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MARCH 17, 2011


Contents VOLUME 14

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Where did you go during the tsunami? Editor: Jacob Shafer (808) 283-1308 / jacob@mauitime.com @jacobshafer on Twitter To get beer Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter To sleep Proofreader: Dina Wilson Interns: Henry Arroyo, Britney Kidd, Jane Solie, Anna Such Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Ben Lowenthal, Avery Monsen, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com To take pictures Art Director: Chris Skiles chris@mauitime.com / lucky11studios.com To the airport, then the office

ISSUE 39

5 NEWS & VIEWS Coconut Wireless talks education changes and judges’ pay. A dance bill moves forward in LC Watch. Open Letters looks down on an upstairs neighbor. Nuclear fallout hits Spin Cycle. Fart laws fill up News of the Weird. Quizunderstood asks about eathquake scales. Eh Brah! flushes out a mystery. Snap Shot goes fishing on South Kihei Road.

8 FEATURE STORY We survey the aftermath of the tsunami through numbers, pictures and firsthand accounts, and tell you how to report damage.

Graphic Designers: Shane Fontanilla, Christina Tarleton

13 FOOD & DRINK

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Swimming

Jen Russo does pau hana at Casanova Bistro and samples the week’s top foodie news.

General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter To the office Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown To the Mainland Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter On Twitter

17 A&E Anu Yagi puts on her classy hat for an Art Maui show.

18 FILM CRITIQUE Barry Wurst II says Battle: Los Angeles is not proof of intelligent life.

19 Film Capsules/Listings

20 THIS WEEK’S PICKS St. Patty’s Day shindigs, The Alliez in Kihei, comedian George Lopez at the MACC and a spa benefit on the West side.

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2010 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

22 Da Kine Calendar 23 Grid

28 BACK PAGES Kula Kid is taken with a hoax. Sign Language tells Taurus to lighten the load.

30 Classified 31 Mind, Body & Spirit

ON THE COVER: Photo of James Abraham Photo by Peter Liu Design by Chris Skiles

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MARCH 17, 2011


BY JACOB SHAFER

NEWS&VIEWS

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

Coconut Wireless Appointed BOE Becomes Law The days of Hawaii voters electing the state Board of Education are officially over. This week, Gov. Abercrombie signed a law that grants the governor power to appoint the board contingent on Senate approval. Of course, it’s not that citizens didn’t have a say—in November they voted for the change

Report: Hawaii Judges Have Lowest Pay Wielding a gavel may give you power, but if you live in Hawaii it doesn’t make you rich. That’s according to a new report from the National Center For State Courts (NCSC), which found that as of July 2010 the Aloha State’s judges rank dead last in pay,

First Round Of Omidyar-Funded Grants Trickle Out In 2009, eBay founder and Oahu resident

The Blog Roll

MAUIFEED.COM

As the extent of the devastation in Japan is revealed, and the crisis continues, it’s time for everyone to pitch in. One quick, simple way: text REDCROSS to 90999 to give $10 to the tsunami relief effort. Here’s a link to more info...

farmers and retailers and connect them to the consumer via a mobile platform”; Kanu Hawaii, which wants to offer “group discounts from companies screened for environmental and social practices” and funnel a portion of the proceeds to nonprofits; the Waianae Coast Comprehensive Health Center, whose goal is to work with community clinics and create an electronic database of diabetes patients, particularly in isolated communities; the Hawaii Conservation Technology Initiative, which thinks tech tools like “high-resolution aerial imaging” can benefit native-forest restoration efforts; and Community Harvest Hawaii, which hopes to collect food that would otherwise go to waste and distribute it to the needy. Applications for the next round of grants are being accepted through July 1; visit islandinnovation.org for more info. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1439c

What’s new at MauiTime’s blogs?

MAUIDISH.COM

On Sundays Buzz’s Wharf in Maalaea is offering kama‘aina 30 percent off everything, including booze and their exclusive, highly recommended Markea prawns. I tried a few...

DANCE

PHOTO BY JOI ITO

adjusted for cost of living. Hawaii’s high court judges earn $151,118 a year, intermediate appellate court judges earn $139,924 and generaljurisdiction trial judges earn $136,127. That ranks near the middle of the pack, but when the state’s high expenses are factored in local judges' pay plummets to 51st in the nation, behind every other state and the District of Columbia. Illinois was number one, with an adjusted average salary more than $100,000 higher than Hawaii, but the report found judges nationwide are feeling the pinch. “Stagnant tax revenue collections, brought on by decreased economic activity, continue to limit government spending,” wrote NCSC. “The impact on judicial salaries is clearly being felt throughout state court systems.”

ONE MORE

Pierre Omidyar (pictured below) and his wife, Pam, donated $50 million to the Hawaii Community Foundation (HCF). The result of that philanthropy was felt this week, as five local organizations were awarded nearly $500,000 from HCF’s newly created Island Innovation Fund. The recipients are: Lei Fresh, which aims “to leverage existing networks of

Wielding a gavel may give you power, but if you live in Hawaii it doesn’t make you rich. (though it lost in Maui County), and the legislature followed suit with a bill. During the campaign Abercrombie expressed only tepid support for an appointed BOE—the issue was used against him by his opponent, Duke Aiona—but in a statement accompanying the signing Abercrombie said the change “cleared the way for a new era of leadership for our public school system.” Under the new law, the nine-member BOE—which is responsible for overseeing the Department of Education and its $1.7 billion budget—will be composed of three representatives from Oahu, one each from Maui, Kauai and the Big Island and three at-large members. Abercrombie’s office said it’s still reviewing applications, and promised to select “diverse individuals with varying skills, talent and experience.” The governor has until April 1 to submit a list of names to the Senate. If you’re interested in applying, visit hawaii.gov/gov.

LCWATCH

NEWS BRIEFS

MAUIVENTS.COM

Comedian/ talk show host George Lopez is performing this Friday at the MACC, so we decided to dig up an old feud he had with Jay Leno. It started when Lopez publicly bashed Leno, calling him...

H

B1339 isn’t grabbing any headlines. It’s merely one of thousands of bills being considered on Oahu. Yet it’s still alive, and if it passes it’ll represent the culmination of a long, at times frustrating struggle. We first told you about Maui Dance Advocates (MDA) in 2007, when the group petitioned the Liquor Commission to change section 08-101-23 of its rules, which prohibit dancing in alcoholselling establishments except on specially marked dance floors. At the time, MDA was told by Commissioner Blackie Gadarian, “If you feel you’re being persecuted, find another island.” Instead, MDA took the matter to court but was rebuffed there, too, as Judge Joseph Cardoza ruled dancing is not a constitutionally protected right. In 2009 South Maui Rep. Joe Bertram introduced a bill on the group’s behalf that would have forced county liquor commissions to define “dancing.” That bill died in committee, but an almost-identical one—HB1339—was introduced this session by Upcountry Rep. Kyle Yamashita—and last week it passed the House unanimously. The only vocal opposition to the bill is coming, not surprisingly, from the Maui County Department of Liquor Control. In testimony provided to the House Judiciary Committee, department head Frank Silva said the LC “is not overzealous” in its enforcement of dancing restrictions. In fact, Silva claimed, “in at least the last 28 years the department has not filed a complaint against a licensee regarding this rule.” That this fact might actually bolster the bill’s case apparently didn’t occur to him. HB1339 is scheduled for a public hearing this week, meaning the Senate could vote on it soon. If it passes, it’ll be interesting to see whether the LC digs in its heels or finally relinquishes. It won’t make headlines either way, but you can read all about it right here. - JS

MARCH 17, 2011

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“This discussion reminds me, somewhat, of the conversations that were going on after the BP oil spill last year,” Sen. Mitch McConnell told Fox News last week. “I don’t think right after a major environmental catastrophe is a very good time to be making American domestic policy.” He was speaking, of course, about nuclear power, which has been getting its share of bad PR as Japan struggles to prevent a meltdown. McConnell isn’t alone; leading Democrats, including Sen. Chuck Schumer of New York, have made similar remarks. It begs the question: when is a good time to make domestic policy? Perhaps after a 10-year, $645 million lobbying campaign on the part of Big Nuclear? That figure comes from the Investigative Reporting Workshop at American University, which analyzed Congressional disclosure forms from 1999 to 2009. “In many ways, the nuclear power industry’s efforts to win support are a textbook case of how the influence game is played in Washington,” IRW wrote in its report. “Besides the money spent on lobbying and campaign contributions, the industry...has created a network of allies who give speeches, quote one another approvingly and showcase one another on their Web sites. The effect is an echo chamber of support for nuclear power.” - JS

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MARCH 17, 2011


BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

NEWS&VIEWS

chuck@mauitime.com +

EH BRAH!

NEWS OF THE WEIRD LAW AND ODOR The government of Malawi’s proposed environmental control legislation, introduced in January, was thought by some advocates to be broad enough to criminalize flatulence. The justice minister said the section about “fouling the air” should cover extreme flatus, but the country’s solicitor general insisted that only commercial air pollution was punishable.

GOD SPEED “I thought, ‘Man, is this what Jesus would do?’” said Akron, Ohio, repo man Ken Falzini, after surviving a short, harrowing ride clinging to the hood of the Lexus he was trying to repossess from Bishop Marc Neal of Akron’s Jerusalem Missionary Baptist Church in January. Neal, later charged with felony assault, told a reporter he thought it “disrespectful” for Falzini to try to repossess a preacher’s car during Sunday services. Falzini said Neal was “laughing” during parts of the drive, which included sharp zig-zagging at speeds around 50 mph to dislodge Falzini from the hood.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A BAD MOM WHEN... In Brooklyn, New York, Judge Bernard Graham recently awarded custody of an estranged couple’s teenage boy to the father—even though the father was at the time homeless and living from night to night in shelters and storefronts.

GENDER CONFUSION In January, Czech Television reported on a joyous but confusing family reunion featuring a woman (Ilona Tomeckova) who had become a man (Dominik Sejda), and

who had finally found love (in the person of Andrea Kajzarova, who was, before her own sex change, a bodybuilder named Tomas Kajzar). Dominik, motivated to reconnect with his original family, learned that the son he had given birth to (Radim) was himself undergoing a sex change (to become Viki).

TO THE DOGS Apathy is a problem with many homeowners' associations, but at the annual meeting of the Hillbrook-Tall Oaks Civic Association of Annandale, Virginia, in June, 50 people sleepily voted for Ms. Beatha Lee as president, thus electing (in a legitimate, by-the-book process) a Wheaten terrier belonging to former association officer Mark Crawford. Crawford said that Beatha, as a manager, "delegates a lot."

Eh guy who used the restaurant bathroom right before me (no need to say what restaurant or even town, because you know who you are): are you an alien? For real. I’ve never seen something that color come out of someone’s body before. I’m into aliens—seen all the movies—so if you are, that’d be super exciting. Or maybe you’re a leprechaun. It is almost St. Patty’s Day. That’d be cool too; you could lead me to your pot of gold. If you’re not an alien or a leprechaun, though, I have a little piece of advice: go see a doctor. Quick. That ain’t natural, brah. Oh, also: flush the damn toilet.

INCOMPETENT CRIMINALS (1) To conceal an arrest warrant for auto theft, Amos Ashley, 62, told traffic-stop officers in Lawrenceburg, Indiana, in February that he was (as he wrote on a paper for them) “Rorth Taylor.” “Pronounce it,” ordered a trooper. “Robert Taylor.” “Spell it once more, please.” “R-e-r-e-r-t,” wrote Ashley. “And ‘Taylor’?” “T-a-y-l-o-e-r.” Several more attempts followed, until Ashley finally admitted his name and was arrested. (2) Police in Princess Anne, Maryland, arrested George Ballard, 25, inside a PNC Bank at 11pm on January 25 after a motion detector sounded. Officers said the “cash” Ballard was in the process of taking was in fact a stack of fake bills the bank uses for training. ■

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

SNAP SHOT

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1439n

QUIZunderstood 1. Seismologist Charles Richter (pictured) invented a scale for measuring earthquakes that was used until 1979, when it was replaced by what?

2. What celebrity tweeted, in the wake of the tsunami, “I had to evacuate all my hoes from LA, Hawaii and Japan”?

3. What men’s college basketball team won both the November Maui Invitational and, last week, the Big East tournament in New York, prompting one player to call it, “Maui in Manhattan”?

PHOTO BY KAIMANA NAKAMURA

High and Dry Resident Kaimana Nakamura was riding his bike along South Kihei Road the morning after the tsunami when he spotted this out-of-its-element puffer fish, one of many creatures that washed ashore around the island.

See answers, page 29

MARCH 17, 2011

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PHOTO BY PETER LIU (@peterliu47)

MARCH 10 STARTED—AND NEARLY ENDED—LIKE ANY OTHER DAY IN HAWAII.

I

t was already dark and many had gone home for the evening when the word came in: a massive earthquake had rocked the ocean floor off the coast of Japan and sent a tsunami cascading across the country’s northeastern

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MARCH 17, 2011

region. And, officials cautioned, the rest of the Pacific was at risk. We’d been through this before, most recently last February when an 8.8 temblor shook Chile and triggered a tsunami warning for Hawaii. That threat didn’t materialize, but it was a good wake-up call. And so—even as heartbreaking images of destruction flashed across TV screens and social media sites lit up with the

latest reports of devastation—Maui and the rest of the state waited. In the wee hours of the morning, just after 3am, it arrived. Not the wall of water that wreaked havoc in Japan, but enough to breach seawalls, smash harbors and flood homes. Fortunately evacuation procedures were followed, and no deaths or serious injuries were reported. We were left with, as Maui County Communications Director Rod

Antone told a national news reporter, “a mess, not a disaster.” The people of Japan weren’t so lucky, and their nightmare is far from over. We offer our condolences and support, and encourage you to give to the relief effort if you can. Meanwhile, here’s a look at the aftermath of the 2011 tsunami on Maui—a day we’ll all remember, but thankfully one we’ll be able to move beyond.


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1

By the

NUMBERS 1 and 2 Sunken boats and other damage at Maalaea Harbor; 3 and 4 A Paukukalo home inundated with debris; 5 A large chunk of diftwood washed up on Linekona Place in Kahului

Tsunami Stories oe Imhoff was supposed to be packing for a trip to the Mainland and boarding a flight. Instead, he found himself driving from Olinda to Lahaina with a friend to save a sailboat from possible destruction. Imhoff says he passed the lines of cars waiting for gas and the clogged grocery store parking lots and heard the wail of the sirens, but still wasn’t convinced a tsunami was actually coming. “I’ll admit I might have been a little lackadaisical,” he says. “I remembered last time, and how we’d taken the boat out and nothing happened.” Yet he went to the harbor anyway, and headed out aboard the craft at around 2:30am. “We were some of the last people to leave,” remembers Imhoff. He says he tuned into the marine radio but was “blown away” by the lack of information or updates. So, as he and his friend bobbed in the water and waited, he turned to Twitter and Facebook. Once word came in that the wave had come and gone, Imhoff says they headed back in. “I knew from my iPhone the [tsunami] had hit, but I still wasn’t expecting it to be that bad,” he says. “But as we got close I noticed that the buoy lights were in an odd position—and then we got a whiff of the smell, like really foul sewage.” Imhoff says the harbor was a mess. “Everything that could float was floating—

debris, wood, coolers,” he recalls. “The boats that stayed in the harbor got trashed.” A crowd of tourists had gathered to watch the show, and Imhoff says that after he and his friend caught a ride in with a dinghy—the surges and shallowness prevented them from docking the sailboat—the curious onlookers helped pull him back onto dry land. “Mostly I feel sorry for the people who lost their boats,” says Imhoff. “It’d be nice if they had some way of helping people who can’t get them out or who aren’t on-island.” In South Maui, Kihei resident Myron Higashi was more concerned about sewage overflow. “Between Times Supermarket and Foodland, get sewage water running all down the road, into the drainage ditch and out into the ocean,” describes Higashi, who contacted MauiTime the day after the tsunami. “People stay walking all around the puddles of sewage. It’s unhealthy.” And, Higashi adds, it’s not just public health that’s at risk. “Over by St. Theresa’s Church is some of the best ogo [seaweed] grounds on Maui. It going take months for it to recover, with all the pollution. They could have prevented this, but kind of too late now.” Kahului resident Louise Ruiz was eight years old in 1946, when her neighborhood was hit by a tsunami. “All the houses down the street went,” she remembers. “Had plenty old houses at the time, kind of Army houses, kind of a wood you could poke though like that. When we had the tidal

4

2

J

wave, we looked out and had all the houses floating on the water. When they came to tell us what was going on, we didn’t even know nothing until we saw the houses floating on the water like that. So we don’t think nothing, we just go.” Ruiz’s Paukukalo home—the only one she’s ever lived in—was spared in ’46 and again last week. “Maybe it’s luck, maybe it’s Jesus,” she says. “We’re church people and pray a lot, maybe that’s one of the reasons.” Having lived through multiple close 5 calls, Ruiz says she’s grateful for improved alert systems, which this time allowed her to evacuate early and go to a friend’s house in Happy Valley. “Before, they didn’t give you the kind of warning like they give you now,” she says. “Before, you never knew until someone came tell you. Now days you know because people put it on the news, stuff like that. Sometimes, people grumble. They say they’re telling us too early or something. I don’t know why people grumble. If they tell you early, don’t grumble, just do what they tell you to do.”

Scan this QR code to see video of another Kahului resident, one of Ruiz’s neighbors, whose house was flooded with more than a foot of mud and water: » STORY CONTINUED ON PAGE 11

9.0

Magnitude of the March 10 earthquake that devastated Japan and triggered the Pacific tsunami

3 6-7 feet

Number of earthquakes since 1900 that were larger

Height of surges detected at Kahului Harbor

PHOTOS BY MAUITIME , SEAN MICHAEL HOWER & JOHN ORSBUN

11-12 feet $3 million Height of surges detected at Napo‘opo‘o on the Big Island

Initial estimate of the statewide damage; the figure has since been revised to “tens of millions”

0

Number of deaths known to have been caused in Hawaii by the tsunami

Sources: U.S. Geological Survey, Pacific Tsunami Warning Center, Office of the Governor

MARCH 17, 2011

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Going Social

@jacobshafer and @anuheayagi), read our breaking news blog (mauifeed.com), engage us and help us keep you informed in times of turmoil and uncertainty.

W

hen did you first hear about the events in Japan and the threat to Hawaii? And, once you heard, how did you follow the latest developments? If your answer is anything other than Twitter, Facebook or another social media outlet, chances are you weren’t getting the most current information. As the tsunami hit Hawaii under cover of darkness and news agencies scrambled to stay current, social media was once again at the forefront, churning out thousands of updates from official sources and eyewitness accounts via the hash tag #HITsunami to paint a picture of a fast-moving event. TV news broadcasts at both the local and national level frequently supplemented their coverage with tweets from the public or interviews with people whose names they’d found on Twitter, while Maui County relied heavily on its Facebook page to push out warnings and notifications. Of course, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Previous events—from natural disasters to political uprisings—have revealed the unparalleled ability of social media to quickly and effectively relay information in real time. Sure, it’s important to sift reliable news from wild speculation, but overall the #HITsunami stream was a consistent and dependable source that spread and increased awareness and quite possibly saved property and even lives. As ever, the MauiTime crew did its best to stay on the cusp via these new media platforms, with Twitter and blog posts and live streaming video of the tsunami’s aftermath. We encourage you to follow us (@mauitime, @tommyrusso, @jenrusso,

Report Damage

T

hrough Friday, March 18, the County is asking anyone who experienced property damage during the tsunami to report it to the Civil Defense Agency. Reporting damage doesn’t guarantee assistance, but it will help determine if Maui qualifies for federal aid and, the County says, could lead to changes to flood zone and evacuation maps. “As anyone can see by what is happening in Japan, we can no longer leave anything to chance,” says Mayor Arakawa. “So please fill out these forms as soon as possible.” To fill out the damage assessment survey or to get more information, visit mauicounty.gov. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1439a 4

1 A panoramic view of the high water mark on Linekona Place; 2 and 3 More home damage in Paukukalo; 4 Lifeguard Cameron Layer at Ho’okipa, the day after the tsunami 2

MARCH 17, 2011 11






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FOOD & DRINK

BY JEN RUSSO jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

Pau Hana Swimming through Maui’s watering holes Bistro Casanova 33 Lono Ave., Kahului; 873-3650 LOCATION: Kahului, next to Central Pacific Bank, on the corner of Lono Avenue and Kaahumanu Avenue. DECOR: There is a no-frills elegance here, blue and cream hues evoke ocean and beach, reminding you that despite the hustle and bustle of Central Maui you’re near the harbor. Look up and gaze at the beautiful ceiling murals reflected over the glass-topped tables, or turn your attention to the Piero Resta paintings. It’s a great conversation starter, or a way to spend the time waitng for your drinks and food. HOW TO SAY “HAPPY HOUR” IN ITALIAN: Ora dell’ aperitivo. It’s customary to meet for “aperitivo” in Italy, a tradition of stimulating the appetite (the practice of meeting for drinks in the evening before meals dates back to the Romans). You can also say “Facciamoci un aperitivo” (“Let’s have an aperitif”); it’s a casual hookup line. The Latin root of the word “aperire” means to begin, to open. Prosecco is a common aperitivo drink. Also common: having so much fun in aperitivo that you skip dinner.

ENTERTAINMENT: Saturday night lounge music with vocalist and piano player Louise Lambert, 9pm to 11pm. GRINDS: Tapas start at 3pm and on Friday and Saturday night go through 11pm. The tapas menu changes, but you’ll find oysters, pastas, crepes, soups and salads. The fritti are incredible. Dinner entrees include pastas, ossobuco and paella, plus the only great steak in Kahului. Lunch is 11am to 2:30pm. The full dinner menu is available from 5pm to 9:30pm Monday through Saturday. They run a MACC special: whenever there’s major show you can get guaranteed delivery of the main course 15 minutes after ordering; it’s $25 per person for a three-course prix fixe menu. And Iao Theatre is offering a Cats dinner and show special for $40, with all Iao and MACC ticket-holders getting happy hour prices at the bar after the show. HAPPY HOURS: 4-6pm DRINK SPECIALS: $1 off beer, $5 carafes of chianti, pinot grigio, mojitos and margaritas. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1439d2

PHOTOS BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

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FOOD & DRINK

BY JEN RUSSO jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

Foodie Roundup A resort revamp, anti-radiation food and St. Patty’s Day grinds (and booze)

T

Mixologist Joey Go ttesman

L HOWER

W

ith the ongoing nuclear crisis in Japan, there is a lot of concern about the level of radiation that may be traveling in the air. First off, experts say the risk for Hawaii and the Mainland remains low, but for those who take the “better safe than sorry” route, potassium iodine pills—which have flown off shelves— aren’t the only option.

The iodine pills workk by saturating your thyroid oid with stable iodine and keeping out radioactive particles. You can get a similar benefit via a number of foods, including spirulina, chorella, kelp and algaes, miso, beans, cabbage, seaweed and sea vegetables, plus potassium-, calcium- and mineral-rich foods. You can buy Hawaiian-made spirulina,

PHOTOS BY SEAN MIC HAE

he Royal Lahaina Resort was built in 1962 and is still going strong as a West side destination. Nestled along the Kaanapali strip, but on the Honokowai side of Black Rock, and full of old school charm, the resort has recently stepped up its entertainment and committed to a concert series kicking off with Five for Fighting in April and Toad the Wet Sprocket in May. Their latest announcement is the renovation of their lawns, and the opening of the Oceanfront Barefoot Bar. “The time was right to update the existing bar and refurbish our beautiful expanse of oceanfront lawn,” says Gary Hogan, president of Hawaiian Hotels and Resorts. “Interestingly, the shuffleboard court was brought back to life after years of dormancy…now our guests are loving the chance to get up and play bocce ball and shuffleboard while enjoying a fresh hand mixed drink or cold draft beer.” The Oceanfront Barefoot Bar is a perfect place to take a pau hana retreat; I don’t think there’s ’s a bar with better views of the beach and ocean. Turn down to Keka‘a Drive by the Fairway Shops and hang a right, and head ad to the self-parking area, or go valet. Kick the shoes off and enjoy joy their handcrafted sangria with pineapple and Bacardi gold, or a lovely mixture of coconut cream, m, basil and Ocean Vodka. “If it’s your first time visitingg definitely try a mango margarita,” a,” recommends director of operations Tom Bell. “The sweetness of the mango coupled with the heat from the fresh serrano chili is over-the-top refreshing. Pair that with our pupus like the seared ahi tacos served on a crispy shell with ancho chili, or mahi cakes with ginger and Maui onion.” Local liquor laws prevents you from wandering off with your drink, but we’d also recommend leaving your cocktail behind and heading off for a dip in the ocean, the perfect end to any (responsible) imbibing excursion.

had and ha ad the great fortune to work with David Paul at Diamond Head Grill,” says Morgan Winery’s Elise Faur. “I know Morga how important food and wine pairing is i for him. him We cannot conceive of a better way to t showcase our wines than to pair them with David’s cuisine. This is how it should shoul be.” Indeed.

F

bell of Gary hogan & Tom d resorts an ls te ho n hawaiia called Spirulina Pacifica (pictured), at health food stores islandwide. It’s excellent sprinkled on popcorn.

P

lanning a little St. Patty’s Day fun this Thursday? I’ll be at Mulligan’s gan’s on the Blue at 11am to see Trevor revor Jones. Thursday evening Roy’s will be hosting a beer-pairing dinner er with their delightful Guinness cornbeef. Not into meat? Chef Doug McNish is taking organic vegan cooking to the next level in a chef demo at Whole Foods at 7pm. Later in the week, Chef David Paul’s second installment of the Vineyard Dining Series features an alluring multi-course dinner paired with Morgan Wines on Thursday. “I lived in Hawaii for 11 years

i inally, heads up for next week FFriday: Fresh!, the spring cocktail party of the season, is at I‘o on p the B Beach at 505 Front Street. Look forward to farm-fresh fruits and herbs forw hooking up with booze under the hoo direction of Chef James McDonald. dire Party Part starts at 8pm with pupus, no reservations needed, $30. ■ rese

Got a ho hot food scoop? Contact Jen Russo at 280-3286 or fax to 244-0446. To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1439d For m more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog: Maui mauidish.com mau

TUNE IN To 97.3 K-Rock during the A Train with Johnny A at 5:20pm every Friday for Jen Russo’s tastings of the week.

MARCH 17, 2011 15


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Locals and visitors depend on MauiTime to find out “Where to Go” and “What to Eat.” Our upcoming special FOOD ISSUE is YOUR chance to reach MauiTime’s exclusive readership. Remember, people just like you and your employees refer restaurants to visitors and other locals every day. Be on the tip of their tongue as our island’s busy season rolls around. Don’t miss your chance to be part of this very special FOOD ISSUE.

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BY ANU YAGI

A&E

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Gallery Of Delights Annual visual art showcase brings together the best of Maui’s creative community Art Maui March 6 - April 2, 11am-5pm and before Castle Theater events, plus during intermission Schaefer International Gallery, MACC mauiarts.org; 242-2787

By The Slice by Kirk Kurokawa

P

ry open the glass doors of the 4,000-squarefoot Schaefer International Gallery and the mood engulfs you. Contemplative footsteps on wooden floors echo amidst whispered musings and the happy labor of rods and cones. An acrid tinge of whitewash still lingers from the gallery walls’ fresh coat, now home (until April 2) to a curated collection of over 100 new works—in almost every medium— created exclusively by Maui County artists. Wandering through any art showcase is a brain buffet, and Art Maui is no exception—the annual juried exhibition is an institution. Since 1979, this prestigious showcase has been “made possible through the purchases of artworks by patrons and the Hawaii State Foundation on Culture and the Arts, artists’ entry fees, the generous support of donors and sponsors and the efforts of hundreds of volunteers.” Featuring 139 works by 126 artists (selected from nearly 600 submissions), the 2011 Art Maui exhibition reflects our motley Maui aesthetic, rendered by the hands of some of our isle’s most talented fine artists. Entry is open to all Maui County residents over the age of 18, and all works “must be original and have been created within the last two years independently and without supervision.” There’s no prize but

Plastic Safety Net by Forrest Treadwell

ALBUM OF THE WEEK 3 2 1

4 5 6 7

8 9 10

8 of 10

ZION I & THE GROUCH Heroes in the Healing Nation (Om Records; 2011).

the privilege of selection, though pieces are often snatched up by collectors, including the illustrious Hawaii State Foundation on Culture and the Arts (HSFCA). In Art Maui’s 33 years, it has fostered a longstanding collaboration with HSFCA’s Art in Public Places program and its mission “to promote, perpetuate, preserve and encourage culture and the arts, history and the humanities as central to the quality of life of the people of Hawaii.” Last year, a whimsically scientific scratchboard composition titled “Roots” by Crystal Jean Baranyk, caught the eye of the HSFCA’s panel, with its hyper-detailed stylization of Hawaiian flora and fauna

carefully knife-etched through India ink into a thin layer of hue-saturated clay. “Roots” was purchased by HSFCA and will be on display at the Hawaii State Art Museum’s “New Acquisitions” showcase later this year, along with three other pieces purchased from the 2010 Art Maui show. This year, Jonathan Y. Clark’s “Nighmare and Triumph: Momotaro Retold” is among those being added to HSFCA’s permanent collection. If you’ve seen Clark’s other work (like his showpiece in The Essence of Maui exhibit last year, also at the Schaefer Gallery), “Nightmare and Triumph” not only displays his skill for capturing the tricky malleability of fabric on the human form but again exemplifies this 23-yearold’s penchant for triptych expression of folklore, with Japanese and Hawaiian motifs indelibly intertwined. In “By The Slice” by Kirk Kurokawa, delicate afternoon light on a keiki’s ehu locks is painted with a mastery that even a photographic lens might miss. Conceptual Sumi-e brush strokes strike an impossible balance between stark and soft in M. Takemoto’s “Wabi Sabi V,” which—to a leuk survivor like me—conjures a moving semiosis of white blood cells in motion. Be it in silver work, blooming glass sculpture, turned wood, ticking clocks, quilted fiber, fired clay, molded metal—or anything else offered at Art Maui—step past the gallery threshold and I guarantee you’ll find something that moves you. ■

Oakland hip-hop duo Zion I has again teamed up with fellow Bay Area boy (and current Maui resident) The Grouch to give us a diverse new album. Heroes in the Healing Nation (set to drop on March 22) picks up where their last compilation—Heroes in a City of Dope—left off and offers something for everyone. “Healing of the Nation” is amped with a solid punk rock-style beat. “Journey To Forever,” on the other hand, has a mellowed reggae beat and a prominent saxophone reminiscent of experimental Clash records. Meanwhile, some of the great tracks emphasize electronic music. “Rockit Man” combines heavy bass and synths with soulful backup singers. “Drop It on the 1” has a heavy dubstep influence, which makes it one of the highlights. The MCs discuss the joys of having a family in “Test of Time,” while “Be A Father to Your Child” speaks directly to younger men who are on the verge of shirking their paternal responsibilities. One of the most entertaining songs, “I Used to Be A Vegan,” takes aim at the New Age lifestyle. (“Cayenne, ginger, a side shot of garlic/walk around town breath smell like a toilet/he said he vegetarian but now he eatin’ chili/with a hot link sausage/come ‘on, homie, really?”). This is a feel-good album that avoids being sappy and proves you can be tough and sensitive at the same time. It’s hip-hop for people who like to think. - Ben Lowenthal All albums reviewed are available at Maui’s only record store, Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-9315)

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MARCH 17, 2011 17


BY BARRY WURST II

FILM

barry@mauitime.com

Spaced Out Aliens invaded my city and all I got was this mindless movie Battle: Los Angeles

★★★★★

Rated PG13/117 min.

W

hen George Lucas made Star Wars, he said he was influenced by the Flash Gordon serials of his youth, Arthunian legend and the need to tell a great story. Then there’s Jonathan Liebesman, director of Battle: Los Angeles, who seems to have been influenced by watching too many Michael Bay movies while downing Red Bull. Aaron Eckhart stars as a war-scarred soldier leading a team of Marines against a massive-scale ambush on the California coast by a swarm of aliens (as in from outer space, not illegal immigrants). This must be at least the fifth cinematic alien attack on Los Angeles over the last 15 years, so you’d think they’d be prepared. After about five minutes, tops, of setting

up the characters, we’re in the middle of some intense, relentless action sequences. Standoffs in abandoned buildings and in the middle of deserted city streets result in close encounters with well-armed and slimy opponents. An inspired touch is not giving us a clear glimpse of the aliens initially, making the blurry footage captured by news teams especially creepy. It’s all very loud, frantic and heartpounding initially, until you realize the movie has nowhere else to go. Once a nice couple is rescued (played by Michael Pena and Bridget Moynahan, great actors who aren’t given much to do) and we figure out the aliens’ anatomy, all that’s left are big explosions followed by even bigger explosions. Eckhart, looking older and nearly Schwarzenegger-buff, isn’t asked to do much more than fire a gun and outrun fireballs, which he does well. Michelle Rodriguez pops up as a tough soldier; she’s such a perfect fit for the role, you wonder if the screenwriter described the character this way: “Elena is strong, Latina, empowered, and…oh, just

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have Michelle Rodriguez play it!” OK, I lied. Eckhart does get to do something else: deliver not one, but two inspirational speeches that stop the film cold. Sure it’s a break from the carnage, but even monotonous action is preferable to shallow speechifying. I won’t spoil the ending, except to say it’s unlikely that any 2011 movie will have a sillier closing line than, “We’re done with breakfast, sir!” A reported $70 million was spent on

this epic, the first of a sure-fire franchise that will no doubt include Battle: Denver, Battle: Walla Walla and, finally, Battle: Makawao Town. Oh, and while we’re talking locations—the film wasn���t even shot in L.A., but rather Louisiana. If you’re looking for action, you got it. Plot, character, good dialogue and plausibility? We lose, the aliens win. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1439f


Showtimes FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Adjustment Bureau - PG13 - THU (2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 9:55. Battle: Los Angeles - PG13 - THU (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 10:00. FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:00, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:15, 7:00, 9:50. MON-WED (1:30, 4:15), 7:00, 9:50. Hall Pass - R - THU (1:45), 7:10. Just Go With It - PG13 - THU (2:00), 7:15. Limitless - PG13 - FRI (2:00, 4:40), 7:10, 9:40. SAT-SUN (2:00), 4:40, 7:10, 9:40. MON-WED (2:00), 4:40), 7:10, 9:40. The Lincoln Lawyer - R - FRI (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. MON-WED (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. Paul - R - FRI (2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 9:55. SAT-SUN (2:30), 5:000, 7:30, 9:55. MONWED (2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 9:55. Take Me Home Tonight - R - THU (4:45), 9:50. Unknown - PG13 - THU (4:15), 9:40.

KAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;AHUMANU 6 Queen Kaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Adjustment Bureau - PG13 - THU 11:00, 12:00, 1:20, 2:20, 3:40, 4:40, 6:00, 7:00, 8:20, 9:20. FRI-SAT 11:00, 12:00, 1:20, 2:20, 3:40, 4:40, 6:00, 7:00, 8:20, 9:20, 10:40. SUN-WED 11:00, 12:00, 1:20, 2:20, 3:40, 4:40, 6:00, 7:00, 8:20, 9:20. Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son - PG13 - THU 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. FRI-WED 11:45, 2:10, 4:35, 7:05, 9:25. Hall Pass - R - THU 11:05, 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 9:55. FRI-WED 11:05, 1:15, 3:30, 5:35, 7:45, 9:55. Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (3D) - G - THU 12:05, 2:25. Mars Needs Moms (2D) - PG - THU 12:05, 2:05, 4:10, 6:15, 8:25. FRI-SAT 11:15, 1:25, 3:30, 5:30, 7:35, 9:40. SUN-WED 11:15, 1:25, 3:30, 5:30, 7:35. Mars Needs Moms (3D) - PG - THU 11:00, 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20, 9:25. FRI-WED 12:15.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Battle: Los Angeles - PG13 - THU-SAT 11:35, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35. SUN 11:35, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05. MON-WED 1:10, 3:45, 6:15, 8:50. The Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Speech - R - THU 12:05, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15, 9:40. The Lincoln Lawyer - R - FRI-SAT 11:25, 2:00, 4:40, 7:10, 9:45. SUN 11:25, 2:00, 4:40, 7:10. MON-WED 1:00, 3:35, 6:10, 8:45. Paul - R - FRI-SAT 12:05, 2:25, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40. SUN 2:25, 4:45, 7:15. MON-WED 1:20, 3:40, 6:00, 8:20. Rango - PG - THU 12:00, 2:20, 4:40, 7:00, 9:20.

Schaefer International Gallery

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

Red Riding Hood - PG13 - THU-SAT 11:00, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:00, 10:15. SUN 11:00, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:00. MON-WED 11:00, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:00.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) Battle: Los Angeles - PG13 - THU 1:30, 2:00, 4:10, 4:40), 6:50, 7:20, 9:30, 10:00. FRI (1:30, 2:00, 4:10, 4:40), 6:50, 7:20, 9:30, 9:55. SAT-SUN (1:30, 2:00), 4:10, 4:40, 6:50, 7:20, 9:30, 9:55. MON-TUE (1:30, 2:00), 4:10, 6:50, 7:20, 9:30, 9:55. WED (1:30, 4:10, 4:40), 6:50, 9:30. Beastly - PG13 - THU-FRI (12:35, 2:45, 4:55), 7:05, 9:15. SAT-SUN (12:35, 2:45), 4:55, 7:05, 9:15. MON-WED (2:45, 4:55), 7:05, 9:15. Carmen (3D) - PG13 - WED (1:30), 7:30. Cedar Rapids - R - THU (12:00, 2:14, 4:30), 6:45, 9:00. FRI (12:15, 2:30, 4:45), 7:10, 9:35. SAT-SUN (12:15, 2:30), 4:45, 7:00, 9:15. MON-WED (2:30, 4:45), 7:00, 9:15. Drive Angry (3D) - R - THU 8:55. Gnomeo & Juliet (3D) - G - THU (2:25, 4:35), 6:45, 8:55. FRI (12:15, 2:25, 4:35), 6:45. SAT-SUN (12:25, 2:25), 4:35, 6:45. MON-WED (2:25, 4:35), 6:45. I Am Number Four - PG13 - THU (1:35, 4:10), 6:45, 9:20. FRI-WED 8:55. Just Go With It - PG13 - THU (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. FRI (1:35, 4:10), 6:45, 9:20. SAT-SUN (1:35), 4:10, 6:45, 9:20. MON-WED (1:35, 4:10), 6:45, 9:20. Limitless - PG13 - FRI (12:10, 2:35, 5:00), 7:25, 9:50. SAT-SUN (12:10), 2:35), 5:00, 7:25, 9:50. MON-WED (2:35, 5:00), 7:25, 9:50. The Lincoln Lawyer - R - FRI (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. MON-WED (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. Paul - R - FRI (12:00, 2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 9:55. SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:30), 5:00, 7:30, 9:55. MON-WED (2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 9:55. Rango - PG - THU (12:00, 1:20, 2:30, 4:05, 5:00), 6:40, 7:30, 9:15, 10:00. FRI (12:00,1:30, 2:30, 4:05, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:00, 1:30, 2:30), 4:05, 5:00, 7:30, 10:00. MON-WED (1:30, 2:30, 4:05, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00. Red Riding Hood - PG13 - THU (12:15, 2:40, 5:05), 7:30, 9:55. FRI (12:05, 2:20, 4:45), 7:10, 9:35. SAT-SUN (12:05, 2:20), 4:45, 7:10, 9:35. MON-WED (2:20, 4:45), 7:10, 9:35. Take Me Home Tonight - R - THU (12:05, 2:25, 4:50), 7:15, 9:40. Unknown - PG13 - THU (1:40, 4:20), 7:00, 9:40. FRI-WED 6:40, 9:20.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Mars Needs Moms (2D) - PG - THU-FRI (2:05, 4:35), 7:05, 9:35. SAT-SUN (2:05), 4:35, 7:05, 9:35. MON-WED (2:05, 4:35), 7:05, 9:35. Rango - PG - THU-FRI (1:50, 4:30), 7:10, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:50), 4:30, 7:10, 9:50. MON-WED (1:50, 4:30), 7:10, 9:50. Red Riding Hood - PG13 - THU-FRI (2:10, 4:45), 7:15, 9:45. SAT-SUN (2:10), 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. MON-WED (2:10, 4:45), 7:15, 9:45.

New This Week LIMITLESS - PG 13 - Drama - A writer takes a drug that gives him limitless power. Sounds a lot like the MauiTime editorial department, minus the limitless power bit. 120 min. THE LINCOLN LAWYER - R - Drama - A slimeball attorney (Matthew McConaughey) finds his conscience. Needless to say, not based on a true story. 119 min. PAUL - R - Comedy - An alien who sounds a lot like Seth Rogen goes on a road trip with two extra terrestrial-obsessed dorks. 104 min.

salesman heads to Iowa for a convention and hilarity somehow ensues. Ed Helms stars. 86 min. DRIVE ANGRY - R - Action - A man (Nicolas Cage) escapes from Hell to save his infant daughter. But, like, literally. Co-stars the Devil. 104 min. GNOMEO & JULIET - G - Animated - Just like the Bardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s star-crossed masterpiece, only with anthropomorphic lawn decorations. 96 min. HALL PASS - R - Comedy - Two dudes are given a

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU - PG13 - Drama - A politician (Matt Damon) wants to run away with a girl (Emily Blunt) but the guys in suits who control everything have other plans. 106 min.

JUST GO WITH IT - PG13 - Comedy - Adam Sandler concocts a scheme involving two hot chicks and a trip to Maui. Rough life. 116 min.

MARS NEEDS MOMS - PG - Animated - But does Earth need another so-so kiddie flick? 88 min. RANGO - PG - Animated - Johnny Depp channels a shifty Wild West lizard. Oh, and he does a voice in this movie, too. 122 min.

BEASTLY - PG13 - Fantasy - Sure the 1991 animated adaptation of Beauty and the Beast was a classic, but you know what it was missing? One of the Olsen twins. 95 min.

RED RIDING HOOD - PG 13 - Fantasy - You see how they dropped the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Littleâ&#x20AC;?? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard core. 100 min.

BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER LIKE SON - PG 13 - Comedy - Martin Lawrence squeezes into the fat suit one more time before passing the torch to a new generation of sellout comics. 108 min.

CEDAR RAPIDS - R - Comedy - An insurance

I AM NUMBER FOUR - PG13 - Sci. Fi. - An alien high school student struggles with bullies, girls and a super race determined to destroy him. Been there. 110 min.

THE KINGâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SPEECH - R - Drama - A stuttering monarch finds his voice in time to call out Hitler. Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush star (neither as Hitler). 118 min.

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES - PG13 - Sci-Fi - You know the drill: killer aliens, recognizable landmarks getting blown up, small band of survivors, long odds, etc. 117 min.

CARMEN - PG13 - Musical - Man, it seems like theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve shot everything in 3D except an iconic opera adapted from an Alexander Pushkin poem. Oh. Never mind. 170 min.

no-strings week off from their wives, and somehow manage to get into trouble. The Farrelly brothers direct. 98 min.

JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER - G Concert, Documentary - This is normally where weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d insert the obligatory Justin Bieber joke, but you know what? Biebs has it hard enough. That hair doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t muss itself. 105 min.

NOW SHOWING

TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT - R - Comedy - A tight-ass college kid enjoys a wild weekend that sadly doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pay off his massive student loans. The tightass kid from That â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;70s Show stars. 113 min.

The Lincoln Lawyer

OPEN EVERY DAY 11 am-5 pm

UNKNOWN- PG 13 - Thriller - A doctor with a stolen identity does what anyone would do in that situation if they were Liam Neesonâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;kick a bunch of ass. 109 min.

33rd Annual

ART MAUI Mar 6 - Apr 2

UPCOMING SHOWS â&#x20AC;&#x153;I Can Never Do Nuthinâ&#x20AC;? Tour

GEORGE LOPEZ

)5, Â&#x2021; MA5  Â&#x2021; &aVWOH Â&#x2021;  pP Peace Love â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Ukulele

JAKE SHIMABUKURO 6A7 Â&#x2021; MA5  Â&#x2021; &aVWOH Â&#x2021;  pP One of the MACCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Favorite Series

SOLO SESSIONS: JOHN CRUZ

6A7 Â&#x2021; MA5 26 Â&#x2021; MF&R\ Â&#x2021;  pP Contemporary Dance

ASZURE BARTON & ARTISTS

7+85 Â&#x2021; MA5  Â&#x2021; &aVWOH Â&#x2021;  pP Box Office: 10 AM - 3M Â&#x2021; MO1 - SAT

242-SHOW .MauiArts. 7469 

WWW

ORG

The Maui Arts & Cultural Center is a 501(c)3 nRnSrRĂ&#x20AC;t RrJani]atiRn PaGe SRssiEle E\ the JenerRsit\ RI SeRSle ZhR lRYe Maui

LAGEom L I V 1945 S KIHEI RD, KALAMAulusmaui.c 879-9944 Â&#x201E; l

LULUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ST. PATRICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

DAY PARTY 5PM-CLOSING

CHEF SPECIAL

FRESH CORNED BEEF DINNER

GREEN MARGARITAS

& ICE COLD GREEN BEER

A NIGHT OF HOT SALSA DANCING GO GREEN AT LULUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MARCH 17, 2011 19


PICKS

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

Sombriety Checkpoint

Lopez Dispenser

Thursday (March 17), islandwide

Friday (March 18), 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, $42.50 / $57.50

It’s been less than a week since the March 10 earthquakes and tsunamis devastated Japan and shocked the world. Naturally, everyone is still somber and sobered by the events. So this St. Patty’s Day, I’ve been wondering—how can I don my bright green fancy pants and beer goggle glasses in good conscience? What good is slurring, “Another Guinness (hiccup), please” at a time like this? The fine folks at Mulligan’s on the Blue (874-1131) are helping alleviate some of that guilt by donating a portion of their tips to the American Red Cross relief effort. And $3 from the sale of every St. Patty’s Day T-shirt (made by Mulligan’s own Darren Sarno) will also benefit the Red Cross. Be sure to take advantage of the free shuttle between Mulligan’s and fellow Irish pub Dog & Duck (875-9669) for more mean, green festivities. Plus, neighboring Ambrosia (891-1011) hosts a provocative St. Patty’s party, as will D&D’s sister location, Diamonds Ice Bar (874-9299). Upcountry, the Kit Kat Club Cabaret brings more lusty luck to Casanova (572-0220), and if you stick around until Saturday, you can attend a benefit for Japan with Inna Vision and Super Dub 5.

In the 1993 movie Demolition Man, it’s the year 2032 and Sly Stallone’s dethawing after 36 years in a cryogenic deep freeze. Helping him catch up on world events is Sandra Bullock, who tells Stallone of the Schwarzenegger Presidential Library. OK. Arnold isn’t Commander-in-Chief, but the Governator was at Cahleefornya’s helm—and is inspiring other actors to bid for elected office, too. Late last December, on Good Day LA, comedian George Lopez announced his intent to run for mayor of Los Angeles (seriously). The day after the clip aired, Latina ran an online poll asking “Would you vote for George Lopez to be mayor of your city or town?” Eighty-five percent answered “Definitely! He’s smarter than most politicians out there,” while 15 percent answered, “No way, celebs should stay out of politics.” For now (Lopez says he plans to run in eight years), he’ll stick to doing what he does best: comedy. Taking his “I Can Never Do Nuthin’” show on the road, (maybe future Mayor) Lopez will be at the MACC this Friday. He gets our vote. 242-7469; mauiarts.org

Join J n

Maui Brewing Co. in Celebrating

ST. PATRICK’S DAY Thursday, March 17 6pm - closing no cover We will be releasing our Wild Hog Stout

SERVED ALL DAY:

…*VYULK)LLM:SPKLYZ^)LLY:H\LYRYH\[ …+YPUR:WLJPHSZ

DJ Kurt

20 MARCH 17, 2011


BY ANU YAGI anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Alliez Well

Spasome

Saturday (March 19), 10pm, Stella Blues, Kihei, $10

Monday (March 21), 5-7pm, Spa Helani, Westin Kaanapali Ocean Resort Villas, $15

“The Alliez have that distinct island vibe, expertly interwoven,” wrote MauiTime’s own Ynez Tongson in a 2009 feature published on the heels of the band’s debut release. “Their sound ranges from classic rock to Latin jazz to hip hop, all of it infused with a reggae flavor, creating a perfect harmony.” Since that time, The Alliez have opened for the likes of Matisyahu, Pepper and most recently, The English Beat. Their harmonious evolution continues this Saturday at Stella Blues, as they celebrate the release of their sophomore effort, Right Time (available on iTunes, Amazon.com and CD Baby). “This album is for the young people trying to find their way growing up in this world,” says vocalist Jacob Abeytia. “[It’s] for anybody who can relate to the songs whether it’s about love or spirituality, struggle or victory.” Joining Jacob Abeytia (vocals), Ben Cerda (bass), Brian Sykes (guitar) and Glen Pfaff (the newest member, replacing Jesse Smith on drums) are fellow rockers Ras Lil Dread, The Fiyah Blaze Band, Erin Smith of The Throwdowns and Q103 FM’s Shaggy Jenkins, plus surprise guests. 874-3779; stellablues.com, thealliez.com

MONDAY 8:30-10PM ALL AGES NO COVER

It’s weird what the mind focuses on when panicked. When instructed to evacuate last week, after throwing my brothers and the dog in the car, I made sure to pack my skincare regimen. WTF? Instead of bringing a blanket (which would have been prudent) or a flashlight or maybe even treasured childhood mementos, I brought some lotion. So you can tell I take pampering seriously. And to be pampered for a good cause is the epitome of what a night out should be. Enter Spa Helani, which is hosting its second annual Girls’ Day event, Na Wahine Ui I Keia La or “Celebrate the Beauty of Women”, benefiting the Keiki’s Dream Foundation. You have the choice of a makeover, chair massage or eye treatment (definitely going to do this one—between the late nights and the crying, I’ve got more baggage than an airport carousel). If face time isn’t your idea of a good time, Spa Helani is also offering a showcase of Indah’s spring fashion line, live music, light cuisine and refreshments, as well as the chance to win fabulous prizes. Indulge. 662-2644; westinkaanapali.com/spa [Ynez Tongson]

DAMON PARILLO/ DANYEL ALANA

TUESDAY

FRIDAY

8:30-10PM

8:30-11:30PM

SOUNDS OF ADDICTION

ALL AGES NO COVER

SALSA CLASSES STARTING AT 10PM. NO COVER LATIN MUSIC 11PM $7-

WEDNESDAY 8:30-10PM ALL AGES NO COVER

ALL AGES WITH FOOD SERVICE

MARCH 17, 2011 21


BY ANU YAGI

CALENDAR

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI! 3+)(%)2$s !- !-$!),9s$)..%2@4),0-

THURSDAY

Da Kine Calendar

.)'-(4 '%3s ,,%$2 #/ 0 ).+ !,,

BIG SHOWS

FRIDAYS

$*349,: 0-

SATURDAY

GEORGE LOPEZ: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I CAN NEVER DO NUTHINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? - Fri, Mar 18. In 2005, Time magazine named Lopez of the 25 Most InďŹ&#x201A;uential Hispanics in America. For mature audiences only. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. $42.50 / $57.50. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469; georgelopez.com JAKE SHIMABUKURO - Sat, Mar 19. Sure, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to keep up with Shimabukuroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lightning licks â&#x20AC;&#x201D; but you can easily follow him on Twitter @jakeshimabukuro. Better yet, check him out IRL at his show this Saturday. $12 / $30 / $40. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469; mauiarts.org

0-

$*34,9: 0-

TUESDAYS TACO TUESDAYS 4-10pm

Chicken $2.50 Tacos - Steak, Pork, ri Tacos ama Cal & i Mah i $3.50 Mah $4 Margaritas $2.50 Coronas $2.50 Dos XX

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ABBEY STJOHNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S â&#x20AC;&#x153;THE SONGWRITERâ&#x20AC;? CD RELEASE PARTY - Sat, Mar 19. The bombastic rocker Abbey stJohn returns to the Valley Isle with an alloriginal hard rock trio featuring Christian Seacat, Julian Meyers and Thalia. Free download cards for the ďŹ rst 50 paid admissions, plus awesome door prizes. Afterward, DJ music until closing. $10. 10pm-1am. Charleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Restaurant & Saloon, 142 Hana Hwy., Paia; 579-9453; abbeystjohn.com THE ALLIEZâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S â&#x20AC;&#x153;RIGHT TIMEâ&#x20AC;? CD RELEASE PARTY - Sat, Mar 19. Features special guests Ras Lil dread, The Fiyah Blaze Band, Erin Smith and Shaggy Jenkins. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. $10. 10pm. Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei; 874-3779; stellablues.com

STAGE

â&#x20AC;&#x153;home of the $1 mai taiâ&#x20AC;? Kiheiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s BEST Sunset Cocktail Spot!

AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD BURGERS SALADS Live Music Daily Sunset Happy Hour 3-7 Nightly Entertainment

ST.PATTYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY

THURSDAY 17 REGGAE DANCE PARTY W/ RAMPAGE 9pm IRISH TACOS & GREEN BEER ALL DAY!

DAT GUYZ KEOLA AND BAND PLAYING ALL THE ISLAND FAVORITES

FRIDAY 18 9pm

SATURDAY 19 KAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ALE AND THE KAMEHAMEHA PROJECT 9pm ISLAND ROOTS DANCE PARTY

KARAOKE INDUSTRY NIGHT

SUNDAY 20 9pm

MONDAY 21 9pm HAPPY HOUR PRICES ALL DAY!!

KARAOKE

TUESDAY 22 SMOOTH ISLAND MUSIC 9pm

JUNIOR LACUESTA $1 TACOS $3 CORONAS $3 CUERVO SHOTS

WEDNESDAY 23 9pm GET UP & JAM OR WATCH THE

OPEN MIC RISING STARS

1913 S Kihei Rd 808.891.8010 ACROSS FROM FOODLAND

22 MARCH 17, 2011

MAUI ONSTAGE PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;CATSâ&#x20AC;? - Fri, Sat & Sun, through Sun, Mar 27. Be like the cat who got the creme by opting for the â&#x20AC;&#x153;adopt a catâ&#x20AC;? box seat ticket package ($50 for two tickets / $100 for four tickets), or a dinner package from Bistro Casanova ($40 includes show ticket plus a threecourse meal). Tickets available online, at the box ofďŹ ce, at Wailukuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s If The Shoe Fits or Kiheiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lava Java. Fridays and Saturdays (7:30pm) $18 seniors & keiki / $20 general / $40 preferred; Sundays (3pm) $15 general. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 242-6969; mauionstage.com MAPA PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF TIKKI-TIKKI TEMBOâ&#x20AC;? - Wed, Mar 23. A humorous musical adapted by Derek Nakagawa with music written by Patrick Brown. The story of a mischievous boy with a long name who learns a lesson about the consequences of pranks. The musical features live actors and Banraku-style puppets from award-winning master puppeteer Frank Kane. Plus, a second performance at Makawao Library on Thurs, Mar 24. Free. 2pm. Wailuku Public Library, 251 High St., Wailuku; 243-5766; librarieshawaii.org CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cirque du Soleil-esque with a uniquely Polynesian twist. Enjoy amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics, illusions, and mind-boggling contortionists. $62+ / deals for keiki and kamaaina. 6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 667-4540; maui.hyatt.com / cirquepolynesia.com

FOODIE ST PATTYS BEER PAIRING DINNER - Thu, Mar 17. Enjoy a four-course, traditional Irish meal at Royâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Includes Guinness cornbeef with bacon and cabbage paired with Irish beers. $49 per person. Royâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kahana Bar & Grill, 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana; 669-6999; roysrestaurant.com GET LUCKY AT MULLIGANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S - Thu, Mar 17. Meankine Irish grinds abound at this hub of an Irish pub. En-

tertainment includes Trevor Jones (11am-1pm), Celtic Hart (1-3pm), Mean Fiddlers (3-4pm), Isle of Maui Pipe Band (4:30-5pm & 7-7:30pm), The Celtic Tigers (57pm), and Willi K Band (9pm-12am). See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. Mulliganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on the Blue, 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 874-1131; mulligansontheblue.com HAUIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ANNUAL IRISH TRADITION - Thu, Mar 17. Enjoy special Irish tacos (i.e. corned beef and cabbage in fried corn tortilla) for St. Paddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day, to the tunes of Junior Lacuesta and Rampage. Hauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s A Beach, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 891-8010 DOG & DUCKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ST. PATTYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY PARTY - Food and drink specials plus prize giveaways all day. Plus, Trevor Jones (1:30pm) and Jordan Cuddy (10pm). 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 875-9669 DIAMONDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ICE BARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ST. PATTYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY - Food and drink specials plus entertainment. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 874-9299 VEGGIES GONE WILD WITH CHEF DOUGLAS MCNISH - Thu, Mar 17. A special evening with celebrity Chef Douglas McNish and the Vegetarian Society of Hawaii. After working for Torontoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best chefs in some of the most challenging atmospheres, McNish has brought organic vegan cuisine to a whole new level. Free. 7pm. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui LOCAL FUN ON ALOHA FRIDAY - Fri, Mar 18. Celebrate locally-grown seasonal produce with a demonstration highlighting how to cook whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in season as well as how to add fresh ingredients to your favorite recipes. 11am. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui HEALTHY FAMILY FRIDAYS - Fri, Mar 18. Kick off the weekend right by focusing on healthy, nutritious foods the whole family will enjoy. Free. 5pm. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 8723310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui SPRING INTO HEALTH - Sat, Mar 19. Event highlights include cooking demos, free recipes plus an opportunity to meet local health professionals, nutritional educators and much more. 10am-3pm. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui NA LIMA PAHEONA: OF THE ARTISTS HANDS CRAFT FAIR - Sun, Mar 20. Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best artists, jewelers and craftsmen host an in-store craft fair at Whole Foods Market. Featuring unique gifts, artwork and clothing. 6pm. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave # B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui WHOLE SALADS WITH CATHERINE - Tue, Mar 22. In this class, learn how to whip up three different kinds of salad dressing. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all sure to satisfy any hunger and encourage anyone to eat their veggies! 6pm. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui FREE VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - Tue, Mar 22. See (and sample!) how Andrea Bertoli, Down to Earthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vegan chef, uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrĂŠes, soups, breakfasts, and deserts. Free. 5:30-6:30pm. Down to Earth, 305 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 877-2661; downtoearth.org â&#x20AC;&#x153;MEALS ON A BUDGETâ&#x20AC;? RECIPE SHOWCASE WITH SHARLA - Wed, Mar 23. Looking for the great recipes on a budget? Join demo diva Sharla for a delicious recipe that will satisďŹ ed the entire family without breaking the bank (less than $3 per serving). Free. 5pm. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

TICKETS ON SALE â&#x20AC;&#x153;DRIVING MISS DAISYâ&#x20AC;? - Opens Mar 25 and continues through Apr 10. ProArts presents this Pulitzer Prize-winning American classic by Alfred Uhry. Directed by Jonathan Lehman. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss it. $15 / $20. Pro-Arts Playhouse, 1280 S. Kihei Rd,Kihei; 463-6520; proartspaciďŹ c.com ASZURE BARTON & ARTISTS - Thu, Mar 31. Bartonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brand of contemporary dance has landed her commission work with Mikhail Baryshnikov, Fang-Yi Sheu, Sydney Dance Company, Julliard School, Les Ballets Jazz de Montreal, and more. Her original, funky dance vocabulary is sure to be unlike anything youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen. $12 / $25 / $32. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469; mauiarts.org THE DOOBIE BROTHERS & WAR - Fri, Apr 1. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no April Foolsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; hoax. The Doobie Brothers AND War will co-headline next month. Make sure youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re there. $45 / $65 / $85 / $125 VIP. 5pm. The Yokouchi Pavillion, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469; mauiarts.org â&#x20AC;&#x153;CASINO ROYALE JOKERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S WILDâ&#x20AC;? BENEFIT FOR PAIA YOUTH & CULTURAL CENTER - Guests are encouraged to arrive in their ďŹ nest tropical attire for an elegant evening of no-stakes casino games, ďŹ ne foods and spirits, rollicking entertainment, a live auction, and prize giveaways. $150 advance / $160 door. 6-10pm. Maui Country Club, Sprecklesville; 877-7893; pyccmaui.org KATHY GRIFFIIN LIVE - Sun, Apr 10. Hooked on GrifďŹ nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;My Life on the D Listâ&#x20AC;? or her hilarious red carpet hosting? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d behoove you to get tickets now â&#x20AC;&#x201D; theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going fast. $36 / $46/ $56 / $66. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469; mauiarts.org FIVE FOR FIGHTING - Sat, Apr 23. Five for Fighting (aka John Ondrasik) is famous for piano ballads like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Superman (Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Not Easy)â&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;100 Years.â&#x20AC;? Tickets available at groovetickets.com. Royal Lahaina Resort, 2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina; 661-3611 TOAD THE WET SPROCKET - Sat, May 7. Having churned-out pop/alternative hits like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Walk on the Ocean,â&#x20AC;? these musicians are Platinum-certiďŹ ed. Tickets available at groovetickets.com. Royal Lahaina Resort, 2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina; 661-3611 THE WAYANS BROTHERS - Sat, May 21. Quit thinking â&#x20AC;&#x153;White Girls,â&#x20AC;? OK? Damon starred in Spike Leeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bamboozledâ&#x20AC;? (genius!), Shawn is famous for his role in â&#x20AC;&#x153;In Living Colorâ&#x20AC;? and Marlonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got â&#x20AC;&#x153;Requiem for a Dreamâ&#x20AC;? under his belt. Maui Theatre, 878 Front Street (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 661-9913; mauitheatre.com CITIZEN COPE - Sat, May 28. Some call Citizen Cope â&#x20AC;&#x153;a less smarmy John Mayer crossed with Stevie Wonder and a hint of Randy Newman.â&#x20AC;? Presented by the Maui Celebrity Series, now in its second year. Features special guests Arise and series creator Brian Evans. $45 - $75. 8-10:30pm. Maui Theatre, 878 Front Street (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 8567973; mauicelebrityseries.com SAVINGS ON FILM FESTIVAL PASSES & VIP PATRON PASSES - Attention movie buffs: If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not careful, June 15-19 (i.e. the next Maui Film Festival) will sneak up on you. Start planning ahead by purchasing your passes now through Apr 30, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be rewarded with killer savings. With a plethora of pass packages to choose from, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something for everyone. Visit mauiďŹ lmfestival.com for more information. $10 - $7,450. Maui Film Festival, 16 Baldwin Ave., Paia; mauiďŹ lmfestival.com STEVE-O - Tue, Aug 30. Yep, the McCartney to Johnny Knoxvilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lennon is coming to the Valley Isle. Joined


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

03/17

03/18

03/19

03/20

03/21 - 03/23

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Thirsty Thursdays Ladies’ Night, 6pm-Close / DJ Jamn J, 9pm

Bottoms Up Friday w/ DJ C, DJ LX & Emcee Jay-J, 10pm

Live Music 9:30pm-12:30am

Simma Down Sunday w/ DJ JammnJ, 10pm

MON - Open Mic w/ hosts O.G. Mac Band, 9pm; no cover / WED - Wild Wednesday w/ Bad Kitty, 8pm; no cover

AMBROSIA

Sexy St. Patty’s Day Party w/ DJ Del Sol

Freakin’ Fun Fridays w/ DJ Mats

Sunrize Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka

Sunday Night Fever w/ DJ CIA

MON – The Mary Jane Xperiment / TUE – Future Sound w / DJ AstroRaph / WED – Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

Louise Lambert 9pm; no cover

BISTRO CASANOVA

33 Lono Ave. #150, Kahului - 873-3650

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY REST.

Bryan & The Band

500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului - 873-6555

CASANOVA

The Emerald Ball w/ The Kit Kat Club Cabaret 9:30pm; $10

Luck of The Irish w/ DJ Kurt

CHARLEY’S

St. Patty’s Celebration / Wavetrain, 9pm; $10

Teomon & The Kryptones 9pm; $10

Abbey stJohn CD Release Party, 9pm; $10

Sunday Funday

TUE - Danyel Alana Trio, 9pm; $5 / WED Therapy Night w/ The Face / Fuzz Box, 10pm; $5

COOL CAT CAFE

Junior & Orin 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter D, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Ryan Palma, 7:30-10pm (no cover)

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

St. Patty’s Day Party 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

MON - Gomega / TUE - Super Duppah Reggae Band / WED - House Music (all sets 10pm; no cover)

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

St. Patty’s Day Party 8pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

MON – Live Music / TUE – Live Music / WED – Jessica & Kanoa (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Ladies Night

Kanaka Jam 7-10pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - Free Pool & Karaoke

St. Patty’s Day Party w/ Rampage, 9pm-Close

Dat Guyz 9pm-Close

Ka’ale & The Kamehameha Project, 9pm-1:30am

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-Close

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-Close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-Close

Lahaina Open Mic Night, 7:3010pm; no cover (all ages)

Sounds of Addiction 7:30-10pm; no cover

Free Salsa Lesson, 10pm / DJ Danny & Moses, 11pm; $7

MON - Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana / TUE - Ryan Palma / WED - Erin Smith (all sets 7:30-10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - Karaoke

Renee Alonzo 7pm - Close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - Close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - Close; no cover

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JAVA JAZZ

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787

by special guests Brian Evans and comic Corky Gardner. 8pm. Maui Theatre, 878 Front Street (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 661-9913; mauitheatre.com

ANNOUNCEMENTS

where the curatorial team teaches guests about the biology, behavior and diet of green sea turtles from the team that cares for the animals on a daily basis. Complimentary with aquarium admission. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma`alaea; 2707000; mauioceancenter.com

CALL FOR ENTRIES: ART OF TRASH - Submission day for the annual Art of Trash exhibit is on Saturday, Apr 16. The exhibition opens Saturday, Apr 22. Entry forms are available at all public libraries. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; Wilma Nakamura: 573-3911

MEAN DA GREEN: A ST. PATTY’S DAY PARTY Featuring Sounds of Addiction. A benefit for Lahainaluna High School Class of 2001’s 10-year reunion. $10 advance / $15 door. 10pm. Lulu’s Lahaina Surf Club & Grill, Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina; 661-0808

7TH ANNUAL JOSH JERMAN MAUI NUI SCHOLARSHIP - For the seventh consecutive year, real estate broker Josh Jerman of The Wailea Group LLC is offering the Josh Jerman Maui Nui Scholarship to encourage college-bound students to use their education to benefit Maui County. To date, Josh has awarded more than $20,000 in scholarships. The scholarship deadline is May 15, 2011; recipients of the award will be announced by May 21, 2011. joshjermanfoundation.org

TREVOR JONES - This beloved Welsh bard stops on the Valley Isle, amidst his world tour. Mulligans on the Blue, 11am. Dog & Duck Irish Pub, 2pm, Lahaina Yacht Club 6pm. 874-1131; mulligansontheblue.com

GOOD DEED = CLEAN GARAGE - Got usable paint, clothes or household items? In the spirit of laulima, get it out of the garage/garbage and into hands who can can make good use of it, by taking it to the Community Work Day Program. 8am-4:30pm. Community Work Day Program Headquarters, 420A Old Puunene Ave., Puunene; 877-2524; cdwhawaii.org

EVENTS THURSDAY, MAR 17 ST. PATTY’S AT THE AQUARIUM - Celebrate the St. Patrick’s holiday with eco-friendly vendors (10am-3pm), information on the Aquarium’s green initiatives and green tip card giveaways. Throughout the day, ocean naturalist will present information on ocean, land and energy conservation. The aquarium’s own green initiatives — such as the installation of six wind turbines and participation in the Restaurant for Renewables program — will be featured. Also, don’t miss Turtle-riffic Thursday (2pm),

THE EMERALD BALL Things get steamy with the Kit Kat Club Cabaret. Plus, music by DJ Sid. And stick around until Saturday for more luck of the Irish with DJ Kurt. $10. 9:30pm. Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-0220

MON - Jorma Bruschi, 7:30pm-Close; no cover / WED - Wild Wahine Wednesdays w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown, 10pm; $10

lease Party at Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon on March 19 (see Big Shows for more). 10-11pm. The Hard Rock Cafe, 900 Front St., Lahaina; 667-7400; abbeystjohn.com SPRING BREAK BASH - Music by Mele Pono & Nuff Sedd. A benefit for Maui Girls Fastpitch Softball. $10 advance / $15 door. 10:30pm. Lulu’s Lahaina Surf Club & Grill, Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina; 661-0808 SCHOOL BAND FUNDRAISER - Maui Mall is fundraising for Maui County schools with donation boxes set up by vendors throughout the mall. 5:307:30pm. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 871-1307; mauimall.com

SOME HERE. ALL ONLINE. CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

FRIDAY, MAR 18 QUEEN KAAHUMANU FESTIVAL WITH THE AHAHUI KAAHUMANU SOCIETY - No better place to celebrate Hawaii’s Queen Kaahumanu than at the mall named for her. Free. 6-8pm. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com AUGIE T’S LAUGH SHACK - Every day, I pray: “Lord, make me as funny and good looking as Augie T. Please?” So far, no answer. $12. 8pm. Maui Beach Hotel, 170 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 877-0051 ABBEY STJOHN - CD Release Sneak Peek - If you like to rock, check this out. A preview to the CD Re-

Brian Cuomo 7pm - Close; no cover

SATURDAY, MAR 19 QUEEN KA’AHUMANU FESTIVAL, DAY 2 - Featuring performances by Tunana, Maui Job Corps, Alika Nakaoka and Leohone. Free. 11 a.m.-3pm. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter. com

THE TIMOTHY WENK MAGIC SHOW - Friends of the Library of Hawaii is sponsoring a free program to celebrate the reopening of Kahului Public Library following the completion of an air-conditioner replacement project. Keiki ages 5 and older, accompanied by a parent or caregiver, are invited to see award-winning Magician Timothy Wenk. Contact the Library as soon as possible if a sign language interpreter or other special accommodation is needed. Free. 2pm. Kahului Public Library, 90 School St., Kahului; 873-3097; librarieshawaii.org “GATEWAY TO SPRING”: LAHAINA GATEWAY’S 3RD ANNUAL CLASSIC CAR SHOW - A benefit for the Lahainaluna High School Foundation. Features over

MON - Ashley Welte / TUE - Ras Shaggai / WED - Howard Ahia (All 7pm - Close; no cover) 65 classic cars from Maui Street Rodders and Maui Classic Cruisers, ‘60’s surf and classic rock music, Hawaiian style entertainment, and special sales throughout the center. New this year is the “Gateway to Spring” fashion show presented by the merchants from (6-7pm). Free. 4-9pm. Lahaina Gateway, 305 Keawe St., Lahiana; 877-7073; lahainagateway.com/ SPRING EQUINOX CELEBRATION - Maui Tribe invites you to celebrate spring equinox 2011 with a night of music and dance. Elixirs, chocolates, organic raw food by Chef Alikat and “Green A Licious” smoothies by Noa will be available. $15 advance / $20 door. 6-10pm. Studio Maui, Haiku Marketplace, 810 Haiku Rd., Suite 265, Haiku; 575-9390; thestudiomaui.com

SUNDAY, MAR 20 SURFRIDER FOUNDATION AND +H20 BEACH CLEANUP - Every third Sunday, the Surfrider Foundation Maui Chapter, in partnership with +H20, hosts a beach cleanup. Lunch is provided to all volunteers by a restaurant sponsor (this March, it’s Lulu’s Lahaina), and T-shirts are given away to the first 100 altruistic souls who attend. Supplies provided by Community Work Day program. 8-11am. Meets at Ukumehame. 283-2470; surfrider.org / positive-h2o.com

MONDAY, MAR 21 NA WAHINE UI I KEIA LA: CELEBRATE THE BEAUTY OF WOMEN - A special spa occasion just for girls. See This Week’s Picks for more. $15. 5-7pm. Spa Helani, Westin Kaanapali Ocean Resort Villas, 6 Ka’i Ala Dr., Lahaina; 662-2644

WEDNESDAY, MAR 23 MAPA PRESENTS “THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF TIKKI-TIKKI TEMBO” - A humorous musical adapted by Derek Nakagawa with music written by Patrick Brown. Plus, a second performance at Makawao Library on Thurs, Mar 24. See Stage for more. Free. 2pm. Wailuku Public Library, 251 High St., Wailuku; 243-5766; librarieshawaii.org IAN WALSH’S “YOUNG JAWS” SHORT FILM PREMIERE - Followed by music by DJ Eskae. Free. 9pm. Lulu’s Lahaina Surf Club & Grill, Lahaina Cannery

MARCH 17, 2011 23


TEAM MCCREADY FUNDRAISER

MARCH 26 9pm

TO SUPPORT PEARL JAM LEAD GUITARIST,

MIKE MCCREADY

CAMP SAVAGE HEAD HIGH THE

ALLIEZ

."6*t'30/545tt)"3%30$,$0. 24 MARCH 17, 2011


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

03/17

03/18

03/19

03/20

03/21 - 03/23

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

KAHALE’S

Vince Esquire

Kenny Roberts

Eight Track Players

Kahala

MON through WED - Da-Ha-Y-Ns

1810

Live Music

Ben & Glenn

Sam Ahia

MON & TUE - Sam Ahia

Bad Kitty 7-10pm

Billy & The Bad Dogs 9pm-12am

Blues Rock Band 8-11pm

Gina Martinelli Band 6-9pm

MON - Fun Nite, 6pm-12am / TUE - Pool Night, 6pm-12am / WED - Kiwi Cowboys 7-10pm

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-Close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-Close; no cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

Crazy Fingers 9pm-1am; no cover Karaoke w/ Manino 7:30-11pm; no cover

MON - Service Industry Night WED - Karaoke w/ Manino, 7:30-11 pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KIWI ROADHOUSE

95 E. Lipoa St., Ste A101, Kihei - 874-1250

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Salsa w/ Nat, 8-11pm DJ Nexus, 11pm-Close

Louise Lambert, Jose Ortiz & Shea Argel 7:30-10:30pm / DJ Canespider, 11pm-Close

Easy Listening w/ Neto 8-10pm DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-Close

Mean Da Green St. Patty’s Day Party w/ Sounds of Addiction, 10pm; $10/$15

Spring Break Bash w/ Mele Pono and Nuff Sedd, 10:30pm; $10/$15

X-Clusive Saturday Nights w/ DJ Money Mike 10pm-Close; $10

Augie’s Laugh Shack 8pm; $12

MAUI BEACH HOTEL

170 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului - 877-0051

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

MOANA CAFE

Phil & Angie Benoit

The Troublemakers 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

DJ Music

St. Patty’s Bonanza w/ Trevor Jones, Celtic Hart, Mean Fiddlers, Isle of Maui Pipe Band, The Celtic Tigers, Willie K Band and more.

Gail Swanson, 6:308:30pm / Ka’ena Elaban, 9:30pm-12am

Trevor Jones & His Band, 6:30-9:30pm / Ryan Robinson, 10pm-12am

DJ Stylz, 10pm

DJ Stylz, 10pm

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St. Kihei - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

PINEAPPLE GRILLE

200 Kapalua Drv. Lahaina - 669-9600

Jawaiian Music w/ DJ Bruddah Damien St., Lahaina, 667-7400.

MEETING REGARDING PÐLAUEA CULTURAL PRESERVE - The University of Hawai’i Maui College hosts a community informational meeting regarding UHMC’s proposal to accept the responsibility for the PÐlauea Cultural Preserve, an approximately 20.7-acre parcel that is the site of an ancient Hawaiian village and various archaeological features. Facilitating the meeting and discussion will be UHMC Associate Professor S. Ki’ope Raymond and Dr. Janet Six. Free. 5:30pm. Keawala‘i Congregational Church, 5300 Makena Road; 984-3655

HULA GRILL - Thu, Bruddah Larry 11:30am-1pm, Ernest Pua’a 2-4pm, Armadillo 4:15-6:15pm, Kulewa 6:30-9pm; Fri, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm, 1810 4:15-6:15pm, Kawika, Roy, & Tarvin 6:30-9pm; Sat, Jack Stone 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm, 1810 4:15-6:15pm, Wili Pa 6:30-9pm; Sun, Ron Hetteen 11:30-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm, 1810 4:15-6:15pm, Derrick Sebastian Trio 6:30-9pm; Mon, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm, Armadillo 4:15-6:15pm, Derrick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30-9pm; Tue, Kawika Lum Ho 11:30am-1pm, Jarrett Roback 2-4pm, Ernest Pua’a 4:15-6:15pm, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30-9pm.; Wed, Mika Villaren 11:30am1pm, Ernest Pua’a 2-4pm, Peter DeAquino 4:156:15pm, Ernest, Roy, & Tarvin 6:30-9pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 667-6636.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Fri & Sat, Ras Shaggai 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, Indapkt 3-6pm. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937. COOL CAT CAFE - Every Thu, Junior & Orin 7:3010pm; Every Fri & Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Every Sun, Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; Every Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Every Tue, live Jazz 7-10pm; Every Wed, Ryan Palma 7:30-10pm. Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina, 667-0908. DAVID PAUL’S ISLAND GRILL - Fri & Sun, live music 9pm. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 662-3000. DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Damien 3–5pm, Garrett & Peter 6–8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm, Kulewa 6-8:30pm; Sat, Mondo 3-5pm, Kulewa 6-8:30pm; Sun, Mondo 3-5pm, Ron & Miles 6-8:30pm; Every Mon, Brian 3-5pm, Damien & Edee 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Wed, Brian 3-5pm, Alika & Eddie 6-8:30pm. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 662-2900. HARD ROCK CAFE - Every Thu, all-ages Open Mic Night 9pm; Every Mon, Damon Parillo and Danyel Alana 7:30-10pm; Every Tue, Ryan Palma 7:3010pm; Every Wed, Erin Smith 7:30-10pm. 900 Front

Ranga Pae

TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae TUE - Open Mic Night

The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley, 6-9:30pm / Big John, 10pm-12am

MON - Noche Libre, 10pm-Close / Tue Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks 5:45-7pm; Willie K, 7-9pm; WED - Avi & Indio 5:45-7pm; Willie K, 7-9pm / Jordan & Wolf, 10pm-Close

Smooth Jazz Sounds w/ Brian Cuomo & Friends, 7pm -10m

Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina; 661-0808

BOX11 TRUNK SHOW - Designer Katie Browne uses reclaimed fabrics to create hip clothing and accessories. Her halter tops and cute zippered clutches are to die for. Wings Hawaii, Baldwin Ave., Paia; 214-6069; facebook.com/boxeleven

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” w/ Troy 9pm-12am / WED - Ian Walsh’s “Young Jaws” Premier, plus DJ Eskae, 9pm; no cover

Junior 6-8pm. Wed, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 661-0808. MERRIMAN’S - Wed-Sun, Ranga Pae; Mon, Benoit Jazzworks; Tue, David Choy. All sets 6-9pm. 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina, 669-6400. PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, Greg DiPiazza 6-8pm; Tue, Ah Tim 5:30-8:30pm. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-8881. SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun & Thu, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat, Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm. 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500.

SUBMIT YOUR

LISTINGS ONLINE

CALENDAR LISTINGS

JAVA JAZZ - Thu, Rene Alonzo; Fri & Sat, Farzad & Mike Madden; Sun, Brian Cuomo; Mon, Ashley Welte; Tue, Ras Shaggai; Wed, Howard Ahia (all sets 7pm). 3550 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Lahaina, 667-0787.

MAUITIME.COM/LISTING

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700. LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Fri, The J.D. on the Rocks Band 2:30-5pm; Sat, J.D. & Harry 2:30-5pm; Sun, Kilohana 2:30-5pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495. LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu, Classic Rock Thursdays featuring Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Fri, Cyrus Clark 5-7pm; Every Mon,

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Every Tue, “Glee” screening 7pm. Every Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night (this week: “High Fidelity”) 7:30pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-1011 BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike F. 5-9pm; Every Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M, Maalaea, 243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Every Fri & Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 879-2224. HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu, Junior Lacuesta; Every Fri, Mon &Tue, Rick Glencross; Every Sat, Ryan Robinson & Wolf; Every Wed, Jordan Cudworth. (All Sets 4-8pm.) Sun, Mon & Tue, Karaoke 8pm; Wed, Open Mic 9pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 874-1250. KAI WAILEA - Thu, Mon & Sun, Wolf; Fri, Ryan Robinson; Sat, Kanoa; Mon, Tom Conway; Wed, Francois (all sets 6-8:30pm). 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1955. KIWI ROADHOUSE - Thu, Bad Kitty 7-10pm; Fri, Mango Pickers 6-8pm; Sat, Blues Rock Band 8-11pm; Sun, Gina Martinelli 6-10pm; Wed, Kiwi Cowboys 7-10pm.

95 E. Lipoa St., Ste. A101, Kihei, 874-1250. MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat, Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets by Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Louise Lambert 6-9pm; Every Tue, Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 875-6666. MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Trevor Jones 11am-1pm, Celtic Hart 1-3pm, Mean Fiddlers 3-4pm, Isle of Maui Pipe Band 4:30-5pm & 7-7:30pm, The Celtic Tigers 5-7pm, Willi K Band 9pm-12am; Fri, Gail Swanson 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Trevor Jones & His Band 6:30-9:30pm; Sun, Celtic Tigers with Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:309:30pm; Mon, Joyce & Gord 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks 5:45-7pm, Willie K 7-9pm; Wed, Avi & Indio 5:45-7pm , Willie K 7-9pm.100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:307:30pm. 34 Wailea Gateway Plaza, Wailea, 879-7177. SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu, Erin Smith; Every Fri, Randall Rospond; Every Sat, Tom Conway; Every Sun, Viva La Rumba; Every Mon, Kanoa; Every Tue, Sebrina Barron; Every Wed, Wolf. (All Sets 4-6pm.) Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6444. STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Every Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Every Sun & Wed, Slam featuring David Choy 7-10pm; Every Mon, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz 4-6pm; Every Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed, Randall Rospond 4-8pm. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 874-3779. TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, live music Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112, Kihei, 875-2910. THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Thu, live Jazz; Fri, Jeff; Sat, Steff Lomeli; Mon, Cyrus Clark; Tue, Sammy Rouisse. (All sets 7pm.) 1945-G S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-3133. THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., Wailea, 875-8080.

MARCH 17, 2011 25


LIVE MUSIC ON THE NORTHSHORE!

THURSDAY MARCH 17

ST. PATTY’S DAY CELEBRATION $2).+30%#)!,3!,,$!97!6%42!). s0-

FRIDAY MARCH 18

TEOMON AND THE KRYPTONES $10 s 0-

SATURDAY MARCH 19

ABBEY ST. JOHN $10 s0-

SUNDAY MARCH 20

SUNDAY FUNDAY!

(!009(/527*/(.#2!)')% &!-),9.)'(40)::!30%#)!,"59/.%'%4 /.%/&&(/53%30%#)!,

TUESDAY MARCH 22

PELIGROSO TUESDAYS! DANYEL ALANA & TRI0

4!#/3 -!2'!2)4!3 -%8)#!."%%23 s0-

WEDNESDAY MARCH 23

THERAPY NIGHT!

THE FACE/FUZZ BOX: SPECIAL GUEST DJ’S 7%,,s0BOOKING INFO: DYINGSONS@GMAIL.COM

142 HANA HWY, PAIA

808-573-8085

www.charleysmaui.com

April 8 t 7:30PM - Maui Maui Arts and Cultural Center - Castle Theater MACC Box Office: 808-242-SHOW

26 MARCH 17, 2011

142 Hana Hwy, Paia, HI 579-9453


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

03/17

03/18

03/19

03/20

03/21 - 03/23

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Live Music 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin 10pm-Close; no cover

DJ Sonny 10pm-Close; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-Close; no cover

Roots Judgment 9pm-12am; no cover

Eddie & The Promises 9pm-12am; no cover

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 -879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON

Live Music

1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUE’S

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WOW-WEE MAUI’S

333 Dairy Rd. #101, Kahului - 871-1414

TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu, Island Favorites with Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri, Girls Nite Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat, Classic Rock with Domi Mon, Bobby Ingram & Franklin Russell; Every Tue, Mike and Mark; Every Wed, Steve Sargenti. 2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-8860.

CENTRAL MAUI CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm; Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:30-8pm.1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului, 877-0073. CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY RESTAURANT - Daily, Francois; Every Sun, Fausto. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului, 873-6555.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu, Joe Conte plays The Chapman Stick; Every Sat, live Argentinian music; Every Wed, The Stone Violets 6:30-8:30pm. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. CASANOVA - Mon, Yorma Bruschi 7:30pm. 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao, 572-0220. GREEN BANANA CAFE - Every Tue, Thu & Sat, Polynesian Dance Coffee Luau 6pm.137 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-9130.

The Alliez CD Release Party- 10pm; $10

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9:15pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 9pm-1am; $3

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

DJ Del Sol

Gay Night

Arise

Any Swing Goes, 8pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm-2am; no cover

Undone w/ Ross Q 9:30pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9pm-2am; $10

Closed

MON through WED - Closed

Fist Pump Friday w/ DJ Jay.P and Brendan of Requests, 8pm-1:30am; $5/$10

College Night: Next Lvl DJs, and Jay J, 9pm-2am; $5/$10 (18+)

Ohana Groove 10pm

Ladies Night w/ Next Level Entertainment, 10pm

Free Karaoke

MON - Free Karaoke / TUE - Thirsty Tuesday & Free Karaoke / WED - Free Karaoke

Ikaika Blackburn 10pm

Kaanapali Beach Club - 104 Kaanapali Shores, 661-2000.

POLO BEACH GRILL & BAR - Daily, live music 4-5:30pm.

KANAEHELE ROOM - Daily (except Sun & Mon), “Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages” 4:30-7:30pm. TIKI BAR & GRILL - Daily, hula show 6:30-7pm and live music 7-9pm.

LOBBY LOUNGE - Daily, torch lighting ceremony and hula 5:30-6:30pm; Every Thu-Wed, Jazz music 8-11:30pm; Every Tue, Jazz music 8-10:30pm; Every Sun, Hawaiian music 8:30-10:30pm.

TIKI TERRACE RESTAURANT - Every Sun, Ka’anapali Champagne Brunch 9am-1pm.

Grand Wailea Resort & Spa- 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., 875-1234.

FAIRMONT KEA LANI - Daily, live music 5:309:30pm. Four Seasons Resort - 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000.

Marriot Maui Ocean Club 100 Nohea Kai Dr., 667-1200.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua - One Ritz-Carlton Dr., 669-6200.

MAX WORLD BISTRO - Thu, Live Mana’o Radio broadcast with Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Fri, Jeff New 6:30-9pm; Sat, Gerit Williams 6:30-9pm; Sun, Jazz music 6:30-9pm; Tue, Rakhal Kincaid 6:30-9pm; Wed, Brooks Maguire 6:30-9pm. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-2629.

ROYAL OCEAN TERRACE - Every Thu, Fri & Sat, live Hawaiian music 6-8pm.

BOTERO BAR & LOUNGE Every Wed, live Hawaiian music 5:30-9:30pm.

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

GRAND DINING ROOM Every Sun, live Hawaiian music and hula 10:30am1pm.

CALENDAR LISTINGS

MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Every Sun, live music 9am-1pm.

ON MAUITIME.COM

Makena Beach & Golf Resort - 5400 Makena Alanui, 875-5888.

Sheraton Maui - 2605 Kaanapali Pkwy., 661-0031. LAGOON BAR - Daily, cliff diving 6-8pm, torch lighting ceremony 6-8pm, and live music 6-9pm.

Wailea Beach Marriot Resort & Spa - 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922.

Sugar Cane Train - 975 Limahana Pl., 661-0088.

KUMU BAR & GRILL - Daily, hula performance 6:30-9pm.

SUGAR CANE TRAIN - Daily, Sugar Cane Train rides 10am-4pm; Thu, Sugar Cane Train Dinner 5pm.

MELE MELE LOUNGE - Daily, live music 9-11pm.

WARREN & ANNABELLE’S - Daily (except Sun.), Warren & Annabelle’s Magic Show 5pm. Westin Maui Resort & Spa - 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., 667-2525. ONO BAR & GRILL - Every Fri, Brian Haia 6-9pm.; Every Sun, Raz Shaggai 6-9pm; Every Sat, Keali’i

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/listing and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Looking for something to do? Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime.com/calendar.

Start planning your week!

The Shops at Wailea - 3750 Wailea Alanui, 891-6770.

THE SHOPS AT WAILEA Every Wed, WOW! Wailea on Wednesdays live music 6:30-8:30pm.

Warren & Annabelle’s - 900 Front St., 667-6244.

UMALU - Daily, live music 6:30-8:30pm and torch

SOUTH MAUI

Kaanapali Beach Hotel - 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy., 661-0011.

Royal Lahaina Resort - 2780 Kekaa Dr., 661-3611.

Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa- 200 Nohea Kai Dr., 661-1234.

Lum 6-9pm; Every Wed, Scott Baird Duo with James DeBose 6-9pm. Fairmont Kea Lani - 4100 Wailea Alanui, 840-8402.

LOCAL MOCHA CAFE - Fri & Sat, live music 6-8pm. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani, 573-2859.

WEST MAUI

WED - Live Music 8:30-11:30pm; $3

OHANA BAR & GRILL - Every Wed & Thu, live music 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun, Thu & Sat, torch lighting ceremony 5:30-9:30pm.

L O N G B O A R D S KA’ANAPALI - Daily, solo guitarists and sunset hula dancers 5:30-8:30pm; Every Sun & Wed, live music 5:30-9:30pm.

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz; Slam feat. David Choy / TUE - Tom Conway / WED - Randall Rospond

MON through WED - Dat Guyz; no cover

lighting ceremony 5:30-6pm.

ALALOA LOUNGE - Every Fri & Sat, live music 8pm-12am.

RESORT SHOWS

Slam feat. David Choy 7-10pm

Karaoke no cover; 8pm

KULA LODGE - Sat & Sun, Jazz music. 15200 Haleakala Hwy., Kula, 878-1535.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Every Thu, Phil & Angela Benoit 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, The Troublemakers 6:30-8:30pm; Every Tue, Open Mic Night 6pm. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

Live Music

Ahumanu

744 Front St., Lahaina

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

MON - DJ Blast / TUE - DJ LX / WED - The ADD Twins (All sets 10pm - Close; no cover)

Ah-Tim

THE UNDERGROUND WATERCRESS

Kanoa of Gomega 10pm-Close; no cover

EAST MAUI Hotel Hana-Maui - 5031 Hana Hwy., 248-8211. HOTEL HANA-MAUI - Every Fri, hula performance 7-8pm. PANIOLO LOUNGE - Every Thu-Sun & Wed, live music 6:30-9:30pm.

.com

MARCH 17, 2011 27


BY ANU YAGI

KULA KID

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Whatever Works LOVE YOUR PET... WE DO.

0REMIUM.UTRITIONs1UALITY"RANDSs0ERSONALIZED3ERVICE G S DO SSE I LY CLA ! (808) 667-2662 M FA ING RED wmpetsupply@gmail.com IN FFE A O 910 Honoapiilani Hwy, Lahaina 96761 TR

Anew Tattoo By Nancy At Paia Tattoo

808. 205.6460 FIND ME ON FACEBOOK

INKING MAUI FOR 18 YEARS

Free Pap Smears & Mammograms +XL1R.H2OD3RQR %&&&3  LVFXUUHQWO\VHUYLQJ ZRPHQZKRGRQRWKDYH PHGLFDOLQVXUDQFH

:RPHQPXVWPHHWWKHHOLJLELOLW\UHTXLUHPHQWVIRU WKH%UHDVWDQG&HUYLFDO&DQFHU&RQWURO3URJUDP \HDUVROG0DXLFRXQW\UHVLGHQWKDYHDVRFLDOVHFXULW\ QXPEHUDQGPHHWLQFRPHFULWHULD

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&DVVLHRU5HEHFFDDW

28 MARCH 17, 2011

There are over 100 things you could be doing today on Maui. Go to mauitime.com for complete weekly calendar listings, and find something to do today.

W

hen you ďŹ nd yourself sitting in a cafe with Batman and Robin, you pay attention. Let me back up. It began when I started receiving a series of pithy hoax news clips regarding Art Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision to exclude â&#x20AC;&#x153;installationsâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D; immersive, three-dimensional pieces designed for a speciďŹ c space. Clearly the work of an adroit PhotoShop userâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with intentional clues to their jestâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and sent from an e-mail account named â&#x20AC;&#x153;Art Maui News,â&#x20AC;? these documents boast headlines like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Art Maui Protest Swells, International Outcryâ&#x20AC;? on a faux front page of The New York Times, and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Performance/ Installation Artist Lynda Benglis Arrested at Art Mauiâ&#x20AC;? seemingly snipped from the pages of The Maui News (the latter is replete with an MPD evidence control log, listing seized exhibits including a dildo, body oil and glitter sunglasses). Like the publicationsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; names, the bylines used are the names of real writers, and inset are poignant images of current world events, but with the banners in the hands of anti-government protesters in Cairo or pension reform protesters in France transformed to read â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Exclude Installationsâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;American Terrorists: Art Maui Must Accept Installations.â&#x20AC;? Blasted out to various media types, the hoax has incited anger in Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arts community. As an arts commentator, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m intrigued (and frankly, tickled). This isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t merely a hoax or parody, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s protest art tinged with the pormanteau â&#x20AC;&#x153;subvertisingâ&#x20AC;? (subversive advertising), and in effect is installation art unto itself. I wanted to ďŹ nd out who was behind this. Which brings me to Batman and Robin. After I responded to one of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Art Maui Newsâ&#x20AC;? e-mails I got a reply agreeing to a meeting. In addition to their superhero pseudonyms, the two tricksters ensured their anonymity by wearing masks (Batman donned a Venitian columbina, Robin a paper bag) during our sit-downâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;which included a two-man, paparazziesque documentary crew identifying themselves as Wonder Boy and Green Lantern. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Installations are at the cutting edge of art. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vital to the art world

today,â&#x20AC;? said Batman. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It puts art in an environment and is an example of art that is ideas.â&#x20AC;? When I asked if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d been provided any reason for the installation ban, Batman and Robin shook their heads. They hypothesize itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because installation art can be esoteric, as well as the fact that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s difďŹ cult to monetize (Art Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s commission is 50 percent of a pieceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sale price). In fairness to Art Maui, now in its 33rd year, curating the nearly 600 submissions they receive is an undoubtedly daunting task. It doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem terribly unreasonable for them to want to mitigate their growing logistical challenges. But neither is it unreasonable for the artistsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;who, as Batman says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;love Art Maui and look forward to its deadline every yearâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;to challenge their exclusion. So what do Batman and Robin hope to achieve? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Accepting installation work immediately,â&#x20AC;? they sayâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that is, this year, not next. I admire their guerilla methods, but this demand is obviously unrealistic. Despite how it has confounded and outraged (Batman and Robin say theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve lost sleep and been threatened with lawsuits) I think this kind of conversation suggests that, as American painter Robert Henri put it in the 1923 book The Art Spirit, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The greatness in art will not be attained by the possession of canvases in palatial museums, by the purchase and bodily owning of art [but] by the art spirit entering into the very life of the people, not as a thing apart, but as the greatest essential of life to each one... manifesting in every work of man, be it painting or whatever.â&#x20AC;? For Batman and Robinâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and their installation ilkâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the emphasis is on the â&#x20AC;&#x153;whatever.â&#x20AC;? â&#x2013;  To read more Kula Kid with links and photos and stuff, and to leave comments, visit mauifeed.com/ kulakid To share or save: mt.hy. pr/1439k


BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

HOROSCOPE

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com +

Sign Language

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions on page 7

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Everyone has ties (and feels obligations) to other people. However, it sucks when someone uses these to essentially blackmail you into doing what they want you to do, regardless of your own desires. Of course, this is generally more subtle than a letter composed of magazine-clipped letters depicting a drop-off point for a ransom—but it’s a form of blackmail nevertheless. Letting someone twist your arm that hard isn’t something you can or should tolerate for long. Of course, getting out of such a tight hold might be painful no matter what you do—but you should strive to do so, anyway, as soon as possible. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Although I admire your fiercely competitive spirit, it’s important to know when to keep it in check. Not everything is a competition, especially with those you love. There’s an appropriate time for that kind of thing, but it’s at the card table or on the sports field. In everyday life, it’s best to keep comparisons to a minimum. If someone is smarter or stronger than you, be happy for them, instead of insecure about it; and if the situation is reversed, try not to lord such facts over them; that’s not particularly endearing. This week, it’s all about realizing when it’s game on—and when it’s game off. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) We all have our responsibilities, and it’s impossible to forget about them entirely, especially for you dutiful Bulls. However, if these burdens weigh on you so heavily that you have trouble enjoying yourself in situations as far removed from your obligations as you could possibly get (at a beach or an amusement park, for example), it’s time for you to reassess just how much you’ve taken on, and realize it may be time to find a way to lighten the load. This is the perfect week to figure out just what has to go—and how to get rid of it. GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) The boundaries between private and public are more blurred than ever—both regarding our ability to keep things private, and the power to broadcast our dirty laundry far and wide. This has caused a widespread redefinition of how people live and what about their lives they share—you can already see a tremendous disparity between generations in this department. Geminis are generally quite willing to live fairly transparently. When it’s your business, that’s fine. However, when you share something that concerns someone else, it’s important to consider their standard for privacy, not yours—before you post that shit on Facebook. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) If someone’s secret unexpectedly falls into your lap, exercise that famous sensitivity and compassion as you consider what, if anything, you’ll do with it. Such secrets are loaded with emotional dynamite, and the whole thing could blow up easily if not handled carefully. It’s not likely to be a clear-cut moral issue, either—this one lives entirely in the gray areas. Therefore you must consider two factors—which outcome in your power would generate the greatest good, and which would do the least harm? Consider the ripple effect of any revelations you make— and also make sure just keeping your mouth shut is an option you’ll consider. It may be your best one. LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) We can’t help how we feel—our emotions aren’t directed by logic, reason, or practical considerations; however, they’re not impervious to them. Don’t delude yourself that just because you feel something that “it must be right.” A lot of what we experience internally is never meant to be, and acting on it really would only make a huge mess; that’s right, nothing good would really come of it. This is why we have brains, and the ability to apply rational thought to what we’re feeling, and figure out ways to deal with it that aren’t destructive—and, quite simply, make sense.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Emulate your open-minded astrological neighbors, those Libras, who are can see both sides of nearly every scenario. You may be so sensitive and empathetic to one person’s feelings that you become brutally oblivious to the other person (or people) involved. It’s okay to take sides if you feel compelled to get involved or have an opinion, but please try to remember that nothing in life is purely black and white—even the most clear-cut issues have shades of gray. Don’t let your compassion make you into a villain, blinded to these—that’s this week’s chief danger.

1. The moment magnitude scale 2. 50 Cent 3. University of Connecticut

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Never loan money you can’t afford to not get back. That’s good advice. Take it. It’s wonderful to come through for people—and lovely when your good deed is reciprocated— but such generosity must come without anything more than loosely-attached strings. Please keep that firmly in mind as you move forward—having clearly-defined boundaries about what you’re willing (and unwilling) to do will serve you well. If you decide to help someone out with some dough, it’s okay to call such a gift a “loan,” and hope to get it back someday, but in your mind, you should still consider it a gift. If you really can’t afford to be so generous, then don’t. SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) When someone takes up space in your life, even temporarily, then they go away, it’s natural to feel the emptiness left behind by their absence, even if you live the kind of life where a million other people and distractions are just waiting to rush in to fill the vacuum. Appreciate that, and notice that sometimes you can’t truly understand what someone really means to you until they’re gone. That can be a painful realization—when they die, for example. However, sometimes, you can have a second chance, one that’s transformed by your newfound understanding. If you want such a chance, and it’s logistically possible (even if complicated), this is a good time to ask for it. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC.21) When someone is a project (“We must rebuild you from the ground up!”), they might simply not be the “right” person for you. However, you’re also wise enough to know there’s no perfect person out there. What you should be aiming for is a broad compatibility, and if there’s something you need to work on from there—conflict resolution, say, or sex—it might well be worth putting in the time getting things to a good place rather than playing the field more. Of course, that requires patience and a willingness to stick around and put in the time—qualities you’re not particularly known for. You can develop them, though. The question now is: have you? CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) The Ouroboros is an ancient symbol depicting a snake eating its own tail. It has many different connotations in different cultures and traditions. However, what it makes me think of most right now is…you! Like that snake, you’re constantly recreating yourself, but mostly using the same materials you’ve used all along; that translates to very little substantial evolution. When you’ve decided to truly reinvent yourself, you’ll need new fuel for the transformative fire, to inspire and challenge (and frighten) you. This is the perfect time to seek out just such terrifying, exciting, and evocative inspiration. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Although it’s good to have goals, permanently attaching them to perceived outcomes won’t do you much good. “When I’m ____ (fill in the blank: rich, famous, married, etc), I’ll be happy.” That might be a true statement—but it might not. Waiting until it happens to find out (and only potentially be happy) is kind of a dumb idea. Be happy now. Whatever your circumstances, figure out how to be happy immediately. That doesn’t mean you should abandon your goals or leave off pursuing greater joy—just that postponing serenity and satisfaction for any amount of time is a bad, bad, terrible idea.

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14.39 Tsunami 2011, March 17, 2011, Volume 14, Issue 39, MauiTime