Self care and self defense for women activists

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10. Is there organized support to do this in your workplace or space of participation? When was this implemented? How have your colleagues usually responded?

11. Discuss a collective proposal to improve free communication of feelings and needs with your colleagues. This would include, for example:

REFLECT j The ability to express our needs and emotions clearly, establishing certain criteria and limits in our relationships, is commonly referred to as assertiveness53. When a person is capable of communicating his/her thoughts and feelings to others, and manages to get social recognition (and thus support for this type of conduct), we say that person has an assertive nature. j In women, assertiveness is not always considered a positive trait—some people interpret it as being aggressive or insulting when we are assertive. j This happens when courage or anger is expressed. Anger, for example, is a signal or a message that reaches us suddenly, something hurts, something about us is not being taken into consideration, something is humiliating, not right. When we experience physical pain we say “Ouch!” but when we experience pain or emotional rage, many of us remain silent, so the anger is somatically manifested in our bodies. j We have been taught that women should not express anger; they should be passive and calm. However, this does not mean that women do not feel these emotions—the girl who never gets angry has no choice but to keep suppressing unexpected feelings. j The ability to acknowledge and express emotions improves with regular practice, by laying down clear limits and giving firm and clear responses in social situations. j Assertiveness is necessary not only in relation to others but also for ourselves. In order to become stronger we need to acknowledge and express exactly what we feel beyond our grief or pain. We need to convey clearly how much damage was caused, how much anger and disgust, and also acknowledge the desire for self-chastisement or vengeance. 53. Chris, Mruk, “Auto-estima: Investigación, teoría y práctica” (Self-Esteem: Research, Theory and Practice). Biblioteca de Psicología, Bilbao, 1998.

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