Feral Tweed and Luther Rude played poker at a pub.
Feral won some hunting land and Luther lost a truck.
They checked out Feralâ€›s fifty acres, all pines and oaks and scrub.
They spotted deer tracks everywhere, and several antler rubs.
They never had a hunting cabin. They always froze in tents.
â€œNot this year, said Luther Rude, Order some cement.â€?
Feral cleared a flat spot and Luther pounded stakes.
Careful Feral! These ones Bite!
They rounded up some cedar logs and tossed out rattlesnakes.
“We‛ll build it just like Lincoln Logs and seal it up with tar.”
“That‛ll keep out mountain lions, skunks, and grizzly bar.”
They sang old songs of mountain men while working in the sun.
When Feral grabbed his banjo, Luther had to run.
The smoke went up the chimney and the outhouse didnâ€›t smell.
“We did it Luth, said Feral Tweed, We built the cabin well.”
The alarm clock rang on hunting day but Luther didnâ€›t hear.
Feral snored real loudly after drinking Lutherâ€›s beer.
They finally woke at ten oâ€›clock and sighted in their guns...
...when they got a little visit from some irritated Nuns.
“What is it you think you‛re doing? This is sacred ground.”
â€œThis land belongs to the Sisterhood of Tabernacle Town.â€?
â€œI won this in a poker gameâ€? protested Feral Tweed.
But Sister Mary Agnes surprised him with the deed.
They packed up Feralâ€›s Ford and headed through the woods.
Feral cursed the poker game down at Andyâ€›s Pub.
Back at home that evening, while Feral settled down...
He read about a stolen bus from Tabernacle Town.
“That‛s it, cried Feral, I knew something was wrong.”
Feral picked up Luther and they headed out of town.
They snuck up on the cabin and Feral peeked inside.
Edward Bug, the con man, took off his diguise.
Luther looked inside the bus, surprised by what he found...
Beth and Bun, the other Nuns, were on the floor and bound.
Luther freed the kidnapped Nuns and told them start the bus.
Edward Bug, the con man, ran out in a rush.
Feral Tweed ran inside and grabbed his Derringer.
He got the drop on Edward Bug. The rest is all a blur.
Feral kept his cabin and Luther got his truck.
The townsfolk called them heroes. They just called it luck.
Published on Aug 29, 2012