Page 1

Good Teeth Day

Is this the next Fabregas?

12 March, Good Teeth Day: New Public Holiday announced to honour Dr McKeown

Hamish Cary-McKeown talks exclusively about his future in the Gunners squad. Sport, Page 3

G2 Page 5

70/Saturday 12 March 2011 Published in Hemel Hempstead and Madchester


Ode to the Lassie of Queenzieburn As family and friends from all over the country gather to celebrate the 70th birthday of Grace McKeown, thegracedian asks just who is this legendary woman? Our ace investigative team have delved into the archives to find information to enlighten us all on this intriguing Scottish lass. The British Dental Association: “She was brilliant, of course, but we weren’t happy with her strange ‘preventive approach’. Where’s the money in that? Her work created a whole generation of children with straight teeth and no fillings, when she could have been rich! She also did it on the NHS, which made life difficult for us as now everyone wants her quality of treatment.”

Cucumber Carnivore Strikes Again: Shock Attack on Vegetarian Family Bristol was in deep shock last night as news of another callous attack on their vegetarian population was discovered.

very closely together, looking very bemused,” said their mother, who herself has been a vegetarian ever since she gave up meat.

The Kings Langley Rotary and Round Table: “Her practise village was the pride of the village; very caring and elegant. But then come election days – whoa – Grace would come steaming down the High Street in her lovely Mercedes decked out in Labour rosettes and red ribbons. I mean she’s a dentist, a leading professional in the community! We were shocked.”

In what can only be described as a depraved attack, two young vegetarian children, whose parents are also vegetarian, found themselves impaled together by a cucumber that had been purposely hurled over their garden wall. The small, pasty-looking children had been playing quietly in their garden, happily counting lentils and soya beans, when the green missile ploughed right into their heads.

Their father, himself a failed vegan, told us “they were very unlucky, it really should have been me as just moments before I had been lying in that exact spot. I had only nipped inside to get some more carrot juice with flax seed oil. I am mortified.”

Dacorum Council: “Back in the 60s she came to us with an idea to build a playschool – How bizarre is that? We stalled for a while and said we’d be responsible for it if she could get it built - we never thought she actually do it! Next thing it’s being opened by Katherine Whitehorn with a lot of publicity. Then she went on to help found another one and now they can be found everywhere. We just hope she hasn’t got plans to get involved with better facilities for older people! Green End Road neighbours: “We so envy her lifestyle. Not only is she really nice and talks to everyone, she has people in and out of the place all the time, lunches, suppers,

get-togethers. If it isn’t that she is off out with friends to the movies, the Tate Gallery or the Chelsea Flower Show. Her house and garden look like something from a magazine and she looks so great and drives a cool car. And, if that wasn’t enough, she also travels all round the UK and often up to the Spanish mountains. If this is what being 70 is all about, bring it on!” Charity colleagues: “Grace has worked for numerous charities over the years and supports a lot more. One of her best fundraising ideas is the Burns night celebration, which she orchestrated years ago. It has raised a lot of money and is so popular it has become a local institution.

“I looked up to see them standing

Archivist found previously unpublished cartoon by infamous scrawler Harry

The police have issued a warning to all vegetarians to be on the look out for anything suspicious that may lead to the capture of the Cucumber Carnivore before he strikes again.

Rare Pinball Portfolio book available for £159:00

So how do we honour such a woman? Nothing would be better than a toast to the Queenzieburn lassie on her 70th:

Long may she reel!”

Exclusive to The Gracedian today; excerpt from brother and sister duo's new story, 'Nana' Once upon a time there lived a little boy and girl called Hamish and Niamh. They had a lovely grandma that they called Nana. She had brown hair. She was very nice. One cold and frosty night Hamish

and Niamh went to their Nana’s house, and on the way they went into the woods. Hamish got lost while they were looking for the house and Niamh searched everywhere for him. She was scared when she found him as he

was stuck because a tree branch fell on him it was heavy. Niamh didn’t know what to do. Then suddenly she knew, she would fetch her Nana because Nana always came to the rescue. To Be Continued.....

Rare, magnificent coffee-table book about pinball machines, from the classic era through the 1970s. Beautifully written it has a history through the origin of the machine, their legal suppression and eventual comeback. A must have for every pinball enthusiast. Buy it from ebay TODAY!


a commemorative newspaper for Grace McKeown's 70th birthday.

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you