the trial
the prosecution
Contrary to popular belief, Tony Scott makes films equivalent to the cut-price paperbacks you pick up at the supermarket check out. They’re trashy, cheap, self-important claptrap with no passion, no vitality and no originality to speak of. film folk in the dock And before you even think of saying True Romance was good, that film was a one-scene movie. What Defendant: Tony Scott pisses me off the most about Scott Charge: Grievous Bodily the younger is that the trailers Harm (against film) for his films are undeniably amazing. Take Man on Fire (an abortion of a film) – the trailer lures you in so convincingly, it’s only when you’ve shelled out your £10 for a ticket that you realise you’ve already seen every cool line and action sequence from the entire film. Every film he makes follows the Top Gun template of having a handful of quotes, a couple of explosions and a tough-guy lead. In that sense, his films are also plagued by the idea that a story doesn’t need to make any sense, just so long as it looks cool, a notion which characterised so many piss-poor bargain-bin ’80s action flicks. Finally, I hold him personally responsible for those film writers who insist on using the (ghastly) word “helmer” – “Tony Scott to HELM Spy Game”. You helm a car, not a movie. David Jenkins
the defence
ve cking lo man, I fu : “Yeah, “No, I hate that n fa ie v o ’t n? type of myou like Top Gu that this fool isn o e a certain There’s vies.” Really? Dknow right therwith the idea of o e u v m o y the he’s in lo d bang , of shit.” Anwith the movies, . A victim e people of people in love ol. m of thes ccess. A victim illion picture. ti co ic v g n a ei is su m b tt 0 d in Tony Scoe no credibility es, helm – a $10e sweat-saturate mak ho se e. m–y people wk it’s easy to helink anybody can f raw adrenalinve with o who thinf people who thhead-fuck rush d yeah, he’s in lo o e A victim oozes with th is De Palma. An that at o S th . g hacks lf cinema , he’s a stylist pielberg. chompin pushing himse Sure y tl s. So is S t from the cigarp an u st tn se co n xt te b his actio at sets Scott aparhe’s a fighter – ple wrong. sive su Wh ve peo is that ld e subver industryup his game, proave disguised th ? And who wou e th er litt course, irectors could h ster no-braineriled, turning a u to change yd t blockb Oliver Stone fa ble? How man ise’s firs e e n as Cru succeed wher reetwise ensemmotifs. But giv g u G op T st to g of pt into a ked him of makin recurrin have bac s Tarantino scri s, his ticks, his he’ll be capable the same? k smart-ashas his gimmic , and you know eron could donski am he He on or $10 k Scorsese or C a car. Matt Boc li il m 0 him $10 vie. Do you thinelm a ship, not o h u m o your d anyway, y An
summing-up
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you’ve heard the evidence before you. Tony Scott: purveyor of cheap empty trash which violates the good defender of joy-drenched action dramas. You, the jury, name of film or stylish, suave guilty, or not guilty, of sneaking up on cinema in a dark decide. Is the defendant ally and smashing its face in with a rusty iron bar? The first twelve people to respond with their verdict to backsection@littlewhitelies will decide – verdict to be delivered next issue. Who would you next like to see in the dock?
104 THE LAND OF THE DEAD ISSUE
STELLA tour
The sun had just gone told Patrick Swayze, “Idown as Jake Gyllenhaal fucking anti Christ”. A think you’re the small cheer erupted. Stella Artois’ fantasticall show great films in the y successful idea to open air this summer began in August with Don continues this month withnie Darko and chance to see one of the Pulp Fiction. The 5000 people sounds pret great films of ’90s with shows at Heaton Park, ty good. Pulp Fiction Pennines, on Septemberin the foothills of the are a fiver from www.st 3 at 6:00 PM. Tickets ellascreen.co.uk