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Independently owned & operated

Rick Burt C.E.T. Sales Representative 32 Oxford Avenue Direct: 613-498-7547 In Brockville Office:613-345-2121 ext 316 $259,900 C21burt@ripnet.com Well Maintained East

116 King Street W., Brockville, On

End Bungalow

Helping You Make The Right Move!

VEHICLE WRAPS

· FLEET TRUCKS · PAINT PROTECTION · HEAVY EQUIPMENT · SOLVENT PRINTING · VEHICLE STRIPES · REAL ESTATE SIGNS · ILLUMINATED SIGNS FAX: 613-925-1556

C - Way Services

Up to 90% efficiency Cut Fuel Requirements in Helf Indoor / outdoor installation Gasification Technology Simple cleaning

Alternative Heating Products For A Cleaner Future!

It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character. ~ Dale E. Turner

Issue 11

Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada! Head Office: 306-446-2710

www.mcguffysnews.com

Be Cheerful

Dwaine, a 90 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Dwaine walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Dwaine and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” Dwaine replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'.” The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I told you that you have a heart murmur and be careful.”

To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves; there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. ~ Marcus Aurelius

Airport Shuttle

Tel: 613-345-4915

www.cwaylimo.com Brockville • Ontario • Canada

Single vision eyewear lenses & frames $129.00 or 1 year supply $199.00 Acuve advance plus (free trial fitting included)

Brockville and 1000 Islands

We Copy & Print

79 –163 Ormond St T: 613.342.0333 Brockville, ON K6V 7E6 store79@theupsstore.ca

LOSE WEIGHT SAVE MONEY

The lake is as smooth as glass. You paddle your canoe at a speed of 7 miles/ hour headed for the stream leading to the fishing camp 14 miles upstream. Buddy Deke is already there. The current in the stream flows at 3 miles per hour. Just as you start paddling upstream, Deke loses one of his bobbers in the water. How long will it take for you and Deke’s bobber to meet? Answer:

www.overview.visalus.com

www.joinbob.ws

(613)498 1919

You Should Check This Out! 5 ads you should check out in this issue! √ City of Brockville √ Leeds County Book Store Saving o’ the Green Sale √ C21 Rick Burt Oxford Avenue new listing √ Maple Heights Tree Service √ Pauline’s Lingerie Saving O’ the Green Sale

613-341-7846 613-803-1309 r_larrett@yahoo.com

Get With The PRO`s Open 7 Days A Week

The speed of the stream is not a factor. Deke’s bobber is carried along at a rate of three miles per hour and so will you. It takes two hours to travel fourteen miles, at a rate of seven miles per hour.

March 16 - Gypsy Moon March 31 - Gypsy Moon 3-7pm April 6 Blues Highway March 17 - Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day 3-7pm April 13 Backlash March 23 - City Limits April 14 Gypsy Moon 3-7pm March 30 - Real Deal April 20 Jack Daniels Band

Start Your 90 Day Challenge!

9 minute oil change! No appointments! And Warranty approved! Rust Proofing $79.99! Snow Tires From 59.99!

Snow Tire Installations Available!

613.342.3000

103 Broome Road , Brockville ON www.prooilchange.com

Visit our

ALL IN-STOCK Cabinets & Vanities

Showroom at 4504 South Ave

Dog At The Cinema A man goes into a cinema with his dog to watch a film. It’s a romantic comedy and when there’s a funny scene the dog starts laughing. A little later on there’s a sad part and suddenly the dog starts crying. This goes on throughout the entire film, laughing and crying at all the right places. A man sitting a few rows back has witnessed the entire thing and decides to follow the man out. In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says, “That’s truly amazing!” “It certainly is,” the dog owner replied, “He hated the book!”

WE SHARE THE SAME COMMITMENT.

We share a commitment to serve our community. Thank you newspaper readers for voting us #1 for all your insurance needs.

P045003CN 12/04

Rick Beer, Agent 522 King Street West Brockville, ON K6V 3T2 Bus: 613-342-9076 rick.beer.j13s@statefarm.com

State Farm • Canadian Head Offices: Aurora, Ontario • statefarm.ca

For ALL your Cabinetry needs...

(Hillcrest Plaza) Near Tincap BerryFarm

613.865.7444 Open: Tues to Fri 10 - 5, Sat 10 - 2 www.DirectCabinets.ca See Store for Details

Early Spring Sale

SEE OPPORTUNITY. SEE WHAT’S

HUMANLY POSSIBLE AT MANPOWER.COM

613-342-0250

CASH & CARRY ONLY

Sam’s March & April Line-Up:

ViSalus Independent Distributor

30% OFF

Monday’s - Pool League 7pm Thurdays - Karaoke Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm

AGE OF MAJORITY

Live Entertainment ~ Billiards ~ Darts ~ Shuffleboard Big Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays

8½ x11 B⁄W Copies

Some conditions apply. See See store storefor for conditions apply. details. Offer expires expiresMay March 2012. 31,31, 2011.

The Shake That Tastes Like A Cake!

How Long Does It Take?

NOW IT’S TIME TO CALL YOUR SHOTS! It's back, bigger and better than ever! The 10th Annual Pricedex Corporate 8 Ball Challenge, at the newly opened RAXX Bar & Grille on Chelsea Street in Brockville. Noon to 6 on Friday, March 30th. Close the office and join the fun as 30 teams vie for the honours in a "Fun Drazer" Tournament for the United Way in Leeds and Grenville. Call 613-342-8889 for more information.

100 FREE

• Colour Digital Printing & Photocopying • Document Finishing • Business Cards & Stationery Items • Large Format Printing • Flyers & Brochures • And so much more!

HEY ALL YOU BIG SHOTS!

SAM’S BRASS RACKS

24 Perth St, Brockville, ON

613-658-5779

www.greenhorizonboilers.net Bob Lunnie - President

If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

PROFESSIONAL SIGNS TNTDYNAMITESIGN@XPLORNET.COM

Comfort Efficiency Security Up to 90% efficiency Simple operation & maintenance

Pro Series High Efficiency Wood Furnace

Empowering Thoughts

PORTABLE RENTAL SIGNS

SPECIALIZING IN:

Model 100 Indoor Wood Boilers

To Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist Jon: 613 342 0428 jon@mcguffysnews.com

VOL. 5

Townsman Ltd., Brokerage

“Visit my listings!” www.c21burt.com

F Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s Edition ree!


Little Bear Bookkeeping www.littlebearbookkeeping.ca

“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$” Start Up Bank Reconciliation Gov’t Remittances

Patricia Doucette

Payroll-ROE’s-T4’s Source Documentation Monthly Financial Statements Owner/Bookkeeper

Hearing Problems Three old guys are out walking. The first one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” The second one says, “No, it’s Thursday!” The third one says, “So am I. Anybody got some water?”

TUNINGS, Sales, Restorations & Moving Brockville, Prescott & Surrounding Areas

613-246-6482

Mobile Vacuum Sales & Service

Central’s - Canister’s - Upright’s New & Used Vacuums We Repair Most Makes & Models

613-802-4477 FREE Delivery ~ FREE Pickup ~ FREE Estimates What Do You Want To Reflect?

“In The

Of Brockville”

Guys & Gals Full Service Salon

613-498-9898 Steph Saunders Owner howyouwear@bellnet.ca 165 King St W Brockville

Gift Certificates Make Great Gifts!

30 Bottles of House Wine

(Red or White)$89.99* (see store for details)

Experience the joy of wine making! Wine created by you! 613 - 498 - 2395 (Just north of Tincap’s only traffic light) 4014 Hwy 29, Brockville, ON

Floor Refinishing

Fully Licensed & Insured

For All Your Hardwood Needs Specializing in refinishing Old Wood Floors

“Restore Your Floor and More”

www.dklflooring.com

Chris Plume 613-349-4500 chris@dklflooring.com

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and everyday he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames with smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened! Everything was lost! He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. “God, how could you do this to me?,” he cried. Early the next day he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. “How did you know I was here?,” asked the weary man of his rescuers. “We saw your smoke signal,” they replied. Moral of the story: It’s easy to get discouraged when things are going bad but we shouldn’t lose heart because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. You may want to consider sharing this, because you never know who feels like their hut is on fire today.

• How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

“You guys line up alphabetically by height. & You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.”

Your True Colors We all know that Art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize truth, at least the truth that is given us to understand. The artist must know the manner whereby to convince others of the truthfulness of his lies. ~ Pablo Picasso

How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?

How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot and something cold, cold?

• How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? •

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Famous Quotes Keep a diary and one day it'll keep you.

Less is more. Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.

Tough On Offenders

Open: Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm Sat 9am - 1pm

Oveerars 15 Yerience Exp

Ever Wonder?

Quick Quote

Trims Baths Nails

Paula Fairfield 613-345-6220 Owner/operator By appointment only Brockville, On. www.mydoggroomerpawla.com

On a single orbit around the sun, the earth travels more than one and a half million miles each day. And if that wasn’t far enough, the sun and the rest of the solar system planets complete 1 orbit around the center of the Milky Way galaxy every 250 million years. Still relatively young, the sun has an estimated lifetime of approximately 11 billion years.

Silly Quotes

Loving atmosphere

The Great Unknown

The Little Grass Hut

San Fernando Valley laws are tough on offenders. Just ask Mayvis Coyle. The 82 year old cane toting senior was slapped with a jaywalking ticket for taking too long to cross the street at a busy intersection. A policeman gave Coyle the ticket after telling her she was obstructing traffic. The officer, who was concerned for her safety, stated the woman stepped onto the road when the 'Don’t Walk' was blinking, while Coyle said she started across while the 'Walk' signal was displaying. The $114 fine was later waivered by the courts and workshops on senior safety were sponsored by the local police department.

Change Is Hard Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

~ Mae West

Strange Laws In Ontario •

If you have a water trough in your front yard it. must be filled by 5:00 a.m.

The color of house and garage doors is regulated by city bylaws (a purple door get you a fine).

It is illegal to have a clothes line in your backyard.

You can’t work on your car in the street.

It’s illegal to climb trees.

Maple Heights Tree Service Serving the Seaway and Ottawa Valley Professional...Yet Affordable Tree Removal Stump Grinding

Fully Insured Free Estimates DOUG CHAPMAN – PRESIDENT 1-877-MAPLE-10 mapleheights@xplornet.ca (1-877-627-5310)


Very Punny

Boosters & Ambassadors Beautician

613-246-9850

I Believe I Believe that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

that awkward moment when... you e-mail or text a whole paragraph to someone and their reply is just ‘k’ .

A New Trend Burgers for the Bourgeoisie... and hold the ketchup! A new trend in pattydecor has popped up in New York City. The Wall Street Burger Shoppe caters to the young executives looking for a trendy brag for the water cooler crowd. Their menu includes a burger made of Kobe beef (high priced beef from Japan) with fixin’s of black truffles, foie gras, Gruyere cheese and a sprinkle of gold for garnish! You can chow down on this shiny delectable dish for the going price of $175 US... or a bargain of just under $172 Canadian at today’s rate!

Riddle

Call 613 342 0428 to have your business featured here!

Don't You Hate... “Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it’s a bit cold outside”

Saturday Only!

613-342-5728

73 King St W Brockville, ON

We are your #1 Gift Store for your child’s educational Toys/Puzzles/Puppets/Clothing/Accessories/Cards

Tracy Seed Owner

Gift Certificates make a greatt gift!

87 King St West 613-345-7925 ext.101 Brockville, ON

Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.

Ph: 613-925-0000 Fax: 613-925-0129

Call the plumbing & water experts today!

24/7 Service

Heather Chapman B. Comm, CA, CPA(CO)

Economic Development Office 1 King St. W Brockville (613) 342-8772 ext 445 info@brockville.com www.brockville.com

Flight Attendant Funnies

GREEN

Check out DOUBLE Stamps on Savings Cards for ALL books, Our New No Savings card? No Problem, Save the tax on ALL books! Spring Come in to see our gifts, calendars, stationary and t-shirts Arrivals ! All marked down 10% - 30%

3526 County RD 26, Prescott, ONT.

mation or contact me directly to set up a consultation.

Quick

COMPETITIVE POSITIONING Brockville offers a high desirable costcompetitive business environment possessing significant cost advantages that contribute to economic prosperity. • A Community Improvement Plan (C.I.P.) with tax concessions and fee waivers • No development charges or storm water management fees in our business park • Serviced industrial property environmentally audited commencing at $30,000 per acre • Facilitation for grants, tax credits, wage subsidies, angel investment and R&D assistance with federal and provincial government programs • Lower than average membership fees for social recreational activities in golf, curling, sports and arts and culture • Enviable livability and vitality community index • Superior attainment levels of academic testing results in both elementary and secondary educational institutes • Some of the lowest fees in Ontario for building permits, water rates, waste disposal fees and transit.

New Chartered Accountant Firm opened in downtown Brockville Specializing in both Canadian and US taxes for individuals and corporations I am a Chartered Accountant and US Certified Public Accountant and for the past 6 years have practiced with the “big 6“ accounting firms in Ottawa. Prior to this, I worked for a Brockville area chartered accountant. I have recently opened my own accounting practice with an office located downtown on King Street above the Royal Bank. I have resided in the Brockville area for almost 10 years, and I look forward to serving the area’s taxation needs this upcoming tax season. I will file Canadian tax returns and provide e-filing services to file returns directly to the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA). In addition to filing Canadian tax returns, I am registered with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) with the required Preparer Tax Identification Number (PTIN) to be able to file returns and represent clients with the IRS. US citizens and green card holders who reside in Canada are required to file annual tax returns with the IRS. Many of these individuals may not be aware of this filing requirement. Snowbirds may also be required to file information returns with the IRS. Please refer to my website, www.heatherchapman.ca for additional infor-

CROSSWORD

We invite you to Think Brockville - Think Growth & Promote your Hometown Charm Reflect on the attributes of community below & “sell up” the City of the 1000 Islands

SAVING

O’ THE

201D-84 King Street W. Brockville, On

Who is the only man in history to have had three ears? Davy Crockett. He had a left ear, a right ear and wild front ear.

St. Patrick’s Day

Spotlight on Business

Q: What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? A: Lost!

Advertise your business here ! McGuffy’s ads work! Jon: (613) 342 0428

Work Hard For Your Marriage When someone at the office where I work became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice, "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" she asked. "Ten years," he replied. Sudoku Solution

Crossword Solution

Pick up McGuffy’s News every week!!

At over 140 Locations in Brockville/Athens North Augusta/Lyn Mallorytown & Rockport Early Spring Special! Save 25% OFF

Exhaust Struts We Help Keep Car Repairs Affordable!

Brakes/Bearings Transmission Service

HWY 29 Auto Service #3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On 613-342-5299


“Smile WITH CONFIDENCE!”

“A Total Approach to Health & Fitness”

A true health & wellness center focused on your success! Physical fitness & nutritional programs tailored to meet your needs. 100 Stewart Blvd. Brockville (Inside Quality Hotel)

We offer: Pool/Squash Sauna/Steam Room Hot Tub Private Fitness Gym Personal Training 613-345-1400 (ext 163)

Pauline’s Lingerie THE

GREEN

Saturday One Day Only

HST

Tax Free on regular priced merchandise In Stock

Save an Extra 20% Off Sale Merchandise

156 King St. West Brockville, On 613-345-2244

Canadian Hearing Society

Free home or office visits • improve communication • improve safety in your home • assistive listening devices • hearing aid batteries Please call us to find out more about our programs and services

Phone 613-498-3933

TTY 1-877-817-8209

Or visit us at 68 William Street, Suite 205 Brockville, Ontario K6V 0A7

Advertise Your Spa Specialties.

Call Jon for details. (613) 342-0428

ROSEMARY’S OPTICAL SHOP

Rosemary Coleman Owner

• Quality Eyewear • Contact Lenses • Eye Exams Arranged • 24 Years of Experience

Custom windows that are a perfect fit! An air tight investment! High quality, energy efficient vinyl windows and doors!

Excellent Service for over 14 Years! Dentures made on site = Time+Cost Effective Maximum benefits from the most advanced denture technology

900 Industrial Rd, Prescott Ontario 613-925-5374 (cell) 613-802-2874

Insurance and investment solutions that fit your life. I can help.

Anna Trakas 613-545-9660 ext 2265 anna.trakas@sunlife.com www.sunlife.ca/anna.trakas © Sun Life Assurance Company of Canada, 2012.

Golden Soles

A Fresh Perspective

St. Patrick’s Day

SAVING O’

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO mAke ThInGS SImpler

• Complete - partial dentures • Relines • Repairs • Soft Liners • Implant dentures No Referrals Necessary!

613-345-2110 Brad Sharron, DD 65 George St. Brockville, ON

Christie Aluminum Products

Denture Specialist

Itrix

Invisible Mom It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, "Can’t you see I’m on the phone?" Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more. "Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?" Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I’m a T.V. guide to answer, "What number is the space channel?" I’m a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Kim had just gotten back from a fabulous trip and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Kim turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Sharon, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read, no devour, the book. I discovered what became for me four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof ? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Sharon. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You’re gonna love it there.’" As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women. Great Job, MOM!

The Sweet Science

Cat Diaries

51 King St. West, Brockville, ON

613 - 498 - 2200 Fax 613 - 498 - 2205

Need an electrifying ad? Call Jon (613) 342-0428

A fountain of youth! Molly Reeves believes the secret of living a long life is just to be happy! For this 100 year old gal from Manchester England, that means donning the gloves and stepping into the ring - that’s right! The boxing ring! Once a week Reeves laces up and practices her jabs and ducks to keep fit. While it leaves her a bit achy afterward, Molly loves the sport and has no plans to hang up the gloves any time soon!

Entry # 3 Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

End Of Season Sale Up To 70% Off

Gift Certificates Available 46 King Street East Brockville, ON

Comfort Diabetic Socks

613-342-7111 Cell: 613-340-6330

Your Business Should STAND OUT! and it will in your LOCAL McGuffy`s! Call to place YOUR ad TODAY! 613.342.0428

Residential & Commercial

Gas ~ Oil ~ Propane Furnaces Heat Pumps ~ Boiler Service ~ Ventilation Repairs & Service to Farm Equipment Joe Cooke Owner

Put fo

Your In HERE!

24 Hour Emergency Service 613-802-0384

Advertise in McGuffy’s

Great Results! 613 342 0428

jon@mcguffysnews.com


“Smile WITH CONFIDENCE!”

“A Total Approach to Health & Fitness”

A true health & wellness center focused on your success! Physical fitness & nutritional programs tailored to meet your needs. 100 Stewart Blvd. Brockville (Inside Quality Hotel)

We offer: Pool/Squash Sauna/Steam Room Hot Tub Private Fitness Gym Personal Training 613-345-1400 (ext 163)

Pauline’s Lingerie THE

GREEN

Saturday One Day Only

HST

Tax Free on regular priced merchandise In Stock

Save an Extra 20% Off Sale Merchandise

156 King St. West Brockville, On 613-345-2244

Canadian Hearing Society

Free home or office visits • improve communication • improve safety in your home • assistive listening devices • hearing aid batteries Please call us to find out more about our programs and services

Phone 613-498-3933

TTY 1-877-817-8209

Or visit us at 68 William Street, Suite 205 Brockville, Ontario K6V 0A7

Advertise Your Spa Specialties.

Call Jon for details. (613) 342-0428

ROSEMARY’S OPTICAL SHOP

Rosemary Coleman Owner

• Quality Eyewear • Contact Lenses • Eye Exams Arranged • 24 Years of Experience

Custom windows that are a perfect fit! An air tight investment! High quality, energy efficient vinyl windows and doors!

Excellent Service for over 14 Years! Dentures made on site = Time+Cost Effective Maximum benefits from the most advanced denture technology

900 Industrial Rd, Prescott Ontario 613-925-5374 (cell) 613-802-2874

Insurance and investment solutions that fit your life. I can help.

Anna Trakas 613-545-9660 ext 2265 anna.trakas@sunlife.com www.sunlife.ca/anna.trakas © Sun Life Assurance Company of Canada, 2012.

Golden Soles

A Fresh Perspective

St. Patrick’s Day

SAVING O’

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO mAke ThInGS SImpler

• Complete - partial dentures • Relines • Repairs • Soft Liners • Implant dentures No Referrals Necessary!

613-345-2110 Brad Sharron, DD 65 George St. Brockville, ON

Christie Aluminum Products

Denture Specialist

Itrix

Invisible Mom It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, "Can’t you see I’m on the phone?" Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more. "Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?" Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I’m a T.V. guide to answer, "What number is the space channel?" I’m a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Kim had just gotten back from a fabulous trip and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Kim turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Sharon, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read, no devour, the book. I discovered what became for me four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof ? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Sharon. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You’re gonna love it there.’" As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women. Great Job, MOM!

The Sweet Science

Cat Diaries

51 King St. West, Brockville, ON

613 - 498 - 2200 Fax 613 - 498 - 2205

Need an electrifying ad? Call Jon (613) 342-0428

A fountain of youth! Molly Reeves believes the secret of living a long life is just to be happy! For this 100 year old gal from Manchester England, that means donning the gloves and stepping into the ring - that’s right! The boxing ring! Once a week Reeves laces up and practices her jabs and ducks to keep fit. While it leaves her a bit achy afterward, Molly loves the sport and has no plans to hang up the gloves any time soon!

Entry # 3 Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

End Of Season Sale Up To 70% Off

Gift Certificates Available 46 King Street East Brockville, ON

Comfort Diabetic Socks

613-342-7111 Cell: 613-340-6330

Your Business Should STAND OUT! and it will in your LOCAL McGuffy`s! Call to place YOUR ad TODAY! 613.342.0428

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Gas ~ Oil ~ Propane Furnaces Heat Pumps ~ Boiler Service ~ Ventilation Repairs & Service to Farm Equipment Joe Cooke Owner

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Your In HERE!

24 Hour Emergency Service 613-802-0384

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Very Punny

Boosters & Ambassadors Beautician

613-246-9850

I Believe I Believe that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

that awkward moment when... you e-mail or text a whole paragraph to someone and their reply is just ‘k’ .

A New Trend Burgers for the Bourgeoisie... and hold the ketchup! A new trend in pattydecor has popped up in New York City. The Wall Street Burger Shoppe caters to the young executives looking for a trendy brag for the water cooler crowd. Their menu includes a burger made of Kobe beef (high priced beef from Japan) with fixin’s of black truffles, foie gras, Gruyere cheese and a sprinkle of gold for garnish! You can chow down on this shiny delectable dish for the going price of $175 US... or a bargain of just under $172 Canadian at today’s rate!

Riddle

Call 613 342 0428 to have your business featured here!

Don't You Hate... “Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it’s a bit cold outside”

Saturday Only!

613-342-5728

73 King St W Brockville, ON

We are your #1 Gift Store for your child’s educational Toys/Puzzles/Puppets/Clothing/Accessories/Cards

Tracy Seed Owner

Gift Certificates make a greatt gift!

87 King St West 613-345-7925 ext.101 Brockville, ON

Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.

Ph: 613-925-0000 Fax: 613-925-0129

Call the plumbing & water experts today!

24/7 Service

Heather Chapman B. Comm, CA, CPA(CO)

Economic Development Office 1 King St. W Brockville (613) 342-8772 ext 445 info@brockville.com www.brockville.com

Flight Attendant Funnies

GREEN

Check out DOUBLE Stamps on Savings Cards for ALL books, Our New No Savings card? No Problem, Save the tax on ALL books! Spring Come in to see our gifts, calendars, stationary and t-shirts Arrivals ! All marked down 10% - 30%

3526 County RD 26, Prescott, ONT.

mation or contact me directly to set up a consultation.

Quick

COMPETITIVE POSITIONING Brockville offers a high desirable costcompetitive business environment possessing significant cost advantages that contribute to economic prosperity. • A Community Improvement Plan (C.I.P.) with tax concessions and fee waivers • No development charges or storm water management fees in our business park • Serviced industrial property environmentally audited commencing at $30,000 per acre • Facilitation for grants, tax credits, wage subsidies, angel investment and R&D assistance with federal and provincial government programs • Lower than average membership fees for social recreational activities in golf, curling, sports and arts and culture • Enviable livability and vitality community index • Superior attainment levels of academic testing results in both elementary and secondary educational institutes • Some of the lowest fees in Ontario for building permits, water rates, waste disposal fees and transit.

New Chartered Accountant Firm opened in downtown Brockville Specializing in both Canadian and US taxes for individuals and corporations I am a Chartered Accountant and US Certified Public Accountant and for the past 6 years have practiced with the “big 6“ accounting firms in Ottawa. Prior to this, I worked for a Brockville area chartered accountant. I have recently opened my own accounting practice with an office located downtown on King Street above the Royal Bank. I have resided in the Brockville area for almost 10 years, and I look forward to serving the area’s taxation needs this upcoming tax season. I will file Canadian tax returns and provide e-filing services to file returns directly to the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA). In addition to filing Canadian tax returns, I am registered with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) with the required Preparer Tax Identification Number (PTIN) to be able to file returns and represent clients with the IRS. US citizens and green card holders who reside in Canada are required to file annual tax returns with the IRS. Many of these individuals may not be aware of this filing requirement. Snowbirds may also be required to file information returns with the IRS. Please refer to my website, www.heatherchapman.ca for additional infor-

CROSSWORD

We invite you to Think Brockville - Think Growth & Promote your Hometown Charm Reflect on the attributes of community below & “sell up” the City of the 1000 Islands

SAVING

O’ THE

201D-84 King Street W. Brockville, On

Who is the only man in history to have had three ears? Davy Crockett. He had a left ear, a right ear and wild front ear.

St. Patrick’s Day

Spotlight on Business

Q: What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? A: Lost!

Advertise your business here ! McGuffy’s ads work! Jon: (613) 342 0428

Work Hard For Your Marriage When someone at the office where I work became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice, "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" she asked. "Ten years," he replied. Sudoku Solution

Crossword Solution

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At over 140 Locations in Brockville/Athens North Augusta/Lyn Mallorytown & Rockport Early Spring Special! Save 25% OFF

Exhaust Struts We Help Keep Car Repairs Affordable!

Brakes/Bearings Transmission Service

HWY 29 Auto Service #3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On 613-342-5299


Little Bear Bookkeeping www.littlebearbookkeeping.ca

“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$” Start Up Bank Reconciliation Gov’t Remittances

Patricia Doucette

Payroll-ROE’s-T4’s Source Documentation Monthly Financial Statements Owner/Bookkeeper

Hearing Problems Three old guys are out walking. The first one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” The second one says, “No, it’s Thursday!” The third one says, “So am I. Anybody got some water?”

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Of Brockville”

Guys & Gals Full Service Salon

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30 Bottles of House Wine

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Floor Refinishing

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For All Your Hardwood Needs Specializing in refinishing Old Wood Floors

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Chris Plume 613-349-4500 chris@dklflooring.com

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and everyday he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames with smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened! Everything was lost! He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. “God, how could you do this to me?,” he cried. Early the next day he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. “How did you know I was here?,” asked the weary man of his rescuers. “We saw your smoke signal,” they replied. Moral of the story: It’s easy to get discouraged when things are going bad but we shouldn’t lose heart because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. You may want to consider sharing this, because you never know who feels like their hut is on fire today.

• How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

“You guys line up alphabetically by height. & You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.”

Your True Colors We all know that Art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize truth, at least the truth that is given us to understand. The artist must know the manner whereby to convince others of the truthfulness of his lies. ~ Pablo Picasso

How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?

How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot and something cold, cold?

• How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? •

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Famous Quotes Keep a diary and one day it'll keep you.

Less is more. Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.

Tough On Offenders

Open: Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm Sat 9am - 1pm

Oveerars 15 Yerience Exp

Ever Wonder?

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Trims Baths Nails

Paula Fairfield 613-345-6220 Owner/operator By appointment only Brockville, On. www.mydoggroomerpawla.com

On a single orbit around the sun, the earth travels more than one and a half million miles each day. And if that wasn’t far enough, the sun and the rest of the solar system planets complete 1 orbit around the center of the Milky Way galaxy every 250 million years. Still relatively young, the sun has an estimated lifetime of approximately 11 billion years.

Silly Quotes

Loving atmosphere

The Great Unknown

The Little Grass Hut

San Fernando Valley laws are tough on offenders. Just ask Mayvis Coyle. The 82 year old cane toting senior was slapped with a jaywalking ticket for taking too long to cross the street at a busy intersection. A policeman gave Coyle the ticket after telling her she was obstructing traffic. The officer, who was concerned for her safety, stated the woman stepped onto the road when the 'Don’t Walk' was blinking, while Coyle said she started across while the 'Walk' signal was displaying. The $114 fine was later waivered by the courts and workshops on senior safety were sponsored by the local police department.

Change Is Hard Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

~ Mae West

Strange Laws In Ontario •

If you have a water trough in your front yard it. must be filled by 5:00 a.m.

The color of house and garage doors is regulated by city bylaws (a purple door get you a fine).

It is illegal to have a clothes line in your backyard.

You can’t work on your car in the street.

It’s illegal to climb trees.

Maple Heights Tree Service Serving the Seaway and Ottawa Valley Professional...Yet Affordable Tree Removal Stump Grinding

Fully Insured Free Estimates DOUG CHAPMAN – PRESIDENT 1-877-MAPLE-10 mapleheights@xplornet.ca (1-877-627-5310)


Independently owned & operated

Rick Burt C.E.T. Sales Representative 32 Oxford Avenue Direct: 613-498-7547 In Brockville Office:613-345-2121 ext 316 $259,900 C21burt@ripnet.com Well Maintained East

116 King Street W., Brockville, On

End Bungalow

Helping You Make The Right Move!

VEHICLE WRAPS

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Alternative Heating Products For A Cleaner Future!

It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character. ~ Dale E. Turner

Issue 11

Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada! Head Office: 306-446-2710

www.mcguffysnews.com

Be Cheerful

Dwaine, a 90 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Dwaine walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Dwaine and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” Dwaine replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'.” The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I told you that you have a heart murmur and be careful.”

To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves; there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. ~ Marcus Aurelius

Airport Shuttle

Tel: 613-345-4915

www.cwaylimo.com Brockville • Ontario • Canada

Single vision eyewear lenses & frames $129.00 or 1 year supply $199.00 Acuve advance plus (free trial fitting included)

Brockville and 1000 Islands

We Copy & Print

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LOSE WEIGHT SAVE MONEY

The lake is as smooth as glass. You paddle your canoe at a speed of 7 miles/ hour headed for the stream leading to the fishing camp 14 miles upstream. Buddy Deke is already there. The current in the stream flows at 3 miles per hour. Just as you start paddling upstream, Deke loses one of his bobbers in the water. How long will it take for you and Deke’s bobber to meet? Answer:

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You Should Check This Out! 5 ads you should check out in this issue! √ City of Brockville √ Leeds County Book Store Saving o’ the Green Sale √ C21 Rick Burt Oxford Avenue new listing √ Maple Heights Tree Service √ Pauline’s Lingerie Saving O’ the Green Sale

613-341-7846 613-803-1309 r_larrett@yahoo.com

Get With The PRO`s Open 7 Days A Week

The speed of the stream is not a factor. Deke’s bobber is carried along at a rate of three miles per hour and so will you. It takes two hours to travel fourteen miles, at a rate of seven miles per hour.

March 16 - Gypsy Moon March 31 - Gypsy Moon 3-7pm April 6 Blues Highway March 17 - Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day 3-7pm April 13 Backlash March 23 - City Limits April 14 Gypsy Moon 3-7pm March 30 - Real Deal April 20 Jack Daniels Band

Start Your 90 Day Challenge!

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Snow Tire Installations Available!

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Visit our

ALL IN-STOCK Cabinets & Vanities

Showroom at 4504 South Ave

Dog At The Cinema A man goes into a cinema with his dog to watch a film. It’s a romantic comedy and when there’s a funny scene the dog starts laughing. A little later on there’s a sad part and suddenly the dog starts crying. This goes on throughout the entire film, laughing and crying at all the right places. A man sitting a few rows back has witnessed the entire thing and decides to follow the man out. In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says, “That’s truly amazing!” “It certainly is,” the dog owner replied, “He hated the book!”

WE SHARE THE SAME COMMITMENT.

We share a commitment to serve our community. Thank you newspaper readers for voting us #1 for all your insurance needs.

P045003CN 12/04

Rick Beer, Agent 522 King Street West Brockville, ON K6V 3T2 Bus: 613-342-9076 rick.beer.j13s@statefarm.com

State Farm • Canadian Head Offices: Aurora, Ontario • statefarm.ca

For ALL your Cabinetry needs...

(Hillcrest Plaza) Near Tincap BerryFarm

613.865.7444 Open: Tues to Fri 10 - 5, Sat 10 - 2 www.DirectCabinets.ca See Store for Details

Early Spring Sale

SEE OPPORTUNITY. SEE WHAT’S

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Sam’s March & April Line-Up:

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Monday’s - Pool League 7pm Thurdays - Karaoke Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm

AGE OF MAJORITY

Live Entertainment ~ Billiards ~ Darts ~ Shuffleboard Big Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays

8½ x11 B⁄W Copies

Some conditions apply. See See store storefor for conditions apply. details. Offer expires expiresMay March 2012. 31,31, 2011.

The Shake That Tastes Like A Cake!

How Long Does It Take?

NOW IT’S TIME TO CALL YOUR SHOTS! It's back, bigger and better than ever! The 10th Annual Pricedex Corporate 8 Ball Challenge, at the newly opened RAXX Bar & Grille on Chelsea Street in Brockville. Noon to 6 on Friday, March 30th. Close the office and join the fun as 30 teams vie for the honours in a "Fun Drazer" Tournament for the United Way in Leeds and Grenville. Call 613-342-8889 for more information.

100 FREE

• Colour Digital Printing & Photocopying • Document Finishing • Business Cards & Stationery Items • Large Format Printing • Flyers & Brochures • And so much more!

HEY ALL YOU BIG SHOTS!

SAM’S BRASS RACKS

24 Perth St, Brockville, ON

613-658-5779

www.greenhorizonboilers.net Bob Lunnie - President

If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

PROFESSIONAL SIGNS TNTDYNAMITESIGN@XPLORNET.COM

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To Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist Jon: 613 342 0428 jon@mcguffysnews.com

VOL. 5

Townsman Ltd., Brokerage

“Visit my listings!” www.c21burt.com

F Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s Edition ree!


Mcguffys Vol 5 issue 11