Stir

"This is going to be the most painful class ever” With that comes other notions Three hours of identical presentations Three hours of second guessing the quality of my own project to be turned in Three hours of wishing I was in on the joke going on across the room. The whispers and snickers that pass like a game of telephone down the line. "ever” might be an exaggeration, but five minutes in, it is more true than anything I have than the deadline on the sheet before me.

Already fidgeting, this energy drink is pulsing through my veins The objects on the table, from a pen to a pushpin are already a distraction They fumble around in my hands, taking the cap off ever so slightly and snapping it back into place, the pin digging into the edge of the table, splitting the rubber from the wood.

My mind is a tapped well, spilling information, relevant or not, into ideas and tangents and blur the lines between fact and fiction Thesis ideas that would never work Storylines that are 60% truth and 40% fiction Only the "ifs” of real experiences.

I could work on something Take this time to be productive.

Write a paper, a poem, Draw a cartoon.

One that might be accompanied by a short four line rhyme that reminds of the old fantastical children’s books of talking animals and nonsense I wish I was part of that joke. With something to add, something to whisper over a friends shoulder and see there pursed lips animate into a wide smile.

Instead I fidget, scribble on a pad Scribble from that ever leaking well This will be long Repetitive, monotone, stale, But the well is full of life Keep draining My drawing will make people laugh since I can’t be part of the joke.

Ill pass it down a row and feel pride as chuckles rise from serious faces But as always, the paper will be passed back and forgotten, no more comments, no more looks and head nods. Whispers start and again necks turn to, the faces of the people behind with a gleeful expression and giddy excitement.

My pen scratches the beginnings of a desperate cartoon.

This will be the most painful class ever