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Since I lost My Half PRAJIL KV


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL

For ‘ Surya and Sonali ‘


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL

If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL 1 Prologue She appeared in the court after 6 months, that was counseling for us .family court was crowded as always. It seems to be a share broking house where we can buy or cell relationships; everyone had a deadly rhythm on their movements. I reached early as usual I had missed the first appearance because I had an interview in Info Park. (On that time I were not able to hear any lies by my wife, that was the main reason for ignoring the first appearance) Latter, I heard the drama from my advocate she lied about our relation ship and she pretend to be innocent and merely said I am a cheater. She was in a hurry to escape from our unconditional love, and she looked like a fire force women in a khaki dress who is trying to rescue her father from the big trouble called operation Aman. 'She became a great daughter to a great dad rather than being a great lover and great wife'. And on the very first day of appearance judge decided we both need to attend the most famous circus of family court, “the counseling”, The main seekers of counseling were her parents but the judge made the rule follow. Judge postponed the case to another date and said Sonali and Aman need to attend counseling. I was gone down hearing this all drama from my advocate 'Do you think she really loves you …?' My Adv asked Me.? Yep…! I know still she loves me … she can’t go …she will be with me only …my brain was searching to pick the proper answer. 'Is that a question to ask…? Obviously, she loves me.' I answered with a


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL stammered voice..!!! Ok just go through bible you will get the proper dialogue for your hope …!!!

" Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called. ”

And Adv called the next client, as I left the room she hadn’t appeared for the next 2 counseling. I went to the court, and came back with the same hope ’may be next time’…! Finally that day came it was the counseling for us. As per the world bullshit law, 'Ladies first' rule followed there...!!! I was eagerly waiting outside of that counseling room, after a long time am going to hear Sonali's voice, and am going to see her very near ..!! Very much excited like a school boy who is waiting to punish by principal behalf of his friends faults. But my intellectual brain reminds me that there is no way for a will. She will move from you... and she will say something bullshit inside the cabin. Be prepared for the worst.. I heard the old accountancy lecture as a mosquito’s buzz “Conservatism - anticipating loss more than profit” after 15 minutes they called me inside. She were beautiful as always my Testosterone worked like something but suddenly all the hormones commit suicide inside my cell. Counselor breaks the silence of love


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL 'see Aman, Sonali is saying that she need to go with her parents...!’ As you had lied about ‘Surya’ "What the fuck you are saying...? I lied??? OMG " that was the answer in my mind but I controlled! I saw my love, dancing & flying in front of me like a joker..." The life itself branded & reserved me as a schlemief "..I thought. She deceived the "Love" we grown up together, she adulterated the dreams we lived for, she poisoned our memorable past...she...she....she left, making me an abandoned lonely idiot with the "couches of sorrows" I am still living with...., only to protect & fulfill her selfish, conservative Parent's wicked aspirations. 'What you are saying Sona..? What cheating I did..? Will you please? Really, I didn’t get you …?' I asked and breathed very eagerly. 'I don’t have any kind of belief in you … I can’t trust you … I want to go with my parents …you cheated me!!!' She repeated the same ..!. Her voice had the same boldness as she said in front of the 'sub inspector' after our marriage, but it was slightly different, that was I want to go with my husband 'As you are saying I cheated you then the thing which you have done to me ...what was it ..Eternal love..? Or unconditional love ...?' I asked her I looked her again …I need to confirm that is this the same girl who called me LLF (life long friend), who loved me more than anything, who knows me more than I know about myself, who became my wife ignoring the pressure by her parents…who lived with me, and who dreamed the future in all my breaths …!!! Oh it’s really unbelievable …!!! No, you cant forget the love we had ,not only I am but also you …you are


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL also going to suffer with out me …please don’t do this . .. Thoughts went randomly inside the brain may be some useless thoughts …!!! I tried to look at her eyes she avoid the eye contact ‘Why you came again after the brake up? ’I asked her I felt the earth is braking in to pieces …am going away from her ' they hadn’t kidnapped you? They hadn’t beaten me? And you don’t know anything about my past …and especially about Surya, is it? ' All questions came frequently from my unconscious ness! She avoid all the questions, she treated me like a stranger I was reading her mind! No Sona I know you. I know why you are acting like this! And I sighed and she left me, crushing out that little flower inside me in her palms...& flew away, to the present...here I am still constrained to stay imprisoned with the past


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL 1 Grassy sunny day I sat on the concrete block near to the sea shore. A hot wind wafting salty air passed over me that made my skin sticky and wet, I was listening to the melody of waves breaking in to the sea shore .Kannyakumari had woke up already It was half past 9, Bright sun rays traveled a long distance and diffracted in to yellow and all the Kannyakumari looked yellowish and beautiful on that sunny day. Bright yellow rays of Sun blessed the city and erased the ugliness of the city from her face .Road side ventures started their works by shouting their product's name in a specific ' South Indian English ' , some music shops played devotional songs of "goddess Kannyakumari" . Even though it was half past nine some played 'M.S Subhalakshmi's suprabhatham' , people from different places in different colors scattered all around and they traveled from one shops to another and that process repeated with time progresses .Streets pulled in to a state of rush and completely transformed in to a battle field . As we had finished the study part yesterday we were on our incredible enjoyment part. All of my friends were engaged on flirting they had a piece of paper written it by some Hindi film heroes names like Karan,Rahul, Arjun etc and their own land line number .They distributed this paper piece to strangers, especially to good looking girls .I found girls boring and nothing amusing so I thought being alone with roaring waves till they finish their distribution works will be better for me .I was sure as the money was with me then they will come to me after their flirt, Rama Moorthy had given me 1000 Rs for our expenses .


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL ( On morning 5.30 after the beautiful sunrise Rama Moorthy Sir called every one in to the balcony And said, Guys, we have time till the evening , I know you guys are not anymore kids, and he passed a teasing smile to Sumith as he was the smallest one of our batch And continued, you have the freedom and grab it. I will accompany the girl’s batch and if any of you need to join my team you can join, and vice-versa!!! And he looked at girls with a crooked face!!! (UN) fortunately girls stood with Moorthy only, and 5 of our boys joined Moorthi’s team. The remaining 13, under Jackson's leadership said a Big ' good bye sirrrr ' to Moorthy and 'see yaaaa girls' to girls. Those remind me the movie Charlie’s angels “Aman, come here,” Moorthy called me personally, And hand over me 1000 rupees and said “You should cut the coat according to your cloth, take care of boys.” and he left the balcony)

Suddenly Jackson came to me, “Hi dude, I got this...!” He said, by pointing to a copy book I took some effort to move my eyelid towards him I saw rounding stars around Jackson’s head he seemed like some Hindu sadhu in his orange out fit. He had changed his shirt to an orange ‘ohm’ printed kurta. "Swami Jackson thiruvadikal, you should have finished your distribution works? Isn’t it? “I asked and I laughed “Why the fuck you are laughing…?” Jacks asked me.


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL Aman, don’t pretend to be swami Vivekananda …!!! He warned me..! Ohm am not the one, but you.....you looks like swami ... 'Swami Jackson thiruvadikal,' I laughed at him again “Tell me Jacks what's the matter?” I pretend to be more serious and asked And he showed me what he got! It was a copy book, he steals it from some school girls; the main part of attraction of the book was, that had almost all the phone numbers and addresses of a Girl’s Higher Secondary School. (I never thought this small copy book will ruin my entire life) "Wow …you little kid you made it …Go and fuck the copy book…!” I said with angry. In-between rest of our boys had joined us All of them looked happy, their mission has been accomplished. “Yep let’s go to our room and enjoy this moment." Shine said..! I nodded and followed them.

******* After we reached our room I said “I have an idea …!” and I showed some real Kannyakumari stuff which I bought from a local fisherman. “No Aman that 'takes a puff and wait for the second one to release' was a bloody one I don’t want to explore more “Sumith said with a stammering voice. He had done some grass experiments with me once in our hostel room; he had lost his mind on that day. He always wants to smoke the grass, but he had that fear every time.


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL “No dear it’s a great one...I swear .As we are on our final days, who knows were we all gonna reach, as my mamma always said life is like a box of chocolate no body knows ....”! Jackson interfered me and finished the rest. ”what we gonna get...!” He winked at me with a smile. "so lets enjoy the moment " shine joined then We made an emotional blackmailing over our friends with that 'Forest Gump' dialogue, it was all about enjoying the day, some times friends do blackmailing for making the moment memorable. Somebody get me a bed sheet! I said eagerly...!!! Suddenly Shine run to his luggage and took the bed sheet from his bag, it was a woolen bed sheet, Love of his mother shined on Shine’s bed sheet “Oh mamma we are really sorry we are going to use this for a great idea, you won’t like it “Ramjith roared with this statement I made a tent with the bed sheet and said” OK everyone get inside...!” All nodded and followed my instructions We the top “10”grassers were under that bed sheet, which one was big enough to suck all of us. Every one looked at me …with a 'what the hell is going on' look …!!! The tiger prints on the bed sheet gave a Neanderthal cave experience to us. I arranged them as we are attending one round table conference and I light up the Joint and an ordinary cigarette, I took a deep puff of joint and give it to shine. After one puff, he handover the joint to Ramjith and joint rolled from one person to another in clock ways and anti-clock ways directions. Thick smoke of grass minimized the space between us, each and every single nucleus in our cells transformed in to a pensive mood and we horripilated with joy. “Don’t allow the Smoke to go out; we will enjoy it in all our breaths." I said


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL It remembered me Pious Pandey’s the great horse ad “passive smoking kills” I changed the tagline for the time being “passive smoking thrills” …!!! Pandeyji passive smoking is really enjoyable I swear. Every moment under that bed sheet was thrilling; As the after effect was very quick After the first round 1, Sumith started crying …!! He really wants to see his mamma. 2, Ramjith started singing, may be the worst song I ever experienced in my life 3, the silent Ranish became a philosopher " Oh my dear god, you are great you made heaven, you made earth, you made man, you made women, and you made GRASS all those creations except Grass were worst …! Thanks from my side for putting the seed of grass on earth" and he got loud applause for that philosophical discovery “No... Man, thanks from our side “Sumith added his part with a crying voice And we nodded..!!! “It was great under that bed sheet” Ashaan Syam sighed and said; "at past we wasted lots and loads of grass Oh I’m feel like a loser… any way thanks Aman … thanks for this great UBS (under the bed sheet) idea..!" You are most welcome bro.


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL 2 Kurta shop tragedy “Shall we go out? “After the UBS I asked everyone “After all we were in our tour; we hadn’t done anything to complete the word tour”. “It will be great on ‘Vivekananda rocks’ with this grassy mood!!!” Jackson Supported me In this grassy cheesy mood going for a mediation on the most privileged place for mediation won’t be a bad idea every one were aware about it It will be a blow job kind of thing in an abandon thicket And we went out to experience Kannyakumari with a grassy eye Dosage of heavy grass had made us sadhus’. It was 11.15 am Street found over crowded .sales man still keeps the pace on shouting. “Sir, rompa nalla saari sir..adaaya vilpaneyyy.. Buy one get one free sir!!” “Have a look at it sir, checking is almost free,” they shouted in Tamil and in some specific south Indian English “From were you brought this kurta? “I asked Jackson “From that small shop near to the temple” he pointed his finger to north, even it was out of sight, and we understood it may be on north direction. “I need a kurta!” “Guys we are planning to buy a kurta if you want you can stay with us other wise will meet at Vivekananda rock.” I said Jackson, Shine, and Sumith stood with me and others went to the ticket counter We followed Jackson to the kurta shop


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL “Shall we buy rum now, for the night party? “Jackson asked when we passed the wine shop. “Ohhh jacks .you know, we are in a sacred place” Sumith warned him not to buy. “Ohhh really, you can smoke grass that’s not a problem but drinking is prohibited. Is it?” “Grass is sacred man all Sadhus do.” It is a way to eternity, Shine supported Sumith “You don’t know anything about Hinduism.” And he laughed Sumith found scared as he was a true believer of god “This is the shop “Jackson pointed his finger in to an antique shop “What??? Are you nuts? Jacks don’t play with us it’s an antique shop “ “Ohhh shit, bros am not joking I bought this kurta from this shop Go and check inside “ We put our first step doubt fully in to the antique shop It may be an axe by Jackson .I checked Jackson’s facial expressions he found innocent haven’t seen any crooked ness in his face that made us confident for putting the second step. That shop had antique pieces, some old sculptures, jars, coins, pots etc we haven’t found any dress materials on that shop we again looked at Jackson. “What? Why you guys staring at me? Ohhh!!! Believe me; I bought this from here, mother promise!” He swore in his mother’s name “How can I help you sir?” One small boy approached us “Do you have kurtas? We want kurtas, like this one,” I said by pointing Jackson’s ‘ohm’ printed kurta “Sure sir, this way sir “sales boy showed us the way, “Now the thing is ok!!!


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL Do you believe me now?” Jackson muttered with puff Elusively we said sorry, and followed the sales man In that antique shop they had three sections, the entrance section was for selling antique materials second section was for dress materials third section had sea shells items and ladies stationary materials Foreign tourists mainly entered in to the shop for checking the antique pieces and they went from the shop by picking some dress materials and some local shell necklaces. Antique shop was only an attraction, pots and sculptures became more antique day by day, neither had they sold any antique piece nor any body bought any antique piece. We entered in to the second section; they had wide varieties of kurtas, dhothis, churihdars and cotton saris .I moved to the kurta section, suddenly Jackson hides behind a demo sculpture “What?” I dazed when I see Jackson’s sudden movement “What’s the matter man?” I asked shine Some girls came to us; they waved their hands towards us I saw Shine’s weird face on the wall mirror “Who the hell are they? “I asked Shine “Ohhh shit they are the same girls’ bro, the girls whom from jacks had stolen that copy book!” Shine also tried to hide him self, unfortunately they had reached very near I saw shines weird face .I and Sumith looked each other we had understood the drama well They were two in number but talked like thousands. Both of them looked beautiful in their uniforms one were white skinned another one had a dark complexion .they looked very tensed and restless Hi guys’ they wished us


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL Hi we replayed “I am Sumith, “Sumith introduced himself The grey skinned lady said “I’m Divyasree Nair she is Naina Koshi “ “Hi Naina I’m Aman he is shine Gangadaran Kumar!!!” “Ohhh!!! such a long name? “She dazed Shine controlled his anger and he passed a dirty look to me I saw the burning bomb inside him .whenever he heard his full name, there happens a bomb blast, so occasionally we did teasing him with this full name kind of thing .we never missed a chance to tease him and he never forget to kick us on our ass. It continued as a ‘Shine Gangadaran Kumar cycle’ “BTW, one more guy was there with you, in the morning? A fat one in an orange kurta! “Divyasree asked Shine “Yeah!!! Might be Jackson, he is shopping behind that sculpture” Sumith said by pointing the demo sculpture, where Jackson had hide himself. “Hi girls!!!” he wished them We saw Jackson’s weird face He was weirder than ‘charley Chaplin’ he muttered some mother tongue craps and killed us with his eyes We both were sure after these girls left, it’s going to be fun; Shine and Jackson may kill us and will put us in the Indian Ocean Namby pamby situations were usual between us, as we loved making fun on each other. We teased, quarreled, argued, laughed and almost found pleasure making fun on others. , we never complained about anyone’s behavior it was common in between us. “Bro have …you… got… our ...Address book? “Divyasree asked Jackson “That ice cream parlor guy told us you have taken our address book “


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL Me!!! He showed innocence in his face “It wasn’t me “! May be some one else I don’t know Jacks made a perjury They frowned and looked us for some positive response .It showed they were not sure about the address book is with us. We ignored them and turned to our kurta selecting job Frequently Jackson seized my bag and took out the copy book from it And called the girls, they were almost on the small entrance of the kurta shop “Divyasree wait! Is this the book you were looking for? “He asked by showing their address book in his hand They looked back by hearing Jackson’s voice I saw 500 + 500 moons on their face Divyasree ran from the door to us Jackson hand over the books and said, “You know I found this book abandon in that ice cream parlor’s table. “ “He took this to help you!!! Can you imagine if it goes to some mattoids it won’t be like this, they might be misusing it? Take care on your things.” Shine said and showed our innocence to them They sighed enthusiastically They showed their pleasure on us and they thanked us “It’s our pleasure, always happy to help” I said “So every thing is fine now. You girls owe us a treat “Sumith added “As we escaped you from a big trouble isn’t we?” Sumith looked them through the corner of his eyes his eyeballs moved to left as they were on his left side May be another time bro. teachers might be waiting for us!!! We have to go now? Thank you again they said


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL Wait just have this Jackson took a paper piece from his pocket and hand over it to Naina, which he had distributed to other girls .the same one which had the phone number and his name in it Keep in touch …I remind you, you girls owe us a treat!!! Jackson said Sure brother we will .while running from the shop Divyasree looked back and winked us. We waved them After they left Jackson and Shine turned to us Fuckers gonna kill you after this shopping, Shine and Jackson reprimanded us We laughed to them Ok Shine Gangadaran Kumar, let us finish this now after will kill each other!!! Every one joined the laughter then I bought a light green kurta for Shine, Sumith selected a white one for me and Jackson bought a brown one for Sumith and we changed our outfit from that shop it self We finished our shopping and we walked to the ticket counter through the whitish sand While walking to the ticket counter Jackson asked me “What do you think Aman?” “Will they call us? “ They might be, that winking signs indicates that ….!!! She might be jacks …she might be!!!


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL 3 The Knock Drill "You fuckers switch off the TV Mohammed roared with anger...!" He was really angry as we played a funny game with Mohammed. After the Kannyakumari dharshan and a long meditation in the Vivekananda rock we did some shopping. Shine and Jackson went to buy Rum for the night party Mohammed was very irritated with the sunny day as he doesn’t took bath at the morning, and he begged us to go to the room first, but we ignored him, as we also had an idea to take bath but, here some one like Mohammed ‘6 feet 92 inches chest ‘one real fat "Glutton" in our class is begging us for the same so we changed the plan. We said to MANTHU (that was his nick name it means a real fat man) "we are not coming to the room we are hungry " So food is the first priority, Anush said loudly…!!! " everyone nodded and went to the Restaurant for having lunch Mohamed got angry and he went to the room. I shocked with this drama " I can’t believe this; he left food for bath … ho..!!! Unbelievable I witnessed a history man, really ... shit happens sometimes " and I laughed Manthu ignored the food for bath..! Everyone started laughing with this drama. That was an unbelievable thing for us may be for the entire college or may be for the world. He was a very famous Glutton. He may kill and eat some one if he got hungry. That much famous was his eating. He never missed any free food. But here it happened


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL

“Sometimes shit happens “

Almost all of our classmates 'Sanku Mankus' are there and we had South Indian vegetable meals After our lunch Rama Moorthy sir told us " we have enough money with us for having deserts so let’s have ‘as much as you want’ " and he left the hotel with Sanku Manku ladies. The poor Rama Moorthy sir never thought 'as much as you want ' means a fucking number...!!! We ate 'as much as we can' we finished all the ice creams of that restaurants The owner called the suppliers for another quick delivery I heard the shop keeper’s prayer “Andavaa today seems to be a great day give me this kind of customers as much as you can” We finished that delivery too and at last we said our self… “Yep it’s enough…! After all Stomach is ours!" And we left the restaurant. We imagined Moorthi’s weird face as we ten people ate 238 ice creams and we laughed. A sweet replay to Moorthi’s as much as you want! I damn sure he never used that “as much as you want” for rest of his life As The polling was 1000% Jackson leads by 17, then Syamjith and me with 14, Sumith, Shine, Ramjith, and Anush etc in order, the minimum number by one was 12.


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL We bought dry chapattis and daal fry for Mohammed. We met Mohammed at hotel steps. He looked fresh and handsome "Where you going Manthu? "I asked "To the restaurant “he answered "We bought chapattis for you, no need to go there they closed the restaurant for 2 hours brake “I said and hand over the packet. He thanked me and hugged me "no Mohammed, no room for a drama here Go and eat …!” At the room we disclose the story of “as much as you want “.and Manthu came to know that he missed the opportunity. He looked at the dry chapatti and to me!!! " Where is my ice cream he asked "? "May be with Moorthy sir he took all the balance packets with him I forget to ask, you only go and ask him” Ranish said and he winked at me. "Yaa…the packet is with him " I supported as I understood the fun Manthu were blind to have Ice creams he never understood the drama as everyone acted innocent to Manthu, He ran to Moorthy sir’s room. Our room became a laughing zone after he left …! " Ho god you made a 98 kg real metal man and you were really sick to put something inside his brain …you only put a note on his brain 'die for the food'…!!! " I sighed and sat on the floor as I was tired because of laughing Room quaked with our laughing

He knocked at Rama Moorthi’s door


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL Moorthy opened the door as some one interrupted his siesta…!!! "Yes Mohammed what do you want…?" Moorthy asked "Sir I…" he stammered "Yes you…" he intervene Manthu’s replay "I need my ice cream he said bravely" "Ice cream …!!!" Moorthy became angry as he heard his wife’s name on a vacation He looked like he had an Ice cream monster on his dream "You guys are smart don’t try to be over smart," Moorthy said with angry!!! He used the ‘f ‘word to Manthu and he smash the door to manthu’s face Manthu didn’t understand anything "What the fuck he is? Is he nuts?" "The bloody Moorthy …fuck off… I came for my ice cream what the hell is this?" And he came back to the room everyone heard the story and controlled our laughter "What the fuck …is that the real way to talk to a student …?” I put some oil on the fire "May be because of interruption of his sleep …!” And I sighed "I think the packet is with girls… I saw a packet in Lisa’s hand shall we enquire about this??? " Shine asked Mohammad "No I don’t want ice cream, forget it …" Mohammed said with half minded "No man, just go and search their room too I will accompany you…"Sumith said and winked to us The second knock drill is going to happen "My god you are mistaken please put something more than that paper piece in his brain" I prayed to god


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL And we all moved to girl’s side to witnessing the drama

Mohammed knocked on Lisa’s door "Yes Mohammed what’s the matter …???" Lisa asked “Lisa, do you have my ice cream? Please give me my ice cream? I know it’s with you!" He asked all the questions in a single breath! "Are you nuts? I don’t have your ice cream!!! Go and ask Moorthy sir" And she closed the door We laughed around him Then only that fool understood it was a dram by us He became angry and turned to me and Jackson, I ran with my life Jackson jumped from the step Sumith, Shine and Ranish ran to Lisa’s room and closed the door He knocked at the door again and again with anger.

Moorthy came out side as he heard the uproar and he saw Manthu knocking at girl’s room He called him what’s the matter? What you are doing there? Moorthy asked him "Sir ice cream …" he stammered "Ho, you really sick!!!'' He gave him 20 rupees and said, go… And have your ice creams “as much as you want”!!!


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL But Mohammed refused that money, as he understood the trap inside Moorthi’s offer and he ran to our room with life after 10 minutes he sighed and said

"fools ate ice creams I’m not...!! Being cool (fresh) is good more than becoming a fool"


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL

Two weeks later …………………………………………………………………… 4 My Dear Jackson My phone rang again and again I was half slept and I heard the ring from my bed, I thought it may be a dream And I continued my dreaming “I saw my dad approaching to the phone and he picked the call. Hello...? Dad said. . Hi Uncle, it’s me Jackson. Is Aman there? Yeah, I think he is sleeping, sleeping like he didn't slept for years!!! Is any urgency? Shall I wake him up? Dad asked Yaa! If you can, will you please” I smiled when I see the politeness of Jackson...!!! It was a 'politeness Vs politeness' incident. Suddenly some one called me...!!! Aman woke up. I opened my eyes, and looked. Ohhh its dad... he interrupted my dream!! “Woke up Aman... its 12.45pm now You have a call from Jackson..., go and have the call!!! He is waiting! “Dad said ”what????? Jackson? Are you kidding me? "


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL Dad doesn’t understand what I said...As I were still in that dream. I saw dad's weird face, While I am moving to reach the phone I looked at the wall clock, he was right it was 12 .46 pm As I slept late at the night I was so sleepy, interruption of my sleep made me angry! I pick the phone and said in harsh tone ..." yes Aman here!!!”..."what the hell you want???" what the hell urgency you have in this afternoon? You know, am so tired I have to sleep little more! I rattled off. "Sorry bro, Sorry for the interruption!!!” Jacks said politely...!!! “What the fuck? Have you got any job in 'All India Radio' or in 'Dhooradharshan' for using that "sorry for interruption" tag in between us.” “Come to the matter Jacks, finish it fast my dreams are waiting there... need to sleep little more...!” I showed the urgency on my replays. Shitt!!! “We are about to get our output today? You forgot our experiment with Reghu Bhai?” “Fermentation have been finished buddy just need to distill the ethanol now “. “Don’t you wanna try the pure alcohol from the first drop?” He reminds me the importance of the day I heard the rustle of that old kerosene stove burning, and dreamed the blue fire magic with that first drop. And I charged up to 1000 Watts

(We stayed in a rented house called ‘Bharghavi’ near to our college. Real antique one which looked like a haunted house because of its haunted look we named it ‘Bharghavi nilayam’ (name of an old Malayalam horror movie)


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL ‘. House owner stayed there alone his name was Reghu we added a ‘Bhai’ to give him a local don appearance. He was a ‘holly drinker and juicy grasser’ after all ,we don’t need to pay him any rent, Need to give him food whenever we cooks also need to pay the electricity bill, that was the deal. We got ‘toddy’ (a local palm wine) even at the time of toddy strikes and unlimited ‘grass’. No need to worry about any bad activities everything was allowed there. That much broad minded was Reghu Bhai.)

“Ohhh...!!! Sorry Bro Let me complete my packing I will be there within 1 hour may be within half an hour...!” I heard Jackson laughing..!!! "May alcohol bless you” Jackson said in his mom’s voice and we both laughed? “Listen Aman; actually I called you for another purpose!” Jackson said when I was almost putting the receiver on the telephone “What!!! What purpose?” I asked “Actually I need a help?” Jacks said Help??? “Help in the sense? What you mean Jacks tell me straight! ” “I got a letter from Surya” He said “Ohhh!!! Really “ “You mean that 'Kannoor' girl? The one you got from Kannyakumari? “I asked “Yes exactly! We are in a relationship now?” Jacks said. What??? “You guys.... are...... in…. a…. relationship? You mean a long distance relationship?” I asked with wonder I never believed Jackson will fall in love; he was a fun loving guy, never serious in love .Handsome with a fatty Roundy body,


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL Not muscular, had one aim in life, fill the stomach with brandy and fill the lungs with smoke and enjoy the moment. I had experienced Jackson’s “I minute loves” at early times. “I don’t know is she in or out? But I am…...” He sighed “Oh Jacks it’s been interesting now,” “so tell me, what help you needed? “I asked him Aman, I am in love with her. I…am….Damn…serious!!! He stammered I dazed with his replay “Jacks are you kidding me?” “Love and you both are two poles of a magnet!!!” “I can’t believe this!!!” “You are kidding me, Right?” Again I asked. “See Aman I’m serious about Surya! Am seriously in love with her” it was more emphatic than earlier. That seriousness pierced in to my brain, and I decurrented in to a stage of seriousness “Hey Jacks listen” I interfered him “shall we discuss this matter at Bharghavi” I asked “Be there our self is perforce; otherwise tasting the ‘nectar’ will be a dream for us ‘makes hay while the sun shines’ after the blast we will discuss this matter “ “Don’t worry bro I will help you.” I added and put the receiver back. I saw Dad’s weird face!!! He might have heard some part of our conversation “I am moving, everyone reached ‘Bharghavi’!! I said. “Bharghavi!!!, who’s Bharghavi?” Dad asked I mean hostel Dad. “I said It’s our hostel’s name I added


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL He became weirder than earlier I sniffed an advice, am going to get some free advice now, His face had turned in to that mood “Aman, come here he “called me What’s the matter? He asked Nothing dad I shrugged. Actually jacks need some help Some love matter Dad, there is nothing to stare at me It’s all about his love, not mine and I passed a teasing smile to Dad He smiled back “pride goes before a fall “I remind you!!! He said I ignored his free advice as usual, and went to my room for packing my things. I packed my things and came back to the hall; as usual I forgot the bike key I called mom She replied from kitchen “Mom have you seen my key?” I entered in to the kitchen by asking this I get a sniff of frying meat; she was cooking some beef dish there, Without taking my looks from frying pan I asked again “Have you seen my bike key? I have to go now! “Ami, are you going? I’m making this for you, just wait 10 more minutes and have the lunch, what’s the urgency now?” She rattled “No time mom I have to move, if you can just pack it for me.” I showed my urgency And I dreamed beef fry with Arrack what a nice combination “Home made food with home made alcohol” “Ohhh really blessed” I whined!!! You check the key on the shelf; I will pack this for you. Mom said I kissed on her cheeks and left the kitchen


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL My conscience asked me, is this right, which you are doing? You don’t have any time to spend with your family? Why you are dyeing for Friends? Aman” blood is thicker than water” don’t forget this, one day you gonna pay for this”!!! He said. This is college life Mr. Conscience you won’t understand. ‘If you want to achieve something you have to sacrifice’ I said. Yeah I have to sacrifice Mom…. and I sighed I looked back to the kitchen. She was busy on slicing the onion. While I were engaged on searching my bike key she packed the fried meet and handover the packet and 500 Rs for my weekly expenses I hugged her; and left my home My sister came from her tuition classes I waved her on my bike and I started my bike I heard Dad’s voice behind me, Aman Ride carefully!!!

******

I reached Bharghavi at 3.30 pm Jackson had already reached there. I saw Reghu Bhai and Shine on the door steps all of them were eagerly waiting for me. Hi everyone, I waved towards them Where were you Ami? It’s been 30 more minutes! Shine said I smelled the tedium on shine’s voice And he shoved Jackson and ran in to the kitchen where the alcohol fermentation set up had been fixed


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL We followed him. Reghu Bhai lightened a match, and I saw three enthusiastic faces on that yellow blaze, then he ignited the old Kerosene stove. Kerosene started burning with a buzzing sound, yellow flames turned in to deep orange, extracted substance in side the pressure cooker simmered and the distillation process has been started. Vapor of ethane reached the rubber tube and turned in to alcohol. It dribbled out through the rubber tube and the glass jar got the first drop and it twinkled in our eye balls I dip my finger on the Arrack and I showed it in to fire, my finger caught fire!!! And we saw the blue blaze “It’s pure; thickness of that blue flame indicates the purity!” Reghu Bhai said. Scientists in side us horripilated with joy “After all we proved, we are science students “Jackson said!!! “I love chemistry” Shine added! Both I and Jackson laughed, by hearing shines comment “Yaa, we know you love chemistry more than anything”, I said. And I passed a teasing smile to him .His girlfriend was from Bsc chemistry. He spent almost all the time around chemistry department. I moved to the water tap and washed four glasses, one plate and our frying pan. Jackson checked the glass jar, “Yep…!!! Its enough, we have got enough ‘nectar’, shall we switch off the stove? “Jackson asked. “Wait bro, just a minute” let me warm this!!! And I took my bag and bring out the meat packet. I removed the distilling set up from the stove and laid the fry pan over the stove. And I put the fried meet to the frying pan for warming. Frying smell of meet wafted through the air pierced in to our nostrils


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL “It’s been a great party now!!!” “Let me arrange the room” Reghu Bhai said and left the kitchen for arranging the room. Shine followed him with the Arrack jar I switched off the stove after 2 minutes And serve the fried meat in to a plate Jacks had sliced some onion we garnished meat with onion slices “Took that glasses too bro,” I said to Jackson, and we went to the room Reghu Bhai and shine had arranged the room. they put a mat on the centre of the room and sat around the mat We laid the glasses and plate near to the ‘Arrack jar ‘ And Sat comfortable around the buffet “It’s our turn now Reghu Bhai, we will serve the nectar!!!” I said when I saw Reghu Bhai stood up to serve the Arrack. Jackson poured the ‘home made Arrack’ in to glasses We filled the remaining part of our glasses with water and took the glass up!!! And said

“For the excitement we shared in these days of experiment For the brother hood of friendship we bonded through For the fucker who said ‘blood is thicker than water’ For the tears, laughter, regrets and for the memories At last, but not least for almighty “

Cheers every one...Cheers…!!! Enjoy the moment And we took the first sip; it streamed through my soul and blessed the pensive veins of my body .the taste less liquid draw some figures less designs inside me


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL “Wow!!! Nice fry” Reghu Bhai wowed after he tastes the meat. Mom’s food I said “Mom’s food is mom’s food always …!” he sighed and looked at the wall photo. Reghu Bhai’s mom smiled from the framed photo, twinkles of read lamp reflected on his eyes Party progressed gradually with the drink and meat As it was a home made pure alcohol the after effect was very quick Reghu Bhai sang some folklore songs .we followed the tune and moved our heads to both left and right direction like elephants. After 2 and half pegs I said “it’s enough!!! Ohhh...!!! I’m gone “ Yes, earth is rotating its own axis …!! I have evidence with me. And I sighed “One more peg, Jacks?” Shine asked, ” it’s enough Bro…!” “You guys enjoy!” I’m done. Jackson said and leaned on the mat and switched on the CD player. It started playing in a crying voice.

“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year to save me from tears I’ll give it to some one special”

George tried to grab our happiness …!!! We followed the lyrics then it became uproar. Suddenly Jackson jumped from the mat by looking around and he goggled at me!!!


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL Shine and Reghu Bhai were still with the Arrack, they argued about some ‘mallu movies’ “What’s the matter?” I asked Jackson when I saw the excitement He avoids my question and continued the drama. “Reghu Bhai we have a seminar tomorrow, have to write our report, we will join after the preparation! Shall we move to our room? Jackson asked Reghu Bhai and winked at me. I dazed when I heard the word ‘seminar’!!! “Ok carry on guys” Reghu Bhai said, and they went back to their discussion .Shine had almost lost in the Arrack I followed Jackson to his room “Which seminar you are saying bro?” “Is any seminar tomorrow?” OMG! “It’s really fucking then” “I ‘m almost lost in the nectar, how can I prepare now!” I explained my helpless situation very innocently My tongue had become hard .I felt very difficult to move my tongue in side my mouth, words broken in between my talks. After all, alcohol had worked on me. “Fucker don’t worry about seminar, there is no seminar at all.” “I had asked you one help at the afternoon!!! Hope you remember my call!!! Jacks asked with an enthusiastic face “Ohhh yes, now I got it …!” you lied about seminar to avoid them? Hmmm, and I pat on his back “He replayed a weird smile to me. “Show me the letter “I showed my eagerness!!! “Wait; let me explain the situation!!!” Jackson said What situation!!! You just give me the letter; I seized the letter from him.


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL I will check it out myself then I’ll suggest you what all treatments you both needed. Hmmm!!! And I opened the letter and read the first line

My Dear Jackson,


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Since I Lost My Half

PRAJIL 5 Bye from your ever loving friend I started reading the letter My dear Jackson, It’s been one week now we became friends. How about your studies, I hope its going well .what about Aman, Sumith and Shine Gangadaran Kumar tells my regards to them!

I laughed when I saw ‘Shine Gangadaran Kumar’ “You fucker you too…you introduced him with his ‘gangadaran’ thing He may kill you!” “Brother I have a doubt! Give me a clarification!” “Actually who is Surya? We met Divyasree and what was the other girl’s name?” I asked as I didn’t remember her name I thought the girl whom he said in the after noon will be Surya “Naina Koshi “Jackson clarified “Then who the hell is Surya?” “That’s why I said; let me explain the things first” Ohhh Ok!!! I shrugged and put the letter on the table. I pulled the chair and rest my ass in it and I showed my anxiety for the story ” Wait, just a minute!!!” and he took a cigarette and lightened up

(To be continued)


Since I Lost My Half