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conundrum: THE UNIVERSITY OF VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER NOVEMBER 29, 2012 • VOLUME 65 • ISSUE 16 • MARTLET.CA

can new nets fix overfishing? p. 8

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some victoria restaurants unprepared for 2015 ban on organic waste in landfills p.4

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leafblowers:

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time for a ban?

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ECO TIPs

eight great

ways

to save

resources

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a local beacon for green brewing p.15 practices

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a humorous look at how recycling could hurt p. 22

this land is your land this land is my land this is our playlist p. 14

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NEWS: campus

How will you combat violence on campus? Email letters@martlet.ca.

A hard-won day of action against violence slated for December Survivors, advocates ask all students to think hard about how UVic can address violence > VANESSA ANNAND On Dec. 3, students are being asked to speak out about how they will combat violence on campus and elsewhere at an event called Join the Circle: Act Against Violence. For someone like Breanna Neden, a UVic alumnus who graduated in 2010, this campusbased recognition of violence is essential. Neden was sexually assaulted while living in the David Thompson residence during her first year at UVic, an experience that spurred her towards depression and exacerbated an eating disorder. “When I was assaulted, I didn’t even necessarily think that what had happened was assault because it involved alcohol, and there is a really pervasive drug and alcohol culture on campus that is extremely normalized,” says Neden. “At the time, I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t have the language to know what it was and to speak out about it.” This is why Neden sees the Dec. 3 event as important for UVic. “We need to be acknowledging our lived experiences and our histories of violence on our bodies,” she says. Classes will be cancelled from 11:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. so students can take part in an open mic in UVic’s quad, where they may publicly detail in a few sentences how they commit to combat violence. Afterwards, students are invited to write down planned actions against violence while enjoying free soup in the Michèle Pujol Room in the Student Union Building. Neden says the conversation shouldn’t focus solely on survivors of visible violence, as “mundane forms of violence happen . . . every single day on campus.” Because of this, Join the Circle will not prioritize any particular groups or speakers; the goal is for anyone to have an opportunity to speak. “If something happened to your body, and you didn’t consent to it, it is a big deal, no matter what that was,” says Neden. Join the Circle: Act Against Violence, is a new, grassroots response to an older, nation-wide event that traditionally took place on Dec. 6 and focused on the 14 women shot at Montreal’s École Polytechnique in 1989: the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women. In 2011, when UVic cancelled its annual ceremony to mark the National Day of Remembrance, the backlash was palpable. “I thought, ‘Is this a joke? Is this really happening?’ ” says Neden. “Some women were expressing their outrage, and I was equally as outraged, but instantly looking for solutions.” THE GENESIS OF A NEW DAY OF ACTION Although two films were screened at Cinecenta in lieu of a ceremony in the quad that December of 2011, many on campus believed the day of action had been scaled back and altered without due notice. From the early ’90s until 2010, UVic had cancelled classes to allow students and faculty to attend the widely publicized event. By compari-

son, says Neden, attendance at 2011’s screenings “was not as broad as it could have been.” Renay Maurice was one of a group of eight to 10 students who called themselves “The Women” who announced at the Dec. 2, 2011, screening that they would be marching to UVic President David Turpin’s office. The group planned to employ tactics of the Occupy movement and take up space in the office until he agreed to meet with them to discuss meaningful ways to address violence on campus. Later that night, the administration responded by requesting a meeting with The Women; the march on Turpin’s office was cancelled. “To me, that was a very good sign that the university was being responsive to students’ voices,” says Maurice. “We all felt really strongly that this day — this national day — still needs to be fully imagined in Canadian culture, not lost.” In a letter to Turpin, the group wrote, “As an institution of higher learning we feel that it is this administration’s responsibility to begin addressing this issue as educators, in a comprehensive way, not just in terms of disparate activist events.” This marked the beginning of consultations between the university — including Grace Wong Sneddon, advisor to the provost on equity and diversity, and Reeta Tremblay, vice-president academic and provost — and The Women, as well as some representatives from UVic advocacy groups (including the Students of Colour Collective, the Women’s Centre and the Anti-Violence Project). Neden says the university offered $500 toward a new event at one of the first meetings. “Lots of other events get way more funding than that,” says Neden, “and this is to do with violence against people on this campus.” UVic’s Equity and Human Rights (EQHR) office was designated as the host for Join the Circle; it has so far provided an additional $2 870 in funding. In 2006–2007 (the most recent year for which figures are available), EQHR received nine sexual harassment complaints and 18 gender discrimination complaints. In spite of this, Cindy Player, the director of EQHR, says a special committee formed in April to plan the Dec. 3 event decided that it was time for the event to move beyond strictly gendered experiences of violence. Still, several of the advocacy groups raised concerns that the new event might not focus enough on some groups’ experiences of violence. “I think there may be some people who feel that something has been lost in looking at the broader scope,” says Player. Annalee Lepp, chair of UVic’s Women’s Studies Department, helped lobby the university to cancel classes for a day of action in the ’90s. She is now involved in the discussions about Join the Circle and echoes Player’s sentiment that the day’s mandate has changed. “I think that it is an expansion of the conversa-

VANESSA ANNAND

A plaque in UVic's Enigineering/Computer Science Building commemorates the 14 women who were killed at Montreal’s École Polytechnique in 1989; each cluster of leaves represents a woman. These women have traditionally been remembered at the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence at UVic. This year, the university hopes to expand the conversation with an event called Join the Circle: Act Against Violence. tion to really look at what kind of violence is happening around us, whether that is around racism or transphobia or homophobia or sexual assault — to take seriously violence in its many, many forms.” A sub-committee was formed over the summer to begin consulting students confidentially about how they would like to see violence addressed more broadly at UVic. MORE THAN A ONE-DAY EVENT Maurice says that making the fight against violence more salient to UVic students is perhaps the greatest challenge. In addition to in-person consultations that have been ongoing since the summer, there is an online survey available for students to fill out until Dec. 15 (find it at web. uvic.ca/eqhr/). The survey takes about half an hour to complete, is anonymous and includes open-ended questions like, “What suggestions would you have for the University of Victoria to acknowledge and address various forms of violence on campus and elsewhere?” “I would just love to see us get 300 or 400 surveys filled,” says Maurice. Once the surveys have been submitted, the responses will be coded and the findings presented to the UVic Senate. “What I want to see happen is that this is somehow put through constitutionally so that we don’t ever have to fight for it again,” says Maurice of a designated day of action against violence at UVic. Maurice says the committee hopes to have a follow-up event in March, perhaps in the style of TED talks, which will allow a variety of presentations — everything from slam poetry to dance — of five to 15 minutes in length. Lepp says, however, that student feedback may tell the committee that it should take a new tack. “Is a public event the most effective way to address violence on campus?” asks Lepp. “Not to diminish the event on or around Dec. 6, but . . . is this where people’s energies and resources

should go? Are there other strategies that may potentially be more effective? We don’t have the answers yet.” HOW STUDENTS CAN HELP Maurice says that Join the Circle organizers are looking for students to help distribute handbills before the event. For Dec. 3, they are looking for students willing to relay messages from people who might not want to step up to the microphone themselves. Assistance in helping the crowd form a circle is also needed. What’s most important, she adds, is that people fill out the online survey and show up at the event. Player says all UVic administrators have been invited, though they have not been asked to RSVP. “I would really love to see more administration come out,” says Neden. “I would love to see Turpin there. I think every single person on the campus should be out there.”

JOIN THE CIRCLE: ACT AGAINST VIOLENCE Dec. 3 (All events are on traditional territories of Coast Salish and Straits Salish peoples.) Open mic @ the quad (by Petch Fountain) 11:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m Free soup @ Michèle Pujol Room (SUB) 12:30–2:30 p.m. Students can call Cindy Player at 250-721-7007 to get involved

SPEAK YOUR TRUTH: CLOTHESLINE PROJECT (HOSTED BY THE ANTIVIOLENCE PROJECT) Nov. 28 Upper Lounge (SUB) 5:30–7:30 p.m. Painted t-shirts to be displayed at Join the Circle

November 29, 2012 MARTLET • NEWS 3


NEWS: Local

Is there a local event coming up that we should cover? How will we know if you don't tell us? Email news@martlet.ca.

HUGO WONG

Victoria’s restaurant industry struggles for sustainability Some restaurant owners unaware of organic waste management options and upcoming CRD landfill ban on kitchen scraps > KAITLYN PELLETIER Due to increased pressure on the Hartland landfill in recent years, the Capital Regional District (CRD) plans to completely ban organic/kitchen waste — which composes 30 per cent of Victoria’s waste — from its Hartland landfill in 2015. Within the two-year time period leading up to the ban, restaurants will be notified that soon no organic waste will be accepted. Once the ban is enacted, fines will be issued for not abiding it. According to several downtown restaurateurs, the city is demanding they comply without offering the resources or education for them to deal with the tonnes of food waste generated every day. “If there were some place where I could take my compost to at the end of each day, I would do it,” says Antonio Sousa, manager of Qoola Frozen Yogurt Bar. But other local restaurant managers feel paying extra fees for waste dis-

posal is not feasible for them. An Oct. 20 sample of 12 restaurants in Victoria’s downtown revealed only three were composting. At all three of those restaurants, the composts primarily consisted of paper plates and utensils — excluding all kitchen and food waste. Several restaurant owners identify four perceived barriers to composting: cost, space, knowledge and services. An owner of a popular downtown restaurant who wished not to be named says cost is the biggest barrier. “If someone was picking up the waste for free, I would definitely partake. I pay money monthly for garbage disposal in my lease agreement, so adding expenses for disposal wouldn’t be highest priority.” Restaurants located in the dense downtown area have limited space available to them, so storing an extra bin may take up room they don’t have.

At many of the 12 surveyed restaurants, owners and employees didn’t know what compost is or what the benefits of greening their business might be. Many believed that recycling and composting were the same thing. Sean Hepple is a sustainability consultant for Waste Management, Inc., a large North American company that helps clients manage and reduce waste from collection to disposal. He says these perceived barriers can be addressed. “Composting is not always more expensive,” Hepple says. He points out that waste pick-ups can be reduced when some of that waste is diverted to compost, which helps offset the cost of the composting program. Hepple explains that there are also ways to work around the barrier of space; all sorts of innovative solutions have been created for addressing this. The Molok system, for example, involves underground containers with the capacity to store large amounts of waste while

taking up minimal surface area. Lastly, Hepple says lack of services should not be a barrier for businesses. If they are interested in composting services, there are companies that service locally, such as Waste Management, OrganiCo, ReCYCLISTS or ReFUSE. “There are options,” says Hepple. The desire to change waste management practices to more sustainable systems is evident — several surveyed restaurant owners and managers are keen to learn more about how they could adopt composting systems at their restaurant or how to improve what they already have in place. The CRD offers some education resources for businesses to access on its website (for example, myrecyclopedia.ca, which provides businesses with information about how to green their business and what options are available to them). “Anything to help achieve sensible composting and recycling policies is a good thing,” says Sousa. “But I’m just not sure how.”

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IN THE SUB

David Suzuki criticized Stephen Harper's prioritization of the economy at a Nov. 16 Green Party event.

TIA LOW

'More than just being about protecting trees and birds' Green rally guest speaker David Suzuki says economy should support Canada, not the inverse > TIA LOW At a rally on Nov. 16, the Green Party of Canada called for a more democratic government and attention to pressing climate issues. Around 1 300 Victorians showed up at the Victoria Event Centre to hear speakers, including Green Party MP candidate Donald Galloway (who would come second in the byelection 10 days later, just behind the NDP’s Murray Rankin). Other speakers were environmentalist David Suzuki, Green Party leader and MP for Saanich-Gulf Islands Elizabeth May, climate scientist and UVic professor Andrew Weaver, environmental lawyer and Indigenous rights activist Caleb Behn, Fort Nelson First Nation Chief Sharleen Wildeman, environmental activist Ken Wu and adjunct UVic law professor Judith Sayers. Vancouver-based musician Dan Mangan provided the musical entertainment for the evening. Mr. Floatie (a costumed mascot promoting a Victoria secondary sewage treatment plant), who was uninvited, also made an appearance but didn’t make it beyond the foyer before being asked to leave. The local sewage activist, known as James Skwarok without the costume, is in favour of the proposed $783-million secondary sewage treatment plant in Esquimalt, which Galloway has spoken out against. There was no specific mention of the sewage plan at the rally. May, whose speech got the most standing ovations of the night, said her life as the only Green MP in Canada is not lonely. “I’m not lonely in terms of my social connections, my ability to make friends [in Parliament] . . . but what I do have is a distinct lack of resources,” said May. “When I leave the room for a moment, there’s always the risk of unanimous consent on something flying through [without my input].” May said she wants to see an MP’s ability to make a difference restored. “There are a lot of bright, wonderful people in all the other parties . . . we’re electing a bunch of people who really care about their communities . . . and find themselves, once elected, to be meaningless cogs in a [hyper-partisan] political machine,” she said.

The rally was the first meeting between Galloway and Suzuki, who praised the MP candidate and congratulated him on his running. “Greens are far more than just being about protecting trees and birds,” said Suzuki. “Social justice issues are at the heart of the green movement.” On Friday, the Times Colonist printed an interview with Suzuki saying he did not endorse Galloway, despite his presence and words of support at the rally. The Greens had listed Suzuki as an endorser on brochures, but later said it was a mistake. Aside from the words of praise for Galloway, Suzuki criticized Prime Minister Stephen Harper for damaging Canada’s international reputation in not handling climate change and for using the federal government’s focus on economy as an excuse for not investing in climate action. “Surely, our economy is made up of climateaffected areas like agriculture, forestry . . . fisheries, tourism and winter sports,” said Suzuki. “So to say our economy is our concern and ignore climate change seems to me absolutely irresponsible. “Greens understand the economy is a means to something else. But it’s certainly not the end. We now seem to be serving the economy as if it’s some kind of entity that’s just got to be served,” he explained. Galloway, a UVic law professor, had the last words of the night. He spoke of Harper’s “vicious, vindictive” refugee laws as well as immigration and criminal justice laws that need to be changed. As co-chair of the legal research committee for the Canadian Association of Refugee Lawyers — an association he helped to form in 2011 — he had to bring these issues to the attention of MPs. He said May was the only MP who truly understood the bills the government was introducing. Galloway, who is originally from Scotland and began teaching in Victoria in 1989, said, “I came to Canada because I found its culture, politics and people to be warm, friendly and communitarian-oriented. I chose this society. This society has now disappeared, and now I’m ready to fight for it back.”

UVSS.CA November 29, 2012 MARTLET • NEWS 5


NEWS: World

Check out martlet.ca for more news from the world stage, including web editor Liz McArthur's updates from her stint in Honduras, where she acted as an human rights watchdog.

Division within Syrian opposition propagates violence despite new coalition

> VANESSA HAWK Forces opposed to Syrian President Bashar alAssad’s repressive regime continue to face challenges despite forming a coalition organization officially recognized by the European Union, six Persian Gulf countries and the United Kingdom. The Assad regime has denied its citizens civil liberties and forced imprisonment, torture and death on those speaking out against government. Over the last few months, the international community has urged the disparate factions of Syrians demanding democratic reform and Assad’s resignation to unite for an end to the latest conflict, which began in March 2011 and has since become one of the region’s most bloody conflicts. The coalition, called the National Coalition of Syrian Revolutionary and Opposition Forces, gained official recognition from members of the international community shortly after its formation on Nov. 11. The Canadian government has held off declaring official recognition, citing concerns that religious minorities are not represented under the new organization. Even with the international support the coalition has received, there are still many non-affiliated factions acting as anti-Assad forces. One of the most prominent opposition forces, the Free Syrian Army (FSA), is still operational but has lost legitimacy with many Syrians. “There is no such thing as Free Syrian Army now — it’s just a hundred different militias all with different agendas and goals, fighting in

250.595.6044

6 NEWS • MARTLET November 29, 2012

different ways, all kind of loosely aligned under one name,” says a 23-year-old Canadian woman who asked not to be named and who now lives in Damascus, the capital city of Syria. She says her neighbourhood is the safest in Damascus, but because the community is mostly pro-government, the security checkpoint there is frequently attacked by opposition forces. “Some of [the FSA forces] I’m sure conduct themselves properly, but for the most part, the general opinion these days is that the FSA has destroyed Syria . . . the divides in society are way too deep now to be fixed any time soon.” She also says that many Syrians do not care who wins, so long as the violence ends. Sanctions, including asset freezes and dealings prohibitions, have been imposed on entities associated with Assad’s regime by Canada and other countries. “The economy is crashing pretty fast. The sanctions are impacting everyone’s lives, and everyone is tied into this conflict in some way nowadays. They’ve lost someone they know, or their house, or someone they know lost someone they know,” she says. The question remains whether the establishment of an opposition government would end the violence. UVic humanities professor Andrew Wender spoke at a panel for Amnesty International in early October as a specialist in Syrian history and politics. “I think that this could go on for a very long time,” he says. “And even if Assad falls, perhaps especially when and if Assad falls,

the kind of civil conflict that would follow as the different forces in Syria jockey for a position in a new government could see the conflict deepen and spiral in unforeseen ways.” The violence in the Syria civil conflict has escalated in recent months. More than 40 000 people have been killed since the conflict began 20 months ago. The number of displaced persons pouring into neighbouring countries like Jordan, Lebanon, Turkey and Iraq tripled between June and October this year. More than 311 500 Syrian refugees were registered with the UN Refugee Agency as of Oct. 2. Assad’s forces continue to carry out a brutal crackdown on those who oppose the regime, calling protestors “foreign-backed terrorists” and “saboteurs.” Assad justifies his regime’s participation in the conflict as aiming to restore peace to Syria by fighting terrorists in the country. Assad has been Syria’s president since 2000, following his father’s 29-year reign. “As brutal as he is, that is Assad’s whole argument. He argues that he is the one bastion of, as he put it, secularism and stability in the region,” says Wender. “And this is one of the main ways the Assad regime has sold its legitimacy for a long time, which is saying that, ‘It is us or chaos.’ ” Assad also aligns his regime with a union called the Axis of Resistance, which represents itself as standing up against Western imperialism (such as American- and UN-led intervention — military or otherwise) and includes Iran and Lebanon. Russia historically shares this aversion to Western intervention and in its capacity as a Security

Council member has repeatedly vetoed any UN-sanctioned intervention (as has China). Syria represents Russia’s closest Middle Eastern ally. Countries from the West, Turkey and several Persian Gulf countries like Saudi Arabia and Qatar, though they’ve taken different steps to address the Syria situation, are alike in their condemnation of civilian massacres led by the Assad regime. “Canada calls on all members of the UN Security Council to join in condemning these actions,” said Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird in a statement in July, “including those members who have previously supported the regime, and to adopt a strong resolution that contains binding sanctions against the Assad regime.” Canada has enacted a cautious response to the Syria situation; it has imposed sanctions of increasing scope and severity since May 2011 and lent vocal support to Syrian opposition rather than recognizing the National Coalition of Syrian Revolutionary and Opposition Forces or supporting a recent proposal by Turkey to place missiles along the Turkish-Syrian border. The sheer array of domestic and international actors and each of their interests in the Syria conflict has complicated prospects of a resolution. “The problem now is the cycle of violence has gone on so far,” says Wender, “and there’s such deep hatred and hard feelings within the country now that it can be very difficult to see how you are going to bring about a resolution to this which is going to satisfy and bring peace to a meaningful number of people.”


NEWS: Provincial

HUGO WONG

B.C. launches anti-bullying website Anonymous reporting tool included on new ERASE Bullying website > VANESSA HAWK The launch of the ERASE Bullying website (erasebullying.ca) on Nov. 13 is the latest addition to the B.C. government’s 10-point anti-bullying strategy. The website not only provides students, parents and educators with resources and information; it also offers students a place to anonymously report incidents online. “A lot of times, bullying doesn’t just happen physically in the schoolyard; it happens 24-7,” said Minister of Education Don McRae at the Nov. 13 ERASE summit in Vancouver. “It happens in your home, when you’re online, and then it comes into the school system as well. It’s a really changing environment, and so our strategy needs to evolve with this changing environment.” The ERASE program — an acronym for Expect Respect And a Safe Education — was announced on June 1 by Premier Christy Clark. The five-year training plan for 15 000 educators and community members began in October, and the Ministry of Education held an overview training session for the safe school co-ordinators for each of B.C.’s 60 school districts. The ministry says training will cover violence threat risk assessment and fostering safe and caring school communities. The ERASE reporting tool allows students to report a bullying incident that they witnessed or were involved in, and this information is securely sent to the safe school co-ordinator in that student’s school district. The safe school co-ordinator then decides the appropriate action to take or alerts the police if necessary. This system will also help identify bullying trends and hot spots in B.C. The program is the first strategy to combat bullying that is co-ordinated across the province. Between 1994 and 2006, at least one in three adolescent students in Canada reported being bullied recently. Peer victimization online is so common that the term cyberbullying was added to the Oxford English dictionary in 2011. The consequences of bullying are at the forefront of B.C.’s social conscience after Coquitlam 15-year-old Amanda Todd committed suicide last month because of cyberbullying. Sibylle Artz, a professor at UVic’s school of

child and youth care, commends the thoroughness of resources on the ERASE website but believes that localized, team-based approaches are most effective in reducing bullying in schools. “It’s always terrific to have some resource [like the ERASE website] to consult,” says Artz, “but it doesn’t take the place of somebody helping you. And it can’t take the place of human support and human interaction.” Artz was involved in a five-year project beginning in 1995 in 22 schools in a lower Vancouver Island school district. The project reduced school-based violence by 40 per cent according to tracked incident reports, vandalism repair costs and surveys. This was achieved by having a team at each school made up of students, teachers, parents and community members who assessed their school’s particular needs and developed their own violence prevention program. “I think that one co-ordinator per district isn’t enough. When we did our program, which worked very well, we had a team in each school because each school is a culture unto itself. And with that vast age range, K through 12, there are really important development differences in elementary schools, middle schools and high schools.” Artz also highlights the importance of regularly evaluating anti-bullying programs and changing them as they go — a strategy both Minister McRae and staff at the Ministry of Education incorporated into the ERASE Bullying program. “The ERASE Bullying strategy is a longterm, evolutionary project,” said Minister McRae at the summit. “If we’re missing the mark and we need to do better, then we can continue to evolve the website and the program to meet the needs of our pretty dynamic and exciting culture.” The ministry is currently developing community protocols and provincial guidelines while reviewing feedback gathered at the antibullying summit. The summit brought together young people, educators and experts to discuss how to deal with bullying online and in schools across the province.

November 29, 2012 MARTLET • NEWS 7


BUSINESS & TECH

Have you put a gadget on your Christmas list? Tell us all about it. Email businesstech.martlet@gmail.com.

TIME TO PLAY

Play outside or save a world . . . or do both > NINA NEISSL This issue of the Martlet is dedicated to the environment, so I’m tempted to recommend shutting down whatever electronic device you are using for playing video games, getting out of the chair, meeting your best buddies and stepping out into the fresh air to play some real-life games, for old times’ sake. Enjoy and remember how easy life was when your biggest worry was that some other kid would take your perfect hiding spot. Using Mother Nature as a playground has one big advantage: you don’t need any electricity to get the game going. Besides: it doesn’t cost you any money. You get some exercise and a good dose of laughter. It can be quite liberating to turn back time and play outside like the 10-year-old version of yourself. So, I guess my recommendation for this week would be hide-and-seek. But I did promise to present you one free browser game in every Business & Tech section, didn’t I? So, in the spirit of this week’s special topic, prepare yourself to save a planet (or an asteroid to be more accurate) in Samorost, a point-andclick adventure. The game — released in 2003 — was actually the thesis project of Jakub Dvorský, the founder of Amanita Design, a small yet successful game development studio in the Czech Republic. Samorost became quite popular thanks to its surrealistic graphics and its soundtrack, which picks up on the different settings in Samorost. The soundtrack is even important for the gameplay. With the first click, you are thrown into Samorost’s short intro sequence, which shows the main character, a little space gnome in what appears to be pyjamas, on its home asteroid. Unfortunately,

its home is threatened because another asteroid is on a collision course with our gnome’s little world. Our hero has no choice but to get into a rocket and fly to the intruding asteroid to find a way to change its course. As soon as the rocket lands, you take over and the game starts. You can’t navigate the space gnome itself; instead, you have to find clues and solve puzzles so that it can make its way to the engine room. Yes, the asteroid has a navigation centre — how convenient. Just as you’d expect from a point-and-click adventure, you use your mouse or track pad to click on characters, animals, machines and other items to activate them. That might sound a bit cryptic, but you’ll see what I mean as soon as you start Samorost. This is a game whose puzzles include things like helping a man catch a fish. You also meet all kinds of strange characters, such as a man with a light-bulb head and a squirrel with a record player. The goal of the game is to help the space gnome save its asteroid so that it can return home safely. Samorost, like many other free games, doesn’t have a very long storyline, but its unconventional, non-linear style will keep you occupied for a while. The puzzles are far from predictable, and Samorost uses every tiny pixel to hide clues. Since the release of Samorost, the developers have gained more recognition. Unfortunately for us, this means that their newer games are not free to play. However, Samorost 2 and Machinarium, two video games in the same style, offer free demo versions the same length as Samorost. Both Samorost and the demos can be played in your browser.

REBECCA COMEAU

New fishing net wins engineering award Some experts warn SafetyNet may exacerbate fishing industry problems > TIA LOW In early November, the James Dyson Award, worth a total of 20 000 British pounds, went to the inventor and supporters of SafetyNet, a fishing net designed to make trawling more sustainable. The James Dyson Foundation, a charity of British billionaire vacuum cleaner maker James Dyson, runs the international award for student engineers. Behind the SafetyNet is now-graduated master's of engineering student Dan Watson, who was inspired by commercial fisheries’ struggle to fish sustainably. He created the fishing net for his final project at the Glasgow School of Art. SafetyNet’s main innovation is its escape rings, which are reinforcing thermoplastic rings that hold the net’s mesh holes open to allow small and juvenile fish to escape while retaining the larger, targetted fish. In regular nets, the holes typically close up as a result of tension as the trawl moves through water. The small fish that get trapped are then thrown back into the ocean, but are often already dead by that time because of the pressure changes as they are brought to the surface. Watson began the project in 2008 and submitted

it for the James Dyson Award this year. The James Dyson Award includes two cash prizes, approximately C$16 000 each, for the student inventor and their university department. “Firstly, the prize money will rapidly accelerate the development of the prototypes,” wrote Watson in an email interview with the Martlet. “Secondly, the exposure from the award has meant that people have been coming forward and offering help, whether it’s in the form of testing facilities or even the use of a trawler. That will massively affect the speed at which the project can move forward.” The World Resources Institute (WRI) says one billion people, mostly in developing nations, rely on fish as their main source of animal protein. But today, more than 70 per cent of the world’s fisheries are either fully exploited or depleted. WRI, along with other research institutes and departments, like Fisheries and Oceans Canada, warn that without sustainable fishing methods, oceanic fisheries won’t be able to match our growing demands for fish. Watson consulted with fishermen and industry experts and looked at fisheries research for ideas. “Most of the research was based on experimen-

8 BUSINESS & TECH • MARTLET November 29, 2012

tal observations from around 30 years’ worth of work done by different fisheries institutes around the world,” wrote Watson. “The interviews brought some of the industry issues to light, and the research helped find physical and behavioural phenomena [in fish] that might aid in trying to solve those issues.” For example, he learned that cod, which are endangered, tend to swim towards the seabed to hide when under threat. Other fish, like haddock, which are more plentiful, swim upward when stressed. With this in mind, Watson made the net so that the top half is fine mesh to stop the marketable fish from escaping, while the bottom half is large mesh to allow the endangered cod to escape without injury. The very end of the net, which is shaped like a long, narrow cylinder trailing behind the bottom half of the net, is where the fish are retained and is also where the escape rings are placed, allowing the small haddock (and other fish that exhibit similar behaviour) to escape. The rings are illuminated so the fish can see there is an exit. Philip Dearden, professor and chair of UVic’s Department of Geography, raises one concern about

the SafetyNet: it could exacerbate the problem of fish getting smaller through contemporary evolution as we wipe out the larger fish. “Big fish may differ genetically from small fish. As we wipe out the big one, we remove their genes from the reproductive pool,” he wrote in an email interview. Dearden says larger, older, female fish have a higher reproductive capacity. He cites the Big Old Fat Fecund Female Fish (BOFFFF) hypothesis, which states that by letting smaller fish escape, we are selecting for smaller fish with lower reproductive potential. “The BOFFFF suggests that these are the very ones we should be saving, not preferentially hunting,” wrote Dearden of the larger fish. When asked about his thoughts on this theory, Watson said he hadn’t heard of it before but is willing to look into it. “The aim is to release juvenile fish, whether they are from a larger or smaller species, which could eventually grow to become large fish,” wrote Watson. “The net may work in some fisheries . . . but it is not an answer,” wrote Dearden. “Just fish less. That’s the answer.”


What do you do to save energy at home?

UNCOMMON CENTS

Socially Responsible Investing grows in popularity Can your investments really be virtuous and financially profitable? > MICHAEL HEMMINGS Socially Responsible Investing (SRI) is any form of financial investment that seeks to combine non-harmful social impact with financial return. SRI promotes practices that consciously focus on human rights and social justice issues, fair trade, diversity and consumer and environmental protection. SRI stocks often avoid the so-called “sin stocks” — areas such as pornography, weapons and the military, alcohol and tobacco. Some who practise SRI also refuse to have investments in oil/ gas and mining or in certain countries where human rights abuses continue. People are choosing SRI not just to avoid the negative “sin stocks,” but also because they want to positively invest in their communities and make a difference in the world while they earn money. The desire that investments do social good, not just make profit regardless of negative consequences, has a religious background in Western culture. Both the Quakers and early Methodists in England 250 years ago advised their adherents to not support businesses that engaged in slavery or perpetrated unhealthy working conditions. This impulse to care for the human race and the planet, though no longer always derived from a religious or spiritual sensibility, propels today’s belief that SRI needs to become more widespread. In its beginnings in the 1960s, modern SRI was considered by many to be a nice ideal, but impractical. Many held the notion that investment goes where profit grows, and that there would never be enough investors or interest in SRI for that reason. It was considered dangerous as well, I suspect, because people thought that if companies had to start being accountable for how they were making

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their profits, those profits might drop. This could lead to bankrupcy and money loss for investors. However, SRI is now in the trillions of dollars. Depending on the investment fund, who manages it, its diversity and other basic investing principals, SRI funds are holding their own in terms of making profit for investors. In 2011, two economists produced a study entitled Vice vs. Virtue Investing Around the World in which they found “no compelling evidence in the data that ethical and unethical screens [to investment options] led to a significant difference in their financial performance.” It appears that you can engage in SRI and be both virtuous and financially successful at the same time. However, like all investing, it has to be done carefully, with due attention to your capacity for risk, how much time you have to invest, the reputability of the company with which you are dealing and the wisdom and knowledge of your advisor. You don’t want to be sick to your stomach when you read about wild market swings in the morning newspaper. One thing is certain: if more people decide to invest in SRI portfolios, less money will be invested in enterprises that are more harmful to the planet, to human beings and to our societies. This means that some of these investments will die out through lack of interest or a healthy disgust at their barbarity (for example, the recent closing of the last asbestos mine in Canada). If you’d like to learn more about SRI, the Canadian Association for Socially Responsible Investment is a good place to start (socialinvestment.ca). In the next Uncommon Cents column, we will look at the TFSA, a four-letter acronym that can save you money on your taxes (to a point), and how it fits into an overall savings strategy.

CAITLIN BURRITT Second year Germanic Studies

JAROSLAW PANKOWSKI Second-year grad student Microbiology

“I guess, mostly trying not to have too many lights on at the same time, and I always go around turning them off after everyone else and . . . sort of making sure that all the technology I’ve got is sort of shut down when I’m not using it. And I try not to take showers that are too long, basically.”

“So, overall I don’t really think about saving energy every day. I mean, I guess, I think I do as much as I need and no more, and that’s as much as I can do, and that’s it.”

ARIANA MCLEOD Second year Biopsychology

BRUCE NELSON Fifth year Sociology

“We just do the basic things, really, like making sure we turn the lights off when we leave the room . . . and turning the heat off when we leave and that kind of thing. And keeping all the windows closed so we don’t let out too much air . . . and we recycle.”

“Hanging clothes on the clothesline rather than putting them in the dryer as often as possible (as the weather permits in Victoria); keep the lights out when you’re not in the room and unplugging things from the wall when they’re not in use — three major energy savers at home.”

> DOCUMENTED BY NINA NEISSL

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Removing barriers for an inclusive and accessible society > ANDREA ERNST Dec. 3 marks the United Nations’ International Day of Persons with Disabilities. Here at UVic, there are approximately 950 students either self-declared or declared by the provincial or federal governments as persons with disabilities. On Dec. 3, a presentation called “Celebrate Diversabilities in Recognition of International Persons with Disabilities Day” will be held from 1–3 p.m. in the Michèle Pujol Room (Student Union Building). This discussion will feature a panel of speakers, including self-advocates Shelley DeCoste and Sheenagh Morrison, and I encourage all to attend. In the lead-up to Dec. 3, we should ask ourselves: what does it mean to be a person with disabilities to you, to me, to all of us who form UVic’s multicultural, multidimensional student body? The United Nations’ definition of the term is “all persons with disabilities including those who have long-term physical, mental, intellectual or sensory impairments which, in interaction with various attitudinal and environmental barriers, hinders their full and effective participation in society on

an equal basis with others.” The UN goes on to point out that a person with disabilities may be regarded as a person with a disability in one society or setting, but not in another, depending on the role that the person is assumed to take in his or her community. “The perception and reality of disability also depend on the technologies, assistance and services available, as well as on cultural considerations,” the UN explains. Personally speaking, I wear both the federal and provincial labels of “disabled.” My disability affects both my biochemical structure and my physical well-being — essentially, my bones weep trauma. My chronic physical illness is the result of accumulative trauma — trauma passed down through three generations or more. To say I am driven to raise awareness around this issue would be an understatement. I also feel considerable shame around the entire concept of disability. In reading over most basic historical records on disabilities, I can easily see why I would feel this way. I was born into a world that, while privileged enough here in Canada, also marginalized all people who were not considered the norm. It is almost shocking to read in UN documents

that “[t]he 1970s marked a new approach to disability” as “[t]he concept of human rights for persons with disabilities began to be accepted internationally.” For me, it is totally unimaginable that the concept of human rights for any disabled person would even have to be identified. In 1982, the UN General Assembly followed up on 1981’s International Year of Disabled Persons by adopting, on Dec. 3, 1982, the World Programme of Action concerning Disabled Persons. According to the UN’s website, “The Programme restructured disability policy into three distinct areas: prevention, rehabilitation and equalization of opportunities.” I am particularly compelled by the concept of prevention, as it is my sincere belief that poverty creates multigenerational trauma and its coexistent possibility of severe addiction, which in turn fosters many symptoms of mental illness. Though UVic has a long way to go in reducing exhausting paperwork and helping alleviate student poverty, it is nevertheless important to recognize UVic’s significant attempts at the removal of barriers for disabled UVic students. The Resource Centre for Students with a Disability (RCSD) is the university administration’s official support net-

work for disabled students. It was my entry point into the UVic Students with a Disability system. My experience at UVic has been in so many ways one of inclusion. I returned to UVic this summer after an absence of 25 or so years. Both the professors with whom I spent many long summer hours were so generous in their understanding of my at times confused, stressed and bewildered state — I did not know what Moodle was and could not tolerate a film that may have been simple enough to other students but for me carried powerfully destructive images. Much of the summer term was a serious challenge. Not once did I feel in any way that I was considered anything but an at times too loud, silver-haired woman with a whole lot to say. The UVic Health Clinic provided me with what had been missing in my life for the past few years: weekly, high-quality medical care. I would not be writing these words today without the amazing, gentle patience I experienced from both my doctors and the nurses. The human face of UVic has been one of welcome. Blessings on Dec. 3, 2012, and on a fabulous UVic community that does so much to remove barriers for many of us who have experienced them.

Leaf blowers should A+ for Supreme Court be banned in Victoria Supreme Court rules B.C. school system > TERRAKA JONES He stands there looking like something out of Ghostbusters, an intruder in our neighbourhood. He’s wearing battle gear — giant goggles, ear protectors and a baseball cap. He looks proud and important as he grasps the powerful, metallic, two-stroke phallus with his right hand, blasting away any debris impudent enough to disturb the pristine driveway. In my yard next door, thrushes and robins explode skyward. Squirrels abandon their acorns, leaping from branch to branch in a frantic scramble away from the noise. A stag lurches to its feet from under a Douglas fir. The bird feeder that swarmed with nuthatches, finches and chickadees moments earlier swings abandoned. It feels like I’m being violated. I’m sure he’s the same guy who power-hoses the driveway in spring to make sure nothing organic is visible on the black asphalt. I scowl and mutter obscenities. Obsessed and determined, he ignores me. I hope he can lip-read. I’m not just being a hothead. According to one American anti-leaf-blower group, Greenwich CALM (Citizens Against Leafblower Mania), the narrow frequency bandwidth of noise emitted by leaf blowers regularly provokes rage. In an odd way, I feel relieved it’s not just me, but the whole world that’s going mad. Noise pollution is a serious problem. Vancouver city council passed a motion to ban leaf blowers in 2001; the ban came into effect in 2004. To aid in their deliberations, former B.C. cabinet minister and UBC neuroscientist Pat McGeer provided a compelling argument against the machines by firing up a gaspowered leaf blower in council chambers. The noise level reached 102 decibels at 1.5 metres and 90 decibels across the room. According to the American Hearing Research Foundation, exposure to noise in excess of 85 decibels causes hearing loss. As it turns out, I should feel sorry for my blow-hard neighbour. There’s a very good chance the noise from his leaf blower has already permanently damaged his hearing. But it’s not just the noise we should worry about. Gasoline-powered leaf blowers contribute significantly to air pollution. Their emissions include carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides and hydrocarbons. Research by the

Los Angeles chapter of the American Lung Association shows that a leaf blower operated for one hour causes as much pollution as a car driven for 100 miles. In addition, these high-velocity machines blow many harmful substances into the air including pesticides, heavy metals, fungi, dirt, ash, mould spores and fecal matter from rodents and other animals. These substances have been known to exacerbate allergies, asthma and emphysema as well as contribute to cardiac conditions such as arrhythmia. Citizens across North America have rallied against leaf blowers, and many cities have banned them. The City of Victoria’s Noise Bylaw allows for the operation of leaf blowers in residential areas “only between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. on a weekday” and “between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. on a Saturday, Sunday or holiday.” That’s fantastic! They’ve left me such a window of opportunity for peaceful gardening. I can’t wait to set my alarm for six in the morning on weekdays so I can get half an hour of quiet weeding in before I head out for the day. Better yet, I can put on night-vision goggles when I get home so I can see well enough to straighten out the flowerbeds. I’m heartened to see they’ve been even more generous with us on weekends so we can garden in our dark yards at a more leisurely pace. I can’t wait. The bylaw also states that blowers must be less than 65 decibels when tested at full throttle. I wonder how most of Victoria’s leaf blowers measure up and who’s checking on their noise levels. The old-fashioned alternative to leaf blowers has many benefits. The American Council for Fitness and Nutrition says that the average person burns approximately 150 calories in half an hour of leaf raking. In addition, raking builds upper body, core and trunk strength. And if you rake leaves instead of blowing them, you might find yourself using the additional 12 muscles required to smile back at the folks next door. Victoria may be known as the City of Gardens, but if leaf blowers prevail, it may soon have to change its name to the City of Landscape Gardeners as fewer and fewer people are able to enjoy working on their own properties.

10 OPINIONS • MARTLET November 29, 2012

discriminated against dyslexic student > ROSE MARIANA ROBB On Nov. 9, 2012, the Supreme Court of Canada found that Jeffrey Moore, a dyslexic child, was discriminated against in the B.C. public school system. This ruling overturned the verdicts of both the B.C. Supreme Court and the B.C. Court of Appeals regarding Moore, who attended public school in North Vancouver from 1991–1994. Moore was eight years old when his father first filed a human rights complaint on his behalf. This recent ruling marked the successful end of more than 15 long years of litigation. The Moore family celebrated this win on CBC News national television, and many Canadians cheered along with them. The court ruling, however, was not universally supported. The Globe and Mail denounced the decision in a same-day editorial. This editorial thundered warnings about impractical standards that “few if any school boards meet” and claimed that schools will be “forced to bleed other programs.” The article compared the overturned verdict to opening Pandora’s box, implying that we can’t afford to meet the needs of students with disabilities, that these needs are unending and unimaginable and that the children are a costly and exhausting burden. When Moore was a child in kindergarten, it became apparent that he would have trouble learning to read. By grade one, he displayed all the signs of severe dyslexia. By the time he reached grade two, the public school system had cut programs for “special needs” and any chance that he could learn to read in the public system was lost. His parents were advised to send him to private school. They did, but also filed a human rights complaint claiming that the school district and the province had discriminated against their child on the basis of disability. Most of us learn to read in the first two or three years of school. After that, we use our reading skills to learn everything else in the school curriculum. For a severely dyslexic child, a lack of specialized instruction in the first three years of school means that their education is over before it really begins. It’s

not just that the child may benefit in some way from extra services and resources; rather, the link between literacy and learning is so fundamental that, without a way to read, children are essentially excluded from learning. For some children, these extra services could mean specialized instruction, instruction in an alternate method of reading, like Braille, or the use of computer software for reading. The Supreme Court decision in the Moore case identifies a long-standing injustice towards children with reading disabilities; it doesn’t mandate an unlimited obligation towards every child with any kind of disability. With intensive specialized instruction, Moore did learn to read and finished school in the private system. He could have received this support in the public system, and he should have. In my work as executive director of Access UVic, an advocacy group for disabled students on campus, I hear about the school experiences of many members with severe learning disabilities who are Moore’s contemporaries. They describe the way they were “passed” from grade to grade despite being functionally illiterate. They describe school years of hiding in the back row pretending to read and feeling frightened of the inevitable humiliation that would come when it was discovered they could not. One dyslexic student said they graduated from high school with a grade two education. Members of Access who are now in their 60s, some of whom are dyslexic, remember sitting in classroom corners wearing dunce caps. One member, despite an IQ in the Mensa range, only learned to read at 52, and only then, after a lifetime of manual labour, did he finally gain meaningful access to education. Much of the progress made by people with disabilities has been through the courts. In Canada, parents have had to battle for access to education for their children, often at great emotional and financial cost. Only reluctantly did schools open their doors to students with disabilities. Happily, the long court challenge on behalf of Moore, now 25, resulted in a landmark decision that will benefit many children for years to come. Congratulations, and thank you to the Moore family.


EDITORIAL

LETTERS UNIONS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR UVIC’S PROBLEMS RE: “UNIONS RESPONSIBLE FOR FINANCIAL MESS” (LETTERS, NOV. 8)

KLARA WOLDENGA

BP’s payout only a drop in the ocean In April 2010, a massive oil spill blighted the Gulf of Mexico in the wake of an explosion on the deep-sea drilling rig Deepwater Horizon. Extensive damage to marine life, coastal industry and the livelihoods of thousands of Americans characterized the Deepwater Horizon spill — the largest oil spill in United States history.

BUS DRIVERS DESERVE MORE RESPECT

William Perry’s letter in the Nov. 8th issue of the Martlet is insulting to unionized workers at UVic. Perry states that in fact it is union leadership and employees who are to blame for “putting the university’s budget on the path to fiscal unsustainability,” and this failure “is why most students find themselves in a financial mess.” I dispute the legitimacy and accuracy of his argument. With no evidence or explanation of his rationale for these bold and erroneous claims, Perry should realize that unionized workers, including union leadership, fight for workers’ rights and increased pay to match inflation rates. In my opinion, it is not this effort that has put students in a “financial mess,” but rather, it has more to do with the continued government cuts to post-secondary education in B.C. over the last 12 years. I encourage Perry to read some history and inform his opinions with legitimate sources. Certainly, union institutions are not free of blame and there are serious issues of accountability and representation in modern labour unions. However, for Perry to blame union workers for students’ financial burdens is both ignorant and insulting. I can see Perry’s overall point, and it is not lost on students at UVic; though, for Perry to play the blame game is juvenile and serves no constructive purpose for resolving financial issues at the university.

It has come to my attention that there was a recent article in the Martlet referring to bus drivers in a negative manner. As a bus driver who spends a great deal of my work time at UVic, I must respond. While many students are wonderful passengers, the worst moments in my career have all been at UVic. Students have held open the back doors of my bus and poured on board. They have crowded through the front door without registering a fare. Some have just walked by, smirking insolently at me and not paying a fare. I have been yelled at and called names for trying to address students who walk by without paying a fare (and you have a pass!). I have had students shout into my face at close range for no apparent reason. I, and all the other passengers, often have to endure high volumes of noise. When you’re trapped in the driver’s seat for hours, this all feels like a form of psychological battery, and an evening of it stays with me for several days. All of this may seem okay, since I’m just a bus driver. But you should know that I am an actual human being, a person who is trying his best to do his job, which is to transport students where they want to go. No one should have to endure that kind of abuse and lack of respect in their daily work. And I get to do it all over again tonight — Friday night on route four. So, if we sometimes appear to have a bad attitude, now you know why. John McMahen UVic alumnus

Andrew Andersen UVic student

Earlier this month, officials at British Petroleum (BP) announced that they had arrived at a settlement with the American government’s Department of Justice after two years of litigation. The massive power company has committed to pleading guilty to charges of manslaughter, and will pay a total of $4.5 billion in fines for violating environmental legislation — the largest such payout in U.S. legal history. Unfortunately, that’s not such a bold claim. As former environmental crime chief at the U.S. Department of Justice David M. Uhlmann said last week, BP’s fine is relatively small under the circumstances. In fact, a BP press release in October of this year announced that their third-quarter profits alone would top $5 billion, meaning BP can absorb this monster fee with little more than a hiccup. If fees are not high enough to dissuade environmental damage, America’s Environmental Protection Agency runs the risk of allowing companies to “pay to pollute.” And the problem of toothless protection agencies is not confined to America. Environment Canada’s fines have long been too low, and in many cases, taxpayers are left with most or all of the bill when it comes to cleaning up. Ecojustice, a Canadian charity that focuses on environmental law, reported last year that “Environment Canada took more than 20 years to collect $2.4 million in fines under the Canadian Environmental Protection Act. In comparison, the Toronto Public Library collected $2.6 million in fines for overdue books in 2009 alone.” In October, Cape Breton’s notorious Sydney tar ponds were in the news yet again. The tar ponds, which for years had the dubious distinction of being one of Canada’s most toxic hazardous waste sites, are entering the final, $17-million phase of a $400-million clean-up paid for by the provincial and federal governments. The original company, Domtar, abandoned its operations in 1962 and conducted little or no clean up. The Britannia Mine near Squamish is a more local example. The mine operated from 1900 until 1974 with little regard to the fact that its acidic tailings were polluting the nearby ground and waterways. Some steps were taken to lessen the impacts after the mine was shut down in 1974, but weak oversight in the following years caused an environmental disaster around the site. Britannia Creek, although crystal clear, would not support life, and there were problems nearby in Howe Sound as well. The Province eventually stepped in and fined the former operators a mere $30 million. Today, water is treated before flowing into the ocean and fish are reportedly returning to the area. If governments are to have any hope of reining in wanton environmental damage and pollution by corporations, they have to arm their protective agencies with enough staff, funding, and power to levy impactful fees. Otherwise, we might as well be printing out “buy 1 spill, get 1 free” coupons.

VOLUME 65 • ISSUE 9

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November 29, 2012 MARTLET • OPINIONS 11


Eco Tip Roundup Every two weeks, the Martlet offers an Eco Tip for saving some bucks and the environment. Because this week’s issue is environment-themed, we’ve dedicated two whole pages to Eco Tips. From how to manage your cables with reused material to planning a whole green wedding, we’ve got you covered. Use these tips as a starting point to rethink your consumer behaviour. Ask yourself before you take out the credit card: do I really need to buy that? Many things can be shared with friends or neighbours, such as lawn mowers or kitchen equipment that you use just once a year, or they can be swapped if not needed anymore. And some things can be reused in a totally different way, as you’ll see in the Eco Tips. So, before throwing stuff away — even twist-ties, grocery bags and orange peels — ask yourself whether you might be able to reuse them to save some money and to do Mother Nature a favour. If you try any of these tips out, send us a photo. Better yet, if you have a 200-word Eco Tip of your own that you’re dying to share, email businesstech.martlet@gmail.com to have it published in a future issue of the Martlet. Happy greening, everyone!

THROW A GREEN WEDDING BY ERIN BALL It happened. That special someone decided that you are “the one,” got down on one knee and popped the question. Joy! Now that you two lovebirds have decided on a date to celebrate your everlasting love and devotion, the fun part starts: wedding planning! Most people recently betrothed, unless they elope, are pretty keen on planning their special day. But coming up with a guest list, finding a venue, picking a wedding party and getting quotes from caterers can quickly start looking like an upcoming bio-chem midterm: stressful — with the added bonus of being expensive. It’s no secret that weddings can be pricey. And all those streamers, flowers, invitations and tulle can add up to a big ol’ carbon footprint. Fortunately, at the risk of being called hipster, you can take a few steps to reduce the cost and impact on the environment. For example, my cousin Sarah recently married her dream man, Charlie. Sarah and Charlie wanted to keep their invitations inexpensive and eco-friendly, but being fans of the traditional, they wanted to send something in the mail rather than those online invites. So they gathered up a few Thrifty’s brown paper grocery bags, cut them into letter-sized sheets of paper, mocked up their invites on the computer (no need to be a whiz; they did it in Microsoft Word) and printed them out. They carefully cut out the invites, stamped them with homemade stamps, and voilà! Sarah had managed to trick Charlie into doing crafts, and the two of them had some memorable invites at a low cost. They did something similar with the thank-you notes as well. To save on other aspects of the big day, Sarah rented the dishes for her wedding from someone she found on Craigslist. This recently wedded individual had visited thrift stores to put together an eclectic collection of dishes to use at his wedding. To cover the cost, he now rents those dishes out for events like other weddings. Sarah and Charlie also eschewed a florist. Since their wedding was in October, a friend had an abundance of dahlias blooming in her backyard. The venue was decorated at an extremely low cost with gorgeous bundles of multi-coloured dahlias. And they chose a caterer who uses locally sourced ingredients where possible. This craftiness and innovation can be applied to all aspects of wedding planning. All it takes is a little brainstorming with your honey.

12 FEATURE • MARTLET November 29, 2012

& SHOE DEODORIZER: A CHEAP AND EARTH-FRIENDLY FIX BY KEVIN UNDERHILL I don’t see the appeal in buying expensive shoe deodorizers. As an athlete, every pair of my shoes, cleats and skates smells terrible, and I don’t have the means to buy a fancy-smelling ball to drop in each one. Not only are deodorizing balls and sprays pricey to buy, they can harm the environment as well with their excessive packaging and chemical content. My solution: a lime. Hit up your local grocery on your way home from practice this week and grab a couple of limes for a few bucks. I cut the limes in half and pop them in my funky-smelling cleats. The citric acid neutralizes the bad smell and keeps your hallway fresh. The “lime-odorizer” doesn’t overpower the room either; it simply eliminates the smell of foul feet. Trust me: your roommates will be thanking you for keeping your gear from stinking up the apartment. Another cheap and effective alternative to the expensive, over-packaged deodorizer is to go with the classic baking soda trick. If it works in your fridge, it will work in your kicks. Instead of spraying your front closet with Axe, sprinkle a dusting of baking soda in your shoes and check out the results. Whether you are looking to save a few bucks or save the environment, lime and baking soda do the job. Easy on the Earth and even easier on your wallet, these household items can neutralize any scent you bring in.

OPEN YOUR MIND TO CHRISTMAS OPEN HOUSE IDEAS BY VANESSA ANNAND If you want to host a Christmas open house for all of your scholarly friends, you’ll have to get on it soon. After all, 70 per cent of UVic students come from outside of Victoria, so most will likely head home shortly after that last exam (and some don’t even have exams, lucky devils). With little time to prepare, you’re probably looking around your home and realizing that there are a whole host of little décor items that you’ve somehow failed to take care of since you moved in at the beginning of the semester. You never did get a wastebasket for the bathroom; instead, you’ve just hung a flaccid little grocery bag on a cupboard handle, and it occasionally spills dirty Kleenex on the bath mat. Your shoes are strewn all over your foyer, no shoe rack in sight. And you have no nice dishware for serving appetizers — just some tacky, ’70s plates you inherited from your Grandma in first year. There are plenty of receptacles that work as wastebaskets, so why get a new, plastic one? Try standing an old mailbox on its end (as long as it’s not still in use on, say, your neighbour’s lawn). Plant urns work well, too. Thrift stores usually have no shortage of wine racks, and even if you have no plans to dig out a wine cellar in your rental apartment (it’s tricky if you live anywhere but the first floor), you should stock up on them: they are great shoe organizers. And instead of investing in a whole new dish set, get some second-hand stemware. Everyone loves drinking out of fancy glasses at soirées, and you can use the extra glasses to transform your bland dishes into multi-tiered serving trays: just place a short-stemmed sherry glass in the middle of a dinner plate and stack a smaller plate on top. Presto! You’ve got a home for your fruitcake slices.


CLEAN GREEN BY KIMBERLEY VENESS Most people know vinegar is a great substitute for chemical household cleaners, but did you know you can spice it up with fruit peelings? Instead of inhaling the artificial lavender breeze or the fake fresh linen scent of regular cleaners, you could breathe in the real citrus scent of your orange peels. It’s easy! And if you don’t have access to a compost, this is an environmentally savvy way to get the most out of your orange. Follow these simple steps to make your own naturally scented cleaner. 1. Peel enough orange/grapefruit to fill your jar.

2. Pour the vinegar into the jar to cover the peels.

Did I mention it’s cheap, too? I used an old pickle jar and an empty spray bottle I had lying around from an old household cleaner. You can also pick up a spray bottle at any dollar store, but any kind of spray bottle that you might have at home should be good enough. Apart from that, you need vinegar and orange or grapefruit peels (whichever you have or prefer to smell).

3. Cover the jar tightly and store in a cool place for seven to 10 days.

4. Strain out the peels and pour the liquid into your spray bottle.

CABLE MANAGEMENT, ECO STYLE BY GLEN O’NEILL

ECO-FRIENDLY HAIR STYLING BY SHANDI SHIACH

We’ve all encountered a rat’s nest of cables. You know — that one behind your TV, home computer or nightstand? I’ve always struggled with cable management for my electronic devices, and despite all the advancements in wireless technologies, there doesn’t seem to be a reduction in the number of things that need to be plugged in. Cable management is key in preventing electronics-related fires and avoiding detangle rage. It can also help extend the life of your electronics by keeping the cables protected. Using some recycled items from around your house, you can perform some simple and effective cable-management tricks that can save your gear and protect your sanity. The two main goals of cable management are cable tidiness (no tangles) and cable sorting (no confusion). Have you ever accidentally kicked the power bar off and reset your alarm clock, making you late for that important interview for that job you never got? Keeping your cables tidy will protect them from flailing feet and dangerous baseboard heaters. Have you ever unplugged the wrong thing, shutting down the computer with that unsaved term paper you were working on? Cable sorting means labeling all your cables to prevent this from happening. There are some items you will need to collect over time: twist-ties, bread clips and cardboard tubes (from tinfoil, toilet paper, plastic wrap, wrapping paper, etc.). You’ll want a variety of colours for the bread clips; preferably two of each color. You’ll also want a couple of different sizes of cardboard tubes based on the sizes and lengths of the cables. Start off by shutting down and unplugging all your devices (yes, these are two separate steps). Figure out where things need to be plugged in and line up your cables in the most direct route to the power source. Allow for some slack. Gently attach bread clips to both ends of each cable. Use the same colour of clip on both ends of a given cable so it is easy to identify which cable it is next time you need to unplug the device. Next, you will want to group your cables by device and run them through a tube. Try to find a tube that covers most of the cable that's exposed on the floor. Once all your cables are sorted and through the tube, twist tie them together at both entrances to the tube and plug them back into their respective devices. If a table leg is available, twist-tie or tape the tube to the table leg to steady all your cables. Now you don’t have to worry about your desk catching on fire while you sleep through it because you accidentally unplugged your alarm clock when you couldn’t tell which plug it was. You’re welcome.

Ask your hair stylist or barber how their establishment disposes of waste, including compounds and trimmings. An eco-friendly firm, with the mission to make beauty sustainable, is gaining a foothold in Victoria offering weekly pick-up of leftover foils, tubes and colour goop, which then get recycled instead of ending up in landfills or the ocean. Green Circle Salons has 24 Vancouver Island clients so far (with many more in Vancouver and Toronto). Green Circle encourages participating businesses to charge a $1.50 eco-fee per appointment to pay for the recycling program and other environmentally conscious upgrades to the salons, like efficient lighting. The collected hair trimmings are used in booms for oil spills. This is just one way hairdressers can try to make the change towards sustainability. A number of coif shops in Victoria also advertise local, eco-friendly and sustainable services. It might not hurt to ask your favourite stylist what’s in that bottle. Also, let them know if you’d be willing to pay more for responsible recycling. Or do it yourself. That way you know exactly what materials are dealt with and how. Those who handle hair care at home alone or with friends might also consider adopting some eco-friendly practices. Natural waxes are a good routine swap-in for the chemicalbased styling products that get washed down drains at day’s end. And henna, especially in a cocoa butter base, adds some neat, semi-permanent colour effects that build off natural highlights (just maintain different temperatures and air exposure levels during the process to alter the outcome).

ENVIRONMENTALISM FOR BEER-PONG PLAYERS BY GEOFFREY LINE Plastics are bad. This is nothing revelatory. The university has already taken steps to reduce plastic bottle products on campus. Personalized, ceramic travel mugs are everywhere. Discounts given at coffee houses to customers who supply their own mugs are gaining popularity. What’s new? These eco-tips are addressed largely to undergraduate university students, and let’s be frank: undergrads drink, some even heavily. When essays aren’t being churned out and mid-terms aren’t being crunched through, many — not all — undergraduate students are partying: at pubs, bars, nightclubs and at home, where drinking games are prime. Consider how many plastic cups are purchased from supermarkets on Saturday nights only to be lobbed into the garbage on Sunday mornings. Flip cup. Beer pong. These games are unshakeable components of post-secondary culture, and their environmental footprint is a big and nasty one. Even if you’re less mindful on the weekend, it doesn’t mean you have to be environmentally mindless. Your eco-practices can extend past Monday to Friday. As a coffee drinker, you should reuse your mug. As a house-party host, provide your guests with reusable cups, or at the very least, use your sink or dishwasher for the red plastic ones and please refrain from buying a new jumbo pack of them every weekend.

THE CARTON COLLECTION BY NINA NEISSL Fruit juice, milk, cream, soup, pudding . . . all can be found in cartons. Most cartons consist of thin layers of cardboard, plastic and aluminum. Technically they can be recycled, but it’s not a very efficient process. As with any food packaging, avoiding is the best choice, reusing the second-best choice and recycling the last resort. Here are a few suggestions for how cartons can be transformed into useful things that will not only reduce your garbage but also save you some bucks. First, cut out the pictures on the front of the cartons into equal squares to make yourself some coasters for your next party. Cut the rest of the boxes into thin strips and weave them into pads that are around one-and-a-half inches in diameter. Finish the edges of the pads with tape or sew around them and you have a second set of fun coasters. Another great way of reusing a carton is to transform it into a take-out box for food. Just cut off the top part of the carton and fold it into the shape of a box. Apart from that, you can use the cartons as pots for plants and herbs or as a pot for painting utensils — again, just cut off the top. Browse the Internet for more ideas and you’ll find tons of tutorials for all kinds of nifty ways to reuse a carton, from purses to lamps to birdhouses.

November 29, 2012 MARTLET • FEATURE 13


CULTURE

Got some great ideas for DIY Christmas presents? Don't save it all for Pinterest. Write a step-by-step tutorial for culture. Email culture@martlet.ca.

MUSIC RAGS

KLARA WOLDENGA

Honour the earth, one song at a time A 14-song playlist that will make you groove for Gaia > BLAKE MORNEAU NEIL YOUNG & CRAZY HORSE – “MOTHER EARTH” Screaming out of the gate with a one-minute-plus guitar solo that sounds like it could belong in any Olympic opening ceremony, “Mother Earth” is a true anthem for our planet. Neil and his Crazy Horse cohorts use wonderful harmonies to encourage all to rethink how they treat our home. “Respect Mother Earth and her giving ways/Or trade away our children’s days.” SARAH HARMER – “ESCARPMENT BLUES” Ontario’s Sarah Harmer brings her achingly delicate voice to this track depicting the ongoing and dangerous pillaging of the Niagara Escarpment that runs from New York through Ontario to Illinois. The Escarpment connects many of the residents of these areas and is being systematically blasted for minerals, poisoning its water and ecosystems. “Escarpment Blues” is a beautiful little folk tune that brought my awareness to this ongoing problem. XAVIER RUDD – “MESSAGES” Xavier Rudd’s gentle slide guitar weaves its way forward while he sings of the need for awareness as Earth continues to go through the changes human beings have wrought upon it. Though the song acknowledges that we have indeed forced much of this change, no anger or preachiness come across. MOS DEF – “NEW WORLD WATER” Many social prognosticators foresee the wars of the future being fought over water, but listening to Mos Def’s scathing “New World Water,” one

might think that the war had already begun. A thoughtful treatise on the state of water in developing countries and the wastefulness of water use in developed nations, this track does what great hip-hop should: it tears the listener between wanting to groove and wanting to think. DAVE MATTHEWS BAND – “ONE SWEET WORLD” Nothing less than a celebration of the many great things that the Earth bestows on us, “One Sweet World” is a rousing, joyous paean to our dear Mother. While the music is as complex as anything you’re likely to hear, the lyrics are beautiful in their simplicity, portraying the wonder and comfort that comes from communing with nature. JOHN BUTLER – “OCEAN” Few artists have such a deep connection to nature so audible in all their music. John Butler has always been a soldier for the planet, and this song has been the most powerful in his arsenal since his humble busking beginnings. Armed with only his guitar, Butler builds a soundscape that does an incredible job of recreating the unpredictability of the ocean’s waves. It’s a truly arresting display of guitar mastery. WOODY GUTHRIE – “THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND” Does this really need any description? “This Land Is Your Land” has been emblazoned into the collective consciousness of everyone who has heard it since it was released in 1949. The song’s perfect simplicity has kept it a staple of protest singers for years, and it’s hard to imagine its impact being lessened as more change is forced upon our Earth.

14 CULTURE • MARTLET November 29, 2012

CAKE – “CARBON MONOXIDE” Like many of Cake’s songs, the seriousness of the subject matter (the poisoning of our air through our excessive use of vehicles) is undercut by the almost wacky sound of the music and singer John McCrea’s deadpan delivery. But one listen to the words he has laid down over the choppy guitar chords, and you can’t help but feel the serious tone. “After car after bus after car after truck/After this my lungs will be so fucked up.” FRANK OCEAN – “NATURE FEELS” “Nature Feels” is all about that most wonderful of activities — fornicating in the bliss of nature. It’s an incredible feat: Ocean takes something as innocent as enjoying nature and makes it wonderfully dirty, singing, “Baby girl, tell me how my nature feels.” MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD – “COOL WATER” Only available on the limited print Live in Alaska, this track finds Franti and his bandmates in full relaxation mode as they groove with acoustic guitars, electric slide and gently hushed drums that recreate the feeling of sitting on the shore on a beautiful summer day. Franti’s signature simplebut-evocative lyrics are on full display as he compares the love of his life to that most refreshing of things: cool water. CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL – “GREEN RIVER” A rollicking ode to the land of John Fogerty’s childhood — specifically Putah Creek, located in Northern California — “Green River” finds Fogerty and co. looking back on days of bullfrogs, catfish, barefoot girls and tree swings. The

song captures the restless energy of youth in the summer, bounding through fields and riverbeds, living for nothing but earthly pleasure. JACK JOHNSON – “THE 3 RS” A kids’ song that’s fun for everyone, “The 3 Rs” is a silly little track that covers the three Rs — Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. Built on “Three is a Magic Number” from Schoolhouse Rock!, the song has a classic feel that makes it easy to digest for nearly every listener. As a kids’ song, it’s also a perfect primer to get our young friends interested in what they can do to help our Earth. GREG BROWN – “SPRING WIND” Greg Brown’s thoughtful treatise on aging is heavy with his deep, abiding love of the environment. Whether he’s comparing himself and his love to “hippies in a tent” or professing his affinity for rivers and fishing, Brown gives one compelling reason after another for all us to ponder what it is about Earth that gives us that calm, relaxed feeling that it does. TOM JONES – “GREEN, GREEN GRASS OF HOME” As we all lose more of our Earth to urban growth, the small pockets of nature we grew up around become more precious. This lazy country/gospel track finds Jones coming back to his hometown, comforted by old friends like oak trees and his old sweetheart, Mary, running down the road. The music amplifies the bittersweet feeling in Jones’ voice as he realizes that none of this wonderful nostalgia that he’s feeling is real. “Then I awake and look around me/At four grey walls that surround me/And I realize, yes, I was only dreaming.”


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Lighthouse Brewing Company a local beacon of sustainability > TYLER LAING There are those of you who want so badly to celebrate St. Paddy’s Day with the liver-flinching vigour that such an occasion deserves, but who have an aversion to food colouring in your beverage: that is a truly unfortunate dichotomy. If only you could dive into a mug of artificially green beer with Irish abandon, painting your interior the same colour as your green-clad exterior. But fret not. If it’s green beer you long for, at least in an environmental sense, there is another option, and one that can be explored on days other than March 17 — any Lighthouse Brewing Company (LBC) brew. LBC is committed to sustainable environmental brewing practices. John Fitterer, LBC sales and marketing manager, says that along with maintaining such practices, the essence of the beer is the most important thing. “We buy the highest-quality ingredients, and it’s quality first for us,” he says. “I know that sounds a little bit cliché, but we’ve been known to dump the odd tank of beer when we don’t think it’s up to our standards.” Just as dumping a tank of beer isn’t cheap,

ensuring that all facets of their operation are environmentally sound isn’t cheap either. “Basically, everything we do costs a little bit more,” says Fitterer. “It’s the cost of doing business that we believe in. We would rather have a slightly smaller bottom line and all feel good about what we’re doing.” LBC poured its first batch of beer 15 years ago. From the outset, the company has been operating a zero-emissions manufacturing facility. Its stainless steel electric immersion element — a kettle, as opposed to the steam-producing gas-fired boilers commonly used — not only produces a more localized heat, but requires less energy as well and doesn’t burn hydrocarbons. When it comes to purchasing this equipment, Fitterer says they “try to source manufacturers who have the same commitment to the environment that we do. And it’s not always easy to do that, and again it’s not always the cheapest, but we really believe in sustainability, and it’s worth it to us.” LBC donates its spent grains to local organic farmers to be used as nutritionally dense livestock feed. The company also puts its liquid waste through an aerobic digestion process,

where microorganisms eliminate the biodegradable materials, then sends the solid waste to a local compost facility to aid soil nutrition. Fitterer says they spend thousands of dollars on waste-water treatment each year — between April 2009 and March 2010 the cost amounted to just over $15 500. “Technically, most of that could just go down the drain,” says Fitterer, “but it’s not a chance we are willing to take.” This effort toward sustainability has earned the company three Capital Regional District (CRD) EcoStar Awards for waste reduction. Contenders for the awards have to be nominated, and then the CRD does a thorough inspection to ensure all the business’s environmental claims line up. “They mean a lot to us,” says Fitterer of the awards. “It’s just a way of being recognized for every little thing that we do.” It only takes 22 employees to keep LBC running, and Fitterer says environmental awareness is a characteristic they all share. “We just all firmly believe in doing every little thing we can for the environment. It’s not unusual to see more bikes in our parking lot than cars.” In fact, Fitterer says trying to find out whether applicants have green tendencies is part of their

hiring process. “We’ll have certain questions in our interview process to try and determine if someone is as environmentally conscious as the rest of [the employees]. And you can usually pretty much tell just on a conversational basis.” LBC produces seven signature beers, as well as a number of seasonals throughout the year. Fitterer explains they use all natural ingredients: no additives, preservatives or adjuncts. Their brews only consist of water, malted barley, hops and yeast. Earlier this year, however, LBC did a chocolate porter with “beyond fair trade” cocoa nibs imported from Ghana, Africa. “I thought fair trade was as high as you can get,” says Fitterer. “We will go where we need to go to find the all-natural ingredient.” This week marks the launch of an imperial red ale, Siren. Imperial ales are known for their higher alcohol content, usually about 7.5 per cent, but Fitterer says theirs will run at 8 per cent. It joins the Tasman Ale, which came out a couple of months ago, as LBC’s most recent seasonals. “There’s a lot more coming in the new year,” promises Fitterer. “I have a few things up my sleeve, but we do keep that sort of thing quiet until we are ready.”

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DECEMBER 6 – 13 EVENTS CALENDAR

RVACAPINTA VIA FLICKR If you learn to make your own knickers at a workshop on Dec. 8, you might just want to flaunt them.

ART TUESDAY, DEC. 4 – SUNDAY, DEC. 9 ART FOR AN OIL-FREE COAST Fifty local artists, including Robert Bateman, Roy Henry Vickers and Alison Watt, are taking on the Enbridge pipeline in their own special way — with works of visual art. Over the summer, these artists captured images of the B.C. coast through painting and sculpture. The results of the project will be on display at this art show to let us know what we might lose if the pipeline and oil tankers show up on our coast. If it were up to me, I’d use a different tactic — I’d paint works of art on the actual oil company executives. They’d find me so annoying they’d give up on fossil fuels and invest in fusion energy instead. Flying DeLoreans, here we come! For more info, visit raincoast.org Victoria Conference Centre (720 Douglas St.). 10 a.m. – 9 p.m. (Sunday, Dec. 9, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.). Free. SUNDAY, DEC. 9 IT IS I, PATRICIA: AN ARTIST’S CHILDHOOD (BOOK SIGNING WITH PAT MARTIN BATES) Pat Martin Bates is one of Canada’s most highly acclaimed printmakers and a pioneer in the field of printmaking. One such pioneering printmaking method was with backlit, pierced prints. Hmm, makes me think of Lite-Brite. Ever seen one of those? They’re awesome. If her works are as awesome as Lite-Brite, then maybe I ought to check out her book signing . . . and maybe you should, too! For more info, call (250) 920-4037 Full Circle Studio Arts (1800 Store St.). 2–4 p.m. Free.

CRAFTS THURSDAY, DEC. 6 CHRISTMAS MAKERS MARKET The iPad mini. The Wii U. Double-bladed Sith lightsabers. Big-box stores full of high-priced techno-gifts got you feeling down? Try finding some holiday shopping alternatives at this marketplace featuring gifts created by local artisans. Featured wares include pottery, jewellery and other handmade items. Maybe they’ll have something really cool, like a human-powered helicopter made out of hemp fibre. You’ll never know unless you go, right? For more info, visit aggv.ca/calendar Art Gallery of Greater Victoria (1040 Moss St.). 5–9 p.m. Admission by donation. SATURDAY, DEC. 8 MAKE YOUR OWN KNICKERS Want to know how to make your own panties, or “knickers” as they’re called in the U.K. (or by Canadians in a cheeky mood)? Check out this workshop, which will take you through the whole process from choice of material to construction. Sewing noobs should stay away, however; this workshop is for those with some sewing experience. You’ll be able to make heavy-duty panties for yourself and some slightly awkward Christmas gifts for others. For more info, email jenny@themakehouse.ca The Makehouse (833 1/2 Fort St.).
2–5 p.m. $45 (includes cost of materials).

SATURDAY, DEC. 8 (AND SUBSEQUENT SATURDAYS UNTIL DEC. 22) WOODWYNN FARMS CHRISTMAS MARKET Woodwynn Farms, which provides support and community for the homeless, will be hosting a farmers’ market each Saturday until Christmas. Proceeds will go towards the programs offered by the farm. Products from companies such as Ten Thousand Villages and Level Ground coffee will also be available. If you have to bus, it’s quite a trip to get out there, I know — but it’s totally worth it. If you can get a ride with someone, it’s way less of a hassle. If you can teleport there, it’s no hassle at all, and if that’s the case, I hope you’re using your powers for good. Helping this organization out is a good start. With great power comes great responsibility. For more info, visit woodwynnfarms.org Woodwynn Farms (7789 West Saanich Rd.). 10 a.m. – 3 p.m. Free.

CULTURE THURSDAY, DEC. 13 PACIFIC PEOPLES’ PARTNERSHIP ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING What do the indigenous people of B.C., Hawaii, New Zealand and Papua New Guinea have in common? The Pacific Ocean, you silly goose. You know, that big honkin’ blue thing on Google Earth. The Pacific Peoples’ Partnership is a Canadian NGO that works with developing island nations in the South Pacific on issues such as sustainable development and social justice. This will be a good event to attend if you’re interested in indigenous issues, and there’ll be no shortage of art, culture or music on display. Just try to ignore the dark, chilly December evening as you step outside; what a shock to the system that will be after hearing people talk about the South Pacific all night! For more info, visit: pacificpeoplespartnership.org Alcheringa Gallery (665 Fort St.). 5:30 p.m. Free.

RECREATION SUNDAY, DEC. 9 AND WEDNESDAY, DEC. 12 (AND SUBSEQUENT WEDNESDAYS AND SUNDAYS) SWAN LAKE CHRISTMAS HILL NATURE SANCTUARY GUIDED BIRD WALKS Do you like birdwatching? I do. I like all sorts of birds, even the oft-maligned Canada Goose. Yes, Canada geese poop and hiss a lot, but they’re not that bad. Just stay away from them when they have babies and you’ll be fine. If you’re already a goose fan, then you ought to check out this guided bird walk and share your goose fandom with other goose fans. It’s like a comic-con but for geese (as well as other birds). Be sure to bring your binoculars and maybe some good-quality boots. Depending on where you walk, make sure to check for goose poop on the bottom of your boots after you leave. For more info, email info@swanlake.bc.ca Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary (3873 Swan Lake Rd.). 9 a.m. Admission by donation. > ALAN PIFFER

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16 CULTURE • MARTLET November 29, 2012


From left to right: Ovidiu Ratiu, Elise Polkinghorne, Jayce Voyer and Daine Vygantaite rehearse a play that they will be putting on entirely in German on Dec. 4 and 5.

TAYLOR ANTONIAZZI

The sound of Bertolt Brecht’s theatre UVic students perform Der Jasager, Der Neinsager in German which they must support the boy, who has become too exhausted to walk. After the students have nervously recited their lines, co-director Mair hands part of the rope to each of them and begins circling the students until she is satisfied that they have been sufficiently squeezed together. Mair walks to the far end of the classroom still holding her end of the rope. “Okay, now I’m going to try to pull you back,” she says, tugging the rope to demonstrate the strength of her pull. “I want you to fight against me while you read your lines.” What results is a cacophony of shouting and laughter — everything except a coherent delivery of the lines. “Much better!” Mair beams proudly at her actors despite their jumbled German. “From now on, when you read those lines, I want to hear that struggle in your voice!” The students try again without the rope, and this time they are undoubtedly more relaxed and

FoR THe WeeK oF noVeMBeR 27TH, 2012

For the second year in a row, UVic students are putting on a play entirely in German. The performers are Germanic Studies and Theatre students taking part in Performing German Drama, an experiential, student-driven course offered by the Germanic Studies Department. After months of practicing choreography and perfecting lines, the students will be able to showcase their hard work in a production of one of Bertolt Brecht’s Lehrstücke, translated as “learning plays.” The class will be performing the plays Der Jasager and Der Neinsager, or, The Yay Sayer and The Nay Sayer. Der Jasager and Der Neinsager both begin with a young boy, his teacher and three students setting out on a journey to save their village from a terrible epidemic. When the boy becomes sick,

the teacher informs him of a long-held custom that demands that the boy be asked to consent to his death if he cannot continue the journey. Reminiscent of the style of choose-your-ownadventure books, each drama unfolds according to the boy’s decision of how to respond to the custom. Brecht’s Lehrstücke were designed specifically for a concept of theatre as workshop, and their goal was to engage both the actors and the audience in a critical debate about the staging of the play, and in that process, to question the very society in which they live as well as to realize that tradition can, and should, be questioned. “I want to try something,” says Theatre student and co-director Rain Mair as she untangles a 15-foot rope that will serve as the primary prop unifying the complementary plays. In a classroom that has been transformed into a stage, three students are rehearsing a scene in

CFUV Top Ten

> TAYLOR ANTONIAZZI AND ELISE POLKINGHORNE

confident — not to mention a little out of breath. The students in Elena Pnevmonidou’s Performing German Drama class have embraced Brecht’s concept of the Lehrstücke and its emphasis on the process of rehearsal and learning through trial and error, collaborative workshop and critical engagement, as opposed to traditional theatre’s emphasis on a perfectly polished final product. Taylor Antoniazzi and Elise Polkinghorne are both involved in the GMST 488: Performing German Drama production of Brecht's plays.

DER JASAGER AND DER NEINSAGER Dec. 4 and 5 @ 8 p.m. Merlin’s Sun Home Theatre (1983 Fairfield Rd.) Tickets: minimum donation of $5 Available on campus in the foyer of the Germanic Studies Department (second floor of the Clearihue Building).

1. SLAM DUNK + Welcome To Miami (File Under: Music) 2. JULIE DOIRON * So Many Days (Aporia) 3. TY SEGALL Twins (Drag City) 4. ERIN COSTELO * We Can Get Over (Self-Released) 5. NEIL YOUNG & CRAZY HORSE * Psychedelic Pill (Reprise) 6. DAPHNI * Jiaolong (Merge) 7. TEEN DAZE * Inner Mansions (Lefse) 8. MAC DEMARCO * Mac DeMarco 2 (Captured Tracks) 9. DEAD PREZ Information Age (Krian) 10. ANNIE LOU * Grandma’s Rules For Drinking (Self-Released)

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November 29, 2012 MARTLET • CULTURE 17


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Author’s hindsight is 20/20 when it comes to immigration

Saving Earth's bounty through a bufffet

> CHARLES WAGNER

> KAITLYN ROSENBURG

When I first picked up The Myth of the Muslim Tide: Do Immigrants Threaten the West?, I couldn’t help but sigh. I thought, “Great — here’s yet another paranoid Western semiconspiracy theory on the evil beast of the East.” That cold first impression, however, changed rapidly once I saw the title of the first chapter: “Popular Fiction.” The question asked in the book’s subtitle is not a rhetorical one. Author Doug Saunders is out to find definitive answers. He tests every claim in the anti-Islam arsenal (such as the argument that birth rates among Muslims are so high that they will become a majority of the population in the near future, or that Muslim immigrants are not loyal to their host countries but instead to their religion) to see if they hold any truth. Saunders opens with a scene from a London neighbourhood. Women covered in black, signs in Arabic on shop windows. A bit sketchy, right? Not at all, according to Saunders. And that’s the second — and most crucial — argument he makes in the book. That we’ve all been here before; we’ve seen the newcomer and thought the worst of this cultural unknown. Saunders’ greatest asset is his ability to keep an emotional distance from this volatile subject matter. Just as I didn’t want his book to be an anti-Islam tirade, I didn’t want it to turn into apologetic Islamic propaganda either. While he debunks most of the anti-Islam claims, he does admit that there are some situations that call for worry, such as the creeping threat of Sharia law, a legal code based on the Koran. He provides an example from Britain’s controversial Sharia tribunals, which many have argued give official recognition to discriminatory practices such as the Islamic divorce, where the husband can simply renounce his wife. That being said, the voices behind the claims that Saunders chooses to highlight are at times too extreme. He quotes Oriana Fallaci, an Italian journalist known for her controversial views

on Islam, as saying, “The sons of Allah . . . they multiply like rats.” Brash and provocative quotes like this do not merit a response. They take away from the author’s well-thought-out argument. While the statistics and survey data collected from the Muslim population in Western countries that Saunders uses to challenge these claims bring up fascinating insights (such as radical Islamic believers and radical Islamist terrorists being two entirely different groups), the main strength in Saunders’ book is his presentation of the parallels to the past. He reminds the reader of how it was once the Roman Catholics, emigrating from Europe to the U.S. in the middle of the 20th century, who were painted the same way as their Muslim contemporaries. Their religion was portrayed as an alien ideology that would keep them isolated and threaten the fabric of the country — up until the election of America’s first Catholic president, John F. Kennedy. With the help of hindsight and knowledge of how the immigration situation was handled in the past, Saunders offers some solutions for how this wave of Muslim immigrants can be helped along in the move to their new countries. It does seem, however, that Saunders put less effort into discovering solutions than he did into defining the problem, as most of the solutions read like vague diagnoses, such as governments’ responsibility to integrate immigrants or the issues involved in multiculturalism. It’s true that we tend to exaggerate an issue when it’s right in front of us. In the case of the wave of Muslim immigration, we should listen to Saunders when he says, “We’ve been here before.”

THE MYTH OF THE MUSLIM TIDE: DO IMMIGRANTS THREATEN THE WEST? Doug Saunders Alfred A. Knopf Publishing Canada 2012

Psst . . . I know how we can all combat climate change. The solution is simple: eat less meat. The United Nations reports that currently, livestock raised for food consumption take up 30 per cent of the earth’s land surface. In 2009, the water usage for those animals topped out at 235 trillion gallons. In comparison, soy production only used five trillion gallons. And let’s not forget the other perks of going vegetarian: it’s more humane, and it’s a super trendy celebrity diet. Green Cuisine in Market Square is the ideal place to start your transition to a meatless diet. The menu offers dishes from around the world and changes daily. There’s also a salad bar, fresh baking, sushi and a sizeable dessert selection. Did I mention it’s a buffet? There’s no excuse for not trying something new. Meals are calculated by weight ($1.99 for 100 grams), so while trying absolutely everything is an option, keep in mind a serving of potato salad weighs much more than a handful of salad. Bowls of soup ($2.50) or a bowl of homemade fries ($1.90) are also available. Students receive a 10 per cent discount. The night I visited, the menu featured a chickpea-and-roasted-pepper bisque soup. Sweetened slightly from the addition of yams, the smooth soup held a delicate curry flavour. Go for a bowl if available. I filled my plate with morsels of lentil patties, baked samosas, shepherdess pie, tofu paneer and tempeh. The lentil patty rivaled any veggie burger I’ve had in town. Packed with red lentils, quinoa and millet, it is a filling option. For those who desperately cling to the taste and texture of meat, the shepherdess pie is for you. Ground round substitutes for ground beef, a near dead ringer once combined with lentils, onion, mushrooms and carrot. The tempeh may not be for everyone. Originating in Indonesia, tempeh is a soy-based product, usually fermented into a cake form — a much denser option than tofu. Even a few

small cubes, like the portion I tried, are supremely filling and can taste like bland oatmeal if unseasoned. The sauce accompanying Green Cuisine’s tempeh was extremely pungent the day I went, a combination of soy sauce and cider vinegar; I left a fair amount untouched. Tread lightly with this choice. I’d suggest the garlic rice topped with the tofu paneer. The rice tastes of delicate roasted garlic, and the paneer presents a familiar Indianinspired flavour. I find tofu an excellent vehicle for dishes like this because it becomes a sponge, soaking up whatever sauce it is immersed in. If the salad bar calls your name, try the pesto dressing. Made with cashews, lemon, garlic and, of course, basil, it’s the best creamy dressing I’ve tasted in a long time, while containing zero dairy. Green Cuisine not only serves purely vegetarian offerings, but also strives to offer plenty of gluten-, wheat- and dairy-free options. It’s an allergy sufferer’s paradise, as a detailed ingredient list accompanies each dish. Also, the menu is updated daily on greencuisine.com. Step out of your comfort zone. Forgoing meat for one meal isn’t the end of the world — in fact, it might actually save it.

RRRR GREEN CUISINE #5-560 JOHNSON STREET, MARKET SQUARE MONDAY – SUNDAY: 10 A.M. – 8 P.M. EAT-IN AND TAKE-OUT

November 29, 2012 MARTLET • CULTURE 19


KAYLEEMOORE VIA FLICKR CREATIVE COMMONS

When does chivalry cross the line? > AMANDA JESS — THE AQUINIAN (ST. THOMAS UNIVERSITY) FREDERICTON (CUP) — During an interview with Jay-Z for the New York Times Magazine, writer Zadie Smith didn’t have to pick her meal. “He likes to order for people. Apparently I look like the fish-sandwich type,” Smith wrote in her profile of the acclaimed rapper and producer. Smith’s comment sparked an interest on the Internet from a few writers who questioned whether or not Jay-Z’s choice to order for his interviewer was acceptable. Pop culture aficionados are asking if there is a place for chivalry in today’s world, now long past medieval days and knighthood. And, if there is a place for it, can a gentleman take it too far? The dictionary.com definition for chivalry reads “the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor and dexterity in arms.” From that definition alone, chivalry sounds outdated, especially considering the lack of knights and duelling on the streets.

Andrew Titus, an English professor at St. Thomas University (STU), offers a more modern definition. “If you take the essence of chivalry out, then chivalry and common courtesy are the same thing. But I’d like to leave that part of romanticism on top of it. I’d like to leave that part in without it being insulting.” Titus says he has practised his own version of chivalry with his wife of 16 years. He says they share chores as a way to show respect toward one another. However, the courtesy doesn’t end outside his marriage. “If you’ve ever seen me open a door on campus, the first thing I do is look over my shoulder to see if anyone is behind me. It doesn’t make a difference if that person is a man or a woman.” His opinion of the concept depends on the context in which it’s used. He uses examples of placing a handkerchief over a mud puddle or making a point of opening a door for a woman as outdated. “When you take all that stuff out and replace

20 CULTURE • MARTLET November 29, 2012

it with the central idea behind chivalry, which is that men should respect women in a loving and caring kind of way that supports our physicality or whatever, then I think it does have a place.” Titus suggests an upgrade to the concept could be for it to go both ways. “I think there’s something to be said about women being chivalrous. Like I said, I like flowers. I certainly never turn it down when a woman opens the door for me. I think a lot can be said for that kind of thing if relationships become more equal and awesome as a result.” Leah St. John, a fourth-year female STU student, has a similar view. “I feel like you show it back as well — just be polite.” St. John has been dating since she was about 15 years old. In this time, she’s established what kind of behaviour she expects from a partner. “I know in respect to myself, I like to be dated. If they show up, they open the car door, at least in the beginning — if I don’t see that, then I’m not sure if I’m wasting my time or not. It’s just a respect thing.”

St. John says her values come from her family, her father in particular. “I’m definitely a daddy’s girl. He just did so much for my mom, and so much for us.” For St. John, chivalry has a lot to do with how a date treats her family. “If you can’t respect my dad, you’re gone.” She says it’s too far once it becomes controlling, but believes it depends on the woman’s preferences. She says communication is necessary to establish this. St. John says chivalry reveals aspects of a man’s personality. “I like that it shows they have manners and they’re courteous. It also shows that they were brought up well because they know to do such things. And I like that they put in the extra effort because it makes you feel cared for.” St. John says some aspects of chivalry, such as giving flowers, don’t always need to be there, but when a man takes that extra step, she appreciates it — just like her male counterparts do.


KAYLOVESVINTAGE VIA FLICKR CREATIVE COMMONS

Holiday parties: who to invite and how to do it > ROBIN MCCOURT — THE AQUINIAN (ST. THOMAS UNIVERSITY) FREDERICTION (CUP) — It’s that time of year again. People are starting to have parties, gettogethers, dinners and glittering evenings of fun. If you’re like me, you’ll be navigating to the nearest soirée through heaps of homework and rivers of reading. But don’t fret! You can make it through the end of the semester (and fit in an event or two) without an all-systems meltdown. What if you’re the one throwing the party? Give your invitees due notice. The amount of notice you should give depends on the level of pomp you’re planning to unleash. For a carefully planned-out party, such as a big Christmas dinner or a New Year’s Eve party, hosts should give their guests up to a month of notice. For casual dinners with close friends, a week is usually long enough. Once you’ve decided on your invitees, try to issue the invitation in the same way to each person. So, if you’re planning on calling or texting

your friends, do so for everyone. If you’re giving out paper invitations, make sure everyone gets one. If you were to give paper invitations to most of your guests, and then email only a couple others, those who got the email could potentially feel like an afterthought, which is not the way you want your invitees to feel. When it comes to the information given with the invitation, you should include the name of the host and the type of occasion, as well as when and where your guests should show up. As host, you can add additional information to the invitations. You can ask your guests to RSVP or send regrets only, or you can add dressing instructions. If you receive an invitation that says, “regrets only,” you only need to contact the host if you are unable to attend. If your invitation says RSVP, your host wants to hear whether you’re planning to attend or not. If you are issuing an RSVP or regrets only invitation, make sure you include the contact information for where the guests should direct their reply. Dressing instructions tell the guest how

everyone will be attired. You might see “business casual,” “dressy casual,” “festive attire,” “black-tie” or, if you’re really fancy, “white tie.” A quick Google search will give you an indication of what sorts of outfit choices correspond to each phrase. ACTING AS ATTENDEE When you get an invitation, you are obligated to reply to the host promptly. If you are unsure if you will be able to attend, let the host know this right away, and if you have an idea of when you will find out, convey that information, too. It can be costly for a host to prepare for your company only to find out that you won’t be coming. There’s no fun in ruining your friends’ precious free time. Always thank your host for inviting you. Even if you can’t attend, getting an invitation shows that you are important to that person and that they want to spend time with you. If you can, reciprocate the invitation. Reciprocating the invite doesn’t mean you need to have them

over for the same type of event, but that you get to see them socially at some point when you’re hosting. PARTY POLITENESS Getting an invitation is not a green light for you to take it upon yourself to spread the word. Bringing an uninvited guest to a party is definitely not going to gain you any etiquette points. Ditto for small group events. Recently, a friend of mine was organizing a night out with some close friends. It got kind of awkward when one guest invited another girl without checking with the hostess first. The hostess didn’t want to be rude to the new invitee, but also didn’t really know what was going on. You shouldn’t invite people in a way that leaves others out (imagine asking everyone you’re having lunch with, except for one person). And never talk at length about an event around someone who wasn’t invited.

November 29, 2012 MARTLET • CULTURE 21


HUMOuR

Turn your "ho, ho, ho" into a "ha, ha, ha." Write for Humour for the Dec. 13 issue, our last issue of the year. Email martlet.humour.feature@gmail.com.

Bequeathing the last Twinkie on Earth A final will and testament written in the year 2050 > GEOFFREY LINE Dearest family, If you are shocked at the estate I have bequeathed to you, take consolation in knowing I am, too. I am sorry that my business ventures have not proven as profitable as I desired. Evidently I was not the visionary my father hoped I would be. I dabbled in the unfamiliar when I should have stuck with markets that were consistent and bankable. I do not know what I was thinking when I chose to invest in Betamax and LaserDisc technologies. I do not know why I believed my financial advisor when she told me that there was money to be made in such World Wide Web projects as Napster. I do know that these decisions were poor. I do not have as much to pass on to you as I had hoped. I have neither riches nor obscure heirlooms to leave behind. (I sold Great Uncle Jeremy VII’s ivory dentures so that you may have the necessary funds to entomb me in a coffin of respectable quality.) I do not pass on to you money to invest in your children’s educations. I do not even leave a fund with which you may travel to the tropics, and for that I am sorry. I leave you no riches at all, in fact — not a single dollar. But to you, my dearest heirs, I give this, a token by which to remember me, a tribute to my memory, a golden treasure I have preserved for you to savour: the last Twinkie on Earth. I, too, was shocked to hear of Twinkies’ nearextinction in the year 2012. And so I bought the last pack from my local supermarket as soon as I could. Upon the dissolution of Hostess, the company that manufactures Twinkies, I understood one thing clearly: this golden pastry — this puffy, delectable thing with a white, cool and gooey core — would outlast me. The Twinkie the executor of my will now holds is my sole legacy.

RYAN HAAK

I imagine that, like the book full of baseball cards my grandfather left me before his heart attack upon seeing the telecasting of the Berlin Wall falling in 1989, the last Twinkie on Earth is of incomprehensible value. (In truth, I do not know how much my grandfather’s collection of baseball cards is valued at. One owner of a pawnshop told me I could exchange it for a George Foreman grill.) And like my grandfather’s gift, the Twinkie is an artifact of simpler times. The Twinkie is a relic of days when North Americans were not plagued by paranoia of arterial clogging, obesity and brittle joints, of load-bearing patellae and malnourished muscle.

I have heard these called the golden days; how appropriate that they are embodied in this golden dessert. Please do not squabble. I understand you are enraptured by the contents of my will, but be civil. This Twinkie has survived decades — perhaps even half a century by the time you read this. Its shelf life is indefinite. It will likely outlast the cellophane in which it is wrapped. You need not put it to use at once. Though there is but one Twinkie and many of you, I advise you take your time in devising what to do with the embalmed pastry. To be democratic, you may want to cut it in pieces,

like a bit of cheese or pâté to be spread over a cracker. (I am so sorry I did not leave you an estate with which to buy pâté!) I would recommend you sell it to a collector of antiques and such fine things. Who knows how much it will be worth. When I bought the last Twinkie on Earth, it was a buy-and-hold. If you find yourselves unable to preserve it for the generations that will succeed you, if you choose to eat it, I recommend you do so in seclusion. I recommend you relish the pastry as it dissolves in your mouth, for it shall never happen again.

Recycling hurts planet, job prospects > NICHOLAS BURTON-VULOVIC

KLARA WOLDENGA

22 HUMOUR • MARTLET November 29, 2012

Many of you already know I’m not a B.C. native. I hail from Ontario, often referred to as the Best Province, the Centre of Canada, the Canadian Heartland or my favourite, The O-Dot. I was more than surprised when, upon arriving in the second most beautiful place on earth, I found a land of so much excess combined with such significant morality. I’m talking about B.C.’s fixation on recycling. It befuddles me. Back in the O-Dot, we recycled, too — when we weren’t too busy managing the nation’s industrial and financial sectors. So when I finish a bottle of sweet Niagara wine or a delicious can of Ontarian craft-brewed brewski, I really can’t be blamed for dumping it in my apartment’s special garbage can: the yard that’s 15 storeys below me. That’s right: I throw it off my balcony. It’s nature’s problem now. And yes, I hear what you’re saying, and no, I don’t really care about the consequences, because I’m not convinced that there are any. For decades, we’ve been sold a false bill of sale that extols the virtues of recycling while telling tales of woe for all those who dare buck the trend. And yet, I remain skeptical. Did you know that many landfills are actually shrinking? And this isn’t just in Third-World

countries where increasingly scarce resources have fueled a surge of scavenging scamps. No, this is happening in America, too. The steel industry reclaims millions of tons of scrap metal per year. Guess where a lot of it comes from? Estimates from 2008 put the amount of steel in American landfills at over 400 million metric tons. I feel good when I put my Coke Zero can in the garbage. Not only am I maintaining my svelte figure without sacrificing that great Coke taste, but I’m also helping to plant the seeds for what in time could be a bumper crop of crumpled aluminum. And, of course, all that garbage has to be fished out of landfills somehow, and you know what that means: jobs. That makes me both an environmental crusader and a job creator. I’m like a coldweather Mitt Romney. I’m not saying we should get rid of recycling programs entirely. They’re probably useful tools for collecting certain things. I feel more comfortable knowing that the paper I chew and spit at classmates has been chewed and spat by generations of students before me. But we need to stop treating recycling as some kind of glorious emancipation from waste. It isn’t. And even more importantly, people need to stop yelling at me for putting my 7Up bottles in the garbage can. That’s really the main point here.


HOROSCOPES FOR VERY SPECIFIC GROUPS OF PEOPLE

Astrology for people who need to figure it out This is my last horoscope everybody, so pay attention > ALAIN WILLIAMS ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19) Love is on the horizon! If you are single, you may meet someone new. If you are currently with someone, you will be presented with an opportunity to advance your relationship to a new level. Either way, you need to figure it out, homie! Get in there and take that down. TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20) Secrets that you have kept for a long time may become a burden for you. This week, you will have the chance to let it all out. And I advise you to do that, because you don’t need any emotional wreckage sitting on your heart lawn like an abandoned pickup truck, kid. What does that mean? Put it all on blast. Figure it out. GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20)

KLARA WOLDENGA

Certain elements of your life may become overwhelming for you this week. Figure it out, G! Take a step back, breathe and reassess your situation. If you don’t like it, bounce. How hard is that? Huh? Figure it out. CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22)

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No matter how insignificant, your talents will come in handy in the near future. So use what you got! Go ahead and show ’em what you’re workin’ with! Shake what your momma gave ya! Figure it out. LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22) A boon to your finances is coming shortly. Feel free to treat yourself in ways you normally wouldn’t this week, especially if you’re out in public, knaw’mean? Go ’head and make it rain on the masses! Stay flossin’, homie; figure it out. VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)

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You will be given some good advice this week. Heed it, but be sure you understand it first, as it may be vague. Just sit down and figure it out, and you’ll be fine. Seriously. LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)

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A long line of personal challenges, both small and grand, is coming your way. The best way to figure it all out is to . . . figure it out! Low

on your finances? There’s mad money in illegal firearms and other branches of the black market. Figure it out. Allergic to your partner’s cat? Sometimes animals have to die. They’ll understand. Figure it out. SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21) The stars are soon shifting into a new phase, and good times may be coming to an end. The transition can be hard to deal with. All you gotta do is channel those positive vibes from before and keep the good times coming, even when it ain’t all that good, word? Focus your chi, homie. Figure it out. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 – DEC. 21) Don’t be afraid to be direct this week, even if it’s out of character for you. Staying reserved may result in missed opportunities. Let them suckas know how you roll. If they don’t like it, that means they haven’t figured it out yet. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 – JAN.19) A friend or loved one may start acting strangely this week. Do not go with your first instinct this time. Instead, when they start trippin’, stand back and check their game out. Don’t react. When their behaviour shifts into confusion, patiently say to them: “Figure your whole damn life out, fam! Figure out all of it.” AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18) Now is the time to go for an ambition that you have longed to pursue. Figure it out by taking up chess! Figure it out by learning the drums! Figure it out by learning how to make crystal methamphetamines out of common household products. Just be sure to buy said products from different stores and pay in cash to diminish the paper trail. Hmm. That’s the second illegal thing I’ve suggested today. Whatever, figure it out. PISCES (FEB. 19 – MARCH 20) Why are you crying, Pisces? Oh, I see. You’re sad because I’m leaving. Hey, chin up, buddy! I might come back for the holidays! I just gotta go figure some stuff out. And I’m sure you’ll figure something out, too! Now go take a shower. You smell like fish.

feeling creative? Share it with the world. Send us your comics. E-mail proco@martlet.ca for more info November 29, 2012 MARTLET • HUMOUR 23


NORTH-EAST LYNX BY PATRICK MURRY & MIKE PAROLINI

ROBOT COMICS BY KLARA WOLDENGA

GOOD CHEERS BY AMY FRUEH

martlet.ca A nice break from all those pesky baby photos on your Facebook timeline. Plus: tons of awesome web-exclusive content that will blow your mind!

a horse walks into a bar... and tells you to write for our Humour section. Clearly we're not the funny ones. Email martlet.humour.feature@gmail.com for more info.

24 HUMOUR • MARTLET November 29, 2012


November 29 2012