Page 1


FORMING THE IDEAL PERSPECTIVE FOR TEENAGERS

KERRY GIRLING


Dedicated to All the teenagers I haven’t yet inspired


Table of Contents Introduction .............................................................................................. 1 Chapter One – Self-image......................................................................... 9 Chapter Two – Influence ........................................................................ 17 Chapter Three – Abuse, turmoil and hardship ....................................... 22 Chapter Four - Aligning a healthier self-image through a Positive focus28 Chapter Five– Understanding what you want ........................................ 33 Chapter Seven – Visualizing your ideals ................................................. 47 Chapter Eight–Appreciating what you already have .............................. 54 Chapter Nine – Taking advantage of the opportunities ......................... 59 Chapter Ten – You are the Director........................................................ 67 Chapter Eleven – Building your Karma bank .......................................... 70 Chapter Twelve – The origin of your beliefs........................................... 72 Chapter Thirteen – You are more than you were led to Believe ........... 79 Chapter Fourteen – Accepting life for what it is .................................... 86 Chapter Fifteen – Living in the moment ................................................. 96 Ten factors to help you find your inner bliss: ....................................... 101


Atelphobia; the fear of not being good enough


Introduction We are all searching for the exact same things in life. We all want to be successful. We all want to shine in the limelight of our best selves. We all wish to evoke on a mission that will fulfill our passions. We all want to be befriended by those who treat us fairly; those who strive to help us achieve our dreams and aspirations. In fact, every human being on the planet is searching for the path of righteousness that'll lead to true wholesome happiness. This is something that we all have in common. The problem is; there are too many negative variables in the realm that persuades us in the opposite direction. Although we are all striving to be happier people, we find ourselves completely off the path of refined happiness quite a few times in our lives. From birth till death these negative variables come and go. They discriminate against ourselves in more than one way, leading our minds to generate self-pity and a lowered esteem rather than encouraging us to be our best selves. We often see our lives as the exact opposite of happy. We are provoked daily to search outwardly to find happiness rather than searching for it within our own mindset. We are told from the very beginning that happiness can be bought in a store. Television ads have literally brainwashed us to search for happiness online. We then spend our every waking moment to achieving this great success because it has been ingrained in our minds. We read magazines and literature that 1


focusses solely on fake-filled happiness. The kind you see literally every financially successful individual pursuing. Even our role models; the people we look up to. The people we aspire to. They too share the exact same shallow image of success. They paint a picture of it through flashy wealth, fast cars, big houses, sparkling diamonds and stacks of cash. The unfortunate truth to all of this is that it's only leading you towards unhappiness; exactly the opposite of where we truly want to be in life.

There's literally a plethora of variables that determine our path of happiness. These variables come in the form of heightened anticipation derived from physical things. We see other people harnessing these qualities which only generates feelings of weakness and instability. We feel inferior to these people because their outside reflection mirrors what we believe is true happiness. Unfortunately, we are blindly led all throughout our lives to search for these physical things because we know no different. Even our parents and siblings reflect the exact same appeal towards materialism. The problem is; during our entire pursuit to finding happiness we fail to understand ourselves; who we are and what we are actually searching for. We become lost in our minds when we realize that our pursuit was entirely out of the line of ideal happiness. We see that all of these materialistic things that we achieved are now either outdated or we have become bored of them, or simply sold them. As we’ve become adults we've lost complete sense of our spiritual side. Our own initiatives led us into this deceitful predicament. We see that it was our own individual choices that led us to where and who we are 2


today (as adults). We become jaded not only from all the negativity in our surroundings but from the lack of our own positive lifestyle choices. We learn to understand that neither of our influences who persuaded this negatively are no longer a part of our existence. This generates a fine level of uncertainty in ourselves. It makes us feel weak and defeated. In the end, the majority of us are just unhappy people. The reality is; we all have an equal opportunity to become uniquely satisfied with who we are as individuals. We all harness the capability of achieving great successes but we learn later in life that success cannot be generated in physical form. It can only come from within. We have every talent inside of us to fulfill our every passion. Every characteristic needed to pursue our ambitions are already present, yet we allow outside influence to determine whether we use these talents and characteristics altogether. Even though every individual harnesses every aspect of happiness in our own minds we fail to understand this until much later in life. It's truly unfortunate to see that most of us are searching in the exact opposite direction of what makes us truly happy people. Aside from the physical components of success we often fall victim to the associations of negativity. Our disbelief in ourselves weighs heavily on our ambitious side. We lose our imagination long before adulthood because we've let the negativity seep into our morals, values, and beliefs. In fact, this very negativity is the reason behind our unhappiness. We fail to understand ourselves because we get lost in the complex nature of the negative aspects of our everyday experiences. 3


Our goals and dreams are swept away by a simple comment made by another person, only to replace our perspective with a fake version of reality. All of these variables paint a solid picture of an impossible pursuit of happiness. War and violence and hate crimes are all a reflection of how negative we have enlisted our talents and ambitions. It's really a sad sight to see. If we were only to find the true wealth that surrounds our everyday footsteps we would be much happier people. The true wealth is found in quality time spent with our loved ones, associating ourselves with people who are in line with our values and beliefs, focussing less on the financial and more on our spirituality, and giving to others. In fact, these very non-physical things are the exact definition of what's truly important in life. They are pertinent to our happiness. They are the true undisputed components that are often taken for granted. They are usually looked at as wishy-washy, fake and unimportant. Yet they are truly the most important factors of finding ourselves. Unfortunately, most of the population doesn't see it this way. I won't hide the fact that money and materialism do in fact generate a fine line of happiness. But they surely aren't capable of delivering longlasting happiness in abundance. They aren't geared towards serving a smile on your face for more than a slight moment in time. Yes, money is an integral part of society. It's been bred into our minds as a necessity much like every other life staples such as water and shelter. Literally, everything we see, do or touch has some financial component attached to it. Money is our way of life. But, when you look into the situation a lot 4


closer you'll come to realize that after all of our life necessities are taken care of; a roof over our head, food on the table and the like, neither of us truly needs an abundance of money or materialism. It's really the exact opposite of what we were led to believe. More is actually less. Our role models have worked towards achievement in almost every way yet they are still unhappy people. Even though they drive flashy cars, own more than one dwelling, and they have more money in their back pockets than we have in our bank account, they’ve realized that neither of this stuff is pertinent to living a happy life. In fact, those who seek happiness through materialism are truly the unhappiest. It isn't until we see the other side of the equation; those who generate happiness through altruistic behavior; those who see beyond the limitations of plastic nonsense, and those who have found ideal happiness through other more mindful ways that we understand that happiness isn't derived through physical form. Each of these variables determine the rate of our happiness. They are clear-cut forms of what's not important in life. In fact, since before we could even speak a word, before we even knew how to find ourselves, we were led to believe this unfortunate tale that happiness can be bought in a store. Our minds were tainted from the very beginning. We never even had a chance to develop our own image of happiness because we were persuaded otherwise by people we care for and believe in. Even our passions and ambitions were persuaded negatively through the eyes of unrealistic achievement. Even though it's clear to see that we will be happier people simply by giving to others, we still 5


maintain a steady focus on the physical realm of fantasy. Even though we’ve witnessed altruism through some of the great achievers like Anthony Robbins, Mother Teresa, and the like, and through all the altruistic initiatives of people in our surroundings, we've failed to rewire the Nero linguistic associations to the physical wants in our brains.Flashy things are just more appealing to the eye I guess. The truth is; the only way to understand whether our initiatives are focussed on a proper path to ideal happiness is to search within ourselves. This very exercise is so important in the realm of being happy. Unfortunately, very few of us take the initiative to get to know ourselves because our minds have been so tainted in the past. We have generated an insufficient perspective of ourselves because we have been let down so many times before. Although the majority of us are very self-centered as it is, we focus on unhealthy factors that make up our mindset. Rather than focusing on the possibilities, we focus on an impossible form of happiness; through physical things. It isn't until you search within yourself that you will understand what's truly needed to provide long-lasting happiness. Happiness truly only comes from within. Within these pages, you will learn to view your own reality in an entirely different perspective that has never been taught in the regular school curriculum. You will learn to understand yourself in an entirely different way than you ever knew before. You will finally come to terms with your own existence. This in itself will generate insurmountable results in every realm of your life. The truth is; the only thing stopping you from living a life filled with abundant happiness is your own mindset. When 6


you come to your own conclusion that you are in charge of your own level of happiness you will adapt to a healthier perspective of your own reality, as long as you stay dedicated to the material in this book.

7


“If you're looking for that one person that'll change your life, look into the mirror.�

8


Forming the Ideal Perspective

Chapter One – Self-image Self-image is the underlying factor of any and all types of success. Regardless of how positive you are towards your experiences, if you harness an unhealthy self-image you're destined for failure. It doesn't matter how aggressive you are in your pursuit towards happiness, if you constantly view yourself as inadequate you will only receive inadequacies from the universe. Your life will be quite redundant and mediocre if you continue to enlist your mindset down a path of deceit. If however, you view yourself as a confident, smart, capable and happy individual then the universe will provide opportunities and make it easier for you to become a truly happy person. Those who find their passions and stick to fulfilling them will never work another day for the rest of their lives because their efforts will not feel like work. Passion seekers who believe in themselves will succeed well beyond those who consistently doubt themselves. In order to instill success into one’s life, this individual must have certainty and a direct inner confidence about their talents, plus they must harness a belief in themselves that they are capable of accomplishing what they set their mind to. There are numerous times where outside influence negatively affects our judgements about ourselves and the goals we set out to achieve. This taunts us to discredit ourselves. We start to disbelieve our morals and values which directly 9


Kerry Girling undermines our beliefs. All too often, even just a single simple comment made from another individual can swell into our belief system forcing us to doubt ourselves for long enough, bringing our self-confidence down to an unhealthy level. This ultimately determines the faith in ourselves, and it determines whether we continue on our journey, or if we choose to let it go. Believing in oneself is the single most important fundamental in achieving anything. Nobody ever achieved anything through a lack of belief in themselves. That's contradictory in so many ways actually. In order to fulfill your greatest desires you need to instill a healthy level of confidence. This will be explained more in-depth in future chapters. Without a healthy self-image, you're destined for failure. Sometimes our self-image shifts day-by-day depending upon how many challenges we foresee. We have seen in literally every great achiever; he or she has instilled a great level of confidence in themselves. We have also seen these very same people fail at any given time due to the lack of their self-confidence. Take Tiger Woods for example; he is and always has been a great golfer. His game was ultimately led by attaining the very thought that he what is the very best in his field. In fact, he went into great depths, including numerous goalsetting practices to attain a high level of positive thinking towards his mission of being the best. Although there were plenty of times his negative judgements of himself led him to become defeated, there were very few times he wasn’t able to grasp his confidence. This is what ultimately led him to be the best in his field.

10


Forming the Ideal Perspective Every single day he awoke, and during almost every trivial responsibility he overtook he believed in himself. He would imagine himself already achieving his goal months even years prior to achieving it. He would imagine himself on the golf course, even when he was sitting in his own bedroom, taking on some of the greatest golf opponents. I wouldn't be surprised if he dreamed about it at night too. But, every thought he harnessed through the day was positive in nature, especially during his golf practices. He never allowed any negativity; any outside influence to affect his judgement and perception of being the best in his field. This is truly why he brought his dreams to fruition. As you can see, Tiger Woods is a primary example of success. He has achieved in almost every possible way in his field. We have all seen that his accomplishments became a reality because he applied his passion and mixed it with an inner desire to be the best he can be. Going back to Tiger Woods practices. Yes, he was thorough in his physical approach to golf. I'm sure he was at the driving range for hours daily. I'm sure he worked out at the gym for an hour or two as well. I'm sure he even went into the depths of playing around or two every day he awoke. But, the single most important factor in all of his achievements was that he maintained a positive and healthy mindset literally all the time. There is an abundance of factors associated with failure. But, not a single one of them is as detrimental to you as a negative self-image. The most unfortunate reality is that very few human beings even try to maintain a positive self-image. 11


Kerry Girling Neither of us is even capable of being positive 100% of the time. It's literally impossible. There's usually something; some type of obstacle in our minds at any given time that's weighing us down. That's why it's so important to embrace and instill positive thinking in your regime. If you were to take any wisdom from this book this would be it.The self-image is a significant portion of your overall well-being. If it isn't tended to it'll lay wayside to your failures. It's a very common trait for adults to harness negative baggage from their past. It's inevitable that each of us will succumb to our fair share of negativity. Many of our experiences are silver lined with negativity actually. This only takes us away from living in the moment or spending quality time with people we love. Life in itself is a self-fulfilling prophecy; although we aim to maintain a steady pursuit towards our initiatives, sometimes our pursuit takes us away from the things that are truly important in life. That’s why it’s so important to intertwine positive thinking into your regime. All in all, our experiences engrave our beliefs and shape our morals and values. Our experiences are the biggest influence in our lives. Without a healthy self-image, your emotional state will fall to the weigh side. Often times, adults take even the simplest realm of negativity from their past and allow it to interlace into their overall perspective of reality. They let it dwindle their mindset down to nothing. This ultimately leads them to immense failure. It leads them towards a life filled with mediocrity. Something nobody wishes upon themselves.

12


Forming the Ideal Perspective The self-image is a lot more complex than one would imagine. It has many different responsibilities. Aside from being the mentor of your initiatives, it is the deciding factor amongst all of your achievements. It directs your emotional state. It predicts whether you will be successful. In addition, it calculates your opportunities like a mathematical equation. If it's running at an optimal pace it will align your initiatives with success, whereas, if you constantly feed it with negativity, it'll ensure it keeps your experience on earth in line with your negative thoughts. Unfortunately, this world is filled with a lot of chaos, turmoil and negativity. Each of our experiences is filled with negative factors. These qualities discussed in this book aren’t taught in the regular school curriculum. There's actually very little teachings in the realm of passion finding and finding ourselves in conventional education. That's the true obvious reason behind the initiatives in writing this book. The truth is; every experience we deal with, regardless of who you are, is instilled with negative qualities. It really all depends on how you look at any given situation. This will surely determine your outcome. Each of our experiences is filled with both positive and negative aspects. And the only true way we judge our experiences; whether they are positive or negative, is through our reaction to it. Obviously, a healthy self-image will transpire more positive belief. Whereas, a negative selfimage will only lead the individual down the path of mediocrity. The truth is; it's your choice and responsibility as an individual to look at

13


Kerry Girling every given situation in a positive way. Otherwise, you will just be unhappy.

Self-image = vibrational frequency If your self-image is in line with a positive perspective your mind and body will operate at a higher frequency. Scientists have proven over the years that the cells in our body never stop moving. As long as they're alive they are kicking and vibrating at various frequencies. Positive thoughts generate higher frequencies. Negative thoughts generate lower frequencies. When your mindset is in line with positivity your body will ultimately generate a higher frequency which will match the opportunities you receive in life. Vibrational frequency is an underlining term in the realm of the law of attraction. When you are operating at an optimal frequency range you will be aligned with other individuals who are operating at the same or near frequency range. Our vibrational frequency range determines which types of opportunities are presented in our lives. As you look into your past you will see that all throughout your life, regardless of the stage, your self-image reflected the quality of experience. You will see that your direct influences; the people who were involved in those experiences, were exactly in line with the way you felt about yourself. For example, during times in life when you had a heightened sense of self-pity you hung around with lower quality individuals; people who thought low of themselves. But, when you were confident and felt high about yourself your outside influence was filled 14


Forming the Ideal Perspective with positive qualities. This ultimately led you to experience happier, successful and more loving experiences. Your thoughts about yourself are a direct reflection of the quality of experience you have in this lifetime. The best practises you can align into your own daily regimen is a positive thought. Regardless of the activity, or where you are in your life, as long as you can align positive thoughts within the experience you will be in line with happiness. It is only when you doubt yourself when you succumb to failure. Those who strive for a positive path and stay consistent with positive thought will achieve greatness. Those who continue to dwell in their own self-pity are snails in the pursuit and the eyes of success. Think of every human being as a radio tower. Each of us is operating at a different frequency range. The rule is; each individual is only allowed to interact with other radio towers whose frequency range is similar. Those operating at higher frequencies automatically generate better opportunities and better relationships. Whereas, those operating at a lower frequency, they generate the opposite. This law of vibrational frequency is as perfect as any other mathematical formula. Those who take this for granted are those who fail to meet their own expectations. There are a variety of ways that one can increase their self-image. All of which will be described in later chapters. The most important factor is understanding where your own self-image is operating at.

15


Kerry Girling

“The surest way to lose your self-image is to find it through the eyes of other people.�

16


Forming the Ideal Perspective

Chapter Two – Influence It is our own individual obligation and responsibility to fulfill our own happiness. What's rarely ever equated into the mix is that our reaction to our experiences is heavily weighted on other people's perspectives. The people we associate with harness negative qualities too. Thus, their influence upon us taints our perspective with negativity. Each of us has come across negative influences along our righteous path. Whether we like to admit it or not, each of us has had a friend or two who we wouldn't even think of bringing home to our parents. These types of people expel negative energy on most occasions. They are definitely not the type of individuals we tell about our goals because their negativity only leads us towards doubting ourselves. But, regardless of how negative they are, we continue to intertwine them into our everyday experiences. You will see a direct reflection of quality within your experiences strictly based off of the quality of individuals you incorporate into your life. You can never label anyone as 100% positive or 100% negative because each of us is capable of serving both. In fact, even the most deceitful individuals; people like Hitler and Stalin, even they too harnessed positive qualities. Distinguishing whether an individual is a positive or a negative influence isn't only decided in their overall approach to life, it sometimes comes down to just one or two instances that showed they’re incapable of being a quality player. 17


Kerry Girling The lack of support and negative energy that some of our poorest friendship choices expel is enough to say they serve no purpose in our lives anymore. The best trait we harness that helps us define our influences is our gut instinct. Unfortunately, it’s often overlooked and taken for granted especially if we harness a low self-image. Our response to any given experiences is directly impacted by our perspective. Our perspective is heavily impacted by our belief system and through our values and morals. Our influences are also a big part of the equation. Often times, the people we associate with persuade our perspective in a negative path. We've all been duped by people who we thought were in favour of our happiness. It's inevitable that each of us will experience hardship through our associations. The unfortunate truth in the realm is that neither of us experiences life through anybody else's shoes. We see what we experience, and we experience what we see, not what everybody else experiences. The only life we live is our own. This means that we are all in an individual pursuit of our own happiness. We aren't necessarily focussed on helping other people achieve happiness. How could we? We experience lives entirely differently. Each of us is in our own individual pursuit of happiness. Neither of our paths is congruent to one another. In fact, there are a plethora of different paths that each of us can take in life, all leading to their own individual playing field of happiness. Although all paths will lead us to a slightly different reality, in the end, there's a fine line between both positive and negative qualities within each path of choice. It's your own 18


Forming the Ideal Perspective individual choice to choose which path you will take. This all boils down to the level and commitment of your own self-image and the choice of people you associate with. Everything else is based on personal preference. As stated earlier, you can get a clear understanding of whether your associations are in line with your values and beliefs simply by listening to your gut instinct. This is one characteristic you do not want to lose belief in because it offers so many powerful insights to who you are. Generally, if someone encourages you to fulfil your ambitions. If they’re always there for you when you need them. If they listen, encourage you and allow you to share your goals with them, then there’s a good chance they’re a positive influence. However, if they always reek with negativity when you associate with them. If they always seem to find something negative about what you have to say, or if they bring you down in your pursuit of happiness then they are a negative influence. There's nothing more powerful than a team of positive thinkers. When you associate yourself with positive people you will transpire a whole new realm of happiness. If however, you surround yourself with negative influences your life will be the in the hands of detrimental figures. The most unfortunate part is that most of us learn we were in the footsteps of a negative influence only after we’ve been taken advantage of. People come and go in our lives all the time. There are many quality individuals we came across, probably just as many in the negative realm. Your current friendship circle is a direct reflection of your self19


Kerry Girling image. Whether you've realized it yet or not, your friends were formed from a combination of how you see yourself and how you see reality. It all comes down to perspective. You yourself have a responsibility to shape a better self-image; to formulate a better perspective of yourself and the way you see reality. Doing so will ultimately lead you towards a happier life. Whether you want to get better grades, harness more fulfilling relationships, get a better job, or anything in between, when you associate yourself with better quality people and form a healthier perspective, you will ultimately achieve a happier way of living.

20


Forming the Ideal Perspective

“Be proud of whom you are and not ashamed by the way others see you.”

21


Kerry Girling

Chapter Three – Abuse, turmoil and hardship There are an abundance of limiting factors that contribute to our failures. Some of the most difficult things to get through are derived through our hardships, dealing with traumatic experiences and through bullying. These few factors in itself can be the difference between living happy-filled lives, or living in despair. Regardless of who you are, where are you are from, what culture, race or background, each of us have gone through our fair share of turmoil. There are numerous ways we lose sense of ourselves. It often comes down to how many trials have taken over your mentality. It has only been a decade and a half since humanity has garnered a focal point on bullying and its long-lasting negative effects. The truth is; each of us have been bullied; verbally, physically, mentally or sexually. These negative experiences have led us to lower the image we host of ourselves. It's made us develop hatred, remorse and filled us with disbelief. Even the smaller instances; the small nasty negative comments, they too are detrimental to our psyche. If these nasty mental images persist in our minds there is only a very small chance we will ever rebuild a healthy self-image.

Self-limiting beliefs and suffering from abuse It doesn’t matter what type of lifestyle one lives, or what culture he is brought up in, it doesn’t even matter who his influences are, each of us 22


Forming the Ideal Perspective harness negative self-defeating beliefs about ourselves at times. These negative self-defeating thoughts not only keep us from living our dreams, they also keep us from enjoying the current moment, and eliminate all possibilities of becoming enlightened. These beliefs reside within us through our past experiences. In fact, each experience we’ve lived has helped shape our personalities. An infinite amount of factors contribute to our beliefs. As mentioned, our beliefs are changing daily with each experience we live through. These factors range in form and come at random to each of us, making our lives completely different from one and other. Negative beliefs create reciprocating negative thoughts within our minds. These thoughts create invisible limitations that cause disbelief and inner sadness. They rape us from any type of satisfaction and inner happiness. They, in fact, cause a slow death within us over time. Some of the most common defeating thoughts that reside in our minds are brought on by abuse. In fact, many of our limiting beliefs occurred in our youthful years – in elementary school, high school, or even in college. During these years, we were opened up to society in a completely different form. By accepting the social environment around us, we became educated, found jobs and even grew families. During this time, we went through various experiences that included interaction with other people. Even though, the majority of these experiences were positive in nature (from our own perspectives), we also went through negative experiences in the form of bullying and unwanted abuse. This abuse came in the form of verbal comments, physical and mental abuse. 23


Kerry Girling Many times, these negative experiences caused us to become angry with the world and we became frightened of others, which only generated more self-defeating thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. Over time, these negative beliefs strengthened in our minds, making it rather difficult for us to move forward in a positive direction. Bullying is an issue that humans have been dealing with for Centuries. My father, his father, even my great Grandfather was bullied. We all go through it. Some experience it in school as a youthful teenager, while others experience it at home in a nasty relationship. Neither of us are immune to it. It happens in the workplace, it happens at soccer practice and it also happens to the people that you'd least expect. I've touched quite a bit on this subject in The First Chapter and within my presentations, but I always make it a point to direct a focus on this topic because it's an issue that everyone faces at some point in their lives. Bullying is a term that is commonly misconceived. Even though, it's generally a common term used on the playground at school, it's something that every child and every adult will experience within their lives. Bullying is much more than just a random playground miss-hap, it’s something that tears apart a person’s confidence. It rapes us of our courage and it leads to most illnesses and crimes. Bullying is no different than assault or harassment. I've seen bullying happen at schools and within my own family. I've even experienced it myself many times. Bullying is like a plague that keeps circulating society. It generates quickly and it can set you back instantly. If nothing is done about it there

24


Forming the Ideal Perspective are serious risks of mental problems and health issues. It’s something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. I've spoken to a countless amount of grown adults that have such a low confidence in themselves because of bullying they experienced as early as when they were in middle school, and they still haven’t dealt with it. It has eaten away at them for most of their lives. It's something that doesn’t easily go away. It stays with a person well into adulthood. Some people even take their troubles of bullying to their deathbed. Additional challenges can take place when a person has been bullied on a continuous basis. In fact, I've witnessed bullying tear apart entire communities. In addition to all of the common side effects that bullying has, it can lead to diseases and death. As mentioned, we all experience it but very few of us do anything about the damage that it has caused. Even though bullying may have caused damage to you, there is still hope. The damage that has been done can be eliminated with a proper focus. Bullying can have serious psychological effects on a person. It can be detrimental to their life plan and can eat away at a person’s mind for years. The feelings that you get after being bullied consist of guilt, blame, anger, frustration, sadness and a ton of other various negative emotions. If a person keeps their saddened feelings within themselves for too long their imagination starts to fade away slowly along with other important pieces that help us develop proper brain functioning. This all leads to a defeated mindset. When a person is mentally defeated, it’s virtually impossible to seek any form of enlightenment. In 25


Kerry Girling fact, the more negativity that dwells inside a person, the harsher it is to reveal the true inner potential of this person. Eliminating abuse within a person’s life will drastically increase their self-worth. It will help increase their confidence and it will make them feel more important to society. Having a healthy self-image will empower those to make healthier choices. Everyone has positive qualities about them that make them unique to society. It’s time to start looking at these positive qualities in more positive light and address appreciation towards them. To be truly enlightened one needs to be one hundred percent confident in themselves. Any self-defeating thoughts will take away from the satisfaction one would feel during the process to enlightenment. In fact, the present moment cannot be enjoyed unless one eliminates all forms of self-defeating thoughts and beliefs about themselves altogether. It’s simply impossible to achieve enlightenment without owning up to a positive mindset. Our experiences and the way we respond to them are directly related to our quality of influence and the way we perceive ourselves. It's been said that a person is the sum of his closest influences. This means that an individual is no greater than who he hangs around with. It's true; the only way you can generate a better more fulfilling life is if we associate ourselves around quality individuals. The only way we can be better with anything is if we breed positive thought towards our futures. The only way you can develop more quality thoughts is to force yourself to eliminate the negative influence in your life.

26


Forming the Ideal Perspective

“A strong and positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in your life.�

27


Kerry Girling

Chapter Four - Aligning a healthier selfimage through a Positive focus The most common excuse heard about why people don't set goals is because they don't have confidence in themselves. They feel their goals are merely a letdown. They’re afraid to accomplish them because they’ve experienced failure in abundance in the past. Lack of confidence happens to be a widespread issue amongst humanity. The good news is; confidence can be developed. People have literally moved mountains with their initiatives when operating at a healthy level of confidence. I remember acquaintances in high school who were severely shy and timid, barely able to strike up a conversation. Now they're running their own companies and masters of communication. Their actions have proven that confidence is nearly a state of mind that can be altered with practice. Even I lack confidence from time to time, but after I learned a valuable technique to bring it back I was right back in the game of writing goals and fulfilling my ambitions. There are a variety of exercises available to those who wish to increase their confidence. One of the best methods ever implemented is a Positive focus. This single application, if applied properly, will be a game-changer in the aftermath of fulfilling your dreams.

28


Forming the Ideal Perspective The more confident you are when writing your goals means a clearer image of what you want to accomplish. When you’re happy and confident it’s easier to tap into your imagination, thus making it easier to accomplish the things that really matter to you. A Positive Focus will help you gain all of this. It is suggested to do a Positive focus before writing your goals. This will encourage you to believe in yourself. A positive focus is a strategy that focuses on all your recent accomplishments. It helps build your confidence and gets you in the mood to write your goals. So get a pad of paper and a pen. Let's get started. The technique: Dissect a piece of paper in three categories – three months, six months, and long-term. Label them at the top. Now, visualize all your past accomplishments in the respective time frame and write at least three down in each category. Sometimes it can be difficult thinking back into your past, especially the positive things because our brains are hardwired to focus more so on the negative aspects of our lives. But with a steady focus, you'll come up with at least three in each category. Think long and hard of all of your recent accomplishments – big or small. If you’re having a difficult time searching for them enlist a trusted friend to help you brainstorm. Once you list your recent accomplishments it'll help you bring your confidence to where it needs to optimally be. This will, in turn, allow you to focus on your long-term goals; your overall perspective of your happiness. This exercise will kick start your confidence back in the right 29


Kerry Girling direction. Once you’ve completed your positive focus, the next step is to start writing your goals. I recommend doing a positive focus every six months. This will keep you on track of a healthy self-confidence, and it will allow you to feel good about the good things you've done. Plus, it'll help you tap into your imagination, enabling you to think more in-depth about what you need to accomplish to fulfill your happiness. When you see yourself in healthier terms you’ll start to perceive everything around you in positive terms. Life is filled with so many positive things, yet all too often we generate hatred and boredom towards our surroundings. We tend to see only the negative qualities. Life itself feels like a never-ending cycle of failure. We see it this way because we've been bred to see only the weaknesses. If we were to shift our perspective towards a healthier state of mind we would bask in the glory of all our enjoyable moments. We would be able to actually live in the moment and appreciate what we were given; the very act of life, rather than constantly dwelling upon our defeats. A positive focus will encourage you to operate at your most optimal state. People are usually focussed on their inequalities rather than on the happiness they already harness. They've been duped so many times before, now their entire perspective of life is jaded. Although obvious in so many ways, their happiness is weakened by their blindness of their own talents. In other words, they've failed to find their happiness because it already resides inside of them. If they were to persuade themselves to focus on the things they've already accomplished they 30


Forming the Ideal Perspective would be better off and living a satisfied life. Their tainted mindset leads them exactly opposite of where they wish to be. Happiness resides within us, not from an outside source. It's intertwined in our experiences with other people, not derived from materialistic nonsense. When you look back at all the fun and positive accomplishments and experiences you’ve been a part of you'll come to realize you have a lot more happiness inside of you than you thought you actually did.

31


Kerry Girling

“What consumes your mind controls your life.�

32


Forming the Ideal Perspective

Chapter Five– Understanding what you want Understanding what you want in life can be a lot trickier than it sounds. Many of us have no clue what we want in life even into our adult years. In fact, studies have proven that millennial's are on the path to encompass around 10 different career choices. The days where an individual would work at a company for 25+ years is unheard of. Plus, there are literally twenty times the amount of career choices compared to twenty years ago. This means there is a multitude of different choices in the spectrum, making it more confusing. Just like going to a restaurant that has a complicated menu with a variety of tailored options, your life is no different; it can be extremely difficult to order what you want. There are so many different options in regards to achievement. The truth is; neither of us wants the exact same thing, nor do we experience remotely similar experiences. Although we may feel the exact same emotions, and we may go through similar amounts of tribulations, neither of us have the exact same characteristic compound when it comes to things we want in life. Having a steady and direct approach to fulfilling your desires is a big part of being happy. A man is never satisfied when he has no sense of direction. He will never be satisfied with his life until he finds an arena to unleash his talents. Even though boredom can sometimes be

33


Kerry Girling appealing, nobody is fully satisfied when they are just sitting there unwinding their mindset. There are plenty of people in their late 40s and 50s who still don't know what they want. There are people who have tried twenty different career choices and still don’t know what they want. There are people who never find what they're looking for. These are the types of people who never try to find what they're looking for in life. You need to look within yourself to find the answers. Often times, we look to find ourselves through the eyes of other people. We see their accomplishments and the smiles on their faces but we fail to understand what actually put it there in the first place. Literally, everyone you see is projecting a fake reality of what actually is. Everybody perceives everything completely differently when you get down to the bottom of it. Each of us displays a different persona based on the way we perceive reality. Being that our perceptions are entirely different from the next person means that neither of us is searching for the exact same things. There are only two qualities that each of us share 100% of the time. We are all searching for happiness and neither of us wants to suffer. There are so many differentiating factors in the equation of finding happiness. Being that each of us wants something different it makes it difficult to find what we are individually looking for in life. Is it freedom? Is it money? Is it faith? Is it more time spent with quality people and those we love? Is it our passions? What will bring us happiness? These

34


Forming the Ideal Perspective questions can only be answered individually; from an individual perspective. It can only be answered by you, my friend. In order to understand what we want we need to understand our values and beliefs. Yes, we all look similar. We all go through the same amount of negativity. We even learn the same amount of lessons within a respectable amount of time frame. There are plenty of things that outwardly look similar with respect to our happiness, but our ambitions couldn’t be further from the same when it comes to finding our happiness. The only true known method of understanding ourselves more clearly is through spirituality. You can get to know yourself better than you’ve ever known yourself by spending ten minutes into your mindset. Spirituality is such an expressive word. Just saying it scares off a lot of people. Spirituality has the same mental magnitude as the term religion. Both happen to scare off a lot of people, especially in the modern day, where religion doesn't have the same positive meaning as it used to. Although your perception of spirituality may be similar to your beliefs of religion, spirituality is quite a bit different. Both allow the practicer to find a deeper meaning. Both are taught through fundamental practises lead by great achievers. The most important difference is that it isn't dictated by only one individual perspective. Spirituality encompasses many additional fundamentals that can’t be found in traditional religion. You don’t need to physically visit a place of worship to tap into your spirituality. You can tap into your spiritual side through reading, exercise, or by just sitting there. You can do it from 35


Kerry Girling your own home. One of the most appealing aspects is that you can incorporate a multitude of various religious practises into the mix. You can pick-and-choose which ones reflect your beliefs the most. You can create your own religion mixed with a variety of different religions. It really all comes down to finding the practices that incorporate a higher feeling of inner peace. Finding a need for spirituality is the first step in understanding yourself. You will never know what you’re looking for until you find out. When the student is ready to learn the teacher will be there. There are so many different analogies that can explain this important concept. The truth is; you need to want to learn about yourself in order to actually do it. Without the desire to make it happen it's simply will not be accomplished. When the master of his life finds his passionate side he is fulfilled. There isn't a more powerful feeling in this world than when an individual finds what he's looking for. Not skydiving nor bungee jumping or anything in between. Not even the most extreme sport can give us the exact same feeling. The true heightened awareness of one's individual meaning is the most valuable possession he can attain. When he does find what he is looking for he’ll realize that he had it all within himself the entire time. It doesn't matter how deep you jump into the rabbit hole. When you get to know yourself you’ll understand that happiness resides in your mind every single moment in time. The only thing taking away from your individual happiness is your own mindset. Yes, our minds have been 36


Forming the Ideal Perspective tainted throughout the years. We’ve been programmed to look for happiness in department stores and through succumbing to hordes of materialistic things. Commercials on your television set constantly tell you that happiness will run through your veins when you swipe your credit card. This couldn't be further from the truth. Happiness resides inside of you already. You just need to find it. It's written in thousands of books and relayed by all the greats who ever became; happiness is all a part of your imagination. There will always be pessimistic people who doubt these beliefs. They will persuade you to doubt yourself about it too. Happiness is a reaction to the experiences you attract. It doesn't come from anything anyone can give you. You are the master of its domain. Finding yourself is really the only way you will understand what you are looking for. The catch 22 part of it all is that finding yourself is an ongoing process. We are constantly changing our minds towards what we believe or feel we need at any given time. Our minds are swayed back-and-forth almost on a daily basis. We are often persuaded by other people to look in the opposite direction. Our coworkers, friends, and people in our own families, they persuade us to believe otherwise. We allow these people to affect the way we see ourselves. This only brings us back to square one. It brings us to think we aren't as good as what we thought we were once. We then give up on ourselves. You are only going to be a better person if you start believing in yourself. You can make this happen by tapping into your spiritual self. By taking a few minutes daily you can truly get to know yourself. Doing 37


Kerry Girling this will not only teach you what you want, but it'll allow you to reflect on the things you know you don't really want.

“You have within you right now everything you need to overcome what the universe throws at you.�

38


Forming the Ideal Perspective

Chapter Six – Risk factor

More and more people these days are resorting to less formal educational applications in pursuit of their career search. Fewer are delving into the traditional post-secondary portion of their education to find what they’re looking for. This equates to the vast array of new-age alternatives in the realm of possibilities. Yes, education is highly important in the realm of achievement but the countless amount of billionaire drop-outs have proven the theory that formal education isn't pertinent to achieve success. Plus, the new-age millennial have enlisted a plethora of new online practices that have dominated and literally revolutionized the way we do business. No longer do you need a doctorate to achieve high realms of financial opportunities. Besides, often times there isn't a traditional form of education offered in the education system for many of these modern careers. Now, this isn't equating the obvious benefits that traditional education provides. The Public, Catholic, even the private sector of formal education offers many great benefits to anyone who enlists themselves. This includes a variety of different factors. Our education system helps to define a healthy attitude. It promotes healthy lifestyles and informs its students about the history of our nation. Although, the information may not always add up, at least it encourages us to delve deeper into the meaning of life.

39


Kerry Girling What the education system does not offer is a qualified information outlet to find ourselves. It doesn’t inform us of what's truly important in life. Many people are finding these days that they need to search outside of conventional education because times have changed; the way we work isn't like it was 25 years ago. In fact, a lot of the education we are used to relying on is outdated and isn't even applied in today's regime. That's why educating yourself through other additional outlets is the most solid approach towards finding your happiness. Regardless of which education model you follow in pursuit of your dreams, true long-lasting happiness comes with a little risk taking. It comes through taking action. Although it comes through a refined way of thinking, and a steady and committed approach, the risk is another important characteristic in the spectrum of achievement. Nothing great has ever been achieved without incorporating a fine level of risk. As you look back at all of your accomplishments you will see that every one of them required a certain amount of risk on your end in order to be achieved. The same goes with each of our role models. Neither of their accomplishments could've been transpired without enlisting themselves into risky situations that required them to step out of their comfort zone. This is something that every great achiever has in common. An individual may embark himself on a mission to be a professional skateboarder. He has already witnessed his own talents early in life and invested himself in a heavy pursuit towards making it all happen. He has practiced behind the scenes literally every day, going to skate parks and 40


Forming the Ideal Perspective learning all the fundamentals of the physical sport. He becomes a master at the art. He has reached the highest pinnacle at the skate park, getting rave reviews from the other patrons, but he's still ways away from accomplishing his ideal model of success; to become a professional. If he wants to pursue the status of a professional he must embark on a much riskier playing field. He must incorporate his initiatives into local competitions to get noticed by the professionals first before he will even come close to bringing his goal to fruition. He must take action and succumb to stepping out of his comfort zone otherwise he will always only be an attraction of the skate park. Every step we take in life requires a certain amount of risk. We could get hit by a bus simply by crossing the street. We could get struck by lightning while playing a sport outside or by jumping in the puddles of our enjoyment. We could fall victim to many unfortunate incidences that lead us to become immobile and inefficient. There are a variety of outside forces that make every footstep we take risky. This in itself can be looked at as a positive thing. It means that risk is inevitable. We all go through it daily regardless of how much we rebel against it. If we were to use this very factor as motivation towards our initiatives we would excel beyond our wildest dreams, yet we continue to doubt ourselves because of our low self-image. The risk is a part of every great and worthwhile experience. It's the very beginning of every fulfilling relationship. If we hadn't had enlisted ourselves in the realm of a risky situation that took us out of our comfort zone before we introduced ourselves we wouldn't have 41


Kerry Girling generated even a slight possibility of friendship. If we hadn't gone against our fears and placed our name on the list of athletics we wouldn't have scored the game-winning goal. If we hadn't tried out for the drama club In the first place we wouldn't have made more than a decent living doing something enjoyable. The risk is a part of our everyday experiences. The quicker you can adapt to it the quicker you can become happier. The best and most honourable thing an individual can do for themselves is to take many risks. Often times, we don’t understand what we truly want in life until we fail many times. Risk brings experience. It also brings failure. No great achiever has ever amounted to anything without asserting themselves through risk-taking. Yes, they failed many times along their journey to success, however, if they hadn’t have taken the risk in the first place they wouldn’t be where they are today. It’s our experiences that teach us what we wish for, yet it’s the risks within these experiences that lead us to the initial experiences in the first place. Risk and experience go hand-in-hand. When you take many risks you gain more valuable experiences. You will fail many times as well however it’s the lessons within these failures that ultimately lead to a better understanding of ourselves. Unfortunately, very few people enlist a heavy platform of risk-taking because they fear what will happen if they fail, or because they fear stepping out of their comfort zone. The best way to gain a true perspective of the risk ahead of you is to calculate its success beforehand.

42


Forming the Ideal Perspective A calculated risk is just as it sounds. It's taking into account all the limiting factors that encourage and discourage the action and then applying them to your overall initiative. Things to consider in the realm; how expensive is this going to be? How long is it going to take me? Who do I know that can help introduce me to the industry/Sport? What’s the worst that can happen? All of these questions will help you generate a clear perspective of what lies ahead of you. Obviously, if you calculate a risk and you realize it’s going to lead you into a disastrous state of paranoia, or if it is clearly not within your budget, or if you believe it’ll only set you back, in the end, you will second-guess it and perhaps just forget it altogether. Then you’ll most likely go back to doing what you were doing before you questioned it. Some will fight every ounce of their fears not to force themselves out of their comfort zone. Some people are extremely introverted and fear the risk because it means they will need to interact with other people. Although we may not be able to fully understand all limiting factors within each situation, there are a variety of questions you can ask yourself that will lead you to determine whether a risk is rich or if it is too risky. Even if you can’t quite come to terms with your calculation, if it serves a purpose in your heart then just go for it. Yes, risk equals reward but it also leads to failure and mistakes. This is something that cannot be overlooked. The more risk you take can lead to more rewarding experiences but it also means you'll succumb to making more mistakes along the way. Generally said, "If you make a mistake make a big one because you'll learn so many more things from 43


Kerry Girling it." Yes, taking risks will take you out of your comfort zone, but that's exactly where you do your best. Your comfort zone is where complacency resides and where experience is halted. Bask in the glory every time you get the opportunity to step outside of your comfort zone. Life is monotonous at times. It can be boring and tedious as well. This is one of the best times to initiate yourself on a journey down a path you've never been. All too often we fall complacent in our footsteps because we don't find a need to try anything different. We get comfortable and forget that there are so many things we could be focussing on that'll generate happiness, yet we continue our pursuit aimed at the mistakes we’ve made along the way. This only dwindles our confidence in ourselves. There are lessons learned from every situation we go through. Life isn't only filled with the pleasant things. We get bombarded every day with annoyances form our co-workers, our friends, peers at school and our family members. There are plenty of disappointing factors that surround us every day, but that doesn't mean we need to tune our beliefs towards all the negative nonsense. Each of us has every right to take the risk in the first place because if you didn’t, who knows where you’ll actually end up? Often times, we don't understand what we want because we haven't quite experienced enough. We get bombarded by our parent's in our youth to try and understand ourselves, but they forget that we haven't experienced anything remotely close to what we are forced to enlisted

44


Forming the Ideal Perspective ourselves towards. The risk is truly the only way we can unleash our passions and understand what we truly want in life. Take many risks, my friend. Enjoy the journey when taking them. It's truly the pursuit that is the underlining factor of your happiness.

45


Kerry Girling

“Talk to yourself as though you would someone you love.”

46


Forming the Ideal Perspective

Chapter Seven – Visualizing your ideals Life is a software program that mathematically equates every aspect of our lives. There is an algorithm for it actually. It operates almost exactly the same way as Google does; the largest online search engine. This means that our minds are put together in almost the exact same way as a software platform. If you type in a request on a keyboard for a specific website Google will provide hundreds of thousands of different options for you, starting with the websites that reflect the closest to the keywords you typed. Life's algorithm works in the exact same way. In fact, Google's engineers copied this platform from just living everyday life. Your mind in software terms equates the thoughts you've been thinking about into actual physical situations. The problem with this is; when you do think in positive terms and the next day you think negatively. Each of these thoughts is intertwined with the overall spectrum of your happiness. The universe doesn't know whether your mind is in line with your ideal lifestyle at any given time. It just projects congruent realities to the thoughts you process. This is why it is immensely important to think in positive terms in line with your ideal future. There is no possible way you can know what you want without first experiencing it. This doesn't mean you need to physically experience it, it means that you need to mentally experience it.

47


Kerry Girling No defined goal can be accomplished without first seeing it in one's mindset. Without a clearly defined image of what you wish to accomplish, there's no possible way of achieving it. This part mixes into the law of attraction. Nothing of any great worth can ever come to you without first imagining it. This can be done by projecting the success of the action in your mind before it even happens. There are plenty of ways to achieve what you want simply by applying your everyday thoughts towards what you wish for. It’s important to understand how powerful your own individual thoughts are. When you realize the magnitude of them, you’ll realize that you are fully capable of unleashing an entirely different reality through them. You can start with aligning a healthier self-image. When you start seeing yourself in a more positive reflection you'll start to see a happier outside reality. When you've mastered your own reflection and your confidence is at an optimal state you can unleash so many more opportunities you never even thought were possible. Boosting your confidence is a pertinent part of it all. Confidence operating less than optimal will only drive further frustration towards your pursuit. It all starts with visualizing a healthier self-image, and by saying more positive things about yourself. Understanding what you want in life can be a tricky thing. As mentioned before, there are so many variables in the realm when it comes to aligning our happiness. It's like trying to generate foresight towards something you've never experienced before. We can only generate judgements about any given subject based on what others have 48


Forming the Ideal Perspective experienced, or if we experience it ourselves. The other, easier way to experience it, without any discrimination is to visualize it in your own mindset. Obviously, life wouldn't be that fun if we only experienced happiness through everyone else's eyes. Sadly, this is the reality for most of humanity. Due to lack of experience, nearly 95% of the entire population never fulfils their own happiness. Only 5% of the world’s population has actually flown in an airplane before. This means that very few people in the overall perspective have actually seen and witnessed what is like to experience flight at 30,000 feet above sea level. Even though we are free to roam the websites online that give us a graphic generalization towards the experience, it’ll never be as satisfying as if you were to actually experience it yourself. It's been said many times before that a picture cannot do an experience the justice that is deserved. A man is never satisfied until he finds his own purpose. This can be found through trying different things, through taking risks and just going for it. If it cannot be experienced now it’s highly recommended to visualize it in your own mindset first. Your self-image can be your best friend or your biggest deterrent when it comes to thinking ideal thoughts towards your happiness. When you master this you'll be amazed how many coincidences equate to your successes. The universe provides exactly what you ask of it, but the end result of what we receive is the aftermath of all the mixed positive and negativity that we've inflicted upon our mindset.

49


Kerry Girling A healthy self-image will allow you to align thoughts more congruent towards your ideal happiness. It’ll allow you to generate a higher frequency to operate on. This will ultimately serve you way more interesting opportunities. You don’t need to focus on all the negative things that are present in your life. You are in charge of what you bring to your mind. You are also in charge of the type of energy you expel. Being an optimal thinker goes well beyond getting to know yourself. It incorporates the level of energy in which you expel into the environment. There’s no use in operating in a negative mood. Some people harness a negative mindset from the time they wake up till the time they go to sleep at night. This serves them nothing but further negativity. There’s no need to debate things with other people till you are blue in the face. It only generates more negativity from others. Arguments will only bring you to becoming a rather negative person as well. This is why it’s so important to equate more positivity into your life. Goals, dreams, and aspirations can only be accomplished when in control of a positive mindset. It is our own individual responsibility to do our best to be our very best selves. It doesn't matter how great of a positive thinker you are if your daily actions are negative you're only going to reap further negativity. Remember, the universe provides for you exactly what you ask of it. It doesn’t matter how positive your thoughts are if your actions don’t match and they are in line with negative qualities you're only going to receive negative qualities thereafter.

50


Forming the Ideal Perspective Our actions are a direct reflection of the way we perceive ourselves and reality around us. If we are always doing negative things this means we've generated a negative image towards ourselves. If your actions have been in line with negative outcomes this means that you have been operating at a frequency well below what you're capable of. Yes, our influences help us determine our initiatives but they also persuade us to think otherwise. Often times, the easiest way to see why our actions are out of line from our ideal happiness is by taking a look at our associations. Who have you been hanging around with lately? Are they serving you the type of support a true friend does? Aside from the outside influence, we receive on the daily, the only way you can control your outcome is through the thoughts you incorporate into your mindset. You can achieve abundant ongoing positive thinking by visualizing what you wish to have happened. Every night you go to sleep and every morning you awake you can force more positive thoughts into your mind. This will encourage your actions to be on par with a congruent happiness. Imagine what you wish to have happened on a daily basis. Place an image in your mind, in great detail, of what you want to experience. When you're looking at tomorrow, ask yourself, “What are the things I wish to accomplish?” Which things are important and which ones aren't as much? Which ones can wait, and which ones can’t you wait to start? When focusing on the things that are pertinent to ideal living you will soon come to realize that your thoughts truly become things.

51


Kerry Girling Imagine your ideal fantasies actually happening right in front of you. Imagine yourself already a part of the very experience. Imagine it in as much detail as you can because the more realistic it looks in your mindset the more possible it becomes in your lifestyle. The more indepth you delve into the practice the closer you will be to actually having it in your possession. This is by far the simplest way to unleash your most imaginative vision of ideal happiness.

52


Forming the Ideal Perspective

“Your value doesn't decrease based on somebody's ability to see your selfworth.�

53


Kerry Girling

Chapter Eight–Appreciating what you already have The easiest way to put a smile on your face is to look within yourself. When you look at your more spiritual side you will soon see many great things you’ve already acquire or achieved. Things you can be grateful for. There are so many things in your life that you can appreciate. Perhaps you have already achieved many great things that other people haven't yet. Maybe you’ve helped mentor somebody who’s now living their dreams. Or, maybe you’re proud of yourself for spending more quality time with your children, more so than your friends were able to. There are plenty of things that each of us have already done or acquired in this life that we can be grateful for. Without them, we wouldn't feel nearly as complete as we are today. Being grateful for one's life is the easiest way to increase their positive outlook. It only takes a simple conversation with yourself to see where your happiness was and where it was taken away. We find happiness in the things we are grateful for. We wouldn’t have done them if they didn’t serve a smile on our face in the first place. When you jot down what you are grateful for it’ll allow you to tap into your imagination. Getting a clear perspective of your accomplishments will enable you to see how many things you’ve already acquired; things that many people only dream of achieving. Seeing this will transpire a whole new and different belief system. There’s no easier way to appreciate your life than looking at all the things you have when others have to do without. 54


Forming the Ideal Perspective If you cannot find any accomplishments to be grateful for, be sure to be grateful for the things you have but other people don’t. All in all, be grateful for your life. We often took for granted the things we used to be proud of. We overlook them because we've already generated a feeling of worth before when we achieved them. We no longer feel the sense of pride from those achievements because they are long gone in the backburner. This way of thinking will only lead you to feel defeated. Our simplest accomplishments are meant to serve us happiness for eternity. Why would we work towards achievement so much if it didn’t? You should bask in the glory of all of your previous accomplishments. Use them as leverage to equate a healthier perspective of yourself. They were accomplished for a reason; to serve you happiness. There’s no shame in being proud of what you’ve done in the past. All the negativity we have gone through has generated an unhealthy belief system. We’ve been taken advantage of by other people. I’m sure you can’t even count how many times you were wronged. The negativity in our lives outweighs the positive things, and we regret to say it, but we only focus on the negative things. This ultimately sends our lives into a downward spiral of negativity. Being grateful is a simple practice that anyone can implement. There are plenty of factors that can help you generate a feeling of gratefulness. Think of all the times where you were congratulated for your actions. Think of the instances where other people were proud to know you. Think of all the times when you sent a heart-warming expression 55


Kerry Girling towards another person where it resulted in putting a smile on their face. These are all things to be grateful for. Even if you haven’t achieved much in our life up to date, there are plenty of opportunities ahead of you that will allow you to achieve many great things. You; the director of it all need to understand that even you are grateful. How many friends of yours would say they are happy to be your friend? Do you have all the necessities for an optimal living; food on the table and a roof over your head? Do you have two hands, two feet, and a head that is capable of thinking? Then, you have everything you need to be grateful for. Now it's time to start living. Writing down your thoughts will allow you to continue your feeling of gratefulness. A written note allows you to glance at it again when you’re feeling down. In fact, one of the other great practices is to paste your grateful written note on your bathroom mirror. This way you will see it every day you awake and brush your teeth. When we are used to doing something for so long it just becomes a part of our habitual thinking. Our habits are a reflection of the way we see ourselves. Often times, the majority of our habits no longer serve us in positive terms anymore. Because they've been a part of our everyday thoughts for so long, it's tough to interlace a new way of thinking. Although it isn't impossible to completely change your entire outlook of reality, there are some simple practises that you can implement into your own life today that'll allow you to incorporate new positive values one by one. You can do this by simply writing down your thoughts.

56


Forming the Ideal Perspective Write a list of all the things you are grateful for today. Be sure to include all the commonly overlooked aspects of your relationships, the opportunities around you, and your family. The simple act of writing it down will instantly allow you to tap into your imagination. Your imagination tells you what will make you happy. I think you get the idea. If you were to be asked this question, "What are you grateful for?" and you didn't have a pad of paper and a pen you wouldn't be able to remember them. There's no better feeling than waking up and instantly feeling grateful for your life. The sad fact is that nearly 95% of the world’s population don't see it this way. From the overall generalized perspective of happiness, very few people are able to generate a long-lasting sense of it. You can drastically improve your happiness by simply tapping into what you are grateful for. Now I must bring your attention towards another important aspect of the realm; your commitment.

57


Kerry Girling

“Stop doubting yourself, work hard and make it happen!�

58


Forming the Ideal Perspective

Chapter Nine – Taking advantage of the opportunities It doesn't matter how vast your imagination is, if you don't harness a healthy self-image, there's very little chance you'll be determined enough to take on the tasks needed to accomplish your goals. Obviously, taking action is a very important fundamental in achieving anything. The truth is; our pursuit is only as efficient as our confidence. The more confident you are as an individual the more probability in achieving what you desire. You can see that, once again, it all boils down to perspective; how you see yourself and reality. There have been plenty of very talented individuals who have never experienced the level of success that some of their predecessors have achieved. This equates both lack of a healthy self-image and lack of devotion towards their goal. Those who reach out and share their ambitions toward society are those who fulfill their true ultimate desires. Those who continue to ride the wave of their previous accomplishments are those who regret their actions later in life because they didn’t strive towards the next level of accomplishment. There’s nothing wrong with looking back at an accomplishment as a means of positive reflection, but there are too many other accomplishments out there waiting for you to take advantage of them. When you are reflecting upon your previous achievements be sure to

59


Kerry Girling take into consideration all the things that didn’t go as you planned too. This will help you calculate the all the unforeseen events that may happen along the way. Although you can never equate all the possible outcomes when calculating a risk, you can always use your past experiences as a judgement on the amount of energy that’ll need to be applied to the situation. You can’t always foresee the challenges we face before they happen. But, that doesn't mean you need to quit when they persist. There are so many people out there just as talented as you are. In fact, they may even harness a few other unique characteristics that put their threshold of talent higher than your own. But, if they don't take action and they don't project their talents to the rest of society, there’s a better chance that you will be the one to become famous simply by just taking action. Opportunities surround our everyday footsteps. They do so because we ask for them. But, often times, we've already given up on ourselves before they come into our lives. And, when they finally do come to us, we are no longer looking for that exact same type of happiness. It's a never-ending cycle sometimes. It plays with our minds in so many ways. Yes, you are going to be brought down more than one time. You will face adversity over and over again, especially if you are aggressive in your approach to life. You will try to implement ideas that are instantly rejected, only to see them implemented by other people who claim their initiative. You will face so many obstacles that you can barely count them, but always remember that you are the one that determines what type of material you download into your mind. 60


Forming the Ideal Perspective You don't need to let any tragic incident affect your mindset before you take initiative. The rewards from just taking the first step surely will outweigh any of the adversity you stand against. A boy is told from the day he is born to amount to something despite his challenges. He is challenged throughout his entire life; by other people, by himself. The problem is; his challenges are mental. They aren’t even considered to be a challenge. What everybody else doesn’t know is that his inner challenges about himself are more difficult to overcome than most. He was programmed by his parents from the very beginning that he wasn’t ever good enough. He went his entire life without affection. He was rejected by almost every one of his friends. Yet, as the boy grew to become a man he overcomes all of the challenges he used to face simply because he changed his own mind to adapt to a healthier perspective. This boy was capable just like the rest. All because he had control of his own mindset. Each of these characteristics explained in this book are meant to be intertwined with each other and to be maintained over a long period of time. Doing so will help you generate insurmountable results. We will never become better people unless we initiate ourselves onto a healthier playing field. We need to, first of all, believe in ourselves. We need to take in the positivity from our surroundings and utilize it to build upon our mental capacity. Too many human beings succumb to the negativity in their lives. They let it dwindle down their passion towards their truly most important things in life. Unless you dedicate

61


Kerry Girling yourself to staying determined as an individual to become the best you can be, you will find it challenging to be happy. Taking action will increase your confidence tenfold. It'll allow you to tap into your imagination much further. It'll instil the confidence needed to overcome any obstacle that stands in your way. That's why it's so important to take action regardless of which direction you are going. Everyone you come across (who are satisfied with what they have) will tell you that they didn't understand what they wanted in life until they actually experienced it. Experience is one of the biggest parts of the equation when it comes to finding an ideal career, job or responsibility. Without action comes zero reward. There are many content individuals playing video games in their basements, but they haven't yet understood what happiness is until they step outside and tap into their imagination. They won’t understand what it’s like to fulfill a physical goal until they take physical action in some way. The best thing you can do in your life is to take action. Your relationships are there in the first place because you went out of our way, out of our comfort zone, to introduce yourself. If you hadn't have taken the initiative in the first place then you wouldn't have had the opportunity to be friends with them. All of the advancements you received in the business world too simply came to you because of your need to take charge. You can clearly see that the overachievers became great in their field simply because they were the ones that took the most action. They practiced harder than the rest. It's not a secret to see that the ones who become greater are the ones who stayed later than 62


Forming the Ideal Perspective the rest. They were the ones who tapped into their imagination the most, and they were the ones who are the most grateful as well. In the realm of it all, it all comes down to their commitment to themselves. Each of them had a positive self-image, they practiced positive things and believed in themselves. Regardless of the situation, or how many times in life they failed, they overcame every obstacle they came across because they tuned their mindset towards a more positive way of living. An ideal situation is when a talented individual sees more within himself while harnessing a truly dedicated belief in himself. It's when the majority of his thoughts are in line with his fantasies regardless of the amount of negativity he goes through. It’s when there are no possible doubt as to why he blew away the competition simply because he was the one that took the most action. The ideal situation is when the person with the talent believes in himself and his driven to stay determined. It's when he does everything he can in his abilities to achieve what he sets his mindset too. Optimally, it's when the individual acts with confidence that he is the very best all the time, yet staying humble in his description about himself. Take advantage when the opportunity persists. When you snap out of your current daydream and focus on a lifestyle more appealing to you, you may just see that the very opportunity you were interested in has always been there all along. Often times, we don't find what we are looking for until we stop reflecting on what we are used to. It’s when we step outside of our comfort zone and see what other possibilities there

63


Kerry Girling are out there. When they do happen to arrive at your doorstep be sure to take advantage of them. They don’t always come very often. Challenge yourself to be better simply by inviting more positive thoughts into your mindset. Eliminate all the frustrating emotions you currently feel by ridding your mindset of all the negative components. Your overall experience in life will be much more pleasant when you find yourself in a healthier self-image. The only way you can possibly accept the delivery of your desire is through adapting your mindset to a higher frequency; through positive thought. You can equate better possibilities into your life simply by changing your outlook towards what you go through. This will ultimately enable a higher standard of living. Only you can be the one to make it happen though. When your life isn’t going anywhere, one of the best things you can do is quit what you’re doing and replace it with something more appealing. But, what if I fail, or what if I succeed beyond my wildest dreams? You will never know until you find out. A man who enlists himself on a journey to finding himself is the most selfless act he can do to generate happiness. There are so many positive aspects that will happen when you spend some time to get to know yourself. One of the biggest positives is that it'll help you understand which opportunities are important to grasp onto, and which are merely a distraction. Your self-refection will tell you all the answer you are looking for in life.

64


Forming the Ideal Perspective Most human minds see opportunity opposite of how it actually happens. The bearer of the dreams are usually the ones who wish for it to happen. But, it's really the opportunities that are looking for a talented person to fulfill its success. The same amount of people are looking for opportunities as opportunities are looking for people to fulfill them. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. The opportunity is surely out there. You just need to be ready for it when it persists. You can be ready for the opportunity simply by adjusting your thoughts towards it. You can imagine yourself already achieving it simply by thinking about it in your mindset before it happens. The more you think about the opportunity the more likely it is to actually happen for you. The more positive thinking you practice towards it means the more chances of becoming successful at it. All in all, an opportunity isn't an opportunity unless it is taken advantage of.

65


Kerry Girling

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

66


Forming the Ideal Perspective

Chapter Ten – You are the Director Regardless of what they say to you, YOU are the one that calls the shots in your life. Even though you may have over-bearing parents, or you were abused when you were younger, or you were led to believe that you were inadequate, you harness every quality to make your own personal choices. You call the shots because you are the one that directs the focus of your mind. Although the people in our surroundings have affected our decisions in the past, we can relinquish our role as the 'Director of our life' simply by increasing our self-image. You can see that each of the components listed in previous chapters are all a part of the mix. If they aren't aligned properly there's a good chance your life will fall back into the hands of deceit. The aftermath has proven that neither of us was actually in charge of our lives before. We let other outside influences affect our decisions so much that our lives went out of control. It isn’t until we gain a proper balance of our self-image, our values, and morals, that we realize how amazing life really is. Our horizons are lifted when we’re no longer blinded by what other people say about us. You can take back the power of your life by striving towards a healthier perspective of it all. Yes, there are many negative things we can focus on; war, corruption, even looking into the odd conspiracy theory will taint your beliefs. But, once again, YOU are in charge of what comes into

67


Kerry Girling your mindset. You are the Director because it’s YOUR mind that generates the information. The words other people say to us can be detrimental to our psyche, yet we are the one that chooses whether their words affect our perspective. Yes, there will always be someone who tries to throw you off your journey to success. He will try and make you think you are worthless over and over again. It'll, most likely, will happen more than once. It might even happen more in your adulthood believe it or not. But, that doesn't mean you need to give up on yourself. You can take this unfortunate time to reflect upon your past mistakes, and use the lessons within each experience as leverage to overcome your emotional attachment to them. When you release your regrets, remorse, anger, and hostility towards your past you’ll unleash a completely different realm of opportunity that’ll more than likely fulfill your desires in life. You will be beaten down more than a few times in your life. It happens to everyone. You will be blasted by other people; people who don't even have a meaning in your life. These people will try to make you feel afraid of reality in almost every single way. Being prepared is the best thing you can do to overcome the obstacle of the negativity. You are the director of your life! It’s time to take charge of it.

68


Forming the Ideal Perspective

“Happiness isn’t trying or finding, it’s deciding”

69


Kerry Girling

Chapter Eleven – Building your Karma bank Life is similar to a board game in so many ways. Just like monopoly or a game of chess, it's the choices that you make during the game that directly reflects your outcome. If you continuously make the right types of moves with your chess pieces, the chances of succeeding are pretty good; however, if you don't pay much attention to the choices you're making, you're going to lose. On a board game, if you make better choices than your appointment, you're probably going to be quite a bit further ahead. Karma is no different. It works in the same way. Another common life similarity to Karma is a bank account. Most of us have one. The amount of money that you have in it, at any given time, is based on your choices and the types of purchases you made. If you spent too much money, your bank account will be in the overdraft. Karma is no different. For every positive thing that you do for someone else or society, your account will rise but for every negative thing that you do your Karma account will decrease in size. We need to constantly build our positive karma bank accounts and keep them out of the overdraft. When your Karma bank account is in the overdraft, it instantly sends negativity your way. By committing ourselves to doing more good deeds for others our positive Karma will grow. All of your actions and decisions are accounted in your bank of Karma. You can easily increase your Karma through random acts of kindness.

70


Forming the Ideal Perspective

“Living in the future is as detrimental to your lifestyle as living in the past. Only when one can live in the current moment will you find yourself.�

71


Kerry Girling

Chapter Twelve – The origin of your beliefs Our beliefs are derived from our past experiences. Each of us goes through different experiences in life which means that our own individual beliefs are unique to ourselves. No other human being has the exact same beliefs to the exact same degree. In fact, each experience in life potentially alters our perceptions of the way we see reality. When we go through negative experiences, it automatically alters the lens we see the world through. This lens can become quite tainted with impurities over a period of time. These impurities force us to become anxious with ourselves, frustrated with life, and actually strengthen and become more forceful within your mind over the years. This creates nasty mental problems and disables us to live life to its fullest. It also prevents us from achieving happiness in any form and grounds us from attaining the goals and ambitions that serve our minds. It’s important to locate these impurities as soon as possible so you can proactively work towards eliminating them altogether. Once eliminated, new positive beliefs can be formed. Many of the beliefs we harness as adults were formed in the first stages of our lives. Our parents, Grandparents, friends and siblings, Aunts and Uncles, and a variety of other influences contributed to the formation of our early beliefs. When we come into the world as children, we know no different. Until we reach an age where we realize we can modify our own beliefs, we simply latch onto the beliefs of our everyday influences. 72


Forming the Ideal Perspective Many of us harness the same types of beliefs as our parents because they were our biggest influences in our lives. Many times, these beliefs strengthen as we grow older because we haven’t latched onto any new beliefs. There’s a whole world of different beliefs to be explored. The problem with the beliefs that we’ve gathered throughout our lives is that they can be detrimental to our minds if negative in form. Most of our beliefs during childhood and early adolescence are in line with our closest influences. For example: many of our current fears are similar fears that our parents had. We’ve simply gravitated towards their fears and grew our own fears around them. Over the years, we’ve literally become our influences. We’ve been moulded to repeat similar actions as they did, and we’ve even been guided along a similar life path too. In fact, it isn’t uncommon for a child to follow similar roles in the workplace as their parents. It’s what they’ve been accustomed to, and our parents know no different because that’s what they’re used to. In fact, anger, hatred, abuse and many other damaging emotions are also taught by our superiors. We absorb a lot more beliefs and information from our parents than the average person would realize. The good news is that you need no longer be consumed by any limitations, any hurtful emotions or any self-defeating beliefs that you’ve learned in the past. Each of us has the power within to replace the negative traits and beliefs that we’ve latched onto throughout our lives. It comes with practice. There are literally hundreds of different labels, beliefs and emotional attachments that we’ve absorbed throughout our lives form our closest 73


Kerry Girling influences. Even though genetics can play a huge role in the growth of human characteristics, your mind is singly controlled by you and nobody else. This means that you control what type of information encrypts your mindset. Throughout the years, we’ve become seasoned to believe that we’re not good enough to achieve our desires. This was simply brought on by factors relating to failure, mistakes, and abuse within our lives. Other factors contribute to this; however, the painful memories of early childhood experiences still seem to bring up feelings of dissatisfaction. As mentioned, our beliefs are derived from the beliefs of others. It’s important to grasp onto the beliefs that suit your lifestyle. Everyone is unique in their own way. We all have different desires in life. It’s important to gravitate towards the beliefs that support your desires. You aren’t your past! There’s no reason to hold onto any ill or negative beliefs at all. Ill beliefs simply create a false sense of who you are and act as a barrier between ourselves and our goals in life. They rape us from any type of satisfaction. In a classroom, if someone is told that they aren’t as smart as their classmates, they may live their entire life believing this statement. They will, most likely, continue devaluing themselves throughout their entire life, even down the road when they enter their first and second careers. This belief will reside in their mind forever and will strengthen over time until they acknowledge its fiction and release it all together. This person will continue believing these limiting beliefs until they’re grown adults, or until they replace their negative belief with a more positive one. This 74


Forming the Ideal Perspective type of belief could alter their perception of the way he or she sees the world and could bring a very bleak perspective of what actually is. They will simply wake up each day in fear of not being as good as others. These problems would, most likely, transfer into the workplace in adulthood. If these limiting beliefs are continued, he or she will always feel insignificant amongst their coworkers, even though there’s no proof that they’re less superior. Remember, this all stemmed from ill beliefs that were formed when this person was a child. In fact, some people never rid themselves of their negative limiting beliefs. They constantly fight against their own daily thoughts trying to find happiness, but happiness is the furthest place to them because they’ve lost belief in themselves. Until they disable their limiting beliefs, they will continue to live in mediocrity and shame. Until they grasp onto new positive beliefs – beliefs that empower them and make them feel confident, their lives will be forced in a continuous negative downward spiral. When we reflect upon the origin of our beliefs, we realize that not only did our beliefs derive from our influences (our parents, friends, peer groups and the like); they’re also compiled from other various mental influences like television, radio, billboards and other advertisements in our paths. Studies have shown that the average person is prone to literally thousands of advertisements per day. These advertisements are filled with mental garbage that promises satisfaction and contentment upon purchasing their products. People seeing these advertisements are sold on the fact that they will feel happier, content and less stressed 75


Kerry Girling upon purchasing their brands; however, most times, they just leave us feeling more dissatisfied with ourselves. Their advertisements include subliminal messages that weaken our esteem and make us feel inadequate,

which

ultimately

leads

to

more

negativity

and

disappointment in the future. Many of their advertisements include negative comparisons between healthy and unhealthy choices. They make us feel like we need their products to feel happy again. Their messages contain words that are proven to generate success. In fact, many companies hire an experienced marketing staff specifically to generate advertisements that will capture the attention of their audience. Their messages contain graphic images and audible words that suck us into believing that we’re broken when we’re perfectly fine. These negative messages are being shown to us over and over again, making us feel inadequate every day at a repeated pace. This way of thinking ultimately leads to a lot of dissatisfaction, if not insanity. We are perfectly fine with what we have. In fact, we need to eliminate the feelings of inadequacy and start appreciating what we already have. We need to shut out the negative influences that taint our beliefs, and we need to latch onto the positive beliefs that empower us to move forward. You were perfectly fine growing up as a child without having all the newest materialistic items and the latest toys. Society has actually become quite greedy. By succumbing to all the materialistic offerings, you’ve become a part of the problem; a part of the greed. When you realize how grateful you are for what we already have, you will become

76


Forming the Ideal Perspective a lot less focused on everyone else and become a lot more committed within.

77


Kerry Girling

“Some never rid themselves of their negative limiting beliefs. They constantly fight against themselves trying to find happiness, but happiness is the furthest place to them.�

78


Forming the Ideal Perspective

Chapter Thirteen – You are more than you were led to Believe Sometimes it can be quite difficult finding the right path to take in life. There are literally multitudes of different choices that we make in our lives, all of which contributes to our everyday lifestyles. The decisions we make in life will determine the outcome of our futures. In order to make healthy choices in one’s life, one must be led by healthy beliefs. As mentioned, our beliefs are in direct reflection to the influences that surround us. Unfortunately, we don’t get to choose our initial beliefs; they’re handed to us by the people that raised us. Aside from the direct influence of our friends and family members, there are many factors that contribute to our beliefs. A simple conversation with a stranger on the street or an hour of television channel surfing can account for our enhanced beliefs. Our beliefs are changing quite rapidly with each experience we go through in life. Amongst our many positive beliefs, there are quite a few negative ones that reside within us. It’s important to locate the negative beliefs that you’ve been taught and replace them with empowering ones. Remember, enlightenment can only form in positive environments. If you harness even the slightest bit of negativity, your chances of becoming truly empowered are next to nil. As we move through life, each day provides both opportunity and hardship. In fact, everything we possess in life harnesses both negative

79


Kerry Girling and positive qualities. Even the relationships we build, they too harness negative qualities every now and then. No human being on this planet is subjected to only positive attributes; only those that are truly enlightened are immune to the vast negativity that surrounds their everyday actions. Negativity comes in so many different forms, and it causes suffering in even more ways you can imagine. All of the stresses and hardship that we generate in our lives is created by negativity. In fact, all disease that we manifest into our lives is also generated by negative events and in our everyday negative thoughts. In order to maintain healthy lifestyles free from disease, worry and hardship, we need to become our own best friends and build upon our own inner relationship with ourselves. In doing so, we’re able to understand ourselves much easier, which allows us to differentiate the positives from the negatives within our experiences. Our everyday thoughts help form our beliefs. That’s why our beliefs are always changing. They’re constantly trying to match themselves with the thoughts we think about. Knowing that our beliefs constitute the type of actions we’ll fulfill in the future means that we need to enhance the quality of our thoughts to keep our beliefs in line with the things we’re passionate about in life. Unfortunately, the majority of us let our negative thoughts run and ruin our lives. Although we may harness many positive thoughts throughout our days, it’s the negativity that brings us down and grounds us from achieving happiness of any kind. Many of us let the negativity within our lives control our everyday actions. Rather than eliminating the 80


Forming the Ideal Perspective negativity altogether, we merely continue living dissatisfied lives because it feels normal and has caused comfort for us over the years. Let’s face it; nobody likes to face change in any realm. Change can be difficult to comprehend. Change is one of the most fearful events in a person’s life. For most, they dabble in their lives believing the same selfdefeating beliefs they were taught by their elders, simply because they haven’t opened their mind up to any other beliefs. Or, they haven’t been taught anything different. Many of us still have the same friends and the same types of influences since grade school. We’ve gravitated towards certain types of people because that’s what we’re used to. We’ve formed relationships with the same types of friends because that’s all that we know. Many have failed to accept anything different simply because they don’t want to trek into the unknown. Unfortunately, living with this type of mindset will create nothing different in your life; no new experiences will come for those that live within these beliefs. There’s so much more in life that people fail to see, simply because they’re scared to make a change or they fear making a sacrifice. Change can be a wonderful thing for those that seek it. In order to move forward in our lives, we must crave change. We must fight our limitations we hold within our minds and fight the urge to stay complacent in society. There’s so much more in our lives that can be fulfilled simply by adapting to our ever-changing environment. Life provides change as a means of freedom and excitement. People are placed in our lives to accommodate success; however, no great things 81


Kerry Girling can emerge without forcing ourselves to adapt to the changes that occur around us. By adapting to our rapidly changing environments, we’re enabling ourselves to use our minds to its fullest potential, rather than being constantly grounded by the same dissatisfying beliefs that we’ve held about ourselves throughout the years. In fact, dramatic positive experiences will occur when one is ready to adapt to change in any realm, rather than fighting against it. Any type of change can be beneficial to one’s psyche. Some of the benefits include: a burst of inner confidence, forgiveness of all past negativity and remorse, a feeling of satisfaction and relief, more compassion for others and a whole variety of other great benefits. By adapting to change, you are one step closer to enlightenment. There are many factors that contribute to our overall dissatisfaction and unhappiness in life. The fear of change is by far the most detrimental to our minds. It causes us to continue the same dissatisfying lifestyles that we’ve been complaining about for years. By resisting change, one is allowing their negative beliefs to run and ruin their lives. Without change come zero rewards. The most satisfied people are the ones who take their fear of change and eliminate it altogether. Those that fear change; those who avoid it will never reach their full potential or experience any form of enlightenment. If one is not ready or willing to move forward, they can expect to receive the same mediocre results in life. The reality is; you were handed certain beliefs throughout your childhood. Some of these beliefs serve you confidence towards your 82


Forming the Ideal Perspective mission in life, however, some of them were negative and harnessed qualities that promote further negativity. It’s time to take an inner glance at the beliefs you’ve gathered throughout your life and eliminate the self-defeating ones while absorbing the positive ones for spiritual growth. Any negative belief will continuously drag you down. Any negative belief needs to be eliminated altogether. You are more than you were led to believe. You harness potential than you’ve ever realized. Most of us never fulfill even ten percent of our potential in life, simply because we’ve held onto limiting beliefs about ourselves. These negative beliefs have resided in our minds for many years. In fact, the majority dabble their way through their lives without ever fulfilling their passions. They let their negative beliefs run their lives; meanwhile, they never get to experience the joys and happiness that lie just around the corner. Those that resist the least change in life will not only fulfill their talents and potential in life; however, they will experience an abundance of joys and happiness every day they awake. Each of us has the necessary potential to reach unbelievable heights. A change will help you realize your true potential. It will allow you to succeed beyond the rest. In order to find your true potential, you must rid yourself of any negative beliefs about yourself and adapt to your ever-changing environment. Each of us has goals, ambitions, desires and the like. We all want to accomplish certain tasks within our lives. If you constantly let the negativity within you to overrule the important things in your life, you’re only going down a dissatisfying road of disbelief. Again, you are more than you were led to believe. You harness every 83


Kerry Girling quality needed to fulfil your desires in life. Only you can eliminate the hardship within your life, simply by eliminating all negative beliefs about yourself. Let go of any and all negativity that’s surfaced within your life. It’s time to live your life to the fullest and reach for the untapped potential that’s burning to be used. You are a miracle maker – you just don’t know it yet, until now.

84


Forming the Ideal Perspective

“Most of us never fulfill even ten percent of our potential in life, simply because we hold onto limiting beliefs about ourselves.�

85


Kerry Girling

Chapter Fourteen – Accepting life for what it is Life is best described as a board game. There are a series of challenges that we must face in our lives in order to move forward in a positive direction. A board game is similar. We, as players within the game, all have two similar things in common; we all want to achieve happiness and neither of us wants to suffer. Even though happiness doesn’t come easily, and suffering is evident for everyone, it’s the choices that we make within the game that reflect who we are as people. For most, they dabble through their lives without an ounce of passion. Perhaps they weren’t taught the fundamentals to find theirs. Either way, each of us moves forward facing daily obstacles. These obstacles create both opportunities and limitations. Some become defeated and lose their confidence when faced with larger tasks, whereas, for others, they embrace each obstacle as a learning experience and use it as leverage to make further advancement, thus being able to lead the game. Some hold onto their past experiences, while others gravitate towards the future. The player who is able to maintain a balance between past and futuristic thinking will be able to make quicker and healthier decisions. Meanwhile, most of us fail to realize the true meaning of the game – to be enlightened and to do your best to enjoy every moment in life. No matter how we approach the game of life, it’s important to accept it for what it is.

86


Forming the Ideal Perspective Life for many can be bleak, boring and full of limitations that make it seem near worthless, while, for others, they wake up each day with the satisfying feeling that they were given life in the first place. Being grateful is no common ground for these two people. One gravitates towards positivity because they expel it and they see life in a positive realm, while the other attracts only negative influences and experiences because they radiate negativity. In fact, for those that attract only negativity into their lives, they’re also filled with an abundance of limitations and inner obstacles, which makes it even more difficult to become enlightened. They reek of inner sadness, remorse and anger, and nobody can force them out of their dull cave of emptiness. Whereas, those that wake up eager for the day to begin and are excited to approach their new experiences, they’ve found the inner joys of society and the environment around them, like friends, passions, nature and the like. They create daily goals that make the game of life more interesting. They plan their lives for success – financially, spiritually and for their families. The difference between the two is quite drastic. One is constantly embraced with an outer security shell, while the other isn’t even protected by its own master. Their inner confidence is like night and day in comparison, and their perspective of how they see the world is completely opposite. The main difference between the two is this; one will achieve a heightened level of gratification through their experiences, while the other is missing so many fundamentals, it’s likely their souls will die inside well before they pass away in real life. It’s actually quite sad. 87


Kerry Girling By looking at life in terms of a board game, one can see the differences between the two types of thinkers. One looks at life as an opportunity, while the other looks at it as an ongoing battle, filled with harshness. It’s evident that the negative thinkers will only continue to bring upon negative results because their minds are trained to look for only the negatives, while, for the positive goal seeking people; they’re destined for happiness because their minds are programmed for success. Each of us approaches life a little differently. Even though we’re playing the same game of Life, we make different choices and learn different lessons from different types of experiences. All in all, we’re trying to reach the same place – enlightenment. Fortunately, for the people that see the world as a positive environment, filled with opportunity, they will be placed amongst the higher realm of happiness, while, for the people that dwell upon negativity, they will continue the same bleak trek in life but with many more struggles. Life can be very complex at times, especially when one is overwhelmed with demands. Amongst the complexity of life is fulfillment. As often as we’re sent obstacles, we’re sent opportunities. These opportunities come a lot easier for those that are enlightened, however, they’re offered to everyone with the same magnitude. Opportunities help us reach inner fulfillment. Without them, we cannot foresee future success. They’re available to everyone and surround our every movement in life; however, many fail to see them because they’re wrapped up in their own defeated mindset.

88


Forming the Ideal Perspective Each experience that we go through in life offers opportunities. These can come in the form of relationships, business transactions and spiritual growth. No two experiences are the same, which means that no two opportunities are the same. In fact, our experiences affect us in some of the most profound ways. Many times, it’s easy to differentiate between positive and negative experiences; however, each experience, whether in positive or negative in form, will provide some form of opportunity. Sometimes negative experiences provide us with the biggest and best opportunities. In fact, we learn the best life lessons when we face defeat. When you’re ready for an opportunity, it will present itself to you, however, if you’re not ready for it, your mind won’t even notice the slightest opportunity within your presence. Even though, opportunities usually present themselves during the least expected times, they can be brought by projecting positive thoughts into the environment. When you express your needs to the environment, it will do what it takes to position the right opportunity in front of you. Any religious or spiritual believer knows this. It works the exact same in any situation – a job, wealth, health, happiness or spiritual growth. Experiences are neither positive nor negative, they just are. All experiences can be looked at as both positive and negative. It all depends on the perspective you see them through. One person may see an experience as negative, whereas, another person may find only positive qualities within the same experience. In fact, many people make a subliminal point to seek only the positives or the negative traits 89


Kerry Girling within an experience. It all depends on how their minds were trained in their upbringing. Thinking fully in negative or positive terms can be detrimental to your psyche. If one is to look only for the positives in each experience, they will miss out on many great learning experiences they would’ve learned from the negative qualities of the experience. People that only seek the negative qualities within their experiences; they will live a boring life filled with mediocrity. Every experience harnesses both positive and negative qualities. Even the opportunities that seem one hundred percent positive in nature; they too harness negative qualities and vice versa for negative experiences. From this perspective, one begins to realize that life is one hundred percent a game of mindset. Some people take life as it comes, while others are still complaining about what happened to them yesterday. If we hold onto our past and constantly play images from our pasts in our minds, it will only bring feelings of sadness, anger and hostility. Those that live in the moment and embrace each day as they come; they will be filled with a tremendous inner relief. Complainers focus on primarily the negative aspects of each situation, whereas, those that refrain from such wasteful thinking have set their mind to think in positive terms, even in the most crucial and devastating situations. By thinking in positive terms, you are freeing your mind to live in the moment and enjoy the experience. All too often, people’s complaints follow them well into their later days and linger within their minds until they fall asleep at night. In fact, their problems and worries irritate them all day long until 90


Forming the Ideal Perspective they find some form of relief. Many of us fail to realize the damage this causes. This irritation causes disease, discomfort and further negativity. It also leads to alcoholism and drug abuse and many other limiting habits. It takes practise, motivation, inspiration, and a great deal of inner strength to forge our way through our lives in a positive realm; however, one can find the truth about themselves and gain powerful insight into their psyche if they are committed. Only those that remain committed will feel the mental release that I’m talking about. Becoming enlightened takes more than just “living in the moment” to achieve. To reach full inner enlightenment, it takes the entire removal of one’s negative past history. It means delving deep into your inner soul, locating the negative traits, while replacing them with positive ones. As mentioned, we grow different perceptions through our lives; we need to constantly replace old limiting beliefs to form positive perceptions of our environment. The way we see the world around us directly reflects the way we see ourselves. It’s all connected to our values and beliefs as well. Those that harness a negative view upon society will most likely never be satisfied, whereas, those that have forged through the negativity and see the world as a wonderful place to live, they will reap the greater opportunities and positive qualities that life offers. It’s all in the way you train your mind to think. Psychologists have studied the human mind for centuries. Their discoveries have led to reveal many interesting facts about the way our 91


Kerry Girling minds are programmed. In fact, our minds are pretty much hard-wired like any electronic module ever produced. In electronic terms; the mind of the unit is called the motherboard, which is connected to various motors, light bulbs and other organs of the unit. Information is sent to each organ through wires which tell them when to activate. Our brains are no different. They’re literally designed in the same form; they’re just made of different materials. Using this analogy, we’re able to see the simplicity of our minds. Even though, the mind can be quite complex when explored in depth, its daily operations can be expressed in the same form as a computer. As the computers life gets older, parts wear out and need to be replaced. Even its memory will need to be replaced at some point. Our minds are no different. Even though they have mechanical similarities, our minds are actually quite a bit more powerful. To what extent? Even psychologists don’t even know this answer. In other comparisons between the two; the human mind has much more memory and can produce many more physical results that the computer has yet to achieve. Even though our bodies wear out quickly, there are many factors that contribute to the depletion of our body parts. In fact, many of us put additional unneeded stress upon our minds through worry, hatred, anger and negative thinking. This stress causes our lives to flounder quicker. It also increases the chances of illness, sickness and the limitations that we hold upon ourselves. With continued stress comes dis-ease. Even though a certain amount of stress is needed within our minds to stay motivated and live healthy 92


Forming the Ideal Perspective lifestyles, it also leads to more negativity. Our fast-paced lifestyles; mixed with our increasing needs has led to increased stress in all forms. This has also led to a collapsed economy, millions of failed marriages and an overall greedy society. In addition, it’s caused a lot of worry, hatred, remorse, dissatisfaction and aggression. It’s also contributed to well over ninety percent of all illness and sickness. We need to get a hold of ourselves and our minds before they run us into the ground, literally. Enlightenment is the only stress reliever known to man. Even thinking in therapeutic terms, when one goes to the spa to relieve stress, and say they receive various treatments to overcome their stressful mind; with each treatment; whether it’s a massage, pedicure or body wrap, this only starts the process to relief. In the end, our minds are what relieves the stress altogether, not the therapy itself. Even medications and cancer treatments; they too are only tools and techniques to get the healing process started. It’s our minds that alleviate the inner tension that will ultimately heal our bodies, not the cancer treatments or medications themselves. In fact, most sickness and illness is caused solely by our daily thinking. In essence, our minds create the negativity and stress that dwells inside of us. Stress is the leading factor in all illness. Knowing this should increase your need to become enlightened. It’s important to reprogram your mind to believe in the possibilities, rather than dwelling upon the past. It’s even more important to accept life for what it is. This will allow you to move in a 93


Kerry Girling positive direction and embrace the current moment – the only moment that’s important. Get rid of any ill beliefs you hold about yourself and about the world around you. Accept the Universe for what it is, and accept the fact that there are going to be many ups and downs in your life. Remember, you are the one that determines your feelings towards every experience you live through. We’re all wired the exact same way, yet we harness different beliefs in our minds. Our differentiating beliefs alter our perception of the world and the way we see ourselves. If you harness any negative beliefs, or if you struggle with limitations that you’ve put upon yourself, do your absolute best to overcome them. You can start by reliving your past experiences in your mind. By reliving your past – no matter what you’ve gone through, you’re accepting the world for what it is. When you can accept your life for what it is, your life will be taken to its highest realm – spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Your life isn’t going to get any better if you don’t take charge of it yourself.

94


Forming the Ideal Perspective

“When you can accept your life for what it is, your life will be taken to its highest realm – spiritually, mentally and emotionally.”

95


Kerry Girling

Chapter Fifteen – Living in the moment Tapping into the peace that resides around us every day is just one of the benefits of reaching enlightenment. Living in the moment allows us to tap into our inner beings – our inner souls. It allows us to find ourselves and understand who we are as people. Happiness is only found when one lives and finds enjoyment during the current moment. When you give power to your past, you also embrace the negativity within it. The same goes for futuristic thinking. Living in the current moment allows us to generate compassion for those around us and enables us to become enlightened. Enlightenment and living in the moment should be everyone’s primary focus and goal to achieve in life. Their passions, goals, friendships and everything else should come a distant second. For, when one is enlightened, everything in life becomes much easier. When one is enlightened, their joyous, caring and compassionate characteristics are shown through their personalities. The current moment offers more fulfilment than any other time in existence. Unfortunately, most fail to find the enjoyment because their minds are programmed primarily for past or futuristic thinking. They’re either dwelling on their past, or their so caught up in their minds thinking that salvation will come when a certain experience happens to them in the future. Either types of thinking can be destructive to a person’s psyche. Only when one is able to tap into the current moment and fully enjoy it; finding positive qualities within the situation and 96


Forming the Ideal Perspective eliminating all negativity, they will become fully satisfied with whom they are as people. Inner happiness and confidence are formed when an individual experiences living in the moment. Unfortunately, North American culture, the media, advertisements and political judgements within society have literally programmed our minds for us.They’ve sped up our lifestyles, making us feel unfulfilled with life and ourselves. This has thrown us as far away from living in the current moment as we’ve ever experienced. Living in anything but the present moment makes our bodies tingle with dissatisfaction. It makes us cringe with sadness because our thoughts are constantly unfulfilled. Living in the past makes us think of memories that we miss, or they bring back memories that we wish we could erase; meanwhile, thinking in futuristic terms, our minds are programmed for thoughts of wealth and future success. These thoughts remind us of things that we’ve fallen short in life, or it reminds us of the things that we’re missing. It makes us feel dissatisfied with whom we are as people. These thoughts generate worry and sadness inside of us. We worry about the future, become sad about our past, or we feel unfulfilled because we compare ourselves to other people, rather than finding enjoyment in the things that we already have, like the relationships we’ve built and the goals we’ve already achieved. The primary factor in our constant dissatisfaction is due to materialism. Biggie Smalls said it the best, “More money more problems.” When one has more money, more materialistic items; more cars, larger homes, and more of anything, he will suffer the consequences of more 97


Kerry Girling problems. The consequences differ in each situation; however, as mentioned earlier, everything harnesses both positive and negative qualities. The more materialistic things you gather within your life, the more problems you will succumb yourself to. More isn’t always better. In fact, when one is able to live life without harnessing the latest technology and succumbing to a materialistic lifestyle, they will be able to tap into the current moment a lot easier than those that are entirely consumed by the latest gadgets on the store shelves. Happiness doesn’t come in the form of materialism. It only comes in the form of living in the moment. Those that respect this fact will find an inner bliss that cannot be found by those that are consumed by materialism. Our society literally brainwashes our minds every step we take and with each purchase we make. “It’s as simple as a click of your mouse.” Does that sound familiar? Everywhere we go, we’re placed in front of seductive advertisements that encourage us to believe we need their products to be happier people. Even though this may seem like a reality to many, it’s actually quite the opposite. When one is able to eliminate his or her desires for any and all forms of materialism, life will instantly seem far less stressful and their dreams will become more attainable. In fact, many of our goals – the things we want to accomplish in our lives are derived from materialism and money. It’s the main reason why the majority of us get out of bed each day, to receive more of it. Unfortunately, the majority of us live our lives in constant dissatisfaction. This means that working for materialistic things or even 98


Forming the Ideal Perspective financial gain isn’t necessarily going to lead to happiness. Only those that are satisfied with what they already have will ever reach true lasting happiness. In fact, enjoying the moment in any realm, including time spent with family and friends, or doing something that you’re passionate about will allow you to find your inner bliss. Finding reasons for your happiness is the missing piece to the puzzle. Enlightenment will help you find those reasons. For those who seek enlightenment through materialism or money, they will soon realize that their “happy” feelings usually dissipate within a short moment. In fact, as one continues their pursuit of happiness through materialism, their feelings of satisfaction become less and less aggressive through time and repetitiveness. Much similar to an addiction of any illegal or over the counter drug of any kind, when a materialistic achievement is accomplished, the feeling of contentment generally dissipates within a few hours. True lasting fulfillment can only be created within one’s mind. It’s generated through living in the current moment. There is no other way. In fact, when one is living fully in the current moment, feelings of freedom generate and the release of aggression occurs. These feelings generate both compassion for others and compassion for ourselves. When one is in a state of freedom, their inner soul lights up with an aura of happiness and inner bliss. The feeling of freedom alone can make a person feel fulfilled. Freedom is simply a state of mind that one can create through living in the current moment.

99


Kerry Girling

“Only when one is able to tap into the current moment and enjoy it, they will become satisfied and inner happiness will be formed.�

100


Forming the Ideal Perspective

Ten factors to help you find your inner bliss: 1. Surround yourself only with positive and uplifting people – people that encourage you, rather than people that constantly breed negativity. This will be one of the most effective ways of gaining enlightenment. True friends are those that breed compassion and those that are encouraging. It may take some effort finding the right relationships for your lifestyle, but they’re out there. 2. Create a vision board for the things you want to accomplish. Cut out pictures from magazines that represent your goals and desires. Paste them on a piece of cardboard and place it in a room you visit frequently. For example: tape it to your bathroom mirror. Every time you brush your teeth, the images will inspire you to act upon your goals. Vision boards create great reminders of the lifestyle that’s worth living. 3. Measure all of your desires. Ask yourself how important they are to you. If they are crucial to your wellbeing then do your best to achieve them; however, if they contain no other value than materialism then delete them altogether. Don’t let materialism affect the way you live your life. Be happy with what you already have. 4. For those that are working day jobs to make a living, take some time to search for the reasons why you picked the job in the first place. Remember who the influences were that affected your decisions in getting the job initially. Ask yourself, “Would I be happier working a different type of role altogether, or am I perfectly fine where I am? In 101


Kerry Girling other words, does your job bring satisfaction to your days or could you use some positive change in your workplace? 5. Create a list of pros and cons of your current lifestyle. Include all important factors that contribute to your wellbeing and happiness, such as: friendships, jobs, career and lifestyle. Weigh the pros and cons of each component of your life. This may help encourage positive changes within your regimen.

6. Search for the inner components that drag you down each day – the limiting beliefs and the negativity within you. Pay attention to your actions throughout your days. Keep track of your emotions and how you react in certain situations. Does your anger arise when you’re in a challenging situation? Do you harness any hatred towards anyone? Once you’ve gathered a sense of your emotions and where they reside, take some time to work on eliminating them for good. Only when a problem is acknowledged can it be solved and freed from ones conscious. Enlightenment cannot live in a flooded mind of negativity. 7. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Each of us is unique in our own way. We harness different qualities that make us different people. We have different wants, and each of us harness different beliefs. In fact, we all look at life through an entirely different perspective. Comparing yourself to others will only lead to further negativity within your mind. It simply has no place in our lives. 8. Be grateful for what you already have. Most of us strive our entire lives trying to fulfill materialistic goals. We work incredible amounts of 102


Forming the Ideal Perspective hours and put our hard efforts just to attain materialistic items. All too often, the satisfaction that we initially received from the purchase dissipates within hours of leaving the store. It dissipates even more when the product becomes outdated. Don’t waste your time on materialism. Even though it’s nice to drive fast cars and live exciting lifestyles through materialism, it will only lead to a defeated mindset and emptiness. Find the ways to be grateful for what you already have. Being grateful will lead to happiness and feelings of freedom. 9. Find the contentment with everything you do in life. From waking up in the morning to going to bed at night, you should find contentment in everything you put your effort towards. Our jobs are a primary example of this. Many people go to work dissatisfied because their routine is effortless and endless. It’s the same boring thing every day. It’s important to find contentment within our jobs and within the roles we play in our lives. Society, our influences and our decisions has forced us to live them, so we might as well enjoy them. Even though, it may seem difficult finding the positives in our working environments, it is possible to achieve. 10. Believe in yourself no matter what situation you’re in. As mentioned, our beliefs were altered through our experiences, and they were affected by the influences around us. Harnessing any negative beliefs about ourselves will only act as a barrier to living a healthy and happy lifestyle. Any ill beliefs that you form about yourself will take away the confidence needed to acquire enlightenment. Find the inner confidence within yourself and use it as leverage to receive the desires 103


Kerry Girling you want in your life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. By linking joy to your achievements, it will act as encouragement you towards future goals and desires.

104


Forming the Ideal Perspective

Kerry’s Recent Publications The Complete First Chapter Series - Moving on from what’s been holding you back in life After eliminating the negativity from his first chapter Kerry Girling chose to enlighten himself on a spiritual journey which led him into a much happier next chapter of his life. Through spiritual guidance he sought out answers to some of the most profound questions in life. Kerry delves deep explaining how he found abundant happiness through acceptance and how you can easily apply it into your own life to become a happier person. The Complete First Chapter series ties in all relevant life lessons from all of his motivating books in the series. This book will help you achieve more happiness in all areas of your own life. Learn to let go of the negativity in YOUR LIFE today! Kerry Girling has traveled the depths to motivate, inspire and encourage people of all ages. His passion is inspiring teens, parents, adults and anyone who has an interest to succeed. Through his inspiring Amazon Bestselling books, films and documentaries and motivational speeches he has encouraged over one million.

Kerry explains to you his secrets ~ the power of spirituality and the importance of the law of attraction and how you can apply it into your own life to live a happier lifestyle. His lessons will teach you how to a happier person. This book will help you. It will inspire you. It will enlighten you and encourage you to believe again. It will bring new

105


Kerry Girling ideas to fuel your passionate side. It will make you want to laugh and love again.

For further details please visit www.kerrygirling.com

106

Forming the ideal perspective motivation kids, education kids  

http://www.kerrygirling.com/ Forming the ideal perspective - motivation kids, education kids

Forming the ideal perspective motivation kids, education kids  

http://www.kerrygirling.com/ Forming the ideal perspective - motivation kids, education kids

Advertisement