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KT4’s ONLY FREE independent community magazine and business guide

Worcester Park Life

Oct 13 issue 64

C A R P E T S n N AT U R A L S n V I N Y L S n L A M I N AT E S


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Welcome to

our October edition Dear All,

You know where you stand in October and I like that! The flip flops have been retired until spring and it’s definite socks and shoes/boots weather. September gets confused with bursts of cold leading you to think the summer wardrobe should be hidden away, then lo and behold it’s BBQ weather again. Rarely does that happen in October and now it’s time to prepare for winter…. Our baking hot weather in July did cause one major setback – the Malden Fortnight Dog Show had to be cancelled, leaving lots of disappointed owners. So why not put Sunday 13th October in your diaries and head along to the Riding for the Disabled Centre in Epsom and support a great cause with your beloved 4 legged friend. You can read more about the classes on page 20 The Royal British Legion recently launched their 2013 Poppy campaign and are always looking for helpers locally. The Legion’s Director of Fundraising, Charles Byrne, said: “During this year’s Poppy Appeal, the Legion aims to raise £37 million to help care for our Armed Forces families, but we cannot achieve this goal without the fantastic support from our 350,000 volunteers who help to collect donations. “Volunteers are the lifeblood of our Poppy Appeal so I urge everyone to stand shoulder to shoulder with all those who serve and their families by giving anything from two hours to two weeks of their time for this truly fantastic cause.” To find out more about how you can help just tunr the page 10. And in the lead up to Christmas remember that we’re here to promote your local Christmas Fairs and Shopping Events – if you don’t tell us about them then I can’t tell everyone else! Finally… don’t forget that the clocks go back at the end of this month (26th October).

Next copy deadline: 17th Oct Published by Malden Media Limited 36 Rosebery Avenue, KT3 4JS 020 8336 2915 We also publish

Malden’s Village Voice

Notes from the Worcester Park Traders Assocation

Worcester Park basked in the sunshine as the pirates and princess themed fun day was held on Sat 31st Aug. Organised by the Worcester Park traders assoc with support from the Mayor of London, the car park at waitrose was Best wishes turned into a funfair, packed with face painting, Jenny Stuart, Editor & publisher bungee jumping a Punch and Judy show and P.S. Please remember to mention Worcester Park Life even a full size wrestling ring, complete with when replying to adverts and get in touch by masked wrestlers! 17th October if you’d like your business, Club or event Tracey Fitzmorris, said " We were really pleased to feature in the November edition(s). with how everything went, everyone had a great time. We hope to have many more summer fun days in the future." We are currently organising our Christmas event for the 6th Dec. Please remember to mention Worcester Park Life when you speak to our advertisers 4

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Poppy Collectors and Remembrace Parade November has once again appeared from nowhere - where does the time go? It only seems like a couple of months ago we were all together for the Remembrance Day service and parade. Once again our service begins at 10am – make sure you’re early to get a seat as it seems more people than ever are attending each year, which is good to see. In the lead up to this we shall be out on the streets at Waitrose, Iceland and Worcester Park station to collect donations for the very worthwhile Poppy appeal which means more than ever these days, with all the conflicts that are going on in the world. If you have any spare time and would like to help us as a volunteer collector, please pop in and see us as we always welcome all the help that can be offered! Please don’t forget that all the collectors are volunteers and work very hard to collect as much as possible.

Any donation, however small, is always welcome especially in these troubled times of today. As always it means so much to us all - especially to those fond memories of our loved ones friends and families alike. We still have membership vacancies so if you would like to join our club just pop in and see us at any time. Keith Martin Club Chairman



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History Early years of the 2nd Worcester Park Guides The 2nd Worcester Park Guide Company has been a part of the life of the Cheam Common part of KT4 for over 90 years, as it dates its formation to 1922. It was known until 1936 as 1st Cheam Common (St Philip’s) Guide Company, and met in the St Philip’s Church Hall in Lindsay Road. The first part of this hall had been built in about 1910, and an extension was added in 1922. In September 1932 a new hall was opened, which included a stage, and room to seat 250 people; at least part of the old hall appears to have been incorporated into the building. The 2nd Worcester Park Guides were among those who benefited from the new premises. Dorothy Luce, née Chittenden, recalled her time in the Guides in the 1930s, for their 80th anniversary in 2002: “My

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sister Joyce and I and Joan King formed a sort of secret society and called ourselves ‘The Awful 3’ with a complicated code and secret signs.” At this time the Company did not have any camps, so “We arranged to have an interview with the District Commissioner Miss Churton Taylor who lived in a large awe-inspiring house in The Avenue [no. 29], and it wasn’t long after that that we had a new young Captain, Dorothy Scales, and things really took off. It soon developed into an expanding, enthusiastic Company with District Competitions and rallies. To raise funds for these activities, we put on an ambitious concert in St Philip’s Church Hall, comprising sketches, tableaux, songs and a play about King Arthur.” Vera Crisp recalls that Dorothy Scales, who served as Captain in the 1930s-1940s, “was a wonderful person to run it all, we all loved her.” The hall “was heated with about four stoves, so each patrol would settle around one. In the winter, ‘Don’t put woolly jumpers on top’, she said, ‘Put your jumper underneath, put your uniform on top’.” Dorothy Luce also described “hikes across Epsom and Ashtead Common, making campfires and burning sausages, and summer camps – one at Handcross on the edge of a forest in Sussex. I have only to smell the smoke of a pinewood fire to be back singing ‘Taps’ at the end of the day with Captain and two other girls deep in the woods singing the echo while the sun sinks behind silhouetted trees.” Dorothy kept a beautifully-illustrated log book for Lily Patrol from 1937 to 1939, covering part of the time when Dorothy Scales was Captain and Marian Onslow was Lieutenant. I am grateful to Pat Nicholls (2nd Worcester Park Captain, 1965-92) for showing me a copy of the log; a copy can also be seen in the Archives and Local Studies Centre on the top floor of Sutton Library. The log describes regular activities at meetings in St Philip’s Hall, such as games, enrolments, patrol drill,

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tests, prayers and ‘taps’. It gives a detailed account of a concert held in the hall in November 1937 which included a sketch by the Brownies, The Brownie in Wonderland, followed by the Guides’ sketch, Drama as you like it, in which “the Cockneys especially received roars of laughter”, and a Guides’ play in which “Joyce, Joan and I came marching on as SCOUTS!! Captain asked us to give ’em a song so we started with a very popular one from ‘The Gang Show’ – ‘That Song in my Heart’”– shortly after which the three girls left the stage for a rapid change before coming back on dressed as knights. The meeting on 22nd July 1938 included a game of rounders, played outside because of the heat. “Then to our further delight Captain suggested a camp-fire and it wasn’t long before we were all sitting round an imaginary heap of glowing wood. We sang all the songs the Guides liked… until our voices began to get hoarse.” This was the last meeting before the summer camp: Dorothy recorded “This year our Company & 2 fourth Worcester Park Guides are going to Trelizza Farm, near Delabole, in Cornwall, but we are meeting a crowd of guides from Captain’s Captain’s company! on the way down, which, with officers, will make us a camp of 31.” 24th September 1938 saw the annual swimming gala at Wimbledon Baths: “All our company were longing for throat lozenges at the end of the gala but – did we cheer when we heard that the 2nd Worcester Park Brownies had won the Picture! – and the 2nd Worcester Park GUIDES had again – won the CUP!!!! The three Guides who won the relay for us received special book prizes – so that altogether 2nd Worcester Park Girl Guides walked off with all the prizes!!” Our illustrations this month comprise drawings from the Lily Patrol logbook, and a photograph taken after a Church Parade in 1937/8 (including Dorothy Scales in the centre of the middle row), outside the St Philip’s Hall. This is, incidentally, the best photograph I have so far seen of the outside of the hall: can any WPL readers supply one which shows more of the building? More about 2nd WP Guides in a future David Rymill article. In the meantime, don’t miss the Harvest Fayre at St Mary’s Church, Cuddington, at the top of The (020) 8330 6563 Avenue, on Saturday 5th October from 12 noon to 3pm, with a variety of stalls, a barbecue and cream teas. Please remember to mention Worcester Park Life when you speak to our advertisers 10

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SEPTEMBER 2013 UPDATE Lettings News This month we are looking forward to be welcoming back an old member of our team to our lettings department. Lorraine started working in Estate Agency as soon as she left school and came to us having worked for both local independent agents and nationals including Knight Frank in Kingston. She bought her own home through us when she moved into the area, and has since recommended us to many new clients. When Lorraine started a family she scaled down her working hours and joined us on a part time basis for a couple of years. Jackson Noon continues to expand and we needed a new team member with the right experience and, importantly, a real enthusiasm to help people. Meanwhile Lorraine felt the time was right to step back into her business suit and return to the job she loves. Her first love has always been Agency and when she asked us if there was any possibility of returning to us we had no hesitation. So now Lorraine is ready to face a new challenge and help us further increase the ever growing reach of Jackson Noon. The lettings market is busy, particularly at this time of year. Whether you are a vendor, buyer, landlord or tenant the end of the year is often a real move-by target. We are seeing a surge in the number of let-to-buy as well as buy-to-let investor enquiries. Tenant enquiries increase at this time of year as people move for work, school and similar often leaving it until after their summer holiday to begin their search but wanting to get settled prior to Christmas. If you are a landlord, or thinking about letting your home Lorraine and our lettings team will be very happy to advise you. Property Market in the News The property market as a whole continues to be very active. August demand was described as ‘unseasonably high’ in the national papers. That is certainly what we observed, though to be fair the market hasn’t really followed seasonal peaks and troughs for the better part of a decade and therefore it was more a case of business continuing as usual which has continued into September. Meanwhile the press are mulling over possibilities that the Bank of England may intervene in an attempt to curb property price rises. We’ve yet to meet an owner who would take less that their home would fetch so we are unsure how that would work! The news that house prices are rising is borne out by what we are seeing though of course the headline figures are UK averages and the true situation varies both regionally and according to property type. The London market has risen and risen and risen! Current predictions are that it will continue to rise for some years to come. That has a knock on effect in the outer London areas, including our own, as buyers seek better value property within commuting distance of London. Demand continues to be strong for most property types locally; with some benefitting more than others but the overall trend is certainly upwards. For a more personal view of how much your home may have increased in value please contact Peter or Sandra who will be happy to help you.


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Ruth Jemmett Writes Good riddance to bad rubbish Ruth Jemmett tells us how she has learned to love recycling Do you remember the days when everyone in this country had an average-sized dustbin to put their rubbish in? In those far off times how did we survive without bin-bags and countless sanitising fluids or powders? Somehow we managed to avoid The Plague, even though we crammed a whole variety of detritus into that bin, and held our noses each time we went near it. The sight of an occasional passing maggot was par for the course. Everything from chewed chicken bones to dead cats would be thrown in its direction, and when things got particularly manky, Jeyes Fluid would make an appearance. Instead of using bin-liners (yet to be invented) we wrapped any particularly offensive nasties inside old newspapers, which, more often than not, quickly became unravelled. The refuse collectors of that era deserved a bravery medal. The late singer, Lonnie Donegan, romanticised their image in his famous 1960’s song ‘My Old Man’s A Dustman’. A joke of that time was “What has wheels and flies?” Answer: The corporation dustcart”. (The M.R.S.A. of post-war years meant “My Rubbish Smells Awful”.) Then, gradually, ecologically-minded individuals introduced us to the world of recycling and better dustbin hygiene. The once smelly old public tips of yesteryear gradually gave way to incredibly organised waste disposal sites. I must admit that when we were first encourage to separate our waste I bridled against the idea. It seemed to be yet another symptom of a ’nanny-state’, which constantly told us what to do. In the course of everyday life I would sometimes note that something had been made from recycled paper, but I didn’t really understand what part I could play in saving the earth’s precious resources. The idea of separating from plastic, or spud peelings from cereal packets held as much allure for me as train watching or reading a treatise on the mating habits of the three-toed sloth. Even though, technically, we live in Worcester Park, we pay my Council Tax to Epsom and Ewell Borough Council. As the years have passed they have slowly but surely made sure that people such as us get involved in recycling. As they have equipped each household with a green bin for general rubbish, a small green bin

for kitchen waste, a black bin for most things that don’t end up in the other two bins, and an option to pay for a brown garden waste bin, AND a blue bag for paper, AND a box for paper and bottles, it seems churlish not to make an effort to humour the poor things at The Town Hall. They were clearly trying to tell us something. Their green hearts are in the right place, even if my rubbish isn’t always in the right bin. They say that most of us have at least a small bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in our personalities, and perhaps the thought of organising the rubbish can tap into that need. Once I started to get the hang of this recycling lark, I became hooked. Having spent most of my adult life not worrying about whether a kitchen roll holder ended up going land fill or being shot into outerspace, I have now become quite disciplined about what goes where. I regularly wave used plastic containers at my long-suffering husband, hissing vehemently that ‘THEY’ demand that such items are washed before they are deposited in the black bin. I have now lost count of the number of times that I have waved a banana skin over said husband and muttered menacingly “Banana

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skins go in the small green bin, NOT the general rubbish one!”. I think he now lives in fear of eating that particular fruit, which will be a bad thing regarding his vitamin intake, but great for his diet. After all, bananas have a lot of calories in them! Many eminent psychiatrists think that people who have extremist views about religion or politics can be suffering from OCD, which is a condition that demands the mindless following of rules or routines from its victims. Perhaps I am heading that way about recycling I will start off fretting about banana skins, and finish up wanting to rule the world! (Come to think of it, I’ve always liked telling other people how they should live their lives, so perhaps the phrase “Many a true word is spoken in jest” comes to mind!). Someone recently commented to me that “We never USED to have this need to recycle”, which is true, but we have to take into account the fact that with the world’s population rocketing, consumerism, with its over-wrapped products, has gone wild. Many products that we buy often sport layers of totally unnecessary wrapping. I can never understand why fruit such as apples are sometimes wrapped firmly inside the clutches of a piece of cardboard and plastic. Equally, what is the point of making cucumbers overheat inside clingfilm? Like apples, they have an inbuilt wrapping. It’s called a skin….. Whether we are buying a doll, a blender, or boxes of tissues, we are greeted with packaging that challenges our fingernails, and is totalling infuriating for

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arthritic hands to deal with. One can see the sense in making certain items childproof, or using protection for fragile items, but it seems that some manufacturers are determined to make their products totally inaccessible to anyone who doesn’t have scissors or a hacksaw about their person. Some ’green’ people around the world have starting making a stand against over-packing, and groups of them sometimes actually remove it while they are still in the supermarket, much to the wrath of the owners. Perhaps it is only by taking such action that we can make manufacturers think twice before they continue to make their products more difficult to get into than Fort Knox - creating mountains of rubbish in the process! We are, at last, it seems, getting the message about recycling. Most of us now invest in reusable shopping bags, and think twice before throwing things away. I have now acquired a world class collection of plastic carrier bags, knowing that at some point they will come in useful for something. The thin plain white ones are used for general rubbish, ones from department stores are used to store clothes in, and the snob in me will never let go of the ones that have the names Selfridges or Harrods printed on them! Cardboard boxes of all sizes litter my garage, as I hope that they will “come in useful” at some point. I constantly wash out plastic containers “just in case I need them”, and am beginning to realise that unless I curb my new-found addiction to recycling, I will soon become a candidate for the “Hoarders” programme on television. Media personalities such as Kirstie Allsop have made us aware than used items can be rejuvenated instead of becoming part of a rubbish mountain, and I am definitely now a member of her gang. I might not personally save the planet, but hopefully my newly found make do and mend approach to life will make a small, but useful ecological impact in this neck of the woods. Hopefully, with more education regarding green issues, the term ‘throwaway society’ will be frowned upon, and the world at large won’t be proud to be part of the “litter-ati”. Forgive me if I have to dash away now, dear Worcester Park reader. My husband looks as if he is just about to eat a banana…………. Ruth Jemmett is a Member of The Society of Authors Copyright 19th August 2013

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At the end of September the doors of the Malden Centre’s kinetika gym reopened, following a week of intensive upgrade and modernisation, bringing some of the UK’s most state-of-the-art equipment to one of the busiest gyms in the area. Thanks to a significant investment of around £134,000, many of the gym’s most popular pieces of exercise equipment – such as rowing machines and cross trainers – have been replaced with new, improved versions offering a range of updated features and functions. A brand new Studio dedicated to Studio Cycling has been created for the popular (if not tough!) classes. With over 1900 members – ranging from 11 to 93 years of age! – the Malden Centre gym has been a central part of the town recreational facilities for almost 26 years. The team, currently lead by fitness manager, Matt Schaaf, pride itself on the friendly, family atmosphere and believe that the ‘new look’ will help to increase its appeal even further. Matt says; “Whatever your age, whatever your ability, there is little doubt exercise and staying fit it great for your overall well-being –both physical and emotional. But, that ‘feel good’ factor can be even better if you’re working out in great surroundings, with access to some of the industry’s finest equipment. He adds; “My team is fully committed to ‘helping our valued members achieve their goals and we really hope that the effort and planning that has gone into this current upgrade will demonstrate to our clients that we are with them every step of the way on their fitness ‘journey’”. The health and fitness market is becoming increasingly competitive so it is vital that local gyms can maintain the highest standards possible. With over 10 qualified members of the fitness team, another unique ‘offering’ of the Malden Centre’s kinetika gym is that free, expert help and advice is always at hand. For information about memberships at the Malden Centre, visit or call 020 83367788,

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£16.99 a month Gym Membership Benefits of the £16.99 a month membership includes: • Unlimited use of the gym • Induction to the gym • 100% money back guarantee • Short term commitment

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Dog Show

Sunday 13th October For those of you who were left disappointed when The Malden Fornight Show was cancelled becasue of the extreme heat, we have some great news. Local resident Malcolm Miles wrote in to tell us about this Fun Dog Show and invite all of our doggy friends to come along. There’s a raffle & stalls, refreshments, wet weather shelter and free parking - and it’s raising funds for a great cause. 1.30pm, Judging 2pm – Fun Dog Show Riding for the Disabled Association, St Ebba’s Farm, Hook Road, Epsom KT19 8QW Organised by Epsom Canine Rescue and raising funds for Riding for the Disabled.Classes 1. Best Puppy (4-18 months) 2. Handsomest Dog 3. Prettiest Bitch


4. Best Veteran Dog/Bitch (over 7 years) 5. Best Pair (odd or matched) 6. Best Crossbreed 7. Waggiest Tail 8. Dog the judge would most like to take home Entry fee £1 per dog per class, Rosettes to 6th place Plus Dog obstacle course £1, Agility Course, Dog Scurry 50p

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Health and fitness Relax, de-stress and get fitter. I started yoga when I was told that I needed to do some exercise after suffering a period of stress. I joined a gym, but never really got on with weights or exercise machines. Then I found they had a yoga class. I took one and have never looked back. For me yoga provided not just an accessible way to start exercising, but something more. It offered me ways to relax not only in the class, but also in everyday life. Simple techniques that I could readily apply when I was stressed or simply wanted to focus and really be able to concentrate on one thing. There are many aspects to yoga. A physical part,

which is generally what people are familiar with, seeing people standing or sitting in sometimes funny looking positions. There is an expectation that you have to be bendy or flexible to do yoga. This is not the case. Yoga can be accessible for anyone and can even be taken sitting in a chair and develops flexibility and strength. Yoga classes generally have two other parts, a breathing practice and a relaxation. It might seem odd consciously “doing” breathing, but this can be one of the most effective tools for relaxing and de-stressing. The relaxation part can take many forms and normally finishes the class allowing time for all of the good work done to sink in. After a few years of attending classes I wanted to go deeper and undertook the two year teacher training and now teach my own classes including a Thursday evening class at the Elmcroft Community Centre in North Cheam. The class in North Cheam has been running since January 2012 and is open to all, even if you have never practiced yoga before. If you would like more information about the classes please contact me on 07531 788163 or

need to find a way to relax? looking for a way to start exercising? why not try yoga? thursday 8pm to 9:30pm £10 drop in £45 for 5 classes*, £80 for 10 classes* *conditions apply elmcroft community centre london road, north cheam surrey, SM3 9AB (next to Sainsbury’s) 07531 788163




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Seasonal recipe Chilli Chicken Stew Ready in 1 hour 45 minutes Serves 6-8

With Halloween at the end of the month, why not plan a ghostly gathering and serve up this hot and spicy chicken stew? Perfect for filling up hungry trick or treaters. Ingredients: • 1-2 tbsp sunflower oil • 1 large onion, peeled and cut into chunks • 2 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed • 1 small red chilli pepper, deseeded and finely chopped (optional) • 6 large skinless chicken fillets, cut into pieces • 2 x 400g can chopped tomatoes • 2 tbsp sun-dried tomato puree • 2 tsp dried oregano • 1 x 400g can kidney beans in chilli sauce • 1 red, 1 green and 1 yellow pepper, deseeded and diced • Salt and freshly ground black pepper •Warm crusty bread, to serve


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Heat 1 tbsp of the oil in a large, deep flameproof casserole and fry the onion and garlic for 5 minutes until softened and golden. Add the chilli pepper (if using) and chicken pieces and cook over a medium heat, stirring all the time, until the chicken pieces are lightly browned all over, adding a little extra oil if needed. Stir in the tomatoes, tomato puree, oregano and 200ml water and bring to the boil. Season well with salt and freshly ground black pepper then reduce the heat, partially cover and simmer for 40 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the kidney beans and diced peppers to the casserole and simmer, uncovered, for a further 20-25 mins until the peppers are tender and some of the liquid has reduced. Serve in mugs or bowls with chunks of warm crusty bread. For a hot non-alcoholic punch to serve with the stew, pour a large carton of apple juice into a saucepan. Core and slice 2 small apples and add to the pan with one thinly sliced lemon and a couple of cinnamon sticks. Heat gently for about 10 minutes, then pour in 1 litre of ginger ale. Heat through for a further minute then serve in heatproof glasses or tumblers.

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Windows • Doors • Conservatories Orangeries • Garage Doors • Roofline

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View from the City

Look Out The Investment Bankers Are Back! by Justin Urquhart Stewart

Good news - companies have been sitting on a lot of cash: bad news - they haven’t been spending it. Good news, there appears to be some movement in the number of mergers and acquisitions and possible stock market floats: bad news, watch the prices you are going to be asked to pay. But at least it is a change and the ‘log jam’ seems to be breaking. However, as the corporate atmosphere seems to be changing, we are seeing a flurry of deals now being promulgated and pushed through, with certain investment banking teams having to recruit again (including some of the old team they had previously got rid of!) as the proposed deals start piling up. Is this then a sign of confidence? Well the answer must be partly yes, but possibly it is also a reaction to the thought that the era of cheap QE money will be coming to an end and that rising rates mean that deals must be locked in now to avoid extra costs. Already we have seen government debt yields rise and although central bankers will be loathe to take any precipitate action on interest rates which could scare the markets (as in 1936), the cost of money is starting to rise and an interest rate rise will be inevitable at some stage. So from Verizon and Vodafone, to Nokia and Microsoft, and Publicis and Omnicom, the list of deals is growing longer. A key measure will be the amount of activity generated by the private equity operators as they use this market to sell on their older investments and take advantage of the cheaper money to invest in others. They quite often have to rely on the ability to move deals through the cycle (normally three years) to make their profit, but for the past five have suffered from trading blockage. Whatever your view on the private equity providers, whether they are the dark knights or whiter ones, and there are both, the economy can benefit from better quality PE investment and it will suffer if it doesn’t


function properly. To this we can also add the flurry of floats that are likely to be coming our way. With Lloyds floating off its TSB brand next year, to the Government trying to sell off the family silver teaspoons, we should be prepared for a rise in the number of offerings coming our way. Now don’t get me wrong, this is a good sign of confidence, but equally investors should be suitably sceptical of those charmingly attractive investment offerings being purveyed. Unlike many of the privatisations and demutualisations, which were ‘priced to go’ to make sure they were a success, many IPOs are priced to maximise the return for the sellers and their various ‘agents’. So as investors, we need to look through the hype to the underlying proposition to make sure it stands up. Another key issue for me is where your investment money is going? Is it to help build a greater and more profitable business? In which case fine. Or are you in fact just paying out the last owners to go and buy their yacht? In which case no!

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The Merkel effect

All eyes this week on the German elections to see what style of coalition we will get - soft pink or soft blue. Their constitution has been so designed to prevent one party gaining absolute control (some historical issues here), and so far the betting would appear to favour a centre left Merkel government. Either way, what we want to see is a clear mandate (if that is possible in a coalition) to address not just the Eurozone issues but also the growing frustration within the broader EU membership about the structure and role of the Union in the future. The popular feeling seems to be moving towards a Confederation of States forming the world’s largest trading block, where common issues can be addressed rather than the previously Franco-German view of an increasingly United States of Europe. This is going to be especially important as there are no really major elections on the continent before 2016, and thus Mrs Merkel’s victory could set the direction for the next few years for the EU. Justin Justin Urquhart Stewart is one of the most recognisable and trusted market commentators on television, radio and in the press. Originally trained as a lawyer he has observed the retail market industry for 20 years whilst at Barclays Stockbrokers and developed a unique understanding of the market’s roles and benefits for the private investor

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1. In Stephen King’s novel It, Pennywise was the name of a monster who disguised himself as what? 2. If your birthday was on Halloween, what would your star sign be? 3. On Sesame Street, what colour is the Cookie Monster’s fur? 4. How does the Wicked Witch of the East die at the start of the 1939 film The Wizard Of Oz? 5. What is the only American state that does not contain any letters from the word “Halloween” in its name? 6. Found on the island of Madagascar, what animal is named after a type of ghost or spirit from Roman mythology due to its reflective eyes, nocturnal habits and a ghostly sound that some species make? 7. What word from the NATO phonetic alphabet is also the first name of Doctor Frankenstein in Mary Shelley’s famous novel? 8. In which 1999 film does Cole Sear say “I see dead people”? 9. True or False... Vampire bats feed on blood? 10. Which 1990s film features the character of Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town?

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1. A clown 2. Scorpio 3. Blue 4. Dorothy’s house falls on her 5. Mississippi 6. The lemur 7. Victor 8. The Sixth Sense 9. True 10. The Nightmare Before Christmas




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Gardening Choosing trees for your garden

This article will focus on tips and advice in selecting small trees for your garden, The factors R.J. to consider in choosing a R.J. Tree qualified & profession Tree Services qualified & professional staffServices are dedicated suitable treetocan be divided into 2 broad to the highest levels of service in every the highest levels of service in every instance. the soil is acid or alkaline also determines tree species categories, firstly the environmental youall canyour grow;are aarboricultural pHhappy test kit can beadvice purchased to all you We to easily give – on We are happythe to tree give advice – on queries. conditions and secondly assess your soil. For acid soils adding lime can reduce characteristics. the acidity but will need renewal over the years to • Free quotes ensure the artificial change is maintained. I suggest that • Free quotes Environmental Conditions re dedicated in most cases it is best to work with•the natural acidityqualified Fully NPTC • Fully Different trees favour particular environments to NPTCofqualified your garden in choosing a tree. enable optimal growth and a healthy full• canopy • Tree reductions / cr Secondly/ you need to look at the shade conditions in Treeforreductions crown thins to enjoy. selecting a tree; many species thrive in direct sunlight ulturalyou queries. • Tree felling • the Tree Firstly the soil condition needs to assessed, idealfellingwhere this position encourages growth and in some soil for most trees needs to be a well balanced mix of removal Stump removal • Stump cases enhances variegated foliage•colours through the clay and sand that drains well but can retain moisture. year. Where trees are grown in shady locations quite • Hedgeworks Hedgeworks The soil texture can be changed with the• of often the foliage& hasprofessional less variation andstaff interest for dedicated you. R.J.use Tree Services qualified are organic matter such as composted manure with coarse Tree surveys • Tree surveys &would reports If you like to plant a tree to • create a shady area & repo to the Whether highest levels of service in every instance. sand or clay to alter drainage characteristics. ns We are happy to give advice – on all your arboricultural querie


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then the tree may need space to develop a breadth rather than height. Armed with your knowledge of soil and light conditions you can now proceed to the garden centre to consider the tree characteristics.

Tree Characteristics

Trees come in all shapes and sizes as well as deciduous and evergreen forms, so quite often the choices can feel a little daunting. Take your time in selecting your tree, here are some guiding questions to have in mind as you deliberate:1. Do you want the tree as a screen or a specimen feature? Evergreens produce an all year round screen but a mixed tree screen provides interest through the seasons, specimen trees can be a real feature in your garden drawing eyes to particular locations. 2. What shape of tree would you like? The broad range of tree shapes extend from columnar to rounded, conical and weeping forms. It is always a good idea to look at a prospective tree and think ahead to the size it will achieve at maturity. For example, a columnar tree often suits small garden spaces as a focus point whereas weeping trees often have a wider very ornamental attractive form. 3. Does the tree integrate into the rest of the garden? Some trees integrate better with particular garden

layouts which can vary from for example a Japanese style to heathers/low level borders or shrubs and fruit tree styles; even a garden laid to mainly lawn should favour particular trees. 4. Do you have specific tree features you favour? These factors include preferences for foliage colours in autumn, spring blossom colours, yielding fruits in late summer or interesting bark colours and textures. These tips should help you in deciding how to select the ideal tree for your garden, we always advise customers to take plenty of time in this decision making process, planting a tree is a long term commitment.

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The Better Life No Ifs or Butts by Derek Thompson

There are two things you can say with confidence, where we live. Firstly, that it rains - a lot. Secondly, if you don’t like the weather, just give it half an hour and then there might be something along that’s more to your taste.

hub’s second tap, for the indoor plants in the conservatory; great news for us, the sweet peppers and the chillies, as we’re on a water meter. The cat was curious about all the garden hoses, but soon went back to stalking the frog that Anne discovered in the damp ground behind the monbretia. Being able to harvest this much rain also means we can wash the car for free, should I ever get round to it. It’s on my list, along with growing kale beside the perpetual chard and trying a small lemon tree in the conservatory. Our handyman neighbour has already been back to see the hub in action, and to see the storage capacity of the system. He dropped hints about us renaming John in his honour. However, as he’s not named George (as in Martin), Pete (as in Best), or Stuart (as in Sutcliffe), that’s pretty unlikely. Mind you, there’s always the possibility of adding another Buttle to the band! Derek Thompson is a writer and humourist based in the West Country. His writing blog can be found at www. and he is also a regular at www.strictlywriting.

If, like us, you’re keen on becoming more green, having a water butt is a must. Otherwise, you’re literally tipping a valuable resource down the drain. Our problem has always been the layout of the garden. Well, that and my feebleness at lugging watering cans around. But Anne, who uses the Internet for research rather than Twitter, found a solution. “This water butt,” she declared, pointing at the screen, “will fill other water butts for us - and wherever we want to place them.” I must have made a ‘wow’ face because Anne immediately nodded sagely in my direction. SKC Electrical are electricians based in Sutton, Our Rainwater Hub arrived a few days later in the post. Surrey that provide a comprehensive range of (Anne had, of course, ordered it before showing me, to save time.) After I’d prowled around it a couple of times, electrical services including: we agreed to let our neighbour put it up, so that it was done properly. To be fair, the instructions were easy-peasy, • Complete and part re-wires only I’m known to be drilly-silly. • Fuse board upgrades and repairs The neighbour popped over in the week, looked over the • Inspection and testing paperwork and scratched his head. “Are you sure it goes up on the wall?” “Of course,” I replied with my rehearsed • Landlords certificates answer, “it’s a gravity fed system.” Now it was his turn to • Lighting and power points make a ‘wow’ face and he didn’t disappoint. • Shower and cooker circuits I left him to it and went off to make some kindling • Garden lighting because every man likes to feel useful. Half an hour later, the Rainwater Hub was installed and connected by a hose to water butt number two. The SKC Electrical works in accordance with approved next day it absolutely poured down and, after a little Document Part P of the Building Regulations. trial and error (the error being that I hadn’t read the butt connection instructions properly - too busy sniggering), Call On: 020 8641 9396 • Mob: 07971 172 450 I checked the online video and soon everything was in place. The hub and our three water butts were duly named John, Paul, George and Ringo. Collectively: The Buttles. The Email today on: whole system is, in effect, one giant water butt, only it’s spaced out around the garden. Now for the first time, we can also use rainwater, from the To advertise email or call 020 8336 2915

SKC Electrical


Clubs Mondays

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Do you enjoy listening to show tunes, big band music, jazz, light classics etc? Come along to an evening of live music played by top artistes. We meet on the second Monday of each month at our Banstead venue Banstead Organ & Keyboard Club Church Institute Hall, High Street, Banstead SM7 2NN 14th October – Andrew Nix Doors open 7pm for 7:30pm start. (Visitors £7) Visitors & new members are always welcome to our concerts. Further details from 020 8330 5795, or visit www. Worcester Parkers Women’s Institute meet on the 3rd Monday of every month 7.45pm to 9.45pm at Christchurch with St Philip Church Hall in Ruskin Drive, Worcester Park. For more information contact Dawn Penn 0208 337 4361 Email Cheam Common Art Group Small friendly Art Group who meet at CHRIST CHURCH with ST PHILIP Ruskin Road, Worcester Park on Monday evenings 7.30 – 9.30 p.m. Welcome new members just to draw and paint in any medium without tuition. If interested come down for an evening and meet us to see whether this is for you Phone Contact: Brenda Banks 020 8330 0928 Worcester Park Over 60’s Welcome Club meet every Monday from 1pm to 3pm at Christ Church with St Philip Church Hall in Ruskin Drive. Worcester Park. All over 60’s welcome to join us for a cup of tea and a biscuit or two, plus some outstanding entertainment in the way of singers and musicians. One Monday a month we have Bingo and every Monday we run a raffle. Days outings to the coast are organised throughout the summer months, and mid week holidays are organised two or three times a year. Come a little earlier and meet up with some friends and have a chat before the entertainment starts. We would love to see you. Contact Joyce on 020 8330 5065. The ladies After Eight Club meet on the 2nd Monday of every month from 8pm onwards at Christchurch with St Philips church hall. We have interesting speakers, outings and dinners and all are welcome for a small subscription to cover our costs. Just come along and join in. Please contact Carol on 020 8337 2452


for further information


The Worcester Park Dramatic Society is a local amateur drama group of long standing. We stage two major productions a year at the Adrian Mann Theatre in Ewell, in April and November. We meet every Tuesday and most Fridays at 8.15 pm in the Elmcroft Community Centre in North Cheam, on the Sainsbury’s site. Apart from play readings, rehearsals and set construction, we have quiz nights and various social events. We also arrange group outings to amateur and professional theatre productions. We welcome new members to help us stage future productions, anyone willing to act or work backstage. If interested, please contact our membership secretary, Joyce Cranfield, on 020 8337 3317. “Lunch Break” - a friendly lunch club for those retired, meeting weekly on a Tuesday 12-2pm (term time only) at Worcester Park Baptist Church, The Avenue - free, but donations invited. Occasional speakers. Contact Brian on 020 8224 6675 or Rowena 07837 941298 NHS Retirement Fellowship- Local Branch Are you retired or about to retire from the NHS? Why not join us on the 1st Tuesday of every month from 10am -12 at Christ Church Hall, Christ Church Road, Surbiton, KT5 8JJ. We have speakers, activities, coffee & chat.Other outings & activities are also arranged during the month. For further details please contact Lorna on 020 8337 4121. Worcester Park Crafters We meet on the first Tuesday of each month in the hall at Christchurch with St Philip, Ruskin Drive, Worcester park,KT4 8LG. We meet from 7.30pm to 9.30pm. For further details please contact Lynne by E mail: lynnesinger@ or phone on:020 8330 5903 Our aim is to provide a meeting/crafting place for all crafters whatever their craft or ability. Either bring your own work or purchase our kit of the month (small materials cost usually £2), come and play and chat. (small cost to over hall hire and insurance approx £4) Craft group - We meet at Christ Church with St Philip Ruskin Drive on the first TUESDAY of the month from 7.30-

9.30pm A place where all crafters whatever their craft or ability can meet, craft, share ideas and learn from each other. Feel free to bring your own projects or you can try our project of the month Cost: £5 per session Lynne Singer 020 8330 3590 or Toni Shepherd 07900 006367


Keep Fit Stay Fit every Wednesday 10.1511.15am at Christ Church with St Philip, Ruskin Road. Come along and give it a try ! For more information please call Jo Hamilton on 020 8786 3444. The Probus Club of Ewell Coming up to retirement? Just retired? Looking to make new friends? Why not join the Probus Club of Ewell? Since it was founded 41 years ago, the Probus Club of Ewell has been attracting businessmen from Worcester Park and its surrounding areas with a broad range of professional and business backgrounds. We meet on the first Wednesday of each month, usually at Bourne Hall in Ewell Village, for a Lunch followed by a Speaker. In addition to two Ladies Lunches during the year, there is an active social programme for members and their partners with visits to places of interest and West End Shows. If you would like to know more, please telephone our secretary, Ken Amess, on 020 8337 6241 or visit our website:


East Surrey Family History Society For those who are interested in finding out how to investigate their family history the Sutton Branch of the East Surrey Family History Society holds meetings on the first Thursday of the month at St Nicholas Church Hall, Robin Hood Lane. Most months we have a professional speaker. Further details of all our branch meetings, can be found at Our award winning website 60+ Social Mixed Single Group We meet in a local pub every Thursday where we discuss outings for the weekends such as meal out, walking, theatre trips, cinemas and many other things. If you would like to join us please ring Maureen: 07761278661. Kingston Phoenix Road Club is a cycling club that meets at 8-30pm every Thursday at Worcester Park Athlete Club, Green Lane, Worcester Park. The club was founded in 1936 and currently has a membership of 70. We cater for riders of all ages whether

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they are novices or experienced and our oldest rider is 84 years old who is still racing and holds several national age related records. Malden Emergency First Aid Society (MEFAS) members meet every Thursday evening from 7.30 to 10pm. The public is invited to join members on short training courses. For further details please see MEFAS web site at mefas/ or telephone 020 8942 8653 or 07966661015 Breathe Easy (Merton & Sutton) Group. Wheezy? Breathless? you are not alone, come and join us at your local friendly support & information group for anyone affected by a lung condition.We meet between 2 - 4 pm on the 3rd. Thursday of every month at St Bedes Conference Centre, St Anthony’s Hospital, London Road, North Cheam. For more information please contact George on 0208 647 7530


Bartlett House Luncheon Club is a welcoming social club for the retired from work but not from life! Bartlett house, 49-51 The Avenue, Worcester Park,KT4 7HU Catch up with friends every Friday 11am-4pm Sit back and get that “Friday feeeling”with weekly entertainment! This fun and friendly club is not for profit ensuring prices are kept to a minimum so it won’t cost the earth! New members welcome. No joining fee. Transport may be available. All you have to do is pop along and give us a try, we can guarantee that you will receive a warm welcome! Contact us on 01372 720563 or 07807443156 Quest was set up in 1987 to provide a meeting place for people with physical disabilities between the ages of 20 - 60. However, once a member there is no age cut off. The aim of the club is to provide a welcoming, caring atmosphere for the members

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Free local collection and delivery can be arranged

and allow the carers to have a regular break. Everyone pays an annual subscription. and we all pay £2.50 for our lunch, which is cooked on the premises. We have various social activities and every second month we have a speaker, outings can be arranged if enough people wish to go. The venue is St. Philip Hall, Christchurch with St. Philip, Ruskin Drive, Worcester Park. We meet the 2nd and 4th Fridays in the month from 12.45 to 4p.m Contact June Day, Club Secretary, on 02083301220 RSPB Epsom And Ewell Local Group We meet the 2nd Friday of every month at 7.30, apart from July and August, at All Saints Church Hall Fulford Road, West Ewell with guest speakers who illustrate their enthusiasm on a variety of natural history subjects. Our speakers are of a high quality and we welcome anyone who has an interest in this area. We also have several birding outings throughout the year which is arranged to suit all ages. There is a small charge for non-members of the RSPB. If you would like more information, please look at our website, groups/epsom


Auriol Bowling Club was established in 1967, and plays on the 6-rink bowling green attached to the pavilion in Auriol Park, Salisbury Road, Worcester Park. It is a mixed club of around 45 men and 25 women, who play outdoors from April to September, with a busy fixture list of league and friendly matches against other clubs, as well as internal club competitions. For further information please contact the club Secretary, David Regan, on 020 8337 8919 or visit the website at Cuddington Bowling Club will always welcome new members. The club is situated in Sandringham Road, Worcester Park and we play on an excellent 6 rink green that has been acclaimed by many of the club’s visitors this year. We are a mixed club with about 60 members and play a range of friendly and league fixtures catering for all abilities. Our internal competitions are fun but keenly contested and provide competitive bowling through the season. For further information, please contact our Secretary Mike Ridley 02087158326 or our Treasurer Mark Broughton 02083379699. Social Dancing With “ Glitters” At Bourne Hall, Spring Street, Ewell Village 8.15 pm – 11.00 pm Entrance £8 Over 18’s All standards Bar & Free parking & Professional D J We may not have Brucie but we do have a glitter ball! Dance Dates for 2013: 16th/September 6th and 20th/October 4th and 18th/November 1st and 15th/December 13th CALL 07903 314276 National Trust - Epsom, Ewell and District Supporters GroupFormed in 1971, we run a varied programme of social eventswhich includes Evening Lectures at Bourne Hall in Ewell, once a month from Oct. to June, Coach Outings which visit historichouses and gardens(not necessarily N.T.),Guided London Walks, and other trips to London e.g.The Magic Circle, The Royal Opera House (backstage tour).Other special events include Coffee Mornings, Holidays and Christmas Lunch. Newsletters are produced four times a year.If you would like more information please visit our website: or telephone Paul on 020 87158486 Malden Manor Bowls Club Where: Manor Park, Malden Road. New members will be made very welcome. Roll ups, league matches, internal and external competition; we offer bowling for all levels of interest and ability. Contact Men’s Secretary John: 020 8337 0084 or Ladies Secretary Pat: 020 8544 9704

To advertise email or call 020 8336 2915


Climbing Plants by Pippa Greenwood

Climbing plants, especially those with flamboyant flowers or fantastic foliage can transform a garden and offer a whole new planting opportunity, as your garden literally goes upwards and takes a vertical climb. Supporting Cast

Extra Care

Climbers planted against a wall will need extra TLC if they’re to look their best. Make watering them toppriority, especially for the first 18 months whilst they’re becoming established. Apply a good, bulky organic mulch to a depth of about 8cm (3in) or so all around the rooting area, but take care to avoid the mulch coming in to direct contact with the stems.

A few climbers are self-clingers and don’t need a special support system when grown against a fence or wall; Virginia creeper and Hydrangea petiolaris for instance. But most need to have a proper support, and it pays to put this in place before you plant. For lighter weight Ten Top Climbers climbers some trellis, perhaps Climbing roses prettily painted will do the trick, but for heavier climbers such as a Honeysuckle vigorous clematis, or wisteria, you Clematis will need galvanised straining Hydrangea petiolaris wires.

Easy Access

If you use trellis as a support on a wall, it can be attached to wooden battens which are fixed to the wall using rawl plugs. Use a series of hinges to attach one edge of the trellis to the batten, and a few hooks to allow you to raise or lower the trellis for when you need to maintain the wall.

Vitis coignetiae Solanum crispum Tropaeolum speciosum Akebia quinata Actinidia kolomikta Parthenocissus henryana

Planting Distance

Climbers won’t thrive if they don’t receive enough water at the base. The ‘rain shadow’ created by the house roof and the drying effect of the wall’s foundations can make the soil close-by extremely dry so plant a minimum of 45cm (18in) away from the base of the wall and fork in plenty of well-rotted bulky organic matter before planting too.

Train it well

If the climber is quite small, it may need to be trained in the right direction. A short bamboo cane or several for a multi-stemmed plant, can be angled from the base of the plant to the vertical surface, allowing you to tie in the stems and edge them towards the support. Once the climber has reached the wall, the enlarging network of stems may become congested if left to its own devices, so actively train the stems to grow in the direction you need them to.


Arches, Arbours and Pergolas

Climbers don’t just look good on house, garden and garage walls and fences, they can also be used to great effect over arches and pergolas or to clothe an arbour. You may need to install some supporting wires here too, so go for galvanised wires and sturdy vine-eyes as fixings. Choosing a scented climber or two will add to the charm of a cosy arbour or archway.

Clever Combinations

If the surface that you want to plant up is big enough, try to use climbers that flower in different seasons as, chosen carefully, the plants you use will increase the period for which the arch, pergola, arbour, wall or fence, looks its best.

Bare Ankles

Many climbers do have a habit of becoming a bit bare at the base, especially after they’ve been in place for a few years. Try some seasonal bedding plants around the base, or plant a small and attractive shrub a little further away to hide the bare stems. Visit Pippa’s website where you can sign up for her free newsletter, and buy a great range of gardening products including Nemaslug, caterpillar, ant, vineweevil and other Nemasys controls, snail and slug barriers, Enviromesh and Envirofleece.

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Re gi ste r e d wit h t he

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CODEWORD Codeword Each letter in this puzzle is

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by represented by a number a different number between 1 and between 1 and 26. The26. The codes for three letters are shown. Once codes for three letters are you have filledshown. these throughout the grid As you find the enter themand in the box you can start letters guessing words reveal other letters. below. As you find the letters enter them in the box below.







































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4 23


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19 24




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Events Coombe Boys’ PFA Comedy Night

The Coombe Boys’ School PFA is raising funds for a much needed minibus and is holding another Comedy Night to kick off fundraising for this academic year. “We made a good start to the minibus campaign last year. It’s an ambitious target, but with the parents’ and community’s support, we believe it can be achieved,” say the PFA. Every ticket sold for Comedy Night will help towards their goal and all parents and the wider community are welcome to come and support the event. Comedy Night is on Friday, 18 October, 6.30pm - 9.30pm, at Coombe Boys’ School. Last year’s outstanding line-up of comedy acts thoroughly entertained over 110 parents, pupils and staff, expertly pitched their comedy to an audience whose ages ranged from 11 to 79. This year’s line up promises to be just as funny.

It promises to be a fun night out, for all the family*. As well as comedy, there’ll be music performances, a bar and refreshments, and the chance to win a fantastic prize in the raffle. Tickets are on sale now, adult £10 in advance and pupils (age 11* and over) £5. See http://www. for more information. Support Comedy Night and help the Coombe Boys’ School PFA to get nearer the Minibus goal! * The evening has been planned to be suitable for age 11 or over, but please see the note about suitability on the Booking Form.



& y kl ly ee ai W D


on yer bike...

Charlie Baker at last April’s Comedy Night





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The independent caring practice Cycle-Power a local, family-run shop for all your biking needs. • Bikes for all the family • The Ride2Work scheme • Children’s bicycle seats • Clothing & Accessories • Qualified mechanics • Services & Repairs 77 Central Road, Worcester Park, Surrey KT4 8EB t: 0208 330 3421 WWW.CYCLE-POWER.COM


Opening times: Mon-Sat 9-5:30 Wed 9-3:30 Thur 9-7:30 *See in store for details. © 2013 All rights reserved.

Private/NHS patients welcome Affordable quality eye-care ● Contact lens centre ● Dedicated professional clinical excellence Mr A M Savvides BSc (Hons) M B C O 56 Central Road, Worcester Park, KT4 8HY 020 8330 5364 ● ●

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Television in bed, lots of storage. Television in bed, lots of s quality Super quality leather and fabric beds from KaydianSuper on show inleather store and fabric be

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Best Price Beds, 22 Redenhall Road, Harlest Television in bed, lots of storage Tel:leather 01379 855beds 456 01379 855 461 Super quality and fabric fromor Kaydian Tel: 01379 855456 or 0137 on show in store BIG RANGE OF QUALITY BEDS, BED FRAMES AND MATTRESSES Best Price Beds, 22 Redenhall Road, Harleston, Norfolk IP20 9ER

Tel: 01379 855456 or 01379 855461

Television in bed, lots of storage Super quality leather and fabric beds from Kaydian on show in store R WOODFALL OPTICIANS 159 Central Road, Worcester Park Surrey KT4 8DT

Telephone: 020 8337 2059


THE FIRST LENS TO OFFER Best Price 22 Redenhall Road, Harleston, Norfolk IP20 9ER 9:00am Beds, to 5:30pm PROTECTION AGAINST UV Saturday 9:00am to 2:00pm Tel: 01379 855456ONorBOTH 01379 855461 FRONT AND BACK SURFACES OF THE LENS To advertise email or call 020 8336 2915


Voice for Wildlife by Carol Williams This month it is badgers, because at the time of writing this piece, a cull of them is going on in Somerset and Gloucestershire.

This is upsetting to wildlife lovers all over the country. Chris Packham, well known as one of the presenters of BBC Springwatch and other Nature documentaries, has condemned it in the strongest possible terms. I am, along with all these caring enthusiasts, deeply distressed and outraged, by what can only be called a senseless slaughter of beautiful wild creatures by our own government. The only positive thing to be said about it is that shooting is better than gassing, which was the practice of MAFF ( now Defra) during the 1970s and 1980s. Even then, badgers were supposed to be a ‘protected’ species. What wildlife is safe from those who want to persecute it? Bovine TB is behind the badger cull, a disease of dairy herds, claimed by the NFU to be spread by badgers wandering through pastures. S cientific experts have repeatedly advised the government that a cull would not be effective, since it would scatter the survivors into different areas, taking the disease into previously unaffected places. But, of course, killing the poor creatures is cheaper than vaccination, Need one say more? Nobody is denying that badgers are vectors - that they carry the disease without themselves contracting it. Note that some dogs, cats and other animals also carry the disease, and only some badgers are carriers, not the entire species. In the days before penicillin, TB (once called Consumption) was a big killer of humans. Antibiotics changed all that, along with greater hygiene in homes and hospitals, and widespread vaccination. Disease of all kinds is spread in overcrowded, dirty conditions and is contracted mainly by those with compromised immune systems - the young, the old and those run down through overwork and lack of rest and good food. In the large ‘factories’ that get described as ‘dairy farms’ in modern livestock agriculture, these conditions are rife. The common practice of lacing feed with antibiotics as a preventative measure for the common condition of mastitis, renders the use of them to treat more serious conditions less effective. Mastitis occurs because of continual lactation, a situation forced upon these animals by demand for milk


and its products. A cow with mastitis produces milk that is unfit for human consumption, and, hence would represent a loss for the farmer, so it is common to put preventative antibiotics in feed. (This may be one of the many reasons that people are now becoming resistant to antibiotics also - ingesting them through milk consumption). Badgers are being scapegoated for poor husbandry and bad practice in an industry which overworks and stresses its animals to squeeze out every last drop of profit from them. The saddest thing of all, for me, is that the whole system is unnecessary. Human adults do not even need milk and there are now a great variety of delicious plant and nut milk alternatives to use instead. It is very hard to avoid the observation that buying dairy products is funding the lobby which has pressurized Defra into ignoring scientific advice and sanctioning a massacre of badgers. I would urge you to join your local Wildlife Trust, sign one of the ongoing petitions and write to DEFRA expressing your concern. And to consider giving up buying dairy products in protest. As I write, people from many parts of the country are travelling to Somerset in the evenings to patrol the cull areas. This hinders things, as the shooters are not allowed to fire within a mile of any human being. These measures may save some badgers. Wildlife is already much compromised by the spread of human settlements that take no account of its needs, and by litter, pollution of many kinds, and road deaths. Adding to them with senseless culling is ecocrime in my opinion. It is probably true that badgers are safer in urban woods, than in the countryside, as in our cities and suburbs there are no livestock farmers keen to blame wildlife for all their misfortunes. I like to write positively, but, this month, I am weighed down with sorrow over this cull. If I were a poet I would compose some verses entitled ‘Requiem For Brock’.

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020 8397 1848

436 HOOK ROAD, CHESSINGTON, SURREY. KT9 1LY (Please use green door seen in picture)

Chess Attack Bishop Blocked Capture Castling Centre Checkmate Endgame File

Fischer Fork Gambit Jump Kibitzing King Knight Lose Opening

Pawn Piece Promotion Queen Rook Stalemate Win

Find the names associated with the game of chess in the grid and the remaining letters will spell out a related phrase To advertise email or call 020 8336 2915


There’s lots going on for pre-schoolers in Worcester Park


(term time only)

Spaces available – max class size 6 DAYTIME PARENT & CHILD Classes after school and Saturday mornings We teach our swimming lessons in the AND BABY CLASSES



Worcester Park Baptist Church 9.30-11.30- a lively toddler group, where carers of any kind are welcome to attend and supervise their youngsters. Our age range is from young babies to 3-4 years. Sarah on 020 8393 7299 or email via the church’s website Christ Church with St Philip Parent and Toddler Group is a very welcoming and relaxed place to meet new friends for yourself and your toddlers. We are open to all Mums, Dads, Grandparents and Carers. We meet in the Church Hall on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 9.30 until 11.15am during term time


Toddling2Church, Christ Church with St Philip 2-3pm Parents, carers and pre-school children are all welcome to join us for songs with percussion instruments, a Bible story simply and sensitively told, a story-related craft activity and, of course, drinks and biscuits.


Christ Church with St Philip Parent and Toddler Group 9.30 until 11.15am - see Monday Worcester Park Baptist Church 9.30-11.30- see Monday. we have vacancies on a Wednesday


Christ Church with St Philip Parent and Toddler Group 9.30 until 11.15am - see Monday


Men behaving Dadly, Grace Church - every 3rd Saturday of the month, 9.30 to 11 am, at Green Lane Primary School. For Dads and their pre-school children (0-4). The kids get to play with the toys, the Dads get a bacon roll and coffee, and Mums might possibly get a lie-in... £3 on the door. For more information & contact details, Old Malden Library (Church Road, Worcester Park) Tuesdays, 10.30-11am, Rhyme time aimed at age 0-3 Tuesdays, 2.30-3pm, Story time aimed at age 3+

● ● ● ●

Ladies Water Aerobics Parent & Baby Classes Pre-School Classes Private Swimming Lessons Summer Crash Courses


(No Joining Fee Everyone Welcome!)

Less than 10 mins away on the A3. K2 or 71 bus route

Phone Cass on 020-8397-7731 Untitled-1 1

24/01/2012 14:03:00









I can also help with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and low self-esteem. I am a counsellor/psychotherapist based in Worcester Park and hold a Human Givens Diploma (with merit). Human Givens therapy was developed about twenty years ago and works with the client to establish which of their emotional needs are not being met in balance. My method using the Human Givens approach to counselling is holistic (treating the whole person). I establish which of the client’s emotional needs are not being met and then help them to get these met in a healthy and effective way.

Please contact me for a confidential appointment and feel better soon! Mobile Telephone No: 07580

169 591



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and I mentioned that I was into magic and puppets. And from there we started talking about self-employment.” Not just a hobby Marcus had previously taken a puppetry evening class at London’s prestigious ‘Central School of Speech & Drama’ and in 2012 won a trophy for his magic act at the South London Magic Society. A cub-scout leader when he was in his 20s, he had a lot of experience entertaining and controlling audiences of

On Yer Wand! Losing your job is quite a setback, but for

one Worcester Park resident it set him right back to his teenage passions - magic and puppets. Until last November local parent Marcus Morgan, of Longfellow Road, worked in a hospital in central London. “The hospital was having a reorganisation, moving people about to save money, and my job was one of the ones that was for the chop. I didn’t want to leave but in the end I had to.” “I spent months applying for similar jobs in other hospitals, but there’s only a few of them and lots of other candidates. I went on to Job Seekers Allowance and was starting to lose hope.” But then a chance comment to the Job Centre Adviser changed his life, bringing with it the help of a government scheme. “We were talking about what other skills I had, and I was trying to list everything, absolutely everything,

  


  

    

 

   

children. His Job Centre Adviser put him in touch with Greater London Enterprise who administer a scheme for the government to encourage the unemployed to start up new businesses. Set up by the Conservatives, the New Enterprise Allowance gives potential entrepreneurs access to advice, training and finance. “The mentor at the GLE said she’d never had a Magician client before, but she was really supportive and gave me a lot of good ideas and support. She suggested I do market research - and I found that there was a gap in the market locally for a skilled party entertainer. I combine magic with puppetry and games, and that ‘whole party’ package wasn’t being offered at a professional level. With her help I wrote a business plan, and secured a loan for the start-up costs.” The New Enterprise Allowance loan is intended to cover the initial costs of setting up as self-employed. “That amount made a huge difference to me, allowing me to buy props, costume and equipment plus start some online advertising.” How’s it going now, six months later? “I’m really enjoying the performing, I’m less enjoying the admin!”, he laughs. “When I’m at a party in a room full of children all watching and laughing along with the show - that’s brilliant. When I’m sitting at home typing up invoices, that’s not as much fun.” Looking back, does Marcus miss his old job? “I would never have quit to become a magician - I thought I had job security and wouldn’t have given that up. But I was wrong, and now I spend my time making people happy, making children laugh. I love it.” Contact Marcus to discuss how he can, as he says, “make your party hassle-free” on 07595607036 or via his website

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Please remember to mention Worcester Park Life when you speak to our advertisers

What’s on

Give blood

Book an appointment by calling 0300 123 23 23 AFC Wimbledon Wednesday 02 Oct, Tuesday 12 Nov 2013 , Tuesday 04 Feb 2014 4.30pm 5.30 to 8pm St James’s Church Hall, Bodley Road, New Malden KT3 5QE Wednesday 14 Aug 2 to 4.30pm 5.30 to 8pm St Philip, Ruskin Drive, Worcester Park Wednesday 23 Oct, Thursday 02 Jan

2 to 4:30pm 5.30 to 8pm

St Marys Church Cuddington.

We are holding a Harvest Fayre on Saturday 5th October 12-3pm

Local Markets

Cheam Village Friday Market Small indoor market with 28 stalls held in Cheam Parochial Rooms, The Broadway, Cheam Village, Surrey. Helping the Royal Marsden Hospital. Market Days: Friday North Cheam Farmers’ Market – 3rd Saturday of every month, 9.30am-1.30pm, North Cheam Crossroads outside the Post Office, KT4 8SG. Worcester Park Local Produce and Craft Market –, Sat 5th October and Sun 1st December, 10am-4pm, Central Road Sutton Local Produce and Craft Market, Sat 30th November, 10am-4pm, Town Square, Sutton High Street New Malden Farmer’s Market 1st Saturday of the month Georges Square (by New Malden Train Station) 9am to 2pm Surbiton Farmers Market Maple Road 3rd Saturday of the month 9am-1pm

Nonsuch News

“National media focus on the Tudors/local interest in Tudor history on our doorstep in Nonsuch Park. BBC2 has a season on Tudor history; the V & A has an exhibition of Tudor Art and Buckingham Palace is showing portraits exploring Tudor fashion. The local resident, however, does not need to travel to London to appreciate some of Tudor history. An amazing model of the original Nonsuch Palace, built by Henry VIII to celebrate the birth of his son Edward – so important to the Tudor dynasty – is on view every Sunday 2 – 5 p.m. in the Gallery of the Mansion, Service Wing entrance, Nonsuch Park. The site is marked on the Northern side of the Park by three tall pillars which now stand as the only physical evidence of this amazing building. They are as three sentries guarding a bygone age. In addition, a unique and important collection of stained glass amassed by Samuel Farmer, owner of the present Mansion in the early 1800’s, features one particular panel commemorating the marriage of Jane Seymour to Henry VIII – only 11 days after the execution of Anne Boleyn! These are just a few of the treasures on view in the Nonsuch Mansion Service Wing Museum open on 2nd & 4th Sundays in the month (9th and

23rd) 2 – 5 p.m. Combined entry to Gallery & Museum £3.00, Concessions £2.00. Friends of Nonsuch Members & Children under 16 free. Entry only to Gallery £2.50. Last entry 4.30 p.m.”

Bourne Hall Museum

Revolting Romans 12 October 1pm to 2.30pm Do you consider flamingos’ tongues or snails fattened on milk as delicacies? Or how about roasted dormouse for your Sunday lunch? If the answer is yes then you would enjoy eating at a banquet in Ancient Rome. If you are not so keen then perhaps a visit to a poorer home to eat a meal of soup, vegetables and coarse bread to grind your teeth, would be more to your taste. A visiting Roman cook will introduce you to everything from fast food to fine dining which you would eat in the travellers’ inns found in Roman Ewell. She will demonstrate her skills in the kitchen and for the adventurous there will be the opportunity to make your own Roman delicacy. Join us to discover the truth from inside Hades kitchen. Price £4 per child Bourne Hall Museum Club This is a great club for children around 7 to 12 who have an interest in history, and we are thriving at Bourne Hall Museum . The club meets the second Saturday of the month at Bourne Hall, Spring Street, Ewell KT17 1UF. Sessions last from 1.00 pm to 2.30 pm and there is a charge of £4 per child per meeting. Further information is available from David Brooks, Bourne Hall Museum, Spring Street, Ewell, Surrey, KT17 1UF. Email: or Tel 020 8394 1734

Epsom Playhouse,

Ashley Avenue, Epsom, Surrey, KT18 5AL (01372) 742555 / 742227

1 October The Lumberjacks Three top Canadian comedians for the price of one! Following a hugely successful run at the Edinburgh Festival,Stewart Francis, Craig Campbell and Glenn Wool hit the road to each perform their own set, side by side, on their debut UK tour of The Lumberjacks. 2 October Epsom & Ewell Literary Society - Keith Holmes presents “Counties of contrast” Keith, a professional photographer and speaker, has given us outstanding and memorable talks on his previous visits, always accompanied by his gorgeous photography. 3 October That’ll Be The Day Prepare yourself for a party as the legendary That’ll Be The Day, the nations longest running rock ‘n’ roll variety show returns by popular demand. This hugely entertaining rock ‘n’ roll spectacular features a fantastic line up of knock-out hits from the 1950’s, 60’s and 70’s, mixed with loads of new zany comedy routines to produce a show with a real feel good party atmosphere. 4 October “Probably The Best Comedy Songs In The World Ever, Maybe” Brought to you by Pat Abernethy and Dave Marsden, better known as Isosceles. This one does exactly what it says on the tin, possibly - a host of comedy songs covering a number of years by a host of great names ... and a few surprises. Songs from the likes of:- Stan Freeberg, the Pythons, Richard Digance, The Goons, Kenneth Williams, Noel Murphy......and many more.

To advertise email or call 020 8336 2915


5 October Can Can Following in the footsteps of the world famous Moulin Rouge, Lido de Paris and Follies Bergere, ‘French Can Can’ is a critically acclaimed stage spectacular that celebrates the elegance of Paris and the high kicking glamour of one of the most famous dance routines...The Can Can! 7 October John Howlett’s Copper Rail Jazz Band Back again after last year’s sizzling session! 8 October Alexander Armstrong & His Band Alexander Armstrong celebrates his love of music and great songs in his fantastic new stage show. The acclaimed comedian, actor and presenter, introduces us to the songs he loves, from jazz standards and rock classics to some lesser known pop delights. Armstrong’s gloriously powerful baritone, along with his exceptionally versatile band, breathe new life into a wonderfully diverse range of songs from Louis Jordan’s Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby, to Spandau Ballet’s True and Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. 9 October Pasadena Roof Orchestra The Pasadena Roof Orchestra is a world class, unique formation which was created over 40 years ago. Appearing all over the world the orchestra performs the songbook of the modern classics. George Gershwin, Cole Porter, Irving Berlin to Hoagy Carmichael. All time standards portraying the towering achievements of the song-writers art. 10 October Colin Fry Join ‘The peoples medium’ and ‘Star of the 6ixth Sense’ Colin Fry for an evening of spiritual communication. 11 October SUPERSONIC 70s SHOW Taking the UK by storm, the Supersonic 70s Show is fast becoming the hottest ticket in town. With an incredible totally live 70’s show packed full of classic hits, the six piece band takes you back to a time when “pop was at it’s peak!” From the towering majesty of ‘Queen’, the ‘pin-up’ pop of T.rex, David Cassidy & Sweet, to the classic sounds of Abba & ELO... unmissable 12 October Shakatak Shakatak is one of the best loved and most successful jazz-funk bands produced in the UK. Having scored a number of chart entries in the UK Singles Charts, including two top ten hits, ‘Night Birds’ and ‘Down On The Street’, they enjoy a career longevity and success unparalleled by other groups. 15 October Disabled Genius This PowerPoint presentation follows the life of “The Little Nightingale” as Sir Joshua Reynolds called him, from his childhood in Windsor Forest to the coffee-houses of eighteenth century London; the age of Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels and John Gay’sBeggars’ Opera. A stunning and colourful picture of the age. 15 Oct- 19 Oct Guys and Dolls Epsom Light Opera Company presents Guys and Dolls. A story of Sergeant Sarah Brown, of the Save a Mission; Adelaide a showgirl, desperate to leave her seemingly glamourous lifestyle for a white picket fence and roses round the door; Nathan Detroit trying to fnd another location for his floating dice game and keep one short step ahead of the law. And the coolest, highest roller of them all, Sky Masterson, who would bet on anything that would turn him a profit..... 19 October AN Evening With ‘Atlantis’ Atlantis performs another great selection of best known hits of the last 6 decades, including the music of Elvis Presley, The Beatles, Abba, The Carpenters and lots more. 21 October Pete Lay’s Gambit Jazzmen 22 October Stephen K Amos Back by popular demand - The maestro of feelgood comedy and star of television and radio, Stephen is back with his new stand-up show after a sell-out season at the Edinburgh Festival.


23 October Solid Gold Country Legends Voted as Best Event - British County Music Awards Now in its’ 11th year Solid Gold Country Legends is a “Celebration of the Best in Country Music”, and has proved popular on both sides of the Atlantic. Led by Country Stars Jeanne Jordan & B J Thomas, together with Luke Thomas and the Outlaw Country Band, who are amongst the finest Country Musicians you will ever see! Also new for 2013 the Dolly Mixture Dancers who ad more than a touch of glamour to the show. 24 October London Community Gospel Choir The London Community Gospel Choir is on the road again celebrating their optimum 30th Anniversary Tour. Don’t miss out on a night of enriching, inspirational, soul edifying gospel music as LCGC take us through their 30 year journey with momentous songs and narrative, enlightening the audience with the history that facilitates LCGC as our favourite UK premier gospel choir. 25 October Simon and Garfunkel - Through the Years The Finest tribute act to Simon and Garfunkel in th UK today , ‘Bookends’ - Dan Haynes and Pete Richards follow the career of the folk rock duo from Queens. This show features video clips of Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel giving their personal account on their rise to fame, intertwined with delicate and accuarate perfomances from Bookends of all the calssic hits such as Mrs Robinson, The Boxer, The Sound of Silence and many more.. 27 October 200th Anniversary Verdi Opera Gala International classical vocal duo SUL FIATO, comprised of Australian soprano Naomi Scott de Moncloa and Peruvian tenor Miguel Moncloa, are proud to present a gala concert to celebrate the 200th birthday of Italian composer Giuseppe Verdi. Music from Verdi’s popular operas will be performed along with works by composers who influenced and were influenced by Verdi. SUL FIATO (literally ‘on the breath’ in Italian) bring their own unique blend of beauty of voice, passion for music and personal chemistry to popular classical repertoire. 28 October Scrooge This spectacular adaptation of Dicken’s timeless tale will hold all audiences spellbound. Played out by huge puppets, fine actors, great songs and ingenious staging; this is another highly acclaimed children’s production brought to you by Image Theatre. The first part of the production is a light hearted half hour rehearsal in which the audience is taught the chorus of four songs and ten children are chosen and rehearsed into small parts in the play. During a break those taking part are costumed and the show lasting one hour, runs seamlessly with everyone taking part. 29 October LDN Wrestling Half term family entertainment. The exuberant stars of LDN Wrestling are coming to Espsom for a night of action packed drama! Don’t miss out with top names including British Heavyweight Champion the battaling Barbarian Karl Krammer, Pirate Paul Malen, the Masked Man of Mystery the Dark Lord and many more. 30 October Fireside Tales with Grandad Pickled Image Ltd presents Fireside Tales with Granddad Cuddle up around the campfire as Granddad recalls a daring escape from a hungry shark. Tuck into a marshmallow or two as he attempts to make a new set of underpants for a giant. And watch as the shadows between the trees unravel a tale of greedy goblins, grumpy trolls, sneaky princes and a very unusual princess. Exquisite puppets, captivating storytelling, beautiful shadow puppetry combine to create an enchanting show guaranteed to spark the imagination of everyone from 4-104.

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With our modern, fully equipped workshop we are committed to providing a service level second to none. Our workshop is over 10,000 square feet in size and we have storage for 40+ vehicles. Our advanced facilities make Coombe Coachworks one of the leading Accident Repair Centres in the area. The quality of service we provide means a high rate of return business from the private motorist to major insurance companies. We hold many Manufacturer’s approvals and details are on our website. Coombe Coachworks can offer a total solution for crash repairs from setting up your claim with your insurance company, providing replacement vehicles and making sure you get what you are entitled to. Coombe Coachworks 1 Sandiford Road Sutton SM3 9RN Phone 02086410060 Fax 02086448056



ÂŁ50 OFF YOUR EXCESS (subject to T&Cs)

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1 T F t 2 K v 3 P s T 6 a 4 B s f S M 5 F C g 7 B 8 A a r e Y 9 T A C s 1 J 1 T W w S 1 S n S 1 T h T 1 E A r s t 1 A P 2


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Clubs OCs Netball Club OCs Netball Club is a social, yet

competitive netball club based in Cheam, Surrey, and is looking for new players - young, or not so young, with any type of experience, even if it was many moons ago! The club is made up of local ladies from 26 – 60 years old who play in three local leagues – Kingston, Surrey and Metropolitan. They cater for a wide variety of skill and ability across two competitive teams and a more social, development squad. Its clear the one key thing that binds this fairly random group of local ladies together is the love of netball, its not just about training on a Wednesday evening or the Saturday matches. There is a strong social side too – from pub quizzes, Christmas parties, charity tournaments, tours and most importantly the post Saturday match tea and cakes. It’s very easy to get sucked in by its sense of community.

And, they are not adverse to a bit of babysitting duty either! It seems that a couple of players take leave to have a baby every year. So its not uncommon to find a couple of little cheerleaders on the side lines being cooed over while mummy gets back to other important things like playing netball. Louise joined the club a couple of years ago, and said “I wish I joined years ago. Not only am I able to have a regular hobby that gives me great escape from work, I’ve made great friends and able to keep fit without it being a chore.” We train every Wednesday evening at 19.30 at Nonsuch School for Girls (Ewell Rd Cheam, Surrey SM3 8AB) throughout the season - which runs through to April 2014. If you are interested in coming along, or would like to find out more, please email Tracy on

Andy Reeve

Plumbing & Heating Engineer ALL PLUMBING SERVICES from tap washers, toilets & garden taps through to installation of Central Heating Systems, Kitchens & Bathrooms.

No call out charges • Over 30 years in the trade

Mob : 07973 733649 / Tel : 020 8393 0180 To advertise email or call 020 8336 2915



For a beautiful new kitchen...

just change the doors

Have you always wanted the kitchen of your dreams, but can’t quite justify paying the expensive price tag that comes with it? Now you can by just swapping the doors and worktops.

Less cost, less time, less mess...

• Huge choice of Doors, Worktops, Appliances, Sinks & Taps • Free Estimating and planning • 50% deposit with balance on completion

For a FREE NO OBLIGATION home visit telephone 020 8399 1226 Or visit our showroom: 406 Ewell Road, View our credentials at Tolworth, Surrey KT6 7HF Please remember to mention Worcester Park Life when you speak to our advertisers 58Email

Safer Neighbourhoods Vehicle crime protect yourself by PCSO Gary Weaving

There has been an increase in incidents of thefts from motor vehicles nationwide and Sutton Borough are targeting roads and leaving useful crime prevention information with householders. A substantial number of these thefts have not required forced entry. By this I mean the vehicles were either left insecure or unlocked (I myself have been guilty of assuming my car would self lock when in fact it doesn’t), or the thieves are finding new and clever ways of effecting entry.

Did you know that

- Most vehicle crime is preventable. It can take as little as 10 seconds for a thief to steal something from your car. If at all possible, leave nothing on view. - NEVER leave any valuable items in your car, including sunglasses, the removable radio cover and your Sat Nav. Do you really need all those things you keep in the glove box? - Wipe away the Sat Nav mark on your windscreen. - Consider fitting anti-tamper screws to your number plate. - Never leave your car keys where they can be seen from the front door.

Vehicle common sense

Always - Close the windows and sunroof; lock the doors and activate any security devices when leaving your car unattended. - Park with care, particularly at night or if you are leaving the vehicle for a long time. If possible, park in a busy, well-lit area. - Lock your car always. Even if it’s right outside your front door on the driveway. Never - Leave cash, credit cards, cheque book, mobile phones, vehicle documents or other valuables in the car. - Never leave your keys in the car, even for a second treat them as you would your cash and credit cards.

Be vigilant at all times, and should you become aware of a car crime in progress: DO NOT: Approach or make yourself known to the criminal. DO: Call 999, note the time, and if possible from an invisible vantage point, make a note of descriptions, vehicles (including registration numbers), and even the direction in which the criminal/s make off. The most important thing is to stay safe and do not worry, the probability is that you probably wont be affected by a crime of this type. But we must always be alert and aware. The more precautions we take, the less likely it will be that these criminals will frequent your area. Any information you may be able to give us will be received in the strictest confidence. Please continue to help us make Worcester Park and Nonsuch among the safest wards in London. Thank you

The Picture Frame Warehouse FOr all your framing needs 41 burlington Road, new malden, surrey, kt3 4lp

Large Selection of Ready Made Frames and Mounts Custom Framing Service available Retail and Wholesale Sporting Memorabilia, Canvas Stretching, Medals Needlework and Batiks 10% off with this advert

Please contact us on 0208 949 7119

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Dad’s Diary Ready in 5 minutes by Ian Duncan

Better late?

What’s more, we poor chaps are left waiting, while you ladies finish getting ready, for an average of seventeen and a half minutes each time. That adds up to a day and a half a year - almost three months of our lives. Do I have to triple this with three females in the house?

The only way I’d be caught without makeup is if my radio fell in the bathtub while I was taking a bath and electrocuted me and I was in between makeup at home. I hope my husband would slap a little lipstick on me before he took me to the morgue. Dolly Parton It’s the Wife’s birthday and we’re off to a restaurant to celebrate (one where they do not do the whole dimming of lights, candle in tiramisu, waiters singing, offspring delighting in your embarrassment thing). Daughters disappear upstairs to change out. Daughters re-appear in party dresses (At least someone gets excited about your birthday and wants to dress up). Daughters decide jackets don’t go with dresses. Daughters disappear upstairs to change. Repeat. Initially this is quite amusing. After about ten minutes, my grin has faded and I’m looking to the only other male in the house, the dog, for moral support. After twenty minutes the dog and I are curled up on the couch recovering from the realisation that this is our lot for the next, goodness knows, how many years.

A Total Necessity

Now, every man thinks that the woman in their life takes forever to get ready. However, chaps, this simply is not true. Women do not take an eternity to get dressed up for a night on the town. They only take three years. According to a survey by Harley Street beauty clinic Specialist Make-up Services, the average length of time needed for posing in front of the mirror, changing outfits several times and putting on the slap is an hour and sixteen minutes for every big night out - the equivalent to three years over a lifetime. Apparently this includes: - twenty two minutes showering and shaving their legs - seven minutes moisturising - twenty three minutes styling/drying their hair, - fourteen minutes on make-up - ten minutes getting dressed. (Strangely, the survey fails to add the ten minutes we spend think up a, non-life threatening ,answer to the question “Does my bum look big in this?”)


Greg Building Services Loft Conversions • Extensions Bathroom Installation • Kitchen Installation Plumbing • Plastering Painting and Decorating • Refurbishment Excellent references available - All jobs fully insured



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When times are tough you have to shout about your business

EVEN LOUDER Be seen and heard by the your local market in the Village Voice and Worcester Park Life. With competitive pricing, friendly efficient service and helpful advice it’s simple and effective - but then the best ideas always are.

Call jenny on 020 8336 2915 or go online To advertise email or call 020 8336 2915



to advertise call 020 8336 2915 Accounting & Bookkeeping



Abbeyfield Wendover House Classic Home Care True Blue Nurses

8 41 24

Car hire, maintenance & repair Chessington Motorcycles 30 Coombe Coachworks 55 Elmwood Vehicles 39 K&P Tyres 8

Carpets & Flooring Carpets 4 U


Cleaning services

Able2Build 36 AC Gardening 22 Cypress Gardening 24 Elegant Curtains 51 Greg Building Services 60 PE Contractors 15 Robinson & Son painters & decorators 42 Roofing and Guttering 49 RJ Trees 34 SKC Electrical 37 TSD Building 5

Kitchens, bathroom & plumbing Andy Reeve Plumber Bathroom Refurbishment Dreamdoors Kitchens Smith & Byford

Bits and Bobs 18 GES Clean 23 Lions of London 14 Ovenclean 24 Time 4 You 57


Counsellling & Hypnotherapy

The Doggy Wash

Brett Hinson Hypnotherapy Stella Warriner Counselling

Driving Schools Nigel Roberts

42 48



Picture Frames

Picture Frame Warehouse


Funeral Directors Evershed Brothers



Best Price Beds Hamseys matresses Tudor Williams Unilet Sound & Vision

Fresh Printing

Browns 302Connor Prince Jackson Noon

45 25 63 21

Sport and Leisure

Cheam Leisure 64 Chipstead Golf 3 Cycle Power 44 Hook Swim School 48 King George Indoor Bowls Club 26 The Malden Centre 19 Royal British Legion 6 Walkfit 30 Yoga 22 Zumba 35


Cheam Windows 3 Kingsbridge Local 45 Warmlite 54

We also publish


Ransoms 47

Food & Drink

Farmers Market 7 HG Wells 16


Suddies 35 VA Roswell Gas Repairs 9

Plant Hire Printing


57 29 58 50

AMS Optician 44 R Woodfall 45

Education & classes The Study School


Home, gardening, decorating


20 12


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! d o o g feel • Memberships from ONLY £1 per day • NO contracts • Access to online training plans, workouts and videos • Plus additional benefits with an Everyone Active card

Jo i n Today

FREE ACTIVITY PASS FOR YOU AND A FRIEND With this voucher. Terms apply. Valid until 31/10/2013.

Cheam Leisure Centre

0208 644 2891

Everyone Active

manages this Please remember to mention Worcester Park Life facility when you speak to our advertisers 64 on behalf Feel better for it of Sutton Council