The Wondrous Online Dating Guide Ebook for Men Tips and Advice Getting no responses? Getting too many responses? Want to perhaps try online dating for the first time? This guide has everything you need for online dating. If you find it useful please share it! Note: This guide demonstrates the perspective of both genders. Researching the plights of the opposite sex is also beneficial after all!
Part 1: Establish Your Profile Your profile is who you are in the online dating world so be sure to not make it too cliché. Many people copy profile templates from the Internet but it makes them look the same as everyone else and ultimately boring! It is obvious to many that you would be a good friend and you like to have fun and things such as that. Who doesn’t like to have fun? What you should actually put on your profile are your true interests such as arts or sports. Be very specific about this which means that instead of saying ‘I love films’ you would say something such as ‘I love The Titanic because the film epitomises how certain love stories can end in tragedy yet still be gripping and fulfilling’. I personally don’t have any interest in Titanic by the way; that was purely an example for example’s sake! Another pothole that people fall down in their profile is directly stating they have a sense of humor; so does everyone else and it is highly subjective from person to person. Instead of saying what you are directly you need to demonstrate it through how you word your profile. Never use abbreviations such as ‘i luv boatz n smokez’ as it makes you look illiterate. If you struggle to type in plain English then use a word processor. Google drive has a built in word processor with full spell checking for example. If you don’t have Microsoft Word installed or something similar then sign up to Google and click on ‘Drive’ at the top. Problem solved. Keep the profile brief but effective. You are not writing your autobiography you are writing a summary of what makes you special for potential suitors to see. It should go without saying but never lie on your profile if you are seeking a more long term relationship. It’s not a case of ‘if’ your lies are found out it’s a case of when they will be found out and given enough time they will be! Keep your profile funny and confident without sounding like a fool and be sure to list your best features. Overall you need to sell yourself. One more key thing to note about your profile is to never use innuendo. Things such as ‘I really enjoy flying in the mile high club.’ are not only unnecessary but off putting to many potential suitors. Men are usually the ones to do this but women who are down on their luck can often use similar words. It is strongly recommend you avoid them at all costs because at the end of the day everyone enjoys sex so you have no need to prove this to anyone.
Part 2: Your Profile Picture A good profile picture of yourself is critical for a excellent profile. There are statistics out there that show that if someone has a profile on their picture they are twice as likely to get a response to mails they send out. Don’t hide away - get your best pictures up there. Be sure that the picture is at the most 11 months old. As an example do not use an old picture from school if you are nearly in your 30’s now. When you meet the person and they see someone other than the picture it will be an instant red flag to them and will ensure that both you and the person you are meeting have wasted their time. No one wants to date a liar. In terms of the photo itself be sure it’s a normal looking photo. If you are a man and flexing your muscles without your shirt on it may look nice to the women but it gives off the signal of you being a player or not taking the dating seriously enough. Alternatively they could assume that you would spend more time at the gym than with them if you have big muscles. As a woman it is best to not do the infamous trout pout pose. Men cringe at this kind of photo. Your best bet is to put up photos where you are either smiling naturally at the camera or smiling at something other than the camera. A smile goes a long way with men ladies! Also it is recommended that you keep your chest contained within your clothes because you will receive many messages from men seeking one thing only. If that is what you are looking for then flaunt the two girls as required!
You probably shouldn’t take a photo like this!
Part 3: Responses You may find that you will receive an overwhelming amount of response. Try not to panic; you should be flattered with all this attention! Simply go through the emails one a time and see if any of them interest you. Build a shortlist from the ones that you find interesting by adding them to favourites if the dating site has a feature such as that. If not simply make a note with good old pen and paper! Alternatively if you don’t receive many responses then don’t be disappointed. Be sure to double check your profile and photo. Submit it to one of the many profile review websites found online and above all sit tight and wait. This can happen to men or women so don’t assume your gender is anything to do with this. If you give up now you will never find Mr or Mrs right. When it comes to your first response be sure to comment on their interests and ask them questions on it as required. Alternatively if the person genuinely does not interest you then kindly turn them down. If they continue to harass you after that report them - the admins on dating websites really enjoy removing bad apples from their sites! Think of it as doing someone else a favour; by reporting their immature rejection behaviour you have stopped them acting like that to someone else. Be sure that in any message you send you don’t come across as creepy. Using terms such as ‘sexy’ or ‘gorgeous’ far too early would set off a major red flag in women’s heads if sent as a man. Likewise if you are a woman and give off similar signals then the man is likely to flag you as a woman who is easy to sleep with and is less likely to take you seriously. Naturally if you have met a few times in person don’t worry about such things but in the early phases keep it civil. Pretend the person you are talking to is someone you work with - build comfortable rapport with them. A key bit of advice for men (and sometimes women) is to never escalate the communication to outside of the dating website too early. If you ask for an email address or msn address too soon it becomes a big red flag. Take it calm and steady before escalating it beyond the scope of the dating website. As you communicate more with your potential partner you will get more of a feel for them. Never force anything upon a potential suitor.
Part 4: The First Date The general consensus of asking for the first meetup is that it is something that men should do. Never be pushing for the first meetup. Build rapport through the dating site message system first. Nobody likes to be pressured into meeting and it will lead to frustration over and over if you keep pushing for meetings as people reject you over and over. On the flip side don’t drag it on forever, once you feel you know the basics about the person then it’s time to arrange that first date. Don’t hesitate regardless of your gender - if you have had plenty of messages between each other then it is time to escalate it to real life. When you do meet then treat it as you would a normal date - dress nicely but not like you are going to a prom or a business meeting, get the small talk going based on what you know about each other and try to embrace their sense of humour. If you just don’t ‘feel’ it on the first date then try and give it one more try before you close the door for good with the person. The person could have just had a bad day or have been under pressure at work and they tried their best to not bring it to the date but failed. If they are the same on the second date then time to depart. Alternatively if you both ‘feel’ it then you have something really good going and no amount of guides or advice could possibly tell you what to do from this point. You will know instinctively if this person is right for you and you will be able to keep moving forward with him or her.
If it doesn’t work then it’s fine. Tell the person and move on.
Part 5: Diversify If you have only tried one or two online dating websites it is strongly recommended that you sign up to many as this significantly increasing your chances of finding what you want; be it a long term relationship or a casual relationship. See below for some of the best dating sites.
Cupid There has been a lot of controversy surrounding this site in its early days as a google search will demonstrate but they have picked up the pieces and now the site is now a solid contender. Age: 18+ Focus: Relationships Click here to check out Cupid.com or visit goo.gl/8UEX2X if the link isn’t clickable!
Flirt Flirt has more emphasis on the dating side of things than building relationships so it is more suitable for people who edge towards the casual side of things. That being said there have been many success stories of long term relationships materialising from sites such as this. Age: 18+ Focus: Dating and Casual Relationships Click here to check out Flirt or visit goo.gl/x63hl9 if the link isn’t clickable!
LoveAgain LoveAgain is targeted almost exclusively at the 40+ crowd. If you are 40 years or older it is strongly suggested that you check this one out as they have a significant member base for the older generations. Age: 40+ Focus: Relationships Click here to check out LoveAgain or visit goo.gl/vGSbFb if the link isn’t clickable!
UniformDating A rather unique dating site targeted at ladies and gentlemen that prefer men or women in uniform. Despite it’s unique nature there are many success stories on it. Age: 21+ Focus: Dating and Relationships Click here to check out UniformDating.com or visit goo.gl/72vvHH if the link isn’t clickable!
BeNaughty A dating site that makes its intentions very clear in the logo and name! That being said there is always a chance to meet your perfect partner here. Age: 18+ Focus: Casual Relationships Click here to check out BeNaughty or visit goo.gl/xgNhpY if the link isn’t clickable!
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