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Talkin’ It Up!

As we enter our 7th year of publication with this issue, I'm reminded how gratifying it is to celebrate our success with you, especially during the holiday season. I sometimes pretend all the twinkling lights and festive meals are on our behalf, but then again, I digress… On a serious note, I am again overwhelmed by your response to this modest endeavor and appreciate your continued support. A lot of work goes into each issue but it's worth it to see you smile! Speaking of celebrations, don't miss seeing the Wonderland of Lights held every holiday season in Marshall, Texas. With more than one million lights shining bright, this 40-day festival provides music, concerts, and more family fun that you can imagine in their historic town square and at other landmarks. Marshall is about a half-hour drive west of Shreveport and only 15 minutes north of Marshall is Jefferson, a neighboring east Texas town that really shows off this time of year. Another major event to attend is the six-weekend long Louisiana Renaissance Festival. Held on a 100-acre site just outside of Hammond, delight in the recreation of a 16th century English village with a cast of characters spanning the globe. Enjoy great food and drink, entertainment, and shopping. Monroe and West Monroe will be kicking off the holidays with Christmas on the River every Saturday from Thanksgiving weekend until Christmas with lights, music, live entertainment, shopping, and fun for the entire family. Louisiana Main Street Communities are also celebrating their annual Remember November gala in their designated cities this month. We're featuring several but you may also want to visit www.louisianahp.org for even more information. Their tag line says it all: “Just like Mayberry only the diner sells gumbo and Aunt Bea does a wicked two-step!” Don't say I didn't warn you. Again, I'm deeply humbled by your support of LRT and want to wish you the best Thanksgiving ever. Let's keep in touch.

Mona

Mona L. Hayden, Editor/Publisher monalh@bellsouth.net (318) 547-1221

ROAD TRIPS "Celebrating country living and city happenings!"

november

contents

BUSINESS REVIEW

13

7 14

River Scape – A Miracle on South Grand Street! by Lee Estes

18 23 23 25 26

Backtalk

Blessing and Groundbreaking No Table Scraps for Pets!

DELTA OUTDOORS 19 22

Can a Duck Guide Fly? by Johnny Wink My Favorite Fishing Hole by Joe Joslin Toledo’s Fall Suspended Bass

Louisiana Lagniappe Answers Gardening Seminar Scheduled November Calendar of Events

RECIPES 11

FESTIVALS & ENTERTAINMENT

Sharing the Gift of Bounty by Mae Flager

Recipes by Stacy Thornton

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The Louisiana Renaissance Festival

17

6th Annual Starry November Night

Christmas on the River 2010 in MonroeWest Monroe

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Some called them Baby Killers…We call them HEROES Holiday Lights in Marshall, Texas

HISTORICAL

5 6 10

20

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Holidays at Biedenharn Museum and Gardens

15

On the Scene – by Deborah Burst National World War II Museum Paying Thanks to Our Veterans

16 21

Crowley Main Street’s Fall Fest

The Legend of the Pargoud Indian Mound by Lora Peppers

HUMOR 18

Runnin’ the Roads by Barbara Sharik Keeping the Cell Phone Charged

20

All Things Southern by Shellie Tomlinson Pass the Tofurky?

25

A Life of Trial…and Error by Dennis Stewart Free Marital & Relationship Advice

23

Trammel’s Trace Rendezvous by Sue Stella Travel Adventure by Dianne Newcomer Listen for Africa Calling

Hit the Road – by Deborah Burst Inglewood Farms Louisiana 4-H Museum by Cheré Coen

MONTHLY TIDBITS 3 9 9

Talkin’ It Up! Going Native by Larry Brock The Harmony of Nature Louisiana Lagniappe – Remember When

COVER CREDIT: Enjoy over one million lights in the historic town of Marshall, Texas, just west of Shreveport. The magnificent 1901 courthouse graces the cover this month as the 40-day festival of lights kicks off November 24th. See Wonderland of Lights inside for details. Louisiana Road Trips

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“Some called them Baby Killers…

…We call them HEROES” On the heels of his well-received movie Flag of My Father, director/producer Rodney Ray of R-Squared Productions in Monroe has turned his talents to a documentary on the Vietnam War and its lingering effects decades later. The film will premier in Monroe on November 4th, the night before the Chennault Aviation and Military Museum opens the three-day visit of the Vietnam Traveling Memorial Wall to Monroe. The documentary features interviews with Louisiana veterans of the war, who discuss their experiences in Vietnam and how the echoes of their time there continue to haunt them. Ray says the idea for the documentary arose when he approached Chennault Museum director Nell Calloway for help from veterans to support Flag of My Father. “They jumped on board immediately,” he says; later, when Calloway solicited his help with the Wall visit, he conceived the plan for the film. Ray says Calloway, ULM's Dr. Mitchell Young, and the Monroe News Star helped him identify veterans willing to talk about their time in Vietnam. Originally, he'd planned to interview twelve people; but he ended up with 20 veterans as well as two spouses and a son. Ray says Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is the central issue with Vietnam vets but what is unique is that instead of returning home as heroes, they were vilified. He hopes the documentary will help people have “a deeper understanding of why these guys were struggling.” A veteran himself, Ray says he's always been proud to wear his uniform. Veterans returning from Vietnam, though, were told not to wear theirs because it wasn't safe for them. One example: Ray says Fred McHenry, came home after being wounded. At the airport in California,

McHenry told Ray a “little lady” kicked his crutches out from under him; then she and others stood over him, taunting him and calling him a baby-killer. No one offered to help him up. Ray says that while the North Vietnamese Army wore uniforms, the Viet Cong did not. American soldiers fighting there could not trust anyone, because even a child could be a decoy to lead them into an ambush. When they returned to the U.S., they still couldn't trust people because they were reviled for their service, sometimes even by friends and family. He says, “Although the soldiers knew about the opposition to the war back home, that didn't deter them from doing what they were required to do. Thus the lesson of Vietnam is that we will never again blame our soldiers for what happens in war. Blame the government, but not the soldiers.” Ray states that producing the documentary has been very humbling and a huge learning experience that he's proud to be part of and encourages veterans to attend. The premiere begins at 6pm Nov. 4th at the Jack Howard Theatre at the Monroe Civic Center. Tickets are $25 for general admission, $15 for Vietnam veterans and spouses, and are available in advance at R-Squared Productions and the Chennault Aviation and Military Museum. Tickets may also be purchased at the door. DVD's of the documentary will be on sale as well. The Vietnam Traveling Memorial Wall opens at the Chennault Museum on Fri., Nov. 5th, at 9am and will be open 24/7, free, until the closing ceremonies at 4pm on Sun., Nov. 7th. For more information, contact the museum at (318) 362-5540.

PUBLISHER LRT Publications

______________________

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Mona L. Hayden

monalh@bellsouth.net (318) 547-1221

OUR GUARDIAN ANGEL Debbie Hamilton Pope June 14, 1952-August 24, 2008

SALES Sunny Meriwether (318) 547-8126 Mona L. Hayden (318) 547-1221 Mark Cobb, Media Specialist / Sales markecobb@gmx.com • (318) 734-4894

Website www.la-road-trips.com

www.twitter.com/louisianaroadtrips www.facebook.com/louisianaroadtrips

Louisiana Road Trips magazine is published monthly to promote, inform, and entertain the residents of Louisiana. It is distributed FREE; however, home delivery is available. This magazine will reach approximately 56,000 individuals. Submission of articles and photos are always welcome but may be limited to availability of space and edited for content. Copyright 2010 with all rights reserved. Reproduction of any material appearing within this publication is prohibited without written permission of the Publishers. The opinions expressed in Louisiana Road Trips magazine are those of the authors or columnists and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, nor do they constitute an endorsement of products or services herein. “Louisiana Road Trips” magazine retains the right to refuse any advertisement.

ROAD TRIPS P. O. Box 2452 West Monroe, LA 71294 (318) 547-1221

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Holiday Lights:

Stars Shine on Wonderland of Lights in Marshall, Texas 24th annual holiday lights festival expands with concerts and new attractions In 1987, an editorial in the Marshall News Messenger made a wish that has illuminated the city for more than 20 years. The editorial, published in hard times for East Texas, imagined “Marshall's town square, every tree, every bush, decorated with tiny white lights." Philanthropist and Marshall native Wendy Russell Reves responded with a generous donation to make that wish come true in the first annual Wonderland of Lights. Today Wonderland of Lights is one of the largest holiday light celebrations in the United States, and more than 125,000 visitors make coming to Marshall a holiday tradition. And this year, the 2010 Wonderland of Lights celebration will bring some of the best loved names in music to this historic East Texas town for a 40day festival of holiday lights, music and family fun Nov 24 - Jan 2. Visitors will delight to see more than a million lights in hundreds of displays showcasing Marshall's historic town square, the magnificent 1901 courthouse and landmarks around town. The festival expands this year with new attractions, including an allstar holiday concert series in Marshall.

Sounds of the season Seven-year-old gospel sensation Rhema Marvanne graces Wonderland of Lights opening night ceremonies Nov. 24, followed by Marshall's new holiday music series. The Four Tops, the Charlie Daniels Band, Roy Clark, and The von Trapp Children, members of the clan made famous by "The Sound of Music,” are among stars coming to Marshall Convention Center through Dec. 18 as part of Wonderland of Lights. Visit Marshall, Texas online for concert schedules or to buy concerts tickets. Stars of Wonderland of Lights opening night ceremonies Nov. 24 also include actress Kirsten Prout, known to fans of the Twilight saga as Lucy in “Eclipse.”

Family fun on the square New attractions this year include a trackless mini-train that will carry visitors around Marshall's picturesque town square and a 15-foot, life-sized snow globe that makes Wonderland visitors part of the holiday scene. The historic Harrison County Courthouse will star nightly in The Wonderland Experience, choreographed light shows that will electrify the town square in another new attraction.

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Popular Wonderland diversions return and include the Samsung ice skating rink, Santa's Workshop, the Wonderland of Lights holiday parade, and taste treats from Mrs. Claus' Kitchen or Breakfast with Santa. Follow the schedule of events online.

Grown-up fun Celebrity chef cooking classes, horsedrawn carriage rides, and bus tours that draw visitors beyond the town square to light displays throughout historic Marshall will appeal to all ages. Architecture and history buffs can't miss docent tours of the meticulously restored 1901 Harrison County Courthouse, open to public tours for the first time in more than a decade. Admission is free, and tours are conducted by reservation each weekend. Hours for the 2010 Wonderland of Lights festival are 4 to 10 p.m. daily and individual attraction times vary. For a calendar of events, accommodations, concert tickets or more information on holiday lights in Marshall, contact the Marshall Convention & Visitors Bureau at (800) 270-2749, or www.visitmarshalltexas.org.

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Trammel's Trace Rendezvous By Su Stella

Every man I ever met including my own father has said at least once, “I was born 100 years too late” or “I wish I was alive 100 years ago.” If you have ever heard your men utter those words then you should bring them to Cypress Bayou RV Park in Jefferson Texas on Saturday, November 13. Live a little bit of history at Trammel's Trace Rendezvous. The RV Park is transformed into am early 1800's living history camp, walk among the mountain men, the Indians, trappers and traders as they work around their tee pees and tents. Some exciting events include the primitive black powder shooting matches and tomahawk and knife throwing. Come as you are or dress in old time clothes and bring paper money or old time items to trade, turning your visit into a real experience. At the sound of the

whistle of a steam engine, hop aboard the Historic Jefferson Railway to hear the interesting narration as the train makes a 5-mile journey skirting the Big Cypress Bayou. Watch blacksmiths as they bend and shape hot metal into a wide array of tools and implements. Bow makers and skinners along with other craftsmen and artisans will be found working their various skills around the camp. Enjoy the smells of their campfires and allow their cooking to whet your appetite. There will be plenty of crafts and activities for everyone and this year a skillet toss and rolling pin throw will add to the fun. Dress for the weather, wear comfortable shoes, and bring money for food and all sorts of crafts. Don't forget your camera! For details visit www.diamonddon.com. Cypress Bayou RV Park, 1602 Highway 49 East, Jefferson, Texas.

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Blessing and Groundbreaking of Kitty DeGree Emergency Center Held at St. Francis St. Francis Medical Center held a blessing and groundbreaking ceremony on Friday, October 1, 2010 for a new extension of their Emergency Department. The new Emergency Center will be named the Kitty DeGree Emergency Center, after Mrs. Kitty DeGree, a local philanthropist. It was also announced during the ceremony that Mrs. DeGree recently contributed one million dollars to the St. Francis Foundation. “We are celebrating a significant contribution of one of this community's greatest leaders and contributors who is helping to make this project possible. We are all very familiar with the many contributions that Mrs. Kitty DeGree has made to this community and to St. Francis including the Kitty DeGree Breast Health Center,” said Louis H. Bremer, St. Francis President & CEO. Proclamations were read by Mayor James E. Mayo, City of Monroe and Representative Frank Hoffman on behalf of Senator Mike Walsworth and Governor Bobby Jindal, recognizing October 1st as Kitty DeGree Healthcare Day in the City of Monroe and the State of Louisiana.

Sister Kathleen Cain, Provincial of the Franciscan Missionaries of Our Lady, North American Province, added these words, “Courage, perseverance, practicality, service to others, and a transcendental love for the sick and suffering are values depicted by the staff here at St. Francis Medical Center and in particularly our Emergency room personnel. Today is another milestone for St. Francis Medical Center, and my prayer is one of thanksgiving for all here today, especially to our employees for your continued support in living out our mission.” Construction of the new Emergency Center will take approximately 18 months and

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will cost approximately nine million dollars. Improvements will include expansion of the current facility from 14,360 sq. ft. to a 29,250 sq. ft. Emergency Center. The new Emergency Center will include 38 beds, an expanded Fast Track capability, in-house CT scanner as well as the newest technology in digital radiology. The new design will create two entrances, one public walk-in entrance and one designed for ambulances with the ultimate outcome of expedited patient flow, triage capability and enhanced patient experience. The downtown Emergency Department at St. Francis averages approximately 3,400 patient visits monthly. The architect for the project is Carroll Blewster of Bradley-Blewster & Associates. Emergency services are also provided at the North campus of St. Francis Medical Center, and those services will remain in place after construction of the new center is complete. The blessing was conducted by Bishop Michael Duca, Bishop of Shreveport, and special guests included several members of the Franciscan Missionaries of Our Lady, and elected officials.

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Back in Time to Adventure and Romance:

The Louisiana Renaissance Festival Located on a picturesque hundred-acre site featuring a beautiful lake and a recreated English village from the 16th century, the Louisiana Renaissance Festival is truly a step back in time. A six-weekend long revel located just outside Hammond, the festival includes shows by professional performers from around the world, a local cast of villagers looking to play with guests, exceptional food and drink, unique shopping and a general good time to be had, one and all. “We are proud to be one of the state's best events for families as well as romance-seekers, adventure-lovers - just about anyone” says producer Alvon Brumfield. “There are so many things to do here that we literally have people who don't miss a day of the 13 we are open.” Queen Elizabeth - not the First, but the Only - stands ready to perform knighting ceremonies for young ladies and lords, and participates in a daily Royal Parade. She can be found strolling the lanes, accompanied by her favorite, Lord Robert Dudley. Accompanied by royal guards and ladies, the Queen (portrayed by actress Kimberly Stockton), is among the faire's most popular characters, sought after for photos and video. Almost as popular as the Queen are the knights who perform two full-contact jousts each day. Tilting (as the sport is called) happens in a large arena; two fully-armored knights astride enormous horses gallop full-tilt towards each other, and lances splinter

as wood meets shield. When the knights are unhorsed, combat continues on the ground with sword and other arms. The Louisiana Renaissance Festival is known for its stage shows, including music, comedy, puppetry and more. “These are the highest caliber performers,” notes Brumfield, “Since our show is one of the latest in the festival season, we have been able to attract the very best from around the country.” Washing well wenches, pirates, clowns, jugglers, fire-eaters and others entertain throughout the day. Music includes stage shows as well as strolling performers, some on whom play replicas of period instruments such as lutes, hammered dulcimers and Highland bagpipes. A unique feature is the end-of-day music jam where performers and cast are joined by guests in a variety of favorite songs. Special events include a daily winetasting, tea with the Queen each Sunday,

Louisiana Road Trips

and fireworks. The Festival also has a strong educational element, or as Brumfield calls it, edu-tainment. “This is the most fun people will ever have in learning something interesting,” he says. Demonstrations include glass-blowing, blacksmithing, woodworking and more. “This may be the only place you can see everything from butter-churning to candle-making, all in a period setting,” says Brumfield. The setting, with beautiful Lake Albright in the center, makes for a wonderful outdoor day of fun. The period nature of the event means that there are few visible signs, for example, of electrical service. “Even our rides are peoplepowered,” laughs Brumfield. For more information, directions, prices and group sales, visit www.LARF.org or call 985-429-9992. (See ad in this issue.)

Call Now to Schedule Holiday Parties

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GOING NATIVE

By Larry Brock

The Harmony of Nature What a year! The hot and humid, dry and windy weather that plagued summer gardens of 2010 has persisted well into fall. The expanding drought overpowered some plants and pushed others into dormancy, causing them to prematurely shed leaves and fruit. In October, Louisiana imposed an outdoor burn ban. Dust devils danced across bare, harvested fields as record high temperatures fiddled an autumn reel. Fortunately, many native plants can survive such stress. Even with the heat and drought, the natural landscape has produced a wealth of fall color … in the eupatoriums like Joe-Pye, mistflower and boneset - preceded by the purple and yellow coneflowers, the ironweeds and cardinal flowers followed by wild asters, goldenrods and swamp sunflowers. And don't forget American beauty berries and groundsel bushes.

At the fall equinox, a blaze of glory ignited the landscape. This was the blooming of the red spider lilies (Lycoris radiata), aka surprise lilies or hurricane lilies. Though not a native plant, these are Southern heirlooms and traditional fall favorites. As the blooms fade, basal leaves emerge that will last through winter into next summer when they too wither and die, leaving no trace of the bulbs until next September when the flowers will erupt again in an explosion of color. Warning: Though tempting to scatter them in drifts across the lawn, mowing the leaves year after year will starve the bulbs. So unless you're prepared to let the nearby grass remain unmowed until May/June, plant the bulbs where they can mature unmolested. On a more fragrant note, sweet olive and butterfly ginger boldly compete for autumn's aromatic attention. Migrating 1. What famous baseball player hit a monarchs were home run at an exhibition game at reported from late Forsythe Park in Monroe in 1921? September into mid 2. What was the main use of October, nectaring on sassafrass in building some old native asters, black-eyed Louisiana homes? Susan, boneset, 3. What Union Parish town goldenrods, ironweed, was a major port at one Joe-Pye, phlox, purple time? 4. Which river has the longest navigable length in Louisiana? 5. Where does the Ouachita River begin? 6. Where was the slave trade center in Caldwell Parish prior to the Civil War? 7. What does 'Chemin-a-haut' mean? 8. In whose honor did Macedonia change its name to Jonesboro? 9. What does Bayou de L'Outre mean? 10. How many acres does the Superdome cover?

Give thanks with a grateful heart to the One who created it all.

ouisiana Remember When . . .

coneflower and sunflowers. Non-native plants like butterfly bush, cosmos, lantana, lion's ear, salvias, sages and zinnias continue to provide fall nectar for hungry swallowtails, sulfurs, viceroys and silver-spotted skippers. Hummers were still here on Oct 15th, feeding on salvias and other blooming plants. Angry mockingbirds shrieked in furious territorial chases while a solemn assembly of robins ringed the bird bath. Raucous blue jays and barking squirrels echoed in the dawn woods. Though the pecan crop is slim, acorns are plentiful and cuttings abundant. On October 9th I spoke in Bastrop at the annual “Autumn Joys in the Garden” held at Natures Hide-A-Way. That's Kathy Gilbert's wonderland of plants and one-of-a-kind garden accessories. At the time, buckeyes were falling in my yard and I carried some for those in my workshop. How was I introduced? What is it I do? I look and point out local wildflowers and wildlife. I marvel and write about the wonder of life and the harmony of nature. I bring cuttings and call it “show-andtell”, offering glimpses into nature's limitless imagination. Then I invite beyond biology into the fancy and romance of the natural world. See the flounced skirts of a twirling flamenco dancer in the wind-swept leaves of autumn.

Answers on next page 25

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Spot that muppet hidden on a ginger leaf. It's the Louisiana state amphibian, a green tree frog named Kermit. Plus a sweetgum leaf is undeniably a “tree-star” to anyone with a grandchild who's watched “Land Before Time” for 13 times! And at this season of the year, appreciate the farmers who annually risk so much to produce the abundant harvests we enjoy here in America. Value your gardening friends for their support, their tips and their passalongs. Appreciate the patience of your spouse and family who love you in spite of your obsessions, your weeds and your stains. Finally, give thanks with a grateful heart to the One who created it all. As the Psalmist wrote, “In rustling grass I hear Him pass, He speaks to me everywhere … and to my listening ears all nature sings, and round me rings the music of the spheres.” Thank You … thank you all! A life-long resident of Lake Providence, Larry Brock was inspired by his grandfather’s passion for gardening and his own desire to recover the horticultural uniqueness of this region. Larry is drawn to the relationships between plants, birds, insects and soil and can be found puttering outdoors in his yard most any time, weather permitting.

Ouachita River Art Gallery

308 Trenton Street • West Monroe, LA 71291

(318) 322-2380

www.ouachitariverartgallery.com Tuesday - Saturday 10:00 am-5:00 pm

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TRAVEL ADVENTURE

By Dianne Newcomer

Listen for Africa Calling "My favorite trip is always my last one, because at my age that's the one I remember the best," laughed Johnny James. "Yet of all the trips Betty Jean and I have taken in the last few years since her retirement, I think our January trip to Africa was the best. Sometimes I hear Africa calling and I must admit, it is a powerful connection." "It might happen in the late afternoon as I watch deer graze peacefully in the outback, which is what I call the land behind my house, or see nutria play in the bayou. Suddenly, my mind races to the other side of the globe where darkness will be slipping across the land. The moon is coming up and the lights of the Southern Cross twinkle brilliantly in the sky. I feel the intensity in the air. In Tanzania-- the land of hunter and hunted-the predators are on the prowl." I understood what Johnny was saying because after my husband returned from a photo safari in Kenya, the most mundane of life events seemed to trigger a memory. Out of the blue, he would come out with a factoid like "did you know the cheetah can run 70mph?" or "did I ever tell you about the acacia tree in Africa that releases a bitter flavor in its leaves to keep giraffes from devouring it?" He enjoyed learning about how nature empowered her creations with amazing survival mechanisms and the rhythm and rituals of the animal kingdom. He loved elephants because they were so family oriented. When he saw a member killed by a predator, he watched how the family returned, gently touched the skull and tusks with their trunks, and lingered for a final farewell. He saw how the zebras and the wildebeests, the strangest of partners, traveled together and coexisted peacefully. Because they both share the same enemies, the zebra has learned to rely on the wildebeest's keen sense of smell to alert him to danger. Rob once described his safari as the only journey he has ever taken where you ride around all day in an open air Land Rover and feel happy as a dog hanging out of

the window of a pickup truck. He found game watching to be addictive. Something is always happening-somewhere. "It took about 20 hours of flying to get to Arusha, Tanzania," said Johnny. "It was 9:30pm when we got there, and my wife, Betty Jean, and I were really elated to see our Tauck World Discovery guide waiting for us outside the customs area. As we left the tiny airport, the darkness overwhelmed us. Except for the headlights of our Toyota Land Cruiser and the occasional car, a definite luxury in this part of the world, there were no street or building lights. Our journey into darkest Africa had begun." "We had chosen this particular Tauck tour of Tanzania and Kenya because we wanted to see as many wild animals as possible while remaining comfortable. We were not disappointed. Our lodges and meals were absolutely over the top, and every day was different and amazing. We usually made two drives a day to see elephants, giraffes, cape buffaloes, monkeys, jackals, hyenas, zebras, lions, crocodiles, hippos, rhinos, gazelles, wildebeests, and everything there was to see, even the illusive leopard." "At every sighting, no matter how distant the animals, we would stop the vehicle and take an insane number of pictures. Even if we went off-road in search of better animal viewing, we never felt unsafe. In Ngorongoro Crater, we were approached by lions who seemed unusually curious about our vehicles but neither party felt threatened. Africa's original Garden of Eden is said to be within this Crater's dormant volcanic walls. Also in this area of Tanzania is the amazing Olduvai Gorge where archaeologists Louis and Mary Leakey discovered fossilized remains of some of the earliest humans ever detected. These bones are estimated to be about 2 million years old." "One thing I never thought much about seeing were birds! The grey crowned crane was one of my favorites. In Africa, birds not only chatter and sing constantly, but they play an important role in nature's design. Since our lodge had no walls or fences, you would know if something was stirring on the grounds just by the change in their chorus. In the Masai Mara National Reserve, we learned to listen intently to their signals since, for two nights, we actually

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stayed in a 'tent' with canvas sides and a zip up door, followed by an early hot air balloon ride. As we floated over the Reserve, the wildlife scurried Johnny James below us. What an amazing memory!" "Our last stop in Tanzania before heading into Kenya was the Serengeti, one of the most famous game reserves in the world and the staging ground for the Great Migration, the largest mass movement of land mammals on the planet. Since Betty Jean and I were there in January, we saw a part of the Migration where thousands of wildebeests, zebras and bazelles were on the move. Our guide told us that by June, over 2 million animals will pass through the Serengeti on their way to the fresh pastures and waters of Kenya." "We loved everything about our stay in the Serengeti: the stunning scenery, the golden savannas, and our tented camp complete with an owl nesting outside our window. Here, we saw cheetahs, 15 foot crocs sunning by the river, and a pride of lions enjoying their fresh zebra kill. From the safety of our vehicles, we sat quietly and watched the circle of life unfold. It was neither shocking nor brutal. It is all part of the great design--and just another day in Africa." So, if you have ever dreamed of going to Africa, why wait? For next year, Monroe Travel Service still has space on Tauck's Kenya and Tanzania photo safari on prime dates. Except for the air to Africa, these 13 day photo safaris are pretty much all inclusive-fine hotels, all meals, all sightseeing and flights within Africa, plus an awesome hot air balloon ride on the Serengeti. Pricing begins at $6,990 for early spring dates but expect to pay a premium for calving season or to see the spectacle of the Great Migration. Sometimes, front row seats to a wonderful show just cost more but they are worth it! For details on a photo safari to Africa or a free brochure, come by MONROE TRAVEL SERVICE-1908 Glenmar Street, next door to the Muffin Tin, and give yourself a journey you will never forget. So.... my friends, if like Johnny James you hear Africa calling, then, please call me at Monroe Travel--323 3465!

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RECIPES

by Stacy Thornton

November is here and I am ready to start celebrating, baking, shopping, and of course, decorating. I so love the holidays, the weather, and most of all gathering with family and friends. Celebrations are all around us, big and small. This month, Thanksgiving is the big event. Then you have black Friday the following day - the biggest shopping day of the year. I guess it could be considered a work out. I hope you enjoy the pie recipes and don't be scared to try the microwave version. It's easy and good. We all have so much to be thankful for, just look around and see the good all around you. Be thankful and give thanks. Happy November to you all!

My Granny's Pies

My Mama's Delicious Cornbread Dressing Cornbread Recipe: 2 Cups Self Rising Cornmeal 2 Eggs 2 Cups Buttermilk 1/2 cup canola oil Pour oil in cast iron skillet and heat in preheated 375 degree oven until hot, about 10 minutes. Combine cornmeal, eggs, and buttermilk. Stir until just combined. Stir in hot oil and mix. Pour batter into hot cast iron skillet and bake until golden brown. Dressing: 1 Pan Cornbread 2 slices of bread 1 onion chopped 4 stalks of celery chopped 1 bell pepper chopped 4 chicken breasts, skin on 3 cups reserved broth 1/2 stick of melted butter 2 eggs 1-cup milk or heavy cream salt and pepper Cover chicken breasts with water and bring to a boil. Add chopped onions, celery and bell peppers to boiling water. Cook chicken breasts until no longer pink. Remove chicken from broth and cool, reserving both broth and vegetables. Remove meat from chicken breasts. Discard skin. In a large bowl, crumble cornbread and white bread. Stir in 2 beaten eggs, 1 cup of milk, 1 1/2 cups reserved chicken broth, cooked vegetables, melted butter, and season with salt and pepper. My mother calls for 7 shakes of pepper. This can get tricky. Just make sure you use a good bit of pepper. Mix dressing until moist. You may need to add more broth, but not too runny. Add the cooked chicken pieces in the dressing. Bake in preheated 350-degree oven for 1 hour. Stir every 15 to 20 minutes while baking. Add broth if dressing appears to be drying out. This is a delicious dressing. Enjoy!

Aunt Margaret's Chocolate Pumpkin Cheesecake Deluxe 1 1/4 cups graham cracker crumbs 16 oz can pumpkin 2 tbsp sugar 4 eggs 1/2 cup melted butter 1/2 cup evaporated milk 12oz semi-sweet choc chips 1/4 cup cornstarch 24 oz cream cheese 3/4 tsp cinnamon 1-cup sugar 1/8 tsp nutmeg 1/4 cup packed brown sugar Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease a 10-inch springform pan and set aside. Mix together graham cracker crumbs with 2 tbsp sugar and melted butter. Press into the bottom of springform pan and sprinkle with 1 cup of chocolate chips. In a small saucepan over low heat, melt remaining cup of chocolate chips stirring until smooth. In large mixing bowl beat cream cheese with 1 cup of sugar and brown sugar until smooth. Add pumpkin, then beat in eggs one at a time. Add evaporated milk, cornstarch, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Mix until smooth. Remove 1 cup of pumpkin mixture and stir into the melted chocolate chips. Pour cream cheese mixture into springform pan and spoon chocolate pumpkin mixture over the top. Using a spoon swirl the chocolate pumpkin mixture over the top. Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour or until edges of filling is set. Turn off oven and allow cheesecake to remain for about 30 minutes. Remove from oven and cool completely. Cover and chill for several hours. Louisiana Road Trips

Left Over Turkey Chili 1 medium onion, chopped 1 tbsp vegetable oil 2 cloves of garlic, chopped 2 tbsp cumin 1 lb ground turkey 2 tbsp chili powder 3 tbsp tomato paste 28 oz can diced tomatoes 1 cup chicken broth 1/2 cup beer, optional 16 oz red kidney beans, rinsed and drained 1 tsp salt 1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro sour cream, garnish Heat oil in a large skillet, brown ground turkey with onion and garlic until done. Add remaining ingredients except cilantro and reduce heat to simmer for 30 minutes. Stir in cilantro. Chocolate Pie Coconut Pie 1 cup sugar 1cup sugar 2 tbsp cocoa 1 small can coconut 4 tbsp flour 4 tbsp flour 2 cups milk 2 cups milk 3 eggs separated 3 eggs separated 1 tsp vanilla 1 tsp vanilla 1/4 stick butter 1 stick butter Baked pie shell Baked pie shell First, decide which pie to prepare. In a medium saucepan, blend the first three ingredients together. Add 1/3 cup of milk to the mixture and beaten egg yolks; heat over low heat. Stir in remaining milk and cook over low heat; stirring until mixture thickens. (Be sure to stir continually so mixture does not burn on the bottom). Remove from heat. Stir in oleo and vanilla. Pour thickened pudding mixture into baked pie shell (I love the new refrigerated boxed pie shells - they are wonderful). Meringue: 3 egg whites 3 tbsp sugar 1/4 tsp cream of tartar Beat egg whites sprinkled with cream of tartar until peaks form. Gradually add sugar one tablespoon at a time. Beat until peaks form and you can turn bowl upside down and the meringue doesn't fall out. Spread over pie and bake at 325 degrees until meringue is golden.

Aunt Joy's Microwave Chocolate or Coconut Pie My Aunt Joy Belle takes my Granny's pie recipe and prepares it in the microwave so she takes - full credit for this creation. I would have never believed this worked until I tried it - delicious. It tastes just like you stood over the stovetop stirring until perfection and it is quick and easy. Be sure to use a microwave safe bowl (a glass bowl). Chocolate Pie Coconut Pie 1 cup sugar 1cup sugar 2 tbsp cocoa 1 small can coconut 4 tbsp flour 4 tbsp flour 2 cups milk 2 cups milk 3 eggs separated 3 eggs separated 1 tsp vanilla 1 tsp vanilla 1/4 stick butter 1 stick butter Baked pie shell Baked pie shell For chocolate pie: mix dry ingredients together and stir in 1/2cup of milk. Beat egg yokes and set aside. Scald 1 1/2 cups of milk in microwave, then stir in with beaten eggs yokes, stirring constantly and mix into dry ingredient mixture. Microwave on high for 5 minutes. Stir to mix well, continue microwaving for 3 to 4 minutes. Mixture should be thickening. Add butter and stir in til melted. Add vanilla, continue stirring to blend. Pour into pie shell. Allow to cool before adding meringue. For coconut pie: Do same as for chocolate pie but leave out the cocoa. Add the coconut after you have added the butter and is melted. Stir in coconut and mix well, add vanilla. Cool then add meringue.

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Christmas on the River 2010 in MonroeWest Monroe! Catch the holiday spirit in MonroeWest Monroe, Louisiana at Christmas on the River every Saturday from Thanksgiving weekend until Christmas. Join us all month long for the lights that dance to music, ice skating and Santa's Christmas Village at the NELA Children's Museum, live entertainment, shopping and so much more. Start your celebration on November 27 at the Downtown Christmas Marketplace and shop for those one-of-akind gifts on the beautiful Ouachita Riverwalk. Be sure and stop by the Christmas Express Train and visit with Santa as he makes his way across the US by rail. Then head over to Antique Alley for a special performance by the First West Choir, the official lighting ceremony, and the first Little Miss Christmas on the River Pageant. The next weekend brings the OIB Festival Weekend with events for the whole family to enjoy. On Thursday, take a bit of local culture at the Downtown Gallery Crawl. Follow that up Friday and catch the Twin City Ballet's performance of The New Adventures of Buddy the Elf. Then get ready for Saturday. The day begins with the Scrooge Bah Humbug 5K run. Then it all goes to the dogs when the Pawrade makes its way down Trenton Street. The day continues with a Chili Cook-Off and the OIB Christmas Parade presented by the Kiwanis. Get ready to boogie at the Louisiana Lottery Stage with live entertainment and a street dance. Then end the night with the OIB Fireworks presented by the Monroe Jaycees. December 11 brings great shopping opportunities with special shopping discounts offered from several merchants in Antique Alley. Be sure to visit the Biedenharn Museum and Gardens for their Christmas Open House with beautiful holiday décor throughout. And don't forget to shop for unique items in the Museum Store. Take the Downtown Monroe Christmas Tour and stick around for the Downtown Cinema for a showing of the holiday film, Elf. The ever-popular old-fashioned weekend is back again with Antique Alley store owners dressed in period costumes and hayrides. Carolers singing on the corner only add to the merriment. In the

afternoon, be sure to look for the Antique Car Cruise and Show. These are only a sample of the events in Monroe-West Monroe to help you get in the Louisiana Road Trips

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Christmas Spirit. For a full list of events, visit our website, www.christmasontheriver.org, or call the Monroe-West Monroe Convention and Visitors Bureau at 800-843-1872.

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RIVER SCAPE A Miracle on South Grand Street! By Lee Estes

passing broken windows, the further I went the hotel in downtown Monroe so this is where the For many years vision part comes in. An eighty year old building the little pink penthouse heavier the pigeon droppings became. The has lots of areas, electrical, plumbing, heating & atop the Penn Hotel was Penthouse level showed how little respect vandals have for someone's property. Damage was extensive, cooling, and an elevator. All of these things must the signature landmark on the Monroe skyline. including graffiti all over the penthouse, inside and be redesigned and bought up to code placing a There was a time when the "Penthouse on the strain on financial resources. Combined, it makes Penn" was one consider tearing it down and building regarded as the something else that is usually ugly and lacking nicest hotel structural integrity, or as was the case with the accommodation Paramount Theater, nothing at all. in the city. If a A visit to the property today, now renamed celebrity came River Scape, is a revelation and a sparkling to town they signature on the Monroe Skyline. The Penthouse usually stayed is no longer pink but doubled in size and painted there with the white with a red metal roof. It has been best view of redesigned with nearly 3000 feet of living space Monroe and the and serves as home to the owner. Six floors, once Ouachita River, Louisiana Monroe Penthouse on Penn (1994) Comopare this with the black and white taken about 16 years ago filled with small hotel guest rooms, have been such as Jane converted into deluxe condominiums overlooking out, some very offensive. Russell and Guy Lombardo. Rumors floated that With the passing of time, any vacant property the Ouachita. Each floor has space for two Elvis Presley once stayed here but that is hardly will deteriorate. One broken window become two, properties and one third have been contracted for likely. Elvis did perform in Monroe during the then three, until nearly all are broken. After years occupancy and can be custom designed. These early stages of his career but where he stayed is a of discussion among preser-vationists and those properties feature a deluxe kitchen, grand bath mystery. During the tenure of the Paramount who would rather demolish than preserve, and a plus a walk in shower, and living and sleeping Theater on DeSiard Street, many top performers short occupancy by the Parish Police Jury of some space bound to be the envied. The second floor of the 1920's and 30's visited Monroe and where ground floor area, the building was rescued by an that once served as an indoor parking garage for they spent the night is only a guess. Another angel named Melody Olson. the hotel is being converted into a club for River rumor says Bonnie Before describing the Scape residents Parker and Clyde transformation, let's look at some with a vintage Barrow may have history. Hotels have always sprung juke box and stayed in the Penn; up near public transportation. complete kitchen quite plausible since the During Monroe's early years, and bar facilities. hotel had an inside steamboats on the Ouachita were, The property is garage to hide their car. in addition to rail and horseback, also equipped Not likely they the primary means of getting around. with a state of occupied the Penthouse. Consequently, a hotel was built facing the the art The 1960's and 70's were not kind to river on South Grand Street. The building surveillance downtown Monroe, as motels along Louisville stills stands with the Penn, dating from system. If you are Avenue and auto traffic in preference to rail left the Living area in River Scape apartment. 1927, adjacent. Several names, reflecting in downtown hotels vacant and the four major hotels eventually the desire of different owners, graced the premises Monroe, stop in and take a look. closed. Fortunately, two of them, the Frances and I've heard remarks about River Scape's such as Monroe Hotel, Grand Hotel, Earle Hotel, Virginia, were converted to other purposes. Another, location such as the dangers of downtown. It's just the Alvis, suffered two fires and demolition. That left and Magnolia Hotel. One is still embedded in the as safe as any other place with the revitalization sidewalk along South Grand. The Penn, nine the Penn alone and endangered from vandalism and perhaps worse, invasion by pigeons. Both made their stories including the Penthouse, overshadowed the brought on by Vantage Health Care, St. Francis older structures. The name Penn did not come into Medical Center, a number of art galleries, and impression when I photographed the property in efforts by the city. There is an attractiveness once play until purchased by Charlie Penn sometime 1995. As I climbed the stairs to the Penthouse, thought to be forever gone. Among the best around mid 20th century. Once something of this projects in the works is a riverfront market where magnitude and condition is more than one hundred vendors have already been acquired, the new owner enlisted. Imagine that - all kinds of goods and must have sheer produce for sale with the Ouachita River alongside. determination, vision, and, of Makes you think of the left bank in Paris! course, financial resources. Lee Estes, a Kentucky native, migrated to Louisiana in Then comes cleaning up the 1956 with his wife, Lottie. He worked in aviation then with mess throughout, followed A&LM Railway. He began making photographs in Europe after WWII and ranked among the leading monochrome by replacing more than two exhibition photographers in the U.S. during the 80’s. His hundred windows around extensive travels included leading tours across the globe. the property. That tests the determination part. Then you Lee has authored three photo/documentary books and is currently involved with the documentation of The Dixie must design a master plan. Overland Highway (US80) in Louisiana, funded by a grant There is no demand for a from the Louisiana Endowment for the Humanities

The building was rescued by an angel named Melody Olson.

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Holidays at Biedenharn Museum and Gardens The holiday season gets an early start at the Biedenharn Museum and Gardens in Monroe, and continues through the New Year. Executive Director Ralph Calhoun says the schedule is packed with activities, performances, and tours. First up is an outdoor production of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet by Strauss Theatre's Young Troupe. Executive Director Steve Barton has given the classic a Wild West twist by setting the action in Verona, Texas instead of Verona, Italy. Tickets for the 2pm performance are $5 for students and $10 for adults, and are available at Strauss Theatre, 1300 Lamy Lane in Monroe, or by calling (318) 323-6681. Back by popular demand on Tuesday, Nov. 16 is the Museum's Thanksgiving Tablescapes. Gregory Hudgins demonstrates floral creations and ideas to inspire holiday table settings and décor, and participants will also enjoy a festive holiday meal. Reservations of $20 per person are required and can be made in person or by calling The Museum Store at (318) 807-3210. The Monroe Garden Study League decorates the Biedenharn Home for Christmas again this year, with tours beginning Dec. 4. This year's theme, “For Unto Us a Child Is Born,” focuses on the Biblical Nativity story; decorations in each room are based on Scripture. Tours are just $3 per person. Christmas Open House evening hours are 5-8pm, Dec. 9-11 with entertainment in the Music Room. $3 per person. The Bible Museum but not the Coke Museum will also be open during these hours. For more information, call (318) 387-5281 or visit www.bmuseum.org.

No Table Scraps for Pets! It's time for holiday parties and large traditional dinners. But as much as you may want to include your pet in this fun, feeding him a few treats from the table is not the way. Table food is too fatty for the digestive systems of most animals and can lead to severe stomach upsets, occasionally triggering possibly fatal pancreatic inflammation. To keep your pet safe this season, remember the following: - Chicken and turkey bones can splinter and puncture the stomach or intestines. - Don't fill the dog's bowl with table scraps. Most are too fatty for an animal's digestive system. - Don't give chocolate to your dog; it can be toxic. - Put garbage in tightly covered cans to prevent your dog from making a meal of your discards. - Call your vet if your pet shows signs of stomach upset, diarrhea or vomiting.

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On the Scene

National World War II Museum Paying Thanks to Our Veterans By Deborah Burst The National WWII Museum is dedicated to celebrating the American spirit and paying tribute to the men and women who fought on the battlefront and beyond. In 2003 the museum gained the distinction of becoming “America's National World War II Museum,” and has been growing ever since. Last year marked a milestone in completing the first phase of a $300 million expansion project. The Victory Theater, Stage Door Canteen and the American Sector Bar & Café offer a full venue of nostalgic entertainment set inside America's wartime years. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to gather the family and honor a generation of heroes. Explore the massive Louisiana Memorial Pavilion featuring the tools of warfare including the famous Higgins landing craft. More than 20,000 boats were designed and built in New Orleans and used in all the amphibious landings of WWII. Dwight Eisenhower credited these boats with winning the war for the Allies. Other artifacts include a Sherman tank, jeeps, halftracks and a fully restored C-47. Continue your visit with permanent exhibit galleries located on the second and third floor of the Museum and divided into four areas: The Home Front, Planning for DDay, The D-Day Beaches and DDay lobby with tank & plane The D-Day

Invasions in the Pacific. In addition the Malcolm S. Forbes Theater features two alternating films focusing on the D-Day invasions at Normandy and in the Pacific, The Price for Peace and D-Day Remembered. Solomon Victory Theater - Relive the 20th-century's most epic battles in the film “Beyond All Boundaries” inside the new Solomon Victory Theater. The Museum recruited Hollywood technicians from Disney and Universal creating a 4-D multi-sensory presentation shown on a 120-foot screen. It's a 42 minute journey through the entire war utilizing archival films and narrated by war veterans and reporters along with Tom Hanks, the Executive Producer, and some of Hollywood's top stars. The 4-D effects use life-sized Theater Screen props, animation and atmospherics. Audiences will feel tanks rumbling across North Africa's deserts, wipe away snowflakes trailing troops at the Battle of the Bulge, and flinch during aircraft dog fights in bombing raids over Nazi Germany. Stage Door Canteen - Next door theater-goers can decompress inside the Stage Door Canteen, a recreation of a 1940s USO club that entertained

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troops during the war. Patrons can enjoy lunch provided in the company of the Victory Belles as they sing WWII-era classics in three part harmony. On the weekends sip cocktails while watching Let Freedom Swing, a 40s style show of jazz, sass and swing. And November 26 through January 16, the Victory Belles celebrate the season with holiday hits. American Sector Bar & Café - Take a break from the museum for lunch or dinner at the American Sector Restaurant, a Chef John Besh restaurant honoring American cuisine. To fully appreciate the décor enter on the Magazine Street entrance past walls of vintage photos of 1940 movie greats: Clark Gable in his army uniform, Betty Davis, Carol Lombard, and many more. Fashioned around a mid-twentieth century soda fountain, the décor and the menu present a nostalgic dining experience. There's something for the entire family from hot dogs to hamburgers or the Crab Buster (light batter soft shell crab) on a bed of jalapeno cheese grits. And be sure to try their homemade Sector Sodas or milk shakes along with the $7 kids lunch box menu. The Victory Theater complex is only the first phase in a new six-acre 300,000 squarefoot campus. When completed by 2015, the Museum will boast four additional exhibition buildings as well as space for traveling collections and a parade ground. For more information, call 877813-3329 or 504-527-6012 or visit www.nationalww2museum.org.

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An award winning writer and photographer, Deb began her new career in journalism after earning a media degree at Tulane University in 2003. A New Orleans native, she now lives in the piney woods of Mandeville and enjoys working with aspiring young minds across the state.


Crowley Main Street's Fall Fest Crowley Main Street will celebrate their 3rd Annual Main to Main Fall Fest on Thursday, November 4, 2010 at 6:30pm at The Grand Opera House of the South located at 505 N. Parkerson Avenue. Main to Main is a celebration of all the Louisiana Main Street communities throughout the month of November and is designed to stimulate cultural tourism throughout the state and foster economic development. Crowley's Main to Main Fall Fest theme is An Evening with the Arts & a Taste of Cuisine. Included will be art displays by the Crowley Art Association a silent auction to benefit the association's programming for Acadia Parish. The Crowley Garden Club will participate in this much anticipated affair and will display floral arrangements to interpret the art. In Harmony Jazz Band from Baton Rouge will provide entertainment for the evening. Along with the arts and music, tasty cuisine will be supplied by local chefs. This event is open to the general public and tickets may be purchased from Crowley Main Street at 788-4123, Crowley City Hall at 783-0824 and The Gallery at 783-3747 at a cost of $10. This affair was very well received last year and we look forward to even greater participation this year. We look forward to your ongoing support as we continue to celebrate our culture, our heritage and our community. This event is sponsored in part by a grant from the Office of the Lieutenant Governor, Office of Cultural Recreation and Tourism; and also supported by a grant from the Louisiana Division of the Arts, Office of Cultural Development, Department of Culture, Recreation and Tourism in cooperation with the Louisiana State Arts Council as administered by the Acadiana Center for the Arts. It is cosponsored the City of Crowley.

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6th Annual Starry November Night Welcomes Santa Claus Back to Downtown Hammond This November, Downtown Hammond will host to the jolly man in red once again during the 6th Annual Starry November Night. The community event will feature many holiday festivities as well as an art stroll and wine tasting through the Downtown businesses. Starry November Night will take place on Friday, November 19 from 5 to 9pm and is open to the public. Guests are invited to visit with Santa Claus, play in the

“snow,” listen to live holiday music by the U.S. Navy Band “Full Steam Brass Band” on the La Carreta stage, take a ride on the horse-drawn carriage, spend time stargazing with the Pontchartrain Astronomy Society, take the art stroll and taste various wines hosted by the district businesses, dine at some of the finest restaurants in the region, and enjoy incredible holiday sales on unique gift items. There is no cost to attend,

Louisiana Road Trips

but anyone (21 and older) participating in the wine tasting will need to purchase a wristband and tasting glass for $20. Identification for verifying age will be required. Downtown business owners are already gearing up for the big night, making plans for new products in the stores, special sales and inventive activities for guests. The Oak Street Gallery will host 20 regional artists' exhibits, and author Katie

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Wainwright will be at the Hammond Regional Arts Center for a book signing along with the annual “Fine and Functional” art exhibition. Information regarding Starry November Night is available online at www.dddhammond.com or by calling the Hammond Downtown Development District at (985) 542-3471.


RUNNIN’ THE ROADS

By Barbara Sharik

Keeping the Cell Phone Charged When it comes to cell phones, I'm a Neanderthal. Years ago I had one of the first fancy flip phones with a calling plan and everything available at that time. Prior to that was the car phone, but I learned that lesson the hard way, they don't work if the car motor's not running. When hit head-on and the motor died, so did the phone. When the cost of the calling plan exceeded my cheapskate nature, I hit upon the Tracfone, about ten years ago. Nowadays there are many dirt-cheap disposable phones not requiring contracts but plenty of talktime for the buck. Perfect for a person who doesn't like talking on the telephone. I don't need fancy phones with multiple features too complicated for old ladies like me anyway. I use my camera to take photos. Not my phone. I don't text. I use my opposable thumbs to type on the computer, not on my telephone. Although, admittedly, since I've gotten acquainted with about a thousand folks on Facebook, it might be kind of cool to be able to access it away from home. But, banish that thought. It's way too cost prohibitive. When my phone rings, it's with its original ding-aling. Not some fancy downloaded ringtone. Although listening to Adam Lambert belt out a ballad would be good, nobody ever calls me anyway. And if they did, my phone's usually in my purse and my purse is usually wherever I'm not unless I'm at the store and who needs to talk on the phone when they're shopping? I'm a onetrick pony. I shop I shop. I talk I talk. I know there's a way to set up voicemail so people can leave messages that I oughta be able to retrieve but I haven't figured that out yet. There's no telling how many long-lost messages are floating around out there. I advise anyone who calls my cell phone not to leave a

message. I won't ever get it. Even my house phone answering machine message simply says: “If talking to a phone doesn't make you feel stupid, go ahead and talk to mine.” I don't promise to call anybody back. What I can do is add minutes myownself. When Tracfone first emerged on the scene, I called the 800 number and after the outsourced guy at the other end and I traded a fair amount of “Huh's?” my minutes eventually got added. As Tracfone caught on, I was able to add minutes via my computer. Simple as that was, this was back in the Internet dialup days; so when it finally became available to upload from my telephone, I was pleased as the proverbial punch. Buy a card, scratch off to reveal the PIN and enter it into the phone and within minutes, minutes are added. A few years ago, it cost me about $7 a month. Curse inflation, now it costs me about $10 a month to use my cell phone. All you texting, phototaking, long-winded folks, eat your hearts out. Betcha a dollar to a donut your cell phone bill is more than $10 a month. Ah, despite all my singing out of tune praising, there are two glitches in the gumbo.

I'm a onetrick pony. I shop I shop. I talk I talk.

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Oh, it's not the telephone. It's me. I could never depend on a cell phone as my only phone, as many people do. For one, my cell phone's always in my purse, as I previously mentioned, otherwise I'd forget to take it with me when I leave the house. The other thing is that cell phones must be charged regularly. How can I remember to charge a phone that's in my purse? Consequently, mine's always going dead. But, in an attempt to outwit myownself and have a phone at the ready, I simply got a second Tracfone. If one runs out of juice, there's always the other. Have both phones ever died simultaneously? Have I ever considered a third phone? I refuse to answer on the grounds it would definitely incriminate me. I know it's nuts. Somebody with an aversion to telephones, and I've got two on me at all times. Go figure. Barbara Sharik makes her home at Wit's End in Jones, Louisiana with a couple old dogs, young dogs and several stupid dogs, a cat, a talking cockatiel and a white dove. She's active in civic affairs, serves as a Justice of the Peace, a Notary Public, is the Clerk for the Village of Bonita and a columnist for the Bastrop Daily Enterprise. She has authored several books. You can e-mail Barbara at barbsharikvail@hotmail.com.

K C A B K TAL

I do enjoy your writing [contributor Larry Brock]. I also enjoyed several other articles, especially the ones by Dianne Newcomer and Mae Flager. Thanks and best wishes. Dr. Rose

I'm always so pleased to see articles on events in Marshall and Jefferson, Texas. I live just west of Shreveport but like most Louisianans, enjoy day trips to these charming little Texas towns. Brenda, via e-mail Good to you see [Mona Hayden] writing more. I know you're very busy with behind-the-scenes work but your article on New Orleans and the safety of LA seafood was great. We really appreciate your support and goodwill. Best of luck! Jack S., Baton Rouge Please renew my subscription to LRT. This is probably the best money I've ever spent on a magazine. Terry H., Jonesboro Your writers are on target with their articles. I usually get several new ideas for a road trip or festival and am having fun seeing parts of Louisiana I had never even heard of! Thanks. Jessica P., Gretna Dear Barbara [Sharik], This morning I heard the sound of my husband laughing through the house. I went to see what was so funny. Of course I found him sitting on the toilet reading a paper... Later, he says, "Here, you've got to read this, the Dog Chow Diet." I could hardly finish reading it from laughing so hard...Thank you for sharing your humor. Sharon, via email

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Can a Duck Guide Fly? By Johnny Wink

The mornings are a little cooler now and that's got all the hunters fired up. Teal season is over and bow hunting has just started. The goose and duck season is still weeks away so it's a little early to work on our pits but now we're offering deer hunts with the duck and goose hunts. Selling deer hunts means doing all that's involved with making nice setups to hunt from. All the food plots are disked and planted and fertilized. We've been a little worried about it being so dry, but hopefully we'll have a good stand of wheat and rye grass. We need rain. Bad. We worked on a new box stand that I moved all the way from Meridian, Mississippi. This tow man stand sits on a 4x4 and is 8-feet tall and very heavy. Digging the holes for the legs to fit in, I thought I was going to die, even with help. The help didn't like the posthole digger idea either. The dirt was like concrete but the stand is up. The food plot is ready. All we need is a little rain and opening day and the big bucks will be standing in line to get on the Megabucks grills. I can't wait to eat some fried deer steak and some deer sausage. Mmmm-good. But first, everything has to be just right. A job that has to be done every year before the season starts is to go in and clean the stands out. Most have some dry mud or maybe a wasp nest or two. My stands have good windows so there should not be anything alive in them. These stands are about 8- feet off the ground with wooden steps on a wooden ladder at a slight lean connected to the box itself. Well, the day that I decided to do this, LSU

was playing Tennessee and y'all probably remember the closing seconds of the game. They missed running the ball in and then just stood there trying to figure out what to do. The center hiked the ball and Tennessee got the ball. Game over. Right. Well, at that point I got up, yelled and turned the TV off. I was real mad. How could a team as big as LSU not understand to call more than one play if the first doesn't work? Oh, that's right -- LSU does that all the time and that makes duck guides go and work on their deer stands with a very bad attitude. So, as I was killing poor little wasps and spiders and cleaning out the dry mud and such, I finally came to my last stand on a pipeline in the woods. This is the stand all the hunters want to get in. Did I say I was still real mad about the LSU game? Yes, I was. I pulled up to the stand right next to the steps so all I had to do was open the door and walk right up the ladder. It was getting dark so I knew I'd best hurry on this one. All my stands have combination locks on them. So up I went with a broom and a dust pan. After I took the lock off, I then had a broom, dust pan and a lock in one hand and with the other hand, I opened the door. I was up 8-feet high and my truck was under me. My head was about the same level as the stand floor. And as I opened the door, I saw a ground rattle snake on the floor about 12-inches from my face. It jumped at me and I went backwards with all the stuff I had in my hands. I dropped everything and somehow remembered to slam the door shut while I was flying off the ladder. My mind did not tell me to go backwards because I knew I would fall so I guess I had to blame it on my body. I heard sometimes your body will do stuff to protect itself without your mind telling it to. While falling I remembered the truck under me and that it might hurt when I hit it. And you know, I was right. I hit my truck right above the back tire. I hit it with my side with my arm in between. After the hurt, I remembered I still had a snake somewhere. My first thought was, I wonder if he fell like me; was he here with me or was he still in the stand? My shoulder and my wrist were really hurting and as I looked up I saw that I had slammed the door on the snake and he was stuck there. Talk about blind luck. Dumb luck. Whatever kind, it was lucky! He was just a swinging back and forth, trying to get away. All I had was a broom. I opened the door with the broom and started to whack him in the head until he had no more head. Ok, the snake is dead. So I went up to see what else was in the blind. Nothing else was alive. I

Did I say I was still real mad about the LSU game?

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guess the snake was eating frogs that get in the blind. And I guess he couldn't get out. Of course, he had a nice setup. All the frogs he could eat and a nice dry place. Completely undisturbed. After I finished cleaning the stand and locked it up, I climbed down the ladder and saw this huge dent in the side of my truck. Now, I was really mad at the LSU Tigers and the snake. I don't know how a ground rattler got up in a box stand. Isn't his name ground rattler, not above-ground, up in a deer stand, rattler? And don't forget my shoulder and wrist were killing me. I still can't figure out how my body made that big of a dent in my truck. So I left and went back home where I took a shower and came out not with the best attitude. I sat down and turned the TV on to watch ESPN to hear the anchor say that the LSU Tigers won a very bizarre game. After a commercial they showed what I didn't see because I was so mad and turned the TV off earlier. Tennessee had 13 men on the field and LSU had one more play. This time they scored. The Tennessee coach went crazy: You won. Wait. No, you don't win. Yes, you win now. Say what? So LSU got the win and I was mad for nothing and my shoulder and wrist are not hurting as much now. If I hadn't turned the TV off when I did, do you think I would have flown out of the deer stand? Or would I have been lazy and gotten bit by the snake? Anyway, a week later, LSU beat Florida in a last second win again. But I am leaving the house because the Saints just lost to Arizona and I am going to see if I can fly again. But this time I won't leave my truck anywhere near me or under me. If I'm going to fly, I want the runway clear. Life is good being a duck guide in Jones, Louisiana.

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ALL THINGS SOUTHERN

By Shellie Tomlinson

Pass the Tofurky? Hello folks, and a great big Happy Thanksgiving to you! I'm delighted to be back in the pages of Road Trips! We need to chat...~ smile~ There's a reason I'm so happy to have a chance to visit with y'all, I mean beyond the usual pleasure of getting together with friends. See, I was hoping to do some damage control. My little southern celebration continues to grow. We're now reaching into regions of our shrinking world that don't quite know how to take my good natured humor. Several Internet visitors, (who have obviously spent considerable time in

All Things Southern “Bringing you the charm and heritage of the South…” ph 318-559-0319 • cell 319-282-2508 tomtom@allthingssouthern.com

the archives), have suggested that I, your happy hostess, am not taking the need to save this planet seriously enough and, get this, I'm encouraging a throw away mentality that's filling up our landfills! Heaven forbid! I was raised that wasteful was next door to sinful. The southern women in my family have made an art out of stretching groceries. Why, just watching them gives one an inkling of the astonishment the disciples must've felt when they saw the Good Lord feed five thousand people with a couple fish fillets and a few pones of cornbread. Honestly, not being wasteful is so engrained in my DNA I like to have never allowed myself to throw away those weird soft drinks that sweet Jones Soda Company sent me two years runnin'. I kept 'em in the door of my fridge for months like I halfexpected someone to drag into the kitchen and say, “I'd give my last dollar for a swig of Green Bean Casserole Soda!”

Trust me, we know how to stretch food ¬and reinvent leftovers. Which, speaking of reinventing food, my friend Paulette suggested I could go a long way towards redeeming myself in the global community by announcing a change to my traditional Thanksgiving menu. She thinks I should serve Tofurky. That's what I said. Paulette said Tofurky is a loaf of tofu, creamed soybeans, shaped like a turkey. Yum. I did some research of my own and, color me confused, hundreds of thousands of Tofurkies will be consumed this Thanksgiving - just not in my dining room. I'm as interested in saving the planet as the next person and I do like to get along, but by golly I'm cooking a real bird. If it makes anyone feel better, 'ya got my word on this: we won't waste a sad bite! Happy Thanksgiving friends! When I count my blessings, I'm gonna count y'all twice! ~Hugs, Shellie

The Legend of the Pargoud Indian Mound By Lora Peppers

Down Island Drive, where Bayou DeSiard meets the Ouachita River, is a small Indian mound. It is four hundred feet north of Upper Pargoud Plantation on land originally owned by Hypolite Pargoud. In the 1800's it was a picnic spot for Monroe residents who would climb aboard a steamboat and dock at Pargoud landing. Festivities would last into the night. In the midseventies the mound was excavated by Dr. Glen Greene, a professor at ULM, and his archaeology students. They found beads, pottery and arrowheads, but no human remains. This was a deep disappointment for some local residents, who

had been told the story of a beautiful Indian maiden named Wichita who had fallen in love with Juan Ortigo, a Spanish explorer. In 1887, Judge A.A. Gunby wrote one of his many poems and published it in the newspaper. It was called “The Legend of Pargoud's Mound”. In it, he recites the tale of Wichita and Ortigo. The poem begins by talking about the parties that were held around the mound. “Under the Walnut trees that grow, Around the mound, we often share, With sturdy men and ladies fair, At dinners, fries and picnics rare.” He then begins to tell the story. Something more than three hundred years Have passed since daring Narvaez And his bold band of volunteers In Indian warfare met their death, Saved Juan Ortigo who was taken A prisoner when the rest were slain. Gunby describes Juan as a man of “fine physique and comely face, His brow was broad, his frame was grand, And full of rich Hidalgan grace, His long dark locks were just too nice, His soft moustache was “certainlee” - And all the joys of paradise, Were centered in his fine goatee!” Ortigo was about to be burned at the stake when the fair Wichita exclaimed, “Oh spare the prisoner, Father wise! 'Twill to your name more honor give, To let the conquered humble live.” Wichita was in love with the young man. It seems her love was returned. Now Juan was neither saint nor fool,

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but fell in love at once himself, And married her by Indian rule. His Spanish wife laid on the shelf. The two lived happily together until Hernando DeSoto came through the area. To hunt for priceless pearls and gold, And Juan skipped out to search for fame And wealth with those marauders bold. Poor Wichita began to pine away. Her father, Ucita tried to lift her spirits, but the inevitable happened. Ucita wandered far and wide And clothed her well in bison's hide, And tried to rouse her family pride. But still she wasted in her youth And showed to all the fatal truth. When spring was fairest her spirit rose Above her frame and all its woes. They built for her this Pargoud's Mound And made it ever sacred ground. To see the complete poem, come by the Ouachita Parish Public Library's Genealogy Room and look at the microfilm of the Monroe Morning Post, July 28, 1929, Page 3. Lora Peppers, a Monroe native, grew up in Bastrop and graduated from ULM. Her love of history dates back to childhood when one of her favorite activities was visiting local cemeteries to examine headstones. She also loves to travel, the Great Smoky Mountains National Park being her favorite place on Earth. Her job as a genealogist and historian has given her the opportunity to lead many lectures and author several books. She can be reached by e-mail at loradpeppers@hotmail.com.

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Inglewood Farms

Sowing seeds for a healthy, sustainable future By Deborah Burst

Traveling west on I-10 the setting sun drenches the highway as we pass goldenrod cattle pastures and towering sugar cane fields. My husband, Michael, and I head to Natchitoches on a culinary trail and a lesson in Louisiana's infinite bounty. The farmland gives way to water as the highway spills into the Atchafalaya Swamp Freeway. We lift off the ground flying through a crimson glow of cypress trees set against a deep blue sky. And a lone fisherman scoots across the swamp for his daily haul of seafood. We touch ground and head north on I-49 and watch painted hardwoods roll along charcoal colored highways. Soon the hilly terrain breaks free to a white blur of cotton fields. Every mile is a history lesson told by farmers and locals who work in harmony with the land. It's a huge weekend for Natchitoches with the annual St. Augustine Church Fair and tours of historic homes and plantations. Inside the church cafeteria I interview Cane River Creoles and sample their gumbo, meat pies and butter pecan cakes. They tell me how generations use fresh produce straight from their farms and gardens--okra, corn, and cayenne peppers. Most have relatives well into their 90s and credit their fountain of youth on wholesome country living and dedication to their church. And who could argue. Taking ownership for a healthier life should be everyone's priority, but the agricultural revolution has shrunk our family-owned sustainable farms. However, consumer's demand for fresher ingredients has brought a rise to more traditional farming without the toxic effects of chemicals. Sustainable farmers work with the basic essentials of the sun, pure water, clean air and sweet grass. One of those innovative minds is Corwith Davis III, third generation of Inglewood Farms owned and operated by the Keller family since the 1940s. We leave Natchitoches on our way to Inglewood Plantation in Alexandria to visit with Corwith and discuss his master plan to convert the business from a commercial tenant farming operation to a sustainable agricultural production.

Corwith hopes to set an example for other farms in Central Louisiana as they, like most agricultural regions throughout the country, engage almost exclusively in commodity production using chemicals. Although the current system has done a good job in feeding a rapidly expanding population, Corwith believes sustainable production should be the new paradigm for US agriculture over the next century. “The unintended negative externalities of the current system on food safety, nutrition, farming communities, and farmland become more and more clear,” says Corwith. “Our duty of stewardship to the beloved tract of farmland that god and our forebears have given us and our duty of citizenship to our community and the planet are moving us in the direction of sustainable agriculture.” Tractors plow dusty rows of rose colored soil as Inglewood dedicates 150 acres of the plantation solely to sustainable production. The 3500 acre estate is bordered by double rows of pecan groves ripe with curled hulls. It's mid October and Corwith says a good rain should help prepare the pecans for harvesting. “One of the pillars of “sustainable” production is that it be economically sustainable in its ability to sustain the livelihood of farmers and farming communities,” explains Corwith. “We will first prove the economic viability before transitioning other croplands into sustainable production.”

Taking ownership for a healthier life should be everyone's priority.

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Across the open fields, past the double silos and vintage red barns, a thick strand of trees stand tall against the sky. Working in concert with the environment, Inglewood set aside 1,000 acres of bottomland hardwoods and wetlands in the Caroline G. Theus Nature Preserve. It's a flourishing ecosystem home to song birds, egrets, sandhill cranes, roseate spoonbills, great horned owls and many other varieties. Geographically, Alexandria is less than four hours from any point of the state offering a distinct advantage over national grocery chains and their standard practice of bringing in foods from California and beyond. And central Louisiana's climate allows Inglewood to harvest during periods of national wholesale shortages. The Inglewood vegetables, eggs and meats will be fresher and healthier minus the harmful effects of standard commercial production. Follow Inglewood Farm via their website or newsletter. Order freshly harvested pecan bags and gift boxes now for the holidays and look for vegetables and eggs coming in 2011. www.inglewoodfarm.com or 318-442-6398 Natchitoches Parish tourism, www.historicnatchitoches.com, 318-352-8072, 800-259-1714 Deborah Burst, freelance writer and photographer, lives and writes in the piney woods of Mandeville. After a 30year stint in banking, she graduated from Tulane in 2003. Her work has appeared in regional, national, and international publications. A personal translator blessed with an emotional art form, Deb discovers the food, culture, and people along the backroads each month in Louisiana Road Trips.

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MY FAVORITE FISHING HOLE

By Pro Guide, Joe Joslin

Toledo's Fall Suspended Bass Cloudiness can improve fishing on my favorite fishing hole and helps to keep temperatures down and on any fishery with clear, deep water it usually improves fishing. It is common in the fall to get a little more cloud cover especially in the mornings and this oftentimes results in the bass population moving

somewhat shallower. It also causes more bass to suspend which means they move off bottom structure and move up in the water column. On one main lake worm hole recently, every bass we caught was suspended and hit the worm on the fall which means they hit it before it got to the bottom. If the worm made it to the bottom they would not hit it so we would just cast, let it fall, shake it a time or two on the bottom, reel up and cast again. With bass suspended off the bottom, the crankbait also has been good and it is producing quality fish. On cloudy days we are starting on main lake points with DD22s and DD14s which are deep diving crankbaits by Norman lures. Norman also makes a middiver....the famous Little N. This is just one family of quality crankbaits on the market today and come with excellent hardware and super sharp strong hooks. They are also affordable

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running from $5 to $8 instead of $15 to $20 like some of the other more expensive models which offer no DeRidder, LA angler more, or in some David Brown with cases, not as much. Dr. a huge crankbait bass The color options caught recently on Bill Norman's Baby N. on the DD Series are almost endless and I have caught bass on many of them. My top colors are bumble bee, fire tiger, sexy shad, blue/chartreuse and white/green flake (#141 on color chart). A crank bait is almost an ideal bait for suspended bass as they dive quickly and keep the bait in the sweet spot when bass are suspended. The only thing not ideal about a deep diving c.b. is they require a lot of effort to fish them for extended periods of time. Too many anglers throw them for 10 minutes and then lay them down. Having the correct rod/reel makes this job much easier. Like many anglers who are serious about deep cranking, I prefer a slow retrieve reel and in my opinion there is no better slow-cranking reel on the market than Abu Garcia's Revo Winch. With this reel and a high quality medium action rod I can crank for hours. Don't just take my word for it as the Abu Garcia Revo Winch beat out the competition in a recent shoot out of all of the top deep cranking reels. For the details go to www.tackletour.com. This reel is also ideal for throwing large swimbaits. Joe Joslin is a syndicated outdoor columnist, tournament angler and pro guide on Toledo and Sam Rayburn. Contact him at 337-463-3848 or joejoslinoutdoors@yahoo.com . and WEBSITE www.joejoslinoutdoors.com


Louisiana 4-H Museum By Cheré Coen

In the early part of the 20th century, youth were offered hybrid corn seeds in statewide corn clubs to help educate the next generation of farmers. On Feb. 8, 1908, several members of the Avoyelles Parish corn clubs met in Moreauville to form what is now Louisiana 4-H. One person in attendance was Henry St. Romain. “Eventually, all of these clubs became known as 4-H clubs,” said Rose Anne St. Romain, granddaughter of Henry and a passionate advocate of 4-H today. St. Romain is the museum coordinator of the Louisiana 4-H Museum located at 8592 Highway 1 in Mansura, next to the Avoyelles Commission of Tourism office. The museum, as well as today's 4-H clubs in Louisiana, is administered by the LSU Ag Center. Times have changed for 4-H, St. Romain explained, and today's members focus more on leadership, citizenship and life skills, although children still learn about caring for animals and working in partnership with the environment. There are about 50,000 youth participating in school clubs today, with 225,000 youth taking part in some aspect of 4-H curriculum throughout Louisiana. The museum, however, provides a history of the 4-H experience with photos, memorabilia, a timeline, interactive displays, a massive mural along one wall and the 4-H Hall of Fame. It's located in Mansur because 4-

H was born in Avoyelles Parish, St. Romain said. There's even a miniature “Louisiana 4-H on Parade” featuring floats representing 4-H missions such as “environment stewards,” “citizenship” and “the great outdoors.” “We have a small museum and a lot of stories so we developed a small parade,” St. Romain explained. Plans are in the works for computer screens to have maps of each parish and when visitors click on the individual parish, information, history and photos from that parish will be shown. Now, the museum offers shelves holding memorabilia from each parish. The museum hosts schoolchildren often and in its middle lies seating to resemble logs so children can enjoy a puppet show featuring Frankie the 4-H Fox who lives at 4-H camp and explains 4-H, including defining what each H means inside the club's logo of a four-leaf clover - head, hands, heart and health. The Louisiana 4-H Museum is open from 8:30am to 4pm Monday through Friday and from 10am to 2pm the first and third Saturdays of the month. Admission is $3, free to children under age 3. For more information, call (318) 964-2245 or email 4HMuseum@agcenter.lus.edu.

Sharing the Gift of Bounty By Mae Flager

The sound of lawnmowers are gradually being replaced by leaf blowers as temperatures creep lower and put us all in a holiday mindset. November sees Mother Nature shaking loose the dead leaves in preparation for her new winter cloak. We can help her in the transition in our own gardens by pulling out the last summer annuals that might be hanging on and re-mulching the beds to over winter. You can refresh the beds with cool season annuals like kale, pansies, phlox, petunias, verbena, and snapdragons. It's also time to sow seeds for spring wildflowers. Some of my favorites are bachelor buttons, larkspur, great blue lobelia, Answers … prairie 1. Babe Ruth blazingstar, 2. It was a deterrent to and bergamot. bedbugs These native 3. Farmerville 4. The Red River flowers give a 5. North of Mt. Ida, AR 6. Copenhagen 7. High Road 8. Joseph Jones, an early settler in the area 9. Bayou of the otter 10. Thirteen

ouisiana

lovely mix of color and fragrance and don't need much work outside the initial sowing. I added some hybrid tea roses to the beds this year so I'll be taking extra steps to protect them from the cold. Native and wild type roses don't need specialized winter treatment as they are acclimated to our seasons. The hybrids teas, however, are mostly descended from plants from frost-free areas so they are very sensitive to temperature shift. Exposure to frost and freezing temperatures can destroy cell walls and blacken the plant, killing it off. By protecting the base of our roses we ensure that any frost damage can be trimmed off and the plant will replenish itself. The first step in over wintering hybrid tea roses is to prune. This is usually done after the first frost. Remove all buds and any new shoots that look weak or diseased and trim long canes by half and shorter ones by a third. Next, bring in dirt to hill around the trimmed roses. A sandy mix is best, you want to avoid any soil that will hold excess moisture as this can cause mold or rot. In our moderate zone eight, a mound of six to eight inches is sufficient. Be sure to remove your mound when temperatures begin to rise to ensure that new

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growth isn't damaged. As we work in our gardens this month to protect all the plants we've nurtured through the seasons, let's take time to be thankful for the rich soil and warm sun that have nourished our plants. Nature shares her gifts with us all year, bearing bright flowers and luscious vegetables for us to enjoy. Let's bring that spirit of bounty and giving into our homes and families this holiday season. I hope we can all share the bounty of our lives with those around us as freely as Mother Nature shares hers in the garden. Mae Flager is a native Floridian who's enjoying her new north Louisiana habitat. A writer and gardener, she enjoys digging in the dirt and seeing what grows. Please let her know if you have thoughts, suggestions, or gardening tips that just must see the light of day, maeflager@gmail.com.

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A LIFE OF TRIAL…AND ERROR

By Dennis Stewart

Free Marital & Relationship Advice I have become breathing, that means they are alive, and if classes to improve her mind, you need to start something of a they are alive, they are probably cheating syphoning off those community funds into a relationship expert on you. secret bank account because the ride will soon because of my job as a People often whine, “My wife nags me be over and the only place she will be seeing Hearing Officer, all the time about how lazy and sorry I am. you is in her rear-view mirror. presiding over What can I do about it?” The solution is to Nearly every day, someone asks, “How did protective order cases, domestic disputes, and show her that the situation is all her fault. you talk all those women into marrying you? I child support court five days a week in You do this by saying “I didn't just become mean, you ain't good-looking, and you don't Franklin, Richland and West Carroll Parishes. sorry overnight. I was sorry a long time have no money.” To which I respond, “Fool, you Add the fact that I have been divorced three before you decided to marry me and have a don't have to be good-looking or rich to get a or four times and it's easy to see why people bunch of kids with me. So don't blame me woman, you just have to be charming.” And by seek me out for free marital and relationship for poor decision-making on your part.” charming, I mean you just have to get a woman advice. Whatever the reason, it's starting to People ask me, “I really like her a lot talking about herself, and boom, you're in like become a nuisance so I thought I'd just write and I'm thinking about getting married but Flynt. All women love to talk about themselves. a column and dispense all that good advice to I wish she was just a little better looking. The hard part is to pretend to actually be everyone once and for all. Should I go ahead and get interested in what they are saying. I found that First, I have to say the people married and hope she gets the best way to do this is to take her to any in Franklin, Richland and West better looking?” The answer is restaurant that has a lot of TV's, slip the waiter a Carroll Parishes have got to be the real simple. They don't get no buck or two to turn the channel to the hunting most rested people on the face of better looking after you marry shows on the Outdoor Network, and position the earth because all I hear, day them. If anything, once they your date so that her head is directly in line long and day out, is “She was have your signature on that with a TV behind her. Just remember to arch sleeping with him” or “He was marriage license, they often your eye brow every now and then so she'll sleeping with her”. When people ask me how just let themselves go. But there is one think you are paying attention. can they tell if their spouses are cheating on exception to this rule. If they find someone See you in divorce court. them, I tell them based on my experiences in else better than you and are ready to ditch Dennis Stewart grew up in northeast Louisiana, graduated divorce court, there is a real easy test to your lazy butt, they do suddenly get better from La Tech and LSU Law School. After having taught law at ULM and working as an Assistant District determine whether they are cheating. It's so looking. So if your wife starts going to the Attorney, Dennis is now a Hearing Officer in Rayville. He simple that even a Department of Motor gym to work out, changes her hair color loves to hunt, fish, read, write, and shop on eBay. Vehicles supervisor can do it. You get a small, and her make-up and starts going to night hand-held mirror and while your spouse is asleep, hold it in front of their nose or mouth, whichever they normally snore out of the most, and look for a spend on Earth, which happens Plants in the Landscape” and Northeast Louisiana Master mist to form on the mirror. If a “What's New for 2011: Results of Gardeners will present quite naturally when you nurture mist does form, that means they Gardening: Steps to Success, a a garden.” the Louisiana Trials.” Dr. Owings are breathing, and if they are seminar for everyone who wants Peter Gallagher explores oversees the plant testing program to learn more about gardening, on “Native Plants in the Landscape.” in Hammond and plants that excel Learn how to incorporate these in the trials are promoted as January 15, 2011 at the West Louisiana's “Super Plants.” Monroe Convention Center from often overlooked plants in your 7:30am til noon. garden design from Dr. Gallagher, Come visit with Master Featured Speaker Barbara Professor of Horticulture at Gardeners at tables featuring garden related topics such as Pleasant presents “How to Begin Louisiana Tech. His gardening Vegetable Gardening” and articles are featured each month in growing herbs, plant division, Louisiana Gardener. choosing mulch, using soil “Revolutionary Home Composting Methods,” topics of Buck Bounds shows how to samples. Books will also be her newest books, Starter Vegetable “Know Your Soil Type” and available for signing. There will be door prizes and refreshments, and Gardens and The Complete Compost “Care for Plants: Fertilizers and a free Ag Expo ticket for Gardening Guide. An award Soil Amendments.” A master biology instructor, Buck's teaching participants. To register, contact winning author and contributing editor to Mother Earth News and style simplifies learning about SHotard@lsu.agcenter.edu or the The Herb Companion. Barbara's garden soil and how to improve it. Ag Center at (318) 323-5177. Allen Owings introduces Registration fee (by December) is philosophy is simple: “We are meant to enjoy each day that we “Woody Shrubs and Ornamental $10 and $15 thereafter.

If they are alive, they are probably cheating on you.

Gardening Seminar Scheduled

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Calendar of Events

November 2010

November. 5 ___________ French Friday on Main Street Opelousas 337-948-5227

Kiwanis Christmas at Jackson Square West Lake Charles 337-532-3839

Shadows Civil War Reenactment New Iberia – 877-200-4924

November 5-6 __________

November 6 ___________

11th Annual Main to Main Trade Days Webster Parish – 318-371-4258

Hometown Louisiana Bastrop – 318-281-5372

Veteran's Day Avenue of Flags Orange Grove/Graceland Cemetery Lake Charles – 337-437-7807

November 5-6 __________

4th Annual Blues and BBQ on the Ouachita Columbia – 318-649-2138

FreeState Festival Florien 318-586-3521

November 5-7 __________ Vietnam Traveling Memorial Wall Chennault Aviation and Military Museum, Monroe – 318-362-5540 LA Swine Festival Basile 337-230-1479 Frog Festival Rayne 337-334-2332 Pecan Festival Colfax 318-627-5196

November 11 __________

November 12-14 ________ Cracklin Festival Port Barre – 337-585-2827 Cutoff Youth Center Fair Cutoff – 985-632-7616

Great Chili Challenge New Iberia 337-364-2273

Westwego Cypress Swamp Fest Westwego – 504-341-1003

Fall Fest Sam Houston Jones State Park Moss Bluff 337-855-2665

November 13

__________

Minden Cemetery Ghost Walk Minden – 318-423-0192

Southdown Fall Festival Houma 985-851-0154

LA Music Festival New Orleans – 504-488-5993

November 6-7 __________

Mirliton Festival New Orleans – 504-944-5422

Celebration of the Giant Omelette Abbeville 337-893-0013

Sugar Day Alexandria – 318-487-5998 Swamp Festival -- Audubon Zoo New Orleans – 504-581-4629 Swamp Pop Music Festival Robert – 985-345-9244 Thibodeauxville Fall Fest Thibodaux – 985-446-1187

November 13-14 ________ 14th Annual Covington Three Rivers Art Festival Covington – 985-871-4141 Fall Festival Destrehan 985-764-9315 Covington 3 Rivers Art Festival Covington 985-871-4141

November 19-21 ________ Harvest Festival Moss Bluff – 337-304-3639 Highland Games Jackson – 225-634-7397 Celtic Nations Festival Lake Charles – 337-439-4888 Louisiana Road Trips

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November 20-21 ________ Civil War Living History Reenactment Camp Moore – 985-229-2438

November 21 __________ PoBoy Festival New Orleans – 504-228-3349

November 26-28 ________ LIHA Annual Fall Pow-Wow Gonzales – 888-775-7990 Renaissance Festival Hammond – 985-429-9992

November 27 __________ Christmas Tree Farm Festival Grant 800-987-NOEL Christmas Wonderland in the Pine Jonesboro 318-259-4693


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Louisiana Road Trips  

November Issue of Louisiana Road Trips Magazine