16.33 Our Guide To Maui County Park Restrooms, January 31, 2013, Volume 16, Issue 33, MauiTime

January J Ja anuary 31, 2013 ✚ Volu Volume l me 16 ✚ Is Issue ss su ue 33 ✚ FR F FREE REE

OUR GUIDE TO MAUI COUNTY PARK RESTROOMS

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MAUI

PG.15

WARM

NO CAN

OPEN

BODIES PG.19

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JANUARY 31, 2013

Contents VOLUME 16

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Who do you want to win Superbowl XLVII?

✚

ISSUE 33

ON THE COVER: January J Ja anuary 31, 2013 ✚ Volu Volume l me 16 ✚ Is Issue ssu sue ue 33 ✚ FREE FREE FR

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Springfield Atoms

OUR GUIDE TO MAUI COUNTY

Cover design by Darris Hurst. Image

by Nikki Bodine “©istockphoto.com/ nbodine”

PARK RESTROOMS

Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Chuck Norris), Jenny Greene (Liverpool Football Club) Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com The squares on my Superbowl pool!

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Al Roker, who pooped in his pants

4 10 13 15 17 19 21 22 23 28 29 31

MAUI OPEN PG.15

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Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Seattle Seahawks

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Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter

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NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY EAT & DRINK A&E THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

F O L L O W US!

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*MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee; excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price may vary. All rights reserved. stickybits® is a registered trademark of stickybits, Inc. iPhone® is a trademark of Apple, Inc.,registered in the U.S. and other countries. Android™ is a trademark of Google Inc. Use of this trademark is subject to Google Permissions. ©2012 Scion, a marque of Toyota Motor Sales U.S.A., Inc. All rights reserved. Scion, the Scion logo, and xD are trademarks of Toyota Motor Corporation.

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MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2013 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

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MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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News & Views

READER FEEDBACK

QUIZunderstood

BY READERS LIKE YOU just to read The New York Times so I can keep WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH OPEN LETTERS ANYWAY? up on things. Some of us really like printing on

paper. Not everyone loves the Internet or getting all the information from it. I love to hold a newspaper in my hands and read.

How about articles about interesting people who are making it on Maui? I just met a guy who makes fabric. Whatever!

Interesting guy. There’s a guy at the swap meet who sharpens knives? What? There are girls here who redo and make furniture.

There’s a sea glass jewelry war going on between the people who sell it at fairs and the swap meet. It’s hysterical!! There are people who weave and help disabled kids learn to weave. Go to the Swap Meet and interview the people who have interesting booths (please, no jewelry). How about a cooking page where people who are home cooks are featured and the recipes. How about a column where the writer tells funny things they see or hear around Maui. Place is really funny!! Servers have great stories!

Please, use some imagination. I’d hate to see it go the way of The Reader in San Diego.

-Cecila Holder, via email

Send your feedback

to the editor

editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

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Democratic politician for “the vigorous way in which [the person] is working at cross-purposes with the Democratic Party of Hawaii, the Governor and the President regarding marriage equality.” Who is the politician?

A. Lieutenant Governor Shan Tsutsui.

B. U.S. Congress member Tulsi Gabbard.

C. State House Speaker Joe Souki.

D. State Senator Mike Gabbard.

E. State Representative Kyle Yamashita.

3.

PHOTO COURTESY WIKI MEDIA BY GILLFOTO

For two years I have been reading the MauiTime faithfully. It’s my entertainment on Thursday evening while my husband watches bad TV. I look forward to it. However it has gotten really boring and soooo full of advertisements. Yes, I do understand ads are the bread and butter of an independently owned newspaper. There’s a newspaper like yours in San Diego, The Reader. It used to be the greatest newspaper. Interesting articles, funny commentaries, book reviews, etc. Now it’s huge advertising newspaper. It’s so boring.

There was an article in one MauiTime that was about some squatters on land near the river (or was it near the ocean?).

Anyway what happened to those people?

What is with the Open Letters? This week it was a person talking to their space heater.

Are these from real people or nut cases? I have never spoken to a heater before.

You are our only hope for interesting articles about interesting people and places and issues. The Maui News is so awful, I can’t bring myself to even buy it. I go to Barnes & Noble

1.

According to the Jan. 26 Maui News, in April a famous ship will make a port call at Lahaina. What is the name of the ship?

A. Queen Mary II. B. USS Enterprise.

C. Pacific Princess.

D. HMS Bounty.

E. RMS Titanic II.

2.

On Jan. 26, the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Caucus of Hawaii’s Democratic Party sent out a press release calling out a certain

About 2.3 million people visited Maui County in 2012, according to the Hawaii Tourism Authority, which released the numbers on Jan. 24. That number, while far more than the 1.9 million who visited the county in 2009, is still short of the highest annual total, which was 2.5 million. When did that the county reach that high point?

A. 1995.

B. 1998.

C. 2000.

D. 2004.

E. 2007.

See answers, page 29

News & Views

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

MAUITIME PUBLISHER PLEADS NOT GUILTY

November 29, 2012 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 24 ✚ FREE

THE US SUPREME COURT SAYS

PHOTOGRAPHY

IS NOT A YET MAUI POLICE OFFICER

RUSTY LAWSON

STILL ARRESTED MAUITIME PUBLISHER

TOMMY RUSSO FOR FILMING OPERATION RECON

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What’s more, Judge Kawano agreed to Russo’s request to film both his arraignment and future court appearances (follow @TommyRusso on Twitter to see footage Russo has shot so far). So for now, that’s pretty much that. Russo’s next scheduled court date, a pretrial conference, is Feb. 21 at 2pm.

SCOTT CAAN APOLOGIZES FOR WRONG THING So I guess life in the islands can continue now that Hawaii Five-O actor Scott Caan has humbly apologized for dissing the Great State of Hawaii. For those whose televisions burned out or simply have better things to do than follow the late night talk show ramblings of a guy whose dad is a way, way better actor than he, Caan recently appeared on the E! Network’s Chelsea Lately on Jan. 24 and proceeded to not only bite the hand that feeds his em-

Scott Caan

ployer lucrative state film tax credits, but to spray it with dismissive bullets.

Caan said Hawaii is “too relaxed” and surfing here is a matter of “survival;” he said crystal meth is too available, and– worst of all–that the food here “sucks.”

Both traditional news media and social media across the state were quick to denounce the comments as “not-so flattering” and “offensive.” Comment forums lit up with people calling for the show to kill off Caan’s Danno character without haste.

Of course, the inevitable apology arrived just a couple days later, on Sunday, Jan. 27, according to a Hawaii News Now story published that day: “I am truly sorry for my comments made on Chelsea Lately,” Caan said, according to the story. “Jokes are always a part of late night talk shows, but I’m horrified if I hurt or offended anyone, as that was not my intention. I love Hawaii, I love the people of Hawaii and I apologize.”

Writing the whole thing off as “jokes” that misfired is, in itself, laughable, as anyone who’s viewed the full clip knows.

If that bit with show host Chelsea Handler was funny, then Speaker of the House John Boehner is the funniest guy ever.

I’m still waiting for someone to explain exactly what Caan did wrong. Sure, his opin-

tals? The cop show where all the head guys are white and all their lieutenants are good Orientals in suits, and they all cooperate and co-prosper shooting at the bad Orientals out of helicopters? With this constant reference all the time to a ‘Mainland’ that seems close to the island and in peril from the island’s disorder and in need of what’s the word immunization, but which calls Jack Lord’s every shot, and justifies all the shooting of natives out of helicopters?”

Okay, so maybe today’s Hawaii Five-O incarnation doesn’t have so many helicopters, but it does still cherish that classic white guys bringing order to a decidedly non-white island theme, and it’s not very nice. In fact, it’s all too reminiscent of the 1893 overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom. But hey–whatever sells Hawaiian tourism, right?

KIHEI FOURTH FRIDAY And now I will consume in a small helping of crow. Back in September, when the County of Maui cancelled the Fourth Friday Town Party in Paia, I wrote that plans to set up a new monthly gathering in Kihei were “ludi-

PHOTO BY SEAN M. HOWER

CRIME

PHOTO BY DAVID SHANKBONE

My apologies for not updating the case of MauiTime’s Publisher Thomas Russo–who was arrested on Nov. 20, 2012 while attempting to film two Maui Police Officers during Operation Recon–but nothing much has happened since then. On Thursday, Jan. 24, before Wailuku District Court Judge Kelsey Kawano, Russo pleaded Not Guilty to two charges: failing to obey a police officer and disorderly conduct (a Maui News brief on the arraignment published the next day said Russo “pleads innocent,” which is not technically correct).

For those following along at home, you’ll notice that these are different charges than those slapped on Russo at the time of his arrest, which were obstructing a government operation, harassment and resisting arrest. But regardless of their wording, the charges all dance around the same issue: Russo was filming police officers on a public highway when he was arrested–an act that has been deemed legal by the United States Supreme Court.

ions, whether tongue-in-cheek or not, were absurdly ignorant (except the part about crystal meth). Freedom of speech anyone?

If anything, Caan, the rest of the Hawaii Five-0 cast and the CBS television network ought to be apologizing for the entire show. Talk about insulting: has anyone who’s watched at least one episode ever really thought about the message that thing is sending about Hawaii? I’m not talking the shallow storylines, dry dialogue or one-dimensional characters–I mean the show’s message.

Well, the late writer David Foster Wallace did. Guy grew up watching the original Jack Lord show (which displays the same themes as the remake) and he viciously disemboweled the show in his novella “Westword the Course of Empire Takes its Way” (which is included in the 1989 book Girl With Curious Hair). Here’s “J.D.” from the story: “’Hawaii Five-O’ is not political? We’re talking about the same show? The show that ran from ‘65 to ‘73? That had helicopter imagery in every episode? Helicopters full of

Party on!

wooden-faced, purposeful white guys in the kinds of business suits capitalism’s all about?

White guys flying around in helicopters restoring order to this oriental island that can’t seem to govern itself, that’s overrun with violent and bad and indigenous Orien-

Overheard CUSTOMER: “I’m retired.”

CASHIER: “Do you mean ‘retired’ retired or just retired?”

-Times Supermarket in Honokowai, Jan. 26

crous” because Kihei “lacks an actual town core.” Since then, the county has held two town parties in Kihei–at the Azeka Mauka shopping center parking lot and a portion of Pi‘ikea Ave.–both of which I’ve attended.

Given the thousands of people who've shown up for both events, the huge lineup of food trucks and booths, the eclectic mishmash of musical acts on the stage over

by Diamonds Ice Bar and the fact that the crowd vibe never seemed to rise above “chill,” there’s no question that the the town party concept works in Kihei.

Of course, holding these parties in Azeka isn't exactly fair to local bars not located in the shopping center. But hey–I guess that's the price Kihei pays for not having a town center.

Hey, I’ve got to hold some skepticism in reserve. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1633n1

JANUARY 31, 2013

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News & Views

MauiSphere

LOCAL PLUGS

PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

BY AXEL BEERS

Hawaii state Senate

TIME TO NOMINATE WOMEN OF EXCELLENCE The Maui County Committee on the Status of Women is now accepting nominations for the 2013 “Women of Excellence” awards. The awards program will be held in March, Women’s History Month, and will recognize women in Maui County who have exhibited excellence in the following categories: • Young Woman of Promise (14-21 yrs.)

• Woman of Excellence (21 yrs. and older) • Unsung Hero • Honorary Historical Award (Posthumous) • Career Achievement This year’s award theme is “Women Inspiring Innovation through Imagination– Celebrating Women in Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM).

“The national demand for scientists and engineers is expected to increase four times that of all other occupations,” said Maria Ornellas, Women’s History Month chair and vice-chair of the Committee of the Status of Women, in a Jan. 23 statement. “Through recognition programs such as this, we hope to call attention to the Maui County women in STEM fields who are helping lead the way for women of all ages in Maui County.”

Past Women of Excellence

AKAKU ADDS LIVEU BROADCAST UNIT Akaku, Maui County’s public access television station, has added a new LiveU unit to its repertoire, giving the station the capability to cablecast live in real time. The LiveU unit does all the transmission work of a satellite truck from a 12-pound backpack by harnessing and aggregating cellular links or wireless networks into a seamless broadband transmission.

Viewers experienced the station’s new capability two weeks ago during their first live broadcast of the Maui Interscholastic League (MIL) regatta.

In less than a second, the regatta video was transmitted to Akaku’s Kahului receiver and instantly streamed on Channel 54 and the station’s website.

“Akaku’s live broadcast of our high school regatta is a remarkable opportunity to share our sport with the families and friends of our student athletes who are unable to join us at the beach,” said Race Director/Assistant Coordinator Mahina Martin. “This is especially exciting for the families of our paddlers from Molokai and Lanai. Akaku’s ability to reach out to our neighborhoods and families continues to be a valuable asset to our county. We appreciate Akaku’s support of our high school athletes.”

The station has

also already provided live coverage of the dedication of the new airport facilities and the dedication of the new PV facility at the Aquatic Center in Kihei.

Next Saturday, the station will cover the last race of the MIL paddling season on Maui using LiveU, following a live video broadcast from the Makahiki Festival on Molokai using LiveU with a mobile phone.

In a press release, Akaku introduced plans to live broadcast coverage of the Whale Day Parade in Kihei, Maui Friday Town Parties, East Maui Taro Festival and MCRA Canoe Racing, among others.

“Our goal for Akaku’s new LiveU unit is to cablecast live community events, including sports, community meetings, government meetings, breaking news and civil emergencies,” said Suki Halevi, the station’s Director of Development. “We will cablecast these events live on the Akaku channels. In the future, we plan to send live video to and from public access channels and broadcast outlets on Oahu and the mainland, including NBC, FOX, CNN and Univision. The unit gives us the possibility of video streaming live events on the web as well.”

PHOTO COURTESY AKAKU

With Maui boys Shan Tsutsui and Joe Souki holding down important positions in the state (Lieutenant Governor and Speaker of the House, respectively), island residents have predicted a louder voice in the seemingly Oahu-centric Hawaii government. But now, according to a Jan. 28 Hawaii state Senate press release, Maui constituents can now weigh in this legislative session using the Senate’s new Neighbor Island Video Conferencing Pilot Project, which allows users to participate in the legislative process without having to travel to Oahu. That’s right, video chat isn’t just for Skype and ChatRoulette anymore.

The project is being piloted by the Senate Committee on Education and the Senate Committee on Technology and the Arts, meaning that there are limitations on how many individuals can participate.

After this legislative session, the project will be evaluated, expanded and edited as needed.

State and county departments are also free to use this new technology for testimony from their home islands.

“This is an exciting new initiative for the Senate that will allow our constituents to participate in a meeting without actually having to fly to Oahu,” said Senator Roz Baker, who represents South and West Maui. “We hope many residents will take advantage of this opportunity.”

New state Senator Gil Keith-Agaran, who represents Wailuku, Waihe‘e and Kahului, agreed.

“Videoconferencing is a great tool that’ll close the distance between our constituents on Maui and what’s happening at the State Capitol,” he said in the Jan. 28 Senate press release. “It’ll certainly connect them with issues they’re interested in.”

Specific instructions and information about how the videoconferencing system will work have not been released and will be given in hearing notices for the pilot project.

Reservations for providing video-conference testimony will be provided on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants will still

have to provide written testimony.

Those interested should visit capitol. hawaii.gov/videoconf.aspx for more information and application forms.

PHOTO COURTESY COUNTY OF MAUI

NEIGHBOR ISLANDERS CAN NOW TESTIFY!

The awards come at a time when the U.S. faces high unemployment while, paradoxically, American companies are still finding themselves in need of new STEM workers. Meanwhile, women hold only 27 percent of computer science jobs and one in seven engineering jobs. A recent Forbes article reports that less than 20 percent of bachelor’s degrees in computer science go to women, even though 60 percent of newly awarded bachelor’s degrees belong to females.

Nomination forms are available online at mauicounty.gov/csw, via email at Maria.

Ornellas@yahoo.com or by calling Ornellas at 808-372-5177. The deadline to submit nomination forms is Friday, Feb. 8; honorees will be recognized at a special celebration during March at a time and location to be determined.

Akaku in action

Shawn Michael, the new Programming Director, is currently testing their ability to provide live RSS feeds and uploads of videos and stills directly to their channels. The station is also developing a LiveU smart phone app to allow people to send live video to channels. Akaku currently uses Facebook and Twitter to connect the public to events, and the akaku. org website contains a blog.

The station is welcoming suggestions from the community about scheduling. Anyone interested can call them at 808-871-5554 and ask for Sayble, the Production Director. Also, anyone who would like to be on a LiveU shoot as a community producer or submit content with a LiveU mobile phone app, should also contact Sayble. ■ editor@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1633n2

JANUARY 31, 2013

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News & Views

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GOOD NEWS FOR VULTURES Almost-extinct vultures may be making a comeback within the Parsi community of Mumbai, India, after a pain reliever (diclofenac) nearly wiped it out. Parsis’ Zoroastrian religion requires “natural” body disposals (no cremation or burial) of humans and cattle, and bodies have always been ritually laid out for the hungry birds, but the community has also come to rely on diclopfenac in hospitals and for cattle. When News of the Weird last mentioned the problems (in 2001), vultures were dying out from kidney damage caused by the drug, and bodies were piling up. (Parsis were exploring using solar panels to burn the corpses.) However, according to a November New York Times dispatch, clerics are reporting modest success in weaning Parsis off of diclofenac, and the vultures appear more plentiful.

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When a man died of a perforated colon in 2005 in Enumclaw, Wash., while having sex with a horse (at what news reports suggested was a “bestiality farm”), the legislature passed the state’s first anti-bestiality law, which was used in 2010 in another “farm” case, in Bellingham, 110 miles from Enumclaw. A British man had sex with several dogs on the property of Douglas Spink, who had allegedly arranged the trysts, and the man was convicted and deported, but Spink was not charged (though instead was re-imprisoned for an earlier crime).

In November 2012, with Spink nearing release, prosecutors filed bestiality charges using evidence from 2010, involving “four stallions, seven large-breed male dogs” and “13 mice, each coated with a lubricant.”

According to the Bellingham Herald, Spink (acting as his own lawyer) denounced state officials and “the bigotry behind the [law].”

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Peter Welsh, 32, and Dwayne Doolan, 31, weren’t the first burglars to try breaking into a building by smashing through the adjoining basement wall, but they might be the clumsiest. Their target, on New Year’s Eve, was Wrights Jewellers in Beaudesert, Australia, but trying to smash the front window failed, as did smashing the rear doors, which were actually those of another store. They finally settled on the basement option, but absentmindedly broke through the opposite-side wall and wound up in a KFC restaurant. (Undaunted, according to police, they robbed the KFC of about $2,600.)

STINKING LIBRARY LAWS Once again, a public library has been sued for gently asking a patron to leave because his body odor was provoking complaints. George Stillman, 80, filed a

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$5.5 million lawsuit in October against the New York Public Library for feeling “humiliat[ed]” by the staff of the St. Agnes branch in Manhattan. Stillman said he views body odor (his and others’) as mere “challenge[s] to the senses” and “a fact of life in the city.” Actually, he had also denied that he had any body odor at all, but a New York Post reporter, interviewing him about the lawsuit, said she noted “a strong odor.”

STILETTO SURGERY Women’s love-hate affairs with their shoes is the stuff of legends, but a Memphis, Tenn., podiatrist told Fox News in November of a recent increase in women deciding on what might be called the nuclear option–”stiletto surgery”–for horribly uncomfortable, yet irresistible, shoes. Either the shoe must go or the foot, and more are choosing the latter (or at least the pinky), to be removed or reduced by surgery. The Memphis doctor said he sees as many as 30 patients a month interested in the procedure.

JUSTICE-FREE AUTOZONE In December, the car-parts retailer AutoZone became the most recent employer to fire a worker for taking action widely admired–but prohibited in the workplace because of the company’s fear of liability.

Devin McLean and his store manager in York County, Va., were herded into a back room by a gun-wielding holdup man and, being the only witnesses, understandably feared for their lives. However, McLean broke free, ran to his truck, and retrieved his gun. (He could have fled altogether but insisted that, morally, he could not abandon his colleague.) When McLean re-entered pointing his Glock 40, two things happened: (1) The robber fled, and (2) McLean became in violation of AutoZone’s “zero tolerance” policy against employees bringing firearms into the store. Two days later, he was fired.

GOSHEN HAS GOOD CITIZENS In the most recent instance of a store’s locks improperly working to give the appearance that a closed store was doing business, a Kroger supermarket in Goshen, Ind., was unintentionally wide-open on Thanksgiving evening–with no employees (but with 24-hour lighting, as usual).

Police on patrol noted that about a dozen customers were inside trying to use the self-checkout, but left quietly when informed that the store was closed. According to a police spokesperson, “[N]o one [attempted] to steal from the business.” ■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1633n3

SEAN MICHAEL HOWER Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

808.250.1788

MAUIWEDDINGMEDIAS.COM

ehbrah@mauitime.com

T

o the young woman in the white truck who sarcastically yelled, “That’s it; take your time” at me as I was crossing South Kihei Road at Lipoa Street: As it happens, I have a medical condition that sometimes makes every step painful for me, and I was walking as fast as I was able to go at that moment. If you weren’t so self-absorbed, the braces I was wearing on on my knees might have tipped you off to that fact. What you also don’t realize is that I was walking faster than the most comfortable speed for me, as I was trying to be considerate of your needs and those of the other drivers behind you who were waiting for me to cross so they could turn. I don’t know about you, but I believe in the law of karma, and it’s my experience and observation that the karmic interest rate is set pretty high. As a kindness to you, let me suggest that you go out of your way to do something extra nice to make life easier for a person with a disability today. ■

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9

OUR GUIDE TO MAUI COUNTY PARK RESTROOMS

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ohler, which has been making bathtubs and bathroom appliances since about 1883, has a new toilet that will quite possibly take your breath away. Called Numi,

K

10 JANUARY 31, 2013

the toilet “marks a new standard of excellence in the bathroom,” according to the company.

At first glance, it’s just a sharp, if slightly irregularly shaped, white box that you could easily find on the set of

Star Trek. But it’s a toilet–one that features motion senses that raise and lower the lid on its own, feet-warming vents, a retractable bidet that includes both “multiple options for water spray pattern” and a heated air dryer, a deodor-

izer, a heated seat, illuminated panels, speakers and a plug-in for your MP3 player as well as touchscreen controls that allow up to six user presets. Prices vary, but most outlets I’ve found sell Numi for $4,792.50.

I’ve told you about Numi, the very pinnacle of the Great Toilet Pyramid, so you’d understand some context of how I spent the last couple of weeks. Toilets– and by extension, the restrooms that enclose them–can be clean, functional and even pleasant. While most people even in this country, which still somehow enjoys a higher standard of living per capita than any other in the world, can’t afford to install Numi in their home, they can still, er, relieve themselves of any excess baggage in a comfortable environment.

Now the County of Maui’s public parks? Not so much. This is despite the county’s park maintenance budget (which we all pay for) pulling in about $3 million a year for the last few years.

Structurally, most public park bathrooms are the same. Most are built with cinder block walls; most are open at the top, allowing free (and often chilly) ventilation. They are strictly functional constructions–tile floors and simple sinks, mostly. Stall doors (where available) were often simply pieces of wood (painted repeatedly to hide graffiti) that opened and closed with the help of a heavy spring.

As part of a research project that was certainly eye-opening, I conducted spot checks of the public restrooms at 17 of the county’s parks. While some of the restrooms were clean, others were decidedly–and disgustingly–not.

Few of the restrooms I visited had soap dispensers; none had hot water–the easiest method of killing bacteria when washing hands. Toilet tissue was pretty uniform, but paper towels were rare.

Paper sanitary sheets for toilet seats were, as I expected, non-existent. As for the toilets themselves, they ranged from spotless to overflowing with residue from previous visits.

What follows are the notes from my expedition to Maui’s backside. Proceed with caution.

On my visit, my nose caught a strong odor of urine long before I got inside. Like most beach park restrooms, there was plenty of wet sand on the floor. The sinks, though clean, lacked soap dispensers and paper towels. Also, the handle on one of the urinals seemed to have been jury-rigged with wire.

Malu Ulu Olele Park That the County of Maui refers to the restrooms at this park on Front Street in Lahaina as “comfort stations” is beyond laughable.You know the restroom in that first Saw picture? That place is the Four Seasons compared to this place. People on the nearby sidewalk can smell the stench of urine emanating from inside, which looks like it was last cleaned when Nixon was president. Oh, and the men’s room features an actual urinal trough. I’m pretty sure the accused terrorists in Guantanamo have better restroom facilities than this dump.

Honokowai Beach Park Not to get too graphic here, but one of the toilets in this restroom was simply not usable. It had been used–that was very clear–but touching any surface inside, to say nothing of the toilet handle, was clearly asking for trouble. Heaven help anyone on the beach (and it was pretty crowded the day I went) who found the need to go.

can deal with sinks that only have cold water and no soap or paper towels, but putting a door–even just a piece of plywood–on the stall has got to be some sort of priority.

Kamaole II Okay, forget what I said about Kam I– that place is paradise compared to Kam II. This place not only lacks a stall door, but a stall wall as well. Let me be clear: the restroom has a sink, urinal (low flow) and toilet, all in the same room with no partitions whatsoever. Oh, and did I mention that there’s not actually a front door, either? You could just walk in and see some guy with his pants around his ankles, staring up at you with a look frozen between fear and embarrassment. Are you kidding me?

Harold Rice Park First off, the restrooms here offer some of the best views on the entire island. Stand in front of the restroom pavilion, and you can easily see both coasts of Maui. But inside, it was a disaster: no soap and paper towels and a toilet full of solid material that hadn’t been flushed in who knows how long.

Kamaole III Located just down the street from the travesties known as Kam I and Kam II, Kam III features a new restroom building that’s everything you want in a public restroom. The stalls not only have doors, but they have light doors that move easily and latch securely. Of course there’s no soap or paper towels, but the toilets have actual privacy! Rejoice!

Launiupoko Beach Park Go here if you want to see an old-style urinal that runs clear down to the floor.The layout inside was curious, with two large stalls, separated by doors, that each contain a sink.

It’s kind of nice, but when one stall doesn’t have any toilet paper (as was the case here), it’s gonna cause problems. For that reason, you might want to try the portable toilets they have outside–one of which is massive.

Kahului Park

CENTRAL MAUI Kepanawai Park These restrooms are large, with lots of sinks and stalls. The place was mostly clean, but there was fresh graffiti on one stall door. There was also a large, green insect of some kind perched on the trash can near the door. Cool!

Papahaku Park There was no odor here, but the toilets were less than clean. At least there wasn’t any paper on the floor.

4th Marine Division Park

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4th Marine Division Park This sprawling Haiku park, which during World War II was the home of the 4th Marine Division when it wasn’t out assaulting the Marianas and Iwo Jima, has pretty mediocre restrooms. The toilet had some kind of hazy green film in it, and the sinks lacked both paper towels and soap.

WEST MAUI

Kalama Park The restrooms near the ball fields were pretty clean, though one toilet was filled with paper. The restrooms in the main park were also clean, but both facilities lacked soap dispensers and paper towels.

Hookipa Beach Park Most county restrooms don’t have mirrors. But this one had dulled metal plates. Guess it’s cool, but whatever.

There also wasn’t any soap or paper towels, which make getting your hands clean kind of a challenge.

Hanakao‘o Beach Park Locals call this place “Canoe Beach,” and the restroom pavilion is on a small bluff with great vistas of Lanai and Ka‘anapali.

Kamaole I Sigh. Who builds restrooms without stall doors? The people who put together the facilities at Kam I! Look, I

Keokea Park These restrooms looked fairly new, with gray stall doors. The toilets and urinals were clean and there were plen-

Hanakaoo Park

ty of paper towels, but no soap.

Keopuolani Regional Park There are a variety of restroom pavilions in this 110-acre park, all of which lacked soap dispensers. In the restrooms over by the baseball fields, the paper towel dispenser in the men’s room was empty. The restrooms by the kids’ playground equipment were fine.

Those overlooking the MACC were also lacking paper towels.

Kahului Park The good news is the restroom features a low-flow urinal. The bad news is that there was soiled paper on the floor of the toilet stall.

Kanaha Beach Park These restrooms, with exterior walls covered in brightly painted images of fish, were a pleasant surprise. Sure, there was a lot of water on the floor–there’s a changing station inside. But the toilet was clean.

Most surprising of all, there was a bar of soap–an actual bar of actual soap–at the sink. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1633L

JANUARY 31, 2013

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Food & Drink

New Beer, New Brewery Maui Brewing Co. is expanding in a variety of ways

BY JEN RUSSO

Maui Brewing Co.'s new dream facility in Kihei

M

aui Brewing Co.’s latest seasonal release craft brew known as Aloha B’ak’tun may appear difficult to pronounce but it sure goes down easy. The imperial Belgian stout’s dark and spicy makeup comes from being brewed with Big Island chocolate and locally sourced chipotle peppers and cinnamon. Its name comes from the Mayan language and is a play on the release date, which coincided with predictions of the end of the world in December.

“B’ak’tun is a number of cycles in the mayan long count calendar,” says MBC owner and founder Garrett Marrero. “We thought it’d be fun to play with the whole end of the world B.S. and put a positive spin on it. That beer is really cool.”

Garrett and his wife Melanie run the sevenbarrel brewpub in Kahana. There you can find the special brew on tap. The brewery also produced 400 barrels and released 4,300 cases of canned Aloha B’ak’tun, which is now in stores.

Stouts are known for their dark rich flavor, and pair nicely with tangy barbecue and chocolate cake. In my taste test, I washed it down with pau hana lamb sliders from Main Street Bistro and vegan cupcakes from Wailuku Coffee Company–all three are highly recommended.

The release of the beer also coincided with changes in Maui Brewing Co. ohana.

“This year we saw a few of our ohana move back to the mainland–two in particular that are truly missed, John Walsh and Kim Lutz,” Marrero says. “At the same time we added quite a few new teammates. Darren Moser, Director of Brewery Operations, was with Trumer [Pils] in Berkeley. Brandon Fenner, Lead Brewer, was formerly with Magic Hat from Vermont. Kaiao Archer, Brewer, is from Big Island Brewhaus. I’m stoked to have them all on board. It’s a great group of guys to help further develop our staff and carry us into the next evolution.”

The release of Aloha B’ak’tun is not the only good news Maui Brewing Co. is sharing. The brewery also plans to build a new facility in Kihei. The planned location is up at the Maui Research and Technology Park, mauka of Lipoa Street and the Piilani Highway. The new building will bring in alternative energy sources, which are already important to the company that has sustainability incorporated into their current operations on the Westside.

MBC says beer production will increase five-fold and the new location’s closer proximity to Kahului harbor will be an advantage as well. The company also, even-

tually, plans to add hand-crafted sodas, ciders, meads and distilled products to their ever expanding menu of craft beer.

“We’re designing it to be ‘tour capable’ while in full production,” says Marrero. “We look forward to many visitors coming to see how we do what we do. We do tours now but due to safety and production we only offer them on Fridays and Saturdays. We’ll offer at least five days, if not seven, in the new site. The brewpub will be a full-service location much like Kahana. The tasting room will not have food but in the beginning, but until the brewpub is built, we’d like to work with local food trucks to rotate through the tasting room. I think it’d be fun to showcase their foods and our beers together. It will be very efficient as a brewery and beverage facility.”

At their production brewery in Lahaina, MBC has expanded several times, and utilized many up-cycling opportunities incorporating defunct pineapple cannery equipment and other machinery no longer in use by other companies. Their newest Kihei operation, although built brand new, will be no different.

“We have a bunch of stuff that we got for the new facility from Maui Land & Pineapple Co.,” says Marrero. “Sinks, signs, light fixtures, brick, wood, etc. to use in the decoration and design of the new site. Some of our

existing equipment will move to the new site but we will look to either sell the Lahaina facility equipment turnkey to a startup brewery, or decommission and sell off-island.”

The hardest part about creating a completely locally sourced craft brew on Maui is the lack of hops and grain ingredient crops grown here for the beer. The Marreros have to import that in. But Garrett hasn’t given up on the idea of some kind of special edition crop grown for the beer.

“Hops need a frost each year and barley takes a lot of room,” Garrett says. “Then there’s the malting process, which is heavy on time and energy demands. We’ll see.

We’d likely never see enough to produce all our beer, but even if we could get enough for a local harvest ale it’d be cool. I’d totally be supportive of that.”

Last year MBC produced about 22,000 barrels of Maui beer using local labor, alternative energy sources and local food sources like pineapple and coconut. And they canned all of it at their local West Maui brewery using the most eco-friendly materials available.

This year, the company plans to make 24,000 barrels. But they have maxed out what they can do at their existing spot.

Marrero says they can’t physically make enough beer to keep up with demand.

The new Kihei facility is expected to take about a year to build and will add about 80 new jobs to their company that already employs more than 60. First Hawaiian Bank is financing the SBA/HEDCO business loan, and Marrero is giving some thought to a potential equity offering to allow Hawaii residents to be a part of MBC. “I think it’d be cool that our community could be a part of what they’ve helped us build,” he says. “We’ll see.” ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1633d1

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Art & Entertainment

Maui Open Studios Carolyn Quan helps bring island artists and art-lovers together

BY JEN RUSSO

Douglas Chin

T

here’s an island-wide art party going on in February and you’re all cordially invited. None of us may ever really know what holds an artist to his or her work, but that shouldn’t stop us from taking advantage of a chance to see them in action. Maui Open Studios is a once a year chance to get up close and personal with the island’s artists, and it begins Saturday with an opening event at the Maui Tropical Plantation.

The event is free and offers islanders the unique experience of interacting with their favorite artists. Producer Carolyn Quan, who lives in the Bay Area now but used to own her own gallery on Maui, says the concept follows a model developed on the Mainland.

“MOS is being fine-tuned year after year and has from the beginning been inspired and influenced by many open studio events on the Mainland,” says Quan. “I’ve studied a number of them to see what would and wouldn’t work on the islands, since it is a different market and has different needs.

I’ve participated in the East Bay Open Studios and San Francisco Open Studios as an artist in the Bay Area so I learned first-hand about the events from the viewpoint of the artist. There are many different models that are used throughout the mainland. I’d like to think that the Maui event has a uniqueness of its own.”

Though she lives in California now, where she publishes several Bay Area art guides, Quan (CarolynQuan.com) says her ties to Maui are still very strong.

“I love Maui,” says Quan. “It was very good to me during my seven years living there and I like to give back. I also have so many friends and ohana there that I just wanted to bring something fun and exciting and helpful to artists, to the island. I love helping other artists get exposure. It’s

something I’m driven to do. I am hoping to bring it to Oahu in the years to come. I lived there for two years before moving to the Bay Area and I’m well-connected with the art scene there, too.”

The Opening Celebration and Preview Exhibition at the Maui Tropical Plantation will have entertainment by the Arts for Education Children’s Group and no-host food to order. The main attraction will be a chance to preview some of the artists who will participate in the Open Studios events over the coming weekends.

You’ll also be able to pick up a guide book that highlights the different artists and says where their open studio event will take place. This is pretty much mandatory, since more than 100 artists will take part in 6,000 studio visits throughout the month.

“I have to say that from the viewpoint of an art collector, the level of skill of artists on Maui is very high,” says Quan.

“The percentage of highly skilled and exceptional artist in the 2013 MOS event is very, very high. I love that. My hope is that it will bring more art collectors out to the event, so they can have a unique up-close and personal experience with the artists and create more value to the art that they add to their collections by having that experience. There will be an amazing array of artwork: glass (slumped, formed, etc.), wood (turned, carved, etc.), plein air painting, jewelry design, digital art, ceramics, interactive and video art, photography, functional art, abstract painting, paper sculpture, large vessels, animal carvings, hand-crafted furniture– the list goes on. The artist online directory is pretty much done as far as artist profiles go, so please feel free to browse there too: MauiOpenStudios.com.”

The Hui Noeau is a major sponsor for the event, and will host artists and demon-

strations in their printmaking, jewelry and ceramic studios during the Weekend 1 Tour that takes place Saturday and Sunday, Feb. 9-10, from 11am to 6pm. UH Maui College will join in for the first year with their art department hosting a student open studio during Weekend 2 on Saturday and Sunday, Feb. 16-17.

The event should generate more than $100,000 in sales during the studio visits, from small pieces to large collector purchases, says Quan. Some of the more unique mediums and styles can be found among the participating artists like Shane Robinson, Taryn Alessandro, Donna Chameleon Stafford, Jim’s Wood N Glass, Jennifer Throne, Mark Berry, James Powlan, Karen Davidson. Of course, Quan says that collectors are all different, and that visitors can also drive the art market here.

“Tourism also plays a big part in the subject matter of art creates on Maui, in general,” she says. “ A lot of collectors who frequently visit the island often want a piece of art that reminds them of their Maui or Hawaiian experience. In the big cities, you tend to see a lot more contemporary and abstract art, less representational. However with that said, we’re starting to see more modern art emerge on the islands and the breaking of that stereotype. This is what is needed to create a broader and more diverse art scene on the islands. Whether or not there is as much of a demand for it in the tourism market is a whole other question. In this creative world we live in, I’m sure there is plenty of room for all types of artistic expression and a market for it all.”

Artist experience also plays a role in the success of the open studio.

“Based on our post-event artist surveys from the past two years, I would say that about 90 percent of all artists sell something,” says Quan. “Now, this ‘something’ may be a $10 item or $15,000 worth of art. However, with total sales each year of

SCHEDULE Opening Celebration/Preview Exhibition Sat., Feb. 2, 6-9pm Maui Tropical Plantation in Waikapu MauiTropicalPlantation.com Open Studio self-guided tours 11am-6pm.

Weekend 1 North Shore and Upcountry Sat. and Sun., Feb. 9-10 Weekend 2 Central Maui, Road to Hana, Hana and East Maui Sat. and Sun., Feb. 16-17 Weekend 3 West and South Maui Sat. and Sun., Feb. 23-24 over $100,000 (about 70 percent of the artists who returned their surveys), there are a lot of artists who are obviously selling well during the event. There is such a range of artists in terms of experience, professionalism, self-promotion, skill-level, desired mediums, etc. that every artist will have a different experience with the event.

For some artists, MOS is their very first showing to the public and for others it’s one of many, many shows that they do. “ For more information on Maui Open Studios, please visit Mauiopenstudios.com. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more A&E news, visit MauiTime’s events blog at: mauivents.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1633d2

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JANUARY 31, 2013 15

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Picks

BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA @sandtothecity

THURSDAY, JAN. 31 MYSTIC ISLAND FESTIVAL – What better way to spend the winter in Maui than beachside camping? The sixth annual Maui Mystic Island Festival invites all for camping, workshops, music and community. Beginning Thursday, Jan. 31 and running through Sunday, Feb. 3, the four-day event is packed with activities that exude the aloha spirit.

The event strives to create a motivating environment where you can learn more about healthier ways of living. Musical guests include Shimshai, David Starfire and Scott Huckabay, among others. Yoga, Bhangra-Bollywood Dance and non-violent communication are a few of the event’s many workshops. Lindy Kehoe, Daren Minke and Stuart Griggs will be there as well. Hungry? Take advantage of a select variety of organic and raw food options. Last year’s event sold out so be sure to get your tickets early. $10-$210. 1pm. VFW Hall (1136 Uluniu Rd., Kihei), mysticislandfestival.com.

TOUBAB KREWE – Toubab Krewe echoes African greats like Ali Farka Toure and Orchestra Baobab. Their extensive traveling and heavy gig load has contributed greatly to their innovative blend of rock rhythm, international folk strains and African traditions. Whether they’re headliners at their hometown’s famous Orange Peel or appearing in the Desert Festival in Mali, their music reflects the miles traveled and journey to call their sound their own. $28-$38. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Yokouchi Pavilion Courtyard (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-244-7469, mauiarts.org.

FRIDAY, FEB. 1 ‘MAN OF LA MANCHA’ – Recipient of five Tony awards and a Broadway favorite, MAPA is presenting Man of La Mancha. Inspired by Miguel de Cervantes’ 17th century masterpiece Don Quixote, the charming musical follows the story of an unwavering idealist who dares to dream “The Impossible Dream,” changing all who are touched by his spirit. The play has been described as “eloquent, bold and original.” MAPA will host “AfterWords,” a free post show talk sessions with director and cast following the Sunday, Feb. 10 matinees. Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30pm and Sundays at 2pm. $25 adults/$22 seniors & $18 students (18 and under). Super Bowl Sunday Special (Feb. 3) are $15 for all seats. Steppingstone Playhouse, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center (275 W Ka’ahumanu Ave.); 808-244-8760, mauiacademy.org.

WAILUKU FIRST FRIDAY – Wailuku opens its heart for another evening of Friday Town Party. In the spirit of Valentines day, “I Love Wailuku” is the theme this month. Besides live music, ono food vendors and craft, there’s something for every member of the family. This month they welcome the Year of the Snake with a Lion Dance welcoming great fortune and luck (6:307:30pm). Or you can catch a series from Maui Fringe Theater at the Iao Theater or do Vinyasa Flow Yoga live to downtempo beats at Body Alive (6:30-7:15pm). The awa bar will be open at Native Intelligence while magician Timothy Wenk roams the street. Clear your throats for Karaoke Open Mic at the Banyan Tree park or grab a bite at the Vineyard Food Company, where proceeds will help Imua Family Services (5:30pm.) Free. 6pm-9pm.

Wailuku Town (Market Street), mauifridays.com/wailuku.

FRIDAY, FEB. 1

SATURDAY, FEB. 2

MAUI FRINGE FESTIVAL – Maui OnStage, in partnership with Whole Foods Market Maui, is presenting the third annual “Maui Fringe Theater Festival”. It’ll feature one-act plays with performers from New York, Los Angeles and Maui. The marathon of theater will open with They Call Me Q! by Qurrat Ann Kadwani. Kadwani is an award-winning actress from New York City who’s been touring her one-woman show all over the U.S. From Maui, there’s John Brown’s Body

by Will Hausman and starring Paul Janes-Brown as the abolitionist John Brown. And from Improv Olympic West in Los Angeles comes the hysterical one-woman show Turner & Hooch 2: Murder at the Wackenheim Manor by Julia Wackenheim. There will also be showcase performances by Sharyn Stone, the Ultraviolets, excerpts from Shout!: the Mod Musical and more.

Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969, mauionstage.com.

SATURDAY, FEB. 2

THIRD ANNUAL MAUI OPEN STUDIOS EVENT – Throughout the month, artists and artisans open up their studios and exhibition spaces, talk story, connect and often host live demonstrations of their process and techniques. This year, more than 90 artists will participate in the 2013 MOS. The mediums vary from glass, silk painting, digital art, basket weaving, photography, jewelry design, bronze sculpture, mixed media, ceramics, Plein Air, stone carving and printmaking. The opening celebration will include a cash bar, no-host pupus and live entertainment. 6pm-9pm.

Maui Tropical Plantation (1670 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Wailuku), MauiTropicalPlantation.com, mauiopenstudios.com.

PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA BY TANIA SAIZ

SPARKLING GO RED SOIREE – Kicking off Heart Month 2013 the fight against the top cause of death in women, Kapalua Spa is presenting a Sparkling Go Red Soirée.

Enjoy chair massages by Kapalua Spa, smooth hands by Clarisonic, body posture evaluation, eye station by Opal and lips station by La Bella Donna Makeup. The evening will also feature a fashion show, silent auction and a Hot Lips contest. Sip on bubbly and indulge in spa truffles while contributing to a cause. All proceeds to benefit the American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women Movement. $65. 3pm-5pm. Kapalua Spa, Lobby (100 Bay Dr., Lahaina); 808-665-8282, goredsoiree.eventbrite.com.

SALUTING OUR SOLDIERS – Judy’s tap and jazz dancers are landing on the MACC stage with an attitude of gratitude. Ranging from age three to senior citizen, the troop shows their appreciation our troops via tap. Judy’s Gang will salute the brave soldiers and veterans who have given so much to our country. This year will feature a special number with Jimmy C on drums and Al Scheck on guitar, all while the troupe taps. $14/adults, $10/seniors, students & kids six-12 years; free to kids five years & under. 7pm. Maui Arts Culture Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-244-7469, mauiarts.org.

SATURDAY, FEB. 2 MAGICAL STRINGS CONCERT – Inspired by their journeys to Ireland, Philip and Pam Boulding will reveal their latest compositions and newer music in a Magical Strings concert.

They’ve performed throughout the U.S., Canada, Ireland and Japan, toured and recorded with Dan Fogelberg and recorded 18 albums on four labels. Inspired by the music of Keola Beamer, Philip developed a style of slack-key music for the Celtic harp. Philip and Pam also design and build Celtic harps, run the School of Magical Strings and host the Magic Hill Summer Harp Camp and Summer Fairy School in the Northwest. There will also be a harp workshop for all who are interested prior to the concert from 1pm to 3pm. $15-$20. 4pm. St. John’s Church (8992 Kula Hwy.); 253-857-3716, magicalstrings.com.

TUESDAY, TUES SD DA AY AY Y,, F FEB. E .5 EB

SUNDAY, FEB. 3 SUPER BOWL – This Sunday the San Francisco 49ers play the Baltimore Raare vens in the Super Bowl. Not invited to any game day house parties? Here are ns a few spots with Super Bowl specials! Sharky’s: Chili dogs, coleslaw, beans 30 and rice. Live music and dancing before and after the game. $20 kids/ $30 R adults. (41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei); 808-874-5115. Amigos: HAPPY HOUR s: all day for game day! (1215 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-9952. Captain Jacks: ck Watch the game on 13 HDTVs, enjoy $2.50 Bud light, $3 Budweiser Black 8 Crown and $3 Beck’s Sapphire. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988

PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 6

RUN & WALK FOR WHALES – Pacific Whale Foundation’s annual Run & Walk For the Whales takes place this Saturday. Select from a 5K run or walk, 10K run or walk, and half marathon run. There’s also a 2K race for kids. The Run and Walk for the Whales is PWF’s fundraiser for the marine education programs provided to schoolchildren on Maui. Check-in on race day begins at 5:30am at the Makena Beach & Golf Resort. The start times are 6:30am for the Half Marathon, 7am for the 10K, 7:30am for the 5K and 8am for the Keiki Fun Run. Register online or by phone before Jan. 30, registration will occur day of from then on. $20-$45. Makena Beach & Golf Resort (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-249-8811, pacificwhale.org.

FREE PANCAKES! – National Pancake Day returns to raise funds for Kapi‘olani Medical Center. For the eighth consecutive year, IHOP restaurants in Hawaii will offer each guest a FREE short stack of their famous buttermilk pancakes on this glorious day. For every short stack of buttermilk pancakes served on National Pancake Da IHOP guests are encouraged to make a voluntary contribution to the Kapi‘olani Day, Chil Children’s Miracle Network. Guests visiting IHOP anytime now through Feb. 5 can also make a Miracle Balloon donation of $5 or more and receive a $5 OFF discount toward their next visit, through Feb. 24, 2013. 7am-5pm. IHOP, Maui Mall (70 E. Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-4000, IHOPPancakeDay.com.

PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA BY BROKENSPHERE

SOUL-SEARCHING QUESTION – This Wednesday, the always interesting and informative Seabury Hall Philosophy Club will host a symposium in their First Wednesday series of debates. This month’s question: What is Soul? A panel of philosophers, religious leaders and scientists will discuss the existence of the soul from a philosophical, scientific and Biblical point of view. Dare to discuss some of life’s most difficult yet enlightening topics.

Free. 7pm. Seabury Hall, A‘ali‘ikuhonua Creative Arts Center (480 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808-572-7235, seaburyhall.org.

KARIN FROST – Maui Economic Development Board’s innovation series presents a conversation with Karin Frost, founder and chief design officer of ERGObaby Carrier Inc. With a BA in French and Danish, her dream of designing clothes eventually earned her a masters in design. Parenting magazine’s 20th anniversary issue named her ERGObaby carrier one of the top 20 products in the last 20 years. In 2010, Frost agreed to sell her company to Compass Management Group, but continues to work as the chief design officer. Free. 5:30pm-7:30pm. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku) 808-875-2336, cari@medb.org, medb.org.

JANUARY 31, 2013 17

the 2013 20 3

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DEADLINE: FEBRUARY 15 TH PUBLISHES: FEBRUARY 21ST To reserve space contact: Brad at 808-283-3260 or brad@mauitime.com Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com PHOTOGRAPHY BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

18 JANUARY 31, 2013

Film

Zombie Love ‘Warm Bodies’ isn’t your typical brain-eating picture

BY BARRY WURST II

Warm Bodies ★★★★★

Rated PG-13 / 97 Min.

W

hen two young lovers meet for the first time in most romantic comedies, they typically bump into one another in some cutesy, contrived way. I’m thinking of Tom Hanks slamming into Elisabeth Perkins in Big, Jon Stewart saving Gillian Anderson from a falling bookcase in Playing By Heart or, possibly the most ridiculous, Matthew McConaughey rescuing Jennifer Lopez from an out of control dumpster in The Wedding Planner. Most of these scenes are pretty forced and actually kind of violent.

But here’s one I haven’t seen before: an armed freedom fighter (Teresa Palmer) is blasting away at zombies in a postapocalyptic world, when one of them, later identified as “R” (and played by Nicholas Hoult), falls madly in love with her. There’s just something about the way she brandished that shotgun and blew the heads off his zombie buddies that had him at hello.

This isn’t the first zombie love story, as fans of bad cinema may recall the high school romance, My Boyfriend’s Back, from 20 years back. Warm Bodies is being released by Summit Entertainment, the studio that gave us the Twilight movies, which can’t be a coincidence, as this is another girl-meets-ghoul tale. Yet, while the Twilight films won’t age well over time, due to how absurdly serious they take themselves, Warm Bodies is a unique horror/comedy and a good one at that.

The opening scenes establish a world where humans are at war with the undead, as we hear R’s narration while he literally shuffles his way through his “life.” Immediately, we see that R is unlike most zombies, as his inner thoughts are hopeful, observant and hilarious but he’s stuck in a body that only allows for grunting zombie-speak, slow movement and bloodlust. He’s already longing to change before he meets the love of his life, whose father, played by John Malkovich, leads the endless war against hordes of zombies.

Warm Bodies is refreshingly different and uniquely cheerful for a zombie movie, though it aims to be this year’s

Zombieland and isn’t in the same caliber. Whereas other zombie comedies, like Love at first bite the woefully little seen Fido, create a careful balance of scares and laughs, this one doesn’t juggle contrasting tones as much as abruptly change moods every fifteen minutes. Since the story constantly alternates being a love story, horror satire, futuristic cautionary tale and suspense thriller, it’s never as frightening or funny as it could be. It works better than it should, because the performances and direction are strong, but it falls short of the classic status it aims for.

Hoult gives a witty physical performance that always puts the audience in his corner, even when the character is quite disgusting and Palmer is appealingly plucky as the object of his affection. Despite the PG-13 rating, this can get quite gruesome, making it an iffy date movie.

While efficiently laugh and gasp inducing, it has nothing on Ghostbusters or An

American Werewolf in London, still the modern day kings of mixing hip humor with terrifying imagery.

As directed by Jonathan Levine, who recently made the great 50/50, the effects and landscape of the zombie-infected war zone are vivid and expertly produced.

In fact, this may wind up being a better zombies vs. the world movie than Brad Pitt’s upcoming World War Z. The soundtrack is especially strong, with great tunes by Jimmy Cliff and Bob Dylan perfectly utilized. The climactic scenes fall short as action sequences but still build to a conclusion that’s quite surprising for this genre. I’m honestly sick of zombie movies, but this is worth seeing just because it’s so amusingly different. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1633f

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT FAST FORWARD WITH DJ KURT

MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $5 BEFORE 11PM - $10 AFTER

THURSDAY JANUARY 31ST REGGAE THURSDAY

KABOUM! DJ IRIE DOLE

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM $5 COVER

REGGAE + DANCE HALL + ISLAND VIBES

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 1ST

THE FIRST MAKAWAO PERFORMANCE

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM $8 COVER

TRUE STORYSPECIAL GUEST AMI FROM FRP

“The legendary co-founder of The Doors, keyboardist and member of Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Ray Manzarek and the critically acclaimed slide/blues guitarist. Roy Rogers, have put their artistic minds together and created a captivating new concert experience.” Sacramento 365

FEBRUARY 8 • Maui

SHOW STARTS AT 9PM $10 COVER

BIG HAWAIIAN ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

HOT BOX SESH THE BIRTH OF REGUB:

REGGAE AND DUBSTEP // ALYSSA MC GUIRE AND NICEBOY

HHB + KALISA + ANDREA & MICHEAL + DJ KAMIKAZE AND YEAH BOI HOSTED BY MAUI NATIVE CHISA ON THE MIC

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 3RD

MANAO RADIO UPCOUNTRY SUNDAYS

IAO THEATER | Doors: 7:00PM Show: 8:00PM Online information, WWW.LAZARBEAR.COM OR CALL 808-896-4845 tickets & Gold Circle

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 2ND

KEEPING THE

MUSIC LIVE

MAUI: www.lazarbear.com (GoldCircle) and Wailuku - Request Music, Kihei - Lava Java; Lahaina - West Side Vibes

BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW

SHOW STARTS AT 2PM $7 DONATION

BLUEGRASS AND GYPSY //

STEVE SARGENTI + DOROTHY BETZ AND LES ADAM MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

JANUARY 31, 2013 19

20 JANUARY 31, 2013

Film

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY JENNA SCHAMBER M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

Bullet to the Head opens this week KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: Every day until 4pm)

Argo-R-THU 7:35.

Django Unchained-R-THU 12:20, 3:40, 7:00.

FRI-SAT 12:20, 3:40, 7:00, 10:25. SUN-WED 12:20, 3:40, 7:00.

Les Miserables-PG13-THU 12:30, 3:45, 7:20.

FRI-SAT 12:30, 3:45, 7:20, 10:35. SUN-WED 12:30, 3:45, 7:20.

Mama-R-THU 10:45, 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45.

FRI-SAT 10:45, 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45, 10:00.

SUN-WED 10:45, 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45.

Movie 43-R-THU 11:40, 2:15, 4:50, 7:25. FRISAT 11:40, 2:15, 4:50, 7:25, 10:00. SUN-WED 11:40, 2:15, 4:50, 7:25.

Parental Guidance-PG-THU 10:45, 1:00, 3:10, 5:20. FRI-WED 11:10, 1:25.

Sisterakas-NR-FRI-SAT 11:50, 2:15, 4:40, 7:05, 9:30. SUN-WED 11:50, 2:15, 4:40, 7:05.

The Hobbit-PG13-THU 12:10, 3:35, 7:00. FRISAT 3:35, 7:00, 10:25. SUN-WED 3:35, 7:00.

Wreck-It Ralph-PG-THU 10:00.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees:

NEW THIS WEEK

famous siblings as brutal bounty hunters who take down witches for fun and profit. 88 min.

BULLET TO THE HEAD - R - Crime/ Thriller - Sylvester Stallone stars in this story of a hit man and detective who team up to find someone. 91 min.

A HAUNTED HOUSE - R - Comedy - When

SISTERAKAS - NR - Comedy - This Filipino

a guy and girl move into a haunted house, hilarity ensues. 95 min.

THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY - PG-13 - Fantasy - Some Hobbit teams

film is about two half-siblings who grew up in remarkably different environments. 110 min.

up with a few dwarves to reclaim some treasure from a dragon. 169 min.

WARM BODIES - PG-13 - Comedy - Zombie falls in love with zombie-hunter in this quirky take on a very tired genre. See this week’s film critique. 97 min.

THE IMPOSSIBLE - PG-13 - Drama - Story of a

NOW PLAYING BROKEN CITY - R - Crime/Drama - An ex-

family caught in the 2004 Asian tsunami. 107 min.

THE LAST STAND - R - Action/Foolishness - A Mexican drug cartel leader heads for the border, where former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Johnny Knoxville are standing in his way. 107 min.

cop takes revenge on a crooked mayor who betrays him. Starring Mark Wahlberg and Russell Crowe. 109 min.

LES MISERABLES - PG-13 - Drama/Musical - Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe star in this epic musical taking place in the French Revolution. 158 min.

DJANGO UNCHAINED - R - Action, Drama Quentin Tarantino gives us Jamie Foxx as a slaveturned-bounty hunter trying to rescue his wife from a Mississippi plantation owner. 141 min.

LIFE OF PI - PG - Adventure - A young man survives a shipwreck only to find himself trapped in a lifeboat with a Bengal tiger. 127 min.

GANGSTER SQUAD - R - Crime/Drama -

Sean Penn and Ryan Gosling star in this look at how the LAPD fought East Coast organized crime in the 1940s and ‘50s. Think LA Confidential, but based on a true story. 113 min.

HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS

- R - Fantasy/Horror - This slightly reworked take on the Brothers Grimm fairy tale finds the

A Haunted House-R-THU (2:15, 4:45), 7:25, 9:40. FRI (11:45, 4:35), 9:40. SAT-SUN (11:45), 4:35, 9:40. MON-WED (4:35), 9:40.

Broken City-R-THU (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:25. FRI (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:25. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:15, 7:00, 9:25. MON-WED (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:25.

Bullet to the Head-R-FRI (11:55, 2:15, 4:45), 7:25, 9:45. SAT-SUN (11:55, 2:15), 4:45, 7:25, 9:45. MON-WED (2:15, 4:45), 7:25, 9:45.

Gangster Squad-R-THU (1:50, 4:35), 7:10, 9:55. FRI (1:50), 7:10. SAT-SUN (1:50), 7:10.

MON-WED (1:50), 7:10.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters-PG13-THU (4:20), 9:05. FRI (11:35, 4:20), 9:05. SAT-SUN (11:35), 4:20, 9:05. MON-WED (4:20), 9:05.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D-PG13THU (1:55, 2:25, 4:50), 6:45, 7:15, 9:35. FRI (12:05, 1:55, 2:25, 4:50), 6:45, 7:15, 9:35. SATSUN (12:05, 1:55, 2:25), 4:50, 6:45, 7:15, 9:35.

MON-WED (1:55, 2:25, 4:50), 6:45, 7:15, 9:35.

Jack Reacher-PG13-THU (3:00), 9:45.

Life of Pi-PG-THU-WED (2:45).

Life of Pi 3D-PG-THU (5:45), 8:45. FRI (11:50, 5:45), 8:45. SAT-SUN (11:50), 5:45, 8:45. MONWED (5:45), 8:45.

Parker-R-THU (2:10, 5:05), 8:15. FRI (11:30, 2:10, 5:05), 8:15. SAT-SUN (11:30, 2:10), 5:05, 8:15. MON-WED (2:10, 5:05), 8:15.

Silver Linings Playbook-R-THU (1:40, 4:25), 7:05, 9:50. FRI (1:40, 4:25), 7:05, 9:50. SATSUN (1:40), 4:25, 7:05, 9:50. MON-WED (1:40,

Billy Crystal and Bette Midler look after the grand kids after their parents take off on a work trip. 105 min.

PARKER - R - Crime/Thriller - Jason

Statham stars as–surprise!–a badass thief who seeks revenge on his double-crossing former crew. 118 min.

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK - R - Drama/

Comedy - Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper star in this look at what happens when a former teacher moves back in with his parents after a stint in a mental institution. 122 min.

ZERO DARK THIRTY - R - Action/Drama -

The story of the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden. 120 min.

4:25), 7:05, 9:50.

The Impossible-PG13-THU (1:35, 4:10), 6:50, 9:30. FRI (1:35, 4:10), 6:50, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:35), 4:10, 6:50, 9:30. MON-WED (1:35, 4:10), 6:50, 9:30.

The Last Stand-R-THU (2:30, 4:55), 7:30, 10:00. FRI (12:00, 2:30, 4:55), 7:30, 10:00.

SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:30), 4:55, 7:30, 10:00.

MON-WED (2:30, 4:55), 7:30, 10:00.

This Is 40-R-THU 6:30.

Warm Bodies-PG13-FRI (11:40, 2:05, 4:30), 6:55, 9:20. SAT-SUN (11:40, 2:05), 4:30, 6:55, 9:20. MON-WED (2:05, 4:30), 6:55, 9:20.

Zero Dark Thirty-R-THU (1:30, 5:00), 8:30. FRI (1:30, 5:00), 8:30. SAT-SUN (1:30), 5:00, 8:30.

MON-WED (1:30, 5:00), 8:30.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day)

Bullet to the Head-R-FRI (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:15, 7:00, 9:30. MONWED (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:30.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters-PG13-THU (2:00, 4:30), 7:05, 9:35. FRI (2:00, 4:30), 7:05, 9:35. SAT-SUN (2:00), 4:30, 7:05, 9:35. MONWED (2:00, 4:30), 7:05, 9:35.

Mama-R-THU (1:30, 4:00), 6:45, 9:15.

The Last Stand-R-THU (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:30.

Warm Bodies-PG13-FRI (1:30, 4:00), 6:45, 9:15. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:00, 6:45, 9:15. MONWED (1:30, 4:00), 6:45, 9:15.

LAST CHANCE ARGO - R - Thriller - A CIA guy concocts a

risky plan to save six Americans during the 1979 Iranian Revolution. Ben Affleck stars and directs. 120 min.

JACK REACHER - PG-13 - Action - Tom Cruise plays detective Jack Reacher from Lee Childs’ popular series. 130 min.

THIS IS 40 - R - Comedy - Consider this a sequel to Judd Apatow’s Knocked Up. 134 min.

WRECK-IT RALPH - PG - Animation - A video game villain wants to be a hero, but creates much havoc in the process. 108 min.

MAMA - PG-13 - Horror - A couple raises young nieces who were left alone in the forest for five years. Which is great and all, except maybe they weren’t alone at all... 100 min.

MOVIE 43 - R - Comedy - A bunch of short

films tell the story of kids trying to find the most banned film online. 90 min.

PARENTAL GUIDANCE - PG - Comedy -

Last chance to see Jack Reacher

JANUARY 31, 2013 21

Calendar

THURSDAY MARK JOHNSTONE

1/31

& LENNY CASTELLANOS BLUES DUO

FRIDAY

MISS MEAGHAN OWENS

6:30-8:30PM 6:30 8:30PM • NO COVER!

2/1

6:30pM-8:30pM No Cover

SUPER FREAK FRIDAY CELEBRATING THE LIFE OF RICK JAMES WITH

DJ KAMIKAZE & DJ BIG MIKE 9:30PM • $10 COVER

SATURDAY

2/2

2/3

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY

7PM-10PM • NO COVER

TUESDAY

TACO TUESDAY

2/5

WITH ERIC DOTTERER & FRIENDS

SPECIALS ON TACOS & MEXICAN BEER

6:30PM-8:3OPM • NO COVER

$

YDAY 3PM-7PM HAPPY HOUR EVER $ $

2 BUD LIGHT • 3 WELLS • 5 JAGER

1 TACO SPECIAL

$

THURS

EVERYDAY 3-5PM • 10-11PM

LIVE MUSIC @10PM

RAMPAGE DJ EMIT 2.1 2.2 THE VAMP

1.31

FRIDAY

@10PM

SAT

@9PM

SUPER BOWL

MON

2.4

PARTY!!

2.6

SUN

2.3

LIVE MUSIC @10PM

GOMEGA

POOL LEAGUE WED

MAGICIAN MARK BENNICK - Daily (except Sun & Mon). See This Week’s Picks. Gold Circle front row seats are $89; General seating is $79 for adults; $55 for teens; children 12 years and under are $39; ages five and under are free when accompanied by an adult. 4:45pm Kupanaha Stage, Ka’anapali Beach Hotel, (2525 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-0128; kupanaha.com

DANNY ESTOCADO - Thu, Jan 31. A special guest performance from the Hawaiian Cowboy, Danny Estocado, who presently entertains in Las Vegas. Danny continues to bring a variety of music from Hawaiian to Country to Rock-N-Roll to the Las Vegas industry. He continues to fly back to the Hawaiian Islands several times per year to perform for special events. No cover. 7pm Steel Horse Saloon, (1234 Lower Main St., Wailuku); 808-243-2206; facebook.com/cheersbikerbar

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM

2/4

BIG SHOWS

MYSTIC ISLAND FESTIVAL - Thu, Jan 31 through Sun, Feb 3. See This Week’s Picks. $10$210. 1pm VFW Hall, (1136 Uluniu Rd., Kihei); mysticislandfestival.com

& BLOODY MARY BAR OPEN FOR BREAKFAST AT 7AM

MONDAY

BY JENNA SCHAMBER

THE SATURDAY SAINTS

9:30PM 9 30PM • NO COVER

SUNDAY

Da Kine Calendar

LIVE MUSIC @9PM

TUES

2.5

MAUI BLUES CO.

MAUI’S COLDEST BEER • FOOD TIL MIDNIGHT OPEN 11AM - 1:30AM 1279 S. KIHEI RD. • 874.9299 22 JANUARY 31, 2013

TOUBAB KREWE - Thu, Jan 31. See This Week’s Picks. $28 in advance, $38 on show day. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN-CHILD?” COMEDY SHOW - Fri, Feb 1. Come see Maui’s most talked about stand up comedian, Chino LaForge, do a full one-hour set live before he leaves on his Guam tour in April/May. Hosted by Sunny Dennis and featuring special guests, Inanc Ino and King Martin. $5 cover.

Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com TRUE STORY - Fri, Feb 1. Join roots/hip hop band True Story on the dance floor for their first Makawao performance with special guest Ami from Freeradicals Projekt. $8 cover. 9:30pm Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; casanovamaui.com MAGICAL STRINGS CONCERT - Sat, Feb 2. See This Week’s Picks. $15-$20. 4pm St. John’s Church, (8992 Kula Hwy.); 253-8573716; magicalstrings.com JUDY’S GANG IN SOS – SALUTE OUR SOLDIERS - Sat, Feb 2. Judy’s Gang will honor the brave soldiers and veterans who have given so much to our country in a “Salute Our Soldiers” performance. Judy’s tap and jazz dancers will be saluting these great Americans with song and dance numbers from the “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boys” days through the “Danger Zone” of today’s conflicts with a special salute to Vietnam veterans. $14/adults, $10/seniors, students & kids 6-12 years; free to kids 5 years & under. 7pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org MAUI STYLE’Z - Sat, Feb 2. Big Hawaiian entertainment presents Maui Style’z (the birth of Regub: reggae and dubstep) and special guests Alyssa McGuire, Niceboy, HHB, Kalisa, Andrea & Micheal, DJ Kamikaze and Yeah Boi. Hosted by Maui native Chisa on the mic. $10 cover. 9pm Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; casanovamaui.com BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW - Sun, Feb 3. Manao radio Upcountry Sundays features bluegrass and gypsy music from Brown Chicken Brown Cow and special guests Steve Sargenti, Dorothy Betz and Les Adam. $7 donation. 2pm Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-5720220; casanovamaui.com

FRIDAY TOWN PARTIES

WAILUKU FIRST FRIDAY - See This Week’s Picks. Free. 6pm-9pm Wailuku Town, (Market Street), mauifridays.com/wailuku FINGER FRIDAY - On the First Friday of every month join Exotic Eye Tattoo for Finger Friday! Select finger tattoos are only $25. To get in on this awesome deal you must pre-book your appointment at (808) 359-1060 or exoticeyetattoo@ gmail.com. 10am-7pm Exotic Eye Tattoo, (1995 Main St., Wailuku); exoticeyetattoo.com FIRST FRIDAY SOURCE FUNDRAISER - Support the Interactive Art Gallery at Source by donating $5-10 at the door which will get you access to Vinyasa Flo with RachelG set to downtempo beats

by WillovSeraphim 6:30-7:15pm, chair massages

by Summer Sweetser, Napkin Art Show on display, Electro Luminesence Breakdancing performance by Summer 8pm and dancing to the funky soul beats of Matt Brunn. They are accepting contributions for the Napkin Art Show so drop off your napkin art doodles to Body Alive Yoga at anytime or after 10:30am on Feb 1st. Body Alive Yoga and Movement Studio, (1995 W. Main St., #20, Wailuku); 808-359-1060; bodyaliveyoga@gmail.com; bodyaliveyoga.com

STAGE

MAUI FRINGE FESTIVAL - Thu, Jan 31: Pre-opening night Gala with pupus and cocktails featuring author announcements, Adaptations Dance Theater and the Ultraviolets 6:30pm. Fri, Feb 1: They Call Me Q! by Qurrat Ann Kadwani 6:30pm, Celestial Mechanics by Matthew Gurewitsch 7:45pm, Joy and Jack by Rick Scheideman 8:30pm, Turner & Hooch 2: Murder at the Wackenheim Manor by Julia Wackenheim 9:15pm. Sat, Feb 2: John Brown’s Body by Will Hausman 2pm, Sharyn Stone 4pm, Joy and Jack 4:15pm, Adaptations Dance Theater 6pm, How to Survive Insanity: An Experiment by Pat Masumoto 6:15pm, Virginia Sandell 7pm, They Call Me Q! 7:15pm, Chino LaForge 8:30pm, Turner & Hooch 2: Murder at the Wackenheim Manor 8:45pm, “SHOUT!” Teaser 9:30pm and Celestial Mechanics 9:35pm. Sun, Feb 3: They Call Me Q! 2pm, Turner & Hooch 2: Murder at the Wackenheim Manor 3:30pm, Danielle Bergen 4:15pm, Celestial Mechanics 4:30pm, Joy and Jack 6pm, John Brown’s Body 7pm and Awards Presentation & Closing Night Party 9pm. Tickets for individual performances are available at the door for $10. For all festival passes call or visit website. Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; mauionstage.com MAN OF LA MANCHA - Fri, Feb 1 through Sun, Feb 3. See This Week’s Picks. Fri & Sat 7:30pm.

Sun 2pm. Special Super Bowl Sunday ticket price: $15. Adults $25, seniors $22, students $18. MAPA’s Steppingstone Playhouse, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-244-8760; mauiacademy.org

FOODIE

BENEFIT DINNER AT VINEYARD FOOD CO. - Fri, Feb 1 and Sat, Feb 2. This week’s benefit dinner features a local style-inspired menu from Chef Ralph A. Giles which includes a starter, salad, entree, dessert and beverage of choice. Adults over the age of 21 can BYOB or wine, no corkage fee. Live music from Brett Moore. $25 per person (15% of all proceeds will be donated to IMUA Family Services). Reservations recommended. 5:30pm Vineyard Food Company, (1951 E. Vineyard St., Wailuku); 808-243-3663; chefg@maui.net

FREE PANCAKES - Tue, Feb 5. See This Week’s Picks. 7am-5pm IHOP, Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-4000; IHOPPancakeDay.com THREE’S TURNS 3 DINNER - Tue, Feb 5 through Sat, Feb 9. Three’s is celebrating their 3rd anniversary all week with a 3-course meal for $30. Call for details. 5-10pm Three’s Bar & Grill, (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com

TICKETS ON SALE

GIORDANO DANCE CHICAGO - Thu, Feb 7. Don’t miss this dynamic, high-energy performance from original jazz dance company, Giordano Dance Chicago. $12, $32, $45. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org LANAI FILM FESTIVAL - Fri, Feb 8 through Sun, Feb 10. Four Seasons Resorts Lanai, with HawaiiOnTv.com and JazzAlleyTV.com present the 3rd Lanai Film Festival featuring award winning and premiere Polynesian films and live music with Paula Fuga, Kevin Brown and Sonny Lim. Free. See website for details.

Call 808-565-4000 for Kamaaina room rates.

Free admission. The Lodge at Koele, (Lanai); lanaifilmfestival.com MARGARET CHO - Fri, Feb 8. Comedienne Margaret Cho returns to Maui on the 2013 leg of her “Mother” tour. Her comedy blends hilarious glimpses of her Korean-American family life with ironic and infinitely funny commentary on political and social issues. $27, $37, $47. 7:30pm Castle Theater, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org MANZAREK-ROGERS BAND - Fri, Feb 8. Lazar Bear presents Legendary Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek and Slide Blues Guitar Wiz Roy Rogers on tour as The Manzarek-Rogers Band Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; lazarbearproductions.com/concert_events/manzarekrogers2012-hawaii.html INSIDE THE FOREST: W.S. MERWIN, ULALIA WOODSIDE & GENE ARGEL - Sun, Feb 10. In this special performance at Maui Arts & Cultural Center, W.S. Merwin, Poet Laureate and Pulitzer prize winner, will read his own work about the evolution of the forest and sustainable ideas. Ulalia Woodside, kumu hula and land planner/ manager will chant Kau Kali‘a: A Memory Appears. And Maui pianist and composer Gene Argel will premiere a composition created for the forest as inspiration and teacher. $20. 3pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org JO KOY - Sun, Feb 10. Best known from his regular appearances on Chelsea Lately and Comedy Central, Jo Koy takes the stage at MACC with his explosive stage presence, insightful jokes and family inspired humor. $25, $35, $45. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org ERIN SMITH - Fri, Feb 15. Come see 4-time “Best Female Musician on Maui” (voted by our readers 2009-2012), Erin Smith, reveal material from her new solo album “Best Disaster.” Smith’s new album was produced in Montreal by the same team behind Arcade Fire’s Grammy award winning album “Funeral.” Tickets to this limited event will sell out fast, call now to reserve your space! A 21+ event. Dinner & show begin at 6pm and show begins at 7:30pm. $30 show only, $60 dinner & show. 6pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

1/31

2/1

2/2

2/3

2/4-2/6

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Envy Nightclub 9pm; $10 cover

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

Digiluxe with DJ Kurt 10pm; no cover

Get Your Sexy On with DJ La Rage 10pm; no cover

BLUE LAGOON Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

KISS KISS: A VALENTINES BURLESQUE EXTRAVAGANZA - Fri, Feb 15. A steamy, lovethemed evening of live burlesque entertainment from Kit Kat Club Cabaret, The Ultraviolets Burlesque and special guests from Honolulu, The Cherry Blossom Cabaret. This is an adult burlesque show, so it’s 18-years and older. Concessions will be sold. Doors at 7pm. Dress to impress, arrive early for the best seats, and be prepared to be entertained. $20-40. 7:30pm Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; kisskissburlesque.eventbrite.com ISLAND GIRL PIN UPS GO RED GARDEN PARTY - Sat, Feb 16. Help support Island Girl Pin Ups at the Go Red Garden Party on behalf of The American Heart Association - Healthy Hearts Healthy Art! Find more info at website. $55 donation. 11am-3pm The Sugarman Estate Makena (No parking at estate please. Parking and pick up is at Mulligan’s On The Blue), 323-350-7420; GoRedTicket.eventbrite.com

EVENTS THURSDAY, JAN 31

Super Bowl Party on the Big Screen, 12pm DJ Playwfire Ono, 10pm

MON - DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm / TUE - Toxic w/ DJ TRVR, 10pm / WED - Red Carpet Movie Night: Heathers, 7:30pm, DJ J-Zen, 10pm

MON - Open Mic w/ MT, 10pm-close; no cover

Ladies Nite w/ DJ 10pm; no cover

Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover

Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Dave Carroll, 7pm / TUE - Jordan Cuddy, 7pm / WED - Justin Phillips, 7pm

Kaboom!! Reggae Thursdays w/ DJ Irie Dole & guest DJs 9:30pm; $5 cover

True Story w/ special guest Ami from FRP 9:30pm; $8 cover

Maui Style’z w/ guests DJ Kamikaze and Yeah Boi 9pm; $10 cover

Brown Chicken Brown Cow w/ Steve Sargenti, Dorothy Betz & Les Adam, 2pm; $7

WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: Fast Forward with DJ Kurt, 10pm; $5 before 11pm, $10 after

Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos Blues Duo 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Super Freak Friday w/ DJ Kamikaze & DJ Big Mike, 9:30pm; $10

The Saturday Saints 9:30pm, no cover

Super Bowl Sunday & Bloody Mary Bar 7am; no cover

MON - Open Mic & Jam, 7pm-10pm; no cover TUE - Eric Dotterer & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm / TUE - Jazz, 7:30-10pm WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Rampage 10pm; no cover

Live Music 9pm; no cover

The Vamp 9pm; no cover

Gina Martinelli Band 6pm; no cover

MON - Gomega, 10pm / TUE - Pool League, 10pm / WED - Jukebox Party 10pm (no cover)

Quiz Night 7pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Jordan, 6pm / Dance Party, 10pm; no cover

Randall Rospond 6-9pm; no cover

Live DJ 9pm-12am; no cover

Live DJ 9pm-12am; no cover

Avi Ronen & Indio 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Gene Argel & Shiro Mori / TUE - Wilsin & Friends / WED - Far West (6-9pm; no cover)

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Pa’a Mana 9pm-close; no cover

Super Bowl Party, 12pm Karaoke Industry, 8pm

MON - Karaoke, 8pm / TUE - Music Videos w/ DJ Daizy, 9pm WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm

MON - Ryan Robinson, 10pm / TUE - Dance Party, 10pm / WED - Live Music, 10pm (all sets no cover)

Evan Shulman 6-9pm; no cover

Center, (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 808-270-7088; mauioceancenter.com

SATURDAY, FEB 2 RUN AND WALK FOR THE WHALES - See This Week’s Picks. Makena Beach & Golf Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-249-8811 ext. 2; flpregister.com/21; run@pacificwhale.org PSYCHIC/INTUITIVE/HEALTH FAIR - A fair featuring Maui’s best Angel and Tarot readers, Aura photography with interpretive readings of what the colors represent, Fine Art Show by local artists, and more! Bookstore is open daily with diverse Well Being Services available. 11am-4pm Lotus Heart Books, Gift & Art at The Temple of Peace, (575 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-5220 SIERRA CLUB ANNUAL MEETING - The public is invited to come and hear what the Sierra Club has been doing to preserve Maui’s clean water, ocean access, and quality of life. A free picnic style lunch will be served and side dishes are welcome. Free. 11am-3pm Kaunoa Senior Center, (401 Alakapa Pl., Sprecklesville); 808-270-7308; MauiSierraClub.org

HAWAIIAN MUSIC SERIES - This month’s concert will feature Joshua Kahula, an accomplished musician who has performed with Hawaiian artists such as Keali’i Reichel and maintains leadership of local group “Nuff Sedd.” Chairs are limited and blankets, mats, and low beach chairs are welcome. Free. 6-7:30pm Baldwin Home Lawn, (120 Dickenson Street, Lahaina); 808- 661-3262; lahainarestoration.org/baldwin.html

SPARKLING GO RED SOIREE - See This Week’s Picks. $65. 3-5pm Kapalua Spa, Lobby, (100 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-665-8282; goredsoiree.eventbrite.com

FRIDAY, FEB 1

PASSION 4 FASHION BOUTIQUE PROM EVENT & FASHION SHOW - Watch models walk the runway in the latest prom fashion. Beauty experts from PLUSH will show the latest trends in hair and makeup. Prom Tuxedos provided by Elly’s Formal Wear. Free. 6:30pm Passion 4 Fashion Boutique, (335 Keawe St. #204 Lahaina Gateway); 808-667-7432; passion4fashionboutique. com; info@passion4fashionboutique.com

FINS & FLIPPERS TOUR - Take a closer look at sharks and sea turtles on this exclusive behind-the-scenes encounter. Tours are guided by a knowledgeable Ocean Naturalist and include the chance to observe supervised feeds at Hammerhead Harbor and Turtle Lagoon. $10 plus admission per guest. Space is limited, call for reservations. This tour is also available on Tuesdays. 11:30am Maui Ocean

WED - Karaoke w/ Sista Deva, 8pm-12:30am (all sets no cover)

Salsa Night 9pm; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL

Sunrize Saturdaze with DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

DJ Jamn J 10pm; no cover

MAUI OPEN STUDIOS OPENING CELEBRATION AND PREVIEW EXHIBITION - See This Week’s Picks. Free. 6-9pm Maui Tropical Plantation, (1670 Honoapiilani Hwy., Wailuku); 808244-7643; MauiOpenStudios.com

HOLOKAI CLUB - This free kid’s club is an

organized arts and crafts event created for families with children in kindergarten through 5th grade. February’s craft is flower pens. Free.

10am-12pm Queen Kaahumanu Center, (275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com R.E.A.D. TO A DOG - The Hawaii Canines for Independence will present the Reading Educational Assistance Dogs (R.E.A.D.) program for keiki in grades 1-6 which is said to improve children’s reading and communication skills. Free. Pre-registration is required. Parents should contact the Library to sign up their children for 10-minute reading sessions. 3-4pm Tutoring Room at Makawao Public Library, (1159 Makawao Ave.); 808-5738785; librarieshawaii.org

SUNDAY, FEB 3 WHALE PHOTO SAFARI CRUISE - Join professional wildlife photographer David Fleetham on a cruise, featuring hands-on training on capturing whale images with state-of-the-art digital cameras. This at-sea workshop takes place on PCF’s high-tech, ultra-stable raft Ocean Freedom. This trip is ideal for beginning and advanced photographers. $99.95 plus taxes/fees.

Includes dry bag for your camera, plus refreshments. Pacific Whale Foundation’s Lahaina Ocean Store, (612 Front St.); 808-249-8811 ext. 1; pacficwhalefoundation.org

MONDAY, FEB 4 WHALE WATCHING - The Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary will provide a whale watching info booth at the Aquarium’s Harbor Plaza throughout whale season. Join expert volunteers at the Sanctuary’s booth as they share facts about Humpbacks and help you with spotting whales and interpreting their behaviors. 9am-1pm Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 808-270-7000; hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov

TUESDAY, FEB 5 MAUI MATSURI MEETING - Maui Matsuri cochairs invite the general public to attend a meet-

ing to discuss the upcoming Maui Matsuri. Those interested in volunteering for the kickoff event on May 3 and/or the 2-day event scheduled on May 10-11 are encouraged to attend. Food and craft vendors are also asked to attend to get information about booths. For general information, call the hotline at 808-283-9999. For information about food and craft booths, call Priscilla at 808-2834253. 7pm Wailuku Hongwanji Mission social hall, (1828 Vineyard St., Wailuku) ULTIMATE WHALEWATCH - Learn firsthand what it is like to be a whale researcher on a personally guided group tour. This is a special opportunity to interact with Pacific Whale Foundation’s researchers and marine biologists.

For info and reservations, please call. 7:3011:30am Pacific Whale Foundation’s Ma’alaea Ocean Store, (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808-280-3163; pacificwhalestore.org PFLAG-MAUI MEETING - Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (“PFLAG”) meet on the first Tues evening of every month. PFLAG’s purpose is education, advocacy and support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered persons of all ages. PFLAG-Maui was chartered in 2012 and has been meeting monthly in Lahaina, but seeks to serve the island of Maui. All are welcome to attend. Email for more information. Free. 7pm Trinity Episcopal Church by the Sea, (100 Kulanihakoi St., Kihei); PFLAGMaui@gmail.com

WEDNESDAY, FEB 6 A CONVERSATION WITH KARIN FROST See This Week’s Picks. 5-7pm Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-875-2336; mauionstage.com; cari@medb.org SEABURY HALL PHILOSOPHY CLUB SYMPOSIUM - The Seabury Hall Philosophy Club will be hosting a Symposium entitled First Wednesday: What is Soul? A panel of philosophers, religious leaders, and scientists will discuss the existence of the soul from a philosophical, scientific, and biblical point of view. Free. 7pm Seabury Hall A’aliikuhonua Creative Arts Center, (480 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808-572-0807

JANUARY 31, 2013 23

VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI!

1819 S. KIHEI RD. • 891.2414 11AM-2AM DAILY • DINNER ‘TIL 10PM

FRIDAY

BOSS LADY ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS SATURDAY

SEXY SOUTH $3 U CALL ITS GUEST DJ’S AND SEXY GOGO’S

10PM • NO COVER

SATURDAY LIVE SALSA MUSIC W/

NETO & BARBARA 7:30-10PM FOLLOWED BY

LATIN NIGHT W/ DJ

JAMN J & DJ MOY 10PM

SUNDAY

Satterday Saints

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!

THE ONLY NINER BAR ON THE SOUTH SIDE! DRINK SPECIALS ALL DAY

TUESDAY TACO TUESDAYS: 4-10PM $2.50

Tacos, Corona, Dos XX & Pacificos

WEDNESDAY LIVE ROCK N ROLL MUSIC W/

GINA MARTINELLI 7:30-10PM

24 JANUARY 31, 2013

VIP PACKAGES AVAILABLE! BACKSTAGE ACCESS MEET & GREET, PRIVATE VIP BOOTH AND MORE! CALL 808-667-2578

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

1/31

2/1

2/2

2/3

2/4-2/6

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

JAY’S PLACE

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE Farzad & Mike Madden / WED - Tracy Stiles (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

Live Music 10pm-close; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

KAHALE’S

WED - Karaoke

WED - Live Music, 10pm-close; no cover

Kawika 7pm; no cover

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

John Grover 7pm; no cover

MON - That’s What I’m Talking About TUE - Da Ha-y-ans / WED - Herb Anderson (all sets 7pm; no cover)

1810 6:30-8:30; no cover

Danyel Alana & Co. 9-11pm; no cover

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm

MON - Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (both sets no cover)

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON - Trivia Night, 7pm; no cover WED - Ladies Night, 10pm; no cover

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

Free Karaoke

LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629

Free Pool

Danny Escotado 8pm; no cover

Blues Jam hosted by Maui Blues Co., 7:30-10pm

Acoustic Unplugged (signup 7pm) 7:30-10pm

MON-WED - Free Pool

Free Pool

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

TUE - Johnny Ringo, 8-10pm; no cover

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S

Howard Ahia 6-9pm; no cover

Allure - DJ LX, DJC & Jay.P 10pm; $10

MON - S.I.N. w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; no cover WED - Krazy Karaoke, 10:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Murray Thorne, 6:30-8:30pm; no cover / Willie K, 7-9pm; dinner & show $65 per person

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Tom Conway 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers w/ bagpiper Allison Jackson 6:30-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Joyce & Gord, 6:30pm / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm WED - Willie K, 7-9pm; $65 dinner & show

OCEANS BAR & GRILL

Live Salsa Music w/ Neito & Barbara, 7:30-10pm

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - The Shops at Wailea hosts their weekly arts and entertainment series, featuring a performance in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-toshop specials. Free. 6:30-8pm The Shops at Wailea, Lower Courtyard, (3750 Wailea Alanui); 808-897-6770 ext. 2; theshopsatwailea. com / @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm; Fri, Howard Ahia 5:30-8:30pm. (1450 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0937.

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Wed, Justin Phillips 7-9:30pm; Thu, Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; Fri, Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7-9:30pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; Mon, Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jordan Cuddy 7-9:30pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988.

COOL CAT CAFE - Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm; Thu, Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Emily Joyce 7:30-10pm; Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz 7:3010pm. (Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Daily, Hula Performance 6:30pm; Every Mon & Wed, Brian 3-5pm; Wed, Daniel & Kahala 6-8:30pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Sun, Fausto 3-5pm; Sun, Damon & Tim 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-2900.

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. - Fri, Danyel Alana & Friends 6-9pm; Sat, Thunder & Lightning 6-9pm; Sun, Avi Ronen & Indio 6-9pm; Mon, Gene Argel & Shiro Mori 6-9pm; Tue, Wilsin & Friends 6-9pm; Wed, Far West 6-9pm; Thu, Randall Rospond 6-9pm. (744 Front Street, Lahaina); 808-669-6425.

HARD ROCK CAFE - Fri, Evan Shulman 6-9pm.

(900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400.

HULA GRILL - Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm; Daily, Hula Grill Happy Hour 3-5pm; Tue, Damon & Ron 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku & Peter DeAquino 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am; Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Kulewa 6:30pm; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika, Roy & Albert 6:30pm; Sat, Ron, Ikaika & Damon 1:30pm; Sat, Damon/ Ron/Keali’i 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian Trio 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P); 808-667-6636.

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7pm; Fri, Guest Performer 7pm; Fri, Tracy Stiles 7pm; Every Sun, Mon & Tue, Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm. (3350 L. Honoapiilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai); 808-667-0787.

KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Danyel Alana & Co. 9-11pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm;

Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm.

(730 Front St.); 808-661-0700.

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm.

(843 Wainee St., Unit 1 & 2); 808-667-6655.

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali); 808-661-4495.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr.); 808-667-1200.

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Wed, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1); 808-661-0808.

MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina); 808-669-6400.

OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon, Ukulele/ Lounge 4-7pm; Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Lahaina); 808-667-3200.

PAILOLO BAR & GRILL - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Ka’i Ala Dr., Lahaina); 808-667-3200.

PARADISE GRILL - Wed, Victoria Holman 6-9pm; Thu, Harry Troupe 6-9pm; Fri, Scotty Rotten 6-9pm; Sat, Kory Kukahiku 6-9pm; Sun, Deeson (Hawaiian Music) 6-9pm; Mon, Marvin Taraga 6-9pm; Tue, Johnny Ringo 6-9pm. (2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700.

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Brother Damien’s Ocean Beach Party 8-10pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Wed, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600.

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, JD on the Rocks 5-8pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm.

(658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881.

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-669-8889.

RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Every Sun & Sat, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm. (5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy.); 808-669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Mon, The Jonah Project Live 8pm; Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night: Heathers 7:30pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011.

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? CALENDAR LISTINGS

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PARADISE GRILL (MELLOS) Mellos Bar, 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

PARADISE GRILL 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

Roots Night 10pm-1am; no cover

Dance Party w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Dance Party w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Open Mic w/ Local Artists 10pm-1am; no cover

MON - Whiskey Pimps / TUE - Industry Night w/ DJ Ron / WED - Johnny Ringo (all 10pm)

Harry Troupe 6-9pm; no cover

Salsa Dance Party w/ Rafael, 10pm, $5 cover

Kory Kukahiku 6-9pm; no cover

Hawaiian Music w/ Deeson, 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Marvin Taraga, 6-9pm / TUE - Johnny Ringo, 6-9pm / WED - Victoria Holman 6-9pm

RB STEAKHOUSE

WED - Open Mic Night, 9:30pm; no cover

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina - 669-8889

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Island Thursday w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ Salvo 10pm-close; no cover

Robin & Ron 9pm-midnight; no cover

Natalie 9pm-midnight; no cover

Deja Vu 8:30pm; no cover

Kekona Ohana 8:30pm; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

R.S. SHARKY’S 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. (300 Maalaea Rd. #1M); 808-243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone with Marcus Johnson 7-10pm; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm.

(555 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-879-2224.

DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Live music 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd. #314); 808-874-9299.

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Sebrina Barron 6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Emily Joice 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E); 808-891-8010.

JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Piikea Ave., Kihei); 808-875-9464.

KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm; Thu, Island favorites with Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Girls Night Out with Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian and Friends 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Music by Rama 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860.

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Alejandro 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret & Wilson 7-9pm; Thu, Tom Cherry 4-6pm; Thu, Tom Cherry and Mike Finkiewicz 7-9pm; Fri, Wolf 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:308:30pm; Fri, Alika 7-9pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Tarvin Makia 7-9pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit B-201); 808-891-2322.

MONSOON INDIA - Sat, Cambria Moss &

Danny Estacado 7pm; no cover

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

TUE - Reggae Tuesday with DJ Salvo, 10pm WED - Ladies Night with DJ Decka, 10pm

Super Bowl Party w/ Free BBQ & Raffle, 12pm

MON - Mahalo Mondays WED - 80’s Night, 8pm, no cover MON - Kings of Spade, 10:30pm / TUE Power Up Comedy Open Mic, 8:30pm; no cover / WED - Halemanu & The Hui, 7pm

Ah-Tim 4-6pm; no cover Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Jamie Gallo Band 9pm; $4

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

All Ages Karaoke 7pm; no cover Maui Blues Company 9pm; no cover

Super Bowl Party w/ live music & BBQ, 11am

TUE - Trivia Night, 7pm / WED - Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks; 7pm; no cover

Innavision 10pm; $5 cover

Louise Lambert 6:30pm; no cover

WED - Blues with The House Shakers, 8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Twisted Thursdays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Forbidden Fridays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

MON - Free Karaoke, 9pm / TUE - Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED - Singles’ Night w/ X-Klusive Sounds Productions, 10pm (All sets no cover)

Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, The Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. (760 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-4555.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Tue, Brenton Keith and his Bag O’ Tricks 7-8pm; Thu, Murray Thorne 5:30-6:30pm; Thu, Willie K 7-9pm; Fri, Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Tom Conway 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers w/ Bagpiper Allison Jackson 6:30-9:30pm; Mon, Joyce and Gord 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Joel Katz 7-9pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177.

R.S. SHARKY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT - Thu, Karaoke 7pm; Wed, Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks 7pm. (41 E. Lipoa St., Suite 15, Kihei); 808-874-5115.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm; Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm. (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sat, Vince Esquire & Kaulana 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, Live Music Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112); 808-875-2910.

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. (Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Sun, Mon & Wed, Hawaiian Music 5-8pm; Sun, Louise Lambert 6:30-9pm; Every Tue, Thu, Fri & Sat, Acoustic with Chad Kaya 5-8pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:30-9:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI

Blues & Co. 7:30-10pm. (810 Kokomo Rd., Suite 186, Haiku); 808-575-2629.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Thu, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999.

NORTHSHORE CAFE - Fri, Makana 7-9pm; Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm.

(824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku); 808-575-2770.

PAIA BAY CAFE - Sun, Hawaiian Steel Guitar w/ Joel Katz 9-11am. (43 Hana Hwy.); 808-579-3111.

CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:308pm; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm. (1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului); 808-877-0073.

MAIN STREET BISTRO - Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom 6:30-9:30pm. (2051 Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-6816.

WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Kylee & Leopold Duo 4-6pm. (28 N. Market St., Wailuku)

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323.

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON Tue, Taco Tuesday with Eric Dotterer & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos Blues Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm; Fri, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085.

FLATBREAD COMPANY - Sun, Randall Rospond 5:30-8pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808579-8989.

HANA HOU CAFE - Tue, Hipnautical 6-9pm.

(810 Haiku Rd., Haiku); 808-575-2661.

LILIKOI GRILL RESTAURANT & WINE BAR - Sat, Acoustic Unplugged (signup by 7pm) 7:30-10pm; Fri, Blues Jam hosted by Maui

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Horoscope

Sign Language

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) It’s okay to have your server decide between equally delicious choices for you. However, if you try that during the upcoming conjunction of your dreams and reality, you’ll be horribly disappointed. Your fairy godmother stands poised to shove whatever you want right into your life, but you’ve got to be clear on just what that is. If she hears, “Well that sounds good, but oh, that sounds so good, too!” she’s going to say, “Screw this,” and leave you to your indecision. I’d rather see you get your wish granted, especially when it’s so easy: Make one. Not two, or one and a half, or a subset of five. Make one wish.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) In Nepal they call him yeti; in British Columbia, he’s sasquatch. Legends and sightings from different regions around the world of our supposedly long lost, elusive primate cousin share remarkably consistent traits, as well as a similar lack of hard evidence. Is he just an image in our fertile collective unconscious?

Perhaps he exists. I’m sure you hope so, since you’ve come across some giant, hard-to-explain footprints of your own archetypal dream: the indescribable (surprisingly non-hokey) force of true love. Don’t bother trying to prove unequivocally that it exists. Like Bigfoot, putting it in a cage and showing it off would probably kill it. Illusion or not, it’s there for you to enjoy it. Will you really waste time trying to pin it to a board?

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Don’t run from what you know, clutching the shreds of your innocence to your chest like a tattered dress.

Knowledge can be scary on its own; compound that with the understandable fear of becoming bitter and cynical beyond all hope of redemption and I can see why you’re sprinting back the way you came. All I can tell you is this simple truth—whatever you know, there’s exponentially more that you don’t, including a myriad of hopeful exceptions to whatever depressing “rule” you’ve learned. Though I can’t give you the specifics, I can tell you this: eligibility for those exceptions is simple, if not easy: live an exceptional life.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Oh, crap. Valentine’s Day approaches again. The dread is building already. Whether you’re facing a day of loveless loneliness or trying to meet unreasonable romantic expectations with your current thang, VD sucks worse than, well, venereal disease. My advice? Rebel. Vow to spend the day alone, no matter who wants to do what with you. End the dirty, corporate-controlled cycle this year, forever. Make it your day to eat a romantic dinner for two by yourself, or stay home and cuddle in front of the TV if you must—with your dog or favorite teddy bear, not a real person who’ll infuse every moment with meaning that simply isn’t there.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) You’d be amazed at how quickly, for the rest of us, the world flips. Suddenly our strengths are our weaknesses and—if we have the presence of mind to try—our weaknesses play as strengths. You don’t notice this so much, because of your innate duality. If one thing doesn’t work, you just try another as a matter of course. Don’t underestimate the universe’s wily nature, though. Even your astounding versatility can be used against you, like this week, when someone is counting on you to be just one thing. Quick! Temporarily hide any tendency towards twinhood. We already know what you can accomplish with the full range of your powers at hand. Now show us how amazing just one of you can be.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) As you left your place, you set the alarm, released the vicious guard dogs, and locked every lock between your living room and the street. Now, a few drinks and good times later, you can’t remember the alarm code or the secret command that calms the snarling Dobermans, and your keys are lost. All pretty embarrassing, considering who you brought home to see your digs (among other things). Luckily, your new buddy will gleefully help you pick the locks, quell the hounds, and explain the situation to suspicious cops. Lesson to learn: Next time,

you might not have an ally so devoted to helping you fell your own walls. Put fewer barriers between you and the world or you could end up locking someone out you don’t want out—like yourself.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions from page 4

1: C–Pacific Princess.

2: D–State Senator Mike Gabbard.

3: E–2007.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) You can’t keep a good Leo down. Still the universe has been kicking you in the stomach often enough to come close. Resist rolling into a protective ball and waiting until spring. It doesn’t become you; you’re the goddamn Lion! You’re right, though. Just roaring won’t scare off your assailants. Probably nothing you do is going to make them leave you alone. Still, you don’t have to take it lying down. Tough times?

Toughen up. Get rugged. If you start now, I predict not only undentable washboard abs by spring, but enough muscle to roar your loudest—and mean it.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) You’re more impressively adept at avoiding collisions and obstacles than Frogger. I’m amazed at how undaunted you are by any road, no matter how chaotically traffic-filled. But it seems the key to your secret power is constant motion. What happens when you want to stop crossing roads? How do you kill that habitual inertia so you can hang out on this side of the street for a while? Oh, jeez, sorry. I don’t have the answers to those questions. But since they deal with your actual desires, I suspect it’s time to learn a new trick. What happens when you want to stop moving? You’re about to find out.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) A quiet little stream can change its entire landscape. In fact, in some ways it’s more effective than a hurricane or tsunami—when people hear those coming, they board up windows or simply skip town. Your happy, supposedly innocuous rivulet is doing much to erode some key barriers, without anyone noticing (or preventing it). Keep it up and you might achieve something like the breakthrough you’ve been pushing for. Be careful, though. Breaching walls that hold you in (or out) could be highly disruptive—getting back on the course you pursued before might never be an option again.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Relearning innocence is probably one of the toughest things you will ever do. Nevertheless you can’t give up.

Consciously coming back to, and choosing to live in, that place of childlike wonder, openness, and trust could just be your greatest triumph this decade. That by itself may be its own reward, but learning to be receptive after so much hurt, despite the risks, will also make you richer (on some level) than Bill Gates. Trust created from knowledge and choice is powerful, certainly more so than that born from naïveté. I can’t help you conquer your cynicism, but I can tell you we’re all gleefully anticipating (and rooting for) the moment you do.

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SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) You’re more amazing than a bevy of veteran circus performers, more brilliant than a whole lab full of physicists, and more gorgeous than a fashion spread’s worth of models. But this isn’t about you. The key to popularity this week (and most weeks, actually) is only partially about how cool you are. The other side of that coin is what you bring out in other people; how they see themselves reflected in your eyes. Don’t count on who you are being enough to keep people interested—what will keep them signed on for the long haul is who you let them be.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Don’t get too used to playing the role of seeker/ student, even though it’s been your primary one recently. Despite your admirable humility, your stash of juicy wisdom has attracted many supplicants. As much as they might appear to be disrupting your own education, don’t ignore them or turn them away, just because you’re in learning mode. You don’t have to abandon your devoted quest for knowledge in order to dish out some of that homegrown insight. This week, the best way to learn things you never knew is to teach the things you’ve known forever.

SPIKE’S SONIC PLAYGROUND - FRIDAY’S 4-7PM

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

JANUARY 31, 2013 29

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NOTICES ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us.

If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH IS OFFERING FREE HIV TESTING & COUNSELING (STD/HEP C as well). Mon: Kihei Community Centerโ 11-2 pm Tues: Wailuku Health Centerโ all day Wed: *Paia Community Centerโ 12-3 pm ( 1st, 3rd, (5th)week): *Haiku Community Centerโ 12-3pm (2nd, 4th week) Thur: *Lahaina Comprehensive Health Centerโ 9-12pm Fri: (non-furlough Fridays) Wailuku Health Centerโ appt. *=starting 4/1/10 Results in 2 weeks. For more info CALL 984-2129.

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JANUARY 31, 2013 31

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