14.48 The Obama Doctrine, May 19, 2011, Volume 14, Issue 48, MauiTime

MAY 19, 2011 ✚ VOLUME 14 ✚ ISSUE 48 ✚ FREE

.com

OBAMA

DOCTRINE

THE LEFT IS

celebrating THE DEATH OF

OSAMA BIN LADEN. BUT WHAT IF IT HAD BEEN BUSH WHO W HO PULLED THE TRIGGER? pg..10 pg

by

by TED RALL

p.

7

EH BRAH! RED SEEING

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TALKING

STORY WITH CHEF

CAMERON LEWARK

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MAY 19, 2011

Contents VOLUME 14

✚

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What would have been your final words to Osama bin Laden?

Editor: Jacob Shafer (808) 283-1308 / jacob@mauitime.com @jacobshafer on Twitter Nice cave.

Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Is it not meningitis? (With apologies to Louisa May Alcott) Proofreader: Dina Wilson Intern: Anna Such Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Ben Lowenthal, Avery Monsen, Ted Rall, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Where you bin?

Art Director: Chris Skiles chris@mauitime.com / lucky11studios.com May I use your bathroom?

Graphic Designers: Mykal Aubry, Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com See you in hell.

General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Nice burka.

Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com Oopsy.

Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Nice porn stash.

ISSUE 48

4 NEWS & VIEWS Coconut Wireless talks homeless initiatives and Kamehameha lawsuits.

Hawaiian Telcom dials up a profit in By the Numbers. The government defends drunk drivers in News of the Weird.

Spin Cycle plays Republican chair Jonah Ka’auwai’s greatest hits. Quizunderstood asks about parrot fish and Mufi quotes.

Eh Brah! sees red. Open Letters needs a leg down. Birther rhetoric impregnates Reader Feedback.

10 FEATURE STORY Why are liberals celebrating the death of bin Laden, and what does the assassination say about Obama’s foreign policy? Ted Rall weighs in.

13 FOOD & DRINK Jen Russo talks story with Spago Chef Cameron Lewark and does pau hana at Ruth’s Chris.

17 A&E Anu Yagi gets the scoop on BarryFest 2011, and Album of the Week gets tyrannical.

18 FILM CRITIQUE Barry Wurst II says the new Pirates of the Caribbean is yo-so-so, but Bridesmaids is worth a trip down the aisle.

19 Film Capsules/Listings

20 THIS WEEK’S PICKS Kirtan, hippie tunes and Wayans Brothers oh my!

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2010 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved.

Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

22 Da Kine Calendar 23 Grid

28 BACK PAGES Kula Kid puts words in her body’s mouth. Sign Language tells Gemini to bridge the gap.

30 Classified 31 Mind, Body & Spirit

ON THE COVER: Obama photo by Ari Levinson Chef photo by Sean Michael Hower Design by Chris Skiles

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MAY 19, 2011

3

By the

BY JACOB SHAFER

NEWS&VIEWS

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

NUMBERS Coconut Wireless $5.5million $23.3million 4

Profit reported by Hawaiian Telcom in the first quarter of 2011

Losses reported by Hawaiian Telcom in the first quarter of 2010

Number of states that have legalized same-sex civil unions; this week, Delaware joined Illinois, New Jersey and Hawaii

Homeless, Then Zero?

Make no mistake: Gov. Abercrombie doesn’t think he can end homelessness in 90 days. But he did unveil a 90-day homeless-eradication plan this week along with cabinet member Marc Alexander—formerly of the Honolulu Roman Catholic Diocese—who was tapped specifically to tackle the issue.

At a news conference, Alexander called the plan—which outlines a series of goals but allocates no additional funds—“another step” in a “long, long journey.” The timing, however, suggests the motive might be more short term: in November, world leaders will converge on Oahu for the annual meeting of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation.

An effort is already underway to plant palm trees and bury power lines along Nimitz Highway between the airport and Waikiki, and sweeping the homeless off the streets and into shelters might be another phase of the beautification process. Last month, Lt. Gov. Brian Schatz all but admitted the endeavor is motivated by APEC, saying Hawaii has a “moral obligation to solve this problem” but adding the meeting offers “a handy deadline.”

To be fair, Abercrombie has tooted the homeless horn since before taking office. And whatever the motive, the goal is admirable—in Honolulu and statewide. But, as the Star-Advertiser noted, Abercrombie’s plan doesn’t address longrange objectives like affordable housing or job training, bolstering the perception that it’s less a bold initiative and more a quickfix prescription.

Preferential Mistreatment?

Giving preference on cultural or racial grounds—for anything—will always be controversial. Whether it’s legal is another question. That question wasn’t answered this week when the U.S. Supreme Court

6 41

Number of state constitutions that ban same-sex marriage; Hawaii’s was the first, in 1998

4

MAY 19, 2011

MAUIFEED.COM

Rising oil costs aren’t just impacting the price at the pump—this week Matson Navigation announced plans to hike its fuel surcharge to a recordhigh 47.5 percent for...

Team Six.” That would be the name of the military unit responsible for killing Osama bin Laden. So what does Disney want with them? Film and merchandising rights, presumably—and it looks like the Defense Department won’t fight it, since that would require publicly acknowledging a group of super-secret assassins.

Meanwhile, in a story curiously ignored by the mainstream but widely reported elsewhere, former FCC Commissioner Meredith Attwell Baker left her

Abercrombie’s homeless plan doesn’t address long-range objectives like affordable housing or job training, bolstering the perception that it’s less a bold initiative and more a quick-fix prescription. anonymity, the suit will die.

It isn’t the first time Kamehameha Schools has had to defend its policy—which heavily favors students of Native Hawaiian ancestry—and it almost certainly won’t be the last. Court rulings may be binding, but they don’t end controversy.

Media Matters A couple of national items to stir the anti-corporate-media pot: First, TIME reported this week that Disney has moved to trademark the term “SEAL

The Blog Roll

Number of states that have legalized same-sex marriage

Sources: Hawaiian Telcom Holdco Inc., National Conference of State Legislatures

refused to hear an appeal brought by four students challenging Kamehameha Schools’ admissions policy, but it was at least temporarily put to rest.

The four students asked to remain anonymous, arguing that disclosing their identities could subject them to threats, harassment or worse. Judges in Hawaii and later the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals rejected the request, and the Supreme Court’s decision ended the debate. In a statement, the students’ lawyers said without the option of

NEWS BRIEFS

government post to become a lobbyist for recently merged NBC-Comcast shortly after approving a merger between...

NBC and Comcast. The revolving door, I-scratch-your-corrupt-back-you-scratchmine phenomenon has become so commonplace in Washington (and locally, for that matter) that it’s easy to read those words, sigh and go about your business.

Which is part of the problem. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1448c

What’s new at MauiTime’s blogs?

MAUIDISH.COM

Aloha Mixed Plate now serves ono breakfast from 8-10:30am daily. Highlights include waffles, omelettes, kalua pork hash, taro bread and French toast.

And the experience is even better when you...

MAUIVENTS.COM

New show just announced: Spin Doctors (you know, the “Two Princes” guys) on Saturday, August 20 at the Royal Lahaina Resort. For info and tickets, go to...

MAY 19, 2011

5

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

NEWS&VIEWS

chuck@mauitime.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD LAST WORDS In March, jurors in New Orleans convicted Isaiah Doyle of a 2005 murder and were listening to evidence in the penalty phase of the trial when Doyle decided to take the witness stand (as defendants sometimes do in a desperate attempt to avoid the death penalty). However, Doyle said to the jurors, “If I had an AK-47, I’d kill every last one of y’all with no remorse.” The jury recommended lethal injection.

DRUNK DRIVING: ‘A WAY OF LIFE’ +EAWE &ERNANDEZ Boys All-Around Champion

Logan Tsukiyama Girls All-Around Champion

Jonathan You Team All-Around Champion

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The Montana House of Representatives passed a tough drunk-driving bill in March to combat the state’s high DUI rate, but it came over the objection of Rep. Alan Hale (and later, Sen. Jonathan Windy Boy). Hale, who owns a bar in Basin, Montana, complained that tough DUI laws “are destroying small businesses” and “destroying a way of life that has been in Montana for years and years.” (Until 2005, drinking while driving was common and legal outside of towns as long as the driver wasn’t drunk.) Furthermore, Hale said, people need to drive home after they drink. “They are not going to hitchhike.” Sen. Windy Boy said such laws put the legislature on “the path of criminalizing everyone in Montana.”

BAD TRIP Firefighters in Gilbert, Arizona, rescued Eugene Gimzelberg, 32, in March after he had climbed down a 40-foot sewer hole—naked. Gimzelberg said he had smoked PCP and marijuana and consumed hallucinogenic mushrooms. He was hospitalized in critical condition.

THE CAR SIDE (1) Shelly Waddell, 36, was cited by police in February in Waterville, Maine, after “a couple of” drivers reported seeing two children riding on the roof of the van she was driving early one morning. Waddell told police she was in fact delivering newspapers to customers, but denied that the kids were on the roof. (2) At the Niceville, Florida, Christmas parade on December 4, a municipal employee was arrested when he stepped up onto a city truck that

was part of the parade and challenged the driver (who apparently was a colleague).

The employee accused the driver of “taking [my] overtime” hours for the previous two years and ordered him out of the truck so he could “whip your ass.” (The employee was charged with disorderly intoxication.)

UPPING THE PANTY Louis “Shovelhead” Garrett is an artist, a mannequin collector and a quilter in the eastern Missouri town of Louisiana, with a specialty in sewing quilts from women’s underwear, according to a report in the Hannibal Courier-Post. After showing his latest quilt at a women’s luncheon in Hannibal in March, he told the newspaper of his high standards: “No polyester. I don’t want those cheap, dollar-store, not-sexy, farm-girl panties.

I want classy—silk or nylon.”

DIRTY IRONY Arifinito (who goes by one name), a member of the Indonesian parliament, resigned in April after a news photographer in the gallery zoomed in on the tablet computer he was watching to capture him surfing Internet pornography sites.

Arifinito’s conservative Islamic Prosperous Justice Party campaigned for a tough antipornography bill in 2008.

WE HIT YOU NOT Marissa Mark, 28, was indicted in March in Allentown, Pennsylvania, for hiring a hit man in 2006 via the then-active website HitManForHire.com, agreeing to pay $37,000 to have a California woman killed (though prosecutors have not revealed the motive). Mark allegedly made traceable payments through PayPal (which in recent years has righteously refused to process transactions involving online gambling or the WikiLeaks document dumps). The hit-man site was run by an Egyptian immigrant, who told the Las Vegas Sun in 2008 that he would never contract for murder but sought to make money by double-crossing clients and alerting (for a fee) the intended victims. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1448n

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MAY 19, 2011

- Man to his friend at the Kahului Safeway

NEWS&VIEWS

EH BRAH!

SPINcycle Last weekend at the Kauai Beach Resort, state Republicans reelected party chair Jonah Ka‘auwai—whose first term was punctuated by religious screeds, infighting and ultimately an embarrassing trouncing in the November elections. As we wait to see if Ka‘auwai can top himself, here are some of his best quotes so far...

“Political to parties exist ey on on spend their md that is campaigns andid.” what we

“Duke [Aiona] will win because the Church has been behind him the entire time op erating in the POWER and the AUTHORITY of the NAME OF JE SUS!”

g to ng diin nd on po l resp 10, in an e-mai 20 , 11 ho r w , be m an ya - Dece ist Eric Ry publican activ aders ea attacks by Re r GOP le he ot d an ai rough claimed Ka‘auw th ” nd ou gr e into th “ran the party anagement financial mism

- September 1, 20 10, in an e-mail sen nt to Christian gro oups

ting t shoo ever o n e r a n “If we ars we will ot the n t s m e ’ I h for t sun. e h t m I?” it to one, a y make z a r only c being r 1, afte 4, 201 arty chair 1 y a -M at) ted p reelec ulu Civil Be l o (Hon

“I am resol resolute, lute I am unwave unwavering... [A] Republican hurricane is coming.”

- May 17, 2009, after being elected party chair (AP)

To the blondish hey-dude kind of guy driving behind me: I saw you flailing your arms because I didn’t run through the red light. Too effing bad! Some of us stick to the rules of the road. I also saw you mouthing off about me to the little kid in the back seat while you had to wait, what, one extra minute? Then you flipped me off when you passed me, again right in front of your kid. Here’s a thought: wake up earlier so you’re not late getting to school (if that’s even where you were going) and above all try to be a good example for your child.

Your driving is bad, but your parenting skills really need a tune up.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

QUIZunderstood 1. Fill in the blank in the following quote, from University of Florida scientist Gustav Paulay: “If these __________ were alive today, Hawaii would be a very different place.”

2. On May 20, 1907, author Jack London arrived in Hawaii on a selfdesigned yacht after a month-long voyage from San Francisco. What was the name of the yacht?

BONUS: What was Jack London’s given name?

3. The parrot fish pictured at left is being: A. Attacked B. Mated C. Cleaned

4. What did former Honolulu Mayor Mufi Hannemann call evidence of his “strong personality” in the May 16 Star-Advertiser?

See answers, page 29 PHOTO BY MILA ZINKOVA

MAY 19, 2011

7

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NEWS&VIEWS

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MAY 19, 2011

I, your friendly neighborhood Art Director, am in need of some insane design talent. Do you master Indesign? Do you rock the socks off Photoshop? Do you take Illustrator out to dinner and then skip out on the bill? If soâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;then email me. I could use your muscle.

Love, Your MauiTime Art Director Send your resume and 3 design samples to: chris@mauitime.com WALK-INS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. MUST KNOW INDESIGN WELL.

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t generally pick up your paper because I know in advance your opinions and they are boring. But I was sucked in briefly the other day by the Birther/Bin Laden story [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Enemy Territory,â&#x20AC;? May 5] and my suspicions were confirmed. You stated, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Osama bin Laden and 9/11 were real; the notion that Barrack Obama was born on foreign soil is not.â&#x20AC;? My comments are as follows: 9/11 was real terrorism carried out by insiders of the American intelligence community including Cheney, Bush and Rumsfeld; Osama bin Laden was a CIA asset created to aid in the deception and has been dead since 2001; Obama is

the agenda of the neo-conservative right-wing machine even as you throw bones to your liberal readership.

All Birthed Out (via post) Ed. Note: Thanks for writing, All Birthed Out. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be sure to forward your message to the higher-ups in the neoconservative right-wing machine.

Thank you for reporting on the state legislatureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision to nix tax breaks for filmmakers who shoot on-location in Hawaii [Coconut Wireless, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lights,

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yourn ewspaper is little more than a mouthpiece for the phony, leftwing, fascist, New World Order...â&#x20AC;? a naturalized Indonesian citizen whose real name is Barry Soetoro; the current theatre of having captured and killed bin Laden is an excuse to further clamp down on our freedoms at home and expand the wars abroad; and your newspaper is little more than a mouthpiece for the phony, left-wing, Democratic Party, fascist, NWO and as such should continue to enjoy the blessing of the powers that be.

Steven R. Smith (via e-mail) Ed. Note: Thanks for writing, Steven.

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be sure to forward your message to the higher-ups in the fascist left-wing New World Order.

For someone who thinks the birthers are crazy and should be dismissed out of hand, you sure have dedicated a lot of ink to them. Seems to me youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re perpetuating

Camera...Inaction!â&#x20AC;?, May 12]. I am saddened to learn that Hawaii is not doing more to lure the film industry to our state. Areas that have given Hollywood a run for its moneyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;including Vancouver, North Carolina and Floridaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;all offer tax incentives. Yes, Hawaii is beautiful and has great weather year round, but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not enough. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just as easy to set a film in a more fiscally desirable location, add a volcano in the background in post production and call it Hawaii. Stella can get her groove back in Hawaii or Jamaica and the studios will go wherever financial conditions are supportive to the industry. It is short-sighted of our lawmakers not to support legislation that would bring additional jobs to Hawaii, showcase its beauty, increase tourism and support the local economy.

Marya Mayer, Pukalani (via e-mail)

Sendyo ur FEEDBACK

to the editor via e-mail (editor@mauitime.com), or post (Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Inbox, MauiTime, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793), or check us out on Twitter (twitter.com/mauitime) and Facebook (facebook.com/mauitime).

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reďŹ&#x201A;ect those of MauiTime.

MAY 19, 2011

9

OBAMA

DOCTRINE THE LEFT IS

celebrating

THE T HE DEATH OF

OSAMA BIN LADEN. BUT B UT WHAT IF IT HAD BEEN BUSH

WHO PULLED THE

TRIGGER? by y TED RALL photo by y ARI LEVINSON

10 MAY 19, 2011

PRESIDENT OBAMA MURDERED OSAMA BIN LADEN. And I’m surprised the left has been so supportive—not of the end result, but of the way it was carried out.

Imagine if the killing had gone down the same exact way, but under Bush. Armed commandos invade a foreign country, storm into a suburban neighborhood, blow a hole in a house and shoot an unarmed man in front of his 12-year-old daughter. The guy is a murder suspect. Mass murder. But there’s no attempt to arrest him or bring him to justice. They spirit his bloody corpse out of the country and dump it into the ocean.

Osama bin Laden was suspected of ordering one of the most horrific crimes of the decade. He might have been taken alive.

Yet Obama’s commandos killed him. A big part of the puzzle—the key to the truth, who might have led us to other people responsible for 9/11—is gone.

Liberals would be appalled if this had happened four years ago. They would have protested Bush’s violations of international law and basic human rights. They would have complained about killing the Al Qaeda leader before questioning him about possible terrorist plots. They would have demanded investigations.

But this happened under Obama. Which means that even liberal lawyers who ought to (and probably do) know better are going along. At a panel discussion at the Justice Institute at Pace Law School, University of Houston law professor Jordan Paust asserted: “You can [legally] use military force without consent in foreign countries.”

“At some point a sovereign state [such as Pakistan] that’s harboring an international fugitive loses the right to assert sovereignty,” added Robert Van Lierop.

Paust and Van Lierop are, respectively,

a leading opponent of torture at Guantanamo and a former UN ambassador known for his activism on climate change.

Both are “liberal.”

In the U.S., conservatives and “liberals” agree: America’s military-intelligence apparatus is so fearsome that it can deploy its soldiers and agents without fear of retribution.

Might makes right.

I

n 2007, U.S. Special Forces invaded Iran from U.S.-occupied Iraq in order to kidnap Iranian border guards. It was an outrage.

In practical terms, however, there was nothing the Iranians could do about it.

The United States’ 900-pound gorilla act might go over better if we weren’t a nation that constantly prattles on and on about how civilized we are, how important it is that everyone follow the rules.

“We’re a nation of laws,” Obama recently proclaimed. “We don’t let individuals make their own decisions about how the laws operate.”

He wasn’t talking about himself. This was about PFC Bradley Manning, the soldier accused of supplying the big Defense Department data dump to WikiLeaks.

Manning has been subjected to torture including sleep deprivation and forced nudity—treatment ordered by Obama.

Truth is, the Constitution, our treaty obligations and our stacks of legal codes are worthless paper. We’re not a nation of laws. We’re a nation of gun-toting, missilelobbing, drone-flying goons.

U.S. officials do whatever they feel like and then dress up their brazenly illegal acts with perverse Orwellian propaganda. “I authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice,” Obama claimed, as if blowing away an unarmed man in a foreign country was the moral equivalent of filing an extradition request with the Pakistani government and putting him on trial before 12 unbiased jurors in a court of law.

Justice is a legal process. It is not a military assault.

When considering the legality or morality of an act it helps to consider different scenarios. What, for example, if Pakistan had military power equal to ours? The news of the raid might have begun something like this: “Pakistan has intercepted four U.S. helicopters over its airspace, forced them to land, and taken 79 ‘heavily-armed commandos’ as prisoners. According to Pakistani military officials, the incident took place about 100 miles from the border of U.S.-occupied Afghanistan. ‘They didn’t stray across the border accidentally. This was a deliberate act,’ said a Pakistani general. President Asif Ali Zardari has asked for Pakistan’s nuclear weapons infrastructure to be placed on high alert as the parliament, the Majlise-Shoora, considers whether to issue a declaration of war.”

Or let’s assume a different reimagining.

What if the United States really was a nation of laws?

Then the news might look like this: “Bipartisan demands for Congressional investigations into the assassination of alleged terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden quickly escalated into demands for presidential impeachment after reports that U.S. forces operating under orders from President Obama invaded a sovereign nation without permission to carry out what House Speaker John Boehner called ‘a mob-style hit.’ Standing at Boehner’s side, Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi decried Obama’s ‘cowboy antics’ and said she had received numerous phone calls from the relatives of 9/11 victims furious that true justice had been denied. Meanwhile, in New York, U.N. secretary-general Ban Ki-Moon moved for sanctions against the United States.”

I

n fact, no one knows whether Osama bin Laden was involved in 9/11. They suspect. They feel.

They don’t know. For what it’s worth, he denied it: “Following the latest explosions in the United States, some Americans are pointing the finger at

me, but I deny that because I have not done it,” bin Laden said in a statement released on September 16, 2001. “The United States has always accused me of these incidents which have been caused by its enemies.

Reiterating once again, I say that I have not done it, and the perpetrators have carried this out because of their own interest.”

Why should we believe him? Why not?

He admitted his responsibility for the East Africa embassy bombings in 1998.

Interestingly, the FBI never mentioned 9/11 on his “wanted” poster.

There was the famous “confession video”—but it was translated into English by the CIA, hardly an objective source.

Arabic language experts say the CIA manipulated bin Laden’s discussion of what he had watched on TV into an admission of guilt. For example, they changed bin Laden’s passive-voice discussion to active: “[the 19 hijackers] were required to go” became, in the CIA version, “we asked each of them to go to America.”

“The American translators who listened to the tapes and transcribed them apparently wrote a lot of things in that they wanted to hear but that cannot be heard on the tape no matter how many times you listen to it,” said Gernot Rotter, professor of Islamic and Arabic Studies at the Asia-Africa Institute at the University of Hamburg.

Other bin Laden communiques appear to take credit for 9/11—but there’s a possibility that he was trying to keep himself relevant for his Islamist audience.

Anyway, a confession does not prove guilt.

Police receive numerous “confessions” for high-profile crimes. They can’t just shoot everyone who confesses I’m not angry that Bin Laden is dead. Nor am I happy. I didn’t know the guy or care for his ideology. I’m angry that, without a trial or a real investigation, we will never know whether he was guilty of 9/11—or, if he was, who else was involved.

Barack Obama made sure of that. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1448a

IN THE U.S., CONSERVATIVES AND “LIBERALS” AGREE: AMERICA’S MILITARY-INTELLIGENCE APPARATUS IS SO FEARSOME THAT IT CAN DEPLOY ITS SOLDIERS AND AGENTS WITHOUT FEAR OF RETRIBUTION. MIGHT MAKES RIGHT. MAY 19, 2011 11

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12 MAY 19, 2011

FOOD & DRINK

BY JEN RUSSO jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

A Chefâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Take

PHOTOS BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

Talking story with Spagoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chef Cameron Lewark Spago 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea 874-8000; open daily 6pm-11pm Call for kamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;aina specials; reservations recommended WHAT KIND OF CREATIVE LICENSE DO YOU GET TO TAKE WITH THE DISHES AT SPAGO? HOW DIFFERENT IS MAUIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SPAGO FROM THE SPAGO LOCATIONS IN BEVERLY HILLS AND VEGAS? I have some creative range, but we like to keep our staple dishes on the menu. We change the menu nightly, based on fresh and local ingredients that come from the water or the farm. I wait to be inspired by the local produce and the fresh fish that come in that week.

I usually try to do research on particular regions of the world to give me more inspiration. Each of the individual restaurants share common dishes, but they can be very different based on available fresh product. So in Maui, we use local Hawaiian fish, which none of the other restaurants have access to.

DESCRIBE YOUR CULINARY RY TECHNIQUE. Asian food done the French way.

HOW OFTEN DO OTHER CHEFS VISIT AND DINE WITH YOU? DO CHEF LEE HEFTER FROM SPAGO BEVERLY HILLS OR SPAGO FOUNDER WOLFGANG PUCK EVER DROP IN? Wolfgang usually comes two times a year, and Chef Lee comes four times a year or every quarter. On occasion [we] see other local chefs come to dine with us.

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IT LIKE WORKING WITH CELEB CHEFS? I love to learn new ways of cooking as well as the creative thought that goes into other chefâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dishes. I am driven to study and understand different culinary techniques.

TAKE ME THROUGH YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS. My creative process is different every time. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to put into wordsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;it just happens. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tactile; I see it, touch it, smell it before I decide.

YOU LEARNED TO COOK AND MOVED UP IN THE KITCHEN IN L.A. WAS â&#x20AC;&#x153;FARM TO TABLEâ&#x20AC;? A POPULAR PHENOMENON THEN? HOW HAS IT CHANGED WHAT CHEFS DO THESE DAYS?

BUY 1 GET 1 FREE!!

BUY 1 ENTREE & 2 DRINKS, AND GET A 2ND ENTREE OF EQUAL OR LESSER VALUE, FREE

I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get to see many farms ms in L.A. It started when I became [a] chef in Maui and d started to get involved with a farmer named Michael McCoy oy [of Fresh Island Herbs].

Ever since then Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve used the mantra â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;from farm to table.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s different when you know w who is farming your produce ce and picking [it], and then serving [it] the same night.

*must buy 2 drinks *not valid with any other offers, discounts ntts or coupons *must present coupon at time of dining *not valid with kamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;aina na discount *good for dine-in only *expires 6/30/11

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WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE IN THE SPAGO WAILEA KITCHEN? The biggest challenge is satisfying every need of each guest. uest. I want to make everyone happy. Each individual has their own needs.

WHAT DO YOU DO IN YOUR FREE TIME? DO YOU EXPLORE MAUI, OR IS IT ALL WORK AND NO PLAY? Honestly I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have much free time due to work, but when I do I love to golf, paddleboard and relax at home. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen most of Maui and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of the most beautiful places on Earth.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE THINGS TO MAKE RIGHT NOW? I love to make ice cream and fresh sorbets.

DO YOU STILL DO MUCH PASTRY? Yes. I started my culinary career in the pastry department, so I have a deep understanding of preparing pastry.

WHEN YOU TEACH SERVERS ABOUT FOOD, WHAT ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS? We like to take our servers on field trips

CHEF CAMERON LEWARK

MON â&#x20AC;&#x201C; SAT 10:00AM â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:30PM SUN 10:00AM â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:00PM 7 +A@AHUMANU !VE s +AHULUI

(808) 873-9688 to local farms and fisheries so they can visually see where the product comes from.

HOW STRESSFUL IS THE ACTION IN THE KITCHEN? Admittedly it can be extremely stressful, but as I get older and more experienced the stress tends to lessen every year. â&#x2013;

Got a hot food scoop? Contact Jen Russo at 280-3286 or fax to 244-0446.

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1448d For more foodie news, visit MauiTimeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s food blog: mauidish.com

TUNE IN To 97.3 K-Rock during the A Train with Johnny A at 5:20pm every Friday for Jen Russoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tastings of the week.

MAY 19, 2011 13

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FOOD & DRINK

BY JEN RUSSO jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

PHOTOS BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

Pau Hana

Swimming through Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s watering ng holes Ruthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chris Steak House 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-8815; 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8880 LOCATION: Front Street Lahaina or the Shops at Wailea DECOR: Classic steakhouse all the way: dark carpets, red leathers, polished wood and air conditioning all insulate you from the island vibe, and ready your appetite for traditional meat and seafood dining. If it werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t for those damn ocean views you might not know you were on Maui.

GRINDS: Getting the best USDA primee is a no-brainer, and during happy hour all the appetizers are discounted. The slider er of the day is $8.95 with house-cut fries,, while the sashimi and d oysters Rockefeller are re fresh and consistentlyy amazing at $9.75.

Soups are $6.50. Thee French onion is a

WHEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S THE BEEF?: MarieAntoine CarĂŞme, recognized as one of the first celebrity chefs, said that â&#x20AC;&#x153;beef is the soul of cooking.â&#x20AC;? Born in France to penniless parents in 1784, as a boy he toiled in a chophouse and worked his way up to Chef de Cuisine to the Prince Regent after the fall of Napoleon. The founder of haute cuisine cooking is also credited with inventing the chefâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hat or toque, which chefs wear at Ruthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chris.

traditional traditi ional dark, rich beefy broth with a bready cheesy crust so hot it could melt your spoon. Salads are $6.50. The chop salad with palm also $ hearts heart and crunchy onion topping is savory sav and crisp, wrapped up in a tower towe of power.

HAPPY H AP HOUR: Daily 5-7pm.

EVENTS: On June 25 the chefs att the Lahaina location will showcasee their creativity with a five-course Nickel and Nickel wine-paired dinner that features diver scallops and kurobuta pork.

DRINK D RI SPECIALS: $5 glasses wine, $9 martinis, $7 Smirnoff of w cocktails â&#x2013; cock

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you To sshare or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1448d2 typ

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16 MAY 19, 2011

WEB EXCLUSIVE! TO READ THIS WEEK’S A&E FEATURE ABOUT BARRYFEST 2011 GO TO MAUITIME.COM OR OUR EVENTS BLOG MAUIVENTS.COM.

2011 Summer Guide IS ON THE WAY!

Call today for space reservations and color specials!

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DEADLINE: MAY 20 TH PUBLISHES: MAY 26 TH To reserve space contact: Brad at 808-283-3260 or brad@mauitime.com Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com

2 1

4 5 6 7

8 9 10

8 of 10

The Tyranny of Distance (Lookout! Records 2001).

summer sizzle.

NCE A H T! RC YOUO BE A PAR

3

TED LEO AND THE PHARMACISTS

Fairs & festivals, hikes and campouts, watersports and undersea adventures—it’s hard to imagine a place more conducive to summer fun than Maui. As the season of sun dawns, we look at the events and activities that will make

S S MI

ALBUM OF THE WEEK

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO GET IN ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING ISSUES OF THE YEAR!

Ted Leo headed many punk rock groups before he made this album. But this isn’t punk rock. Rather, The Tyranny of Distance is a collection of high-energy pop songs produced by Fugazi drummer Brendan Canty and performed by extraordinary musicians, who change hands from song to song. The album features three different drummers, all of whom pack unrelenting rhythms. And while the Pharmacists rotate throughout the album, Ted Leo’s falsetto voice and blazing guitars define the band’s sound. Leo plays like no other. “Parallel or Together?” proves it. In “Under the Hedge,” Leo weaves his brand of highenergy rock with Byrds-inspired guitar rhythms to sing about his obsession with a lover. (“Oh I’ve been sometimes under your wall/Peeping at all where I’m not welcome./I’ve seen you one time stumble and fall/But I still love you, you see?”). At times Leo’s lyrics feature too many inside jokes and references, which tend to alienate newcomers. Things slow down a bit for “The Gold Finch and the Red Oak Tree,” where the cello and acoustic guitar are reminiscent of the early Rolling Stones’ “Ruby Tuesday.”

At other times, Leo’s sound conjures up Indiana’s heartland rock with “Timorous Me” and “Squeaky Fingers.” Leo’s distinct brand of pop rock bursts with a raw energy that will pass you by if you’re not paying attention. Don’t let this one go. - Ben Lowenthal All albums reviewed are available at Maui’s only record store, Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-9315)

MAY 19, 2011 17

BY BARRY WURST II

FILM

barry@mauitime.com

Over Pirated

Yep, this wig is still itchy.

Captain Jack’s back in another needless sequel Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

★★★★★

Rated PG13/127 min.

A

fter taking on an army of skeletal pirates, defeating the Kraken and overcoming an enemy with a living calamari on his face, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is back. This time, he’s teamed up with a fellow pirate and former lover (Penelope Cruz) on a quest to find Ponce De Leon’s Fountain of Youth.

In the midst of this lively but needless fourth installment, I found myself wondering how old Uncle Walt would have felt about Mickey Mouse being supplanted by an alcoholic pirate. Sparrow is only a few benders and a can of eye-liner away from going full Charlie Sheen, but we love him anyway—in no small part because Depp still completely owns the role. But even Depp’s limitless innovation and deadpan delivery

can only carry things so far; once again he’s stuck in an over-plotted sequel crammed with too many characters.

Cruz is a sensational actress in Spanish films but has been typecast in American movies as the hot chick with the sexy accent.

That’s all she’s given here. Geoffrey Rush is back and mugs shamelessly, though at least he’s having fun. Ditto Keith Richards—who pops up again as Captain Jack’s dad—and a memorably randy Dame Judi Dench. Ian McShane adds bluster as Blackbeard the Pirate, but even his considerable presence doesn’t leave a big impression.

For about an hour, the film is adequate and intermittently exciting. But after the larger-than-life set pieces in the previous installments, all the swashbuckling feels been-there, slashed-that. Once we get to the Fountain of Youth, the screenwriters officially run out of ideas.

There are a few 3-D jolts, with swords and sea monsters leaping right at you, yet the glasses still make the screen too dark. You can definitely tell the bits that were filmed in Hawaii—after a bunch of

Marry Good

run-down looking sets, the bursts of true paradise stand out.

The first Pirates film worked because it never forgot it was a comedy. The three sequels—and particularly this one—pile on the spectacle but drown out the wackiness

and whimsy. Die-hard fans may find a bit of buried treasure, but for the rest of us it’s yo-so-so. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1448f

The traditional pre-wedding staring contest.

Girls just want to have (dirty) fun Bridesmaids

★★★★★

Rated R/124 min.

W

hen Annie (Kristin Wiig) is asked by her best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) to be her maid of honor, she assumes it will draw them closer. Instead, Annie’s insecurities about the other bridesmaids and her own life result in a chaotic march to the altar. That description may have you thinking this is another My Best Friend’s Wedding. Even worse, you might walk in expecting a forgettable slapstick farce like Bride Wars.

Prepare to be surprised—the men in the audience will laugh as hard as the women who dragged them into the theater kicking and screaming. Wiig, who co-wrote and coproduced, has made a movie that’s funnier and rowdier than The Hangover.

In addition to Wiig and Rudolph, the six

18 MAY 19, 2011

leads are Melissa McCarthy, Olivia Wilde, Ellie Kemper and Wendi McLendon-Covey, and all prove they can mix OMG shocks and bawdy laughter as much as the boys.

Paul Feig, who directed many episodes of great TV comedies (his resume includes Arrested Development, Freaks and Geeks and Parks and Recreation), sprinkles the cast with alumni of Saturday Night Live and The Office. Despite the anything-for-alaugh vulgarity, this is actually a sweet little movie about how life can get between a healthy friendship.

The cliché is that women want movies with odes to female empowerment and touchy-feely emotions, while men don’t care about joining the Ya-Ya Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and just want to laugh.

The truth is that women like movies with crude yuks as much as men but have been pigeonholed with “chick flicks.” You want the estrogen answer to The 40-Year Old Virgin? This is it.

Wiig’s performance gets better as the film progresses; sometimes she falls back on schtick but mostly she taps into the

gentle sadness that plagues her character.

Rudolph still hasn’t found a role as good as her lead in Away We Go but at least she gets a chance to act again. Wilde (great in the current Insidious) is topnotch as the “perfect” and most viciously competitive bridesmaid, Jon Hamm is a riot as an alpha male doofus and the late Jill Clayburgh is lovely in her final film role.

You’ll walk away remembering two actors most of all: Chris O’Dowd, terrific as Wiig’s unlikely love interest, and Melissa McCarthy, spectacular as a woman utterly comfortable in her own skin. McCarthy, a gifted character actress who never plays the

same role, is the film’s most reliable secret weapon. She’s a crass, foot-in-the-mouth wild child, but she’s no fool and has the film’s most touching moments.

Some scenes are longer than necessary, like the filmmakers were having too much fun and didn’t want to yell cut, and the movie as a whole seems unsure of what it wants to be: A romantic comedy? A quirky indie flick? An all-out raunch fest?

Bottom line: it wants you to laugh. And you will—whatever your gender. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1448f2

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

FRONT STREET THEATER

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) Jumping the Broom - PG13 - THU (4:30), 7:15, 9:50.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2D)-PG13-FRI (12:45, 4:00), 7:15, 10:15. SAT-SUN (12:45), 4:00, 7:15, 10:15. MON-WED (4:00), 7:15, 10:15.

Priest (2D) - PG13 - THU (4:15), 7:05, 9:30. FRI (1:45, 4:40), 7:20, 9:50.

SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:40, 7:20, 9:50. MON-WED (4:15), 7:05, 9:30.

Rio (2D) - PG - THU (4:00), 7:00, 9:30. FRI (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:00, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (4:00), 7:00, 9:30.

Something Borrowed - PG13 - THU (4:40), 7:20, 9:50. FRI (1:45, 4:40), 7:20, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:40, 7:20, 9:50. MON-WED (4:40), 7:20, 9:50.

Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) Bridesmaids - R - THU-FRI (1:30, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:20, 7:10, 10:00. MON-WED (1:30, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00.

The Conspirator - PG13 - THU (1:40), 6:40.

Hanna - R - THU 7:05, 9:40.

Hoodwinked Too: Hood vs. Evil (2D) - PG - THU (2:10). FRI (12:00, 2:10, 4:20). SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:10), 4:20. MON-WED (2:10, 4:20).

Hoodwinked Too: Hood vs. Evil (3D) - PG - THU (4:20), 6:30, 8:40 Hop - PG - THU (2:20, 4:40).

Jumping the Broom - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:35, 4:15), 6:55, 9:35. SAT-SUN (1:35), 4:15, 6:55, 9:35. MON-WED (1:35, 4:15), 6:55, 9:35.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2D) - PG13 - FRI (12:15, 2:15, 3:30, 5:30), 6:45, 8:30, 9:45 11:15. SAT (11:00, 12:15, 2:15), 3:30, 5:30, 6:45, 8:30, 9:45, 11:15. SUN (11:00, 12:15, 2:15), 3:30, 5:30, 6:45, 8:30, 9:45.

MON-WED (2:15, 3:30, 5:30), 6:45, 8:30, 9:45.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (3D) - PG13 - FRI (12:45, 1:00, 1:15, 4:00, 4:30), 7:15, 7:45, 10:00, 10:15, 10:45. SAT (10:15, 12:45, 1:00, 1:15), 4:00, 4:30, 7:15, 7:45, 10:00, 10:15, 10:45. SUN (10:15, 12:45, 1:00, 1:15), 4:00, 4:30, 7:15, 7:45, 10:00, 10:15. MON-WED (1:00, 1:15, 4:00, 4:30), 7:15, 7:45, 10:00, 10:15.

Something Borrowed - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:55, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55. SAT-SUN (1:55), 4:25, 7:15, 9:55. MON-WED (1:55, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55.

Source Code - PG13 - THU (4:25), 9:30.

Thor (2D) - PG13 - THU (3:45), 6:30, 9:15. FRI (1:00, 3:45), 6:30, 9:15. SATSUN (1:00), 3:45, 6:30, 9:15. MON-WED (1:00, 3:45), 6:30, 9:15.

Thor (3D) - PG13 - THU (1:30, 2:00, 2:30, 4:15, 4:45, 5:15), 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 9:45. FRI (2:00, 4:15, 4:45), 7:00, 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (2:00), 4:15, 4:45, 7:00, 7:30, 10:10. MON-WED (2:00, 4:15, 4:45), 7:00, 7:30, 10:10.

Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family - PG13 - THU (2:30, 4:55), 7:20, 9:45. FRI-WED 6:45, 9:15.

Water For Elephants - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:45, 4:25), 7:05, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:25, 7:05, 9:45. MON-WED (1:45, 4:25), 7:05, 9:45.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) African Cats - THU 11:15.

Fast Five - PG13 - THU 11:45, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7:00, 8:00, 9:45. FRISAT 10:50, 1:35, 2:30, 4:20, 5:15, 7:05, 8:00, 9:50, 10:20. SUN-WED 10:50, 11:45, 1:35, 2:30, 4:20, 5:15, 7:05, 8:05, 9:50.

The Hangover Part II - R - WED 12:01am.

Priest (2D) - PG13 - THU 6:00, 8:00, 10:00. FRI-WED 11:00, 1:20, 3:35, 5:50, 8:05, 10:20.

Priest (3D) - PG13 - THU-WED 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7:00, 9:15 Prom - PG - THU 11:00, 1:25, 3:50. FRI-WED 11:30.

Rio (2D) - PG - THU 10:30, 12:40, 2:50, 5:00, 7:10, 9:20. FRI-MON 10:30, 12:40, 2:50, 5:00, 7:10, 9:20. WED 11:20, 1:30, 3:40, 5:50, 8:05, 10:10.

Soul Surfer - PG - THU 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:35. FRI-WED 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) 13 Assassins - R - FRI-WED 11:45, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45 Bridesmaids - R - THU 1:00, 3:40, 6:20, 9:00. FRI-WED 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:05, 9:40.

Fast Five - PG13 - THU 1:15, 3:45, 6:15, 8:45 The Hangover Part II - R - WED 12:01am.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2D) - PG13 - FRI-MON 10:15, 1:10, 4:05, 7:00, 9:55. TUE 10:00, 1:00, 4:05, 7:00, 9:55. WED 1:00, 4:05, 7:00, 9:55.

Rio (2D) - PG - THU 1:10, 3:25.

Something Borrowed - PG13 - THU 1:05, 3:30, 5:55, 8:20.

True Legend - R - THU-WED 11:40, 2:10, 4:40, 7:10, 9:40.

Water For Elephants - PG13 - THU 5:35, 8:20.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Bridesmaids - R - THU-FRI (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. MON-WED (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00.

Fast Five - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:05, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:00, 4:00), 7:05, 10:00. MON-WED (1:00, 4:00), 7:05, 10:00.

Thor (3D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:00, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:15, 7:00, 9:45. MON-WED (1:30, 4:15), 7:00, 9:45.

New This Week 13 ASSASSINS - R - Action - ...and a baby?

In Japanese with English subtitles. 126 min.

killed by aliens. Kidding about the last part—but we had you excited, didn’t we? 127 min.

fiancee and then they all get killed by aliens. Sorry, kidding again. 110 min.

THE HANGOVER PART II - R - Comedy - We’re holding out for The Hangover Part III: The Intervention. 102 min.

PROM - PG - Teen drama - Disney manages to make a movie about high school that involves no singing, dancing or Zac Efrons. 104 min.

SOUL SURFER - PG - Drama - Based on the inspirational life of Kauai surfer Bethany Hamilton, who lost her arm but not her drive. 106 min.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES - PG 13 - Fantasy - See this week’s film critique (opposite page). 137 min.

RIO - PG - Animated, Family - A bird who sounds a lot like the dude from The Social Network has various feathered misadventures. 114 min.

THOR - PG13 - Fantasy - It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a bastardized Greek god with a hammer! 130 min.

TRUE LEGEND - R - Action - Chinese import about a retired Qing dynasty general who gets pulled back into service. In Mandarin with English subtitles. 116 min.

SOMETHING BORROWED - Comedy PG13 - A chick falls for her best friend’s

TYLER PERRY’S MADEA’S BIG HAPPY FAMILY - PG 13 - Horror - A dude dresses in drag and pretends to be a mean old lady to impart good ol’ fashioned Christian morals. Seriously. 121 min.

The Hangover Part II

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS - PG 13 Romance - What, no peanuts? 122 min.

NOW SHOWING BRIDESMAIDS - R - Comedy - See this week’s film critique (opposite page).

FAST FIVE - PG13 - Action - The sequel to Slow Four, or another one of those racing movies with Vin Diesel. You choose. 130 min.

LAST CHANCE AFRICAN CATS - G - Documentary - Disney manages to make a movie about felines that involves no singing, dancing or lovable sidekicks. 89 min.

HANNA - R - Action - A 16-year-old female assassin is unleashed on the European subcontinent. See girls?

You can do anything you set your mind to. 111 min.

THE CONSPIRATOR - PG13 - Drama - The death of Abe Lincoln may seem like it’s right up there with “what killed the dinosaurs?”, but dammit, Hollywood’s gonna crack the case. 122 min.

HOODWINKED TOO: HOOD VS. EVIL PG - Animated - If you like that title, you might also like this fairy-tale skewering sequel. If not, probably not. 111 min.

HOP - PG - Comedy - It wasn’t easy, but they figured out how to make the Easter Bunny even creepier: give him the voice of a foppish British comedian. 110 min.

JUMPING THE BROOM - PG13 - Comedy - Two families from different sides of the tracks come together for a wedding and then they all get

SOURCE CODE - PG13 - Thriller - Jake Gyllenhall blows up every eight minutes, and you get to watch. 108 min.

There are over 100 things you could be doing today on Maui.

Go to mauitime.com for complete weekly calendar listings, and find something to do today.

MAY 19, 2011 19

PICKS

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

‘Shrew’ The Right Thing

Alice Aforethought

Fridays & Saturdays (May 20, 21, 27 & 28), 7:30pm and Sundays (May 22 & 29), 3pm, Iao Theater, Wailuku; $15/$20/$40

Thursday (May 19), 10pm, Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, Paia, $5 Friday (May 20), 9pm, Stella Blues Cafe, Kihei, $15 advance/$20 door

With “a provocative twist on a classic comedy,” the latest from Maui OnStage flips gender like a coin and has a stylistic aim that’s Logan’s Run meets Barbarella, dressed in steampunk style and doused in Day Glo. Nope, it’s not the Blue Girl Group—it’s Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. Directed by Cassandra Wormser (a local Shakespearean expert who’s lent her talents to MAPA’s Othello and Seabury Hall’s Romeo and Juliet), this sci fi production of Shrew changes Luciento to Lucienta (played by Lehua Simon) and Baptista (Lauren Burgess) from a single dad to a single mom.

Meanwhile, title character Katherina (Genie Calanga) gets a dominatrix makeover, adding the click of stilettos to the rhythm of iambic pentameter. General admission tickets are available at If the Shoe Fits (Wailuku) and Lava Java (Kihei), or call the theater to book a dinner package from either Cafe O’Lei (Market St. location; 5:15-5:45pm seating) or Bistro Casanova (5:30pm seating). 244-8680; mauionstage.com

I’ve got a friend who looks for every possible exit, everywhere we go. Why? “You can never be too ready for a zombie outbreak.”

At first, this seems absurd. But we all weigh ourselves down, every day, with problems that might not ever happen (zombie enthusiasts, I’m not saying the zombie apocalypse isn’t upon us, but a girl’s gotta make an analogy). Taking us out of our everyday panic is Moonalice, the merry music-making band of hippies that brought you the Twittercast concert. In the face of an ad interim apocalypse, here’s a band with “no label, no manager, no publicist and no problems.” If that isn’t enough of a glimpse into these minstrels’ music, consider their songs, “Kick It Open,” “It’s 4:20 Somewhere” and “I’m Glad You Think So,” all free for download on their Web site, moonalice.com. And hey, if you don’t like it, the world is ending soon anyway— and my friend will be all too happy to show you the nearest exit. Charley’s: 579-8085; charleysmaui.com; Stella Blues: 874-3779; stellablues.com [Ynez Tongson]

PHOTO BY JACK GRACE

PHOTO COURTESTY OF AMERICAN ARTISTS

20 MAY 19, 2011

BY ANU YAGI anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Shantholla!

Going Both Wayans

Saturday (May 21), 7pm, The Studio Maui, Haiku, $15 advance/$20 door

Friday (May 20), 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, Kahului; $39/$49/$59 (+$30 for post-show meet-and-greet)

Growing up, I never once snuck out of the house. Not because I didn’t want to, but because my parents had the presence of mind to raise my brother and me in the kind of home that would creakily broadcast our every movement to the far reaches of space. With no chance of escape, I’d gaze wistfully out the window, wishing I could quietly hop through it and run off into the Kula pastureland with dew between my toes and fog in my nose. If this fantasy had a soundtrack, it might sound a little like Shantala’s “Sneakin’ Out” (Ocean of Sound; 2009)—a tune as sweet and soft as an early summer night, but a touch kolohe, too. Back by popular demand, the Portland, Oregon collective (Benjy and Heather Wetheimer) returns to Maui for the third time to bring Studio-goers a night of song and sacred kirtan (“chanting in an energetic call-and-response repetition of Sanskrit mantras”). If you plan to attend, you’d do well to sneak in as early as 5:30pm for pre-show catering by Monsoon India and Coconut Bliss. 575-9390; studiomaui.com, shantalamusic.com

It’s probably easy for Shawn and Marlon Wayans to laugh off (all the way to the bank, that is) their numerous Razzie nominations—and wins—or flicks like Little Man and White Chicks. Because with “a combined domestic box office of over a billion bucks,” Entertainment Weekly calls the Wayans ‘ohana “the most powerful family in Hollywood.” From New York City’s Chelsea projects all the way(ans) to stardom, all 10 siblings—who’ve collectively “written, directed, produced and/or starred in more than 45 movies and television shows”—now find celebrity comforts a way(ans) of life. (OK, OK. I’ll stop.) And remember, Marlon has a role in Requiem for a Dream to his credit, while Shawn first found fame on In Living Color (though personally, I favor his guest-starring role on Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper). Of course, their on-theroad pairing is based on their popular TV show The Wayans Bros., which aired on The WB from 1995-’99. (If you want to brush up on their shtick before the show, you can catch reruns of the series on MTV2.) No way(ans)? Yes, way(ans). 242-7469; mauiarts.org

PHOTO BY DOUG BYERS

In Concert

“B Block” Rock

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA THE AWARDS

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS HT LADIES NIG with DJ BLAST & CHILLTOWN PRODUCTIONS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

Back to the future MUSIC STARTS AT 10PM X $10 COVER

FRIDAY, MAYNS20 PRESENT TH

TASTY PIE PRODUCTIO

MUSIC STARTS AT 10:00PM $10 COVER

DAVID BLOCK

“THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE” SHEA DERRICK, KELLI LOVE & SID LIVE PHOTOSHOOT

Y 21ST SATURDAY, MA BOUNCE

MUSIC STARTS AT 10:00PM $5 COVER

SUMMERTIME BEACH

DJ KURT

A BEACH THEMED PARTY DUBSTEP, CLUB, HIP HOP

Seabury Hall

Better Than Nothing Lahainaluna

JAM

7AM Maui Preparatory Academy

for

XYZ Affair Student Ensemble

Camp Savage

JAPAN

Local Group

Music. Silent Auction. To help the people of Japan.

Suggested $5.00 Donation

5 .21 .11

All Profits Benefit

Japan Disaster Relief

2:00PM - 5:00PM

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING X DINE AND DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 572-0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

www.AlohaToJapan.com

MAY 19, 2011 21

LIVE MUSIC ON THE NORTHSHORE!

RESTAURANT

BY ANU YAGI

CALENDAR

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Da Kine Calendar

THURSDAY MAY 19

MOON ALICE 02%3!,% s $//2 s PM

FRIDAY MAY 20

REGGAE SELECTOR SHOWCASE $* %,%-%.4s $* "//-3(/4 30)..).' 4(% (/44%34 2//43

2%''!% $!.#%(!,,

SATURDAY MAY 21

TEOMON, LIA LIVE & THE KRYDTONES PM

SUNDAY MAY 22

SUNDAY FUNDAY!

&!-),9 .)'(4 0)::! 30%#)!, "59 /.% '%4 /.% /&& (/53% 30%#)!,

TUESDAY MAY 24

PELIGROSO TUESDAYS!

4!#/3 -!2'!2)4!3 -%8)#!. "%%23 BOOKING INFO: DYINGSONS@GMAIL.COM

142 HANA HWY, PAIA

808-573-8085

www.charleysmaui.com

Reggae Selector Showcase

Featuring:

BIG SHOWS SLACK KEY MASTERS SERIES - Thu, May 19. Grammy winner George Kahumoku Jr. opens the show with his musical and storytelling talents, and is joined by special guest composer Sean Naâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;auao. $25 / $45 VIP (includes talk-story session with the artists).

7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio Theater, 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MOONALICE - Thu & Fri, May 19 & 20. A group of â&#x20AC;&#x153;California hippies with no label, no manager, no publicist, no problems, and lots of fans.â&#x20AC;? In true jam band style, these seasoned musiciansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; musical improvisation evokes a sense of adventure and exploration. Featuring Ann McNamee, Roger McNamee, John Molo, Pete Sears, and Barry Sless. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. Thursday: $5. 10pm. Charleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Restaurant & Saloon, Paia; 579-8089. Friday: $15 advance / $20 door. 9pm. Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 874-3779; stellablues.com THE WAYANS BROTHERS - Fri, May 20. Quit thinking â&#x20AC;&#x153;White Girls,â&#x20AC;? OK? Shawn is famous for his role in â&#x20AC;&#x153;In Living Colorâ&#x20AC;? and Marlonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got â&#x20AC;&#x153;Requiem for a Dreamâ&#x20AC;? under his belt. And though Damon wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be there, his starring role in Spike Leeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (genius!) ďŹ&#x201A;ick â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bamboozledâ&#x20AC;? is further proof of their pedigree. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. $39 / $49 / $59. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC; One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SKUNKDOG - Fri, May 20. Kauaiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own Skunkdog returns to the Valley Isle, jamming with special guests Arise.

9pm. Moose McGillycuddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 844 Front St., Lahaina; 6677758; moosemcgillycuddys.com / skunkdog.net JAGERMEISTER LIVE MUSIC SHOWCASE: BATTLE OF THE BANDS - Sat, May 21. Featuring four of Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite bands, Dat Guyz (9-9:35pm), One Inity (9:55-10:30pm), Roots Judgment (10:5011:25pm), and Arise (11:45pm-12:20am). Plus, free giveaways from Jagermeister all night. $10. 9pm.

Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 8743779; stellablues.com MAPAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SPRING EXTRAVAGANZA - Sat & Sun, May 21 & 22. MAPA presents their lively annual showcase. The weekend starts Saturday with MAPAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s annual dance recital featuring original choreography. Then on Sunday afternoon, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll perform their beautiful rendition of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sleeping Beauty.â&#x20AC;? $12-$15. 3-7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater, 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

DJ Element Zionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gate Sound - Seattle

SPINNING THE HOTTEST Roots Reggae Dancehall

DJ Boomshot Q103 - Virgo Q g Hi Power Sound Maui

MAY 20TH 14 2 HANA HWY

BARRYFEST: A BENEFIT FOR MANAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;O RADIO Sun, May 22. Celebrating Manaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;o Radioâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 9th anniversary, and the life of co-founder Barry Shannon. Kathy Collin hosts this heartfelt tribute to her late husband. This is the annual fundraiser and will feature entertainment by Vince Esquire, Randall Rospond, Dr. Nat, Gail Swanson, SLAM featuring David Choy and Barry Flanagan. Plus, a silent auction and plenty of door prize giveaways. See page 17 for more. $20 advance / $26 door. Events Lawn, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / manaoradio.com SHANTALA: â&#x20AC;&#x153;SACRED MUSIC OF INDIAâ&#x20AC;? KIRTAN - Sat, May 21. Join Benjy & Heather Wertheimer for an evening of sacred kirtan and the sounds of India. Back by popular demand, this is the coupleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s third trip to Maui. Catering by Monsoon India and Coconut Bliss (5:30pm). See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. $15 advance / $20 door. 6:30pm doors / 7pm show. The Studio Maui, 810 Haiku Rd., Ste. 265, Haiku; 575-9390; thestudiomaui.com

STAGE THE TAMING OF THE SHREW - Fri, Sat & Sun, May 13-

22 MAY 19, 2011

29. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sci-ďŹ Shakespeare! Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss this provocative twist on a classic comedy. Dinner packages available with Cafe Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Lei and Bistro Casanova. Tickets available at If The Shoe Fits (Wailuku) or Lava Java (Kihei). See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. $15 / $20 / $40. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 244-8680 CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cirque du Soleil-esque with a uniquely Polynesian twist. Enjoy amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics, illusions, and mind-boggling contortionists. $62+ / deals for keiki and kamaaina. 6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 667-4540; maui.hyatt.com / cirquepolynesia.com

TICKETS ON SALE â&#x20AC;&#x153;DOLLARS FOR SCHOLARSâ&#x20AC;? SILENT AUCTION FUNDRAISER - Fri, May 27. A beneďŹ t for the Lahaina Complex After School Enrichment Tutor Project, featuring exquisite wine and delicious food. The projectâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s after school programs are offered at no cost â&#x20AC;&#x201D; including bus transportation, materials, supplies and snacks â&#x20AC;&#x201D; to hundreds of keiki participants on the West side. $40 per person. 6-9pm. Aina Nalu Pavilion, 660 Wainee St., Lahaina; 719-282-9011 PROARTS PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;GREATER TUNAâ&#x20AC;? - Opens Fri, May 27 and continues through Sun, Jun 12. A cast of just two welcomes you to Tuna, Texasâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; where the population is small, but the personalities are big. A play by Jaston Williams, Joe Sears and Ed Howard. Directed by Doug Kendrick. Contains some mild adult content. $15 / $20. 7:30pm Fridays & Saturdays. 3pm Sundays. ProArts Playhouse, Azeka (Makai) Shopping Center, 1280 South Kihei Rd., Kihei; 463-6520; proartspaciďŹ c.com CITIZEN COPE - Sat, May 28. Some call Citizen Cope â&#x20AC;&#x153;a less smarmy John Mayer crossed with Stevie Wonder and a hint of Randy Newman.â&#x20AC;? Presented by the Maui Celebrity Series, now in its second year. Features special guests Arise and series creator Brian Evans. $45 - $75. 8-10:30pm. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 856-7973; mauicelebrityseries.com KANAKA HEKILI M/C 5TH ANNUAL MEMORIAL DAY RUN & FUNDRAISER - Mon, May 30. Bikers and the general public are welcome. The last stop is the Kihei VFW Hall where lunch will be served and bike rodeo eventsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;like the keg push, joust, water balloon toss and moreâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;will ensue. $20 (available at the door or in advance from club members). Meets at the Kahului Burger King at 9am. The ride leaves promptly at 10am. laphamj001@hawaii.rr.com KRIS KRISTOFFERSON FUNDRAISER FOR LOKELANI â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;OHANA - Sat, Jun 4. Kris Kristofferson is helping Lokelani â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Ohana shed light on the housing crisis for people with developmental disabilities. The Maui-based organizationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work is to create socially therapeutic programs within our community using elements of Native Hawaiian culture and tradition for adults with developmental disabilities. $15 / $30/ $50 / $250 VIP. 7:30pm.

Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / lokelaniohana.org ZION I & THE GROUCH â&#x20AC;&#x153;HEALING OF THE NATIONâ&#x20AC;?

TOUR - Sat, June 4. West Coast hip hop stalwarts perform, with a portion of the proceeds beneďŹ tting Japan tsunami relief efforts. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Touching people with our music is the main thing we can do,â&#x20AC;? says The Grouch, â&#x20AC;&#x153;but contributing in a monetary way is taking things to the next level.â&#x20AC;? Features special guests Tassho Pearce and Revolutionary Habit. Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-0220 12TH ANNUAL ZENSHIN DAIKO - Sat, Jun 11. Enjoy an evening of Japanese taiko drumming with

Hajicho Drummers from Japan, San Jose Taiko from California, and Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Zenshin Daiko, in this annual festival concert. $20, kids under 12 halfprice. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org 52ND MISS MAUI FILIPINA SCHOLARSHIP PAGEANT - Sat, Jun 11. Five lovely contestantsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Erika Sablay, Diane Lajorda, Shelby Bantilan, Melissa Rabino and Tiffany Silvaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;vie for the crown of Miss Maui Filipina, competing in ďŹ ve phases of competition (a pre-pageant interview, swimsuit, talent, speech and onstage Interview). The theme of this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pageant is â&#x20AC;&#x153;Education is the Essence of Progress.â&#x20AC;? Proudly presented by the Maui Filipino Community Council. $25. 6:30-9:30 p.m. Hyatt Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 264-0871; missmauiďŹ lipina.webs.com THE REPUBLIK MUSIC FESTIVAL - Sun, Jun 12. As part of Hard Rock CafĂŠâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 40th Anniversary Celebration, BAMP Project presents The Republik Music Festival, featuring Steel Pulse, Matisyahu, Rebelution, The Dirty Heads and The Green. Visit the boys at Requests in Wailuku to get hip to these artistsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; albums and to purchase tickets. $39.50 advance / $45 door. 4pm (gates open at 3pm). A&B Amphitheater & Yokouchi Pavillion, MACC; One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org 4 FATHERS/4 SONS: HAWAIIAN SLACK KEY ARTISTS - Sat, Jun 18. Celebrate Fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day weekend with four famous Hawaiian musical families: Dennis and David Kamakahi; George and Keoki Kahumoku; Kevin and Ikaika Brown; and Richard and Kai Hoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;opiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;i. $25. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio Theater, 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org JOE PISCOPO & BRIAN EVANS - Sat, June 25. Best known for his work on â&#x20AC;&#x153;Saturday Night Liveâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;perhaps most notably for his impressions of Frank Sinatraâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;comedian Joe Piscopo should pair well with crooner Brian Evans. Presented by the Maui Celebrity Series. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 856-7973; mauicelebrityseries.com KI HOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ALU GUITAR FESTIVAL - Sun, Jun 26. Enjoy the 20th Anniversary of Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ki Hoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alu (Slack Key) Guitar Festival with some of Hawaiiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best slack key artists. Free. 2-7pm. A&B Amphitheater & Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SESAME STREET LIVE, 1-2-3 IMAGINE! WITH ELMO & FRIENDS - Fri, Sat & Sun, July 29-31. Elmo, Abby Cadabby, Big Bird and all your kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; favorite Sesame Street characters will be on hand to entertain. Full of energy and adventure, Ernie captains the high seas, Elmo dances to the rhythm of the African rainforest and Bert meets an octopus who has the blues. Too cool. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org JAMIE KENNEDY - Sat, July 30. Hey, did you know that Jamie Kennedy lends the voice to Roberta Tubbsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; boyfriend on â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Cleveland Showâ&#x20AC;?? True story! Presented by the Maui Celebrity Series. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 856-7973; mauicelebrityseries.com JIM BRICKMAN - Sun, Aug 7. Brickman is a platinum-selling artist whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s celebrated for revolutionizing the sound of solo piano with pop instruments and star-studded vocal collaborations. $25 / $35 / $50 / $65 (VIP). 3pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org ANDREW DICE CLAY - Sat, Aug 13. If you like your humor crude and rude, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be thrilled to hear the Diceman cometh to Maui. Presented by the Maui Celebrity Series. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 856-7973; mauicelebrityseries.com

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

05/19

05/20

05/21

05/22

05/23 - 05/25

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Thirsty Thursday Ladies’ Night w/ DJ Jamn J 9pm; no cover

Bottoms Up Nightclub w/ DJ C, DJ LX & Emcee Jay-J, 10pm; $10

Relay for Life Benefit feat.

Nuff Sedd, Front Line, Cornerhouse and Unified Soul, 9:30pm $10/$15

Simma Down Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ 10pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ host Terri Garrison, 9pm; no cover (sign up by 8pm) / WED - Na Koa Iakaika Baseball Karaoke Party, 9pm

AMBROSIA

Old School Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol

Closed for Private Party

Sunrize Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka

Ultra w/ DJ CIA

MON – SuperNova feat. Indio & Gibran / TUE – Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ Flaw / WED – Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA

Live Music

Live Music

David Block w/ Shea Derrick, Kelli Love and Sid, 10pm; $10

Summertime Beach Bounce w/ DJ Kurt, 10pm; $5

Moonalice 9pm; $20 ($15 presale)

Reggae Selector Showcase ft.

DJ Element & DJ Boomshot

Teomon, Lia Live & The Kryptones - 9pm

Junior & Oren 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter D, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Ryan Palma, 7:30-10pm (no cover)

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului - 873-6555

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina - 667-0908

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown, 10pm; $10

Friday’s in the Sky Lounge w/ DJ CIA

DAVID PAUL’S ISLAND GRILL 900 Front St., Lahaina - 662-3000

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

Industry Night 10pm; no cover

Maui Blues Band 10pm; no cover

Fish Tank feat. Murray Thorne 10pm; no cover

Jordan & Wolf 10pm; no cover

MON - Gomega / TUE - Super Duppah Reggae Band (all sets 10pm; no cover)

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

Quiz Night 8pm; no cover

Jarod 10pm; no cover

Big John 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 10pm; no cover

MON – Jordan / TUE – Big John (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Karaoke & Darts

Roots Judgment 9pm-12am; no cover

Karaoke & Darts

Karaoke & Darts

WED - Free Pool

Rampage 9pm-close

Dat Guyz 9pm-close

Super Dub Tribe 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Junior Lacuesta, 9pm-close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-close

Lahaina Open Mic Night, 7:30-10pm; no cover (all ages)

Sounds of Addiction 8-11:30pm

Free Salsa Lessons 10-11pm / Latin DJ 11pm; $7

MON - Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana / TUE Jessica Rabbitt & Kanoa / WED - Erin Smith (all sets 7:30-10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - Karaoke

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

SPIN DOCTORS - Sat, Aug 20. The two princes who adore you will have to compete to see who gets to be your date at the Spin Doctors concert, live under the stars. $55. 8 p.m. Royal Lahaina Resort, 2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina; 1-877-GROOV (47668); groovetikets.com

budget? Join demo diva Sharla for a delicious recipe that will satisfy the entire family without breaking the bank (less than $3 per serving). Free. 5pm. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 8723310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

FOODIE

ANNOUNCEMENTS

MAKING CULTURED VEGGIES WITH CHEF TETON - Sat, May 21. Fermented veggies are brimming with friendly, beneficial bacteria (flora) and a variety of phytochemicals. At this workshop, Chef Teton teaches you how easy it is to make delicious cultured superfoods using fresh garden herbs and veggies grown at Hale Akua.

Want to make your own to take-home treats? Bring a head of local cabbage, plus a large glass bowl and knife.

Class includes an intro to organic gardening and permaculture tour. Call or go online to register. $30. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Hale Akua Garden Farm, 110 Door of Faith Rd., Haiku; 572-9300; haleakuagardenfarm.com

HALEAKALA SERVICE LEARNING & FREE CABIN STAY - Thu, May 19. Folks who’ve never hiked the Haleakala crater are especially invited to volunteer Memorial Day weekend (May 28-30) on a service learning trip to Paliku Cabin and down Kaupo Gap. A ranger will accompany the group and answer your questions about Haleakala, while you protect and preserve National Park wilderness (and enjoy free time, too). $15 (includes cabin, two dinners and transportation). 8:30 a.m. Haleakala National Park, 264-4757; fhnp.org

BUY LOCAL, EAT LOCAL: A HOW-TO DEMO - Every Fri. Whole Foods Market celebrates what’s salivating about seasonal, locally grown produce with a cooking demonstration. Free. 11am. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui ACUPUNCTURE & HERBS WITH JOHN - Every Mon & Wed. Acupuncture & Herbs with John Motley, licensed acupuncturist and well-versed guru in the healing arts of herbs, will be in the store to provide shoppers with information and free demos of this healing craft. 4pm. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui FREE VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - Every Tue. See (and sample!) how Andrea Bertoli, Down to Earth’s vegan chef, uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfasts, and deserts.

Free. 5:30-6:30pm. Down To Earth, 305 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 877-2661; downtoearth.org “MEALS ON A BUDGET” RECIPE SHOWCASE WITH SHARLA - Every Wed. Looking for great recipes on a

SIGN UP FOR SUMMER READING PROGRAMS AT YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY - Readers of all ages are invited to participate in the 2011 HSPLS Summer Reading Programs, conducted May 31 through July 1. The free five-week program features outstanding, family-friendly storytelling performances by noted storytellers and artists. Participants who visit the library weekly and read at least one book per week are eligible to receive a free weekly reading incentive, while supplies last. Contact your local public library for starting dates and guidelines. librarieshawaii.org CAMP IMUA SERVICE OPPORTUNITIES - Camp Imua is a week-long overnight summer camp for mentally and physically challenged keiki. This year, the camp celebrates their 35th summer and are seeking donations and volunteers (camp dates: June 11-17). To find out how you can help, e-mail campimua@gmail.com

EVENTS THURSDAY, MAY 19 PICNIC WITH POKI - Every third Thursday, under the shade of the monkeypod tree, enjoy live entertainment, hosted by Poki of KPOA 93.5 FM. Bring your friends and ‘ohana, something to sit on, and

of course (no picnic complete without it), your mea’ ai (lunchtime grindz). Free. Kaahumanu Church, High St., Wailuku; 244-5189 SCHOOL BENEFIT WITH MANUEL “MANNY” C. MENENDEZ, III - Menendez leads an interactive informational dialog titled “Establishing Successful Business Relations with China,” focusing on important—yet little known—aspects of doing business in China and attracting Chinese investors. Reservations recommended. $15 suggested donation. 6pm. Kihei Charter High School, 41 Lipoa St., Kihei; 572-5603 MAORI HEALERS - Learn about indigenous Maori healing traditions, from Kiwis who return to the Valley Isle for the first time in five years. Topics include “Mirimiri,” “Koo Miri,” “Taa Miri” and “Romiromi.” $20. 6:308:30pm. The Studio Maui, 810 Haiku Rd., Ste. 265, Haiku; 575-9390; thestudiomaui.com NAPILI CANOE CLUB BENEFIT - Enjoy the tunes of The Dan Saunders Band and support a good cause. $10 advance / $12 door. LuLu’s Lahaina, Lahaina Cannery Mall, Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina; 661-0808

FRIDAY, MAY 20 HAWAII SECULAR SOCIETY MEETING - The Maui Chapter of this rapidly growing group invites you to join their discussion. This month’s topics include organ donations and snorkel clean-ups. 4:30pm. Beach Bums Bar & Grill, 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M, Maalaea; 946-7811 7TH ANNUAL OBSERVANCE OF NATIONAL ASIAN AND PACIFIC ISLANDER HIV/AIDS AWARENESS DAY - “While Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders (AAPIs) represent 1 percent of HIV/AIDS cases nationally, the number may actually be larger because of misclassification of race/ethnicity in medical records due to underreporting of HIV among Asians and Pacific Islanders,” says says Dr. Howard Koh, assistant secretary for health for the US Department of Health and Human Services. “The theme this year speaks to us all: ‘Saving face can’t make you safe.

Talk about HIV—for me, for you, for everyone.’”

SCHOOL BAND FUNDRAISER - Maui Mall is fundraising for Maui County schools, with donation boxes set up by vendors throughout the mall. 5:30-

7:30 p.m. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 871-1307; mauimall.com

SATURDAY, MAY 21 THE FRIENDS OF LAHAINALUNA FOOTBALL 36TH ANNUAL GOLF TOURNAMENT - Proceeds from this event help purchase uniforms and equipment, defray expenses for local and inter-island games and tournaments, and general financial support the Lunas need. A three-person scramble format. Sponsorship opportunities available. Held at the Ka’anapali Kai South Course, Ka’anapali. Friends of Lahainaluna Football, Inc., P.O. Box 10486, Lahaina; 298-9782 BENEFIT CO-ED SOFTBALL TOURNAMENT FOR JODY GONSALVES - Open class. Five girl minimum for each team. All proceeds help with Jody Gonsalves medical expenses. Continues on Sunday, May 22. Eddie Tam, Makawao; 344-8832 ARMED FORCES DAY TRIBUTE - The Maui County Republican Party is hosting their annual Armed Forces Day picnic to salute the U.S. Military. All veterans, active personnel and reservists—and those who wish to honor them—are invited to participate in this free event. Door prizes, entertainment, a main dish, and drinks (please bring a side dish or dessert if you can) will be provided, and a “Military Memorabilia” table will highlight service with photos, medals, pins and other momentos. Free. 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Kalama Beach Park(middle pavilion by the playground equipment), 1910 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 280-4151 KAMA’AINA & U.S. MILITARY APPRECIATION Did you know that throughout the month of May, Hawaii residents and U.S. military personnel can enjoy 50 percent off the cost of aquarium admission? Maui Ocean Center, 192 Maalaea Rd., Maalaea; mauioceancenter.com SUMMER JOB FAIR - Need a job? Find one here! Loads of organizations are looking for qualified candidates— so go and show ‘em what you’ve got! Free. 10am-4pm.

Queen Kaahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; queenkaahumanucenter.com ANUHEA’S “SUMMER OF LOVE TOUR” KICKOFF Maui’s own Anuhea kicks off her summer tour, and is

MAY 19, 2011 23

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

05/19

05/20

05/21

05/22

05/23 - 05/25

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Renee Alonzo 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

Brian Cuomo 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Ashley Welte / TUE - Ras Shaggai / WED - Howard Ahia (all 7pm - close; no cover)

KAHALE’S

Vince Esquire

Kenny Roberts

Eight Track Players

Kahala

MON through WED - Da-Ha-Y-Ns

KIMO’S

1810 6:30-8:30pm

Willie K 9-11pm; $5

JD on the Rocks 8-10pm

Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm

MON through WED - Sam Ahia, 6:308:30pm

Bad Kitty 8-11pm; no cover

Mango Pickers and Billy & The Bad Dogs, 6pm1am; no cover

Swatimtalkinbout and Kinfe Opera, 8pm-12am; no cover

Gina Martinelli 7-10pm; no cover

MON - Karaoke Fun Night, 6pm-1am / TUE - Pool Night, 6pm-1am / WED - Kiwi Cowboys 7-10pm (all no cover)

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

Crazy Fingers 9pm-1am; no cover

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei 875-7711

845 Front St., Lahaina 661-4811

KIWI ROADHOUSE

95 E. Lipoa St., Ste A101, Kihei - 874-1250

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Louise Lambert & Gene Argel, 6-9pm / DJ Canespider, 11pm-close

Easy Listening w/ Neto 8-10pm DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Karaoke w/ Manino 7:30-11pm; no cover

MON - Service Industry Night WED - Karaoke w/ Manino, 7:30-11 pm

Benefit for Napili Canoe Club w/ The Dan Saunders Band, 9-11pm; $10/$12

Cyrus Clark

Status Party feat. DJ Twizy, DJ Jem and DJ Treb, plus Philly Blunt & Money Mike, 10pm; $10

Kenny Roberts

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm-12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm (all no cover)

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MOANA CAFE

DJ Music

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

Murray Thorne 6:308:30pm / Pub Quiz Night w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9pm-12am

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

Gail Swanson 6:30-8:30pm

Jazz on the Blue, 7-9pm / Leche de Tigre 10pm-12am

DJ Stylz 10pm; no cover

DJ Stylz 10pm; no cover

658 Wharf St., Lahaina - 661-3636

joined by the one and only Erin Smith. 8pm. Three’s Bar and Grill, 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-3133

150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului; 249-2798 / info@mnbg.org; mnbg.org

RELAY FOR LIFE BENEFIT CONCERT - Featuring Nuff Sedd, Front Line, Cornerhouse and Unified Soul. Tickets available at Solid Clothing Company. $10 advance / $15 door. 9:30pm. Kahului Ale House, 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului; 877-9001

“45-TON TALK” - Every Tue & Thu. Learn tons of stuff about whales. Call or e-mail to RSVP. Also hosted at the Whalers Village’s Whale Museum in Ka’anapali on Fridays and Saturdays at 11am.

Free. 11am. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Education Center, 726 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-2818 / bo.petty@noaa.gov

COLORING & POETRY CONTEST - Every Fri & Sun in May. In recognition of World Oceans Day (June 8), the aquarium is holding a coloring and poetry contest for keiki 3-to 12-years-old. Kids can submit a drawing or poem that best represents the theme “Hawaii’s Unique Oceans” for the chance to win an Annual Journey Pass to the aquarium. (The deadline to enter is May 31). Maui Ocean Center, 192 Maalaea Rd., Maalaea; mauioceancenter.com PET-A-PALOOZA - There are plene kine kitties and canines who need a loving ‘ohana. Check out this special, weekly open house and find your new best friend. Free. 11:30am-2:30pm. Maui Humane Society, 1350 Meha Meha Loop, Puunene; 8773680; mauihumanesociety.org FULL MOON LABYRINTH WALK - Enjoy a full moon labyrinth walk with Eve Hogan at the Sacred Garden, Makawao. 573-7700; sacredgardenmaui.com

MONDAY, MAY 23 THE FRAGILITY OF HAWAI’S CORAL REEFS You’re sure to learn a lot at this lecture about the fragile ecosystems of Hawaii’s coral reefs. Free.

2-3pm. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Education Center, 726 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-2818 ext. 23

TUESDAY, MAY 24 GARDEN TOURS AT MAUI NUI BOTANICAL GARDENS - Every Tue & Fri. Volunteer-guided tours include discussions about conservation, natural history, ethnobotanical uses of native Hawaiian plants, and MNBG initiatives. By appointment only. Free ($5 suggested doantion). 10-11:30am. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens,

24 MAY 19, 2011

The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bag Piper Roger McKinley, 6:30-9:30pm / Big John, 10pm-12am

Mon - SLAM feat. David Choy 7:30-9pm / Rocking ‘80s Party 10pm-12am / Tue Willie K, 7-9pm / WED Willie K, 7-9pm / Jordan & Wolf, 10pm-12am

The Haiku Hillbillys 8-10pm

PIONEER INN

SUNDAY, MAY 22

TUE - Open Mic Night

WEDNESDAY, MAY 25 INCLUSIVE WHEELCHAIR TENNIS PROGRAM Wheelchair Tennis is available for all ages, sports wheelchairs will be provided. Free (reservations required). 3:30-5:30 p.m. Kahului Community Center, 275 Uhu St., Kahului; 270-7232 EXPAND YOUR CAREER OPTIONS: EARN A COLLEGE DEGREE ON MAUI - Nearly 1,000 Maui residents have already taken advantage of the bachelors and masters degrees, and certification programs offered at UHMC. Learn more about how you can expand your career options—and increase your earning potential—at this free presentation.

Free. 5:30-7pm. Makawao Public Library, 1159 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 573-8785; librarieshawaii.org

Indapkt 3-6pm. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937.

COOL CAT CAFE - Every Thu, Junior & Oren 7:30-10pm; Every Fri & Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Every Sun, Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; Every Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Every Tue, live Jazz 7-10pm; Every Wed, Ryan Palma 7:30-10pm.

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina, 667-0908.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Damien 3–5pm, Garrett & Peter 6–8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm, Kulewa 6-8:30pm; Sat, Mondo 3-5pm, Kulewa 6-8:30pm; Sun, Mondo 3-5pm, Ron & Miles 6-8:30pm; Every Mon, Brian 3-5pm, Damien & Edee 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Wed, Brian 3-5pm, Alika & Eddie 6-8:30pm. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 662-2900.

MERRIMAN’S - Wed-Sun, Ranga Pae; Mon, Benoit Jazzworks; Tue, David Choy. All sets 6-9pm. 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina, 669-6400.

HARD ROCK CAFE - Every Thu, all-ages Open Mic Night 9pm; Every Mon, Damon Parillo and Danyel Alana 7:3010pm; Every Tue, Ryan Palma 7:30-10pm; Every Wed, Erin Smith 7:30-10pm. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7400.

PIONEER INN - Fri, The Haiku Hillbillys 8-10pm. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 661-3636

SLACK KEY SHOW – Masters of Hawaiian Music - George Kahumoku Jr. hosts this Grammy Awardwinning concert series. Co-hosted by Da Ukulele Boyz, a different guest artist is featured each week.

Dinner/show package available with Sea House Restaurant (adjacent to the concert hall; 5:30pm seating). $39.99. 7:30-9:30 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort Pavilion, 5900 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Napili; 669-3858; slackkey.com / napilikai.com

HULA GRILL - Thu, Alika 11:30am-1pm, Ernest Pua’a 2-4pm, Armadillo 4:15-6:15pm, Kulewa 6:30-9pm; Fri, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm, 1810 4:15-6:15pm, Kawika, Roy, & Tarvin 6:30-9pm; Sat, Evan Schulman 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm, 1810 4:15-6:15pm, Will Pohaku 6:30-9pm; Sun, Kawika Lum Ho 11:30-1pm, Ron & Ikaika 2-4pm, 1810 4:156:15pm, Derrick Sebastian Trio 6:30-9pm; Mon, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm, Armadillo 4:15-6:15pm, Derrick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:309pm; Tue, Kawika Lum Ho 11:30am-1pm, Jarrett Roback 2-4pm, Ernest Pua’a 4:15-6:15pm, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30-9pm.; Wed, Ernest Pua’a11:30am-1pm, Alika 2-4pm, Peter DeAquino 4:15-6:15pm, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30-9pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 667-6636.

“DAY BEFORE THEY PLAY” BASEBALL KARAOKE PARTY - Sing your heart out and celebrate the return of Na Koa Ikaika baseball. Kahului Ale House, 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului; 877-9001

JAVA JAZZ - Thu, Rene Alonzo; Fri & Sat, Farzad & Mike Madden; Sun, Brian Cuomo; Mon, Ashley Welte; Tue, Ras Shaggai; Wed, Howard Ahia (all sets 7pm).

3550 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Lahaina, 667-0787.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Fri & Sat, Ras Shaggai 5:30-8:30pm; Sun,

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Every Fri, Cyrus Clark 5-7pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 9am-12pm; Every Mon, Junior 6-8pm. Every Wed, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm.

Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 661-0808.

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu, Jarrett & Wilson; Every Fri, The J.D. on the Rocks Band 2:30-5pm; Every Sat, J.D. & Harry 2:30-5pm; Every Sun, Kilohana 2:30-5pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy.

Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495.

ONO BAR & GRILL - Thu & Tue, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Kealii Lum; Sun, Mitch Keppa; Wed, Scott Baird (all sets 6-9pm). Westin Maui Resort & Spa, 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., 667-2525.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun & Thu, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat, Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm. 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Every Tue, “Glee” screening 7pm. Every Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night (this week: “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”) 7:30pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-1011 BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike F. 5-9pm; Every Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M, Maalaea, 243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Every Fri & Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 879-2224.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu, Junior Lacuesta; Every Fri, Mon &Tue, Rick Glencross; Every Sat, Ryan Robinson; Every Wed, Jordan Cudworth. (all sets 4-8pm.)

Sun, Mon & Tue, Karaoke 8pm; Wed, Open Mic 9pm.

1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 874-1250.

KAI WAILEA - Thu, Mon & Sun, Wolf; Fri, Ryan Robinson; Sat, Kanoa; Mon, Tom Conway; Wed, Francois (all sets 6-8:30pm). 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1955.

KIWI ROADHOUSE - Thu, Bad Kitty 8-11pm; Every Fri, Mango Pickers and Billy & The Bad Dogs 6pm-1am; Sat, Swatimtalkinbout and Knife Opera 8pm-12am; Ev-

OO &R

TS JUDGEMEN

T

SATURDAY, MAY 21ST 10PM 路 $10 VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI! 1819 South Kihei Road 路 808-891-2414 11AM - 2AM Daily 路 Dinner until 10PM

MAY 19, 2011 25

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

05/19

05/20

05/21

05/22

05/23 - 05/25

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Jordan Fun 6-9pm

Dress Like a Pirate Night

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Sonny 10pm-close; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close

Seismic Chops 8-11pm

Ah-Tim 4-6pm; no cover

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004

R.S. SHARKY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT 41 E. Lipa St., Kihei - 874-5115

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Kanoa of Gomega 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Blast / TUE - DJ LX / WED - The ADD Twins (All sets 10pm - close; no cover)

Harley Dale Brown & Friends, 8-11pm

Industry Night 10pm-close

MON - Industry Night, 10pm-close / TUE Tennis League Night, 7pm-close / WED - DJ Dance Party, 8pm-12am

Moonalice 9pm; $15/$20

BOTB feat. Dat Guyz, One Inity, Roots Judgment and Arise, 9pm; $10

SLAM feat. David Choy 7-10pm; no cover

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz / TUE - Tom Conway / WED - Randall Rospond (all sets 4-6pm; no cover)

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9:15pm-12am; no cover

Danyel Alana Band 9pm-1am; $3

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

Justin James 9pm

The Alliez 10pm

Anuhea feat. Erin Smith 8pm

Live Music

Live Music

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm-2am; no cover

Undone w/ Ross Q 9:30pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9pm-2am; $10

Closed

MON through WED - Closed

Ladies’ Night 9pm-1:30am; $10

College Night: Next Lvl DJs 9pm-2am; $5/$10 (18+)

Live Music 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Free Karaoke

MON - Free Karaoke / TUE - Thirsty Tuesday & Free Karaoke / WED - Free Karaoke

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUE’S

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIA JUANA’S BEACH CANTINA 2291 Kaanapali Pkwy. - 667-4080

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

THE UNDERGROUND 744 Front St., Lahaina

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

ery Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 7-10pm; Wed, Kiwi Cowboys 8-11pm. 95 E. Lipoa St., Ste. A101, Kihei, 874-1250.

LULU’S KIHEI - Fri, Lousie Lambert & Gene Argel 6-9pm; Every Sat, Easy Listening with Neto 8-10pm; Every Sun & Wed, Karaoke with Manino 7:30-11pm.

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-9944.

MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat, Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets by Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Louise Lambert 6-9pm; Every Tue, Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 875-6666.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Gail Swanson 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Jazz on the Blue 6:30-9pm, Sun, The Celtic Tigers 6:309:30pm; Mon, SLAM featuring David Choy 7-9:30pm; Tue, Willie K 7-9pm; Wed, Avi & Indio 5:45-7pm; Willie K 7-9pm. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:307:30pm. 34 Wailea Gateway Plaza, Wailea, 879-7177.

SHARKY’S - Thu, Jordan Fun 6-9pm; Tue, Karaoke Contest with DJ Jay 6-9pm. Lipoa Center, 41 E. Lipoa St. Ste. 15, Kihei; 874-5115 SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu, Erin Smith; Every Fri, Randall Rospond; Every Sat, Tom Conway; Every Sun, Viva La Rumba; Every Mon, Kanoa; Every Tue, Sebrina Barron; Every Wed, Wolf. (all sets 4-6pm.)

Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu, Ah-Tim 4-6pm; Every Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Fri, Moonalice 9pm; Sat, Battle of the Bands with Dat Guyz, One Initiy, Roots Judgment and Arise 9pm; Every Sun, SLAM featuring David Choy 7-10pm; Every Mon, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz 4-6pm; Every Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 874-3779.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, live music - Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112, Kihei, 875-2910.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Thu, live Jazz 7pm; Fri, Jeff 7pm; Sat, Steff Lomeli 7pm; Mon, Cyrus Clark 7pm; Tue, Gerit Williams 7-9pm. 1945-G S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-3133.

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. Wailea Golf

26 MAY 19, 2011

TUE - Karaoke Contest w/ DJ Jay, 6-9pm

Next Level Entertainment 10pm

Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., Wailea, 875-8080.

TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu, Island Favorites with Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri, Girls Nite Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat, Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun, Ron Shadian & Friends; Every Mon, Bobby Ingram & Friends; Every Tue, Mike and Mark; Every Wed, Steve Sargenti. (all sets 6-9pm.) 2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-8860.

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY RESTAURANT - Daily, Francois 6-9pm; Every Sun, Fausto 9am-1pm. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului, 873-6555.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa- 200 Nohea Kai Dr., 661-1234.

UMALU - Daily, live music 6:30-8:30pm and torch lighting ceremony 5:30-6pm.

Kaanapali Beach Club - 104 Kaanapali Shores, 661-2000.

CENTRAL MAUI ALE HOUSE - Every Fri, Braddah Francis 4-8pm; Every Tue, Braddah Francis 4-7pm.

Every Mon, Terri Garrison 4-7pm. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001.

WED - Jerry Caires Jr. Band, 8:30-11:30pm; $3

OHANA BAR & GRILL - Every Wed & Thu, live music 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun, Thu & Sat, torch lighting ceremony 5:309:30pm.

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CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu, Joe Conte plays The Chapman Stick; Every Sat, live Argentinian music; Every Wed, The Stone Violets 6:30-8:30pm. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323.

FLATBREAD CO. - Every first Thu, Randall Rospond 6:30-9:30pm. 89 Hana Hwy. Paia, 579-8989.

GREEN BANANA CAFE - Every Tue, Thu & Sat, Polynesian Dance Coffee Luau 6pm.137 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-9130.

Kaanapali Beach Hotel - 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy., 661-0011.

KANAEHELE ROOM - Daily (except Sun & Mon), “Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages” 4:30-7:30pm.

TIKI BAR & GRILL - Daily, hula show 6:30-7pm and live music 7-9pm.

TIKI TERRACE RESTAURANT - Every Sun, Ka’anapali Champagne Brunch 9am-1pm.

Marriot Maui Ocean Club - 100 Nohea Kai Dr., 667-1200.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Daily, solo guitarists and sunset hula dancers 5:30-8:30pm; Every Sun & Wed, live music 5:30-9:30pm.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua - One Ritz-Carlton Dr., 669-6200.

10am-4pm; Thu, Sugar Cane Train Dinner 5pm.

Warren & Annabelle’s - 900 Front St., 667-6244.

WARREN & ANNABELLE’S - Daily (except Sun.), Warren & Annabelle’s Magic Show 5pm.

SOUTH MAUI Fairmont Kea Lani - 4100 Wailea Alanui, 840-8402.

FAIRMONT KEA LANI - Daily, live music 5:30-9:30pm.

POLO BEACH GRILL & BAR - Daily, live music 4-5:30pm.

Four Seasons Resort - 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000.

LOBBY LOUNGE - Daily, torch lighting ceremony and hula 5:30-6:30pm; Every Thu-Wed, Jazz music 8-11:30pm; Every Tue, Jazz music 8-10:30pm; Every Sun, Hawaiian music 8:30-10:30pm.

Grand Wailea Resort & Spa- 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., 875-1234.

BOTERO BAR & LOUNGE - Every Wed, live Hawaiian music 5:30-9:30pm.

GRAND DINING ROOM - Every Sun, live Hawaiian music and hula 10:30am-1pm.

Makena Beach & Golf Resort - 5400 Makena Alanui, 875-5888.

MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Every Sun, live music 9am-1pm.

The Shops at Wailea - 3750 Wailea Alanui, 891-6770.

THE SHOPS AT WAILEA - Every Wed, WOW! Wailea on Wednesdays live music 6:30-8:30pm.

Wailea Beach Marriot Resort & Spa - 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922.

KULA LODGE - Sat & Sun, Jazz music. 15200 Haleakala Hwy., Kula, 878-1535.

ALALOA LOUNGE - Every Fri & Sat, live music 8pm-12am.

LOCAL MOCHA CAFE - Fri & Sat, live music 6-8pm. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani, 573-2859.

Royal Lahaina Resort - 2780 Kekaa Dr., 661-3611.

ROYAL OCEAN TERRACE - Every Thu, Fri & Sat, live Hawaiian music 6-8pm.

MELE MELE LOUNGE - Daily, live music 9-11pm.

MAX WORLD BISTRO - Fri, Tatyana 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 6:30-9pm; Sun, Jazz music 6:309pm; Tue, Rakhal Kincaid 6:30-9pm; Wed, Brooks Maguire 6:30-9pm. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-2629.

Sheraton Maui - 2605 Kaanapali Pkwy., 661-0031.

EAST MAUI

LAGOON BAR - Daily, cliff diving 6-8pm, torch lighting ceremony 6-8pm, and live music 6-9pm.

Hotel Hana-Maui - 5031 Hana Hwy., 248-8211.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Phil & Angela Benoit will return next week for their every Thu gig 6:30-8:30pm; Every Tue, Open Mic Night 6pm. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

Sugar Cane Train - 975 Limahana Pl., 661-0088.

SUGAR CANE TRAIN - Daily, Sugar Cane Train rides

KUMU BAR & GRILL - Daily, hula performance 6:30-9pm.

HOTEL HANA-MAUI - Every Fri, hula performance 7-8pm.

PANIOLO LOUNGE - Every Thu-Sun & Wed, live music 6:30-9:30pm.

2011 Summer Guide IS ON THE WAY! Fairs & festivals, hikes and campouts, watersports and undersea adventures—it’s hard to imagine a place more conducive to summer fun than Maui. As the season of sun dawns, we look at the events and activities that will make

summer sizzle.

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DEADLINE: MAY 20 TH PUBLISHES: MAY 26 TH To reserve space contact: Brad at 808-283-3260 or brad@mauitime.com Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO GET IN ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING ISSUES OF THE YEAR! MAY 19, 2011 27

BY ANU YAGI

KULA KID

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter AN EXCERPT FROM: DERRIER SQUATTER AND THE GLUTES OF FIRE

â&#x20AC;&#x153;home of the $1 mai taiâ&#x20AC;?

Kiheiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s BEST Sunset Cocktail Spot!

AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD

CUT TO INT. ANUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ABDOMEN

THURSDAY 19 9pm KIHEIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LEGENDARY WEEKLY

RAMPAGE

REGGAE DANCE PARTY KEOLA AND BAND PLAYING ALL THE ISLAND FAVORITES

INT. MARCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HAPPY VALLEY HOUSE â&#x20AC;&#x201C; NIGHT

s the onto Marcâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s living room floor, while Marc explain Marc and Anu are unrolling yoga mats and towels The intro to Tony Hortonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Power 90ÂŽ DVD loops finer points of proteins and complex carbohydrates. menacingly.

BURGERS SALADS Live Music Daily Sunset Happy Hour 3-7 Nightly Entertainment

DAT GUYZ

ACT 1. SCENE 1.

FRIDAY 20 9pm

REX ABOMINIS flicker of worry crosses his scowling eyes) (sniďŹ&#x20AC;s the acidic air; and for just a moment, a you. Send a message to the One-Eyed Seerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;I seek Bob! Waddle my way, I have an urgent errand for his council.

BOB SOLIQUES ABOMINIS) (maundering toward his pale and infirm master, REX p?

Wha-what seems to be the tr-trouble m-my lordshi REX ABOMINIS (his voice is crisp and condescending)

SUPER DUB TRIBE SATURDAY FUN ROOTS ROCK REGGAE BAND

21 9pm

KARAOKE INDUSTRY NIGHT

SUNDAY 22 9pm

KARAOKE

MONDAY 23 9pm

HAPPY HOUR PRICES ALL DAY!!

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TUESDAY 24 9pm

SMOOTH ISLAND MUSIC $1 TACOS $3 CORONAS $3 CUERVO SHOTS

worse left- and right-hand man. Why must you Really, Bob, I could not have been cursed with a pussy? ng sniveli a always speak like such GINA V. and meanwhile eyes her roommate, ADDY UCTOR, (shouts up at REX, indiďŹ&#x20AC;erent to his scepterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sway; pitifully) Not everyone here has to answer to you, you Hey, I heard that! Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a bloody misogynist, Rex. know!

REX ABOMINIS (bellows) the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;bloodyâ&#x20AC;? makes my stomach turn.

Silence, you insolent bitch! Just hearing you utter BOB SOLIQUES (with meek combativeness)

WEDNESDAY 25 9pm GET UP & JAM OR WATCH THE

OPEN MIC RISING STARS

1913 S Kihei Rd 808.891.8010 ACROSS FROM FOODLAND

You Should Refer to with Illustrious Titles, If An-and, how d-dare you speak the name of He Who You?!

For Good You Know Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s GINA V. is) (rolls her eye, dismissing BOB for the idiot he youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve created an orbit! rotund so a stomach Stomach turn? Ha! Only if you mean that you are REX ABOMINIS (growls audibly) sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll soon be as obsolete as you already Ignore her, Bob. If things continue as they should, are.

s, and leaves to find the One-Eyed Seer, MAX BOB SOLIQUES laughs nervously to mask his hurt feeling .

GLUTEUS NE CUT TO INT. SECRET CHAMBER IN ANUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LOWER INTESTI MAX GLUTEUS last sought my council. But the stench of new yoga you since Ah, Rex. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been many cycles wary! be to wise are mats is now strong, so you

$5 Breakfast

Deal Everyday! ". ".

REX ABOMINIS (glowering) So you know why Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m here.

MAX GLUTEUS when weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re here at Marcâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m planted Indeed! The recent signs are disquieting. Usually that the TV is playing neither foreign ng reporti are Eargene and Eileen And, couch. the firmly on , shirtless man whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bouncing around to a public time. documentary nor concert DVD. Instead itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s some strange on a cheap Casio?! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m afraid weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re running out of domain tune that sounds as if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been pecked out CUT TO INT. ANUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ABDOMEN

Muscles have assembled for an emergency meeting.

Anu has assumed the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s poseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; stretch and the REX ABOMINIS (orating to crowd) Minions! War is upon us!

The Muscles, tense, murmur nervously.

REX ABOMINIS

Â&#x2026;-"5& /*()5 .&/6 5*- .*%/*()5 Â&#x2026;)"11: )063 1. "/% 1.

'30/5 45 Â&#x2026; -")"*/" /&95 50 $00- $"5 $"'& 01&/ ". .*%/*()5 %"*-:

now, the Sweat Lands percolate!

The One-Eyed Seer foretells great doomâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and even of the Core, whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s let you live blissful Since the dawn of our existence itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been I, King lives of complacency! , you will prove your allegiance and fight!

If you at all wish for your miserable existence to continue A war cry rumbles from The Muscles.

REX ABOMINIS hurt. us work out, I say let her! But we will make her make to as If Anu wants to be so foolish TO BE CONTINUED?

To share or save: mt.hy.pr/1448k

28 MAY 19, 2011

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

HOROSCOPE

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com +

Sign Language

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions on page 7 1. “Land crabs” (specifically Geograpsus severnsi, a recently discovered, extinct species

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) It’s never too late to begin anything (until you die). I know you’re unlikely to impulsively embark upon a new path, especially one that would seriously impact those close to you, but I hope you don’t rule it out. Trying something new is part of being alive. Being willing to grow and learn and challenge yourself is a way to feel satisfied in your life. This week is a fantastic opportunity to take the first steps down a new path you’ve been considering for a while, perhaps something risky or totally unknown. It doesn’t mean you need to follow that path to its conclusion—just, for now, take the first steps.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Many people in the world don’t share your values. That’s not usually a problem, except when they’re people who are close to you, like family members, coworkers, or even lovers. On some things, of course, you can simply agree to disagree, or make a rule that the subject is verboten.

However, there are other issues where the disagreement is so fundamental that it makes it difficult for you to coexist or cooperate. This is a harder quandary to solve.

Sometimes it leads to estrangement. If that happens, it’s good to periodically reach out and see if the gap can be bridged. If you have any inclination to do such a thing, now would be a good week to try.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) When you have too much downtime, your active mind stirs up trouble. You create problems where there are none, imbue situations with too much emotional meaning, and generally have a tendency to get over-dramatic. Keep yourself busy. No need to run yourself ragged, but if you fall asleep shortly after your head hits the pillow, you’ll be happier—and so will those around you. Fill up your mental appointment book right now, and keep your busy brain from attending to all but the most pressing and relevant issues.

Those are really the only ones it should be bothering with, anyway. The rest really doesn’t matter.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Yes, ultimately, certain decisions are yours to make, and no one else gets to make them for you (even if they think they should). However, since some of these may have a significant impact on those close to you, they should be allowed to weigh in, and heard with an open mind. Be ready to change your mind, if they make a compelling case—and, for instance, are willing to help shoulder the burden of the consequences of the choice they’re attempting to convince you to make. If they’re not willing to put up, though—they should just shut up.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Virgos love projects. That’s why you frequently get involved with people with obvious baggage. These people are often intensely creative, passionate, dynamic, and exciting to be around, but they can also veer into the paranoid, delusional, or even abusive, when they’re at their worst. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t take on such projects—I’m sure most of the time they’re grateful you’re willing to put up with their shit, and as long as they’re working on their own evolution, it’s a noble thing you do. However, know where your line is. When you don’t, you’ll find that by the time you’ve figured things out, they’ve already stepped way past it—and it’s too late.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) We all make mistakes; quite often there are prices to be paid for those mistakes. Trying to shirk them rarely works out well, and escaping the consequences of your own (admittedly poor) choices should be a last resort reserved for when they’re truly dire, not for every little screw-up in your life. Most of the time, it’s better to simply stand up and face the music, then move on, hopefully wiser. That’s certainly the case this week, when evading messes will only create more and bigger messes. Don’t. Just roll up your sleeves and clean up before things really get out of hand.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Reach out. It’ll cost you almost no effort. While it may, as you suspect, be ignored or even unwelcome, there’s no real harm done. On the other hand, there’s a slight chance it might make a big difference. That possible good, even if unlikely, is potentially very great, and outweighs almost all other considerations. You never know when a small gesture from you might mean a huge difference in your life. Since it requires so little and promises so much, the only thing I can see stopping you is your pride. And that’s a silly reason to potentially miss out on so much.

that researchers termed a “major predator”)

2. The Snark, John Griffith Chaney 3. C. 4. His 42 percent “unfavorable” rating in a recent poll, the highest among prospective Democratic candidates for Sen. Dan Akaka’s soon-to-be-vacant seat

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC.21) If harsh news needs to be delivered, better it come from you than be discovered some other way. It may be difficult to be the bearer of bad tidings, but you’re better equipped to deal the blow with as much kindness as possible (without shrinking from telling the truth) than anyone else you know. Therefore, it’s right that such a duty falls to you, as unpleasant as it might be. Look at it as an opportunity to be there for someone, and to make a difficult chapter of their life potentially just a little easier. They’d at least try to do the same for you.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Refusing to go to the beach because you don’t look as good in a bathing suit as you’d like is silly. Understandable, but still silly. Life’s short, and chances are you’ll look progressively worse in bathing suits as you get older— does that mean you should never go to the beach again?

Don’t deprive yourself of wonderful experiences for absurd reasons like this one. Remember, no one’s likely to judge you anywhere near as harshly as you judge yourself.

Almost all of those cruel self-judgments do more to hold you back than anything else. This week, let some of them go, so you can simply enjoy yourself. You deserve that.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Bittersweet is the flavor of the week, perhaps even of the year. It’s an acquired taste, to be sure. Acquire it. Learn to love it. It’s actually one of the best and most interesting flavors in life. If you really appreciate it, it’s a constant affirmation that you’re truly living. You only get to experience that taste when you truly care about something that’s not really in your control. That’s life. Bittersweet is something that people with few attachments or cares never get to experience. When you taste it, don’t feel sorry for yourself— consider yourself very lucky, instead.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Different people can see the same situation many different ways. However, trying to find a perspective where you can behave villainously and still come off as the good guy is disingenuous. Own what you do, and if you’ve acted unethically or unkindly, accept it, instead of trying to twist things to escape the consequences of your own actions.

None of us is a saint. Shit happens. The correct thing to do afterwards is stand up and claim it, instead of trying to shift the blame. This week, make sure you do mostly the former, and none of the latter.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) I love your passion. However, some of your reactions to life’s events can be a bit over the top. I hope you never lose that enthusiasm and excitement. But at the same time your continued evolution requires that you learn to rein it in and direct it, so you’re not just a constantly distracted whirlwind of gusto. This week, your continued focus (or lack thereof) will make all the difference in whether or not you get the outcome you’re hoping for. There will be many compelling distractions, and you don’t need to ignore them—just don’t let them carry you away until you’ve done what you came to do.

MAY 19, 2011 29

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NEW: RECYCLE rock, concrete, asphalt, or dirt.

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by P.B. Sullivan Const., Inc. on site Mobile Crushing Service, 875-2833 ELECTRONICS RECYCLING Free drop off, Tues. & Sat. 9-1 Large loads call 573-4018 901 Lower Main St across from ILWU building.

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WAILEA AND MAKENA REAL ESTATE DEALS Heavily discounted opportunities. Prices from $469k and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Realtor 808-283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC

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