Ember Asleep

Published by Fontana

First published in Great Britain by Kindlight 2015

Copyright ©Mark Binmore 2015

This edition published in Great Britain by Fontana 2020. www.markbinmore.com

The right of Anonymous to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and publisher of this book

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

The journey of winter continues.

Prose, some written as songs. Feel free to add music and mix.

September

Dawn awaits a sleepless town skies all coloured grey

Here I roam the streets without you as summer fades away

Down to the harbour

the harsh wind is blowing

Wherever you may be right now it must be getting late

You're probably asleep already but I am wide awake

Down at the harbour

where the harsh wind is blowing

'Don't be lonely.'

that was what you told me

But don't you worry now

loneliness can be ignored and time has shown me how

Down at the harbour where the winter wind is blowing I am missing you so much

Snow Cherries From France

Fire trails sparkle across my eyes

I blink and you are gone sinking down with the setting sun Clouds swarming over me covering all that I can see The moon eclipsed the stars put out the hills fading to blue and grey and black

I sit here waiting for the sun to rise again it is only a matter of time

I dream only of loss the fine silver tinged gossamer threads of the past intermingled with lust and desire A horror show of fear a constant pursuit

And I'm always fleeing you are the cause of my dread

My hope you might visit me once more come to me at gone twelve gone two or three

Is that the only time you can make it?

The only time I will let you near I do not mean to push you away for I desperately want you

I was on my own when it began to snow on my own for so long on and on waiting for the snow to go away wishing it had come on any other day

Thoughts of you bringing me snow cherries from France and of the past and now the future it couldn’t last

The only thing I saw was snow falling no longer was my heart calling

Was I in your thoughts then?

Was I in your thoughts when the snow began to fall?

Now all the white lays smooth on the ground without a sound that was when I knew that snow must melt just like the feelings that I once felt

Mistraldespair

Listen to my heart

sorrowful

alas

I am lost without you and your lover

The great love in your life

she guided me

Be with me always day and night

Lamenting the great loneliness

the sorrowful tears

Asleep in the quiet green grave in a deep peace

There was happiness but that departed

It was he who followed you your lover

the great love in your life

He guided me

be with me always, day and night

I think of the day that you were beside me telling a story of the old life

I remember the day without want and without gloom

Be with me always, day and night

and I leave my home in the morning and the start of the day

My heart is grieving and my youth is long past

And at night and I am alone endless deep black skies

recollecting the days that were carefree and happy I listen to the wind

great loneliness, forever, and ever

The end of the great journey I am sad, sorrowful, and broken

After me, there will be nothing more but, it is our fate, children

Long ago was the day that I left my home there is no joy in my life nothing is left except the dead There was happiness but that departed

It was they who followed you your lovers

The greatest love in your life they guided me be with me always day and night

Ember Asleep

It is as if I had bound myself to the dark middle house tied myself up at the spindle

the knurling heart and said

You cannot leave this place until your heart is crystal and your words are twine

Your eyes are wisdom, tresses spidery grace

And long again, all mended, endless as the sky

You cannot be set free until your will is steel

Your thoughts immutable, immortal, as fine gems

Your silence frost-bound in the dark

Your dreams immense and perfect

All your limbs are purified and scourged of dread disease bones unchangeable, and core of mystery

Regained

and taken softly to be safe forevermore

Until the rare forbidden word of sacred call is known to you you will be locked within And still as death

as a stone

A shut-eyed flower, kissed by drowsiness

kissed by numb wasps to closed dark eyes

Closed to the humming bees

closed to the honey

And pollen, stowed like treasure deep inside

like a secret kept

A poem untold, untold and changeless, theft less, lifeless, deathless, blind

Speechless, senseless in the bounds of mind until you hear the dreaded summons of the king

Cruellest call the most beautiful of all, unspeakable

You shall not see the spark of salt and fire in the ash you shall not know the secret ember locked within The dust of your dumb mortal house silent breast

It is a tomb from which the flare will rise it is the muteness of the silent flint

If you see this, dread and glory dread, despair and the breath

Most of all, if you see this a spark will always, always come from the very slumber of the soul

Goodbye To Paris

I'm leaving for Paris on the night train

I don't think that I want to say goodbye

So I am leaving for Paris on the night train

please don't try and stop me

So I am leaving for Paris on the night train

Just take care of yourself won't you, huh?

Just you try to take care of yourself

Because I am saying goodbye as I leave for Paris

Tell me you follow me through the back streets by the Eiffel

I am asking you not to follow like so many who have followed before

So I'm leaving for Paris on the night train

please don't you try to find out where I am

Just you try to take care of yourself

I'm leaving, yes I am leaving for Paris and I have nothing left to say

Goodbye

Home For Christmas

You know that I am here

I will be waiting for your footsteps

And when you are here

I know you will be home for Christmas

Don’t forget me

please don’t leave me behind and please come home

Please come home for Christmas

Like Peter Pan

I wish I were a star and call you back from wherever you are

Come on fly to me

fly to me tonight and let me kiss you goodnight

You know that I am here

I will be waiting for your footsteps

And when you are here

I know you will be home for Christmas

I Can See New York From Here

All the way to New York

I can see the city from here

You’re getting close

you're right next to me

I’m sat with you on an airplane

I can see the city from here

as you drift back to sleep

Sometimes I think you want me to touch you let me know when

I’ll tear down the wall that divides us

Last night as I looked at a photograph of you

I thought I saw a future together

you just looked back and did not say a word

Memories of New York gather in our room

It’s funny to feel the dust

nothing seems to show

You stand still and silent

you said you would never go back

But after what happened there was no other way

Sometimes I think you want me to touch you let me know when

I’ll tear down the wall that divides us

Last night as I looked at a photograph of you

I thought I saw a future together

you just looked back and did not say a word

All the way to New York

I can see the city from here

You’ve stopped getting close

you're never next to me

I think of you on that airplane

I can see the city from here

I can see the buildings from here

Sometimes I think you want me to touch you come back to me when you feel ready I’ll be waiting

Last night as I looked at a photograph of you

I thought I saw a future together

You just looked away you just looked away

I can see New York from here

And the buildings the rust and the dust

Reptile

Do not be afraid

it is only a harmless moon

All we can do is to assume

Lives must change a change is due

I hear you say what are we gonna do

Grant me one wish don’t give me one reward

Don't announce time of the final call

My dream was that you were a reptile you flew across the sky

A slate grey cloud that filled the eye

Coming through the dust

reptile

Do not be afraid it's a harmless moon

One Last Look Around The House Before We Go

That old October yearning once more is returning and I have a longing to wander

The leaves may be falling but the month of October is calling

For one more walk around the garden

one more stroll along the shore

one more memory I can dream upon until I can dream no more

For one more time perhaps the dawn will wait and one more prayer before it's not too late

One last look around the house before we go before we say goodbye and close the garden gate

That old urge is saying, it’s time to go straying where no one but October can find me

To try and recover the heart and soul of a lover that I left lying somewhere behind me

For one more walk around the garden one more stroll along the shore

one more memory I can dream upon until I can dream no more

For one more time perhaps the dawn will wait and one more prayer before it's not too late

One last look around the house before we go before we say goodbye and close the garden gate

San Francisco

We waited so long when I was strong

it was no use been away too long

And now that we’re here

it’s another brand new year

I still love you you know that I do

I was lonely you had everything

We kissed goodbye and set ourselves free

And now that we’re here

it’s another solitude year

I still love you you know that I do

And now we’re letting go

On the banks of San Francisco

We were so young and beautiful then please come with me

I guess I’m still strong

I never was the one you should blame

The years may have gone but nothing has changed

And now that we’re here

still in love with each and every New Year

I still love you you know that I do you know that I do

And now we’re letting go

On the banks of San Francisco

We were so young and beautiful then please come with me

Amour Est Un Mot (Love Is Just A Word)

Another lonely summer

I was never your shelter following your footsteps

am I making my first regret?

I am sorry if I am foolish

I know there will be secrets that will come between us

And we always leave them there my child always leaves them there

Who will love you?

Do you break my heart?

Do I have to go?

Does it mean we have loved somebody else?

Do we have to cheat?

Do we have to lie?

Does it mean I have loved somebody else?

Who will hold you?

Do we learn to cry?

Do we have to hate?

Does it mean we have loved somebody else?

I am always waiting in the cold

I am feeling nervous hiding in the shadows

I know you will see me

I am sure I will get caught

I can’t keep together any of my thoughts and how I feel

I just came round to talk, you know

I am always here to talk

Who will love you?

Do you break my heart?

Do I have to go?

Does it mean we have loved somebody else?

Do we have to cheat?

Do we have to lie?

Does it mean I have loved somebody else?

Who will hold you?

Do we learn to cry?

Do we have to hate?

Does it mean we have loved somebody else?

Who will love you?

Do you break my heart?

Do I have to go?

Does it mean we have loved somebody else?

Do we have to cheat?

Do we have to lie?

Does it mean I have loved somebody else?

Who will hold you?

Do we learn to cry?

Do we have to hate?

Does it mean we have loved somebody else?

Now I am fighting but amour est un mot

Does it mean I am real?

Does it make you feel the same?

Who will love you?

Do you break my heart?

Do I have to go?

Does it mean we have loved somebody else?

Do we have to cheat?

Do we have to lie?

Does it mean I have loved somebody else?

Who will hold you?

Do we learn to cry?

Do we have to hate?

Does it mean we have loved somebody else?

I am always waiting in the cold

I am feeling nervous hiding in the shadows

I know you will see me

I am sure I will get caught

I can’t keep together any of my thoughts and how I feel

I just came round to talk, you know

I am always here to talk

Who will love you?

Do you break my heart?

Do I have to go?

Does it mean we have loved somebody else?

And I Think Of You

I think of you

when the night is fading

I think of you

when I'm walking home

I think of you when you call me

And I think of you when we talk

I think of you when you smile that smile you cannot hide

I like to keep you to myself

I’ll only share you with my friends

But I know for sure

what you have been thinking far beyond the city's lights

When it’s very late

I think of you

When you walk me home

I think of you

Whenever I feel tired

I think of you

And somewhere in the shadows

I think of you

When I close my eyes

I think of you

Whenever I am falling

I think of you

I think of you

When you call my name

I think of you

I think of you

I think of you

And when I feel

I think of you

And when I breathe

I think of you in everything I see

I think of you

in everything I live for

I think of you

Remembering Your Name

Remembering the rain

Here I am again in lover’s lane

with you overnight

We lie side by side

denying our lies

we kiss goodbye

I am forever yours

This love we had is now it is you I long to have

I cry

and think of you in the rain

Memories

come flooding back to me

I sigh

still cry and wish you were here tonight

Remembering the rain

whispering your name

Alone here with me

Thoughts linger and crash like before

No misery

lying every day, remembering the time

thoughts reflected on my mind

Who will you find?

I am forever yours

This symphony in hand

our love that we demand

I cry

and think of you in the rain

Memories come flooding back to me

I sigh

still cry and wish you were here tonight

Remembering the rain

whispering your name

crying again

And The Public Are Warned To Stay Off

So now we play the sweet song of death ripping strangers lives away from a distance with an effortless flick of a switch

Nothing more, nothing less they hear it playing from the mists of time

A peaceful tune of serene demise lost in the feeling of falling in love and pleasure

So bad, so good it sings them softly to eternal sleep making enemies of their dreams

A powerful paradox deadly enigma

Moving, mysterious and malevolent the quest for painless passing ends

At the expense of choice, and freedom to live their minds possessed by an unseen evil

Lead in by the light of engaging sound shown out by the darkness of enduring death

Engulfing the world, leaving nothing unaltered in its path of harmonious torture

Realization hits, swallowed up by fear life hangs by a pitiful thread

Without a sound, they scream and die alone

Kiss Amongst Friends

What can happen when your heart breaks?

Who can mend your dreams as you lie still and awake?

What could fool a loved one when there is no coming back to you?

Whoever we are, whatever we do

we’ll meet at the end and share a kiss amongst friends

When you don’t see someone listening when your eyes miss what they should see

When you don’t care what’s happening when the door slams and you’ve thrown away the key

Whoever we are, whatever we do

We’ll meet at the end and share a kiss amongst friends

When your mind won’t let you sleep when your conscience is too heavy to keep

When words fail to speak when your mind moves from frail to weak

Whoever we are, whatever we do

we’ll meet at the end and share a kiss amongst friends

There is no reason that we can explain we can’t ignore those who are to blame

The Cages Gate

He is like her he has no words trapped within his mind He watches her he takes her hand. He is kind to escape, she sings soft notes like bubbles burst against the bars of her cage To escape, he cries the bruises there to mark the rare impenetrable rage

They are both caged neither can escape They run as one still bonded by their common fate And as they leave one hand in his she shuts their cage's gate

Less Than A Pearl

Out of night has come the day out of night, our small earth

Our words have drifted away

our words are on a journey to find anyone who will listen

We call out into the distance...

we call out into the distance...

we call out into the distance...

we call out into the distance...

Less than a pearl in a sea of stars

we are a lost island in the shadows

It may be our words become lost

it may be our words find nothing, find no one

We call out into the distance...

we call out into the distance...

La Luna

She

she is here with me

And here it is an evening star

it is shining down upon you

And when darkness falls your heart will be true

You walk a lonely road and you are from home

The darkness has come believe and you will find your way

Darkness has fallen a promise lives within you now

And now the shadow's call it will fly away

Now you journey on to light the day

When the night is overcome you will rise to find the sun

The darkness has come believe and you will find your way

Darkness has fallen on La Luna a promise lives within you now

My November Symphony

Always confusion when autumn comes around

What to do about November?

How to smile behind a frown?

It's hard to settle down

So amusing

the people in the parade

Remember November the party has started

We runaway in November

we go down to the fair

What to do

what to say

The weather is changing the daylight has ended

From the bells of midnight when I kiss you goodnight

It is so confusing

the many fears that you bring

Remember, its November

Remember September and summer with its sun

Let us stay at home with all memories buried and dead

To Bring You Home

The tears I have cried

I have cried a thousand oceans

I am floating in darkness

I guess I cannot believe that I would keep you from me And I would cry a thousand more and I would cry a thousand more I would do anything if that were what it takes to bring you home to bring you home

I was aware about the rules but you know that I will run you know that I will follow you

Over the hills, through the field to the sunset you know that I will follow you and if I find you

Will you still remember how we played the game

Or will your memory just fade away?

You know that I will follow you over the hills through the field to the sunset

You know that I will follow you

The tears I have cried I have cried a thousand oceans

I am floating in darkness

I cannot believe

I didn’t believe I would stop you from trying

I will cry a thousand more if that’s what it take if that's what it takes to bring you home to bring you home

Where Fingers Long To Linger

Come, enter my temple of love and see, feel how beautiful it is

Do not be afraid, I will not hurt you, sweet one

I have been waiting this fire has burned inside me for years but no one cared enough or loved enough to fill it

Will you give your flames to me?

Can I touch, kiss, and taste the essence?

Will you let me?

You are here now in my room, in my hands, in my mouth

I lick the flames and listen to the music of your desire

I came to you in dreams as your dream, I touched you

I made your bed warm and wet

To wake in the morning sunlight

a smile kissed upon your boy lips where fingers long to linger stroking the beast within

Can you feel him stir?

Can you feel him uncoil?

I let my fingers play over your body

I feel the soft, I feel the hard and I want more

How I love to touch, do you want to touch?

Set the beat free, let it play within you

Your fear disappears

I smell honeysuckle seeping through the window

I am naked; will you set me free now?

I woke the beast

Oh God...What have I done?

Ancient Soul

I saw you from the window you were watching me

And what I saw from my window was what I should be

So forgive my lies and take me home

Because I need to start my life again

And I watch you with some intent fascination

I hope it’s the same for you

You hold your hand

and you start to smile

So forgive my lies and take me home

Because I need to start my life again

Let’s not be serious during the summer

‘Cause I need to cleanse my soul

I know there must be, yes I know there must be

I know there must be a place to go

You saw me watching from the window

I saw you from the window

You were leaving me

And I saw from the window

all that you could wish to see

So forgive my lies and take me home

because I need to start my life again

Lawrence

Dim-less light is darkening our place in paradise

Never shining

I will never leave Lawrence

love could have been so simple

I worship this tendency to fall so far with love

This struggle

I think I was the only one Lawrence

love could have been so simple be sure to know

Afraid Of Losing You

Every night I pray the same things because I believed, someone was listening

I tried to understand why it had to be but I can’t get it right in my mind You used to say things beyond what I could believe but all the time I knew you were lying and I was crying at the thought of disbelief So hold me in your arms and tell me that you love me and that you will never leave This little voice inside my head is here with me too ‘cause I’m afraid of losing you Running to the school gates at the sound of a bell that will always be the way I remember those lazy hazy days of the seventies before the dream was over

I found myself thinking of how we used to be kept telling myself of those good times with just you and me

Nothing’s really changed, we all need someone who just happens to be someone like you So hold me in your arms and tell me that you love me and that you will never leave This little voice inside my head is here with me too ‘cause I’m afraid of losing you

The Coming Storm

Love is tidal ebb and flow and I feel it come and go

The rush inside just floods and spills and racks my body with chills

Little by little it drains away drawing on another day

Whilst it’s gone I enjoy the calm such power can cause great harm

Yet soon I sense the coming bore and yes! I want it more

The rushing, gushing, flushing drill until once more I am still

Living within the eye gives false sense head down deep dreaming of peace

'Get real! Get real!' the call rings out

'Listen, listen, the rumble of the coming storm.'

'Nay, 'tis only the nightmare of past remorse.'

Fix the eye and chaos rules only the periphery

Can such nature be tamed?

The beast leaps to the tune of sympathy refused our hearts reach beyond the suffocating entropy threat

And into the moment of true love

controlling the storm gives a sense of power and freedom

Head held high finding peace of mind

'Build castles in the sand,' they all say

The storm is at bay though the calm lies within though chaos is all around It disturbs me not, for I am at peace

The beast is cast outward where lies and ignorance battle

Love is within and is ever ready to share

Perhaps in truth I dream too much and realize very little

I tell you this my power is such that anything's a skittle I'll knock it down without a challenge for I have found the scope

To circumnavigate the edge and bring to life all hope

Ghost Of Reason

In the darkness of the night in the space of a single moment

You never hear him coming the ghost of reason

In the stillness of grey fog in the twilight of the night

You know you should make your peace with the ghost of reason

In the aftermath of the morning in the cold light of day

He is the one who will be watching you the ghost of reason

In the brightness of your eyes in the fear of your sight

He will take you over this ghost of reason

In the light of my mother with the conscience of my father

Be the one to speak to me the ghost of reason

Little Bird

She sits there alone with the birds

she sits there thinking of stories she has heard

The sights she should have seen

ifs and buts

and what could have been

No one sees her

no one wants to be her

Eyes look

then the eyes look away

no one smiles

no one stays

If someone would only say hello would the pain inside go away?

It is too late now for remorse or regret

Something’s are so deep some pain you cannot forget

The colours on her headscarf are grey and faded her spirit inside almost gone

Defeated

jaded

the pain carved in every line

every scar chiseled in time.

Sorrow weeps beneath those eyes

a life full of hate

abuse

despise

Everyone walks on by no one really cares

Will anyone notice when she’s not there?

Another number another form to be filled

She’s someone’s daughter she is someone child

Everyone thinks she is just a little bit absurd

The old lady who talks with the bird

Eider Falls At Lake Tahoe

A wall I built kept in my lake far from everywhere from the sky this lake seemed dry but near it was complete

This lake was made by me alone

Starting on the coast into a bight then a bay it made its way to be

From the lake that fully formed a river deep did flow

And on this river

I came to row to all that give and take What came of my lake I did not know not salt, nor fresh, nor dry

The river once great and strong ceased it's mighty cry

And yet my lake did soon appear twenty and four years hence on that land from which I stood My heart and mind entrenched

I found my lake was near not far it's wall had kept complete

And it still stands within my land a stranger yet still me this lake I found was dear to me

A redoubt from here and now

No pretence was needed nor a caution and happiness was still an option

‘Cause Of Love

And you know ‘cause you know

And in the end

what’s it all about?

I will fall in love again

It’s all we got it’s all I want

Just you and me and the kids too isn’t that enough?

I used to believe in life alone

but now I see that I was wrong

Is that ‘cause of love?

Is this ‘cause of love?

I used to see in life alone

but now I see that I was bad

Is that ‘cause of love?

Is this ‘cause of love?

I give you life

I give you my life

I was bad and so was love

You gave me warmth you gave me warmth and love

I was bad

and so was love

Come On Home

I am lying awake

I am thinking of you.

It helps to pass the lonely nights when I am without you

You have been away

it feels like a lifetime

but one day is too long without you here

I know it has to be that you're away but I will call you later

I'll pick up the phone with just one thing to say

Come on home

hurry home

Now I know just what lonely really means

Come on home

hurry home

Now I know just how much you mean to me

Hurry home

come on home

The night is so still

there is silence in the air as I turn out the light but there won't be a loving kiss goodnight

Then my imagination starts to play a game

what if you decide to stay another day

Come on home

hurry home

Now I know just what lonely really means come on home

Hurry home

now I know just how much you mean to me.

Hurry home

come on home

I know there are things that I expect you to do and I don't want to trouble you

But I just can't stand being lonely without you come on home

hurry home

Now I know just what lonely really means come on home

hurry home

Now I know just how much you mean to me.

Hurry home

come on home

Hurry home

come on home

Sacred Mountain

Soon

soon I will taste pure love

sitting high on scared mountain

Before me around me

there are hills

Behind me

staring at me

fields that lead to the sea

The sun rises slowly in the east rivers and valleys awake

All things slowly come to life

my heart becomes silent

Radiance around me

a sphere of white light and within all is good

I see all as equal

Everyone with a hidden light that one day will shine forth

It is wrong to believe in hate

for they will be Buddha’s one day even if a million years must pass

Time will not allow me to show you what I mean just a few brief years

And the memory of us both has gone

I cannot dance with you on this sacred mountain

but I know you are not far away One minute we are filling spaces the next we become dusty dreams

I cannot even love you here life is too cruel for that But I still in silence here and wonder at the melancholy days This mountain like me changes like the seasons people who have come into focus people who matter so much to me people whose images are clear to me Soon they will have to leave there is no joy clinging to shadows We must turn our souls to the inner sun to the ceaseless clam of a stronger life Where light is constant and bright where darkness has never been known And where sorrow will end forever .

River

The sun goes down the storm is over

I lie in symmetry tonight

The time is now they go running disappear out of reach into the night

We cannot go on no one wants to help us

We cannot go on no one wants to aid us

But we go forth we go on

we flow with Pthah on the river

The morning light the fog over dawn

we will whisper our goodbyes tonight

You still anquet they always forget overboard they flow out of sight

We cannot go on no one wants to help us

We cannot go on no one wants to aid us

But we go forth

we go on

Great Big Lie

Look at life

all we see is one great big lie

Take a piece of my heart

I am coming up to get you

People are gonna hate you people are gonna love you

I will be good for you

One great big lie moving around all this anger in me

one unhappy man

I want to hate you

I want to love you

I could help you

The world we live in is full of hate

No one to ask, assist or listen to

No one to help you runaway

Yes runaway Mmh yes

runaway