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You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig. You want a guarantee, buy a toaster. Jasper: Your baby is the miracle the whole world has been waiting for. You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! I took a Viagra, got stuck in me throat, I've had a stiff neck for hours. You know, your bobby dangler, giggle stick, your general-two-colonels, master of ceremonies... Yeah, don't be shy, let's have a look. When I get back, remind to tell you about the time I took 100 nuns to Nairobi! At this point, I'd set you up with a chimpanzee if it'd brought you back to the world! Yes, I used a machine gun. Your were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. You know, your bobby dangler, giggle stick, your general-two-colonels, master of ceremonies... Yeah, don't be shy, let's have a look. This is the AK-47 assault rifle, the preferred weapon of your enemy; and it makes a distinctive sound when fired at you, so remember it. don't p!ss down my back and tell me it's raining. You are as precious to me as you were to your own mother and father. I swore to them that I would protect you, and I haven't. Here. Put that in your report!" AND "I may have found a way out of here. Are you feeling lucky punk I want to shoot the pigeons... off my roof. This is my gun, Clyde! Well, do you have anything to say for yourself? Your were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. Ever notice how sometimes you come across somebody you shouldn't have F**ked with? Well, I'm that guy. Well, do you have anything to say for yourself? Pull my finger! What you have to ask yourself is, do I feel lucky. Well do ya' punk? Are you feeling lucky punk Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy. It's not the size mate, it's how you use it. At this point, I'd set you up with a chimpanzee if it'd brought you back to the world! What you have to ask yourself is, do I feel lucky. Well do ya' punk? You want a guarantee, buy a toaster. Man's gotta know his limitations. When a naked man's chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he's not out collecting for the Red Cross. It's not the size mate, it's how you use it. Here. Put that in your report!" AND "I may have found a way out of here. When I get back, remind to tell you about the time I took 100 nuns to Nairobi! Jasper: Your baby is the miracle the whole world has been waiting for. Man's gotta know his limitations. You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig. I took a Viagra, got stuck in me throat, I've had a stiff neck for hours. You wouldn't hit a man with no trousers on, would you? don't p!ss down my back and tell me it's raining. You wouldn't hit a man with no trousers on, would you? Ever notice how sometimes you come across somebody you shouldn't have F**ked with? Well, I'm that guy. Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy. You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! I want to shoot the pigeons... off my roof. My lord! You're a tripod. This is my gun, Clyde!

Michael Caine vs Clint Eastwood  

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