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G I L M A N M O M at r i l ogyofper s pect i ve


G I L M A N M O M at r i l ogyofper s pect i ve or : t her ecl amat i onofi nnocence

bydomi ni cf r anci s co


Dar l i ng, Dut ches s , Madam

Her ei st hyr oyal t hr ones eept hys el fi nr oyal s pl endorwhi l eIs hal l gett heet hyr oyal cupofcof f ee Ti scr eamedands ugar edexact l yt omyt as t e

Thys hal l bemyr oyal br ewmas t erf r om hi sda yf or war d Fr om t hi sda yf or war d Toha veandt ohol d Oh, Pet e

We’ r egoi ngt obes ohappyt oget her If eel s ocomf or t abl ewi t hyou If eel l i ke

If eel l i keIcoul dt akemys hoesof f I ’ l l al wa ysl oveyoudar l i ngal wa ys

Woul dn’ ti tbewonder f ul i ft i mecoul ds t ands t i l l i fwecoul dal wa yskeepwhatweha vet oni ght ? Fr om t hebegi nni ngwewer el ear ni ngt ol i vet oget herandt ol ovet oget her Lear ni ngt oadj us tdi f f er ents exual r es pons es

Butt i medoes n’ ts t ands t i l l andmar r i agei sf armor et hanl ovi ngt oget herandenj oyi ngcompani ons hi p I t ’ smaki ngdeci s i onst oget herandwehadt ol ear nt opl anaspar t ner s


Heyyou

Ij us tmi s syourf ucki ngcut ef ace Andi t ss t upi d

I ’ ms or r ybuthi Il oveyou

Ihopeyou’ r eha vi ngawonder f ul da yandf eel i ngawhol ehel l ofal otbet t er AndyeahI ’ l l t al kwi t hyoul at er Byebye

Loveyou


Heyyou

Sor r yt ocal l youbacki fyou’ r ei nt hemi ddl eofs omet hi ng Ij us twant edt ohearyourvoi ce


Um, Ir eal l ycan’ tdes cr i bewhatchangedourat t i t udes of as t

It hi nkyouknow Iwas , Ir eal l ywasal otmor enegat i veandangr yandever yt hi ngel s eaf ew year sago Butt hathadal ott odowi t hum notha vi ngnotha vi ngamat e Notha vi ngas t eadygi r l f r i endands t uf fl i ket hat

Souhyouknow t hatwasoneoft hemai nt hi ngst hatwasbot her i ngme ThatIwoul dn’ tadmi tatt het i me

Youknow, s onow t hatI ’ vef oundt hatt hewor l ds eemsal otbet t erf ors omer eas on J us t , i tr eal l ydoeschangeyourat t i t udeabout , youknow

Imeanf ouryear sagoIwoul d’ ves ai dt hecl as s i ct hi ngl i ke

How dar es omeonebr i ngachi l di nt ot hi sl i f e, i twoul dbeat er r i bl ewa yt ogo, andt hi ngsl i ket hat Butwhenyouf al l i nl ove


Wel l , uh, f i r s tofa Myf l l : myt ut ur wos e, myp onsh Andt as er t , myp e, hata mys r es i el n’ ent tbad f , myo I , ’ andm m pr l des oudo yaud tdau f i ght m ence ys Thos er e s l , f mys eoft oni heau nl aw di ence who s ay Ar , " Il eyou ovey l ous ooki omu ngf That or ch" war ’ sgoi dt ngt o bei ohap n g agr pen andm ot her Can’ ? twai t , o h r e I ’ al l l l l ycan et ’ twai t Iwan ther t o h avea Foro baby nl yt went i mme yf di i at vem el yand i nut esan t hens Cany dt heca henI oui nkee ’ l l magi b a b pt ys nean Buta heba i t h er y nact by t h i n g r es el s show e doyo ut h i nkyo Happ umi i l yma ghtl r r i i ket edan ol dj i ve us t , uh, j us Doy t ani out c e l ady hi nki t spos s i bl et obe a Idon nact ’ tt r es hi sand nkan happ ybod ButI i y l yma t w hi h nki oma r r t i ed? s pos r r Ir i e s eal d i b m l l e yi et don’ h o ught ts e It eany s o hi nki r t eas spr on obab They l yal s i t or t l edi tof f , f wel i cul Andt l teve , t heyk hent r yma now hem nI t hatI ’ veev i Youk nut ’ et m Ju erme now h ey dyG , how u t h , ar s o d Wel l a r i f t ndw f ofge i l cul why hent t i t t di ent i st d h n o eys a ’ t n b Idon gl t ewi heyo t edw ar tt t ’ tkno hme ft ogo i t hme hatt w wi hef t t heys hme Youd i r s tt a y on’ i m et tt h h i e n yt kI I tdoe o ’ m o k t hatd meo s n’ ts i f ut eem f i cul tdoy No Ihav en’ ou? tbee nt Buta oor ough tany onyo r at eIw I u ’ m ag oul dl oodc i k e t ook hat


Yeah

Il oveyou

Youha veawonder f ul da yand I ’ l l t al kwi t hyoul at er Byebye


Ican’ ts t opt hi nki ngaboutt hel as tni ghtIs a w you Somehow t hi sf eel swor s e DeepdownIknow Ihadt o Buts omehow i tf eel sl i kewewer es t i l l i nl oveyes t er da y Is t a yedont hepor cht hatni ght Butt henwhat ’ sgonnahappen Iknow Icancal l youi fIneedt o Idon’ tknow i fIs t i l l l oveyou, but Andt henIt hi nkabouts endi ngt hi st oyou I ’ m cr yi ngr i ghtnow Ma ybeyou’ l l r eadi tandwe’ l l t al ks omemor e I twast hes amewa ywhenwebr okeup Idon’ twantyout obedeadt ome Is a w yous l ow downandl ook That ’ st hewa yIknow you’ r es t i l l outt her e We’ l l ha veaconver s at i onandt henwe’ l l keepdr i f t i ngapar t Butt henIwon’ that emyl i f e I twon’ tgetofmyhead


Ican’ ts t opt hi nki ngt hat

ButIcan’ t

I t ’ sdi f f i cul tt os a y

It hi nkyouonl yl ovet hes ur f aceIdon’ tt hi nkyoul oveal l ofme

Notme

Not

Butnotr eal l ywhoIam

OrwhatIr epr es ent

Whoyout hi nkIam orwhoyouwantmet obe

Somet i mesi tj us ts eemsl i keyoul i ket hei deaofme

I ’ m notal wa yss ur e

Buts omet i mesIwonder

It hi nks o

Di dyoul oveme?

Di dIl oveyou?

DoIl oveyou?


Ever yt hi ngi sgoi ngt obeoka y

Ever yt hi ngi sgoi ngt obeoka y J us tbr eat he

Ever yt hi ngi sgoi ngt obeoka y Ever yt hi ngi sgoi ngt obeoka y Ever yt hi ngi sgoi ngt obeoka y J us tbr eat he

Ever yt hi ngi sgoi ngt obeoka y J us tbr eat he

Ever yt hi ngi sgonnabeoka y J us tbr eat he J us tbr eat he

Ever yt hi ng’ sgoi ngt obeoka y J us tbr eat he

Ever yt hi ng’ sgoi ngt obeoka y

Ever yt hi ngi sgoi ngt obeoka y Ever yt hi ngi sgoi ngt obeoka y J us tbr eat he


Iwentonawal k Um

Af t erIwentt oKai s er

AndIwal kedt hr ought heOakl andhi l l s AndIwal ked

Andcur vedal l t hewa yar ound Andwent Um

Thr ought he ToBer kel ey

AndIwasl i s t eni ngt oBl ondewhi l eIwasdoi ngt hat Andi tj us ts or tofcl i ckedI

Real i zedt hatIneededt ol ett hi sgo Um


Ir eal l ydon’ twantt ol i keyour i ghtnow Ir eal l yj us twantt ohat eyou

Iwantt of or getaboutyouf or ever ButIknow t hatIcan’ t

Event houghIdon’ twantt oadmi ti ts omet i mes

Iknow t hatIdos t i l l car eaboutyouandIdos t i l l wantyout obehappyandIt hi nkaboutyou AndI ’ dl i ket ot hi nkt hats omewher e Deepdown

Youha ves i mi l arf eel i ngsandyous t i l l car e AndIdon’ tknow whatt hatmeans

Idon’ tknow whyIs t i l l wantyout ocar e


he eat br t s u j kay beo o t ng i sgo ngi i h t y r Eve kay beo o t ng i sgo e gi h n t i a h e yt r tbr us eve j he, ay, t k a o e tbr obe Jus ngt i o e g kay h s eat beo r ngi i b o h t t t y us r j ng i ay ay, Eve sgo he i eok eok at g y b b e n a he i r o k o h o tb eat yt ngt us ngt j tbr oi ver obe i s y, g t E goi a u j s k s g , i n o y i ng ng oka hi hi sgo obe yt yt r ngi obe ngt i ver t i h E o Eve t g g y n i r s Eve sgo ngi hi ngi yt i r h e t v y r E Eve he eat tbr Jus

kay beo o t ng i sgo gi n i kay h yt r beo o t Eve ng i sgo i g n i h yt r Eve

Il i vedi nyourwor l dt oda yandi twashones t l ypr et t ydi f f i cul t I ’ ms t ar t i ngt os eet hi ngsf r om yourper s pect i veal i t t l emor e

AndI ’ mr eal i zi ngt hatt hi ngswer en’ taseas yasIt houghtt heywer ef oryou


Andt hewor l dopensupagai n

Andt hi st i meIt akeadeepbr eat h, andImoveon


Us i ngexpr es s i onst hatar en’ tyour sIf el l i nl ovewi t hs omeoneyouwant edt obe Andyouf el l i nl ovewi t hs omeonechas i ngt hepas t

I ’ l l wai tf ort her es tofmyl i f et ot ur ni nt owhatIhopedt hi st obe Thought hel ands t r et chedbeyondyours af et yr ope

Phant om memor i espl eadedwi t hmet oi gnor et hegr owi ngpai ni nmyches t Whenyourwi l t eds pi r i tmeekl ymetmyeyes Los suncor kedt hes epl uggedhol es

Appar i t i onswar pedt opol ar i zedver s i onsofour s el ves Somet hi ngwecoul dn’ tout l as t

Ass hoesr unwar mt hevapor at esf r om s ol es

Thoughapar tours hadowsnow gr ow i ns pi r i tt oget herwewi l l bl os s om War m wi s hesf r om f arcoas t sf i l l t heempt yhear t sweus edt ol ove Ands l owl yt hi ss t or m ofs el f i ndul gencef ades Andasi wi s ht hes ameofyou

I ’ l l l ear nf r om t heper s pect i veIknow

Theper s pect i veIha veyett odi s cover Theper s pect i veyout aughtme


Theat mos pher ewasdens eandl us handi ts mel l edl i kehoneys uckl e Ir ememberi ts mel l i ngl i kehoneys uckl e

Ther es i dent i al weal t hofci vi l i zat i onar oundmewaswr appedi nt i ghtvi nesoft heear t ht hatbi r t hedi t Li f e, chr i s t ened

Themomentwaspr es ent

Andmycor egl eaned


St r eetl i ght swoul dcal m medown

WhenIhads omet hi ngwei ghi ngonmeIwoul dt akewal ksatni ghtt ocl earmymi nd Iwoul dbewal ki ngi nt ot heki ndembr aceoft hemel l ow or anges t r eet l i ght s

Theci t ygi f t edmet hi sni ght l i ghtasIwander edt hr oughf ol i ages t umbl i ngs t umbl i ngupont uckeda wa ypar t soft heni ght Iwoul dwal kandwal kandwal kandIwasgl i di ngt hr ought hi sepi phanet i cdr eam

Iwoul dbegi nmyj our neywi t hconf l i ct i onandbyt het i meIr et ur nedhomemyi s s uewas , wi t hacompr omi s eoranabs ol ut e, r es ol vedwi t houtf ai l Andt hemor eIwal kedt hedi mmert hes el i ght sbecame Theyga vewa y

I twasappar entmyt i mewi t ht hem wasr unni ngt hi n Andwhathappenswhenyourcr ut chgi vesout ? You’ r ef or cedt or el yonyour s el f I t ’ st i met ogr ow up

AndIhadt obecaus ewhent hos el i ght sf i nal l yga vewa yt heywer er epl acedwi t hbr i ghthar s hwhi t el i ght soft her eal wor l d Ther eal wor l dt hatdoes n’ tha veyourback

Ther eal wor l dt hatneedst os hi nebi t t er l yt opr ot ecti t sci t i zensf r om i t scoar s er eal i t i es Dr eami ngi ni nnocenceanddi s cover ynomor e

Butoncei nabl uemoonanor angel i ghtwi l l bl os s om i nt hes ky

Andpas s i ngby , now onf ourwheel s , Il eanoutandyear nf ormys t ompi nggr ound


ofcour s e

Iwannas l eep

bye

ha vef un Il oveyou


Goodni ght , Domi ni c

Goodni ghtRachel

Il oveyou

Il oveyou

Goodni ght , Domi ni c

Goodni ght , Rachel

Il oveyou

Il oveyou, t oo


Fi nal l y , Icanbr eat he


s acr ament o

oak l and

dad,mom,madel i ne,r achel ,gr ant , Ar as hi ,ni ck,gr andma,t er es a, paul ,r ods er l i ng,s hi ndi gs ,f at herf i gur e( new yor k), s ar ahbr ooke, s l eept oday,hel m gr i nder ,l i nds hEavenvi r t ualpl aza,di s cons ci ous , ol dgr ay,s l i megi r l s ,car r i agehous el ane,bl onde,cheyennehohman, mendoci no,mont er i o,ps ychi cs hakes ,kcs m,t hef i r et r ai l ,mor phi ne, bl ackpl as t i ccas ket s ,kens i ngt on,ber kel eyhi l l s ,gi r af f e,l akemer r i t t

t hi sj our neywasnotpos s i bl ewi t hout


Ameekpl ea. As ugges t i onofdi s comf or tdr apedi nr et chedf ondnes s , i nept i t ude, andda ydr eam. Ades per at et hr ow ofbar gai nedemot i ont os al vages omet hi ngt hatneverwas . Deepdowni tknowsi ti sul t i mat el ygoi ngt of ai l .

Agai ns ti t si nt er nal s cr eamsi tper s i s t sonwar di nt ot hei nat t ent i vef ogi ts eekst oper s uadet ocar i ng humi di t y .

I tf al l sf l atoni t sbr okenf ace, mi r edi nt hehear t wr enchi ngki ndofs ent i ment al i t y .

Deeperanddeeperi ts i nksi nt ot hi smur ky( be) l ongi ng. Pr et t yi ni t spai ni ts l i dest hr oughs oi l . Wewer es t i l l i ncont actaf t erbei ngs epar at edf ors omet i me.

Abogofunconf i dent , conf l i ct i ngemot i onhadbui l ti nmys t omachf r om t hemi dwa ypoi ntofour r el at i ons hi punt i l now.

Ihadnowor dsi nmyl exi cont odes cr i bet henuanceofwhatIwasf eel i ngf ort hem. I nf actIhadn’ tbeenabl et opi t chmuchofanat t emptwhenwes pokeatal l .

Pour i ngt hi smi as mai nt os oundf el tl i kemyonl ychanceatcommuni cat i ngt hi ss ens i t i vi t y asma m ybei tcoul ds how t hem how If el t .

Scr apsofs ongsevocat i veofoures capadesmi ngl edwi t ht hegl i mps esoft hei rni cet i esf oundon myphone’ si nbox.

Thecr evi cesoft hi spa vementwer ef i l l edwi t hdecept i vel ypos i t i ves egment sofHol l ywood’ sbr oken. Thenat ur eofeachcl i phi ngedont hei mpl i cat i onofat r oubl i ngr eal i t ygl azedoveri nani ns i ncer e medi amoment .

Of t enaf r ai dorunknownhow t ogr acef ul l ybr i ngt hes ehar ds hi pst ol i ght , t hes evoi cesdr ownand al l ow f oral at erconver s at i onbegi nni ngwi t ht hephr as e“ IFor gotToTel l You” .

Mani f es tDes t i ny: ar equi r edacqui s i t i onofemot i onal f or t i t udet hr ought r i edt i mes . Dej avu; di vi net r agedyr el i ved. Agauntmi ndci r cl i ngmal l eabl ememor i es . Rei nt er pr et i ng, r edef i ni ngl andmar khappens t ance.

Ahear t beatpr ovi despr oces s i onf orel event r i f l es , oneandonef at edf ors epar at i on. Ar ephr as i ngofr ecoi l edt hought sbet weent hehear t beatofdr um. Awakenedi nt ot heabys s : Fr i gi d, Rat t l ed, Dazed.

Bewi l der edr epet i t i ons educest hei r e, s ubmer gedi nt hedownpourofdoubt .

Ol eagi nousbonehunt sf orf ami l i ars t al k. Fori mper f ectf ami l i ar i t y . Forawhi f fofi deal i s ml os t .

Butt her ear enof l ower sabout , onl ypa vementandca ver nouss ugges t i onsofr oadsl i vedbymany . Manywhos el i vest ur nedoutper mi s s i bl eenoughf oranenvi ouschi l dt or es ent . Fr i gi d, Rat t l ed, andDazedar echi l dr ennomor e, ha vet heyr eal i zed. Ar i s en.

Gr at ef ul t oacogni t i onatl as tl ocki ngi npl ace. Gr i eved. Whathasal wa ysbeent her e. Whatt heycanr emembernow andar eper mi t t edt os ur pas s .

Tr i al st hathadt obes ur pas s edt or ewr i t et hewa yIembr acet hewor l dandi tembr acesme. Thef l oweroft r i bul at i on: s ur vi vorofs oi l andr ai n, bi r t hedanew.

As t epa wa y , ami l eahead. TheThr eear enow one. Whati ts oi mper f ect l ys cour edf ori tf ound i ni t s el fasamemor y , asas t r eam, asanaut onomouspr omi s e.

Thef ai l i ngsandwant sofapas tl i f ear eanot heradol es centt eachi ng. I nvi s i bl yengr a vedwher ei tal wa yswas .

Acknowl edgementofs epar at i onent wi nesf i nger swi t hr ecogni t i onofnor mal i t y .

Onehasdoneal l onecando. Anot her ’ sper cept i oncannotwei ghonmoment ar yr eal i t i es . I mper vi ouss ecur i t ybl endsgr een. Andyel l ow. Andcer ul ean.

Aj our ney’ st al ei snevercompl et e, butpr ogr es shasbeenr es t or ed.

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Experience an ocular version of Gilman Mom’s abstract epic, A Trilogy of Perspective. A digital art book documenting the journey's prose. Th...

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