How to Get Over A Broken Heart
Advisory Column Future Plans
Question & Answer
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Cliché-ish as it may seem, you first need to settle down into the quiet so you can deal with what you’re feeling. I myself usually pray and tell God how much it hurts. You have to stop pretending that you’re perfectly alright and accept that you’re hurting. That is the first step in moving on.
Do not try to fix the problem right away. Relax. Let time do its magic - the healing will come eventually.
#5 MOVE ON Do not dwell on the hurt. Move on with your life. If it hurts so bad that you feel like your heart will never be okay, I’ve got news for you: You’ll be okay. Life goes on. Do not waste it on regrets. :)
LET THEM HELP
You cannot do it alone, trust me. So go on, let your friends help you. Let them take you out, go on and have some fun. It is good to fill your mind with good, clean fun. Thinking about your problem too much will not solve it or make it better. So try to forget a little and let that smile peek out from your lips again. :)
Occupy yourself with new things! Try out something that you have never tried, like a new sport or hobby. That will keep your mind away from that person that hurt you. Oh, and avoid looking at that person’s facebook page/texts (DELETE ALL)/and photos. It will not do any good for you.
I don’t drink, smoke or do any of those things. It goes against what I believe in. Now that I’m in college, it’s been getting really hard. What do I do when my friends, like to party all night and drink until they’re wasted? What if they force you to smoke, drink – all those things that you don’t do and hate? First of all, you have to go back to the reason why you don’t drink or smoke. Is it because you’re afraid of the consequences? Is it because you want to be different? Or is it because you have made a commitment not to do those things because they go against your faith? Once you have that pinned down, it will be easier for you to make the right decision. Secondly, always remember tat you don’t have to do all the things that your friends do. I know that’s easier said than done, especially when they begin calling you “kill-joy” or the party bummer.However, if they are your true friends, they will understand. I personally made a commitment not to drink or smoke because I believe that it doesn’t please God, and my faith is something that I value highly. I never really had to deal with outside pressure about these things because all my close friends don’t drink or smoke either. It took a while to get used to all the jokes, the teasing and the looks of judgment, but it all passed. My new friends respect my decision and they don’t force me (I think partly because they know they can’t). I’m 20, I don’t drink or smoke – there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with you, too.
I’ve been active in our Catholic community all my life. Now that I’m in college, balancing school work and ministry work (along with my orgs) is getting really difficult – especially because I live so far from school. Should I prioritize my school and leave community?
I know how you feel, I’ve been there too. These past two years have been the most difficult for me, especially because I live in Alabang and my community is Quezon City, and I study in Ateneo. The endless car rides (thank God for the driver!) are draining, and going to the community center almost every night is very tiring. It was not much of a problem back in homeschool because there were no homeworks, but it’s different now. I’ve contemplated on leaving or taking a rest, but then I remembered that God is more important than anything else I do. Serving him is my priority, and it just so happens that as a student, my service for Him is doing well in my studies. But I should also make time for ministry. I’m still looking for the right balance, being very active in my org (EB for AMP) and busy with academics, but so far it’s been bearable. God’s been giving me the grace and strength, and I bet He will do the same for you. Just don’t give up.
In 5 years, I will be 25 and two years out of college. Hopefully, I will already be working in our family business. However, whether fulltime or part-time, I am not sure yet. I plan to take arts courses after college, such as photography, but I have not decided if I will take it here in Manila or abroad. That was the plan from the very beginning - take up a management course and pursue my interests after I get my degree. If I take the course or courses here in Manila, I will be able to do my initial plan of working in the family business while studying. On the other hand, I can try how to live independently if I go abroad to study for a year or two. Being an only a child – and a girl, no less – I have been pretty pampered all my life. Thus, it would be a good experience for me to be alone for some time. I’m leaving that decision for a later time though.
Q: What do you like in yourself?
A: I like how I can push myself to do anything and finish it. I hate leaving things undone, and I guess that works for my advantage. I also like how I’m very teachable and very adaptable to new things, especially anything that relates to technology. I also like how I can deal with different kinds of people – in fact, they say I’m quite friendly.
Q: What don’t you like in yourself?
A: What I hate the most is my irrational insecurity. I’m fully aware that I’m not confident, although it doesn’t always seem so, and that I shouldn’t be, but I still can’t help it. Whenever I see great photos, a very good actress or singer, I tend to compare myself to them. If I pale in comparison, I’ll get depressed or sad for a while and swear off the things
In 10 years, I’ll be 30 and hopefully married to a musician or artist. I plan to already have one child because they say that having your first child after 30 is quite difficult. I would like to be taking photos as a sideline job, alongside with my fulltime job in our family business. I dream of having a husband who has a very active creative life (recording or writing) in which I can take part of and help. I still plan to be living here in Manila, but hopefully, I would have seen more of the world already. I dream of having passports that are filled from page to page with stamps from all over the world. Hopefully, I’ll have enough money to see all the world has to offer!
I love. I also have many fears – fear of being abandoned, of waking up alone, of finding out one day that I can never be anybody and of failing entirely at life.
Q: What things would you like to change to attain the things that you want to achieve in life?
I want to be a good businesswoman while dabbling in various forms of art. To attain those things, I should get over my petty insecurities and dive into the things that I really enjoy. I can’t improve on anything if I’m too afraid to even try. Failure is not synonymous to falling. Some things in life can’t be overanalyzed; sometimes you just have to jump in. I’ve been too used to rationalizing everything I do and being careful not to get hurt. That, I think, is what I really have to work on.
Development & Environment “Pro or Anti-RH Bill?” We keep hearing about it nowadays – in school, in the news, in the papers and in everyday conversations of people. Even social networks such as Facebook and Tumblr are filled with arguments about it. It gets quite tiring. I understand that we are battling an overpopulation problem here in the Philippines, especially with the poor. I agree in what the government is trying to do – help the poor so that they will not sink deeper in to poverty. I just do not agree with the part where it includes the legalization of contraceptives.
Pro or Anti-RH Bill?
In Psychology and even in Biology, we learn about how an egg and sperm are united, which, after nine months, develops into a baby after nine months. We even learn about a zygote’s pre-natal development and the critical periods. After all these years of learning and studying about how babies are made, we tend to forget that it is still a miracle every time it happens. Conception cannot be recreated by manmade means (test tube babies are made from eggs and sperm that come from a female and male). In that light, sex then, must be an act that comes with gravity – even if you look at it in a nonChurch-biased way. The act in itself can create life; legalizing contraceptives will lessen its gravity and sacredness because then, the pleasure can be achieved without the consequences. That is like,
as my friend puts it, having the perfect melody and lyrics but refusing to make a song. It is not right. I believe that there are better ways to battle the overpopulation in our country. There is sex education and proper guidance that can be offered to the poor. Legalizing contraceptives will be too detrimental to the future, because it will open the doors to ideas and concepts that will lead to an overly-liberal generation of Filipinos: A generation of people who think that sex is as normal as dating. We learn in Psychology that environment plays a great part in how children turn out to be. If that is the case, can you imagine what the future will look like?
SEX IS AN ACT THAT COMES WITH GREAT GRAVITY.
So before you make a choice – before you make a vote – think and rethink. There is more to the issue than what we initially thought.