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“Silly Suzy” It started with a whisper. Not from a far off corner or even across the room, no not there. It is a sticky but smooth murmur right against her inner ear. It’s the kind of sound that would slink up and down her cerebral lobes, forcing until it penetrated right into the soft space and settled. From the second she walked in the door of her small apartment she prayed someone was home, the monster doesn’t like company. She twisted the old knob slowly and listened to the creak of the hinge. If momma was home she would hear the door hit the opposing wall and call out to her. But as usual there was no call, the house was empty. Well not empty. Suzy walked through the door and braced herself for the whispers. At first there is nothing, nothing but the gnawing cramps from her stomach. She goes into the bathroom. Flips on the light. Remembers how much she hates this room. The walls were too grey, the floors too white, the light too bright. It all stung her eyes. Her gaze fell onto the mirror. Her breasts pushed unnaturally high in her push-up, shirt thin and tight across her ribs, jeans tugging her thong unbelievably high into the crease of her none existent ass. She was tired. Her face was thin with

Silly Suzy

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jagged edges and the eyes set deep and hollow in its socket. Her hair had begun to thin and the once crimson color was faded to a dull lifeless orange. She sighed and the sight. “Ugly.” It was a whisper. Deep. Dark. “Ugly. Fat.” She didn’t have to look up, she felt it behind her. Towering and thin. It had no skin, just a tar black exterior stretched over boney legs, pubic bone, and ribs. Stretched so tight that inhaling and exhaling was nothing but a slight tension and relaxation of the membrane that covered its figure. “Ugly. Fat. Alone.” She looked up and saw its face, it sat its bulbous cranium on her shoulder staring right into her through the reflection. Its mouth was pulled from nonexistent ear to nonexistent ear. No lips to cover the rows of thick, blindly white, block teeth. No nose. No visible eyes. They had long ago glazed over blacker than night, poisoned with the horror it saw in every creature it gazed upon. “Tisssk. Tisssk. Tisssk.” It hissed, clicking its tongue against its sticky ink throat, into Suzy’s ear. Its breath smelled of decay and Silly Suzy

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the words felt too heavy against her. “Look at your ssself, LOOK!” It grabbed both sides of her face with its sharpened finger like appendages. She opened her eyes and let out a horrified gasp. Her cheeks were swollen with gooey fat, her lips had filled into plump mounds and her eyes were wet with tears of pain for herself and from the sting of its unnatural touch. “What have you done Sssuzy?, poor poor Sssuzy.” “No. No. I…I did what you said, I swear I did, I promise!” she squealed. “Who will love you now. Poor Sssuzy. Ugly. Fat. Alone. Sssilly Sssuzy.” She pushed past it and dropped heavy and hard to the floor in front of the toilet. “Ugly. Fat. Alone. Ssstupid. Sssilly Sssuzy.” She plunged her index finger deep into her throat, scratching her uvula until bile forcefully spilled from her mouth, dripped from her nose, and dribbled down her chin in an oozing stream. She coughed and spit until she had emptied her stomach from everything except the air keeping its shape loosely. She looked up into where its eyes should be and listened to the crinkle of its plastic skin as its smile pulled up into a wickedly unnatural smirk. Silly Suzy

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“Now…” she started in between deep, exasperated breaths. “Now am I beautiful? Am I perfect? Will he love me now?” The monster was Suzy’s mentor, her creator, her builder. It slithered out from the shadow inside her heart when Blake left her, alone, ugly, and stupid. Left her for long legs, inverted flat stomach, perky breasts, long blonde hair, and ruby red lips. As she lay in a pool of her own insecurity and self-pity it came to her. Whispering its words and showing her how to fix herself. Each time she tried to pull away she could hear the whisper in her head. Ugly. Fat. Alone. Stupid. Pitiful. Silly Suzy. As the question left her lips the creatures expression melted

down. It reached out a dark limb and grabbed her

decaying arm roughly,

forced her to look it. Her arm

bubbled and overflowed with unwanted excess around its sliverious grip. Suzy screamed. The monster released her arm and it sank heavy to the floor. She glanced up in panic, its smile regained its strength and the monster pointed to the sink with its twiggy fingers. With her eyes she followed it to her mothers manicure scissors. The blades, short and sharp, hit the artificial light and glistened in her eyes. “Ugly. Fat. Alone. Ssstupid. Pitiful. Ussslessssss. Silly Suzy

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Sssilly Sssuzy. You mussst rid your ssself of all impuritiesss,” it hissed. She reached up and took the scissors from the counter. They were minuscule and cold against her palm. She opened the blades and tested its strength against her thumb. Running the smooth blade against her withered skin. It wasn’t hard for the steal to slice through flesh and allow thick, crimson liquored to drip from her and onto the linoleum floor. Drip. Drip. Drip. It Didn’t hurt. The being took her hand and brought it to its monstrous mouth and with its wide, rough, tongue it tasted her in a swift flicker of muscle movement. It let out a sinful noise from the back of its throat that was filled with pleasure and pain in one. “Ugly. Fat. Alone. Ssstupid. Pitiful. Ussslessssss. Weak. Sssilly Sssuzy. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?” its voice bellowed out of deep dark place in its torso and blew cold, steamy breath in my face. The scent of despair and defect hung in the air. She glared at the disgusting flesh which contained the gristled leftover of her fat, the remnants that were clinging onto her bone and muscle for dear life. So she placed the blade against her arm. Against the place where her ugly, fat, alone upper Silly Suzy

arm met her stupid, pitiful, Scott 5


useless, weak elbow. Suzy made a think line and watched the rust tinted substance flow down in a stream. She made matching slits again and again and again. Horizontal, vertical, slanted, shot, long incisions down her skin. Blood, warm and glossy, pooled around her. It sneaked into cracks in the floor, soaking into the shaggy green carpet around the toilet, fused into her jeans, and leaked onto her shirt. She wondered if she could scrub the imperfection right off of her bones, she could if she could get to them. Her head was blurry around the edges and black dots began to obscure her vision. She watched as the thing dropped with an un-oiled crash to its bony knees and began to slurp, lick, suck, and gulp at the juice that gave her life. It glided its way closer and closer, tongue dragging across the floor,

until it was face to face with her. It

was starting to be hard to keep her eyes open, she was so tired. Her arm burned and stung as she felt its sandpaper tongue run rough against it. It looked up at her as blood dripped from its lipless hole and stained its white teeth. It caused her stomach to churn against air. Her lids finally gave in and shut heavy and achy. Suzy heard a cry and her mother screaming her name. She wanted to open her eyes, to say she was sorry, to ask Silly Suzy

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for help, but it was too late. It started with a whisper. Not from a far off corner or even across the room, no not there. It is a sticky but smooth murmur right against her inner ear. “Good-bye. Ugly. Fat. Alone. Ssstupid. Pitiful. Usselessssss. Weak. Sssilly. Sssuzy.�

Silly Suzy

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Silly Suzy