Page 4

NEWCOLUMN!

Maui Nui Botanical Gardens & the County of Maui Present the 3rd Annual

Earth Day Celebration Saturday, April 23, 2005 10:00 am—3:00 pm Conservation. Culture. ‘Ono food. Hawaiian games, poi pounding, kapa, cordage & lei making. Information booths about conservation work on Maui. Recycling demonstrations & activities. Entertainment Richard Ho‘opi‘i, Pulama Collier, Luana Kawa‘a & Halau Hula Ka Makani Kili‘o‘opu, Cody Pueo Pata & Halau Hula Ka Malama Mahilani, & Emcee Ki‘ope Raymond! Sponsors A&B Foundation, DLNR/Natural Area Reserve System, Friends of Haleakala, JB Sound, Maui County Department of Water Supply, Native Hawaiian Plant Society, It’s fun, free & for families! Plenty of free parking

150 Kanaloa Ave. in Kahului (across from the War Memorial Sports Complex) Call 249-2798 or visit us on the web: www.mnbg.org

Infrequently Asked Questions Q: What is Maui Time Weekly’s address and phone number? A: Why do you want to know that? Does someone at Maui Time Weekly owe you money? What difference does it make where we’re located? Look, pal—if this is about that deal that went down in Miami, I’ll tell you what I told the cops: that guy was asleep when I left him at 2 a.m. I have no idea how his car got pushed off that pier, or how he got hit over the head and tied to the steering wheel in the first place. Okay? So just lay off, if you know what’s good for you. Q: How do I send free books, premiums, big event tickets, food and other valuables free of charge to Maui Time Weekly? A: Maui Time Weekly’s mailing address is 658 Front St., #126A-7278, Lahaina, HI 96761. Q: Are you guys, like, the best newspaper ever? A: Why, yes. Yes we are. Thanks for noticing. Q: What did I ever do without you guys?

Original Aorttos from Your Ph

39

$

EACH when you purchase 2 or more • Full Service Car Wash • Express Detailing • Express Oil Changes

1203 Keawe St., Lahaina Across from Lahaina Cannery Mall

808-661-9274 Open 7 Days 8am-6pm Lube closed on Sundays

4

APRIL 14, 2005

NEWS

12”x18” • Your own photo is enhanced in Photoshop and printed on canvas (Giclée) • Rolled canvas packs and ships easily! • All work is done while you wait!

704 Front St. Lahaina of Dickenson) (at the corner

661-4042

BY GEORGE THRUSTGOOD

A: I have no idea. Not a day goes by that we don’t ask ourselves the same question. “What did all these shmoes do without us way back when?” I asked just this morning. We all just stood there and shook our heads. Q: Who was a better British Prime Minister—Benjamin Disraeli or William Gladstone?

A: Tough call. Both were excellent administrators for Queen Victoria, but Gladstone is probably the better of the two. Sure, Disraeli’s Factory Act and Climbing Boys Act made working life easier, but Gladstone brought about the secret ballot to protect voters, campaign spending limits and a broadening of voter rolls to including working class men. He even tried to get the government to accept Irish Home Rule, but that was a bit much to ask of Victorian Parliament. Plus, Gladstone got more tail. Q: What should I do this weekend? A: Hold on, let me ask Sam. “Hey Sam! Some guy wants to know what to do this weekend! Sam! Oh, she’s not here? Well, where the hell is she? Yes, this is important. What do you mean she got the day off? I don’t remember—oh wait, yes I do. Never mind.” Yeah, Sam’s not here. Why don’t you just consult our outstanding calendar section? It’s got everything—even resort shows! You know, if you’re into that sort of thing. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. Q: Is journalism hard? A: Hell no. I mean, if you’re honest and diligent about it, I suppose it can be pretty tough, but for many papers it’s just a matter of reprinting press releases. Their toughest call is making sure they have an equal number of grip-’n-grin photos (corporate exec shaking another corporate exec’s hand) and peopleholding-novelty-sized-check photos (corporation donates money to local non-profit). And if you get stuck for stories, you just fall back on that old journalistic standby: If you don’t know, just make it up! MTW

EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com I was following your truck in traffic on my way home from work in Lahaina the other day. You certainly inspired me, but not in a good way. You see, your Ford F-150 had trash blowing from the bed all the way from the Westside to Kahului. And you hit all the good spots—Puamana, Guardrails, Olowalu, even Toilet Bowls. A ridiculous amount of trash spilled out of your truck. Then, when we passed Thousand Peaks and the trade winds came howling through, I was sure you were going to pull over and batten down the hatches. But NO! You kept on truckin’ so McGregor’s and Ma’alaea could take a licking. Funny thing was that you had “Live Aloha,” “D.A.R.E.” and “Honor Roll” stickers over your bumper. But the one that really motivated me to write in had to be the “In Deep Surfboards” sticker. Dude: you surf, have kids, work and aspire to live aloha. Wake up! Stop letting your trash blow everywhere! Either that or get some new bumper stickers.

08.42 Fashion Issue, April 14, 2005, Volume 8, Issue 42, MauiTime  
08.42 Fashion Issue, April 14, 2005, Volume 8, Issue 42, MauiTime  

MauiTime showcases the latest fashions created by local designers in the annual Fashion Issue. Bamboo Chi is reviewed in the Maui Restaurant...

Advertisement