and then resolve our disagreements and realize how good we have it,” says Karen. What first attracted them to each other—and keeps them together—is a love of playful fun and good times with friends. Karen remarks, “I knew Dick was ‘the one’ when he jumped flat-footed over a wingback chair at a friend’s house. That showed me that he was young at heart.”
Working out as a couple, sharing a creative project or making a gourmet meal together can do more than keep partners feeling connected. Shared activities also keep the positive experiences ongoing and resonating. “That special bond and the commitments people often build around it are the products of love, the results of the many smaller moments in which love infuses you,” maintains Fredrickson. Such moments not only accumulate, but can also be stored in memory and banked to feed a relationship during the tougher times. “Love is something we should recultivate every day,” she says. A loving partnership is always a work in progress. Judith Fertig is a freelance writer from Overland Park, KS.
for Alleviating Anxiety By Svetla Popova
ow that the gently send them off by major holidays thinking “Later,” and are over and continue listening to your the old calendar year breathing. Doing this is wrapped up, most of exercise for even just two us think “Now I can reminutes delivers marvellax.” For many people, ous relaxation. however, relaxation is still elusive. Schedules 3. The shortest breathare overpopulated, and ing technique: Look up tax season is coming, while you inhale through too, bringing a lot of the nose. Look down (and Svetla Popova, LCPC worry along with it. slump a little bit) while The rat race continues, you exhale (somewhat the world spins too fast, and we reloudly) through the mouth. Pause. main stressed. When we are stressed Take a normal breath while you raise out, we enter the tunnel vision of your eyes to a neutral position (to eye survival; we miss opportunities, our level)—and that’s it. creativity becomes depleted and we make ourselves sick. So, what may 4. Stop! Delete!: Use these simple, be the answer? Relax, of course. This firm, resolute phrases with yourself is usually easier said than done, but when you catch negative thoughts or here are five suggestions for quick feelings cycling through. relief from anxiety throughout your day and night. 5. And last but not least, SHAKE IT OFF (literally): When you feel shakes 1. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techor jitters, find a private place and start nique), also known as Tapping: Tap shaking your body vigorously, exagon specific acupressure points while gerating the motions. In a few mingiving a healing message to the subutes you will feel calm and free. And conscious. The method significantly it is even better if you have friends and reduces the stress-hormone levels put on some energetic music—shaking in our body in about five minutes. it off now becomes a party! Pop musiShort instructions are needed to learn cians do not even realize that they are the basic application, which is well contributing to a powerful psychologiworth it. cal technique, and making it fun.
2. Listen to your breathing: Sit and lower your eyes (don’t close them) while listening and paying attention to your breathing. Quiet places are best, but if you cannot find one, you can still do the exercise in public while those around you are none the wiser of what you are doing. If thoughts and noises come to you, 18
Svetla Popova, LCPC, owns and operates the practice Accelerated Counseling LLC, which treats children, teenagers, adults and couples. In addition to being a licensed counselor, she is trained and certified in EMDR, Reiki, and EFT, and can be reached at 207761-3883 or at AcceleratedCounseling. com. See ad, page 7.