Page 1

the newspaper

www.thenewspaper.ca

toronto’s student community paper

WTF is the MMP @ UTM

the inside:

By Mayssia Elajami This past week the UTM campus welcomed a panel of individuals who discussed the generated confusion amongst the student population and community members about the Mixed Member Proportional (MMP) vote, and what it represents. The panel group heavily emphasized both positive and negative viewpoints as well as the possible outcomes if the referendum is, or is not, voted in. This event would have not been possible on the UTM campus if it were not for the University of Toronto’s Students Union (UTSU) representatives working together with the University of Toronto at Mississauga Students Union (UTMSU). A week prior to this event, a major candidates’ debate took place on campus, in which the representatives of the Mississauga-Erindale area came out to present themselves to the UTM community to elevate their political platform; as well as allowing students who are living on campus to sign up for a voter’s card. This gives students in residence a chance to vote on

campus, a privilege that was not given to individuals who lived in residence in prior years. The voter registration occurred prior to the candidate’s debate at UTM. These major events were well-planned thanks to UTSU and UTMSU, who worked around the clock to inform students through events and info sessions about the upcoming provincial and referendum election. A students’ vote is certainly important when deciding who voices the issues of the students. The discussion panel for the MMP presentation on the evening of Thursday October 3rd 2007, included Mark Greenan, a student campaign coordinator for the Vote for MMP; Terry Downey, the executive vice-president of the Ontario Federation of Labour -these two individuals who are for the MMP. They both discussed the importance of voting for the MMP, repeating throughout the presentation that this new voting system will allow all the votes to be counted. If this is achieved a new window opens

October 11 2007 Vol. XXX No. VI

in the way politicians are chosen to represent the community, and will also likely see higher levels of women and diverse ethnic groups entering politics. This will allow the community to be represented by an individual who best suits the position, taking community issues that need to be resolved on to a provincial and national scale. The opposing viewpoint came from a UTM Political Science Professor, Dr. Mark Yaniszewski. He came out to the presentation to present on behalf of the organization “No MMP”. He raised a counter argument against the MMP that in the end it would not be successful and the voter turnout will continue at low numbers. On October 10th, the decision to vote for an individual and the MMP will be based on the population who came to know their candidates by attending debates, collecting flyers and reading up on them on-line. They will know about the importance of the MMP, neither voting for or against it. So, at the very least, remember to make your voice heard.

the newspaper Pops Their Cherry

pg. 2 Timathy Ryan Announces the Winners

pg. 3 Jesus and a Dinosaur Enter the Octogon Finally

pg. 4 Dirty Dirty Pornography

pg. 8 Photo by Evan Jordan

The Obama Effect: Victoria Hattam Lectures @ Victoria College By Scott Rennie On September 26th, several of the university’s academic associations collaborated to host American political scientist Victoria Hattam’s presentation and discussion, “Barack Obama: Reconfiguring Race and Immigration Politics in the United States”, at the Munk Centre. Dr. Hattam’s latest research, as presented in her new book Shadow of Race, pertains to how the terms ‘race’ and ‘ethnicity’ have

historically been interpreted as having separate meanings by both American politicians and citizens alike. Race has been historically thought to be a permanent, unchangeable feature, whereas ethnic qualities are those more likely to be assimilated and related to things such as customs, culture, and religion. Hattam is using Illinois Senator Barack Obama’s

candidacy for the Democratic

“...in 2012 or 2016 Obama may be only one of many multiracial candidates.” nomination for president as a lens through which to study

the difference between race and ethnicity in contemporary times. For Hattam, the Obama candidacy represents a great opportunity for race-relations in America. As a multi-racial American, Obama straddles the divide between black and white, as well as immigrant and native, which could lead to a recalibration of the idea of an American identity. Obama’s significance

lies in the fact that he challenges the ‘white-black’ binary that has existed for so long in American politics. The African-American identity for example, has historically held the connotation of descence from white-owned slaves. Obama is ‘AfricanAmerican’, but his African ancestry comes from his biological father who is Kenyan, and met his Kansas-born mother while See Obama cont. pg. 3

Moustaches, Haircuts and Tattoos By Aileen Burns

Victims of the Moustache Ride

Those of us who were lucky enough to get a ride to the Fastwürms opening on the Performance Bus last Wednesday underwent a hilarious transformation on route. Artist Katie Bethune-Leaman initiated a playful, yet slightly unnerving, project that involved gluing a false moustache to the lip of every man, woman and child on the bus. The ladies come cowboy staff of Moustache Ride walked up and down the aisle of the bus to moustache inspired tunes by the likes of

Queen. Each rider chose their moustache of preference from a menu card, allowing themselves to be transformed into cowboys, villains and friendly uncles in the process. Once the Moustache Riders arrived at Fastwürms DONKY@NINJA@WITCH they entered a vibrant, magical realm where witches offered them haircuts and tattoos. During their summer residency at the Art Gallery of York University, the Fastwürms transformed the gallery into an intense environment overflowing with witch-

craft imagery, bizarre objects which get the imagination running, and a whimsical kung-fu inspired video of witches and ninjas tearing it up on the darkened streets of Venice. Katie Bethune-Leaman and the Fastwürms got everyone involved, creating an incredible buzz of laughter, and fascination. Although you may have missed your chance at seeing yourself with a moustache, you can catch the Fastwürms installation at the Art Gallery of York University until December 9th.


11 October 2007

2 the newspaper

Popping my Cherry Letters to the editor at The Rocky Horror Picture Show RE: “Afghanistan Debate” By Nicole Frangos

While waiting in line to get into the Bloor Cinema, at 11 pm on a Friday night, I overheard two young fans debating whether to take acid or mushrooms prior to the show. It was at this exact moment that I knew I was in for a crazy evening. (For those of you wondering, acid won). Up until that point, I was a “Rocky Horror Virgin“-a term that the MC for the evening used for those of us who were lame and had never seen the show before. Cultish is a required adjective for any mention of RHPS: the fans dress up in elaborate costumes to mimic the characters; every single person in the theatre (minus us virgins, of course) exploded with screams toward the screen to show that they all knew every scene and line by heart; and the extremely late hour of the screening proposes the idea that, in order for so many people to willfully attend, they would all have to be obsessed with the movie. I’m sure many of you readers have experienced the RHPS live and, if your first time was anything like mine, you spent the evening in awe of the bizarre film, scantily-clad live actors, and the overall chaos. And you also probably felt quite out of the loop, as I did. A fantastic and talented shadow cast mimed the actions of the characters onscreen, while adding some extra touches of their own. I particularly enjoyed a live scene where the actors used the deceiving effect of a sheet and flashlight in order to present some extraordinarily lewd, and hilarious, sexual actions. There was not a silence that lasted for more than about 30 seconds- the crowd frequently yelled various profanities at the screen in unison. The yelling was a bit too intense for me, though, but I’m sure it was mostly because I was a virgin who was straining to hear the dialogue. My friend, on the other hand, was concerned about her hearing once we exited the theatre. I sat in the middle of the second row, which meant that I got wet several times, one of which was by water that was spat out by a cast member after mimicking a certain sexual act. I couldn’t duck fast enough for that one. Apparently, this show was a warm-up for the Halloween performance, which is supposed to be quite the event. Nevertheless, the Excited Mental State Shadow Cast performed this “warm-up” with extraordinary passion and a spirit of debauchery perfectly in sync with the film. It was 2 hours of absolute pleasure.

the newspaper Editor-in-Chief Sean Liliani

Managing Editor Joe Zabukovec

News Editor Steven Borowiec

Arts Editor Niya Bajaj

Associate Editors Shannon Thorndyke, Timothy Ryan

Art Director Brendan Keen

Copy Editor Rehaana Manek

To the Editor: As someone who attended the Afghanistan event organized by the NMCSU, I find its coverage in the newspaper to be appallingly misleading. Homayon Rastgar, the "small and nervous man," gave a nuanced and informed account of the current situation in Afghanistan. He gave a historical overview of the situation of the country from the Soviet occupation to the current NATO occupation. His point was that foreign occupation is not in the best interests of Afghanis -- be it "communist" or "capitalist" in ideology. Homayon's analysis of the situation was that the NATO troops in Afghanistan are fighting a losing battle against a resurgent Taliban. NATO's indiscriminate bombings and several "mistaken" killings have led to deep resentment against large segments of the Afghani population. As an example of this, he showed videos made by women in Afghanistan decrying the occupation -- the so-called "communist" propaganda. NATO officials and contractors have been making great amounts of money from Afghanistan. The Taliban has capitalized on the resentment of Afghanis. However, Homayon was quite explicit in pointing out that many Afghanis even appreciate NATO's occupation. Yet the majority of the population seems to be against occupation. He also showed the audience a video he made interviewing several Afghanis throughout the Kabul area. Homayon argued that an indigenous homegrown resistance, by the people -- the farmers, the workers and students -- against both the elite warlords currently in government as well as the dogmatic Taliban is the way forward for Afghanistan. The capacity crowd may have gone through some attrition, but I doubt it was because people didn't want to "waste their time" (maybe they had homework?) -- as evidenced by the vigorous and extended Q&A session. Reading the account given in the newspaper, I had to wonder whether or not I actually attended the same event as the ideologically tunnel-visioned writer. Noaman Ali To the Editor: While most students turn to the newspaper for an alternative view to the mainstream Varsity, last week's edition was a disappointment. Victor Rohm's review on the Afghanistan event organized by the NMCSU was misleading and immature to say the least. Rohm clearly has a skewed view of the event and it is important to clarify this for the newspaper's readers and provide an accurate version of the event. First of all, Rohm's article loses its legitimacy beginning with the title, where he misspells AFGHANISTAN as "AFGANISTAN". It thus becomes clear to the reader that not enough precision was employed in writing this article. The inaccuracies are heightened when Rohm displays his lack of memory of this event in stating the Q&A came before the "amateur communist propaganda video". This brings me to the major crux of his inaccuracies. The article proves to be lacking in substance as the author engages in an incoherent rant about the event. He uses loaded adjectives to sensationalize the content of the event using petty observations with no validity. Not only is the speaker of the event disrespectfully referred to as "a small and nervous man", but he is also accused of "fabricating information". I must ask where Rohm gathered this material, because sourcing your information is part of responsible journalism. Rohm's article is reminiscent of the McCarthy Era where reactionaries would unleash anti-communist propaganda in order to protect the interest of the status quo. This article is no doubt a typical response to any free and critical thought that exists on our campus.

BEER • WINGS • POOL • JAVA SPORTS • JUKEBOX • SPIRITS EVENTS • OPEN STAGE • GAMES

Serving up a good time Every time since 9T6!

Weekly Events: Man vs. Martini MONDAYS Toonie TUESDAYS Open Mike WEDNESDAYS NOW PODCASTING (from our website)

Thirsty THURSDAYS TGIF! (Thank Guinness it’s Friday)

FRIDAYS Live Music SATURDAYS Free Pool & Comedy SUNDAYS PODCASTING AS HOGTOWNCOMEDYRADIO (from our website)

All Day Breakfast and Canadian Tire Money at par every weekend! Game Room with plasma available for groups

Arabhi N. the newspaper erred in the spelling of “Afghanistan” last week. We would like to issue an apology to anyone who is from Afghanistan, knows people from Afghanistan, would one day like to travel to Afghanistan, or is easily offended in general.

FREE WIRELESS INTERNET PROVIDED BY:

Contributors Alan Osadetz, Amanda Campbell, Shannon Wheeler, Stephen Notley, Mayssia Elajami, Scott Rennie, Aileen Burns

229 COLLEGE STREET 1 Spadina Crescent, Suite 245 Toronto, Ontario, M5S 1A1

editorial:(416) 593-1552 fax: (416) 593-0552 www.thenewspaper.ca

416/59•STEIN WWW.EIN-STEIN.CA


13 September 2007

the newspaper 3

the science Timothy Ryan Personally Announces the Nobel Prize Recipients The last three days have produced this year’s science Nobel Prize recipients in the fields of medicine, physics, physiology or medicine, literature, and peace administered by the Nobel Foundation in Stockholm, Sweden. Except for the economics prize, they have been awarded annually since 1901 in Stockholm on December 10th of each year, the calendar date of Alfred Nobel’s death. Each prize consists of a medal, personal diploma, and a serious cash award in excess of $1.5 million USD. Medicine Recipients: Mario Capecchi, US; Oliver Smithies, US, and Sir Martin Evans, GB. What they did: They engineered a technique called gene targeting. The root cause of many mammalian diseases is mutations in genes that code for proteins in the body. These three devised a way to introduce genetic changes in the DNA of stem cells which they later injected into growing embryos. The mice born from these embryos were bred with others, to produce offspring with altered genes. The result is offspring which harbour the defective gene and thus expresses the symptoms of the potential disease being studied. The first mice with

genes manipulated using these techniques were announced in 1989. Since then, more than 10,000 different genes in mice have been studied with the technique, which is about half the genes the rodents have. This technique has invaded every field of biomedical study and is now essential in the study of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, cystic fibrosis and many other diseases. Physics Recipients: Albert Fert, France; Peter Gruenberg, Germany What they did These two discovered a phenomenon called giant magnetoresistance. The theory is that more information can be crammed onto hard disks by shrinking the size of the magnetic areas where the individual bits of data are stored in the form of binary 1s and 0s. When this thinking was put into practice, the smaller magnetic areas produced weaker shifts in magnetism, meaning changes in electrical resistance become too faint to be detected by conventional technology. By alternating ultrathin layers of magnetic and non-magnetic material, Fert and Gruenberg produced a giant magnetoresistance which greatly boosted this weak electrical signal. Their innovative lab technique was quickly

adapted for mass production and the first disk-reading device based on GMR appeared on the market in 1997. The principle is prevalent these days in today’s technology driven world; it is the driving force behind small laptops and iPod’s the size of your thumb. Chemistry Recipient: Gerhard Ertl, Germany What he did: Ertl revolutionized surface chemistry, a once very difficult field to attain reliable results. Ertl utilized processes developed in the semiconductor industry to create a methodology for surface chemistry by demonstrating how different experimental procedures can be used to provide a complete picture of a surface reaction. His work is important because is elucidates facets of chemical reactions on catalytic surfaces and how they play a vital role in many industrial operations, such as the production of artificial fertilizers. Surface chemistry can even explain the destruction of the ozone layer, as vital steps in the reaction actually take place on the surfaces of small crystals of ice in the stratosphere.

Obama cont. from pg. 1 they were both studying in Hawaii. So while political commentators and strategists will no doubt attempt to frame the Obama candidacy in the discourse of being “black-enough” or “white-enough”, that is just the tip of a cultural iceberg that will change the characteristics required of who can win over the electorates of Western democracies. Is Barack Obama the ‘black candidate’ in 2008? Sure. But in 2012 or 2016 Obama may be only one of many multiracial candidates. Hattam scoffed at a question that suggested the defeat of Obama in 2008 means a defeat of pluralism and tolerance in America, because as she says the movement is at its brink. This was the most important lesson of Professor Hattam’s presentation – changes are indeed on the way in American politics, and they do not necessarily hinge on Obama-mania. But it’s a shame that so many

might have missed it. Although the conference room was quite full at the beginning of the event, attendees began flocking out the door long before the speaker’s time was up. It was peculiar, because the strength shared by so many University of Toronto students is their ability to persevere through the dullest lectures imaginable. Yet this stamina was not evident this night, during a talk that was certainly not dull. There are so many frustrations and competing priorities that impede every undergraduate’s educational experience, but there are also instances where we learn pertinent information that actually changes the way we consider how the world works. Hattam’s presentation last Wednesday offered one of those instances, and it’s unfortunate students and professors alike who skipped out on the event early might not have experienced that.


11 October 2007 write-off On This Side Of The Page... On This Side Of The Page... Christine Street Has Timothy Ryan Sides with the Jesus’ Back Dinosaurs

4 the newspaper

explain the origins of all life. The first law of thermodynamics is currently more undisputed than the theory of evolution has ever been. While this law tells us that the universe’s sum total of energy and matter is always a constant, evolution does nothing to explain how this energy was first created. Another big question mark that towers over evolution is the sudden influx of complex specimens found in Cambrian era fossils. While evolutionists speculate that the intricate species from this era took a billion and a half years to evolve, lack of fossils from the preCambrian era pose one

absurd in the highest degree”. Where evolution takes a severe blow is with the lack of evidence for transformative development of one species into another. While the theory presupposes that all species come from a common ancestor, there is no concrete fossil evidence demonstrating the missing links between fish and amphibians, or reptiles and birds. While we are only scratching the surface of all that questions evolution, an important point emerges; while evolution is now commonplace in the classroom, it is indoctrinating our children with a very specific way

Eccentric, atheist, factbending scientists vs. bible-thumping, gospel singing, literal interpreters of the bible. It’s a debate that still rages on today from the heartland of Christian America to this very city we call home. As a scientist, I support the theory of evolution and my intent is not to forcefeed you my beliefs; it is simply to present indisputable facts and let you decide for yourself. The strict biological definition of evolution is the change in the frequency of an allele (gene) over time. It is the idea that genes mutate and some mutations are selected to help the next generation of a species better adapt

includes undeniable evidence of the mechanisms -like mutation, natural selection, and genetic driftwhich goes a long way towards explaining how life evolved. The physical evidence for evolution begins not only with our working genetic code (DNA) but with our changing DNA. It has been directly observed that DNA is subject to mutation and that these mutations can alter the phenotype (the product of a gene, i.e. eye colour) of an individual. All living organisms have in common that they possess genetic material which is subject to these mechanisms of change and we understand that

of the biggest scientific mysteries known to man. Many critics of natural selection complain that random mutations do not account for the complexity of the species we see on earth. Even Darwin was bewildered by the alleged power of evolution, saying things like “to suppose that the eye… could have been formed by natural selection seems

of viewing the world. Seeing as our own scientific community has not proven this theory, it seems inappropriate that we do not teach evolution with a critical approach. Rather than push an atheistic view that completely discounts the possibility of a creator, we should introduce an agnostic perspective that admits we don’t have all the answers.

to their environment and reproduce with higher efficiency. By this definition, evolution is certain fact. However, most people correlate evolution with common descent, the idea that all life arose from one ancestor. Common descent is only a small fraction of the theory of evolution. The theory of evolution not only says that life evolved, it also

the characteristics of an organism are determined by its genetic code. Genes are what make an organism what it is. These facts, that DNA determines the nature of an organism and that there are mechanisms through which DNA can be modified, are the basis of evolution. It is through these facts that evolution occurs. Now, given that

Illustration by Stephanie Kervin

Like the shores of the Red Sea, there is an increasing separation amongst the banks of human thought. Unlike Moses’ miraculous passageway however, this parting of ways is not getting anybody anywhere. The xenophobic relationship between creationists and evolutionary biologists has created a chasm that is void of dialogue, understanding and, most importantly, progress. In recent news, provincial PC leader John Tory was pressured into publicly clarifying his proclamation that “it’s still called the theory of evolution”. Over concerns that there might be an utterance of creationist thought in public classrooms, Tory had to clarify that opposing views to the theory of evolution would only be taught in Catholic schools. The knee-jerk reaction against anything that might resemble faith in the public domain is part of a secularist fear of the religious right. Because creationism is frequently associated with its most extreme proponents, secular society fears that allowing a dialogue will open the door for an army of religious zealots. The unfortunate consequence of this polarized debate is that the theory of evolution is not rigorously challenged within the scientific community; scientists shy away from discussing the flaws of evolution in fear that these conversations might lend credence to creationism. While the theory of evolution is taught as fact in the public school system, it should not be completely exempt from criticism just because some of its dissenting opinions happen to be faith based. The fact is that evolution leaves many questions unanswered. We should not omit these discussions from our public education systems simply because of the spiritual conclusions that may be drawn from such scientific conundrums. An aspect of evolution widely acknowledged but scarcely discussed is how it fails to

DNA makes the organism what it is and DNA is subject to change it seems reasonable that, through successive changes that are passed to successive generations of offspring, large-scale change in genetic code can occur over time. The only way this would not make sense is if some mechanism were identified which would prevent such an accumulation of genetic changes from happening. No such mechanism is known. So, we have DNA encoding the characteristics of a life form, a mechanism for this code to be changed, no known mechanism to definitively limit the amount of changes that can take place, and vast time for change to occur. This very basis of evolution and genetics supports the idea that common descent is at least possible. The physical evidence for creationism is the bible. Yeah… In doing my research I thought creationists may have some sort of physical, visual evidence, perhaps a tape recording of God brainstorming his plan for Adam and Eve on the Sixth day -anything really. But creationists attempt to validate their theory only by disproving evolutionism and nothing more. Their main claim to fame is a lack of transitional fossils. This position is based on a misunderstanding of the nature of what represents a transitional feature; that no fossils are found with partially functional features. It is plausible, however, that a complex feature with one function can adapt a wholly different function through evolution. The precursor to, for example, a wing, might originally have only been meant for gliding, trapping flying prey, and/or a mating display. Today, wings can still have all of these functions, but they are also used in active flight. Take that Jesus.

Log on to www.thenewspaper.ca to vote for the winner. Come back next week for the results!


13 September 2007

Weirdsville

the newspaper 5

C+

friendships and Matty quite intact. As with all of Moyle’s films, the soundtrack makes the movie -be it the endearing refrain of ‘Struggle, Struggle’, or Taryn Manning’s crooning. These, in conjunction with his oddball Canadian cast, make it comfortingly clear that if you sticks with your friends, your ideals remain true and nothing the universe can throw at you is really that daunting. In the end things do work out, and dreams, no matter how strange, can come true -even in backwoods towns, like Weirdsville.

Directed by: Allan Moyle Starring: Wes Bentley, Joey Beck, Raoul Bhaneja, Scott Speedman It is difficult to be ambivalent about Allan Moyle’s films and Weirdsville, which opens on Friday, is no different. The themes of this film are based strongly on the importance of friendship, loyalty and the importance of being true to yourself and your visions. And there are plenty of visions in the ninety minutes the audience spends with Dex (Scott Speedman) and Royce (Wes Bentley). The two heroin addicts reside in Weedsville, fittingly nicknamed “Weirdsville”, somewhere in Northern Ontario. While the opening premise is simple enough, Royce, the idea man of the two, decides to settle the pair’s debt with Omar (Raoul Bhaneja) by pushing drugs. Obvious complications arise when his girlfriend and part time stripper Matty (Taryn Manning) overdoses and dies. Hilarity, shock, trauma and a fair bit of destruction ensue as the pair attempt to bury their dearest friend. They run into, and escape from, a back-

www.uc.utoronto.ca

woods Satanic cult only to be hotly pursued. A group of mercenary dwarves, the founders of the local New Age centre and a trust fund junkie aid their escape. The drug-fueled flashbacks that provide narrative background are combined with “inspired” ideas and desperate antics; these range from breaking and entering, to the desecration of lawn ornaments, to attempted drowning in shallow hot tubs, but they somehow maintain a feeling of camaraderie. This makes it easier to empathize with the often-mis-

guided pair who rarely think things through, but with some assistance from well meaning

bystanders and fortunate coincidences they manage to make it out alive with their feelings,

Niya Bajaj


Illustration by Yoojin Guak

6 the newspaper

the jock talk

by Alan Osadetz

The Grind So, it’s getting to be the time of year when the amount of schoolwork you do is increasing drastically. The much anticipated midterm exams are on the horizon, and if you go to OCAD the big finger-painting-of-yourfavorite-animal project is due in the coming week. This time proves to be extremely stressful for most students due to the shocking transition from summer time to intense school work. In this edition of Jock Talk I will discuss some ways to cope with the mental anguish most students experience this time of year. It’s a little known fact that I am actually a psychology minor, and in my spare time I do a considerable amount of research and testing in the areas of mental per-

formance and memory development. My interest in this area evolved after I had some serious letdowns and wanted to improve my mental performance. I constantly experienced real difficulty remembering whether or not girls I met while I was drunk were hot. Less importantly, I have always had difficulty remembering their names. However, what led to the majority of my problems was my tendency to forget what name, occupation, and foreign accent I had made up while introducing myself. These debilitating conditions led me to partake in an extensive brain-stimulating program, which I made up one time while I was doing military press. Initially, improving your memory starts

with staying up later to get some extra sets of preacher curls happening. Don’t worry about the reduced amount of sleep you are getting, because by staying up later you are, in fact, training your brain to be sharper. As your biceps start to gain mass it will increase blood flow to the ubdula omgata, simultaneously increasing the rate at which you remember facts and concepts. Diet is also very important to mental function. Instead of filling up on vegetables, which contain absolutely no protein, have a shake instead. Make sure you don’t mix it with any fruit or yogourt, or anything with vitamins whatsoever. My best friend/workout partner who works at GNC told me about a new weight gainer which has an additive to increase your IQ. I believe it’s called FlexGain IQ+ and costs $295 for a one month supply. It’s been a solid investment for me so far. Keep in mind that the ultimate goal is to gain as much lean muscle, and therefore brain power, as possible. Just look at one of the greatest intellects of our time – Arnold Schwarzenegger. He was able to convince the viciously sharp-witted voters of California that he wasn’t a Nazi, that his accent wasn’t foreign, and that he was simply from the mid-West. Do you honestly think he got smart by reading and doing math problems? I rest my case.


13 September 2007

the newspaper 7

LKJLÛ9LCC<K@E LE@M<IJ@KPÛF=ÛKFIFEKFÛJKL;<EKJ¿ÛLE@FE CF:8Cۆ…ÛÝÛ:8E8;@8EÛ=<;<I8K@FEÛF=ÛJKL;<EKJ 1°/°-°1°Ê-Ì°ÊiœÀ}iÊUÊ£ÓÊ>ÀÌÊœÕÃiÊ ˆÀVi /i\Ê{£È‡™Çn‡{™££ÊUÊ “>ˆ\ÊvÀœ˜Ì`iÎJÕÌÃÕ°V>

1°/°-°1°Ê1/ÊUÊ-ÌÕ`i˜ÌÊ i˜ÌÀiÊ,œœ“Ê££x /i\ʙäx‡nÓn‡x{™{ÊUÊ “>ˆ\ÊÕ̓JÕÌÃÕ°V>

NNNLKJL:8 F:KF9<IÛ~~•Û‡‡„

JK8E;ÛLGÛ=FIÛPFLIÛ JKL;<EKÛ:FDDFEJ

LKJLÛJ<IM@:<J

9œÕÀÊÃÌÕ`i˜ÌýÊ՘ˆœ˜Ê…>ÃÊLii˜Ê>`ۜV>̈˜}ÊvœÀÊ>Ê-ÌÕ`i˜ÌÊ œ““œ˜ÃÊv>VˆˆÌÞʜ˜Ê̅iÊ-Ì°ÊiœÀ}iÊ

>“«ÕÃÊȘViÊ̅iÊ£™ÈäðÊ7iʘii`Ê>Êë>ViÊvœÀÊÃÌÕ`i˜ÌÃ]Ê}œÛiÀ˜i`ÊLÞÊÃÌÕ`i˜Ìð

/…>˜ŽÊޜÕÊ̜Ê>Ê̅>ÌÊ«>À̈Vˆ«>Ìi`ʈ˜Ê̅iÊ œœŽÊ ÝV…>˜}iʜ˜Ê ̅iÊ-Ì°ÊiœÀ}iÊV>“«ÕðÊ*i>ÃiÊ«ˆVŽÊÕ«ÊޜÕÀÊV…iµÕiʜÀÊ՘܏`Ê LœœŽÃÊ>ÌÊ̅iÊ iÜÊ œi}iÊ,iÈ`i˜ViÊ­{xÊ7ˆVœVŽÃÊ-ÌÀii̮ʈ˜Ê ̅iÊ-̜˜iÊœLLÞÊvÀœ“Ê"V̜LiÀÊÓÓÊ̜ÊÓÈÊLiÌÜii˜Ê££\ääÊ>“Ê >˜`Êx\ääÊ«“°Ê œœŽÃÊ̅>ÌÊ>ÀiʘœÌÊÀiÌÀˆiÛi`ÊLÞÊ"V̜LiÀÊÓÈÊ>ÌÊ x\ääÊ«“Ê܈ÊLiVœ“iÊ̅iÊ«Àœ«iÀÌÞʜvÊ̅iÊ1˜ˆÛiÀÈÌÞʜvÊ/œÀœ˜ÌœÊ -ÌÕ`i˜ÌÃ½Ê 1˜ˆœ˜°Ê 1/Ê V>“«ÕÃÊ ˆ˜vœÀ“>̈œ˜Ê ˆÃÊ >Û>ˆ>LiÊ vÀœ“Ê 1°/°-°1°½ÃʜvwÊViʏœV>Ìi`ʈ˜Ê̅iÊ1/Ê-ÌÕ`i˜ÌÊ i˜ÌÀiʜÀʜ˜ˆ˜iÊ >ÌÊÜÜÜ°ÕÌÃÕ°V>°

Ê -ÌÕ`i˜ÌÊ œ““œ˜ÃÊ ÜœÕ`Ê VÀi>ÌiÊ Ã«>ViÊ vœÀ\Ê V…i>«]Ê >vvœÀ`>LiÊ >˜`Ê `ˆÛiÀÃiÊ vœœ`Ê œ«Ìˆœ˜ÃÆÊ >Ê ÃÌÕ`i˜Ì‡À՘ÊVœvviiÊŜ«ÆʏœÕ˜}ˆ˜}Êë>ViÊvœÀÊ̅œÃiʅ>À`Ê`>ÞÃÊÜÀˆÌˆ˜}Ê«>«iÀÃÊ>˜`ÊÃÌÕ`ވ˜}ÊvœÀÊ iÝ>“ÃÆʓœÀiÊ«À>ÞiÀÊë>ViÆÊÀi…i>ÀÃ>Êë>ViÆÊ`iÈ}˜Êë>ViÆÊLˆŽiÊÀi«>ˆÀÊë>ViÆÊLœ>À`Àœœ“ÃÊ>˜`Ê “iï˜}Êë>ViÆÊ>˜`]ÊVÕLÊ>˜`ʏiÛÞÊ}ÀœÕ«ÊœvwÊViðÊ-ÌÕ`i˜ÌÃÊܜՏ`ÊLiÊ>LiÊ̜ÊLœœŽÊÀœœ“ÃÊvœÀÊ vÀiiÊ>˜`ʅ>ÛiÊ«ÀˆœÀˆÌÞ° -ÌÕ`i˜ÌÊë>ViÊܜՏ`ÊLiÊ>˜Ê>VViÃÈLiÊë>Vi°ÊÌÊܜՏ`Ê>ÃœÊLiÊ>Ê ‡ViÀ̈wÊi`Êë>Vi°Ê-ÌÕ`i˜ÌÊ Ã«>ViÊqÊ>Ê«>ViʜvʜÕÀʜܘÊqÊܜՏ`ÊLiÊ«ÀœÌiVÌi`ÊvÀœ“Ê̅iÊiÝ«>˜Ãˆœ˜ÊœvÊ«ÀˆÛ>ÌiÊ>˜`ÊvœÀ‡«ÀœwÊÌÊ ˆ˜ÌiÀiÃÌð -Ì°ÊiœÀ}iʈÃÊ̅iʜ˜ÞÊV>“«ÕÃʈ˜Ê"˜Ì>ÀˆœÊ>VŽˆ˜}ÊÃÕV…Ê>˜ÊiÃÃi˜Ìˆ>Ê«>ViÊvœÀÊÃÌÕ`i˜ÌʏˆviÊ>˜`Ê ˆÌʅ>ÃÊ`iwʘˆÌiÞÊŜܘ°Ê"ÕÀÊ՘ˆÛiÀÈÌÞʅ>ÃÊÌÀ>`ˆÌˆœ˜>ÞÊÀ>˜Ži`ÊÛiÀÞʏœÜʈ˜ÊÃÕÀÛiÞÃʓi>ÃÕÀˆ˜}Ê ÃÌÕ`i˜ÌÊiÝ«iÀˆi˜Vi° /…iÊÃÌÕ`i˜ÌÃʅ>ÛiÊ뜎i˜°Ê˜ÊÓääx]ÊÃÌÕ`i˜ÌÃÊۜÌi`ʈ˜Ê>Ê«iLˆÃVˆÌiʈ˜Êv>ۜÕÀʜvÊLՈ`ˆ˜}Ê>Ê-ÌՇ `i˜ÌÊ œ““œ˜Ã°Ê/…iÊ1˜ˆÛiÀÈÌÞÊÀi뜘`i`Ê>˜`ʅ>Ãʓ>`iÊ̅iÊ-ÌÕ`i˜ÌÊ œ““œ˜ÃÊ>Ê«ÀˆœÀˆÌÞÊvœÀÊ Ì…ˆÃÊÞi>À°Ê/…ˆÃʈÃÊ>Ê«…i˜œ“i˜>Ê>˜`ʅˆÃ̜ÀˆVʜ««œÀÌ՘ˆÌÞʜ˜ÊœÕÀÊV>“«ÕðÊ/œ}i̅iÀ]ÊÜiÊV>˜ÊVÀi>ÌiÊ Ã«>ViÊvœÀÊÃÌÕ`i˜ÌÃ]ʜ«iÀ>Ìi`ÊLÞÊÃÌÕ`i˜Ìð 7iʘii`ÊޜÕÀʅi«Ê>˜`ʈ˜«ÕÌÊvœÀÊ̅ˆÃÊ«ÀœiVÌÊ̜ÊLiÊLœÌ…ÊÃÕVViÃÃvՏÊ>˜`ÊܜÀ̅܅ˆi°Ê ‡“>ˆÊ̅iÊ 6ˆVi‡*ÀiÈ`i˜ÌÊ1˜ˆÛiÀÈÌÞÊvv>ˆÀÃÊ̜ÊÅ>ÀiÊޜÕÀÊ̅œÕ}…ÌÃʜ˜Ê̅ˆÃÊ«ÀœiVÌʜÀÊ̜ʜvviÀÊޜÕÀʅi«Êˆ˜Ê Vœ˜ÌÀˆLṎ˜}Ê̜Ê̅ˆÃʅˆÃ̜ÀˆVÊ̈“iÊ>ÌÊ̅iÊ1˜ˆÛiÀÈÌÞʜvÊ/œÀœ˜Ìœ½ÃÊ-Ì°ÊiœÀ}iÊV>“«ÕÃ\ʓˆV…>JÕÌÃÕ°V>

LKJLÛ9P¤<C<:K@FEJÛ 8E;ÛI<=<I<E;8 ˜vœÀ“>̈œ˜Ê >LœÕÌÊ Ì…iÊ v>Ê ÓääÇÊ 1°/°-°1°Ê LއiiV̈œ˜ÃÊ >˜`Ê ÀiviÀi˜`>Ê ˆÃÊ ˜œÜÊ «œÃÌi`Ê œ˜Ê ̅iÊ 1°/°-°1°ÊÜiLÈÌiÊ­ÜÜÜ°ÕÌÃÕ°V>®Ê>˜`ʈÃÊLiˆ˜}ÊÕ«`>Ìi`ÊÀi}Տ>ÀÞ°ÊœÀʓœÀiʈ˜vœÀ“>̈œ˜]ÊVœ˜Ì>VÌÊ Ì…iÊ1°/°-°1°Ê …ˆivÊ,iÌÕÀ˜ˆ˜}Ê"vwÊViÀÊ­VÀœJÕÌÃÕ°V>®ÊœÀÊ1°/°-°1°½ÃÊ …>ˆÀʜvÊ̅iÊ iV̈œ˜ÃÊ>˜`Ê,iviÀ‡ i˜`>Ê œ““ˆÌÌiiÊ­iÀVJÕÌÃÕ°V>®° *i>ÃiʘœÌiÊ̅>ÌʜvwÊVˆ>Ê˜œÌˆViʜvÊÀiviÀi˜`>Ê­ˆ˜VÕ`ˆ˜}\Êۜ̈˜}Ê̈“iÃ]Ê`>ÌiÃÊ>˜`ʏœV>̈œ˜ÃÆÊ«Àœ‡ «œÃi`ÊÀi܏Ṏœ˜ÃʜvÊ̅iÊÀiviÀi˜`>ÆÊ>˜`]Ê>˜ÞÊëiVˆ>ÊÀi܏Ṏœ˜ÃÊ̜ÊLiÊVœ˜Ãˆ`iÀi`ʈ˜Ê̅iÊÀiviÀ‡ i˜`>®Ê܈ÊLiÊ«œÃÌi`ʜ˜Ê̅iÊ1°/°-°1°ÊÜiLÈÌiʜ˜Ê/ÕiÃ`>Þ]Ê"V̜LiÀÊ£È°Ê œÌˆViÊ܈Ê>ÃœÊ>««i>Àʈ˜Ê V>“«ÕÃʘiÜë>«iÀÃʈ˜VÕ`ˆ˜}Ê/…iÊ iÜë>«iÀÊ>˜`Ê/…iÊ6>ÀÈÌÞ°

""Ê 8  

"" Ê Ê "/ Ê   -ÌÕ`i˜ÌÃʓ>ÞÊ>VViÃÃÊ>Ê1°/°-°1°‡Ã«œ˜ÃœÀi`Êœœ`Ê>˜`Ê œÌ…ˆ˜}Ê >˜ŽÊœ˜Ê̅iÊ-Ì°ÊiœÀ}iÊV>“«ÕÃÊiÛiÀÞÊÀˆ`>Þ]ÊLiÌÜii˜Ê£Ó\ääÊ >˜`ÊÎ\ääÊ«“]ʈ˜Ê,œœ“ÊxäʜvÊ iÜÊ œi}i½ÃÊ7i̓œÀiÊ>° Ãœ]Ê «i>ÃiÊ œˆ˜Ê ÕÃÊ œ˜Ê 7i`˜iÃ`>Þ]Ê iVi“LiÀÊ xÊ >ÌÊ >ÀÌÊ œÕÃiÊvœÀÊ̅iÊÈÝ̅Ê>˜˜Õ>ÊÀi>`ˆ˜}ʜvÊÊ …ÀˆÃ̓>ÃÊ >Àœ°ÊÊ «ÀœVii`ÃÊ܈ÊLiÊ`œ˜>Ìi`Ê̜Ê̅iÊvœœ`Ê>˜`ÊVœÌ…ˆ˜}ÊL>˜Ž°

9 , Ê 1,-, /…iÊ 1°/°-°1°‡Ã«œ˜ÃœÀi`Ê œ>ÀÊ vœÀÊ >ÞV>ÀiÊ LÕÀÃ>ÀÞÊ >««ˆ‡ V>̈œ˜ÃÊ ÜˆÊ LiÊ >Û>ˆ>LiÊ Li}ˆ˜˜ˆ˜}Ê œ˜`>Þ]Ê "V̜LiÀÊ £xÊ >ÌÊ Û>ÀˆœÕÃʏœV>̈œ˜ÃÊ>VÀœÃÃÊV>“«ÕÃÊ>˜`ʜ˜Ê̅iÊ1°/°-°1°ÊÜiLÈÌiÊ ­ÜÜÜ°ÕÌÃÕ°V>®°Ê /…iÃiÊ LÕÀÃ>ÀˆiÃÊ >ÀiÊ >Ü>À`i`Ê ÌœÊ vՏ‡Ìˆ“iÊ >˜`Ê «>À̇̈“iÊ՘`iÀ}À>`Õ>ÌiÊÃÌÕ`i˜ÌÃÊ܈̅Êwʘ>˜Vˆ>Ê˜ii`ÊÀi>Ìi`Ê ÌœÊV…ˆ`V>ÀiÊiÝ«i˜ÃiðÊ1˜`iÀ}À>`Õ>Ìiʈ˜ÌiÀ˜>̈œ˜>ÊÃÌÕ`i˜ÌÃÊ ÜˆÌ…ÊV…ˆ`Ài˜Ê>ÀiÊ>ÃœÊiˆ}ˆLiÊ̜Ê>««Þ°  /Ê Ê /Ê* 1°/°-°1°Ê“i“LiÀÃ]ʈ˜VÕ`ˆ˜}ÊvՏ‡Ìˆ“iÊ՘`iÀ}À>`Õ>ÌiÊÃÌÕ`i˜ÌÃÊ >ÌÊ Ì…iÊ -Ì°Ê iœÀ}iÊ >˜`Ê 1/Ê V>“«ÕÃiÃ]Ê «>ÞÊ vœÀÊ …i>Ì…Ê >˜`Ê `i˜Ì>Ê«>˜ÃÊ>ÃÊ«>ÀÌʜvÊ̅iˆÀÊÃÌÕ`i˜ÌÊviiðÊvÊޜÕÊ>ÀiÊ>Ài>`ÞÊ VœÛiÀi`Ê Õ˜`iÀÊ >Ê «>Ài˜Ì½ÃÊ œÀÊ œÌ…iÀÊ «>˜]Ê ÞœÕÊ “>ÞÊ V…œœÃiÊ ÌœÊ …>ÛiÊ̅iʅi>Ì…Ê«>˜ÊviiÊÀiv՘`i`Ê̜ÊޜհÊ/…iÊ`i˜Ì>Ê«>˜ÊviiÊ ˆÃÊi˜ÌˆÀiÞʜ«Ìˆœ˜>Ê>˜`Ê>ÃœÊÀiv՘`>Li°Ê/…iÊ«ÀœViÃÃʜvÊ>««Þ‡ ˆ˜}ÊvœÀÊ>ÊÀiv՘`ʜvÊiˆÌ…iÀÊviiʈÃÊV>i`ʺœ«Ìˆ˜}ʜÕÌ°»Ê"«Ìˆ˜}Ê œÕÌʓi>˜ÃÊ̅>ÌÊޜÕÊ܈ÅÊ̜ÊvœÀ}œÊVœÛiÀ>}iÊ«ÀœÛˆ`i`ÊLÞÊ̅iÊ 1°/°-°1°Ê…i>Ì…Ê>˜`ɜÀÊ`i˜Ì>Ê«>˜­Ã®°Ê/…iÊ`i>`ˆ˜iÊvœÀʜ«Ìˆ˜}Ê œÕÌʈÃÊ"V̜LiÀÊ£Ó]ÊÓääÇ°Ê9œÕʓ>ÞÊ>««ÞÊ̜ʜ«Ì‡œÕÌʜ˜ˆ˜iÊۈ>Ê ÜÜÜ°…i>̅°V>ÉÃÌÕ`i˜ÌÃÊ­˜œÌi\Ê /]ʘœÌʅi>Ì…®°

*i>ÃiʘœÌiÊ̅>Ì]Ê>ÌÊ̅iÊ̈“iʜvÊ̅ˆÃÊ«ÕLˆV>̈œ˜]ʺ1˜ˆÛiÀÈÌÞʜvÊ/œÀœ˜ÌœÊ-ÌÕ`i˜ÌýÊ1˜ˆœ˜»Ê>˜`ɜÀʺ1°/°-°1°»Ê ÀiviÀÃÊ̜Ê̅iÊ-ÌÕ`i˜ÌýÊ`“ˆ˜ˆÃÌÀ>̈ÛiÊ œÕ˜VˆÊœvÊ̅iÊ1˜ˆÛiÀÈÌÞʜvÊ/œÀœ˜Ìœ]ʘV°Ê­º- »®°


8 the newspaper

backpage

the sticky stuff

by Shannon Thorndyke

11 October 2007

the déja vu photo contest

Sex, Love, and the Stuff that comes between… My name is Jennifer and I have been dating this guy for about 8 months. We usually take turns “spending the night” at each other’s apartments about 2-3 times per week. I have a key to his place and he also has one to mine. A few weeks ago after he left for class I was compelled to do a bit of snooping in his things. I am not sure what I was looking for but I found something very unexpected. His nearly overflowing box of pornography. It was really strange pornography to say the least. I haven’t said anything to him but I can’t stop thinking about it. Is this what he is expecting from me? I won’t say exactly what it was but it is/was REALLY gross stuff. -Jennifer Well Jen, I suppose the first thing that I should say is that “curiosity killed the cat”. You

were snooping and whatever you happened to find is not really yours to discuss with him. I understand that bizarre urge to sneak a little peak, for I my-

self have fallen prey. It is still wrong and you should be worrying more about intruding on your boyfriend’s private stuff and breaking his trust then anything. That aside, my interest is certainly piqued with “REALLY gross stuff”. You said that you have been together

This Week’s Problem

That’s it this week, still suffering from a turkey hangover… Send your sex and relationship questions to sex@thenewspaper.ca

tc oh e mics I’ll Sudoku You!

Last Week’s Solution

for 8 months and spend a fair amount of time together. If he hasn’t asked you to wear an adult baby costume or participate in a hardcore bondage session you may be in the clear. It is possible for people to have fantasies that remain just that -fantasy. This big box of dirty porn may be just that for him. He is able to explore his darker side without imposing his alternative desires on your seemingly peachy relationship. Let it go and leave it at that. I think that if you were going to be pulled down into darkness he would have already made his move.

Photo by... we can’t even tell you! You’ve seen it before, but you just can’t put your finger on it... If you can, e-mail the newspaper at thenewspaper@gmail.com -first correct answer gets a prize

Toothpaste for Dinner

Bob the Angry Flower

Drew

By Stephen Notley

Issue 6 - October 11 2007  

Dirty Dirty Pornography toronto’s student community paper www.thenewspaper.cawww.thenewspaper.ca “...in 2012 or 2016 Obama may be only one o...