marlies|dekkers fall winter 2019

Page 15

The first time I saw the phenomenon that is Billie Holiday, she was wearing a frumpy maid uniform. Even though the movie I was watching with my mother - a romantic melodrama called ‘New Orleans’ (1947) - was innocent enough, and I was still a child, I could already tell there was something terribly wrong with the picture. This gorgeous, proud woman was too glamorous for her outfit; as a matter of fact, she was way too formidable for the movie! I would soon find out that Billie Holiday was one of those women that society likes to call ‘too much’. I was hooked.

When I say ‘Billie Holiday’, what image

pieces into masterpieces, and she had

do you see? The greatest jazz singer of

done so in a uniquely feminine way.

all time, hypnotizing a sold-out Carnegie Hall with that voice, luscious gardenias

Inspired by women like Frida and Billie,

in her hair? Or the junkie arriving at the

I decided to dedicate my career, -my life

police station in a mink coat and shades, a

even- to create art from a feminine point

damaged, but badass survivor of poverty

of view. My goal: to empower women with

and sexual abuse? Me, I cannot see one

my designs. I am now past the age that

without the other. Because as soon as I

Billie had when she passed away (44, so

started listening to her music as a teen, I

young!) and I have lost count of the times

realized that Billie had taken all her pain,

I have called ‘too much’ in my life. As a

anger and sadness and transformed them

working-class girl, I was ‘too ambitious’, as

into music: songs that can make you fall

an artist and designer, ‘too pretentious’. My

in love and break you heart. Like Mexican

skirts have been too short, my heels too

painter Frida Kahlo, she had turned broken

high, my opinions expressed too loudly.

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