This is Jamie, A celebrity cook, You might have read one of his cookery books. Or seen him on telly, on his cookery shows, Making pukka dishes wherever he goes.
These things are all great, but you don’t know the best, The tale that’ll knock the socks off all the rest, Because this little story is a favourite of mine, of how Jamie Oliver TRAVELLED THROUGH TIME!
Whilst cooking one night in his restaurant kitchen, Jamie Oliver had just been itching, To use his invention, the clever geezer, That he had hidden in his secret freezer.
Heâ€™d planned it for ages, itâ€™d taken him years, And money and strife and blood, sweat and tears.
But now it was finished, his invention supreme: Heâ€™s constructed a pukka...
He powered it up and jumped in the seat, The device powered up (and knocked over some meat)
Then the go button lit up on the dash, Jamie pressed it and disappeared in a flash!
Jamie realised he was far from home, And two thousand years back in...
Heâ€™d arrived in a market near the Coliseum, With all types of people, if only you could see â€˜em! There were market stalls, jugglers and a puppet show (and a gladiator who looked a bit like Russell Crowe).
All of a sudden, a messenger said, “The Emperor, Caesar, won’t get out of bed!” “He’s feeling depressed, he’s almost in tears. He feels no one will remember him in thousands of years.”
“Not feeling famous enough?” Said Jamie, “I know how that feels.” “I’ll fix this problem – Like I did with School Meals!”
So he was taken to the palace, and in front of Caesar, Jamie said, “Fella, I’ve got something to please ya!” “It’s certain to get you in the History pages, And make sure you’re well known for ages and ages”
â€œSo Bacchus has Wine and Virgil has ballads, But what about Caesar? You guessed it...
â€œLettuce, Black pepper and anchovies, Cucumber, tomato and parmesan cheese.â€?
Caesar said “Jamie, this new salad is Pukka!” “You’ve got me out of this rut, you ‘av, me ol’ mucker!”
“You’re welcome,” said Jamie, “but I’ve got to go back to my family and cookery show.” “If I’ve been gone too long, the wife will be mad! Plus tomorrow I’m filming a Sainsbury’s Ad!”
So Jamie said goodbye to Caesar and Rome, and jumped back in his machine, which took him safely back home.
You can see why that story is my favourite one, It’s a good one isn’t it? I hope you had fun! I also hope that you have learnt something too, And let’s all hope Jamie Oliver won’t sue!
THE END By Matthew Rowley @TheRowley