VOLUME 6 3
VICTORIA COLLEGE, VICTORIA, B.C., MARCH 3 1,
By Leigh Kennedy
The above picture features two model citizens appalled by the recent increase in young hoodlums with a hincty attitude about what’s “in the groove” on campus — Photo by Griselda Longbottom.
By B e n t l y Wad s w orth “There’s no crying in hockey,” said coach Aldus Bryant. “So there are no girls. Won’t be none while I’m here.” Those were the words that Victoria College Hockey Club’s coach Bryant said to Enid White when she showed up for the club’s tryouts last week. Ms. White is a figure skater whom Bryant reckons has forgotten her place. “She shows up in figure skates, no stick, no pads. And that’s not the half of it. A lady playing hockey? ‘You’re joshin’ me,’ I said,” Bryant remarked. Bryant, his team and their fans worry what the presence of a dame in an athletic competition would mean. There is worry that she may be hurt, perhaps beyond marry-ability. There is also worry that she will distract the male athletes. “Could you imagine showering after practice with a lady? Surely her participation would lead to all manner of immoral locker room acts. If I had my druthers, it’d be all boys in the locker room,” said goaltender Jimmy “Spats” Walker. “She should stick to figure skating. She’s much too pretty for hockey.” Bryant agrees, but his concerns
differ from Walker’s. “You ever try and tell a woman how to do something? Especially something so unnatural to her as playing a stick and puck sport? I’d sooner tell my Ethel how to cook a roast,” the coach said. “Ms. White is a very pretty young lady, but I want no part of a lass who thinks she can play with the men,” said defenceman Patrick “Seamus” O’Shaugnessy. The College’s Athletic Director, Bill Wanstedt, pointed out that a ladies league wouldn’t be out of the question. The women would have to be responsible for organizing a number of teams before he would consider it, however. “I will not be doing it for them, but if they want to play, they certainly will be playing separately,” said Wanstedt. Coach Bryant seems unconcerned that Ms. White’s effort could invigorate other local ladies to take up sport, despite Wanstedt’s comments. “In 50 years, hockey will still be a men’s game. If in 50 years I wake up and ladies are playing hockey, well, I’ll change my name to Mud,” he said. “And if Mr. Wanstedt wants a women’s league, he’ll have to find himself a new men’s coach.”
By Badger Northwood Disputes over proper glove colours for elevator operators have brought service in select downtown buildings to a halt. Operators’ requests for the allowance of off-white as a permissible glove colour have been ignored and ridiculed by the building owners. No progress has been made as both sides refuse to give any ground. The now two week-long dispute threatens to have no end in sight. The disruption has crippled businesses and is destroying the families of those stranded by lack of service. In the only statement issued by the operators thus far, they have made their position and views clear. “These fat-cat owners must agree to our demands or risk losing our [elevator operator’s] services. The public is neither trained nor prepared to deal with the high stress that comes with elevator operation.” The stand-off continues as the operators and owners are both unwilling to move from their positions. Shortages of cigarettes, scotch and other necessities are being reported from all of the affected buildings. Arbitration has been sought and will begin next week.
However, some are adamant that their position in the debate will not change, with or without arbitration. “An operator’s gloves should be a pure white. An off-white does not communicate the clean and efficient look and service we demand from our operators,” said building owner and elevator manager Howard Starr. It appears that the only group in support of the off-white gloves are the operators themselves. The dramatic lack of public support for the operators has been a product of their refusal to run any elevator until their demands are met. The strong-arm tactic has left hundreds of individuals stranded. “Off-white is not an acceptable colour for an operators’ gloves. Even if they were to return to work, I would not get into the elevator if the operator was wearing off-white gloves,” said Alex Bastion. Bastion, who has been stranded on the second floor since the elevators stopped moving two weeks ago has become the spokesperson for the stranded. Bastion says “ . . . [his building] is under control and no hint of insurrection will be tolerated under his rule.”
Victoria College’s administration is developing policy in reaction to several distinctly slovenly youths who have recently been spotted wreaking terror on campus. “It’s difficult to say precisely what these hooligans have been up to, but it’s most certainly no good,” said Tim Grumpston, vice-president of students. He says they’ve been seen lounging against buildings, smoking and necking. “They must be cutting class,” Grumpston added. “It’s completely unacceptable.” Chaz Jefferson, head of security at Victoria College, says his encounters with the youths have been “alarming.” “One gent was leaning against a wall, all nonchalant, smoking a cigarette, and I told him to move along,” said Jefferson. “He says ‘Hey, daddy-o. Play it cool.’ When did these kids lose respect for their elders?” The Martlet discovered one young fellow leaning outside our office. We asked him his feelings on the creation of the new policy but found his answers unhelpfully ambiguous. “Eh, baby, you know how it is,” he said. “Rockin’, and rollin’, and all that.” Although these youths seem interested in spending time on the campus, several were overheard making disparaging remarks about it to each other. “What do people do around here for kicks, man — play checkers?” a gentleman in a leather jacket complained. “This place is square.” Grumpston says the policy will apply to Victoria College students whose conduct is unbecoming and conflicts the values of the College. He says the policy is necessary for keeping the campus a happy and secure learning environment. “We’re here to educate and groom the best and brightest young men — and women too — preparing them to be active participants in today’s society,” he said. Violations of the policy could be met with stern letters, fines or expulsion. Some have critiqued the punishments as harsh, but Grumpston disagrees. “We need to nip this issue in the butt before things get completely out of control,” he said. “This is a university, not a dance hall!”
THE MARTLET, MARCH 3 1,
You guessed it, fellows. I’m once more without that most elusive of man’s pursuits — a dame. Why, no more than a season ago, I fancied myself a real dandy, ready to parley to any freshette who caught my eye. This particularly included the honey who sat two rows in front of me in Anatomy Tilt! Economics 101. Alas, the capricious creature had other sights, and the bird flew (yak, yak) off to greener pastures without so much as a how-do-you-do to my wooing. The lesson? Son, I just don’t understand gals. No man does. Take it from a gent who’s older and wiser: keep your eyes on your books! Of course, plenty of men will say this on a Sunday, but just watch to see how many will hold to such a sober itinerary by the next Saturday night!
By Kodo Page Passions erupted at a federal election campaign stop on campus, as current Prime Minister Stanley Prescott Helfer was out-barnstormed by Eloise March, leader of the upstart Peace Party. Helfer gave a speech at Victoria College on March 26, 1951 denouncing the opposition parties for campaigning on co-operative platforms. The crowd of mostly business and economic faculty members was enthusiastic, cheering and clapping each other on the backs as Helfer said he would be “damned if [he] let our stock market and business holdings take any cues from the whims of these peaceniks.” “Canada needs stability and order and the Conservative Party is the only party that can shout our nationalism to the heavens so proudly and without shame,” he announced to boisterous cheers.
March then barged into the auditorium with an eclectic throng of students and demanded Helfer explain how a party so intent on keeping Canada virtuous could “employ criminals, wage wars and neglect its own most needy.” “Surely you must feel shame, sir?” she asked. Helfer demanded that March leave and the students disperse, but many took up positions in the aisles and watched as March challenged the prime minister to debate the issues. “Candidates have to speak with the people and, since we’re both here during an election, there really is no better time,” she said. She asked Helfer to explain why his government has not yet committed to saving Canadians and the world with concrete efforts to ban the bomb. “It’s no good for the economy to be talking about anything that
doesn’t refer to military spending,” Helfer countered, “When one suffers, so does the other, and it will be God-fearing families that suffer most from a government made of these collaborators.” However, March felt there was more at stake than the economy. “Counting your pennies while tensions erupt into conflict around a nuclear-armed world is disgraceful when your first duty to Canadians is to honestly and openly promote the public good,” argued March. “The public good does not flow from a material good one sells to far away dictators.” Some faculty members joined in with applause and Helfer was heard to have called March a “meddlesome kook” after he abruptly left the podium. Second-year biology student Audrey Fairburn says she found the experience thrilling. “Before today I never really
thought elections could be so nifty. Then I saw Ms. March tell the prime minister off for being for the selfish and the greedy and it made me feel like this is more than a popularity contest.” However, economics professor Samuel Gildenbottom expressed his frustration at the intrusion of women and young people into political deliberations. “We have serious matters to discuss here. There is no time to talk about their silly ethical issues and such. Canada needs to focus on supporting our military commitments if we want to keep our economy moving,” he said. “Students at Victoria College want their degrees to allow them to afford a nice house in the suburbs, not get them caught up in some willy-nilly quest to change the world.”
Renowned explorer, Guille Duchamp, was last seen in Victoria’s scenic Inner Harbour, harpoon in-hand, head raised high. He had returned from a long, arduous journey with his bounty — the infamous giant squid of Juan De Fuca Strait. Shortly after docking, Duchamp was met with disaster. The squid, having apparently feigned death, sprung free from its restraints and wreaked havoc on the Garden City — Duchamp heroically led the squid away from shore in a small dinghy with nothing but a harpoon over his shoulder and a cigarette in his mouth. He has not been seen since.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
University of Victoriaâ€™s Independent Newspaper
MUSICAL MELTDOWN P.10
Otesha Project cycles for sustainability 5
Local band rebels, excels with second release 12
Victoria celebrates Scots with Tartan Day 14
Need some LOLZ? OMG, Check out our comics 18
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Classes are wrapping up for the semester and so are we. Fret not, however! You have one more week of Martlet magic ahead.
UVic students to cycle 1,000 km for food awareness > MARK WORTHING
our future for us. If we can inspire young people to love the earth and love each other in the process, then A parade of vibrant cyclists have set we’ll all be better off for it. So that’s an ambitious route to pedal their what I want to do.” message of sustainability to youth “Food production will be the focus along the Sunshine Coast and Vanfor our program, which will be couver Island. super rad because it’s the Coast, it’s A group of about 12–15 cyclists, the Island, and it’s the harvest in including UVic students Emily Kay the fall,” said Kay. and Melissa Hull, will travel more Before Kay and Hull hit the road, than 1,000 kilometres, starting they will need to fundraise about in September. The trip will begin $2,250 to keep the wheels rolling. in the Fraser Valley. After doing a For every dollar donated they will loop around the Lower Mainland ride 50 metres. The funding won’t they will head north up the Sunjust go to making the distance, it shine Coast to Powel River where will go to the youth education’s they will cross the Salish Sea to skits, dances, interactive perforCourtenay, travel up to Campbell mances and community. River, and then descend to Victoria Hull, originally from Newfoundaround Oct. 26. land, is considering packing bricks “When I saw the Sunshine Coast in her panniers to train for the 70 tour, I just knew: this is my place, kilometres a day she is expecting to this is my tour,” said Kay. “One ride. The riders will also be hauling thing that struck me with this tour their own food and in particular is sleeping gear. The that this is my group meets in Vanhome. I identify couver for a week with the coast prior to their voyage and I want to to plan their skits learn more about and workshops. it, see it and “I’ve never done explore it.” any theatre, but I’m The organization totally looking forfacilitating the ward to it. I’m excited program is called about it,” said Hull. the Otesha ProjWith food producect. Founded in tion as the theme for Canada in 2002, the Sunshine Coast they have been ride, the tour is part doing youth-eduof a growing comcation rides every munity of local, susyear since then. tainable agricultural The Otesha Projfood mavericks that ect is a national are calling for food non-profit organiproduction reforms. zation that seeks – Melissa Hull “I think food proto educate and duction is so vital in empower youth our health and in our identity. And to make sustainable lifestyle deciI think those are two things that are sions and consumer choices. They kind of in crisis right now,” said Kay. have connected with over 115,000 “We don’t really have a solid Canadian youth, and are hoping to foundation or a grip on what we’re connect with 2,000 more during the doing as a culture and a society as fall’s Sunshine Coast tour. a whole. Food connects us to the “Their whole goal is to educate land, it connects us to each other youth about environmental susand to our own health and bodies.” tainability, and social justice, and There will be two other rides hapin turn to inspire them to make pening this year in Canada — the sustainable choices for the future, Phenomenal Food Tour, riding from for everybody. And for me that’s Kitchener/Waterloo to Ottawa, and the most important thing,” said the Pedal to Plate Tour that will Hull. “It really touched me because circumnavigate Ottawa. we’re counting on them to build
If we can inspire young people to love the earth and love each other in the process then we’ll all be better off .
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Emily Kay — pictured above with the love of her life, “Conrad” the bike —will be cycling along the Sunshine Coast and Vancouver Island to tell youth about the importance of sustainability.
The Martlet asks:
Do you like the proposed non-academic misconduct policy? STREETERS
“That is really dumb … some person has no right to complain about me and what I’m doing. I could go and complain about their ugly shoes. They’re so offensive and they’re so ugly that I’m filing them a misconduct thing. And the university’s supposed to be a university, not a policing organization.” Lisa Troy
“If there was a certain kind of misconduct that was … like a civil disobedience type of thing, trying to get a point across, then those people could get expelled, and I wouldn’t stand by that, but on the other hand, if someone comes onto campus and breaks the windows …” Fernando Heredia
“Well, I mean, you want them to be able to prevent crime and everything. It’s kind of a good idea, I guess. I mean if someone were going around and breaking the windows, you probably should be able to stop them. They could go overboard. It’s only as good as the people doing it I guess.” Ben Scotney
Env. Studies and Psychology, 5th Year
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UVSS Board sees new members
YPY EVENT draws peaceful protest
> Kailey Willetts The UVic Students’ Society (UVSS) current and future Board of Directors saw some changes this past week. A recount changed the composition of the upcoming 2011-2012 Board of Directors, while two new advocacy representatives took seats at the March 28 meeting.
About 50 people gathered outside the Student Union Building (SUB) on March 28 for “Silent No More,” an event hosted by pro-life group Youth Protecting Youth (YPY). The event featured three women talking about how their abortions had negative effects on their lives. “It’s a strong message that they bring because it’s their personal testimonies,” said YPY President Anastasia Pearse. “People need to understand that there are women who do regret their abortions, who wish that they had more support, that they had more knowledge, that they knew where to get resources. So I think having them share their stories is a wonderful way to show our side of the abortion issue.” Not everyone at the debate came to hear that message, however. Many attendees peacefully passed out pro-choice literature to passers-by or held up pro-choice signage. Some, like UVic Students’ Society (UVSS) Director-at-Large Tara Paterson, took offense to the event. Paterson said she felt it was an “example of the capitalization of and comodification of personal experiences for the exploitation of political gain.” Josey Ross, a member of Students for Reproductive Justice, also said she was troubled by the event. “I’m really sad that there were a lot of instances of what sounded like coerced abortion here, where women felt they didn’t have the support or the choice to do what they felt was right. And that is, in fact, not a pro-choice position,” she said. “In fact, what we are trying to do is create a world where women can make a free choice.”
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Former UVic Pride representative Gabrielle Sutherland took 10th place in the director-atlarge race after a recount.
there would be no errors and there would be a lot less stress.” Sutherland, who has sat on the Board for the past two years as the representative for UVic Pride, is happy to now sit on the board in a director-at-large capacity. “When the final word came that I’d won, and not only won but 10th, it was so cool. I was over the moon. I was stunned, actually. I still don’t really believe it,” she said. “I’m really happy because it means I can try and work with [director of Finance and Operations elect] Dylan Sherlock and get my emergency financial aid system off the road.”
New advocacy reps Replacing Sutherland as the representative for UVic Pride is Lincoln Welsh, who took his seat on the board March 28. Welsh was elected at Pride’s Semi-Annual General Meeting, and officially joined the Board of Directors through the passing of a ceremonial rainbow baton by Sutherland. The newly formed Society for Students with Disabilities also elected a representative to the board. This is the first time students with disabilities have had a constituency representative since the board severed ties with Access UVic in August. New representative Joseph Methot was elected at the Annual General Meeting for the newly formed society on March 25.
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Director-at-Large Gabrielle Sutherland — who finished 12th after the initial director-at-large count, just outside of making it onto the Board — discovered she was actually elected. “After the counting of voucher ballots all it really did was narrow the gap that I lost by,” she said. “Because I lost by nine ballots I automatically requested a recount. I had no real expectation that anything would change. I kind of just asked because I could. It was quite surprising when the results changed.” The recount put Sutherland in 10th with 902 votes — two ahead of 11th place candidate Samantha Scott. In the original ballot-counting, some votes were missed from her tally. “I think the lesson from this whole thing of miscounting ballots — or in my case they counted them but just didn’t add them to the tally sheet — I think this is an object lesson in the importance of moving away from paper ballots,” she said. “It was weird because throughout the afternoon there was conflicting words . . . so it was confusion. I didn’t know what was happening: whether I’d won, whether I’d not won. So I spent a few hours or so quite stressed.” A referendum conducted simultaneously with the election showed great student support for online elections. “I originally liked paper ballots, but this means we should definitely move away from that and go to online voting or some kind of electronic voting,” continued Sutherland. “Then there won’t be any mistakes in counting and there won’t be any of that stress in my case of losing and then winning, or in Chris Hacket’s case winning and then finding out he hadn’t won. The results would be right there and
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Media perpetuates myths: AVP > Kailey Willetts
both alienating and triggering. “I don’t think it’s useful that we often see very graphic descriptions Media reports of sexual assaults may of sexualized violence. I think that be doing more harm than good, say can be very triggering for people some sexual assault organizations. reading it, and again it paints a Groups like UVic’s Anti-Violence picture of sexualized violence as Project (AVP) say that media looking one way when of course we often buy into and further certain know that everyone’s experience is assumptions about sexualized different,” she said. violence that do not represent the “It can be quite alienating if the experiences of all survivors. only media representations you “The two biggest ones that we ever see don’t look at all like what see are that sexualized violence is you experienced.” presented as being very physically She says that what’s known as violent and being perpetrated by “victim-blaming” is a frequent dispeople that you don’t know, which course that needs to be challenged. does happen but it’s a very, very “The other thing that we see haplow percentage and the majority of pens a lot is that the media focuses sexualized violence that occurs is on how potential survivors can not outwardly physically violent,” protect themselves from experiexplained AVP Outreach Team encing sexualized violence, rather Leader Josey Ross. than how perpetrators can not, and “It is between people who know that’s what we would really like to each other — so, boyfriend and girlchange,” Ross said. friend, or girlfriend and girlfriend, best Natarajan points to the list of tips friends or any type of acquaintance.” for women to protect themselves According to Ross, more than 80 that are often including in newspaper cent of incidences of sexual asper articles. sault occur between acquaintances. “Basically the only sure way to “It’s not a stranger attacking a stop an assault from happening is woman in a dark alley with a gun,” for the perpetrator to decide not to agreed AVP Co-ordinator Souassault the person. And you’d be mya Natarajan. “It often happens surprised how easy it is to do it, but indoors at a home or a car or a also how normalized some of this party; it can happen to people of any gender and the force involved is behaviour is, such as people thinking it’s perfectly okay to make jokes often emotional manipulation; it’s about, you know, date-rape drugs, not physical force or a weapon.” Natarajan says emotional manipu- or using alcohol to loosen women so that they’ll put out, get laid durlation can involve things like teasing dates,” said Natarajan. ing, the social misconception that A list, compiled by a feminist blogwomen “ask for it”, the label “slut,” ger, called “Sexual Assault Preventhe use of past or current relationtion Tips Guaranteed to Work” ships, social stigmas or blackmail. shifts the onus to the perpetrator. Most cases of sexual assault do “It’s very different from the advice not make it into the newspaper. usually given in media pieces about “It’s ironic that in the Times sexual assault,” said Natarajan. Colonist article about the sexual “This addresses often the victimassault [that happened on Friday, blaming, risk-reduction advice March 26] . . . it is referred to as the that’s given in newspaper articles recent sexual assault in Victoria last following the report of an assault.” week, because the fact is that there Ross says another way to help are sexual assaults that happen in prevent sexual assault is to look at Victoria every week and there is no such thing as ‘the’ sexual assault that the systemic reasons behind it. “I think one of the important happened,” explained Natarajan. things is to not treat it as an indi“But of course the articles that vidualized problem and rather look make it into the media are ones at how society creates these expectawhere there’s been physical tions around relationships that don’t violence and there’s been often give room for consent to be sought, a stranger or more than one man and we don’t teach young people assaulting a woman. Usually those what consent looks like,” she said. are the cases where assault has “If we’re looking at sexualized been reported and there has been violence asAD part Mar of a bigger problem a police presence. Most assaults, MARTLET 24 2011 of unequal relationships primarily that’s not the case.” between men and women, but of Ross says these reports can be
course sexualized violence happens between all genders. And if we look at it as stopping perpetrating as opposed to preventing yourself from experiencing it.” There are ways people can go about educating themselves about preventing sexual assault, says Ross. “I would say a great resource is a book called Yes Means Yes which looks out how our culture constructs consent and doesn’t construct consent, and really gives us lessons on how to have consensual sexual relationships,” she said. “I think the biggest thing is to start looking at the way we talk about consent and the way we talk about sexualized violence and to challenge it.” Victoria also has many resources for people who have experienced sexualized violence. AVP is on campus; the Women’s Sexual Assault Centre and the Men’s Trauma Centre are located downtown.
PREVENTION TIPS THAT WORK 1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behaviour. 2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone! 3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
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4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited. 5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM! 6. Remember, people go to laundry rooms to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room. 7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public. 8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them. 9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake! 10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do. via Colleen Jameson at nonotyou.tumblr.com
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Nuclear power struggle
Disaster at fukushima
Japan’s recent natural disaster has brought an enormous amount of attention to the field of modern nuclear power. While today’s reactors have been called the safest and most efficient sources of energy ever invented, a firestorm of fear-mongering press and uneducated Twitter posters have given some of the world’s governments serious pause when it comes to supporting nuclear power. And rightfully so. But cooler heads must prevail when things are heating up. As we stand on the brink of a fossil fuel collapse, living in a country with one of the most polluting and environmentally dangerous energy projects in the world (Alberta Tar Sands), we must take a frank and collected inventory of the facts before rejecting the atom and its power. Many cite Chornobyl as proof positive that nuclear power is a bust. It’s worth mentioning that Chornobyl’s nuclear plant, by today’s standards, had a terrible design. Modern plants are not susceptible to runaway nuclear reactions in the same way, and, unlike Chornobyl, they have containment vessels designed to withstand nuclear meltdowns if they do happen. Barring earthquakes of a magnitude over 8.9, meltdowns on par with Chornobyl are unlikely. Still, nuclear power has its drawbacks. Spent nuclear fuel remains dangerously radioactive, not for hundreds nor for thousands but for millions of years. Fukushima may fall short of Chornobyl, but it is devastating. And although another worst-case meltdown is unlikely, the consequence of one would be . . . well, apocalyptic. Then again, so are the prospects of global warming brought on by current energy sources like coal and oil. The merits and consequences of nuclear power have been hotly debated virtually since nuclear power’s invention, with some of the world’s best and brightest weighing in over the decades. Albert Einstein signed a draft of an anti-nuclear manifesto on his deathbed. Bertrand Russell described it as Einstein’s last public act. The manifesto was aimed at world leaders and called on them to abandon nuclear weapons of mass destruction and war. One can’t help but wonder what Einstein would say if he had lived to assess the state of the world’s nuclear reactors today. He would have realized that wars aren’t the only things that set off nuclear bombs — natural phenomena do, too. Environmental factors set off the situation at Fukushima. It wasn’t an attack: the earthquake could not have been prevented. Our ingenuity was at odds with our lack of connectedness with the natural world. It doesn’t matter how prepared we think we are or how far our technology has come: Mother Nature can always throw us a curve ball. When it comes to the scale of destruction involved with nuclear power and bombs, the state-of-the-art security measures we’ve come up with over the years are just plain unsatisfactory. The fact that it’s “unlikely” that a nuclear disaster will occur is just not good enough. It is unlikely that driving in a city will result in a car accident. But if a car accident made the entire city explode, taking that chance would be an unnecessary game of Russian Roulette when you could bike. We have choices. We don’t need to use either environmentally hazardous oil and coal or potentially life-threatening nuclear energy. We can use safe, sustainable energy instead. Think about it: what would a wind- or solar-powered meltdown look like? Probably not this scary.
Editorial topics are decided on by staff at our weekly editorial meeting at 2 p.m. every Friday in the Martlet office (SUB B011). Editorials are written by one or more staff members and are not necessarily the opinion of all staff members. 8 OPINIONS
letters Discussion foments change
Who we use
Re: “Not Bad, eh Aristotle?,” March 24
Re: “Uncovering animal research,” March 24
This piece struggles to propose a paradigm shift in the way the UVic community reacts to serious issues. It suggests we focus on the enjoyment of life in order to keep our spirits up and magically create tangible solutions to complicated problems. Rather than promote such a hollow moral absolutism, we should encourage exploration of the complex issues that plague our world. Bitching about global or local issues is in following with one of the most effective forces of change: discussion. This article’s statements about jumping to action and living blissfully is just nonsensical pandering to the unfortunate few who would rather bury their heads in the sand and criticize those who voice an opinion about real issues. Tuition rates, “Harper’s government,” hegemonic foreign policies and a system that caters to totalitarian corporations: these issues need to be discussed. Fixing them does not come about through jolly dancing and strumming guitars. Action can only be taken through a healthy base understanding of the issues in an environment where you are free to discuss such matters without being chastised for not being fun or happy.
Jon-Paul Zacharias states that “[b]iomedical animal research, when it causes pain, harm or death, is one of our most troubling interactions with animals.” I agree. However, those of us who are concerned about inflicting suffering and death on animals should also examine the ways we all do so every day. We cause “pain, harm or death” when we consume animal products such as food and clothing. Violence is inherent when we treat animals like property. For example, male chickens are of no value to the egg industry. They can’t lay eggs, and they don’t grow fast or large enough to be used for their flesh. As a result, many chicks hatched at production facilities are promptly killed using one of a variety of expedient methods. Grinding the chicks alive is one of those methods; it’s approved by the BC SPCA (Section 8.3.d.ii of their Certified Laying Hen Standards). Our use of animals for food and clothing is unnecessary. Zacharias brings up the question of “what we kill to eat.” Perhaps the question we ought to ask is who we use and kill to eat and clothe ourselves, and why we’re doing it?
Dana MacKenzie UVic student
Ian Kilpatrick Community member
Stick with the CFS Last week I heard a lot about the current referendum on membership in the Canadian Federation of
Students (CFS). Campaigners from both sides were eager to present me with their point of view, and both sides seemed passionate about their position. Still, I like to make up my own mind. After doing a bit of my own research I’ve decided to head to the polls this week to vote “yes.” Like it or not, the CFS — over half a million members strong — is the only voice students have to address the national and provincial governments. By working through this coalition of over 80 students’ unions, students across our country have won Canada’s first-ever system of needs-based grants. We’ve also capped tuition fee increases in our province for six consecutive years and won extensions on bus hours right here at UVic. Working together makes sense. Period. Joanne Tsung UVic student
Happy? Sad? Enraged? Tell us: email@example.com The Martlet has an open letters policy and will endeavour to print every letter received from the university community. Letters must be submitted by email, include your real name and affiliation to UVic, and have “Letter to the editor” in the subject line. Letters must be under 200 words and may be edited. March 31, 2011
Volume 63, Issue 28
The Martlet Editor-in-Chief Gemma Karstens-Smith Managing Editor Kristi Sipes Production Co-ordinator Marc Junker Advertising Director Bryce Finley News Editor Kailey Willetts Opinions Editor Vanessa Annand Features Editor Jason Motz Culture Editor Brad Michelson Sports Editor Max Sussman Junior Designer Glen O’Neill Photo Editor Sol Kauffman Staff Photographer Megan Kamocki Staff Writers Nathan Lowther Mark Worthing Distribution Co-ordinator Jon-Paul Zacharias Distribution Michael Miller Mike Edel Ivan Marko Web Editor Adam Bard Copy Editor Jon-Paul Zacharias Administrative Assistant Bridget Barker Staff Graham Briggs, Megan Dietrich, Karolina Karas, Taryn KarstensSmith, Tyler Laing, Anton North, Kate Shepherd, Cody Willett Contributors Stuart Armstrong, Sean Behnsen, Joanna Bell, Miryam Burns, Bruce Dean, Ryan Haak, Farron Hicks, Pat Murry, Marin Nelson, Candace O’Neill, Ryan Popoff, Hilary Smith, Leanna Temoana, Chelsea Tirling Cover image Glen O’Neill The Martlet Publishing Society is an incorporated B.C. society and a full member of Canadian University Press (CUP). We strive to act as an agent of constructive social change and we will not print racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise oppressive copy. Martlet (SUB B 011) P.O. Box 3035 University of Victoria Victoria, B.C. V8W 3P3 martlet.ca Newsroom: Editor: Business: Advertising: Fax:
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March 31, 2011
Which seat can we take? > Megan Dietrich When I was 13, I would darken my cheeks with eyeliner, wear a black turtleneck and spy with my best friend on middle-aged couples walking their dogs at night. None of my 13-year-old friends owned a Sebring, and I was definitely not making thousands and thousands of dollars from iTunes downloads. Needless to say, I was not the same 13-year-old as Rebecca Black. Most of us have seen her video for “Friday,” made fun of it for many hours, and learned a thing or two about the calendar (who knew that Sunday comes after Saturday?). Yes, it’s all been great fun taking shots at a squeaky-voiced preteen, but let’s think about this for a second: with over 56 million YouTube views and a single on iTunes that landed 37,000 downloads in its first week, we’re all making Rebecca Black rich. We’re all sitting on high horses cackling about a kid having no talent, but we’re still watching. We’re still downloading. We’re still writing articles about it. Is the age of mass social media and lightning-speed sharing turning us all into fools?
We’ve summoned this spectre.
Black’s mother gave Ark Music Factory $2,000 to bring the song to life, and, after it was mentioned in a Tosh.0 blog post on March 11, the YouTube video for “Friday” went viral. In no time, Black had us bobbing our heads at an underage parking-lot party and begging the question: “Which seat can I ta-ake?”
The quick circulation of the video on blogs and Facebook took it to 25 million views in about two days — all due to its being so laughable. Soon enough, countless parodies flooded the web. One features a preteen boy spouting ridiculous lyrics like “7 p.m. and I just slept in . . . gotta jump, jump, gotta pet a
cat.” Anyone and everyone jumped at the chance to poke fun at the tween, fueling the fire. It was when I saw Rebecca Black on Jay Leno, however, that I officially started to feel freaked out. A squawking grade eight student is making headlines and establishing one hell of a college fund: what does that say about us? Our society cannot resist satire. Substantial music and well-earned acclaim pale in comparison to our chance to make fun of something. The monstrous race for fame is only getting worse as more and more web surfers realize they can get their 15 minutes by following the lead. If you can trip on your coffee table and talk to Ellen Degeneres about it, why not, right? We’re setting the next generation up for a massive black hole in artistic culture. If all we know is cheap laughs, how can we continue to foster creativity or real craft investment? This is not merely about Rebecca Black. She’s just taking pre-existing cultural stupidity to the bank. I think it’s time we got over the “Friday” phenomenon and other sensations of its ilk. If it’s “Friday, Friday,” please, bring on Monday.
Libya and the UN A penny saved is a penny scourge The Big Bully Theory implodes under close scrutiny > STUART ARMSTRONG While in a pub on St. Paddy’s day, I found myself in a heated argument with a friend over a pint of Guinness. We discussed whether the United Nations (UN) had the right to launch air strikes to support the rebellion against Colonel Gaddafi in Libya. News coverage shows UN military forces destroying pro-Gaddafi forces under UN Security Council (SC) Resolution 1973. Some people ask if this is an act of war against Libya, or whether this is just a case of the strong nations picking on the weak. This is a common complaint I hear whenever the UN or NATO intervenes somewhere. The problem with the bullying theory (“might makes right”) is that under Chapter VII of the UN Charter, all UN members allow the SC to order military action to protect world peace and security. Article 39 states, “The Security Council shall determine the existence of any threat to the peace . . . and shall . . . decide what measures shall be taken . . . to maintain or restore international peace and security.” So if a nation’s policies are destabilizing to the world, the SC can order a resolution to stop them for the sake of world peace. But who is a permanent member of the SC is another matter. Some have said the SC is only a tool for Western global interests, rather than a tool for 21st-century peace. Some argue current SC permanent membership doesn’t reflect the global changes since the Second World War (when the victorious United States, U.K., France, China and Russia made themselves permanent members). However, whatever changes are made in the SC’s permanent membership, its actions will still be just as legal. As for what type of action the SC can take, Article 42 claims that “action may include demonstrations, blockade, and other operations by air, sea, or land forces of Members of the United Nations.” Even though the text specifies international conflicts, since the 1990s
this mandate has been expanded to include domestic conflicts that destabilize a region or involve the massacre of innocent civilians (such as in Rwanda, Somalia, Haiti and Bosnia). Given Libya’s importance as an African power and the attacks by pro-Gaddafi forces on civilians, the situation in Libya qualifies. The Gaddafi government in Tripoli claims that the no-fly zone infringes on their sovereignty; this is problematic. The international legal definition of a sovereign state is total control over internal territory and recognition from other sovereign states. Since Feb. 15, Colonel Gaddafi only controls the western half of Libya from Tripoli, while the rebels’ political leadership, the National Transitional Council (NTC), controls the eastern half from Benghazi. The NTC received recognition as the legitimate Libyan government in early March from the French, Portuguese and most Arab governments through the Arab League (a 22-nation alliance including Syria, Egypt and Saudi Arabia). On March 11, the European Union cut all ties with the Gaddafi government, and stated they will only deal with the NTC. Canada has yet to recognize the NTC. Admittedly, there are national interests at play here. Italy does not want a chaotic Libya and oil-importing nations want to safeguard Libya’s supply. Russia doesn’t want to lose Gaddafi as an ally, and the West wants a stable North Africa. But the no-fly zone and destruction of pro-Gaddafi forces will hopefully prevent further massacres, and possibly allow for the Libyan rebels to oust the Colonel. We have two choices. We can aid in the creation of a new democracy to replace a despot, or we can do nothing but bow to the belief that the West should avoid becoming a “bully” even when the Libyan people are asking for help. As I told my friend, that’s no choice at all — we must act. This is especially true when failure to act will most likely mean a protracted Libyan civil war.
> Farron Hicks Pennies have become more of an inconvenience than a necessity. It is time for the penny to be phased out. Nothing bothers me more than standing in a long lineup at the grocery store waiting for someone to pick pennies out of their wallet. The pile of pennies on the countertop takes forever to be counted. Anxious consumers stand behind me grumbling at the inconvenience. With debit cards, credit cards and prepaid gift cards, hardly anyone pays with cash anymore, let alone pennies. These copper plated nuisances are weighing down my pockets and wasting my time. Sweden discontinued its one-cent unit in the 1970s; Australia and New Zealand did so in the 1990s. Canada needs to follow suit. The penny has become more costly to keep than it is worth. According to the Bank of Canada, since the penny first made an appearance in 1908, its purchasing power has declined 95 per cent. This is a tremendous decline in the penny’s initial face value, and inflation will continue to depreciate the coin’s purchasing power. Currently, a penny costs about one and a half cents to produce and manufacturing costs will continue to rise as resources become increasingly scarce. In addition, each Canadian has accumulated approximately 600 pennies. Canadians are hoarding pennies, creating a false demand for more pennies. The Federal Government spends around $130 million per year to keep the penny in circulation. Retailers get annoyed when consumers pay in pennies. Their acceptance of pennies constantly decreases. If I wanted to get rid of a change purse full of pennies, I couldn’t drop them into the slot to pay for my bus transfer or insert them into a vending machine to purchase a chocolate bar. If I wanted to leave a $5 tip in pennies after eating at a restaurant, I would be considered rude. More people are using plastic, micro, mobile or Internet payments
instead of conventional cash. When consumers are in a rush, they are not going to reach for their stash of change and start counting their coins. Why spend money producing a coin when hardly anyone uses it? Some consumers are concerned they will have to pay more to retailers if the penny is discontinued. However, the Swedish Rounding System — used in countries such as Australia, New Zealand and Finland — allows consumers and retailers to remain satisfied. Rounding will not amount to greater profit for the retailer because the final taxed amount isn’t always rounded up. Customers save money when the final price is rounded down to the nearest multiple of five. This happens when a purchase ends in one, two, six or seven-cents. Retailers will only garner greater profits when the price is rounded up, as is the case when a total ends in three, four, eight or nine cents. The rounding evens itself out. The Swedish Rounding System only affects cash transactions; debit cards, credit cards and gift cards remain unaltered. Many argue that pennies provide proceeds to charitable organizations. They argue that people are more willing to donate pennies than other coins because of the penny’s low value. But the Salvation Army has stated that the cost of processing donations of pennies is too high and believes that in the absence of pennies, people will donate greater denominations (five cents, 10 cents etc.). To abolish the penny without any adverse repercussions, the Federal Government needs to enact efficient regulations. Unambiguous guidelines are necessary to prevent citizens from being confused and frustrated. The production of pennies needs to stop immediately. Money saved from producing pennies could be used to reduce Canada’s deficits. Canada could be $130 million richer, and citizens could walk around with lighter wallets and pockets. The penny will be phased out eventually. Why drag on the process any longer?
We’re not listening
Exploring the disconnect between the music industry and consumers Story: Brad Michelson - Art: Glen O’Neill
he music industry is faltering. Bands don’t know if a life of rock-and-roll is a viable economic future to pursue and newly established, grassroots record companies are finding it hard to pick up the slack. The only people seeing marginal success are our favourite industry antagonists: the major record labels. Still, marginal is the key word. Music sales are down. Concert ticket and merchandise sales are down. Even downloads are down. If it’s not free, no one wants it. There doesn’t seem to be a clear way out of this tempest of an industry recession. The labels are finding excuses to point fingers, but it’s evident that consumption trends have changed and the systems that have been established over the last decade are just not working for them.
Shifting gears The music industry has always fought technology, fearing its effects. “Traditionally, the record industry has never embraced a new high-tech format,” said Steve Knopper, contributing editor for Rolling Stone and author of Appetite for Self-Destruction: The Spectacular Crash of the Record Industry in the Digital Age. “They resisted radio. They resisted recorded music, period. They wanted to stick to sheet music.” When piracy and file sharing took off a decade ago, record companies began freaking out about how this new kind of music sharing would affect their sales. After a period of resistance, there was talk of the industry collectively developing a new format for digital music. One of these formats was known as MusicDNA. This new digital file had the same audio quality as a regular mp3, but also the ability for added metadata, such as lyrics, artwork, blog posts and videos to enhance the user’s experience. The kicker: the technology prevented the file from being copied or shared. But the format never seemed to catch on through any major music service or company. This could partially be due to the fact that MusicDNA was supposed to rival Apple’s iTunes LP, a format that offers similar added content. “[They knew] that to expand their business, they had to introduce a new format,” said Knopper. “What they didn’t count on was a format being forced upon them against their will by the public, and of course, that was the mp3.” Resistance has been one of the fatal flaws of the industry. In the past, the music industry has developed new platforms for listening, buying and enjoying music. The last 50 years have seen four different major formats: vinyl, cassettes, CDs and mp3s. Each of those, because of the mass cultural popularity of music, had a 10- to 15-year shelf life before a new medium took over. This trend has been broken by the mp3. It is the industry’s fault for tolerating the expired shelf life of the format. The longer something is around, the more likely people will find a way to exploit it.
Musical pirates Piracy is something that the music industry needs to come to terms with. Piracy can’t be contained, stopped, dismantled or fought — at least not right now. The argument being made by the record companies is that governments with lax copyright laws are enabling ‘criminals’ to ‘steal’ music. The problem for them is that once one website or service gets taken down, two more pop up in its place. What makes it even worse for lawmakers is that these sites are struc-
tured in a way that almost always slip through cracks in the host country’s legal system. One of the most popular cases of this is Sweden’s seemingly eternal battle with the popular torrent site The Pirate Bay. The site was rated the 17th most popular website in 2008. This filesharing flagship has been under constant attack from its home country because of its popularity. But they haven’t just sat back and taken their legal beatings; The Pirate Bay has been using legal loopholes in Swedish law to get out of trouble for years. These extend to the point where they were protected by diplomatic immunity by using the Pirate Party’s headquarters to host its servers inside the walls of the Swedish Parliament building. Even with this seemingly institutionalized medium for finding and distributing music throughout the world, there are still people who argue against it and suggest more of a cooperative approach. “Let me start by saying that I’m not pro-copyright infringement,” said Knopper. “I actually think it was appropriate when the music industry sued the entities that were guilty of piracy. What I could criticize the industry for is not seeing the digital download market as an opportunity. Instead, they just rode the CD model all the way into the ground.” But what has previously been seen as a two-sided battle has recently seen signs of peace — at least in the film industry. Paramount Pictures, one of the biggest studios in Hollywood, has teamed up with bit torrent sites, like The Pirate Bay, to distribute their new film, The Tunnel. The movie is being financed through crowd sourcing, allowing people to buy a frame of the movie. With about 135,000 frames, that’s a lot of funding. While the crowd-sourcing isn’t big news, the partnership with file-sharing sites is. If they can do it, and potentially make it work, why can’t the music industry?
Lack of initiative When was the last time that the music industry did anything that changed the way you experience music? No, the sexification of music post-Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty” video doesn’t count. The vinyl resurgence of the past few years was exactly that — a resurgence. And long form music videos have been around since the ’80s. In reality, there has been little new creative initiative. This is because of a lack of creative innovation in the higher layers of the industry. “Doug Morrison, recently of Universal, has said pretty publicly that there aren’t that many technologists at the top layers of the music business. There were a bunch towards the bottom,” said Knopper. “These guys were not guys who were going to go into the labs and say, ‘Let’s concoct a new technology.’ They weren’t Steve Jobs characters.” Knopper, like many industry critics, believes that there was a period about 10 years ago when the music industry had a chance to innovate, but failed to do so. “At the time that Napster came around, 1999-2000, the record industry was at its absolute peak. ’N Sync, Justin Timberlake, Eminem and Britney Spears, all those guys were selling seven, eight, nine, 10 million records in their first week. Those were just crazy numbers that we will almost certainly never ever see again. In addition to that, [the industry] had this amazing business model [where they] put out, one, two, three good songs by an act, and sell it on a $15 to $18 CD. They were making money hand over fist. Nobody in the industry wanted it to stop.” The industry took a look at the new emerging model for music, working with a ‘free,’ or nearly free model, earning money off touring and merchandise with very little from music sales, and chose to resist it.
March 31, 2011
“The music industry looked at that and said, ‘No way do we want to go down that road. We’re making money hand over fist. We’re huge. We have bulletproof limos. We’re super rich guys. There’s no reason we should [do that].’” But the plan to make money off downloads has had complications. In order to change things, the companies would have needed to re-negotiate the artists’ contracts. “You can’t just say, ‘Hey, we’re going to start selling Beatles music online.’ As we’ve seen, you can’t do that. You need to get the permission from all the Beatles, their publisher, their record label, etc.,” said Knopper. “That whole thing was a very complicated process. Nobody in the music industry was really excited about moving in that direction because of all those complicated things.”
Channels of distribution One question surrounding the music industry is the labels’ use of distribution channels. Over the last few years, hundreds of online avenues for distributing and discovering music (both legal and not) have emerged online and in print media. By now, the four major record labels (EMI, Universal, Warner, and Sony) have missed the wave. “One key thing that they should have done was to make a deal with Napster. At its peak in 2000, there was something like 20 million users on Napster.” In his book, Knopper goes through all the hypothetical numbers, outlining how much money the industry actually would have made if they had teamed up with companies like Napster and began offering people paid subscription services. “You would have probably lost certain people who like the radical, anti-establishment part of Napster, and you would have lost, just simply, people who like to get music for free,” said Knopper. “But again, think about Facebook as if it was built around music and you could actually download songs and share playlists. Instead of sharing music through videos on YouTube, which is kind of how you do it now on Facebook, each time you make a transaction like that, it makes money for the music industry.” It’s a revolutionary idea, but Knopper acknowledges that it’s easy to point fingers and criticize with 20/20 hindsight. For the labels, it’s all about the money. Without it, there are no means for them to continue their operations, a sympathetic angle even to the staunchest pro-piracy advocates. “I actually think that the music industry would love a $10-a-month-subscription service at this point. But the question is, will consumers go along with it now that they are used to the Apple model and getting all their music for free?” We may be able to see how this works out in the near future. Apple is rumoured to be launching its paid, cloud-based music service this summer. Whether it will catch on or radically change the industry is anybody’s guess. For now, the industry is in a wait-and-see mode. No one is willing to gamble on attempting to institutionalize a new business model for fear that the public won’t latch on.
Who needs a label? The usefulness of record labels is a widely-argued industry topic today. Some say that to get a song on the radio or a video on MTV, you need the media contacts of a label. However, some bands say that they can make more of a living without representation.
March 31, 2011
“I think it depends on what kind of band you want to be,” said Knopper. “The most efficient way to [become] a Justin Timberlake or a Lady Gaga is . . . to sign with a label. [For] everybody else who doesn’t want to do that . . . there are many more resources for marketing online and touring and all these different things to make money than there used to be.” In fact, many superstar bands that used to associate with record labels have parted ways with their old business partners and decided to go forth on their own accord. This extends from Radiohead (with their pay-what-you-want-model, making up the money on concert sales), to Trent Reznor with Nine Inch Nails (after his public split with Interscope Records, he encouraged fans to steal music and share it with their friends), as well as bands like Weezer and OK Go.
But how does this apply to newer bands? “What they basically have to do is focus on making good music, putting their name out there, and touring a lot,” explained Knopper. “Once they come to the crossroads of [whether to] sign with a label or not, that’s where they have to decide what kind of artist they want to be. If you want to be Lady Gaga, you probably have to. If you want to be Mumford and Sons, you probably don’t.” But Mumford and Sons, and similar bands, are part of a small percentage of acts that are popular despite being signed to smaller independent labels. Knopper cites Arcade Fire as another example. These groups, much like superstar bands, already have a die-hard indie following who will like them regardless of whether they play at the Grammys or not. This doesn’t apply to newer independent bands, however. Most bands work for years for the chance to sign with a major label. One of these bands was a group from Vancouver called The Februarys. The Febs were one of the lower mainland’s most promising rock acts, constantly selling out shows wherever they played in B.C. After releasing two albums, the band was offered a contract with Canadian label, Wind-Up Records, a subsidiary of Warner Music, in 2008. The group quickly moved to Toronto. They began writing and recording their next record in Nashville, Tenn., and released a music video for the single off the upcoming record. After a year of production setbacks, delays and a lack of gigs, the Febs were part of a seldom-discussed dropping of bands from Wind-Up’s repertoire. Since then, the band seems to have ceased to exist. Although this mass forced exodus of record label-backing is rumoured to be due to a drop in funding or low record sales for the label, stories like these are a deterrent for up-and-coming bands.
The search for the next big thing The near future of the music industry is up for debate. Critics are past pointing fingers at the major labels for not updating the format and driving the CD model into the ground for selfish reasons. Now the community is looking forward, discussing new ways for the industry to revitalize itself and hopefully recover from this multi-layered recession. The new ideas being discussed, tried and criticized are yet to be seen as effective. Bands are now second-guessing the usefulness of labels and have begun going at the business on their own accord, working on business models that work better for them and end with a better economic outcome. Until then, the industry will continue looking forward to the next best thing. “The golden goose was killed a long time ago,” said Knopper. “Now we’re dealing with, as they say, pennies instead of dollars.”
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UVic theatre grads present political comedy > Marin Nelson WHAT: Chairs: A Parable WHERE: Metro Studio (1411 Quadra) WHEN: March 30 – April 2, 8 p.m. HOW MUCH: Tickets $21 or $10 student rush (day of show only), intrepidtheatre.com If you’ve been jonesin’ for some theatre with substance, comedy and innovation, look no further. Emerging indie theatre company, Itsazoo Productions is touring to Victoria with their latest show, Chairs: A Parable, an absurdist, politicallycharged comedy. Chairs is an original play, written by playwright/actor Sebastien Archibald and directed by Chelsea Haberlin, both graduates of UVic’s theatre program. Haberlin explains that Chairs is “not a naturalist production.” “The audience is given no context, but by putting it in an absurdist construct, it allows you to look at the bigger picture,” she said. “It’s not a clean-cut script. It’s an odd idea, but it allows us to present our political ideas in a way that isn’t as didactic, so we aren’t preaching to the audience.” Chairs: A Parable follows three men in a post-apocalyptic world, struggling to co-exist. When one of them decides to build a giant chair, a power struggle ensues, begging questions about our own attitudes toward social hierarchies. Chris Wilson, another UVic theatre graduate, plays Man No. 1, a power-hungry character who is dis-
Chairs: A Parable, is a politically-charged comedy with substance, put on by Itsazoo Productions.
satisfied with the world around him and seeks change. Wilson’s biggest challenge while approaching the role was finding a balance between an evil caricature, and someone relatable. “That’s when a play is strongest” said Wilson. “When the audience likes and can relate to the characters,
in one way or another. The success of this play is the relationships that you watch. Equally, it’s one of the difficulties in trying to grasp the play.” Although Itsazoo is best known for their promenade productions — site-specific theatre that allow the audience to participate in the same environment as the actors — Chairs
is a minimalist production, which allowed the “zoo crew” to dedicate their focus to the inventive script. The writing is Judd Apatow-esque (think Superbad and Pineapple Express); it’s interjected with fastpaced, witty banter, designed to be colloquial and recognizably modern. Although the production isn’t as
large-scale as they’re used to, they’ve maintained their signature of incorporating visually-stunning multimedia — just one of the things that sets this company apart from the rest. “We are always creating new work, we don’t generally do classics, unless they’re re-imagined, and that’s considered kind of risky for a young company. We have a political edge — we put on really entertaining productions, but they also say something. We all have something to say,” said Haberlin. Their political predilection has garnered them some muchdeserved attention, including an award for Vancouver’s Favourite New Company by the Westender. The provocative writing seems to attract a younger, 20-something audience, something rare in theatre. Culture Vulture accurately describes Chairs as “satirical theatre at its best served up for today’s sardonic hipster generation.” Itsazoo seems to be in tune with their approach to contemporary issues and dialogue, but it’s clear that the driving force of their success is simply dedication. “[Haberlin] is the hardest worker I know. The Itsazoo team — they just make compromises for each other. It’s easy to work with people like that,” said Wilson. Haberlin, says that the ‘zoo crew’s dedication comes from being a theatre family. “We’re not going to give up until we’re successful. We see the longterm goal and we’re going to get there.”
Victoria band makes waves at home and beyond > Hilary Smith WHAT: Rocky Mountain Rebel Music album release WHERE: Rehab Nightclub WHEN: Thursday, March 31, doors at 9 p.m. HOW MUCH: $9 Rocky Mountain Rebel Music (RMRM) isn’t just a band — it’s a party. When asked why students should spend their cash seeing RMRM in concert, keys player Martin Milbo Schoeps’ reply is simple. “People are going to get laid.” The RMRM members aren’t subtle, and neither is their music: the 10-piece performs with a loose-cannon-like energy that’s guaranteed to get audiences’ dancing. Their set list offers a buffet of musical genres, including reggae, ska, funk, dance-party, and dub, all infused with a Latin flavour and the DIY-ethic of punk. “Every song’s a different animal,” said singer Andrew Murgatroyd. “I’m tentative to describe our musical style. It’s something to be experienced in person. Our energy carries over to the audience.” What started in 2008 as a sixperson band, and grew through “the miracle of craigslist,” has expanded to include members from Victoria, Ontario, the U.K., Brazil and Denmark. Always open to fresh faces, musical friends of RMRM often appear on stage to perform with
them. The band, their namesake taken from one of Canada’s geographical claims to fame, is discreet about what inspired their title. “Lululemon was taken,” said bass player Eric Wickman. Fans can hear the latest from RMRM at their album release party at Rehab Nightclub on March 31. The band has been working hard on the new album, Vic Soundsystem, their second release, since October, and Murgatroyd promises a pay-off. The professionally produced album features 14 tracks, including the single “Red Red Sky.” The past year has been an exciting one for RMRM. They sold out two shows at UVic this semester and recently returned from their Frozen Heart Winter Tour, where they played 10 shows across B.C. and Alberta. They’ve also been short listed for a Monday Magazine M award for being Victoria’s favourite band. The band hit the jackpot when The Zone 91.3 selected them as their band of the month for March. “The timing couldn’t have been better,” said Murgatroyd. The radio station is sponsoring the release party and giving the band plenty of radio play. “People can download the songs off [the station’s] website, which is great. This really opens up avenues for other commercial stations.” While the band is pleased with the increased playtime, they are sure to appreciate the first fans that supported their music. They have great
RMRM have a diverse and expansive lineup with members hailing from Canada, the U.K., Brazil and Denmark.
appreciation for the local Victoria arts community, and received much of their initial radio play through CFUV and episodes of Back Alley Jams. “We love Victoria,” said Murgatroyd. The band also wants to support charitable causes through their music. They played for TLC’s Beers for Beaches, where ticket sales went to conservation efforts for the Jordan River and Sandcut beach
area. RMRM will also be playing at Centennial Square on April 30 at a demonstration against urban sprawl. At the CD release, Murgatroyd looks forward to playing for the community that has supported his band since its beginnings and he wants to show them a good time. “It will be a crazy dance party on stage.” Doors at the release show open at 9 p.m. The first 50 people to the show before 10 p.m. get in
free. After that, tickets will be sold for $9. The Zone will be handing out free giveaways, as well as free pizza from Palaggio’s, after the show. Vic Soundsystem will be available to purchase for $15. So, if you’re looking to get lucky or simply want to dance the end-ofsemester away, get in line and be sure to, as Murgatroyd advises, “bring your dancing pants and your party shoes.”
March 31, 2011
FOR THE WEEK OF MARCH 29, 2011
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1.Â PJÂ HARVEY Â LetÂ EnglandÂ ShakeÂ (Island)Â 2.Â DUMÂ DUMÂ GIRLS Â HeÂ GetsÂ MeÂ HighÂ EPÂ (SubÂ Pop) 3.Â WEÂ AREÂ THEÂ CITYÂ * Â HighÂ SchoolÂ (AdventureÂ BoysÂ Club) 4.Â MOTHERÂ MOTHERÂ * Â EurekaÂ (LastÂ Gang) 5.Â BRAIDSÂ *Â Â NativeÂ SpeakerÂ (FlemishÂ Eye) 6.Â LYKKEÂ LI Â WoundedÂ RhymesÂ (LL/Atlantic) 7.Â J.Â MASCIS Â SeveralÂ ShadesÂ OfÂ WhyÂ (SubÂ Pop) 8.Â KURTÂ VILE Â SmokeÂ RingÂ ForÂ MyÂ HaloÂ (Matador) 9.Â TOROÂ YÂ MOI Â UnderneathÂ TheÂ PineÂ (Carpark) 10.Â BLACKÂ PISTOLÂ FIREÂ * Â BlackÂ PistolÂ FireÂ (RiďŹ‚ebird)
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Kilt designer Steve Ashton works on a Stewart Black-pattern kilt at Freedom Kilts in Fernwood.
Victoria’s tartan takeover > Nathan Lowther
Check out our review of Mother Mother’s March 28 show at the Alix Goolden Hall on our website, martlet.ca.
Scottish history and influence in Victoria will be celebrated as part of the Tartan Week Celebrations from April 2 to 9. Events around town throughout the week will give people an excuse to embrace their inner Scot. “What we’d like to say to the local community is, even just for fun, wear your tartan to work or to school or your daily activities because, well, it’s a great fashion statement, but there’s also a lot of history and heritage there,” said David Thomas Cook in a phone interview. Cook says that approximately 4.7 million Canadians claim Scottish heritage. Cook is a member of the St. Andrews and Caledonia Society (SACS), which traces its lineage back to Sir James Douglas, B.C.’s first governor and SACS first president. Like Douglas Street, many Victoria landmarks give a nod to Scottish influence.
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“Between 15 and 20 per cent of all the place names in Victoria, be it streets or parks or inlets or whatever, are named after Scots,” said Cook, using Mount Tolmie, Mount Doug, and McPherson Playhouse as examples. Tartan Week festivities kick off on April 2 at Market Square, with B.C.’s Lieutenant Governor Steven L. Point presiding at the opening ceremonies. Official provincial tartans from across the country will be on display, while Scottish dancers, tartan weavers and shortbread entertain the entire family. “We’re even saying bring the family dog,” Cook said. “Put a tartan bow around their neck [or] bring your dog with a little tartan jacket or tartan handkerchief, or whatever you want.” Starting April 3, Craigdarroch Castle will have a week-long run of weavers, displays and even books that allow visitors to find their own clan’s tartan. There are over 8,000 tartans officially registered in the National Archives of Scotland, ranging from clan names, to military groups, to provinces, countries and cities. While you should try to avoid mixing tartans, you don’t have to belong to a clan to wear theirs, said Cook, as all clans enjoy seeing their colours worn. Canada has an official tartan, the Canadian Maple Leaf Tartan, which was designed in 1964 to commemorate the centennial of Canada’s Dominion status in 1967. The red, yellow, brown and gold in the tartan represent the seasonal changes of the maple leaf. Each province also has a tartan, although Quebec’s isn’t officially recognized. Local kilt-maker
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and owner of Fernwood’s Freedom Kilts, Steve Ashton, designed the capital city’s official tartan, the Victoria City of Gardens Tartan. “I took the six colours from First Nations poles. I put a broad band of blue for the ocean that surrounds us; a broad band of green for our forests and green spaces; smaller black lines for the roads that connect us; even smaller interconnecting red lines for the bricks of our heritage buildings, and a single small yellow and white line for the little splashes of colour from our city’s hanging baskets,” Ashton said in a phone interview. Both Ashton and Cook say that the colours of a tartan aren’t necessarily significant, especially for older ones. But the design is important, as without a certain geometric alignment, a tartan would just be a plaid. “All tartans are plaids, but not all plaids are tartans,” Ashcroft said. “Tartan is defined as being symmetrical . . . sideways and up-down, symmetrical so they form squares.” The first officially recognized National Tartan Day is April 6, which will be celebrated with Scottish music and dancers, and presumably some Scottish ale and whiskey, at the Bard and the Banker. “It will be sort of like a great celebration for the Scots, similar to what the Irish do on St. Patrick’s Day, although with a little more significance,” said Cook. The significance is that April 6, 1320, marked the signing of the Declaration of Arbroath, which is considered Scotland’s Declaration of Independence. It came about 30 years after William Wallace’s victory over the professional English army, as retold in Mel Gibson’s Braveheart. Despite this connection, ironically, tartans are only affiliated so strongly with Scots because of the English. Though tartans predate the Declaration of Arbroath, they didn’t always represent a family. A 3,000-year-old mummified corpse was found in China, buried with tartan leggings. It’s believed the Celtic traveler possibly came from what’s now France, but that tartan wouldn’t have represented the man’s clan. “The thing you have to remember is that tartans are not an ancient thing. They only began to be named about the time of Queen Victoria,” Ashton said. “Prior to that, tartans were generally regional. Every town or village had a weaver, every weaver had their special pattern, everybody bought from the same weaver, everybody was all dressing alike. The English looked at that and went, ‘Oh, must be the clan system,’ and started naming them, and that’s how it all came about.”
March 31, 2011
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Celebrating undergraduate scholarship at UVic. The 2011 Undergraduate Scholars Research Fair: Discovery, Exploration, Creativity Tuesday, April 5, 11:30 am â€“ 2:30 pm Student Union Building 11:30 Undergraduate research panel (Cinecenta) 12:30 Visit research booths and artistsâ€™ installations (MichĂ¨le Pujol Room and Upper Lounge) Free! Everyone welcome and no registration required. Enjoy cake and punch! Find out how you can apply for one of the Jamie Cassels Research Awards. Information: www.ltc.uvic.ca or email firstname.lastname@example.org
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To learn how you can contribute to the new Ring, visit ring.uvic.ca and click on â€œGet involved.â€?
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Vikes golf teams look for sweet swing of success Both the UVic men’s and women’s teams are gunning for spots in the NAIA postseason, though there’s still work to be done > Nathan Lowther UVic golfers are gearing up for their post-seasons with upcoming national championships on both sides of the border. Going into the tournaments, the women’s team is hoping to keep the ball rolling while the men are hoping to avoid the rough that’s plagued them all year. “The women are outstanding. They’ve played really well. We’re ranked six in the [National Associate of Intercollegiate Athletics’] NAIA [coach’s poll],” said UVic’s head coach Bryan Carbery. “The men have been struggling. They’re ranked . . . [14th and] they’ve really struggled with consistency.” UVic competes in the NAIA Association of Independent Institutions, which includes UBC and universities from all four corners of the continental U.S. NAIA Regionals happen April 23 to 26 in Houston, Texas. Winning teams get an automatic berth in the NAIA National Championships, May 23 to 27 in Quad City, Iowa. The Vikes also partake in the Royal Canadian Golf Association (RCGA) Canadian University and College Championships, held in Whitby, Ontario from May 30 to June 6. Both national championships follow a similar format, said Carbery. “We play five players and you count your four best scores. And at National Championships that would be contested over four days, so 72 holes. So every day you take your five scores and take your four best ones out of that.” UVic and UBC perennially
dominate the Canadian tournament, usually finishing one-two. But in the NAIA, at least one half of the program is in jeopardy of even making the National Championships. “With the men, it looks like they’ll have to win regionals to qualify for nationals,” Carbery said. But he’s optimistic the women will be in play in Iowa. “They should breeze pretty comfortably into nationals because they’re ranked so high that they’re going to find a spot there. We just finished playing a tournament where we beat the number one team by 12 shots, so that stands us in good stead.” Carbery cites the unprecedented depth on this year’s women’s squad, saying they have at least eight strong players that could make the national tournament quintuplet. “I started the women’s program 11 years ago and this is the deepest we’ve ever been. Now is the time for us to make the next step up and hopefully we will.” Having that depth allows Carbery to move players in and out of the lineup, depending on who’s playing best. It makes filling out roster spots three through five a tough task though. “Megan Woodland and Alyssa Herkel have been by far and away our number one and two players,” Carbery said. But the other slots will be determined on the course. “We try to get them playing against each other, it’s healthy competition and drives them. They know they have to play well to get that plane trip.” The men’s side doesn’t have
the same problem. They actually lost three top players this year. One didn’t return to school, one transferred and one didn’t come in focused. Even last year’s second team All-American, Sam Holland, has had some kinks in his swing this season. “He hasn’t played up to his capabilities and he’d be the first to admit it. He’s struggled a little bit,” his coach said. The team will get some reinforcements for the RCGA Championships, which has Carbery excited. Last year Mitch Evanecz and Ann Waldorz (who was just named UVic’s Female Athlete of the Year) were both named firstteam All-Americans. But because American university sports only allow four years of eligibility, compared to five in the Great White North, they will be making their season debut at the Canadian tournament. “Because they’ve been the most important members of my team over the past five years I’m going to put them in there because I’d be a little bit stupid if I didn’t.” Their addition gives both sides depth they don’t have at the NAIA level. An imbalance of funding for programs creates some disparity between programs, especially at the bottom of the roster. “Our first, second, third players we can usually be competitive, but . . . the Oklahoma teams, the Texas teams, maybe UBC as well, they have a lot of scholarship money, giving them the ability to be deep at all five players, and that’s a big deal.” UBC, the defending NAIA cham-
Megan Woodland has consistently found herself at the top of coach Bryan Carbery’s lineup for the UVic women’s golf team.
pions, are the Vikes’ top rival and potential foil at all three tournaments. Being one of the best teams on the continent doesn’t matter if you can’t get past a team within your own province. But Carbery likes having a geographical rival that’s also a top dog on the links. He’s looking forward to
seeing how well his Vikes match up against them. “I’m a little bit excited. I think this year we’ve got a shot. There’s going to be some really good competition on the men’s and women’s side at the Canadian nationals, but we’ve definitely got the ability to win a championship.”
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K X H Q F Q U W B O D S J P O Y S L A L N E T L D O G A X Y
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Q V S C A T S M E O W E Z S S R E N T J P B U L U O I J V A
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TWENTY THREE SKIDOO Horoscopes for the week of March 28, 2011 BEESKNEES CATSMEOW WHOOPEE CITYSLICKER Aries (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19): If you’ve been SHINDIG playing with fire lately, you can expect to get AWOOFING burned this week, Aries. Unfortunately, there DUMBDORA is no chance of recovering from this one. The CATERWAULING OLDHATdamage has already been done.
Taurus (Apr. 20 - May 20): You’ve been a working machine the past while in order to earn a little extra coin. However, if you’re hoping to stay sane this week, you’re going to have to take some time for yourself. Money’s great, but your sanity is priceless. Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Sure, it’s true that sometimes it is better to agree to disagree in order to get past a conflict, but not always. Stay true to yourself this week and stand up for what you believe in without compromise. Cancer (June 21 - July 22): You may need to grant yourself a little bit of solitude this week in order to make sense of a current situation. Once you understand exactly what’s going on, you’ll be in a better position to determine your next move. Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): If you have to take on a teaching role this week, then patience will be of the utmost importance. Enjoy the challenge instead of allowing yourself to become frustrated during the process. Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): With so many different options and so much uncertainty surrounding the future, you’re finding it hard to make a decision these days. Wait it out — things will become clearer within the next week or two.
BY CANDACE O’NEILL
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): Instead of focusing on all of the things that you haven’t accomplished, try giving yourself a pat on the back for all the things that you have done. The little victories are just as important as the big ones. Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Taking care of yourself will be crucial this week, especially if you have been letting your health slip by the wayside. So take your vitamins and make sure you’re well rested — you will need to be on top of your game this weekend. Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): It’s time to stop spending your money so frivolously and get those finances in check. You’ll need as much disposable income as possible when an opportunity for a trip presents itself to you in the near future. Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Whether you like it or not, you’re bound to suffer from a severe case of foot-in-mouth disease this week. It would be best to avoid situations in which you might end up discussing sensitive subject matter. Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Now is most definitely not the time to display your shy side, Aquarius, as a potential job opportunity will require you to be your usually charming and outgoing self. Better snap out of it quick! Pisces (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20): You are more than exhausted these days, but don’t give up just yet. This week, after months of hard work, you will finally arrive at the finish line, Pisces! Enjoy the much-deserved relaxation headed your way.
B a r r i st e r s , So l i c i t o r s, N o t a r i es , P a t e n t a n d T r a d e - M a r k A g e n t s
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EVENTS Feng Shui for Spring Workshop Saturday April 2, 2–4 p.m. Tickets $20 (advance), $25 (door) For more information, call All Things Balanced (250) 589-2035
Parkinson Society Canada wants to inform people that April is Parkinson Awareness Month and April 11 is World Parkinson’s Day. Go to parkinson.ca for more information, or call 1-800-565-3000 UVic Senate open meeting Friday April 1, 3:30 p.m. University Centre room A180 CLASSIFIEDS FREE EYEBROW THREADING with Brazilian waxing, $37. Fernwood Holistic Health Care Centre. Only by appointment. (250) 507-7174. OLD WINERY SELF STORAGE Clean, secure, indoor lockers. Open 7 days per wk. (250) 727-2311. 3952 Quadra St. Behind the Keg. Discounts available! CALLING ALL SKINNYDIPPERS and wannabes too. A local nudist club is holding monthly nude swims at a city recreation centre pool. If you are interested in attending, please feel free to contact arbutusparkswim@yahoo. ca or phone (250) 472-1805 for more information.
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March 31, 2011
THE MARTLET, MARCH 3 1,
one’s skin tone, allowing the woman to wear the clothes rather than havEvery young woman knows that to ing the clothes wear the woman. get ahead in the world, she must put As for accessories, dainty jewels her best face forward and present her are always preferred. Several strands most stylish self. By simply sporting of pearls and a small hat in suede a smartly-assembled ensemble and a or beaver are current spring musts. classy ’do, young women everywhere Matching such accessories to one`s can undoubtedly accomplish anything costume is not as important as making to which they set their minds — and sure all facets of the outfit blend well. perhaps land a male suitor to boot! Remember, if all is matched, you run Styling one`s outfits should be a top the risk of having no depth or interest priority for any young woman as this to your attire. sets the tone for the day. A woman Perhaps most importantly, the latwho wears hideous beige tones est in spring wardrobe essentials is or neutral colours runs the risk of this: bare your bosom, ladies. There looking terribly drab in the daytime. are a variety of accentuating neckChoosing a perfect colour to wear lines emerging from the catwalks of is almost as important as choosing Paris. Bearing your décolleté with a the right style. It is always advised daring neckline shows off that subtle that a woman incorporate some bold femininity that every woman has. colours in her ensemble. Navy blues, Remember, these racy necklines will deep mauves or similar hues offer a not go unnoticed! bright way for young women to look Correct your style faux-pas by becoming. paying careful consideration to your Most women now-a-days believe clothing costumes and utilizing this that they should choose a colour sage advice. In no time, you will be based on their eyes; however, this looking smart, snappy, and absolutely advice is misguided. It is rather more glamorous. And what young woman appropriate to pick a dress based on would`t want that?
By Emillie Postage
By Tip O’Hannigan
outstanding by everyone involved, from the main Though I’ve seen Seven characters all the way down Samurai nearly 10 times, I to the very last extra. Aldiscover something new every though Toshiro Mifune is time I watch it. often considered the star, for I don’t understand how me Takashi Shimura, who is anyone could possibly absorb firmly fixed at the center of this movie in less than two or the movie, is the focal charthree viewings. It is amazacter. He is the guiding moral ing how each of the seven force from the moment of his individual samurai can make appearance and can capture such an impact, especially to the viewer’s attention. someone who can’t understand It’s beautifully filmed in Japanese. black and white, but anyone The story is simple: a poor familiar with these new colour Japanese village hires seven films they have been touting samurai to protect it from be- has to wonder how much more ing raided by bandits. Despite visually appealing it could the basic story, this is an have been with this jazzy new intense and emotional picture technology. that hooks you from the first Overall, this is a film worth scene and keeps you on the the 25 cents. If only there line until the grand concluwere a way to watch it in the sion. comfort of our own homes. The performances are
By Kodo Page Finally. Another chance to throw the bastards out. Prime Minister Helfer and his gang of Conservative cronies have ruled with contempt for Parliament and Canadians for too long, and we have to make sure that they hang themselves with their own noose during this election. Scandals plague this government like flies on a dead cow. Instead of answering for the actions of his government, Helfer storms around the country, sowing fear into the hearts of all those seduced into believing there’s a bigger piece of the economic pie for them if they learn to tune out the voices of all the “lefty pinko-commies” out there. Whether you’re a lefty or a righty or a none-of-the-above, you must see that Canada has never faced a world more in need of our moral leadership and generous spirit. We could help negotiate peace in places of conflict. We could be helping rebuild the lives of those afflicted by war profiteering. We could be helping lead the rebuilding of devastated nations like Japan, rebuilding trust and relationships in the process. Under this government, we are not. Helfer may have thrilled all of the Bay Street old boys in their shiny new pinstriped suits, but far too many Canadians are much less contented. The next generations will never have known first-hand the devastation caused by war. They will live amid a persistent spectre of global catastrophe and wait listlessly for something to happen. Consider the hipsters that stay up late, slavishly listening to frenetic new music, the beatniks who talk about a world in harmony and the squares who marvel at the amazing new things machines can do. This election will result in either intensified pressure to conform or the immanent transcendence of parochial attitudes for them. Our future depends upon whether or not a youthful generation known for its unpolitical attitude sees this moment as a happening that cries out for their involvement. Helfer doesn’t want you to feel you’re involved. He does want you to go home and forget to vote when classes let out this spring. According to him, it’s the adults who should be deciding who gets to run the country. They’re the ones least likely to recognize that right across the board, he’s doing it wrong.
THE MARTLET, MARCH 3 1,
By Marius Soleil
and happiness in their own way. “This whole time, I’ve been waiting The war is over. for the right opportunity to tell everyWorld leaders have convened in an one that I am, at heart, a socialist,” undisclosed location in Switzlerland to said Winston Churchill. discuss what is being called the “Never Mackenzie King reiterated Churchill’s Again Accord.” The historic agreestatement. ment will establish a precedent for the “Yeah, guys. I’m thinking we need to international community, ending colo- move towards a socialist world state. nialism and obliterating the hegemony Really, though.” of the few over the masses. Leaders of the major powers are enNo longer will world leaders send gineering the accord to ensure that by the young men and women of their year 2000, there will be no conquests countries to die for their quarrels. No at the expense of a people. Indigenous longer will tyranny escalate past the populations will have thriving commulevy of what is now being called Hunities, capitalism will be history, miliman Rights. tary hegemony will end, and nuclear Human Rights will ensure the integdevelopment will be abandoned. rity of all people to pursue life liberty
Many a local cat is quick to boast of Victoria’s swinging jive scene, and it was recently proven that they aren’t just a-woofing. Friday last, local crooners The Swinghoppers rang out the ol’ bells at the Sirocco Supper Club, spinning strains of about the jitteriest jivehoppery this burg has ever swung to. Victoria’s savviest swingers will take a care not to miss the next sing-song these kids put on, and you can just bet there will be hopping a-plenty. Be sure to take a gander at the event calendars of the local jive clubs, so you don’t miss a beat!
Attention gentlemen! The Victoria College rowing term encourages any lads interested in joining next year’s team to stop by the information session next Monday in the Athletics Building. Prospective athletes may view the College’s skiffs and try their hand at the fitness qualification test. A rower must be in excellent condition, and he should be able to do at least 10 push-ups, 20 situps, and 20 skip-rope hops, with no more than a two-minute break between each exercise type. The session will have free eats and cigarettes.
Fellows! Don’t forget to buy your tickets to the end-of-session dance, and cap the year off for you and your favourite gal in real style. Ladies, be sure to give your admirers plenty of opportunities to ask for your company! Tickets are available at the fountain Monday to Friday for 50-cents a pop.
The Electrifying Tales of Sparky
by Sum Wan