Issuu on Google+

How Men Fall In Love And For How Long


This presentation is taken from The Origin of Emotions which can be downloaded at: ww.theoriginofemotions.com

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

2

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


This presentation will make the following assertions:

• men can only fall in love with a stranger • men fall in love after 4 months of daily interaction • men fall out of love 46 months after meeting a stranger

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

3

copyright © Mark Devon 2009


Men in love simultaneously feel three positive emotions when they see or hear the woman they love.

positive emotion

trigger

purpose

monogynistic love

" The woman I love is happy."

encourage men to support women

visual/audible pleasure

the sight or sound of women

encourage men to seek women

affection

the sight or sound of familiar people

encourage everyone to interact with kin

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

4

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Men fall in love 4 months after meeting a woman and fall out of love 42 months later or 46 months after meeting her.

monogynistic love

very strong

strong

moderate 42 months

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

5

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


After 46 months, men continue to feel the weaker emotions of visual/audible pleasure and affection.

monogynistic love

very strong

visual/audible pleasure strong

affection moderate

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

6

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Men fall in love when one woman repeatedly triggers their visual/audible pleasure and affection for 4 months.

monogynistic love

very strong

visual/audible pleasure strong

affection moderate

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

7

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Visual/audible pleasure is triggered by the sight or sound of women.

positive emotion

trigger

purpose

monogynistic love

" The woman I love is happy."

encourage men to support women

visual/audible pleasure

the sight or sound of women

encourage men to seek women

affection

the sight or sound of familiar people

encourage everyone to interact with kin

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

8

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Visual/audible pleasure is specifically triggered by features that fertile, non-pregnant women have and other humans do not.

children

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

men

fertile pregnant women

postmenopausal women

9

fertile non-pregnant women

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


The following are features that fertile, non-pregnant women have and other humans do not.

hourglass figure

- combination of protruding breasts, wide hips, narrow waist

protruding breasts plump lips wide hips

- ideal hip-to-waist ratio is 0.7

slender appendages

- face, neck, arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, toes

8% shorter height

- 8% is ideal (about 5½" shorter than a 5'10" man)

feminine voice

- pitch and resonance midway between men and children

beardless face

- beards evolved so men do not court men

pubic hair non-grey hair narrow waist

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

10

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


The more exclusive a feature is to fertile, non-pregnant women the stronger the visual/audible pleasure it triggers in men.

strength of effect strong moderate

weak

children

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

fertile pregnant women

fertile non-pregnant women 9

hourglass figure protruding breasts

9

9

plump lips

9

9

wide hips

9

9

9

slender appendages

9

9

9

8% shorter height

9

9

9

feminine voice

9

9

9

9

9

9

9

9

9

9

9

beardless face very weak

men

postmenopausal women

9 9

pubic hair non-grey hair

9

9

narrow waist

9

9

11

9

9

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


To fall in love, a man must feel strong visual/audible pleasure for 4 months.

monogynistic love

very strong

visual/audible pleasure strong

affection moderate

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

12

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Strong visual/audible pleasure can only be triggered by an hourglass figure, which confirms that a woman is fertile and non-pregnant.

strength of effect strong moderate

weak

children

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

fertile pregnant women

fertile non-pregnant women 9

hourglass figure protruding breasts

9

9

plump lips

9

9

wide hips

9

9

9

slender appendages

9

9

9

8% shorter height

9

9

9

feminine voice

9

9

9

9

9

9

9

9

9

9

9

beardless face very weak

men

postmenopausal women

9 9

pubic hair non-grey hair

9

9

narrow waist

9

9

13

9

9

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


4 months of strong visual pleasure confirms that a woman was not impregnated by another man just before meeting.

very strong

visual/audible pleasure triggered by non-pregnant woman strong

visual/audible pleasure triggered by woman impregnated just before meeting a man as she loses her hourglass figure

moderate

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

14

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


this is a tangent

The visual/audible pleasure that a woman triggers in a man declines over time which encourages men to maximize the genetic diversity of their offspring.

very strong

visual/audible pleasure strong

moderate

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

15

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


this is a tangent

Over 8 years, the visual audible pleasure that Elizabeth Hurley triggered in Hugh Grant declined enough that . . .

very strong

strong

visual/audible pleasure

moderate

weak

1987

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

1988

1989

1990

1991

16

1992

1993

1994

1995

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


this is a tangent

. . . that Divine Brown, a street prostitute, became relatively more attractive to Hugh.

very strong

strong

visual/audible pleasure

moderate

weak

1987

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

1988

1989

1990

1991

17

1992

1993

1994

1995

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


this is a tangent

Women frequently change their appearance to try to slow the decline of visual/audible pleasure.

very strong

visual/audible pleasure

change appearance frequently

strong

moderate

change appearance rarely

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

18

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Affection is triggered by the sight or sound of familiar people.

positive emotion

trigger

purpose

monogynistic love

" The woman I love is happy."

encourage men to support women

visual/audible pleasure

the sight or sound of women

encourage men to seek women

affection

the sight or sound of familiar people

encourage everyone to interact with kin

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

19

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Affection is specifically triggered by features that modern humans have and other primates do not.

arboreal primates

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

terrestrial primates

small-brain humans

20

modern humans

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


The following are features that modern humans have and other primates do not.

singing, poetry, alliteration

- logically sequenced acoustics from human voice

talking smiling

- corners of mouth turned up, not showing teeth

eyebrows, white eyes, nose, philtra, lips, chin

- everted lips

hands with long opposable thumbs walking bipedally

- or dancing

feet without opposable toes bums without tails

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

21

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


The more exclusive a feature is to modern humans the stronger the affection it triggers in others.

strength of effect strong

moderate

weak

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

arboreal primates

terrestrial primates

small-brain humans

modern humans 9

singing, poetry, alliteration talking

9

9

smiling

9

9

eyebrows, white eyes, nose, philtra, lips, chin

9

9

hands with long opposable thumbs

9

9

walking bipedally

9

9

feet without opposable toes

9

9

9

bums without tails

9

9

9

22

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


this is a tangent

The affection a feature triggers is stronger if there is proof of interaction.

• singing to music • dancing to music • making eye contact

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

23

copyright © Mark Devon 2009


this is a tangent

While seeing white eyes triggers moderate affection . . .

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

24

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


this is a tangent

. . . making eye contact triggers stronger affection because it confirms interaction.

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

25

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Affection starts weak and grows stronger the more time you spend with someone.

very strong

strong

affection (full-time interaction)

moderate

affection (part-time interaction)

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

48

52

56

60

months since first meeting someone

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

26

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


To fall in love, a man must feel affection that grows from weak-to-moderate strength in 4 months.

monogynistic love

very strong

visual/audible pleasure strong

affection moderate

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

27

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Only strangers can start at weak affection.

very strong

affection (old flames, family, friends) strong

affection (new women)

moderate

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

28

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Because men can only fall in love with strangers they maximize the genetic diversity of their offspring.

woman

child 1

child 2

child 3

child 4

child 5

child 6

MA

MA

MA

Mike falls in love with one woman for life Anne

MA

MA

MA

Mike only falls in love with strangers Anne Betty Carol

MA MB MC

Dawn

MD

Elaine

ME

Francis

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

MF

29

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Strangers can only trigger moderate affection by month 4 if they are interacting on a full-time basis.

very strong

strong

affection (full-time interaction)

moderate

affection (part-time interaction)

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

30

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Because men can only fall in love with women who interact on full-time basis they do not fall in love with women who could have been simultaneously courting another man.

very strong

strong

moderate

affection (part-time with man 1)

affection

weak

(part-time with man 2) 0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

31

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Men fall out of love after 42 months or 46 months after meeting a woman.

monogynistic love

very strong

visual/audible pleasure strong

affection moderate 42 months

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

32

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Love encourages men to support women.

positive emotion

trigger

purpose

monogynistic love

" The woman I love is happy."

encourage men to support women

visual/audible pleasure

the sight or sound of women

encourage men to seek women

affection

the sight or sound of familiar people

encourage everyone to interact with kin

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

33

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


By supporting women, men indirectly support their children.

monogynistic love women

men

maternal love

children

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

34

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Men maximize the number of two-parent children they have by starting the next child when the current child no longer needs full-time care.

child 1

child 2

child 3

child 4

child 5

child 6

child no longer needs full-time care

Anne Betty Carol

MA MB MC

Dawn

MD

Elaine

ME MF

Francis

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

35

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Children no longer need full-time care when their first set of teeth have fully erupted at 33 months.

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

before their first set of teeth fully erupt, children need assistance to eat

mothers must first breastfeed, then transfer of masticated food to their children

36

copyright © Mark Devon 2009


Adding 9 months of gestation to 33 months of post-natal care equals a total support time of 42 months.

monogynistic love

very strong

strong

9 months gestation

33 months post-natal support

moderate 42 months

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

37

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


There is ample evidence that men do not love one woman forever.

• fireworks do not continue • 50% of marriages end in divorce • affection keeps the other 50% together

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

38

copyright © Mark Devon 2009


Based on 2002 US Census Data, the average length of first marriages is 44 months.

men

women

average age at first divorce

30.5

29.0

average age at first marriage

26.9

25.3

3.6

3.7

average length of marriage

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

average length of marriage

3.7 years

average length of marriage

44 months

39

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


Assuming 16 months of courtship and 44 months of marriage, couples typically divorce 14 months after the man falls out of love.

monogynistic love

very strong

strong

16 months of courtship

44 months of marriage

14 months to divorce

moderate

weak

0

4

8

12

16

20

24

28

32

36

40

44

46 48

52

56

60

months since first meeting a woman

Men In Love 19-Aug-09

40

copyright Š Mark Devon 2009


How Men Fall In Love And For How Long