Page 1

January 2005


Would you pay for your card? p5

Volume 12, Issue 4


Get registered to vote in the general election. p10

Circulation 5000

Wall Hall What’s happening to the old campus? p12


Crush 26th, live to the nation from Hutton Hall p8



n October, the 2nd issue of the Universe reported on the muppet driving his Mercedes Benz who had managed to get his car engine impaled on the college lane bus bollard. This bollard remains extended creating a barrier approximately one meter high and only disappears below ground when it detects sensors which are mounted on all university buses, allowing them to pass. Once the bus passes over the bollard it immediately shoots back up preventing any other traffic from passing.

Exclusive! Universe investigates local estate agents, full report on page 7

Well, it’s happened again! This time a driver of a Volvo tempted fate, and lost. Continued on p3...



ast issue the Universe expressed concern regarding awareness week. The executive will now be holding another union awareness week at the end of January. To help promote union awareness, this issue of the Universe will have an awarness stamp as seen on the left on all relevent material relating to student union awareness. It is hoped that this will make

it clear that the exec have included the right material in this paper. Awareness week is held each year and as the name suggested its aim is to generate awareness of what the students’ union is all about. For thoes who dont know much about UHSU, as you read through this paper you will learn that it is more than just a bar and that a varity of services are offered.



Issue 4 Volume 12

Masters of the Universe and dismiss the motion that the union is just a bar. We’ve tried hard to “studentify” the paper from the start and I believe we’re almost there.

Editor in Chief Marek Nusl Vice President Communications & Media 01707 285 005 Editor Tamer Asfahani Assistant Editors News Editor - Vacent Music Editor - Jessica Sturman Film Editor - Ross Billington

Photos Marek Nusl Tamer Asfahani Advertising Miranda Hall Advertising and Fundraising Manager 01707 286157 Thanks to Tarquin Stevenson Chris Holt Sian Williams Sarah Wright Claire-Michelle Pearson Dave Venning Ciaran Pietzka Spike’s Mum! Dr Kiss Kiss Ian Williams

UHSU College Lane Hatfield Hertfordshire AL10 9AB

Tel: 01707 285 000 Fax: 01707 251 118 E-mail: Web:

For all the latest info on our student media check out:

Printed by:

Sharman & Co Ltd Peterborough PE1 5TD


elcome to the first Universe of the new year, and what a Universe! This issue has seen a dramatic rise in contribution, from the president proof reading articles to the independant chair of student council driving Tamer and myself to get food during our late night shift. The contribution from you, the students has been huge too, we’ve had a diverse range of stuff from you guys, but unfortunately we could not fit it all in, to those who’s work is missing from this issue, a big apology, and we shall keep it for the next issue. Keep writing to us, about anything, its your paper so put things in it. If we continue with this fantastic response them the paper can grow, literally pages can be added. Its been another all night session in the office so it is fair to say I am very sleep deprived, which seems to have a big effect on my dyslexia, Yes it gets worst. However I am so pleased with this paper I forget that I can’t spell! There’s tons of articles to recommend, but I’ll say with union awareness week coming up I’d primarily recommend that you read the articles with the UHSU union awareness stamps. This is to help highlight certain articles which inform the union activities

Also while I am on the topic of promoting articles, I’d like to recommend that you read the election pages (p10-p11). The topic is very important to todays students, and you have a right to have a voice. Enough about the paper, I will let you discover what lies beyond this page in your own time. Crush 1278am (www.crushradio. is still braodcasting 24 hours with the help of our sustainer service and on W Wedensday 26th January Crush will have a party in the Font Bar with our own DJ’s playing live to the world via the miracles of online streaming. I urge you all to come and support your radio station. ....ZZZZZZZ..... opps, must try to stay awake. Id like to thank the lovely ladies I share my office with, a fella who is really handy with computers and Yamer for finding a picture were I am the bitch (see below). Oh, and congradulations to Rosie and Adey who ae now engaged, may they have the brightest of futures, lots of love to both. x Well I really dont have the energy. call me!


Maz Marek Nusl V.P. Communications & Media 01707 285 005

religion. Of course I am, I am not attacking a single religion, and I don’t claim to be an expert in any field, but I do think I am qualified to comment on religion and the influence it has had on many countries, races and indiviuals.


nother night, another paper! It’s nearing 0700hrs and we are very very nearly done! It seems like such a long time ago we started. We have had council meetings, issues with servers and many more hiccups along the way. But here we are, standing proud, as always, with our paper ready to go! I didn’t have time to write a response to the response (can be found on page 26) I had with religion, so I am going to take some time and some space to do that now. First of I am absolutly delighted that someone responded. That article was written so that it could provoke some kind of response, which it did. I do agree with you, I am a journalist and should be more objective, but I would also like to defend some of my statements and your responses to them. Either I wrote them incorrectly or you just misinturpreted what I had said. First and foremost I did not ever imply that anyones beliefs are wrong, nor did I condemn the idea that anyone should promote their beliefs or religion. If that really were the case we wouldn’t have printed the story. Furthermore, you go on to say that I am generalising about

I appreciate your point with regards to human and Godly language, that is fine, but you can’t seriously be saying that people in power haven’t changed and used religion to justif justify some of their actions, effectively changing the word of God. Kings and Queens did it, in fact our Queen is apparently appointed by God. How? You are right to say that culture and upbringing have a lot to do with it, even I am a victim of that, but my utimate question was purely this: Why do we chose to believe? I am not trying to disrespect ect or undermine anyones beliefs, it is a genuine question. I believe to an extent because of fear. Next edition I promise I will write a better article and we can continue this debate, unless anyone else has something to say about it. All your thoughts are always welcome! Anyway, don’t have much room left! Reccomend the film page this month by a Mr Ross Billington (found on page 23). Funny to read. I hope you enjoy this issue. Please remember that all articles are welcome, but the next Universe deadline is the 9th of Feb, so make sure you get them in before then. We have had a lot more articles W and are finding that we need to cut some out! So be quick. Until next time guys... Tamer Asfahani Editor

It’s caption competition time! We editors thought we would humiliate ourselves for your enjoyment! Send your captions to our email address and the winner will get a special prize...!

Continued from front page... If the driver had bothered to read the Universe then he would have learned from the 2nd issue the dangers of trying to pass through this barrier. Perhaps he felt that his Swedish set of wheels was impregnable to damage, how wrong he was, though admittably there was less visible destruction then with the German vehicle. The V.P Communication & Media, Marek Nusl, “Maz” stated “ I am very concerned with the circulation of the paper, as obviously the driver had not seen a copy. This year’s Universe is now online to increase readership, and perhaps prevent another accident from taking place. However, be assured that if another muppet ignores the Universe’s warnings from the 2nd and now this issue then a camera man will be there to stitch him up in our fine publication”. The bollard has now been repaired, and continues to prevent ordinary road users from congesting College Lane. It remains to be seen whether a third ignorant driver will try his luck to shorten his journey by 5 minutes before the academic year is up. On a serious note, both occupants were lucky that the bollard did not extend under their front seats and that damage was only sustained to the car and not their persons. Their actions are both dangerous and stupid. It is felt by the universe that it is appropriate to end this short article with a quote from David Ball, Dean of Students after the first incident; “There will never be enough time for a car to follow a bus over the barrier and anyone trying puts themselves at considerable risk” .


Issue 4 Volume12


Tarquin’s Titillations H

ello! Is it me you’re looking for…

Sorry listening to music and typing is never a good thing. Well let me start by wishing you all a belated Happy New Year. I know it’s a bit late but what can one do? I hope everyone had a nice break didn’t eat or drink too much I know I did but that’s Xmas for you. Did anyone notice that T.V. was really good showing some old classics like Gremlins 1 & 2, Shrek (“that’ll do donkey, that’ll do”) and of course Commando, there are some funny parts especially at the beginning when he’s being shot at and he has to get his rifle from the shed, but he happens to have half an armoury. The other bit is when he takes on half an army, which is about 60 people at one time, shooting him from no more than 25ft and he gets one flesh wound but he kills them all. They don’t make them like they use to! However, on Xmas Day there was absolutely nothing on worth watching, no Back to the Future, Indiana Jones, James Bond not even Sound of Music. OK, Mary Poppins was on which is a classic but, that was it, I was gutted. I know a few people resorted to watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy back to back with the extras-that’s dedication. Anyway, we’ve one term gone and we have two left, which are going to go even quicker-next thing you know it will the summer holidays. So what can we expect in the coming weeks? Well we have Student Council Thursday 13th Jan 7pm, which is always important! The greatest radio show on Crush 1278am, which is live online via the UHSU website that will feature the Godfather of Crush and myself Mondays 6pm. Then we have the entertainment side of things of course we had a great end to the first term with Vernon Kay making an appearance at the Xmas

Ball, which was really cool (I won’t talk about the YMCA part of the night!!). Well we can expect some cool things in the coming weeks that you can see in the entertainments guide so I hope to see many of you out enjoying yourselves I know I will be. That just leaves me to wish you all the best of luck in the upcoming exams and may you all pass with flying colours. Word of the month “Pert” Quote of the month “Woh woh woh sweet child of mine!”

Mr T Tarquin Stephenson President 01707 285 004


Issue 4 Volume12

Would you pay for your NUS card? L


Marek Nusl “Maz” Reports...

ast year the sabbatical officers and the rest of the executive team attended NUS regional conference. Like many NUS events it did seem to go on forever, however once the phrase “ …pay for NUS cards…” was uttered eyebrows rose. Since then a number of rumors and allegations have swept past the student body, particularly, in the minority world of flounder, the students’ union forum which can incidentally be found at flounder2 . The most widely spread rumor is that NUS wants to start charging students for NUS cards. This is inaccurate, it has merely been suggested as a way to help NUS and local student unions out of financial problems. NUS does not have the power to start charging for NUS cards without the backing of the majority of Students’ Unions around the country. If this proposition reaches National Conference (were it would ultimately be voted on) be rest assured that your exec team and the NUS delegates vote for what we believe is in our

carried out with union officers and managers The research also concluded that the average amount that students were prepared to pay for the card in its current format was £6.82, and the average amount students were prepared to pay if additional benefits were added was £10.41.

are forwarded to our students. Students are not members of NUS they are however automatically members of UHSU unless they express a desire to opt out. From this they gain a UHSU membership card, with a nationally recognized “brand” commonly known as the NUS card.

“Now… it would be a bit naïve if NUS did not conduct some kind of study before suggesting such a controversial shake up of the card system.” students best interest. All students are encouraged to let their exec team know what they think. The purpose of the following report is to give a balanced argument so that you, the students aren’t dictated to by NUS or UHSU but that you make up your own minds and that you decide how you want your union run. Many see the NUS card as a discount card. It’s so much more. Whilst it provides discounts to HMV, Top Shop, free burger at Mc D’s, special offers in some clubs etc, a card holder possesses other, non financial benefits. Primarily it identifies them as a student and part of a national union. It allows them to join student clubs and societies, take part in the democratic process by voting and entrance into our student venues. The common misconception is that you will now have to pay for the card, and hence pay to become a member of NUS. UHSU is a member of NUS and it is through this relationship that the discounts

It is proposed that every student will still receive free of charge, this membership card. The NUS propose a launch of a sister “discount” card which will contain all the financial benefits. It will not be an NUS card merely a discount card. What does this mean for our students? Simply you will have your University ID card, a free NUS card, and the option of buying a discount card. The proposed price for this card is between £5 and £10, although realistically organizations tend to pick the higher figure, money speaks… The split of the income between NUS and local unions has been proposed 40% 60% in NUS’s favour. So how much is the card actually worth? NUS calculates that the card is worth in the region of £200. This reporter will assume that this is based on a hardcore user. However it will not cost £10 for the card with the existing discounts which can be found on the present NUS card. NUS are keen on evolving the kind of

discounts that we are all familiar with, in essence increasing the value for money. One suggestion is a certain percentage discount in supermarkets. No doubt that this would be a great financial burden lifted of students on their weekly shop, and mathematically the result of purchasing the card would make for a sound investment. On the down side implementation of such a scheme seems hard to imagine. The chances are that only one supermarket chain would be chosen as a partner, they would have to agree that its worth their while to grant NUS card holders a discount, after all big organizations

a controversial shake up of the card system. NUS commissioned a study by NOP, one of the world’s biggest research agencies. Two areas were covered qualitative, which consisted of 6 focus groups, and quantitative which included 1200 face to face interviews. NUS believes that the research was very positive. Many students value the card and were eager to suggest additional features. But the question remains, would you pay for the card? The research carried out reveal that in its current format 74% of 1st year students at higher education

“Many see the NUS card as a discount card. It’s so much more.” want to make a profit, and will not show a glance of interest if it is not profitable. If this is over come and an agreement is made, the practical problem arises, not all university and collages have an Asda or Tesco round the corner. Would students go out their way to travel to a Sainsbury’s, and if so, would it be finically beneficial? A Further hindrance to this idea is that some stores already have a loyalty card system set up, so with that in mind would a student be tempted by the NUS discount card if he or she already have a discount at a store? This is just one example how the NUS has suggested on increasing discounts on the proposed card.

institutions would pay for the card, 57% of 2/3rd year students (also at HE institutions) would pay for the card. In further education institutions 65% of students say that they would pay and students from 6th form colleges that would pay is 93%. The research showed that an even greater percentage were prepared to pay for the card if some improvements were made to it.

Now… it would be a bit naïve ïïve if NUS did not conduct some kind of study before suggesting such

…would pay for the card.

If improvements to the card was made then… • • • •

1st year HE – 92% 2nd/3rd year HE – 77% FE – 84% 6th form - 98%

Additional research is now being

Impressive results, however as Homer Simpson once said “ …you can use statistics to prove anything 70% of people know that” Though these stats seem in favor of paying for NUS discount cards, one may reconsider once they learn that these results came from 800 students interviews. A very small number when considering that our university alone has in the proximity of 20,000 students, 10,000 of which are NUS card holders at present. Using the later figure that equals to 12 % of students interviewed. However this figure crashed to under 0.5% (0.0002%) when examining the bigger picture of all student (a potential of 6 million) NUS card holders in the country. Can the results from 1200 students (under 0.5% on a national level) reflect a true representation of student feeling around the country and in our union? Hmm… NOP concluded that it will be possible to sell the NUS Card in 2005 for £5 - £10. In addition, the research program has revealed a number of improvements that can be made to further enhance the value of the card in the short, medium and long term. NUS are continually examining this data and it is hoped more research will be carried out. This report tried to focus on a balanced view, though admittedly it may have generated a negative feel. Ultimately you the students will be the deciding factor, let your executive team know your feelings on the mater or contact the National Treasurer, Martin Ings: and/or Kat Fletcher, NUS President via www. For those who feel strongly on this contentious. topic you can always run for NUS delegate in our student elections and attend NUS National Conference and vote on the future of the NUS card yourself.



Issue 4 Volume 12

Tuition Fees: What are they good for? By Maz Cook Are you angry, scared, or worried about your mounting debts….? You’re not alone. We are among the first generation of students having to pay tuition and in the near future top-up fees. What we do now could make the difference.

How much are we paying?


s if you didn’t know! Universitys prefere fees of £1,125 to be paid at the begining of the accademic year. That’s £3,375 paid after a three-year course. Then there is the small matter of the cost of living…. The average cost of a degree is now nearly £20,000. According to Barclay’s annual student surveys which is now in its tenth year, since the elimination of grants, student debt has increased by 544% and now totals over over £5 billion.

Why should everybody pay for my education?


hen you graduate you will earn more on average than those who don’t have a degree. You will therefore pay more tax. This means more of your money will go into education, and all other public services, compared to those who haven’t graduated. An English student that goes on to be a journalist may earn £70,000 a year. An English student who goes onto be a schoolteacher may earn only half of that. Typically vocational, non-profit occupations earn less. We will always need teachers, doctors, and those who are willing to sacrifice their time and effort for others. Do we want a society where every occupation earns the same amount? Otherwise how can we stop our future workforce being penalised for the most socially beneficial occupations? A society built on opportunity must put the cost on highearners, not high-learners. Remember, graduates will build the economy of tomorrow – we don’t deserve to be penalised for seeking an education that will benefit all.

What have been the consequences so far?


ore than half of lower income students currently work an average of 15 hours a week. Nearly half of them are concerned that working is adversely affecting their studies. Lack of financial support means the gap between those who can and can’t afford to concentrate is already affecting the quality of the degree achieved. Applications to medical school from students in the poorest social groups have decreased by 50% in the last five years. Is someone born into wealth more likely to become the best brain surgeon? If the answer to that is no, we must ask what quality workforce we will have if accident of birth, rather than talent and effort, determine success.

What have been the consequences of uni fees abroad?


n New Zealand a 2001 report revealing the impact of tuition fees showed that students from the richest schools

were five times more likely to attend university than students from poorer schools. Wherever tuition fees have been introduced around the world there has been a restriction of access of people from poorer backgrounds. In Canada after 10 years of tuition fee increases, fees have jumped by an average of 99 per cent and as much as 800 per cent on some courses. Ian Boyko, the National Chairperson of the Canadian Federation of Students has said: “The increase in tuition fees to improve quality is a failed experiment in Canada. It merely provided an excuse for further cuts to public education funding. We are facing huge social and economic problems brought about by increases in tuition fees. Students are graduating with debt levels akin to a mortgage but with no house.” (Source: NUS)

What difference will top-up fees make?


he financial gulf between the richest and poorest universities is likely to widen as a result of top-up fees. Universities will be driven not by demand from the workforce or from students but by what they judge will make them most money. It is also feared that such a market in education will lead to the financial collapse of entire institutions.

What is the point of campaigning – they won’t listen to us anyway?! Examples of successful protest include • Ordinary people getting the vote • The right to have trade unions • American civil rights movement (abolished slavery in the US) • Women getting the right to study at university • Independence for India • Better conditions and wages for ordinary workers Frederick Douglas said: “Those who profess to favour freedom, yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without ploughing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one: or it may be a physical one: or it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.”

What has been happening?


tudents held a successful demonstration in Cardiff on 2nd December, against top-up fees in Wales. Students from England joined their Welsh counterparts in solidarity. The Welsh assembly has already agreed in principle that variable top-up fees are wrong.

What Next?


he fight goes on. The new UHSU discussion society meets regularly to talk about all issues facing today’s students. Call into your Student Union office to join, with a passport photo and your NUS card. You can meet other students campaigning against fees, and really make a

difference. Why not drop us an email and we can let you know when we’re meeting next: uhsudiscussionsociety@y For more information on the fees campaign go to: newsandpressreleases/

What about voting?


tudents make up13% of electorate – count your parents and you can at least double that! If students speak up now and make it clear we are not backing down, any future government will have to listen. All is not lost; some of the biggest political parties in the country are backing the call to abolish fees:

Green Party “we believe in student grants and higher education being freely available to anyone who wants to invest their time in learning the skills to make a greater contribution back to our society”

Labour Party: • Introduced tuition fees in 1998 following ‘The Dearing Report’ • Have introduced top-up fees with a current cap of £3,000 (Blair opposed tuition fees when he was in opposition.)

Conservative Party: • Plan to abolish tuition fees and introduce commercial interest rates of up to 8% on student loans • This is considered highly regressive by critics, as it will benefit high earners and expose graduates in lower paid jobs to years of mounting debts

Liberal Democrat Party: Will “scrap tuition fees and top-up fees for students”

RESPECT Party “Believe in “Free, comprehensive education for all young people, from nursery to university. This includes the ending of tuition fees in higher education”

How do I register?


egistering to vote is easy – go to www.aboutmyvote. or ask at your Student Union office for more information. (ed: or check out page 10)


Issue 4 Volume12



Like your money? So do they...

UHSU run an lettings service. The office is located on the 1st floor of the Ele House and is open Monday to Friday from 10am to 5pm. For information on houses call 01707 286 152 or visit

118 Milwards

380 PW 5 Bedrooms, Water bill

included, Communal area.

18 Robinsway

325 PW 5 Bedrooms, Communal room, Driveway

28 Crop Common

252 PW 4 Communal room, Seperate Shower, New carpet, New beds Collect a full list of properties for the next academic year from the SU lettings office on the 1st floor of the Ele House


fter 3 years of living in a student house in Hatfield, what was it like? More importantly what have I learnt and what should other people know? When you come back to university in January there will be this huge rush and push to decide which new friends to live with and which of these lovely student houses you’ll have. You’ll pop into the various lettings agents of Hatfield and they’ll push a great big wad of paper in your hands of houses available for rental from early September. You’ll go round to the house, be greeted by some unsuspecting students and shown the beautiful surroundings. You’ll then probably decide that’s the best of a bad bunch, go to the lettings agents, give them over £300 each in deposits, sign all the ‘necessary’ bits of paper without having time to blink. September comes and you’re slightly nervous, yet excited, to be back and see everyone and move into the new house (which, by the way, you’ll have given an extra £270+ in money over the summer). So what will greet you? A lovely house, well maintained, cleaned by professionals over the summer, fuse boxes and boilers up to date to standards? Oh I wish. How you’ll wish too. Those small things, blue tack marks on walls, stains on carpets, cracked side-boards and bathroom suites, mould and lime scale will be what greets you generally. In fact, all those things that students from the previous year got charged over £300 each to put right (many months after they left) by the landlord and lettings agent still haven’t been done. Instead they’ll put off cleaning the house and take your deposit (or most of it) when your contract is up claiming that you made the mess. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a bad tenant, I paid my bills on time and was house proud. I’m just bitter. Very, very bitter. So, the main letting agents of Hatfield (not to mention Welwyn Garden City & Stevenage) who have the monopoly of the student market, have over 300 student houses for let, take £300 off each tenant for deposits, from approximately 5 students in each dwelling. Have your deposit cashed from April before you’ve moved in until on average December after you’ve moved out. 21 months, for an 11 month let. Nice. Let us take some time to calculate how much money these agents are making from just deposits alone, shall we? Please bear in mind that landlords, by law, can’t charge you for ‘general wear and tear’. Back to the calculations: for arguments sake let us say that you

Becki Warmgom

and your housemates (average of five per house) have put a £300 deposit on a house each. If they take, say, £100 off each student, they are left with a grand total of £500 per house. So £500 from each house will mean that, from deposits alone, £150,000 is being made. Lovely. That Aston Martin that I’ve wanted for oh so long is now looking viable. Might set up shop. Let’s call it “Miss R. Hood Lettings”. Mission statement being ‘gives to the rich and takes from the poor’. Please, please talk to the students in the house that you’re visiting. What’s the landlord like? What are the agents like? Electrics all sound? The list is endless. Use some common sense. The charity ‘Shelter’ was trying to push through a ‘National Tenancy Deposit Scheme’ which has an independent final say on whether to take money off deposits. Effectively this means that all landlords and agents would have to sign up to a good landlord/bad landlord scheme. Great for all students, but in theory it has to go through (and get to) government first. You’ll have to get your MP to raise the issue. You reckon she’d write back to a ‘concerned member of her constituent’? Heard funnier on the 10 O’clock News. When hearing that they were taking £260 off my and my housemates deposits (for a spotless house) I (GT, standing for Good Tenant) asked the Very-HelpfulCustomer-Service-Orientated-Woman (VHCSOW) in the agents office “who do I complain to?” (VHCSOW) ‘Me’ (GT) “But I want to complain about you, who’s your boss?” (VHCSOW) “I am my boss.” (GT) “But you must be employed by someone.” (VHCSOW) “Oh he only pops in now and again, he’s very busy,” (GT) “But there must be someone?” (VHCSOW) “Just send your letter of complaint to me, and I’ll deal with it”! Bearing in mind she had ignored my calls for a month, ignored my letters, told her colleague to tell me that she wasn’t in (when she was because I walked passed the office while on my mobile), how could I trust anything she said? But don’t worry, she is a very helpful, customer service orientated woman. Ok, so I do suffer from brief moments of stupidity, usually alcohol related. But I promise you I was sober on all of the above occasions. At the moment, realistically you can’t

really do much, just cover your backs. Get everything in writing. Take photos when you move in and when you move out. If they charge you for blue tack marks or stains pop back to the house and investigate the allegations. If you feel you are being charged for no reason then don’t sit on it. St. Albans small claims court will be more than happy to judge ‘what’s fair’ and ‘who’s right’, hence keeping copies of all correspondence. You can claim for anything that’s unfair at the Small Claims, maybe like keeping your deposit for 21 months? Hmmmmm how much interest is that? At the end of the day, the more students that see it through and get back whats theirs, the more they might just think about not ripping us off. P.S I forgot to mention the £15 admin fees for being late with any rent, plus the £100 fee if you want to move out. Have a nice day.

Lettings Office Did you know that the students’ union provide a lettings office, it works in much the same way as a normal estate agents but with a few key differences. UHSU Lettings gives non-biased advice and are friendly and approachable. We are run as a service to you, the students, and not as a commercial operation We let on a shorter term so you are only paying for when you are in the property You do not pay any administration fee We offer students who do not currently have people to live with a group gathering service, bringing students together to find a house We are fair with deposits We have 98 houses available to rent

Employment Office The students’ union also offers an employment office, signing up about 2500 students a year we provide frequent work at 28 companies through our agency. If you would like a job in a fixed location however we do have a jobs board in the Ele house. Also don’t forget to attend the jobs fair on the 1st of March


News Round-Up

Issue 4 Volume 12



ecember 26th saw the disastrous effects of the largest earthquake in 40 years. More than 150,000 people have been estimated to be killed by the disaster. The tsunami even got as far as Af Africa. The impact was so great that scientists believe that a fraction of a second of our known day would have been lost. Governments of the world have pledged almost $5bn so far towards the disaster and repayments of international debts from these countries (who owe $272bn between them) have been frozen. The task of identifying the decaying dead has been the worst part for families with loved ones missing. With almost 400 Britons unaccounted for, the long wait begins. The Univesrity has issued this statement: “The University is aware that a number of International students live in the area effected by the Tsunami and that they or their families may have been directly involved. The Counselling Service and the Chaplaincy are ready to offer support if those students feel it would be helpful. If those students need to interrupt their studies to return home then the University will be sympathetic to their financial position and will do everything possible to allow students to return in 2006 without penalty. Any students in this position should approach the Student Centre on the College Lane Campus. Any other students effected by the disaster can, of course, approach the Counselling Service if they wish.”

WHAT IS THE STUDENTS’ UNION AND WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP? On Tuesday 25th January the Students’ Union are having a fundraising day to raise money for the Asia tsunami appeal. Throughout the day there will be a variety of stalls including a cake stall, raffle, jumble stall and bookstall. How you can help; do you have old textbooks that you no longer use that you would like to donate to the tsunami appeal to be on sale on this day? If you do, please drop them in to the Volunteer Centre in the Students’ Union before the 25th January. If you would like to volunteer on this day by running a stall or selling raffle tickets please email Naomi at Also, don’t forget to come along to the Students’ Union on Tuesday the 25th to support the appeal, buy a cake, a book or a raffle ticket. If anyone has any other ideas of how to raise money for the Tsunami appeal or would like support for an event they would like to run, also contact Naomi at the Volunteer Centre. Naomi Marsh Students’ Union Volunteer Co-ordinator

because we’re a newspaper



tudents from low income backgrounds will be forced to reconsider longer courses, as universities look set to charge full fees as medical students plunge further into debt The number of poorer students taking up key professions is set to dwindle as universities decide to charge the full £3000 and medical students find their debts have soared, said the National Union of Students (NUS) today. The comments came as the British Medical Association (BMA) found that the average fifth year medical student is in debt by £19,248 - 16% higher than last year - and many owe more than £30,000. Before Christmas it was revealed that students are likely to face a fee of £3000 for the one year teaching course (PGCE), prompting concerns that vital professions such as medicine and teaching will see a drop in numbers as top up fees are introduced. Yesterday, the head of the Office For Fair Access (OFFA), Sir Martin Harris, said that he expected most universities will charge the full £3000 in fees from 2006. NUS Vice President Education Hannah Essex said: “We are not surprised at the BMA findings that medical students are facing more and more debt, both whilst studying and on placement. This is a worrying trend throughout the student movement and is set to increase dramatically when variable fees are introduced in just eighteen months time.” “Students from low-income backgrounds are already severely under-represented in medicine, and the prospect of £20,000+ of debt before variable fees have even been introduced will put them off applying in the first place.” “The government will be focussing on improved health and education services in the run-up to the general election this May. But with such huge price tags on degrees in these subjects, the government may well find themselves without the key workers to deliver their promises” Essex added.



he last four Britons held in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, will be home “in weeks” stated Jack Straw, Foriegn Secretary. The Britons have been held in an American military prison without being

tried. The US claims that, although none of their ca captives have been tried, it is essectial to keep these potential dangers locked away while “fighting the war against terrorism”. Somehow the US have managed to find yet another loophole for holding, dare I say, Prisoners Of War.



S officials and Intelligence has confirmed reports that it has stopped looking for weapons of mass destruction. Cheif US investigator, Charles Duelfer, last year reported that Iraq had no WMD, biological or chemical, when the US-led forces went into Iraq two years ago. Former head of UN weapons inspections Hans Blix also said there was no surprise in the announcement. Mr Blix said he assumed it would be natural for the United States to now report their finding to the UN Security Council “because the US took the inspections out of the hands of the UN to undertake it themselves”.



srael has welcomed the result and urged Mr Abbas to clamp down on militant Palestinian groups. Mr Abbas has indicated he wants to meet Mr Sharon as soon as possible. Israeli officials say Mr Sharon is prepared to hold security talks with the new Palestinian leader, but full-scale peace negotiations will have to wait. US President George W Bush has said he will invite Mr Abbas (also known as Abu Mazen) to Washington - something he refused to do with his predecessor, the late Yasser Arafat.



HREE people have died and two others have been reported missing after the gale force winds influenced floods which struck the north of England early this week. Carlisle was one of the worst hit areas. Environment Minister, Elliot Morley Morley, stated that a £20m flood scheme for the city had been drawn up before Saturday’s

severe weather conditions started and were in the process of being finalised.



assan Jihad, 19, and two brothers, aged 16 and 17, all from Peckham in south-east London, were charged on Thursday with the 10-year-old’s murder. They were remanded in custody until 14 January after appearing at Camberwell Green Magistrates’ Court on Friday. Damilola bled to death after being stabbed in the thigh with a broken bottle on his way home from school. Police have confirmed the group had previously been arrested over the killing but were not charged at the time.



ir Mark Thatcher has left South Africa after pleading guilty over his involvement in an alleged coup plot in Equatorial Guinea. The son of former UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was fined the equivalent of US$500,000 (£265,000) and given a four-year suspended jail term. Sir Mark, who denies any knowledge of the plot, agreed a plea bargain and will now co-operate with investigators.



e are taking this opertunity to promote a spectacula super dooper event due to take place in Hutton Hall on 26th January. Crush 1278am (www. will be broudcasting live to the nation. The student radio station’s DJ’s will be spinning all kinds of vinal and if the last Crush nite, which took place in the font in November is some thing to gone on, this is sure to be a big success. Make sure you get your tickets early early, at only £3 why not? Support your students radio stations, and now listen online to great shows like, Dr kiss kiss & Monkey Nipples, DJ Sumo, The Godfateher & T, The A Te T am, Urban Essance, Metal for the Masses and many more. Let Crush come in your ears!




n his 2000 election campaign, Tony Blair uttered the infamous three words- “Education, education, education.” However, he missed out an important word: debt. In September 2004, a Royal Bank of Scotland survey revealed that 40% of students now have part- time jobs to avoid debt. Is this going to be the beginning of the end for peace of mind after graduation? Is debt too big a price to pay for a university education? A queue forms at the bar. A girl impatiently crosses her arms. I am sitting in the Elehouse, a student bar at the University of Hertfordshire. It is lunchtime and five bar staff are rushed off their feet as students pile in. I manage to arrange an interview with Darren Matthews, a third year Business Studies undergraduate student Darren, also a student union officer, has been working at

the bar since his first year at the university, averaging 16 hours a week. Sitting in the crowded café, Darren explains how he has to work to be able to afford university: “I have no other choice. I have to work to pay for my living expenses.” Like most students, Darren has a loan and an overdraft, yet works to make ends meet. According to figures obtained by a Royal Bank of Scotland survey, in September 2004, 40% of students have part-time jobs. The government’s proposals for top-up fees will inevitably create more situations similar to Darren’s.

taken out loans. Inevitably, with more students taking out loans and borrowing larger sums of money, student debt has escalated. The debts of students graduating in 2003 were two and a half times more than those who graduated in 1998. If the government introduces top-up fees, the Conservative party have estimated that student debt could escalate to as much as £15,000 by 2010.

In recent years the cost of higher education has escalated, due to increased demands for university education. This increase has also come as a result of university underfunding for a number of years. The Student Loan Company published information stating how the increase in cost has meant that more students have

No one likes being in debt, least of all students. However, many, like Darren, have come to accept that debt is unavoidable and that there are more positives than negatives in acquiring a degree. Student debt will undoubtedly be a topical issue in the forthcoming election campaigns, especially if Labour get re-elected.

The university are unable to comment on the situation at this time, as no conclusion has been reached as to whether they will introduce the top-up-fees.



ive minutes. That’s all it takes for you to help change the future of university education.

would like to study. This information will also be fed back to institutions so that they can improve what they offer.

January 21st sees the launch of the first National Student Survey (NSS) at University of Hertfordshire. NUS hails the survey as an opportunity to shape your institution and higher education for the future.

NSS is the first survey of its kind. The Higher Education funding bodies in England, Wales and Northern Ireland have set it up with input from universities and NUS.

NSS is a new national initiative, which will ask all final year students in England, Wales and Northern Ireland for their views on the quality of their courses and universities. The results will be available online to help future students choose what and where they

If you are included in the survey you will be e-mailed by Ipsos UK, an independent research company, and invited to fill in the survey online. Or go direct to www.thestudentsurvey. com where you can also find out more about the survey. Hannah Essex, Vice President of Education for the NUS said:

“The National Student Survey gives final year students a unique opportunity to inform future students about the quality of their student experience.” “Prospective students will be able to compare standards in a number of institutions giving them valuable information, which can help in making choices about their Higher Education. I hope that finalists will take a few minutes to share their experience with the next generation of students.” It only takes five minutes to fill in the National Students Survey. But it will help tomorrow’s students make the right choice for their future.

UHSU BICYCLE SALES & REPAIR EMPORIUM £20 Standard frame mountain bike £25 Full suspension frame £30 Racing Frame Flat rate repair price Tutorials – learn how to fix your bike Mike – General Manager 07742626609 9am to 7pm

Issue 4 Volume12

Uni Schumi


The surealist view of campus life by Robert Seery So what did we learn from the winter ball? Well firstly 25 pints of anything is dangerous to both you and your carpet (dear god it was like ‘The Shining’ with the elevator doors…..don’t ask). Secondly alcohol may make you talk like a tough guy but it doesn’t give you the ability to back it up. In fact fighting is even harder when you can’t maintain your balance. Thirdly, as I said last time we spoke, all men dance like they have fire ants in their pants.And lastly when your drunk and somebody invites you “sit in with the band”, even if you misheard them it doesn’t give you carte blanche’ to do things in the drum kit. On that drunken yet light hearted note I welcome to the first Uni Schumi column of 2005, as ever I’m Richard Whiteley’s illegitimate son Robert Seery (the extra e in my sir name stands for excellent… or egg… I don’t know) and I welcome you back to another surreal year of university. First off I’m sending out a belated happy Christmas and New Years to my regular readers (all 4 of them). Unless you lived in the north, abroad or have bad dandruff, chances are you didn’t have a White Christmas but that’s no reason to be sad. It’s freezing outside and I’m still cramming myself with chocolate – and deep down that’s what Christmas is all about: Cold weather and confectionary. I considered opening this month with an apology to all those I offended and/ fell on during my drunken ramble at the winter ball (Channel 4 Presenters bring out a alcoholic trait in me seldom seen) but rather than name names (mainly cause the evening was a block of grey for me) I’m just going to say sorry to the students, barstaff and bouncers of the university for calling you what I did as loud as I did. But enough apologising and lamenting of all things drunk, let’s talk 2005. 2005 is finally here which means my term at the university is almost over. It means I have to buckle down and get some serious drinking…I mean thinking done. Another big event on the horizon is the Student union awareness. Now I know your thinking “Politics? Bleh!” but seriously that’s how people like George W get in to office so I urge you all to get involved when the election comes round. Now the big deal at the moment is anxiety. Bleh! Anxiety is one of those problems that have good PR. Follow me on this one, you might learn something. Friend of mine at the moment is tearing out his hair going “Rob, Exams are tres stressful”. I look that guy in the eye and say “Sure exams are stressy, they’re suppose to be… but is it really worth losing your head about?”. I know I know, exams are important, I

don’t question that, nor do I question that failing is some thing that will bum you out. However failing at a test is nothing worth crying over. In fact (true story), I failed an exam once and you know what? Next time it made me want to pass even more. Ok it’s not the most fun story ever but the trick is to make a positive out of a negative. In case you missed it last month (and I know people in Roehyde were welding their walls back together after a night of partying so it’s possible), I now cohost a rock and metal radio show on the university’s own radio station “Crush 1278am” with my good buddy Piggarro99 (whom I’m betting is reading this issue in search of STD gags like most weeks). If you haven’t heard the show yet I urge you all to set your dials to 1278am every Wednesday between 710 or join us online at http://www.uhsu. The response thus far has been cool. I have great memories at the Ball when the pretty kitty I brought along was told of mine and Piggarro’s hilarious show which was the highlight of their week. Ok he was obviously drunk but it was still a compliment. Speaking of Mr Pig, Mucho Props go out to him for raising over a £100 (I have no idea what the final figure was but I know it was over a hundred) for RAG. How did he raise this much I hear you ask? Did he wax Jonno’s Bikini line, shave Chris Holt’s head or chase Ian Williams with some kind of stick? No dear reader its much worse, for a week Mr Pig is going to be stone cold sober! Ok it may not sound that impressive, but Piggarro99 is notorious for drinking bleach and using it as mouth wash. For this guy, sobriety is like a bush tucker challenge, so it’s pretty impressive.One of the more ignored entertainment nights here at the university is the Elehouse Comedy night. Now I’m not talking about “Mr Quiz” Chris Holt and his amusing fashion choices, rather that alternate Thursday event that brings everybody I know (with the exception of Daniel Johnson – Hah named and shamed!) together. Since I’ve been at the university I think I’ve only missed one comedy night, and at all those I’ve been to, I’ve had my socks rocked off in amusement. So this month I’m recommending Comedy Night as a great Font alternative, even if you’re a moody blue I’m sure your have a chuckle. Finally this month I want to end on a high note (although middle c has served me well till now), my resolutions for this year. Now unlike most peoples, this year I’m not going to pledge to eat less chocolate or do more press ups. No this year, I’m going to focus on doing what university life is all about – I’m gonna get wasted! Yay for education!


Election Feature

Vote or lose your be heard! Issue 4 Volume 12


eing a student at the University of Hertfordshire sometimes isn’t easy. It can be frustrating not having our thoughts and feelings on the University and the wider environment heard. With activities such as RaG (Raise and Give), the building of the new postgraduate medical school with Luton and Cranfield Universities, the Business Partnership Office running schemes with students helping out local businesses, and the UHSUs’ volunteer centre projects, we are an active part of the community who should use our right to have our say. Voting gives us the power to make some changes. Now, before you all groan and turn the page, hear me out for a moment. As shown in the US Presidential Election where every vote counted, you do have the power to change things. The Welwyn and Hatfield parliamentary constituency is one

of the most marginal political constituencies in the country. In the controversial 2000 US Presidential Elections just a few hundred votes in Florida made all the difference - a few dozen votes in Welwyn and Hatfield could have a similar impact, there are literally only a few votes in it! Voting is important. If you don’t vote, you effectively lose your say on important national and local issues. It may not seem relevant to you but politics affect many aspects of students’ lives, from the price of a pint in the union bar to the standard of accommodation, so it’s vital that you have your say. Other issues that affect students include: · Tuition fees · The structure of education · Parking · NHS

· The war in Iraq · Regeneration · Housing

Students must show MPs that we will vote on the issues that affect us. We should show them that we have to be listened to, precisely because of the voting impact that we can make. If all students registered to vote, this would send the message to all political parties that students are well aware of their voting power as citizens. Suddenly, the MPs will be very interested to hear what students feel about their policies. To vote you must: · Be registered to vote and · Turn up at the polls on the day or better still apply for a postal vote It can be difficult to get to the polling on the day of the election

so why not sign up for a postal vote? Enclosed are forms to apply to register to vote and to apply for a postal vote. Alternatively: Phone: Welwyn Hatfield Town Hall and ask for the Electoral Registration Department on 01707 357000

Post: Electoral Registration Department Welwyn Hatfield District Council, Council Offices, Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire, AL8 6AE Internet: to download the appropriate postal vote application form and send it to the Electoral Registration Department at Welwyn Hatfield District Council When do you have to register by? Although the date of the next General Election is not known for certain it is likely to be on the

same day as the County Council Elections on Thursday 5 May 2005. To ensure that you are registered for a postal vote you need to apply: · 7 working days before the date of the election (i.e. Thursday 28 April 2005 for the County Council Elections) · For changes to details to your postal vote allow 14 working days (i.e. Thursday 21 April 2005 for the County Council Elections) It only takes seconds to register! If you’re not sure about who to vote for, you’ve got plenty of time to read up on the issues that affect you. And look out for more articles about voting in Universe, which will try and give you a balanced overview of the parties and their manifesto’s to help you make an informed decision.

Candidates Question Time

Grant Shapps 1.Where did you go to university? Manchester polytechnic 2. If you could go to university now and study any course, what would you choose? Business again, I’d like to learn more about online business 3. If you could join any university club or society what would you choose? Probably the beer society, like I was involved in at the time! 4. Who do you most admire? Richard Branson 5. What does the university bring to Hatfield? Excellent sports facilities, employment, lots of students with specific skills to the area. 6. What is the most important local issue to you? The perceived overcrowding in Hatfield. There are lots of vehicles per household, in houses that were not designed for lots of people. 6. What do you think is the biggest national issue? The war in Iraq. 8. Are you proud or ashamed of your student days? Proud, I did nothing to be terribly ashamed of! 9. Why should students vote? Otherwise they don’t get a voice, there is no point thinking that the world could be different or better but not trying to make a change.

Daniel Cooke 1.Where did you go to university? Didn’t go to university. University of life. 2. If you could go to university now and study any course, what would you choose? History 3. If you could join any university club or society what would you choose? Liberal democrats, United Nations Youth, anything political, social or historical 4. Who do you most admire? Nelson Mandela 5. What does the university bring to Hatfield? An amazing cross section of the global village. Excellent facilities that can be shared by the university and the community. Long term links with a number of great people. 6. What is the most important local issue to you? The preservation of the healthy environment. 7. What do you think is the biggest national issue? The war. Our participation in an illegal war. 8. Are you proud or ashamed of your student days? Very proud. When I was eighteen I led a local group in a protest against the war in Vietnam, it was covered in the Welwyn and Hatfield Times. We were dubbed the Pro Hanoi Hooligans! 9. Why should students vote? Because it is their duty to society and themselves to use a vote that if they were in many other countries, they wouldn’t get.

right to

Election Feature

Issue 4 Volume12


Endorsed by...

I am baffled by the number of young people who do not exercise their right to vote as I impatiently waited for my 21st Birthday before the privilege was granted! I fully endorse your campaign in its threefold focus. Students may be living here for what they consider the short term, but circumstances do change and even in three or four years, local issues may affect them as directly as national. Everyone should register and then make a decision whether they will exercise their right and what I would call a ‘duty’ to vote.

Now that I have a voice I can bitch about tuition fees, housing issues, the whole lot!

Election time is the only time when local and national politicians and other decision makers really have to take note of what the electorate are saying. I really do hope you are able to energise the main body of local students to become involved and I am happy to offer

Cllr Daniel Cooke Parliamentary Spokesperson WH Liberal Democrats Leader LibDem Group WelwynHatfield Council 01707 322724 , 077 18001496 1 Redwoods Digswell Park Welwyn Garden City Hertfordshire AL8 7NR

Ballot Box

I’m delighted that UHSU has taken this initiative to encourage voting amongst students at the General Election. Our democracy only thrives if everyone gets involved and students have a really big part to play in deciding who runs this country. If you don’t vote, you won’t get a say in which laws are passed and some, like the funding of higher education, have adirect impact on your life. Kind regards,

Grant Shapps Melanie Johnson 1.Where did you go to university? University College London Kings college, Cambridge 2. If you could go to university now and study any course, what would you choose? My orignal chionce - Philosophy

Parliamentary Spokesman Welwyn Hatfield Constituency

UHSU is running this campaign because students should register as they have a right to voice their opinions. Many students will spend their ‘university days’ living in the local area where many issues will affect them; so registering their vote will give them a prime opportunity to influence who will look after all their needs throughout that time. This will also have an effect on who will run the country

3. If you could join any university club or society what would you choose? Any to do with music of film

You have the power!

4. Who do you most admire? Nelson Mandela

Tarquin Stephenson

5. What does the university bring to Hatfield? A very significant contribution to the economic, cultural and sporting life to the town

UHSU President 01707 285 004

6. What is the most important local issue to you? The provision of a modern , multi-purpose hospital in Hatfield. 7. What do you think is the biggest national issue? The delivery of good public services - health, education and community action 8. Are you proud or ashamed of your student days? Neither, but privileged to have had a university education N 9. Why should students vote? Every one should vote - the univerasal franchise was only achived after a massive struggle be our forebears

It is so easy to assume that just one vote won’t make a difference and this is a frequent excuse of non-voters. It is simply not true - every vote counts and by voting in elections you can make your voice heard. The issues facing students are so different to other groups in society - it is vitally important that politicians take students concerns seriously. This can only happen if students use the power of the vote. For these reasons, I wholeheartedly endorse UHSU’s campaign to encourage students to register for voting.

Prof. R.J.T. Wilson Vice-Chancellor


Issue 4 Volume 12


Whatever happened to… Wall Hall? For all you former Wall Hall students wondering what is happening to the old place.


or those of you who don’t know what Wall Hall is, I shall give a brief overview, Wall Hall used to be the home of the faculty of humanities, languages and education until the summer of 2003, the site was then closed and sold to a private developer when de Havilland opened its doors, Wall Hall was situated in Aldenham, near Watford and used to be the holiday home of JFK way back when, it became a women’s teaching college after the war and then was amalgamated into Hatfield Polytechnic.

Wall Hall. The place is barely recognisable from its previous self, walking along the road where the halls of residences once were we see that Kennedy court and the somewhat infamous Binghams halls have been completely destroyed, and some new 5-bedroom multi-million pound houses are being built on them, about 30 in all. Walking around the corner (avoiding a huge scary looking contraption driving towards me) we are met with what used to be Farm. Although now there is not a lot left of it. I decided to go and check out the ‘fitness centre’ which was best described as a barn, I was greeted by a rather large truck now carrying most of the centre, I’m sure that it’s one building students from Wall Hall wont miss greatly. I turned to continue my nostalgic tour of Wall Hall. As I walk down towards the mansion I see a bulldozer taking a

“I become the last student to ever enter the Wall Hall bar.”

So what happened to the old place I hear you cry impatiently, though that may well just be the voices in my head. Well the short answer to that is plenty. The bulldozers moved in earlier this year and didn’t waste any time in demolishing the old style 1960’s buildings, the halls of residences and yes the beloved Wall Hall bar is now truly a thing of the past (sob). During the summer we decided to take a quick trip over to Wall Hall to see what was being done there for ourselves. After donning a very attractive yellow jacket, wellies (that were far to big) and a lovely fetching hardhat I was allowed to roam free on the building site that is now

disliking to the LRC (I’m sure we’ve all felt that way at one point or another during our courses). I look over towards the mansion from here and can clearly see it, as the refectory is no longer there as you can see from the picture. Of course the mansion is staying, as it is a grade 2 listed building and will be converted into a number of luxury flats. Taking a quick walk down to the mansion I try and get into the mansion to have a bit of a snoop around only to have a prefab wall thrown out of a window and nearly land on my head as they rip the mansion back to its bare shell. Taking a quick leave of absence from the mansion as I’m kind of attached to my head I go on a mission to find out what has happened to the holy grail, or the Wall Hall Bar as it was also known. not an easy task considering the fact that there is rubble all over the site, fences everywhere blocking your path and the fact I’ve only ever been there then I have been s***faced. So after about 15 minutes climbing over what remains of the geography block and farm I find a footpath I seem to remember, I follow it around and end up at the back of the Wall Hall bar, Alas it hasn’t been knocked down yet!! So after clambering over a big security fence (don’t tell anyone)

and falling down the other side, I become the last student to ever enter the Wall Hall bar. It’s clear to see that the bar won’t last much longer as there is rubble everywhere. Everything of any use has been cleared out and the rubbish has been piled up into a huge heap by the door. The bar however is still relatively intact as can be seen from the picture (told you it was a lovely jacket didn’t

I). I took a quick wander around and found something I recognised from the old days, it was the old video camera from above the bar so naturally in a typical student style I picked it up and took it, it is now sitting proudly in my office for all to see. I bid a fond farewell to the old beast and made my exit back over the rubble that was previously some of the teaching accommodation (getting lots of bizarre looks from builders as I was now carrying a huge wooden camera). I got back to the main reception for the site to learn that the bar was to be knocked down the next day, now that’s what I call good timing. So what are the plans for the whole site now? I hear you cry. Well don’t fear for I shall tell you.

The new Wall Hall.


s I touched on earlier the whole site is to be redeveloped by a company called Octagon (, who specialise in luxury homes. The plans for Wall Hall include a total of 124 new homes. Many of these are five bedroom multi million pound luxury homes on the former halls of residences, a slight upgrade from Kennedy and Binghams! But also the mansion and stables will be regenerated to create new luxury apartments. Amongst the plans also includes new terraced housing (still worth a few quid though, I’d imagine). These will range from 1 bedroom to 5 bedrooms and be a mixture of detached, semis and terraced houses. Look out in future issues of universe for an update on Wall Hall and the building going on. If you are interested in seeing the rest of the pictures from Wall Hall then just come into the volunteer centre and ask for Ian and I’d be happy to show them to you. I also have a video or two from the site, which make interesting viewing.

By Ian Williams


Artistic Freedom V’s ‘Religious Sensitivities’

t may seem like a while ago, but I feel that the issue of the controversial play ‘Behzti’ (dishonour) was never really satisfactorily resolved. I hope I’m not the only one who wonders what the hell happened and why the play from Birmingham was cancelled, just because a group of people didn’t agree with its concept. Gurpreet Kaur Bhatti, a Sikh woman, wrote the play, which depicts sexual abuse and murder in a Sikh temple. She has received threats of violence and the performance had to be cancelled when some of the 400 Sikh protestors outside tried to storm the theatre, attacking security guards and breaking windows. More than 800 people had to be evacuated. The best part of this story is that Gurdial Singh Atwal, a former cochairman of the city’s Council of Sikh Gurdwaras, and a local councillor says that the author is only to blame for the violence. “Who is provoking this violencewho is creating this anger but the author herself?”

“Of course I condemn violence wherever it occurs,” Atwal claims, “We are a peaceful and law abiding community”. Ermm.... yeah, tell that to the five police officers who were injured in the riot outside the theatre. Another voice has recently joined the debate. The Roman Catholic Archbishop of Birmingham said that the Sikh community had “acted in a reasonable and measured way” in representing their concerns over the play...... Maybe the nice Archbishop didn’t hear about the destruction of a foyer door and the broken windows of a restaurant, caused by the Sikhs ‘representing their concerns’.

Can men and women just be friends?

Universe has learnt recently that members of the student body are involved, along with Student Union staff members, in a secret and hidden swingers club. These allegations were taken seriously by Universe as the editorial team felt they were being left out, and further investigations were undertaken. Our sources, who can’t be named for legal purposes (this is real, we aren’t just being anal) verified and confirmed findings by Universe reporters that a group in the student body had formed an unofficial swingers club.

The question begs though, if there is demand for a swingers club then why not approach the Vice President for Clubs and Societies? I am sure that Miss Wylde can’t refuse this request if there are

ow before I start I have so many things I want to say. Ok three. Firstly I want acknowledged that when I started this column I was painfully aware that if I ever tackled a subject like this I would look like some desperate wannabe Carrie Bradshaw. I intend to stay very firmly on my side of the line and if I stray I will reprimand myself with a Cosmopolitan. Secondly, when I asked my friends for an answer to this question, God forbid I should have an opinion of my own, they only offered one-word answers; namely yes or no. This was not helpful, so any arguments I put forward are conjecture and hyperbole - if you don’t know what these mean look them up. And finally, as a literature student I have to do this; clarify the question. The important section left out of the question, as I read it, is ‘…without sex getting in the way.’ Hence the Ms Bradshaw reference.

would never want to know your friends biblically is because the female dilemma would ultimately be, ‘with whom could you share this solid gold gossip?’ How could you go to your mates the next day, with a hangover no doubt and ask for a cuddle and the pity you feel you so richly deserve, when one of those proffering open arms is the

this is conjecture you understand, wild and crazy conjecture.

one with whom you boinked last night? Life is designed to help you people, please take heed.

My gut reaction to the question was, ‘yes! Of course!’ I have lots of male friends with whom I have not shared the Joy of Sex. However, is the very fact that they’re my friends the reason I don’t want them boning me? Not for the naff and frankly over-used and sickly sweet reason that I don’t want to spoil our friendship. Many times in the past I know I’d have gladly thrown away a perfectly good friendship for a bit of slap and tickle. But the main reasons for not wanting to do the wild thang with my male friends are because firstly I’m a taken woman and very happy I am too. The second is that once you become friends with people you see all sides of them poorly, drunk, sad, odd etc. This is normally enough to convince you that a game of hide the pink parsnip is never going to have the same relish. Another reason why you

chance and the right amount of alcohol we would do in a heartbeat. In the most extreme and amusing extension of this argument could I not persuade you all, that our friends of the opposite sex are, in fact, non-conquests? People that we have wanted or tried to mount but for some reason it’s just not come up in the conversation. It’s a well-known fact, in J17 at least, that getting to know someone is the best way into his or her pants. But before everyone wildly disagrees or gets angry, let me clarify… I’m not suggesting that we exclusively surround ourselves with people we fancy sexually. I’m suggesting that we are attracted, on the whole, to people, or even just aspects of them. Their personality might do it for us, or their outlook, work ethic or fashion sense. Maybe admiration is a more effective word in this instance. Although,

taken, betrothed to the wonderful Ashley; therefore friendship was the only destination for poor Mr. Chris (and actually we are really pleased it came about this way). Point proved. But, is it always that simple? I know everyone’s different and their views may not always match mine, but I do think I’ve got something. Once people hit their early twenties they start taking charge of their lives. They know that they either want to find someone to spend the rest of their life with, or know that this is the time to have some serious grownup fun. I have chosen to find my ideal man and I have him in my lovely fiancé Chris (by the by not the same one as mentioned above!). But this doesn’t stop other people from finding him or me attractive, and therefore becoming friends. It just means we’re off limits. I’ve just become aware or how my argument may sound to a possessive boyfriend/ girlfriend; attraction or admiration can be as honourable as it sounds. If your other half regards someone you are threatened by as a friend, then said other half knows that said friend would never cross the line, and jeopardise your relationship. Otherwise they wouldn’t be friends.

Despite this however, after a bit of thought it seemed that after college, where shagging (or at least attempting to shag) all your friends is pretty much the name of the game, we only ever become friends with people we are attracted to. People that if we had half the


enough people to form it ( I think it’s 15 people ). The Universe would like to put it to our readers to try and form a swingers club of some description and to gauge your fellow students thoughts on this issue. There is obviously a demand for it and if staff are getting involved, well then I daresay that there will be more than enough interest for those kinky minx’s that have always wanted to live out a fantasy...! But would there really be a group of sex-crazed students and staff members running around the place, in their little secret society? I mean really, that isn’t what people are doing right under our noses. Is it? All we can say here from the Universe is we know what’s going on, why aren’t we involved?!

This example can manifest itself in many ways, sometimes indirectly. I’m sure (she says with an evil glint in her eye) that Chris, a friend of mine only really became my friend because he fancied my best friend Katy. But she is also

“This is normally enough to convince you that a game of hide the pink parsnip is never going to have the same relish.”

The main question this situation leaves us with is what restrictions can be put on artistic freedom? Miss Bhatti believes that “drama should be provocative and relevant,” she continues, “perhaps those who are affronted by the menace of dialogue and discussion need to be offended.”

Secret Swingers Society?!?


Cate Hammett asks:



Issue 4 Volume12

Men and women, as far as I’m concerned, can be just friends (without sex getting in the way), and no it’s not just because I’m taken. I’ve been single and I’ve had droughts; long, lonely and almost painful droughts. And that’s how I know sex doesn’t get in the way of male/female friendships; if you’re in a drought situation and even you’re friends won’t pork you, sex won’t get in the way of anything. Of course this is just conjecture. This is only the ‘friendly’ tip of the iceberg, may voices resound through the corridors and transepts of this university debating whether men and women can just be friends…



Issue 4 Volume 12




lans for pan European version of NUS initiative as Tony Blair shows support

The first ever Black Students’ Handbook, produced by the NUS, has received official support from the Prime Minister and plans are in the pipeline for a European edition. The publication, designed to support students and give the wider community a greater understanding of the Black students in our universities and colleges, has also received support from MEP Claude Moraes who is looking for EU funding to make the handbook a pan-European initiative. Part of the NUS Black Students’ Campaign, the book includes information on the Race Relations Act, anti-racism campaigning and careers guidance for Black students. It has received endorsements from a number of high profile politicians and organisations, including Mayor Ken Livingstone, David Lammy MP, Action Aid and the National Assembly Against Racism.


NUS Black Students’ Officer Pav Akhtar said: “I am delighted by Mr Blair’s endorsement because the handbook addresses many of the concerns that are leading to countless Black students falling through the safety net. “At a time when twice as many Black men are in prison as in higher education, it is critical that institutions and society take a serious look at the needs of Black students. This book, based on students’ personal experiences, goes some way to doing that, so I hope that the Government will use it as a catalyst to putting more resources into student support.” “The multicultural diversity of the student population is a great strength that should be embraced. I hope the handbook encourages people to celebrate our social and cultural richness and gives an example of initiatives that go on in our diverse student membership.” The handbook is available online at bshandbook


ave you suffered from Discrimination? Do you want to be a part of a brand new UHSU society, which will actively campaign against all its forms? Seven times more black graduates are unemployed than white graduates. Employment law gives no protection to those discriminated against because of their sexuality. Women graduates can expect to earn 15% less than their male counterparts… Disabled people are twice as likely to be unemployed than people without a disability…80% of Muslims in a recent survey admitted they had been victims of the current wave of Islamaphobia. Anti-Semitic assaults (against Jewish people) are up all over Europe. Chinese students from this university have been subjected to racist abuse in the local area and can feel isolated from the rest of the student population. Votes for racist parties in the UK are at their highest level for thirty years. At a national level the BNP have hit the headlines as members, including the leader, have been arrested for racial assaults and inciting racial hatred. BNP leader Nick Griffin has said: “I am well aware that the orthodox opinion is that six million Jews were gassed and cremated or turned into lampshades. Orthodox opinion also once held that the earth is flat…I have reached the conclusion that the ‘extermination’ tale is a mixture of Allied wartime propaganda, extremely profitable lie, and latter day witch-hysteria.” “The electors of Millwall did not back a Post-Modernist Rightist Party, but what they perceived to be a strong, disciplined organisation with the ability to back up its slogan ‘Defend Rights for Whites’ with well-directed boots and fists. When the crunch comes, power is the product of force and will, not of rational debate.” In 2002 Broxbourne, Hertfordshire saw the election of a BNP councillor, the first in the South-East at the time. Cllr Ramon Johns has written anti-Semitic letters to the local paper, the BNP spokesperson has told the same paper of the need to

make Britain how it what is the 1950s (this would involve ethnic cleansing). A previous local parliamentary candidate for the BNP attacked members of a new anti-racist group in the street. Meanwhile non-whites have written into local papers saying they don’t feel it is safe to stay in the area. But the news isnt all bad. Anti-racist activism prevented the BNP from winning another council seat in Broxbourne in 2004. They also failed to win any seats on the European Parliament at the same elections. When people become organised the BNP lose. Anti Discrimination Action We will look at the causes, consequences and manifestations of discrimination based on race, religion, nationality, background, gender, disability and sexual orientation. We will provide space for discussion and provide support for victims of discrimination. We will actively campaign in support of equality, justice and civil liberties for all. Why not join our mailing list now & find out what we’re up to!

Martin Luther King, Jr. said: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” and “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” So let’s not be silent – let’s not sit by and hope someone else will help shape the rights and hopes we all take for granted tomorrow. There will be a big lounch of the socity with inspring speakres in mid February. Details to be confirmed.

Maz Cook, President Anti Discrimination Action

De Hav Questions


ello and Happy New Year to you all. For those returning students, I hope you have had a great Winter Vacation. For those new students to the University this Semester….. HELLO!!!! So, some of you may be asking who am I? Well, for those of you that don’t know me, I’m Darren Matthews, one of the Students’ Union Part-Time Executive Officers. I have responsibility for the de Havilland Campus, to make sure that the students’ voice is heard. Many complaints and queries about the campus tend to head in my direction. So, what have I been up to? Well, many of you have contacted me about your concerns with the de Havilland Campus, so I have compiled a list of some the most frequently asked questions, with some answers. You may be surprised to hear that some of the University staff have expressed their concerns with me too! If your question hasn’t been asked, the chances are that I am working on it, I will have a similar column, with more questions in the next edition of Universe. Q. Where is the cash point? A. Yes, the planners did a great job with this one. This has to be the most requested facility on the campus. There is good and bad news about this. The University are looking to install a cash point soon. However, due to the building work and time it takes to install a cash point, de Havilland will be getting a free-standing machine, with a charge being levied on withdrawals similar to those found in some shops. The new cash point in the Students’ Union on College Lane took around three years to install. Q. Why can I not park on Campus? A. The reason there is no student parking permitted is due to the planning of the site. In order to obtain the initial planning permission to build the de Havilland site, there were restrictions put in place as to how many cars could be parked there. A very short sighted decision in my opinion. So, please continue to use the Park and Ride as this is the safest place for your car. If you are parking in the streets of Hatfield…..BEWARE, I have heard rumours of clamping. Q. Where’s the Students’ Union? A. Well, as a Union our main job is representation. There are always Executive Officers that are contactable via phone or email very easily. We have a Clubs and Societies Office on de Havilland next to the entrance to the Sports Village. You can go there if you need to speak to someone, and you can also get your NUS card from there too. As far as a bar and shops go, we have nothing. :-( Some of this is as a result of bad planning. Another problem is when the Campus was built, the University didn’t want to “duplicate” services. So, in essence, the Ele House and Font Bar are there to serve both campuses despite their capacity and location. These are just some of the concerns that you have contacted me about. Please keep your emails coming in. Look out for me at the de Havilland Refreshers Fair where I will have an Open Forum. So I will say Goodbye for now. For those of you with Semester A exams – GOOD LUCK! Darren Matthews UHSU Executive Officer


Issue 4 Volume12


Life, the Universe and Everything By Allan Smith, University Chaplain


n the midst of life, we are in death” The words of the funeral service have never seemed more true than in the aftermath of the earthquake and tsunami on Boxing Day. With little warning, a devastating event changed millions of lives. It’s difficult to appreciate the scale, not just in terms of the hundreds of thousands of lives lost or the millions who have lost homes or livelihoods, but in the

Although insurance companies speak about ‘acts of God’ it would be an amazingly callous person who would see such a loss of life and livelihood simply in those terms. It would be an amazingly callous God who would wipe away so many lives at a whim. So how can we make sense of it all?

sheer size of the area affected. It’s like the kind of catastrophe you see in a Biblical epic film. The force of flood outweighed anything we could have expected. This was the natural world at its most powerful. And unlike some of the tragedies we have had to face on the world stage of late, there doesn’t look like there is anyone to blame. This natural disaster took no account of race, religion or political persuasion. It didn’t have an agenda or a score to settle or point to make. If there is no-one to blame part of us wants to know why this has happened. Surely there has to be someone at fault for so much suffering? So we are faced with the thorny question of why do bad things happen? As the estimates of the number who have died (and sadly there will only ever be estimates, the numbers are just too great) continue to rise many people have tried to make some sort of sense of it all. In reality, there is little that anyone can say to make quick sense of such a tragedy.

“In the midst of life, we are in death” take on a real power here. Whatever we might hope, we won’t live forever. The reminder of our own mortality is perhaps the most frightening aspect of what has happened for most of us. What if it had been us taking time out on those beaches? What if it had been our home swept away? It threatens our sense of security. Perhaps we have been too convinced by the assumptions that life will go on and on, and that every step of medical research brings immortality closer. The truth is far less palatable, it’s not what we want to hear, our lives will someday come to an end. In the Psalms there is a line that says ‘The length of our days is seventy years–or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.’ So it seems this is nothing new, we just don’t like to be reminded of it. Because if our life has a finite length it means we could be wasting it, We could be spending too much time down the

ell here we are, a new term and the RaG effort is going well. Thank you to everyone who has put their ‘Eley pennies’ in the pot on the bar and in the shop. The pots are being emptied quite regularly and some people are being really generous. So an extra big thank you.

armed with collection pots, lots of layers and a board announcing what we were up to. Due to maybe a lack of presence compared to the full male choir round the corner from us, or the football match on that day we managed to raise about £10! All day! Oh and we got frostbite-only joking! Ooh and a 15-year-old boy got his mate to ask me out! I’m going to be 20 in April! Think I must be over doing the moisturiser!

One place to start is in getting our perspective right. Those words

“Perhaps the greatest tragedy is that it takes so much suffering for us to realise how much good we can do.”

RaG W RaG week has come and gone but another is planned for the summer and the (hold your breath) better weather. The RaG team attempted to raise money in the font by selling glow sticks and lollies. The Asda car wash unfortunately fell through due to communication problems so hopefully we will get to do another. The Watford collection wasn’t the biggest of successes. Katie Wilde and myself turned up

So this is were you come in! We need more from you (sorry but we cant do it ourselves). We need you to get sponsored for whatever! It’s up to you. Obviously nothing too stupid and no nudity! If you can come up with a good idea then get in contact with Katie Wilde for a sponsorship form. These ideas can range from swimming lengths, eating as many beans as you can, no alcohol or even having

bar or in front of the TV. Seventy or eighty years, that’s a long time off … or so we like to think. We don’t want to be reminded that it could be sooner rather than later. If we hear about fatal accidents then it’s more manageable if they come in ones or twos, not thousands or hundreds of thousands. But it’s not really a question of scale. Each person who was killed by the tsunami was a loss to family, friends and community. They were each unique, just as every one of us is unique. So every death leaves its share of grief. Whether that loss is in a natural disaster, in a road accident or in a hospital bed, it is just as real. I can see little real difference between the grief of a

in this country I was in Switzerland, where instead of three minutes silence their church bells rang for fifteen minutes in part recognising that among the dead were around five hundred Swiss nationals. This was truly a global disaster, which has evoked a global response. And as people have recognized that they are connected to those who are suffering they have responded quickly and generously. While the money that’s being raised can only go so far to help the survivors it’s a sign that we can recognize their need. There are times when ideology and politics are set aside and we can just get on and respond to the suffering we see. It seems ironic that in the wake of people’s

friend of mine whose father died just before Christmas and the grief of those who have lost loved ones in the tsunami. Someone unique has been lost.

generosity that governments seem to be competing to see who can be the most generous with aid. It seems a tragedy that it took something like this to get the richer countries to seriously talk about cancelling Third World debt. But, however it has come about, it shows that we can at least learn from such event. There should in future be an early warning system in place to prevent such a loss of life if another tsunami threatens, there should be continuing support and work to rebuild lives and communities. One of the most impressive stories I’ve heard about the aftermath of the tsunami was about how in some areas the remaining places of worship had opened their doors

“Muslim, Christian and Hindu communities were welcoming each other, something that would have been major headlines at any other time.”

So is it all depression and gloom? Certainly not, amidst the suffering there has been an amazing upsurge of good. I’ve heard so many stories of the generosity of people in the affected areas, and of people living far away from them. It seems that the disaster has made us aware not only of our mortality but also of our interconnectedness. Everyone it seems knows someone who was affected, or knows someone who knows someone. At the time when there was the three minutes silence something waxed! Photos are required for the paper afterwards please! Alternatively you could help with another street collection or another car wash. If you want to help please contact myself, Katie Wilde or Jade Mills to get involved: At the moment we’re nearly at the £2k mark, so thank you all so much. And I would just like to thank Rakesh.

Claire-Michelle Pearson RaG Chair

to people of different faiths whose place of worship had been swept away. Muslim, Christian and Hindu communities were welcoming each other, something that would have been major headlines at any other time. We can set aside our differences. Perhaps the greatest tragedy is that it takes so much suffering for us to realise how much good we can do. There’s another line in the funeral service which comes to mind, ‘And since we have all been but a hair’s breadth from death since birth, teach us, O God, how close we are to life in all its fullness which Christ alone can give.’ Life is precious, live it well. You can make a difference. Allan Smith, University Chaplain Tel 01707 284456 (University internal 4456) Email Website: services/chaplaincy

Kokis Travel Flight Offers BA have their Great World Offers Back on so now is a great time to Book, all World Offers need to be booked by the 25th January 2005. Have a look at these BA World offers: Harare Prices from £569.00 including taxes Johannesburg from £499.00 including taxes Sydney or Melbourne from £663.00 including taxes Virgin have some great fares out as well, Hong Kong from £425.00 return including taxes. China Eastern Airlines have a special to Shanghai, dates throughout the year Prices start at an Amasing £399.00 including taxes, this must be booked by 31st January 2005.

New York for the New Year Direct flights from £225.00


Fun & Games

Issue 4 Volume 12



Juicy random useless information


hat’s red and sits in a tree?

Happy new year, and good new year vibes to all you lads and laddettes... Hope you drank lots of cheap wine and didn’t snog random old people during the crimbo break…

The Drinks and The Dregs H

cream adds a nice chill to the drink without the need for ice cubes.

Alcohol is the slightly poisonous spice of life, helping ugly people get laid and shy people unleash themselves. Without the almighty powers of the booze would people feel inclined to steal traffic cones or strip off in the street? Alcohol it’s legal fun in a bottle.

Probably the best tasting drink featured in this little section so far, as well as one of the cheapest to buy and one of the easiest to make. Depending on the size of the scoop of ice cream to the amounts of vodka and Kahlua used, you may or may not be able to taste the vanilla flavouring but it matters little seeing as the other two ingredients are such a good combination by themselves anyway.

appy New Year! Roll on 2005 with new drinks and old drunks, if anyone vowed to give up drinking as their news year’s resolution then shame on you.

Wouldn’t it be nice if this year the drinks process got cheaper; if the bars and pubs stayed open longer; if they started selling Breda lager in the mainland; if indestructible bionic livers didn’t exist just in science fiction. A man can still dream.

Although now we get to look forward to exams… Anyway this month’s drink is a simple twist on an even simpler and the start of semester B… and my 21st Birthday old favourite. Moulin Rouge party… and the start of placement… Whiter Shade of Russian election week in February… and the selling of Cadbury cream eggs once again! Also, hello and 2 Parts Vodka welcome to UHSU to all you beautiful new nurses 1 Parts Kahlua (Or alternative coffee liqueur) (and other new freshers). 1 Scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream It seems ages since the last issue of universe, and so much has happened in that time. During that time (in Put the vanilla ice cream in a glass and pour the vodka and no particular order), I attended two hamster funerals, Kahlua over the top, then mix and drink with a straw. Cocktail spent ridiculous amounts of money on presents no umbrella is advised if possible. one will ever use, got fabulously drunk on Lambrini, watched Maz stick a lit sparkler in his bum cheeks, So a slight alteration to the ‘White Russian’, we’ve substituted played copious amounts of bingo, got barred from ice cream for milk or cream. The benefit of this is that the ice the SU, started a new part time job as a super suit seller extraordinaire (try saying that repeatedly when you’re drunk), did a party crawl round (s)Hatfield on New Years Eve, got a tattoo (no, it didn’t hurt as I’m rock hard, innit), celebrated my mates getting engaged, got fired, had a road trip to Croydon, went bush jumping, was allowed back into the SU, got shat on by a pigeon, and ate a large variety bucket to myself…. Breathe Jade, breathe. So, I had a relatively good Christmas break.

e c a p S e l d Doo

What else have I got to talk about??! As you may or may not know, we executive team have been mandated by council… again… to hold a successful UHSU awareness week. Well, its gonna happen again, so everyone – BE AWARE – your union is here for you, and whenever you see one of the executive team wondering round, please attempt to be interested, and please don’t throw egg at us. Also, from a Women’s Association viewpoint – no one turned up to my last meeting – I sat there for over half an hour looking like a complete loner – so, the next meeting is booked for Tuesday 25th January. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to email them to me at, and please – I already have enough porn on my computer so don’t send me any more!! Again, look out for posters appearing on a wall near you soon! Oh, to those two blokes who lent Becci and I £1 so we could have our pictures taken, thank you muchly. However, I cant remember your names, but I have stuck the picture in like I said I would. You are both mucho groovo.

Plus you can always put the ice-cream to good use outside making this eating and…stuff.

Yet another doodle space from your friendly paper. This can be used as toliet paper in case of emergency.



Ok, can’t think of much else to say, apart from…. So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye…. I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye -Goodbye! Oh yeah, P.S.

This month we suggest that you attempt doodle a pic of a duck bill platapus and send it in and we will dig you out some kinda prize.

Problem Page

Dear Dave...

After last month’s issue we at the universe have told Dave not to use his position to promote the font. He has promised to follow our words to the letter. Pease remeber this is an advatorial. Dear Dave, I have a worrying problem, I am very interested in the Stock Market but am afraid that if I start investing my money I could lose loads of it by not knowing what I am doing. Any advice Dave? Yours a budding Merchant Banker. Dear Merchant Banker, The most important thing to remember is that the value of your investments can go down as well as up, but my advice to you is why not try the Ele House on a Friday night with its new Bar Footsie promotion, the stock market drinking experience. Drinks rise and fall in price depending on how many are bought and you may well get yourself a bargain and learn how the stock market works at the same time. Dear Dave, I am a second year student and have noticed a trend in recent weeks in my house at weekends, I am the only person left there! My housemates usually go home or visit friends at the weekends leaving me to struggle on glued only to Grandstand or Sky Sports Soccer Special. Dave I would love to get out of the house but love my football what can I do? Yours John Motson Jrn. Dear John Motson Jrn. Saturday afternoons can be a lonely time; I should know I am usually watching Q.P.R! Have you tried going to the Ele House they have 2 big screens showing live sport all day, so you can relax in the company of others and enjoy the games and ambience. Dear Dave, I am a member of one of the University Sports teams and after playing on Wednesdays I like to go home and kick back and relax before going to the Font in the night, because I know it’s the only place to been seen on a Wednesday night, but I find the 5 till 7 period at home to be quite boring and it is leaving me unfulfilled, what can I do to fill in this time period? Yours Bored on Wednesdays Dear Bored on Wednesday, I find the best way to relax on Wednesdays between 5 and 7 is too listen to the Dr Kiss Kiss and Monkey Nipples show on Crush 1278am or listen though the Internet at Their eclectic mix of chat, competitions and music will set you up for a nights partying in the font. Dear Dave, I have an urgent problem! I have recently found out from my doctor that I am allergic to soap on my skin. Simply doing the washing up makes me break out in blisters and boils. As a result I have no clean plates or cooking utensils, I have now lost 2 stone and am terrified to go near the Fairy Liquid, Help Me!,Yours Starving and Dirty Dear Starving and Dirty, Aside from buying a dishwasher which is an expensive

item in anybody’s book, I would suggest going to the Ele House for a few meals, they serve food all day and have an exciting mix to cater for all tastes including vegetarians and you don’t even have to touch the washing up afterwards. Dear Dave, I have an unusual problem for you and hope you can help. I have an I.Q. of 165 and am finding it increasingly difficult to find mental stimulation outside of my normal university work. Whilst my course is taxing I do have periods of time when I am free and would like to find something else to use my super brainpower on any ideas? Yours Super Brain Box Dear Super Brian Box, Why not try the Quiz night in the Ele House on alternative Thursday nights sometimes the questions are so hard I don’t know a couple of them. They have various rounds and you can even drink for free during the punch drunk rounds, if you dare! Dear Dave, My friends all take the mickey out of me because I can’t play pool properly, I even don’t even know how to hold the bat properly its really getting me down as I love the game and think I could become really good at it in a couple of years time but I just don’t know what to do. Yours Steve Davis Jnr. Dear Steve Davis Jrn. Its great that you want to learn how to play what can be a complex and difficult sport, my advice is try the Ele House every Tuesday where you can take part in the Pool Competition, you probably wont win but then at least it wont only be your friends laughing at you, total strangers can join in too! Dear Dave, When I am out with my friends I am the life and soul of the party they all laugh at my jokes and think I am hilarious, but when I talk to strangers they just look at me strange and don’t laugh. What am I doing wrong Dave? Yours Confused and Hopeful Dear Confused and Hopeful Comedy is all about timing and knowing your audience, you only have to look at My Hero on BBC 1 to see how easy it is to go horribly wrong on so many levels. Try the Ele House on alternative Thursdays it is Comedy Night see some up and coming comedians and more established ones to see exactly where you are going wrong.

Official Apology From Editor-in-Cheif It has been brought to our attention that some readers found some aspects of the problem page from our last issue offensive. Mesures have now been taken and we hope that this month they will be percieved as a bit of light hearted fun.

Issue 4 Volume12


Monty’s Monologue W

ell here we are, Christmas is gone, you’ve had to cope with the parents for a few weeks driving you mad, and you had a new year to remember (or not depending). But here we are its January, its cold still and the exams are looming ever nearer. Don’t panic though for there is always a refuge from the drawl of the LRC and the ‘lovely’ refectory food. Just head down to the union end of college lane and relax. We now have a Cashpoint (I know I can hardly believe it either) and after a few teething problems it seems to working well (I always see a huge queue there anyway). So if your in the Ele and run out of cash or just need to buy a sandwich you can pop down to the Cashpoint get some cash out with out the hassle of the walk down the refectory. Also if you have not signed up to Moviebank yet, don’t forget to it’s a really easy service to use and provides you with all the latest releases at 99p a go. What more of a bargain could you ask for. The Moviebank people will be around the union during the New Year so sign up! A hopeful development over the Christmas break is University branded hoodies in the shop, these will with any luck be on sale in a few weeks so keep your eye out for them in the shop. A few issues have been raised at the environmental and ethics committee recently, mainly where can you get recycling bins for off campus residences? All you will need to do is ring 01707 357815 and they will arrange for bins to be delivered to your house, and its all completely free. If you have ideas on recycling or feelings about any kind of environmental issue then please come along to the next environmental and ethics committee meeting to be held on the 18th January in LB400 at 6pm. Also if you have an issues relating to entertainments

provided then please come along to the Entertainments committee meeting on the 18th at 7pm. This is your chance to let us know what you think about the entertainment we provide for you and is really important so if you want to have a grumble or praise what we are doing make sure you come along. Anyway that’s it for another month, I hope every1 who has exams does well in them (I’m sure you will) and don’t forget that all us Sabbs aren’t green eyed monsters(that’s just Maz) but are approachable about anything just come and talk to us, we are always around in the bars/shop or offices and will always spare time to hear your thoughts.

Ian Ian Williams V.P Commercial Services & Finance 01707 285 007


Issue 4 Volume 12

Cross Word



Stiched Up

Issue 4 Volume12


The student spirit is very much alive, with you crazy kids getting up to all kinds of shenanigans and your mates taking pictures of it. So why not have a little fun and maybe a bit of revenge and stitch them up. Just send them to Maz:

What happened next was too disturbing to publish!

Errr... do I look good in this?

“I now pronounce you graduated from the University of Hertfordshire”

That’s a cracking sparkler!

Pitty you can’t see the cop car on its way

Hello boys... Stitched up... literally

Dame Edna better watch her back.

Will you let the universe team sign youir bum too?


Issue 4 Volume 12

Advice & Support


With semester A exams comming up, Ali Hill gives you some helpful tips on how to handel exams.

Ali Hills V.P Student Support



ello and welcome back to UHSU in 2005! I hope you’ve all had a lovely Christmas break, and managed to find some time to relax in-between all the partying and coursework! I had a fantastic start to the year, with a manic house party, which involved fireworks almost setting our house on fire, then a trip to the French Alps with the HUSKIS, despite all the injuries in ‘the suicide squad’! Sarah, I told you that its cool that they serve beer in the middle of the mountains, Sophie its good to see that you showed the Manchunians whose boss and Gatesy, that’s gotta be the most impressive scar I’ve ever seen, I hope you get all the TLC you deserve!! All that aside, I hope you’re all refreshed and ready to get back into university life; for many of you this means exams (groan!) so I’m going to use this page to give you a few top tips for that exam success…. 1. 2.




Start revising early! (I know this may be a bit late for some of you, but it’s good warning for the May exams) Think about your environment- where are you working? Are you being distracted by tv, magazines, internet, large communal areas? Make sure you set aside times each day in silent study areas to reflect upon what you’ve learnt Don’t rely upon friends! Although revising in groups is beneficial, people have different styles/methods/times of revising. Once you’ve picked a style you get on with, stick to it! PLAN! And try to stick to it, how much time do you have? Which are your weak areas? What do you need to spend more time on? Make sure you don’t just spend time on the areas you enjoy/ are good at, this will get you nowhere in the exam!



nhappy with your results? Did you know that you have the right to appeal?

This information is aimed to guide you through your rights and the process of appealing. For a complete breakdown refer to the University Policy Regulations which are available from the Advice & Support Centre.

Grounds for Appeal • • • • •

The mark/grade for an individual piece of coursework The result of an individual course Completion of a stage of programme and progression to the next Entitlement to an award The class or grade of an award.

Reasons for Appeal •

The examiners failing to take into account medical or extenuating circumstances which would have adversely affected your performance (UPR AS/C/6.1 Appendix 1 2.2.7.i) There were medical or other extenuating circumstances which were likely to have had an affect on your performance, and which you could not disclose before the Examiners arrived at their decision (2.2.7.ii) There was a material or administrative error at some stage in the assessment process (2.2.7.iii) There was unfairness on the part of an Examiner (2.2.7.iii)


Try and make it interesting!! Don’t spend a solid day on one topic, try and alternate between topics/modules every couple of hours, and take regular breaks


Don’t cram everything at the last minute, make sure that you allow yourself some ‘chillout’ time- watch eastenders, eat and sleep well, don’t overdose on caffeine and make sure you stop working at least an hour before you go to bed, no matter how tempting it may be!

PLEASE NOTE: You CANNOT appeal against the academic judgement of staff or because you felt you must had done better in the assessment.


On the day of the exam, eat ‘brain food’ such as bananasallow yourself plenty of time to wake up and drink lots of water


I know it may seem obvious, but READ THE QUESTIONS CAREFULLY ! Don’t just go straight into an area you think you know, ensure that you understand exactly what the question is asking you, and allow yourself plenty of time for each question. And attempt each question, even if you think you know nothing about your final essay- every mark counts!

STEP 1: Speak to your personal tutor about the options available (i.e. resits) STEP 2: Write a letter to the Dean of your faculty, formally requesting a review. You must do this within 10 days of receipt of your results. In the letter, you must includei. Your name ii. Your course code iii. The UPR number (as above) iv. The details of the appeal v. Any evidence vi. What you would like done (i.e. special consideration from examiners, opportunity to resit) vii. Positive statements about yourself viii. Address

10. After the exam, don’t talk about it! Its done, there’s nothing you can do to change it so there’s no need to worry about it! Go and relax and congratulate yourself for all the hard work you’ve done!

Procedure for Appeal

The Dean will then review and write back to you with their decision about whether your case has been dismissed or referred back to the Board of Examiners. STEP 3: If the decision is a formal review, you will be informed of the procedures from the Board. If it is a case of plagiarism, there will be a Panel hearing, where you will be invited to attend and have the right to have a representative present. STEP 4: If the appeal fails at this stage, you have the right to appeal to the Vice Chancellor (UPR 2.5.6). Please note however, this can only be on the grounds that exceptional circumstances apply and can only be made if you believe that the procedure has not been followed and/or that the relevant circumstances have not been considered. STEP 5: If you wish to appeal to the Vice Chancellor, you must do so within 10 working days of the decision of the Board of Examiners. Your letter must be supported by a statement stating your grounds for review and any documentary evidence. PLEASE NOTE: The Vice Chancellor does not possess the power to alter decisions. He can confirm the view of the Board of Examiners or request the Board to review their decision. STEP 6: Once all these procedures have failed, you can submit your case to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator. Contact details: 0118 959 9813 Email: Post: Fifth Floor Thames Tower Station Road Reading RG1 1LX IF AT ANY TIME YOU WISH FOR FURTHER GUIDANCE ON THE APPEALS PROCEDURE, NEED A REPRESENTATIVE AT AN APPEAL HEARING OR WISH TO BE INFORMED OF YOUR OPTIONS, PLEASE CONTACT THE ADVICE AND SUPPORT CENTRE ON

01707 285003 or Email

Film m Review



new year brings with it new films and I am here to guide you through what will rock and what will indeed not. I have hand-picked five of the most promising pictures destined for the silver screen in the first half of 2005 (yep, that means there will be a second part to this feature later in the year). There is a nice mix of the blockbuster with the alternative ranging from Brad Pitt to Bill Murray. So, go for that dump and have a read of the best in film entertainment whilst you sit on the pan, enjoy.


From the warped, yet genius minds of Matt Stone and Trey Parker (South Park) arises Team America. Boasting a cast entirely comprised of marionettes (puppets) attempting to save the world from its “inevitable” destruction. Guaranteed to offend and disgust in equal measure, Team America will also have you pissing your new Christmas present pants with laughter. Look out for the best musical number in years “America, Fuck Yeah!” it’s a bit special. I stress that you see this movie. Go. Now.



In a departure from World Police surfaces Life Aquatic. Likely to possess the most accomplished ensemble cast this year, with Bill ‘Anything he touches is golden’ Murray spearheading a cast including Owen Wilson, Willem Defoe and Cate Blanchett. The plot follows oceanographer Steve Zissou (Murray) on his quest to destroy the shark that killed his diving partner. Penned and directed by the ever consistent Wes Anderson who was responsible for the super Royal Tenenbaums and Bottle Rocket. Still not excited, check your pulse, something is clearly amiss.

MR & MRS SMITH (17 June) I have one of my tingly feelings about this one. Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie + Doug ‘Swingers’ Liman = Barnstormer of a picture. The plot revolves around the premise that married couple Jolie and Pitt are both unaware of each others vocation (Deadly Assassins) when both are assigned to a new case they discover they have been hired to kill each other. Nice idea, here to hoping it doesn’t suck. I have a good feeling it won’t.

BATMAN BEGINS (TBA, changing all the time) It’s Batman, need I say more. Well yes actually, after the showers of shit that was Batman and Robin and Batman Forever the franchise has taken a battering, but the bat sign has been sent out and the spirits of Gotham City have been lifted. The film’s major trump card is its star, Christian Bale, who it would appear was born to wear Bruce Wayne’s Bat pants. With Christopher Nolan (Memento) at the helm the future is bright. None of the other films have reached the heady height of Batman and Batman Returns thanks to Tim Burton’s expert direction and the coolest caped crusader ever, Michael Keaton. Yet if they are to be toppled then Batman Begins is shaping up to be the strongest effort so far. Rock on.

Rounding up the first quarter is director F Gary Grays’s Be Cool. The anticipated sequel to 1995’s Get Shorty, Be Cool sees John Travolta and Uma Thurman team up for the first time since some Tarantino film back in the 90’s. It promises not to be a cash-cow sequel, with a stellar cast in support once again. Also, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson plays a gay bodyguard, worth in my opinion the admission price itself.

Ross Billington


ithout a paddle indeed. To be frank, my first thoughts were that this picture was on a one way rapid up to shit creek. However, I will be the first to say that I was pleasantly surprised by a film that harked back to the good ol’ adventure flicks we grew to love as kids (I’m talking 80’s here e.g. Corey Feldman, Mullets and rock ballads).

The film, directed by relative newcomer Steven Brill, is by no means perfect, but its strength lies in the likeable, young and plucky cast. Green (Idle Hands) plays the germ-phobic bitch of the group well, whilst Lillard (Scream) provides a happy medium for Shepard’s (MTV’s Punk’d) loose cannon, cowboy Tom. The tightness of on the way but I can’t cover everything. Here are a few others of note that you may want to check out at your local multiplex. Ring 2 (shit your pants again). Star Wars Episode III (plain shit…oooh come get me nerds) and Meet the Fockers (shouldn’t be too shit). So please enjoy the movies in the next half year, there are some celluloid treats in the pipeline, till next month,



Three childhood buddies group together to find a long lost ROUND-UP treasure in honour of their late Of-course there are plenty of other great films friend Billy. Tom (Dax Shepard), Dan (Seth Green) and Jerry (Matthew Lillard) unearth a map that their Billy has left them and head out to the wilderness where they encounter two red-necks, a couple of tree-hugging hippy chicks and a crazy mountain man (Burt Reynolds). They soon discover that the forest isn’t just a place for shitting in the woods.

BE COOL (1 April)

Issue 4 Volume12

the friends is believable, which proves integral to covering some of the films flaws. Some gaping plot holes unfortunately act as important curves to keep the story running, with a mobile phone that is eaten by a bear, and then found in the bear’s poo some 40 miles away, likely? No. It doesn’t ruin the film, but irritates. Besides, I commend any film that gives Burt Reynolds screen time. Kooky and thankfully back on form as a crazy mountain man. Since he ditched the specs ads, and got back on screen, Hollywood is better for it. Did anyone see Boogie Nights? The man is a L.E.G.E.N.D. I happily found myself guffawing heartily at some punchy dialogue and outrageous set-pieces. Perhaps the funniest thing being how small Seth Green actually is. The end result is a cheery little film that can easily wash over you on a Friday night. Up shit creek sans the paddle? No sir.

Ross Billington



Gig Reviews

Issue 4 Volume 12


he Darkness have come a long way since they burst onto the scene 18 months ago. I recall being in a bar in Newcastle in late 2003 with my mate desperately trying to get tickets for their show at Newcastle University that night. To put it into perspective Newcastle is

have no chance of flogging them at such late notice. That night we found ourselves strutting off to Brixton, change loudly jingling in our pockets after buying the £30 tickets for £15 each, result! The Darkness, Men What Do

Keep up with your favourite band

Not to be out done by the support bands excellent display of rock and roll The Darkness made a predictably spectacular entrance. A huge white screen was erected once the support band had left the stage and as the lights went down and the crowd roared the screen was lit up and silhouettes of the band appeared. As the first cords were struck the screen dropped to reveal the band and lead singer, Justin Hawkin, looking resplendent in a silver cat suit. They kicked things off with a new song that had never been played live before which was unusual and a clear indicator that they are growing tried of playing the material off their debut album ‘Permission To Land’. After playing Leeds and Reading in the summer they took a deserved break and managed to knock a few new songs together which they played that night, obviously desperate to play some new tunes.

venue that holds roughly 2,000 and that night there was almost as many people outside looking for touted tickets as there were inside the gig. My mate and I decided it was a good idea to give up searching when some (rich) nutter ended up selling a single ticket for £100, bearing in mind the tickets were £10 each. I remember feeling gutted that night believing that would be my last chance to ever see them at a small venue again thinking that only stadium gigs and festivals lay ahead for the boys in spandex. Imagine then the ironic smile upon my face when I noticed a post on ‘Flounder’ the uni’s world famous message board, advertising 6 tickets for sale for their show at Brixton Academy a venue with a similar capacity to that of Newcastle University. My smile grew again in both width and irony when I sent my cheeky chappy flat mate mike off to collect the tickets. He offered the guy selling them half of what I agreed, knowing the gig was that night and he would

Rock, Baby! 23/11/04 Being a northern monkey this was my 1st gig in London and I was very impressed by Brixton Academy as a venue, the stage resembled that of a pantomime set and the roof was enormous catering nicely for The Darkness’ monster guitar sound to be transferred to our bleeding ears. The standing area is sloped down to the stage, giving you an excellent view of the band where ever you stand. There are loads of little bars dotted around too as the Academy is sponsored by Carling, the lack of queue manages to take the sting out of the £3 a pint prices a little. The opening band ‘The Answer’ were very appropriate, confidently blasting out a Zeppelin and Thin Lizzy Esq. sound with a hint of The Darkness for good measure. ‘The Answer’ certainly made some friends tonight and bands like this would be very welcome down the font on a Tuesday. Watch out for them in 2005.

The show was pure comedy genius, Justin went through no fewer than four costume changes. Unquestionably The Darkness put on a fantastic show but the levels of hilarity at times are such that they are impossible to take seriously and with songs like ‘You’re Really Growing On Me’ (a reference to sexually transmitted diseases) and ‘Don’t Let The Bells End’ (a reference to male private parts) it’s easy to see why. However the band are clearly influenced by credible artists like ‘Thin Lizzy’, a Lizzy live album is all that was played before and after The Darkness come onstage and guitarist Dan is sporting a ‘Thin Lizzy’ t-shirt. Queen also have clearly had an influence on at least one lycra wearing individual in this band, during ‘Love On The Rocks (With No Ice)’ Justin will sing a line in a ridiculously high pitched voice and ask the crowd to repeat, this is stolen from Freddy Mercury’s stage performance, but what is Freddy going to do about it these days? Six new songs were debuted including ‘Greed’ and ‘English Country Garden’ the latter of which is guaranteed to be a summer anthem of 2005. One of the new tracks opened with Hawkins playing piano, once he’d finished playing the piano part he lifted it up on its side to reveal it as an Eighties-style guitar-keyboard, he then asked the audience weather he should call it a ‘Keytar’ or a ‘Guiboard’. Towards the end Justin got on the shoulders of a security

man who then walked round the crowd carrying Justin who is still playing the guitar by the way, naturally the crowd go wild as it gives them the opportunity to touch their hero or better still get a picture of him on there camera phones. The crowd are treated to a double encore for their troubles tonight with the band finishing with Band Aid 20’s ‘Do They Know Its Christmas’ of which Hawkin’s plays a few bars before stopping, “Lets have a proper Christmas tune” and launches into ‘Don’t Let The Bells End’ before a massive pyrotechnics display ends the show.

SETLIST Grief Hammer Giving Up Stuck In A Rut Dinner Lady Arms Growing On Me Makin’ Out Physical Sex Love Is Only A Feeling Seemed Like A Good Idea English Country Garden Buffet Black Shuck Friday Night I Believe In A Thing Called Love

Encore 1 Get Your Hands Off Of My Woman Love On The Rocks

Encore 2 Don’t Let The Bells End

It will be interesting to see what the ‘difficult’ second album turns out to be like but for tonight at least everything was A okay.

Reviewed by Matthew Ketchell



he fourth time going to see Muse, a band that truly are great to see live. First time I had the pleasure of a concert in Earls Court, the place is just huge! First support act were Soulwax. Now I am a big Soulwax fan so I was chuffed to hear they were on the support, but I have to say I found their performance to be poor. They just did not sound good live, which is a great shame as they have good material. Halfway through their set some drunken idiots next to us started fighting so at least one of them got chucked out - Loser! Second support act were The Zutons I have the album on mp3 but never really paid much attention, other than Confusion which I love. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. The crowd were really into them and they worked the crowd nicely. The saxophonist works really well with their sound and their overall performance was good. They were obviously chuffed to be playing in front of 18,000.

Muse: How would you start a gig, the first of two in which you play to 36,000 people over two days? How about by filming yourself coming onto stage before breaking into Hysteria? That’s how the Muse lads kicked off, Earls Court erupted to Hysteria followed by Butterflies and Hurricanes. The band went thru some new material and most of the classics. The camerawork and graphics were superb so expect a DVD of this at some stage next year. As ever Muse were the ultimate showmen, some of us even noticed Matt playing a touch of Led Zep’s Heartbreaker in between a couple of tunes. After two encores our night was over and I have to say that ranks up their with the finest live performances I have seen. If you ever get the chance, go see these guys, they are in my eyes the best live act of a generation. If you can’t get a ticket, they’ll be a DVD out soon I’m sure.

Reviewed by Chris Holt

DJ Sumo’s New Year Club Guide Chew the Fat

The End, West Central Street, London WC1 Friday 14th January 2005 10pm-5am NUS £6 all night Beats and Breaks all night with DJ’s Paul Arnold, PFN and Bushwacka!


Issue 4 Volume12

The Killers- Somebody told me


Genre- Indie Single out to buy 10/01/05 Album- Hot Fuss, out now This is a cracking tune; it is almost as catchy as their previously released single ‘Mr Brightside’. Not many bands can demonstrate the diversity that this band has with its album ‘Hot Fuss’; every song has a unique twist. This song like ‘Mr Brightside’ is the kind of tune you’ll play to death until you’re either singing it in your sleep or your flat mates complain. Brandon Flower’s contribution of the synthesizer in this track gives it a modern twist, making it stand out from other material out at the moment. If you like bands such as Franz Ferdinand or Kings of Leon this is a definite must have.

City Loud

Turnmills, Clerkenwell Road, London EC1 Saturday 15th January 2005 10pm-6am NUS £12 all night Undergound house with David Guetta, CJ Mackintosh and many more


Herbal, 12 Kingsland High Road, London E2 Friday 21st January 2005 9pm-4am £4 B4 10.30pm Soulful Drum&Bass from London Elektricity, Tomahawk, Cyantific and Nicky Blackmarket Upstairs

Ashlee Simpson- LaLa Genre- Pop/ Rock Single out to buy 24/01/05 Album- Autobiography, out now When you hear this tune, you’ll find it hard to believe that she is the younger sister of Jessica Simpson. This is because ‘La La’ is incredibly catchy with its energetic chick rock chorus whereas her sister is known for her bubblegum pop covers. Avril Lavigne fans will enjoy this tune given its similar style backing and lyrical content. Like her first single, ‘pieces of me’ released from her album ‘autobiography’, the lyrics of ‘LaLa’ are about love.

Reviewed By Jessica Sturman

Fabric Live

Fabric, Charterhouse Street, London EC1 Friday 28th January 2005 9.30pm-5am NUS £10 all night Trueplayaz return to Fabric for the new year with DJ Hype, Mampi Swift, Andy C and Pascal. MC’s on the night are GQ, Rage, Fats and MC AD.

Band Aid and the irony that surrounds it W

hilst you were enjoying your Christmas break and all its fun festivities, you were Back To The Old School probably exposed to the single KOKO (Formerly Camden Palace) Camden High Street, “Do they know its Christmas?” London NW1 by Band Aid, which made the Saturday 29th January 2005 9pm-6am 2004 Christmas number one. £10 all night Artists such as Will Young, Bono Old skool beats return to one of their original homes after its and Joss Stone were involved facelift last year, DJ’s will include The Ratpack, Slipmatt, with the single. Admittedly it DR S Gachet and The Demolition Cru. MC’s on the night is a well-written song but is will be GQ, Fearless and many more. anyone else bored to death of hearing it? Did Bob Geldof (the creator of Band Aid) really plan Thats it for this month people, don’t forget Crush the student to use the same song every year? radio station is now online 24/7. You can see and hear the Or are stars today just too idle to DJ’s live in Hutton Hall on the 26th January so look for think up new material? Thinking more details on that. that they are ‘doing their bit’ by Until next time............Peace x simply singing a few lines of a song. Bob Geldof wrote the song In room 2, Soul of Man and Hybrid provide the breaks.

after being affected by a news broadcast on the famine in Africa. He then researched Africa and its poverty, and after the single was released in 1984, went and visited Africa to ensure the money was spent correctlyhow many of the stars today can claim they have done that? Bob wrote emotive words, the singers in 1984 such as Wham, The Police, Culture Club and U2 sound and look as though they are singing with emotion. If you watched the documentary that was on over the Christmas break- ‘The Band Aid story’ you’ll know what I mean when you see the footage taken at the recording studio. Band Aid could do with a face-lift, a new song,

perhaps even a new approach.

Yes the single sells, but are people buying it now solely because it has their favourite artist singing on it and it sounds nice? How many people who purchased the song can actually say they listened to the lyrics and were affected by them? On a final note why are we directly made aware of poverty and famine solely at Christmas? A time when most of us will and do over-indulge? That to me is ironic.

By Jessica Sturman

Now online : on air, online


Issue 4 Volume 12

Religion and Philisophy

Philisophy & Religion

“True life”? - Does religion have the answer?


hat’s the point in believing in God, you may ask; as there are so many more important things to do in life? Friends, family, making a good career, a home, finding a lifelong spouse- these are all important things. Surely we have so much to do in life that a belief in God is merely wasting the little time we have as it is to get all these other things on order?! Why search for “God”, when we already have our own world where we are in fact: “The God”?!

much so that they eventually killed him. This had all been predicted years before in the Old Testament of the bible (read it if you want, Isaiah 53 talks about Jesus). Jesus said some pretty controversial things, claiming that there was a major problem with human beings- that all of us have sinned by rebelling against God. According to the bible, we all do things that we want which are against what God has planned instead of following Him and getting true life.

Last issue our editor Tamer Asfahani wrote an article regarding religion titled the God We Don’t See, Univere Iss 3, Vol 12, p26. The following article is in direct response to Tamers peace.


fter reading your article not change with the circumstance ‘The God We Don’t See’ by saying that, ‘who are we in the previous edition of the to change the words of God’, Universe, we felt the need to implying that it is hypocritical This view, although taken by many, So, is “true life” just about being a share our views on issues raised to do so. On part of this point is not the one shared by everyone. good person then? And if it is, then in your article (and other articles we agree. Religious groups that Religion, despite massive opposition, aren’t all religions just as “good” as about ‘religion’). take scripture as, excuse the is a concept evident in all cultures of each other? They’re all about being pun, ‘Gospel’ - those that do not the world, not just our own Western a good person, right? I’m sure we all You claimed that the purpose permit of differing interpretations “So, is “true life” just about being a good person of your article was to provide and refuse to accept the fallibility then? And if it is, then aren’t all religions just as us with a more thoughtful point of the humans who arguably see, of view, as opposed to previous hear or feel the word of God, a ‘good’ as each other?” articles. However, after reading word of God that is then written one. For centuries people have created like to think of ourselves as moral- your article we feel that it did not down in a human, not Godly, doctrines to explain the causes and friendly to others, not dropping litter, at all achieve a balanced point of language, often centuries after it has been ‘heard’ – could perhaps purpose of our existence. All people etc etc- isn’t this enough? The answer view. be described as hypocritical. (The search for meaning in life. So, why do is no, I don’t think it is. Personally, if people believe in gods? And- more to Christianity were about “being a good You set philosophy up as individual Gospels, for example, the point- what does this have to do person”, I think I’d have been chucked something that can judge were written at different times and with us? out years ago. Sure, Jesus was a good objectively ‘life, its meaning and under different circumstances. person, but there was a lot more to it everything else that religious The different tones in which each beliefs try to justify.’ Thus, talks about the Jewish people is a As a Christian people argue that I than that. already in the beginning of the perfect example). approach this issue with tinted glasses, being biased in favour of religious Jesus Christ came to earth for a article you weight the argument tendencies. Obviously, I can’t deny purpose- to be the Saviour of the in favour of non-religious However, religions cannot be that I’m religious, being a Christian! world. The bible teaches us that we all views without any supporting taken as a whole. There are However, I do believe it’s important to deserve to go to Hell for going against arguments. It is true that in many numerous factions and differing consider that there’s more to religion God! (Complete separation from cases a philosophical viewpoint interpretations of particular than obeying a set of doctrinal beliefs God). This is a bold statement, but if “You say that, ‘If people are meant to find and following the traditions of our you’re thinking it’s unfair then the fact religion they will’. So do you mean that it’s ancestors. that we all deserve to be makes it fair. wrong to pursue it?” So Jesus came to earth to die for us I’d like to explain that I’ve only been as a substitute for all the things we’ve may well be more objective religions. By judging harshly a Christian for 3 years. Admittedly I done wrong. In dying for the bad we than religion, but it is certainly those people who live their life was brought up in a Christian family, do we were given an opportunity to not necessarily more objective; according to their own version but I hated all the Christian things my come to Jesus and ask for forgiveness indeed, philosophers, like any of their religion you contribute parents were involved in at that time and be saved. That is grace! other human beings, always to the push to extremism that has and yup, you got it, ended up rebelling provide arguments from their own grown over the last decades. You against them. I took the massive This ‘true life’-according to the bible, perspective, they are necessarily also disrespect the way in which step and told my parents I wasn’t a means living life with God at the and inescapably biased. many religious people truly Christian, to which they responded centre. How is this different from all internalise their beliefs rather that they already knew-much to other religions? Well it’s often been You then move on to arguing that than simply follow the laws of my surprise. (I guess parents aren’t said to me that religion is about the ‘you either follow it (religion) to their parents or culture. completely stupid after all!) This do’s and don’ts, the fact that we have to the word or you may as well just showed me then, that my lifestyle had do things to get to God. For Christians forget to claim you are religious.’ Liberals (like our selves) can be reflected my beliefs. My parents had we don’t have to do anything because Why? If someone claims to just as guilty of bias as those who sussed me out purely from seeing that God AKA Jesus Christ came to us. I be charitable, do they have to follow religions. When liberals I wasn’t living according to the beliefs obey the bible out of love for God, give EVERY single belonging caricature all religious beliefs they held. I realised then that you’re because the bible outlines a loving away? Of course not - people as dogmatic, which your article most definitely not born a Christian! God who wants to know the people he are imperfect. And you say later seems to do, and then leave them I wasn’t just a Christian because my created, (yes, that’s you and me) -and that ‘what people fail to realise nowhere to turn by criticising parents were. wants us to start paying attention to is that we really only are human, them for not holding ‘true’ to the Him. Besides, these guidelines for life and we are prone to mistakes and ‘word of God’, the argument is This begs the question then, of what are there to protect us and give us the we do make them.’ Exactly. But truly biased, and it is you who are a Christian is, and what the Christian best possible happiness whilst here on why does this only apply to non- undermining rational discussion. religion is all about, if not just a earth. This is “true life”. religious people? You imply that tradition passed on through families those who claim to be religious You are quite right to ask the and people groups? Well, at the centre are hypocrites? Surely this is question, how do you know of Christianity is Jesus; a man who (If you have anything to say about then a contradiction. that what you believe is right or taught and did miraculous things anything that I have written then ewrong is also right or wrong to for only 3 years (the equivalent to a mail me at I You ask why people break away someone else? You can’t. And degree, in today’s terms!), about 2000 would be happy to talk with anyone.) from their faith and still claim to we also agree that if a religion years ago. He was considered a rebel be religious, and you respond to dominated the world it could by religious leaders at the time, so the argument that religions should be described as another form of

globalisation – Christianity has had exactly that effect since the Roman Empire adopted it. But it is certainly not ‘just’ a form of globalisation. Religion is so many things on so many levels, and it is an incredibly personal thing. You insult all those who hold deep beliefs by omitting this fact. Your second last paragraph is admirable (although it generalises about religions, as does the rest of the article). The fact of human fallibility is probably the most important fact in the world. But religions can adapt to that fact, and in many cases they have done so (the theory of evolution is an example). Like most other people we agree with you when you say that faith is a personal thing. However, you go on to say that ‘this idea that religion is a message that needs to be heard is wrong’. But why is telling someone what you believe wrong? Especially if it is part of your belief that it should be shared. Obviously there are intrusive and non-intrusive ways of doing this, but to suggest that someone shouldn’t write articles promoting their ideas/beliefs is tantamount to saying that because you don’t like an opinion it shouldn’t be heard. You’re a journalist for God’s sake - the free exchange of opinions is the very thing that you would surely criticise some religions for! You say that, ‘If people are meant to find religion they will’. So do you mean that it’s wrong to pursue it? That we’re wrong to live our lives promoting it? Please! In your own words, Mr Editor: It’s hard enough trying to be human without being told we are existing in the worst possible way. Think about it.

By: Richard Chumbley and Karen Jorgensen


Issue 4 Volume12

IT’S VOLUNTEER YEAR! Early in 2004, Chancellor Gordon Brown said that 2005 would be the Year of the Volunteer. The Home Office has set two themes of the Year; young people and employee volunteering and is funding two lead agencies, Volunteering England and CSV, to run campaigns to support the Year. You can find out more about this by looking on the website where it says:

- Increase the number of volunteers, particularly individuals from marginalised groups and young people - Open up more volunteering opportunities in the public and voluntary sector - Raise the profile of the work volunteers are doing nationwide - Thank volunteers everywhere for their time and commitment Volunteer organisations and the Year

All volunteer organisations are being encouraged to participate in and benefit from the Year of the Volunteer 2005 and each month there will be different themes. February’s theme will be Youth and Children, and as part of that Student Volunteering England is getting involved and is also promoting Student Volunteer week which will run 21-27 February 2005. On the website studentvol. they say that in the ‘Youth

Row Row Row your Boat...

As the festivities begin in England Sion packed his bags to travel to the Portuguese capital of Lisbon to embark on a 9 day Tall Ship Adventure sailing holiday. Come hell or high water Sion was determined to enjoy warm weather, wide, Blue Ocean and not a Santa in site. First Impressions: At first site the 60 metre square rigged “Stavros S Niarchos” is a magnificent site. Standing high the water at Lisbon docks its two masts reach 45 metres into the air. The ship is a close replica of an old “ship of the line” before engines were invented (thankfully the Stavros actually has engines installed). Staffed by 6 full time crew, every member of the voyage is welcomed to join in the day to day running and experience of sailing the ocean using a total 1162 square metres of sail. This does involve climbing the rigging!!!! Life on Board: Imagine it’s a bit like being a pirate! Sleeping in hammocks, visiting foreign countries, climbing the rigged and spending

OUT AND ABOUT IN LONDON Volunteer Centre in the Students’ Union. Here you can find out about all the opportunities available and also there is a Volunteer Co-ordinator who will help you to find what you are looking for.

The Year’s main aims are to:

all your “quiet time” enjoying the watching the sea go by. No scurvy though. Crewing a tall ship is a unique and exhilarating experience. One could never imagine climbing onto the masts and out on the yards (the sticky out bits) to release the sails, Though you were never forced if you didn’t want to, as there were plenty of volunteers! Steering was also an amazing experience, imagine being responsible for steering 493 tonnes of vessel into port (all under the careful instruction of the captain of course!). My best times were spent at 4am (ships operate a watch system, meaning you spend different ‘shifts’ on bridge duty) under the stars and sails watching the sea go by as I sailed on course. Ports visited: Much as I enjoyed the sea, the voyage was also an opportunity to visit foreign ports. It’s very odd seeing Christmas decorations next to orange trees in the Spanish town of Cadiz, also, Gibraltar is a very

Volunteering Month’ celebrating the Year of the Volunteer, Student Volunteer Week is a chance to reward amazing volunteers, celebrate the work being done and promote the greatness of student volunteering to everyone!


As it is the Year of the Volunteer the aim is to get more students’ than ever volunteering and being aware of the opportunities available. It would be great to hear from people who would like to get more involved with planning projects or being on the committee. In particular people who would like to work on developing art, drama and sport projects in local schools, or people who would like to set up a volunteer conservation group. These are just a few ideas; if you can think of other ways you would like to volunteer in the community all suggestions are very welcome.

Out with Abie Longstaff THIS WEEK: Oriental City HIGHLIGHTS: Food Hall Oriental Supermarket Shops Sega World NEED TO KNOWS: 399 Edgware Road Bus 614 from College Lane campus to Edgeware tube then 15 min walk. Ask at tube station for directions! OR From Edgware tube go to Colindale. Car Park on site Opening hours: 1000hrs to 2200hrs For more info call: 020 -8200 009

Formerly known as Yaohan Plaza, this local China Town is a Mecca for those craving Asian food and goodies. Oriental City is a covered mall with an Asian theme. It has shops selling oriental clothes, trinkets and cheap ceramics as well To find out more come to the as an enormous Oriental supermarket How you can get involved Volunteer Centre, call 01707 with Eastern vegetables, noodles, 285001 or send an email to sauces and meats. There are cooking As always there are many ways demonstrations and tastings of to get involved, and the best way all kinds of weird and wonderful to find out how is to come to the snacks. The Sega World is packed with people on Star Wars Simulators and dance mats and there is even a mini-bowling section. The main hall Please go to page 8 where you can has stalls selling Chinese lanterns, find more information on how to handbags and gadgets and there is help a stage area for displays of dragon dancing, Chinese Opera, martial arts and more. However the highlight of the visit has to be the fabulous food hall. A seating area in the middle is surrounded by food stalls selling every type of Eastern food from Korean to Japanese, Thai to Vietnamese and everything in between. The fruit juices are wonderful – freshly squeezed tropical smoothies. As an ex Hong-Konger I have been getting my Asian fix from Oriental City for many years now and find it uncannily similar to the shopping malls of the Far East. A great experience for nostalgic Asians or anyone who fancies being transported into VERY cheap place for drinks, with for a photo opportunity! another world for an afternoon. For bottled spirits averaging about Gibraltar apes (one of which an authentic celebration, go on 22nd £4!!! actually jumped on my head) Jan for Chinese New Year – watch Storms (Scary!) the dragon dancing and have a New Overall Impression: Amazing views (The sea is so many Year feast. Kung Hey Fat Choi! What an amazing time! This different colours!) trip away allowed me to gain my Cheap alcohol CELEBRATE CHINESE NEW residential section of my Duke Sea Sickness! YEAR ON JAN 22 of Edinburgh’s award, has given a real good time. I can’t wait to More info : go again. Things to watch out for on a tall ships voyage Dolphins (seen on two occasions) Other ships! Of which some will An article by Sion divert course, in front of your bows Bragginton

Tsunami Appeal:


Issue 4 Volume 12

Events World wide event, Crush DJ,s will broadcast world wide from the Hutton Hall 26th January


Wilde’s Word


i everyone! I hope that you all enjoyed your winter break and have come back feeling refreshed. It’s becoming make or break time in the sporting calendar. The next few weeks will decide the fate of a number of our sporting teams. Whether it will be the push for success or the fight for survival. A mention must go to all our teams that are currently sitting top of their leagues, striving for promotion; Mens 1st Football, Men and Womens Basketball, Badminton and Netball 2nds are sitting 2nd. Womens 1st Team Football are league champions so have a guaranteed play off fixture for promotion. Well done to you all! Once again the Hurricanes have had a strong start to this campaign and are currently undefeated, and in charge of their league. Semester A’s Intramural League victors were ‘Little John FC’. It was a tense final between the winners and ‘PSV Hungover’ that needed extra time and penalties. A big well done must go to all the teams that entered. Look out for the Semester B league and subsequent Knockout competition. Good luck to all those involved For all you students that don’t play sport, but enjoy watching, why not spend your free Wednesday or Sunday afternoons supporting your fellow students. All the home fixtures take place at the Sports Village on the de Havilland site. Not only do you get the chance to watch top quality sport for free, but you can also join in with the social events that take place after each sporting event. This years RaG campaign is on a

steady course. RaG week has helped to contribute to the running total that is just shy of £2000. On behalf of the RaG committee a big thanks to all of you that donated. Efforts by certain sport teams have not gone unnoticed; you have definitely earned yourself some brownie points, especially with the Colours Award Ceremony not that far away! Semester B will see the RaG campaign move to sponsored events, keep a look out for these. If you would like to organise your own sponsored event visit www. to download a sponsorship pack.

As mentioned earlier Colours Award Ceremony is coming up. The annual Ceremony is held to recognise individual and team efforts in sporting excellence and achievement at both a local and national level, so look out for nomination forms soon. Before I leave you for this issue a special mention must go to the Drama society. Not only did they help to raise money for RaG but they also put on a fantastic Christmas production. If you didn’t manage to watch it, you missed out. Look out for future work. All that is left for me to say is good luck in your forth coming exams and best wishes for the New Year. Take care people,

Katie Katie Wilde V.P Student Activities 01707 285 006


Sport Round Up... Mens Basketball

Women’s Football



HSU Mens Basketball team are currently second in their league, London South Bank are in first position, however Herts have already played the current leaders twice, defeating them on both occasions. After starting the season with a defeat to London Met, the team have really come together and should not finish lower than 2nd which would allow entry into Trophy, If you are interested in helping toping the league will lead to organise activities, have any to promotional playoffs and ideas or just want to do something further Championship action. for charity, please contact me on or come and find me in the volunteer centre on the College Lane site, or the Students Union Clubs and Societies office at de Havilland.

Issue 4 Volume12



etball 1st Team are second but are eagerly chasing Imperial Medics for the top spot. Herts have already suffered a defeat from Imperial, and with them due to meet in the remaining 3 fixtures that Herts need to win, it will prove to be a close fought match.

Picture Gallery

fter beating Brunel 6-2 at home the Womens 1st Team were crowned BUSA South East Division 1 League winners, despite having 3 matches remaining. The early success can be put down to great results of late, including a 9-0 beating of Brighton, and a 3-1 Home win over Portsmouth. The team will now look ahead to the promotional playoff for a Premier League place, and the Championship competition where they will be keen to continue their undefeated record for this season.

Mens Football


ens 1st Team sit at the top of the BUSA South Eastern Conference 1A with 2 games in hand on their closest opponents. The team has enjoyed 7 straight wins and finished 2004 with a draw against St Marys. Needing only 5 points from their last four fixtures to secure the top place they are on course for the promotional playoffs and the Championship.

Spot the ball.

Draw in the ball, rip the picture out, take it the SU office to Maz and claim your mystery prize.



Issue 4 Volume 12

Intra-Mural Football I

ntra-mural football provides an 11-a-side football for UHSU students who enjoy regular participation but don’t want the commitment to weekly training and traveling that the National University Leagues require! Wednesday 27th October saw the launch of Semester A’s intramural league. 12 teams entered and were divided in to 2

The top 2 teams from each pool entered the Semi-Finals. ‘Little John FC’ beat ‘Poetry in Motion’ 4-1 and progressed to the final. The game between ‘PSV Hungover’ and ‘Muscateers’ had to be abandoned due to a serious injury to a ‘PSV Hungover’ player. The game was rescheduled for the following week, but unfortunately the ‘Muscateers’ couldn’t field a team, so ‘PSV Hungover’

Once in a life time opportunity for all of us


ondon is up against Paris, Madrid, New York and Moscow in one of the toughest races, to win the right to host the greatest sporting festival on earth, the 2012 Olympic and Paralympics Games. The UK has missed out on three recent bids, Birmingham (1992) and Manchester (1996, 2000). The feedback from the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has been that London would have a much better chance of getting the games, feedback that is held in the fore front of the minds of all the pools. After 5 fixtures ‘Poetry advanced to the final. people involved in the current bid, in Motion’ sat at the top of Pool namely the 3 principle stakeholders; A, and ‘PSV Hungover’ at the On a very cold, blustery Friday the Government, the Mayor of top of Pool B. The 2 pools were afternoon the two finalists London and the British Olympics then put back together with couldn’t be separated in normal Association playoffs determining the final time, scoring 2 goals each. Extra league standings, 6th position time could not find a winner, A golden opportunity for London. Pool A played 6th position Pool which meant the league was “A once in a life time opportunity B for final positions 11th and decided on penalties. ‘Little for all of us” Lord Sebastian Coe, John FC’ won 5-3 and were Chairman London 2012 12th and so. crowed League Winners for Semester A. Well done to all Staging the Olympic Games and that entered. Hope to see you Paralympic Games in 2012 is an next semester. opportunity to bring about positive change on a massive scale. The games would not only add to our nations sporting heritage but also enrich communities, boost our economy and celebrate diversity of UHSU holds an annual Colors Awards Cer- our capital.

Colours Award Ceremony

emony to recognise individual and team efforts in sporting Londons tourism industry will excellence and achievement at both a local and national level. benefit, not just for the duration of the games but in the run up to and Awards are given for the following categories: long after. Hosting the games is also likely to improve the performance Club Colours- for dedication to a club in a playing or organi- of domestic athletes. For example Spain won 13 Golds in Barcelona zational capacity 1992 compared to just 1 in Seoul 1988. Half Colours- for county representation

Full Colours- for national sporting representation

This years Ceremony will be held on the Wednesday 27th April, so look out for nomination forms soon!

London 2012 plan-at-a-glance An overview of some of the details and claims by the London team in their 600 page candidate file submitted in November.



• There will be 9.6 million tickets for sale - 8 million for the Olympics and 1.6 million for the Paralympics.

• There will be two major park and ride sites off the M25 with a combined capacity of 12,000 cars, within 25 minutes of the Olympic Park.

• Organisers say 75% of all tickets will cost less than £50 and offer free travel on London transport. • A sell-out rate of 82% for the Olympic Games and 63% for the Paralympics is estimated. • Tickets for the athletics will start at £15 and there will be 20,000 £10 tickets for the Olympic Park to watch events on big screens. Olympic Village • The village will have 17,320 beds and provide each athlete with 16 square metres floor space. • Each apartment will have a TV, internet access, a private courtyard. • The dining hall will cater for 5,500 athletes at a time. • The Olympic Village Polyclinic will be converted into a lifelong learning centre for the east London community, with a nursery, primary and secondary schools. • The village will be converted into 3,600 apartments, most of them will be affordable housing. • The media and press centre would become a creative industries centre for east London. • After the Games four arenas would be ‘deconstructed’ and relocated to other parts of the UK along with the swimming pools that are used for water polo and the 50m training pools. • Charities will be given the sports equipment used in the Games for free.

• There are 9,000 planned park and ride spaces to be made available at Ebbsfleet where spectators can board a 10-minute shuttle service to the Olympic Park. This is the same station where continental spectators traveling by Eurostar will join the shuttle to the Olympic Park. The next step in the bidding process is the visit from the IOC Evaluation Commission, who will be in London from 16th to 19th February. London is the second city on the schedule, and the commissions final report is expected to be crucial. The dates of the visits are likely to be beneficial as it falls during the school halfterm, when traffic levels in the city are likely to be lower than normal. The report focuses on such issues as venues, security, transportation, hotels and financing, however, public support is absolutely vital as the IOC will award the Games to the city that wants it. An independent poll will be carried out by the IOC to test not just London’s support, but the rest of the U.K. Lord Coe hopes that at least one million people will back the bid. Back the Bid for the 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games at www.


Issue 4 Volume12


HUSKIS ON THE PISTE! By Sophie Peaple.


t was that time of year again, where the Huskis took their annual ski trip and this time we went to the ski resort of Val Claret near Tigne in France. We went with a company called ‘On the Piste’ who ensured that we had a good time and showed us the various nightlife and clubs, which our resort had to offer and considering their taste in music consists of French techno, the bars weren’t that bad! The week was an eventful one to say the least! We all thought we were in for

boys donated by the way). Meanwhile all the other Huskis were doing six hours of skiing a day and about nine hours of partying and clubbing at night (sorry to rub it in Gatesy!). This wasn’t the end of the broken bone escapade though. On the second day another Huski aptly named fish boy, was doing suicidal jumps in

“Meanwhile all the other Huskis were doing six hours of skiing a day and about nine hours of partying and clubbing at night”

a week of skiing and partying – burning the candle at both ends you could say, which a majority of us did, however some people couldn’t as they decided to go and break a few bones in the process!

On the first day a member of the Huski race team took a nasty fall and was air lifted by a helicopter off a mountain. He was rushed to hospital where they found that he had broken his collarbone in four places and had to have a metal pin inserted to hold it all together (the X-rays are pretty impressive!). He had to stay there for three days and stare at white walls and read French porn (which the Huski

the snow park and fractured his wrist in seventeen places. As he wasn’t allowed to ski, he decided to buy fireworks, take pictures of random things and learn new dance moves in his apartment, which he would demonstrate to us at night in the après ski bars. During the week, we also had a member who broke not his bones, but his skis! Into a mogul he went and crack went his £400 skis. (A mogul by the way isn’t a French skier but a snow hill on the slopes). We also had various sprains, stolen skies and sickness within our camp; however we continued to stay positive and get the most out of our holiday. We continued to ski everyday and were especially lucky to have the beautiful resort of Val d’Isere next to us, which we took advantage of and skied there daily. We took trips to Le

Lac and Le Lavachet, which were also near our resort and boasted beautiful slopes, restaurants and bars, not to mention the stunning views we got to see everyday. The Huskis tour of 2005 is over now for another year. We’ve had so many laughs and an extremely entertaining holiday! Check out the Huskis website to see our photos and if anyone is interested in joining please contact Rick or Steve via e-mail at .



Issue 4 Volume 12

By Ginger Rich

My Shaft is Bent


ersonally, it’s been rather a Lacrosse Christmas. The amount of protective equipment that I now own makes it a little harder to stand up on the pitch let alone chase down burly men in pursuit of a little ball. I’m not a big wuss, honest, it’s just that if you were as accident prone on and off the pitch as I am you’d be kitted to the eyeballs too. Many of the more ‘excitable’ team members have ensured that their main presents this year have been Lacrosse related and, thanks to my beloved Jen, I am now also the proud owner of a stick that is almost as tall as I am, replacing my old and slightly bent one. If you see me in the bar please don’t ask me to show my ‘long pole’ to you, especially when I’ve had a few pints, you won’t be grateful… BUT, to this month’s news. The most memorable, or not depending on who was driving, event before the New Year was our Christmas Social. Our esteemed Social Secretaries Hass and Sam ensured that we all had an affordable Christmas meal in everyone’s favourite St. Albans pub, The Cross Keys. Roughly thirty of us congregated in our best outfits, apart from Henning who left all his decent clobber back in the Fatherland, to enjoy the company of many St. Albans Christmas revellers including Hass’ friend Clive. Who promptly sat himself at our table announcing he was

‘Clive’ and ‘Hass’ Friend’ to anyone who would listen. Clive, we salute you and hope you barged into many other festive dinners by the end of the year. After ramming turkey slices (or nut roast to you veggies) and roast potatoes into ourselves, certainly not for the last time this holiday, we all descended on the Font still in our best outfits and took to the dance floor for the remainder of the evening. No one seemed to be too distraught at the appearance of several tell tale purple stains on their best suits or frocks by the end of the evening but I think many mothers were assisting in the laundry a week later after the end of term. The weekend before our final get together of 2004 saw our last game of the year at home to University of East Anglia’s Mixed team. Having read up on the Mixed game’s rules, Dan McCluskey decided to abandon his position in midfield and, in his own words, ‘ref this game properly unlike the monkeys that we’ve had previously’. Thanks to a ‘proper’ ref and the experience we had gleaned from previous matches… we lost the game. BUT, we only lost it by 13 goals to 9, making it our best match so far with goals from both of our Mixed Captains Julia Innes and Sarah Claridge, Dan Vickers and Hass amongst others. The second half of the match saw a greater bond between the defensive players and this, with the admirable first

time performance in goal by Matt Smith, led to us actually winning the last two quarters. Now I know what you’re all thinking – when the hell are they actually going to start winning anything? The answer I would give you all is SOON, especially the way we’ve been playing. Our next Mixed game is at home to Cambridge and with memories of our first ever

is single handedly responsible for introducing Lax to at least eight European countries including Norway, Germany and Italy. With the Centurion Lacrosse Club he has also helped to create the UK teams of Bath, Gloucester and Northampton. Following a lengthy presentation of the creation and structure of the club and a tour of the sports facilities,

game still echoing with the sounds of defeat our aim will be to ensure they aren’t let off as gently as last time. Those of you who have been reading my articles over the past few months (anyone? hello?) who are interested in coming to watch us play our next game is on Sunday 23rd January at 1pm on the farthest deHavilland sports pitch. COME AND WATCH, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

Mr Mundy assured us that we would receive the full support of the ELF and of Centurions Lacrosse Club, the committee of which have generously donated ten new helmets and ten new pairs of gloves to the Comets.

“We also need many more female players in order to entice a top Womens coach from St. Albans and to boost the numbers of our Mixed Squad...”

So, following that shameless plug, onto Mens team news. We were very proud to welcome the President of the European Lacrosse Federation, Peter Mundy, to the University to discuss the progress and development of the Hertfordshire Comets. Mr Mundy

Now that we’ve got the equipment needed to play Mens Lacrosse you’ll be seeing a lot more of the aggressive game that whetted many people’s appetites at the Fresher’s Fair. Speaking of Freshers… this will be the first year that the Students’ Union have organised a second Fresher’s Fair for Semester B, allowing us to recruit more players. So for those of you that feel too long has passed to join the Comets, you couldn’t be more

wrong. From this month onwards we will be playing full contact matches against our sister club the Welwyn Warriors every fortnight in our Wednesday training sessions, not to mention various friendlies against clubs such as Oxford, UEA, Hitchin and the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst. We also need many more female players in order to entice a top Womens coach from St. Albans and to boost the numbers of our Mixed Squad, so ladies if you’re feeling the need to work off what Henning calls ‘Christmas Gold Bags’ then there’s really no other exciting way of exercising here at Herts. I for one am quite impressed with my golden bags that I’ve amassed over the holiday period, but it looks like it’s time to shake them off or Henning’ll make me do press ups. Oh and for the record, those shirts we’re wearing are NOT our team shirts, fingers crossed they’ll be here before February. And it’s my birthday at the end of this month so you must all think of something nice to say to me. I’m off to play with my pole.

Thats it for this issue, we hoped you enjoyed reading it, and remeber the next deadline is 9th February


this is the enfamas studnet issue - ive blured his face out