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How To Find The Man Of Your Dreamsâ„¢ by Bob Grant

What Guys Like. . . How Men View Women and What They Really Notice Bob Grant, LPC

~ Table of Contents ~

Introduction Chapter One First: He Notices How You Look Chapter Two Second: He Notices Your Type Chapter Three Third: Your Attitude Affects Your Type Chapter Four Fourth: If Women Only Understood this Men are Hard-Wired to Like Women (they don’t need to be perfect)

Chapter Five Fifth: What Men Say vs What They Do (in regards to the women they date and marry)

Letters & Notes from Women Who Read This Book



ver the years, I’ve written four books and a few articles. In response to those writings, my staff and I have received

calls from some of the readers who want to speak with me regarding their specific situation. It seems that the majority of these women feel the need to convey to me that they are “very attractive” or that they “look much younger than their age.” What is interesting is that often, when someone feels the need to emphasize something, they are usually a bit uncertain as to their own belief in what they are saying. This phenomenon can be seen from the man who has to tell everyone how smart he is, to the teenage boy who feels compelled to brag about his toughness. Now this doesn’t mean that those women who are saying they are attractive aren’t. Rather, it tends to indicate that they feel their physical appearance has to be close to perfection. Most of this reasoning stems from the mistaken impression of how men actually view women and what qualities men actually do find attractive. In fairness to women in general, it’s easy to understand why they would think that men (perhaps all men) feel that the secret to a great relationship is having an ultra-skinny, big-breasted,

beautiful woman, who forever looks like she’s 27-years old. It’s difficult to dispute this viewpoint, when some of the most popular magazines for men are and Scroll through these sites and you will see that the women they admire are very nice to look at. Nothing wrong with that… but what most women don’t realize is that men notice more about a woman than what you see in those pictures. Certainly every man wants to marry someone he is attracted to, the same as most women, given a choice, would choose a financially stable man over one who is career challenged. The men’s preference doesn’t mean that they hold such high standards for women regarding their beauty that only a small number of women can ever attain it. In fact, I’d like to take these next few minutes to show you how men actually view women in regards to their looks, what they think is attractive, and how it differs from some of the information you are constantly being bombarded with in all forms of the media and Internet.


First: He Notices How You Look


ow it would be foolish to say that men don’t notice certain aspects of a woman more than others. Let’s go

through the list of what he sees when he’s glancing at you. As mentioned before, men do notice your hair, particularly its length. A man’s biggest preference is almost always – Long. Don’t just take my word for it. Patti Stanger, CEO and owner of The Millionaire’s Club, says it even more forcefully, “Men hate short hair.” I admit, that’s a little blunt, but most women realize that longer hair (as in shoulder length or longer) is the preference of most men. This doesn’t mean that short hair is a turn off; rather, it just isn’t as big of a turn on.

✓Yes and ■ ✓No Your Weight – ■ Will he notice how much you weigh? Yes. Is this all a man wants – someone skinny? No. As I mentioned above, men like the shape of a woman, so having curves is actually appealing to men. In fact, some cultures prefer a more full-figured woman with extra weight, while others do not. Yes, some men will not look at any woman who weighs more than 105 pounds, but that

is not the norm. What all men appreciate in relation to weight is proportion. The mythical ideal dimensions for a woman are 36-24-36, or so we are told here and there. This is such a rigid measurement that it’s a better guide for the fashion industry using precise numbers, rather than the average Joe. What would stand out to a man is a major deviation from those numbers. Such as a woman whose measurements are 44-25-39 or 32-27-44. The details I have just mentioned would be lost on most men. Truthfully, they don’t think about a woman’s weight nearly as much as women do, unless she has a disproportionate shape.

✓ Yes Your Clothes – ■ The most obvious item that men notice/prefer is a dress or, more specifically, a skirt, instead of pants. There are many situations where wearing pants may be more appropriate or professional, but you won’t get noticed as much.

✓ Nope Your Shoes – ■ Sorry but most men don’t notice or care about this popular female fetish. The only real thing a man notices in a woman’s shoes is if she is wearing high heels. Suffice it to say that the look is feminine. A good rule to remember is the wider the bottom of the shoe, the less men like it. Your comfy flip-flops that are twice the size of your foot remind men of their mother cleaning the house. Just a thought.


Second: He Notices Your Type


n describing your attitude, most women, in a man’s eyes, fall into one of three categories. From a man’s

perspective, when evaluating a woman, he will try and determine if… She’s a Witch - She’s a Pleaser or She’s Expensive Yes, men are that simplistic when it comes to evaluating a romantic interest. Here’s what they mean.

■ The Witch:

Competitive...Over-inflated sense of herself...

Complains...Blames others when things go wrong, and, oh, did I mention Competitive? Now, you can tell from this list that these traits are very strong. What men sense from this type of woman is that if they make a misstep or do something to offend her, there will be hell to pay. This is not the type of woman who easily forgives or takes it lightly if she’s being taken for granted. While these characteristics are overall unappealing, there is something of a challenge to this woman. She is hard to conquer. It often takes a supreme effort of a man to persuade her to go along with what he desires; and, surprisingly, to most women, men actually do enjoy a

challenge. The problem is that the challenge is usually nothing more than trying to get the woman into bed. Once that has been accomplished (perhaps a few times), the challenge is gone and all that is left is the Witchy attitude.

Take Susan, for instance. She is tall, slender, and by everyone’s measure, very attractive. When she walks into a room, most men find themselves gazing over at her. She is the essence of value. Men desire to see her, meet her and ultimately seduce her. Yet, with one look at her, most men realize that because of her attractiveness, the competition to win her heart will most likely be fierce. In spite of all these advantages, Susan remains single and unmarried. Yes she dates often, but while some relationships last years, none end up in a marriage that she desperately wants. Susan, you see, does not know how to be responsive to a man. She has firm boundaries about what she likes to do and isn’t easily given to saying yes. If her boyfriend happens to suggest something that she wants to do, she will happily go along with it. But if not, she is unmoved. From every boyfriend’s perspective, she is hard to please, and yet she doesn’t think so. In fact, she feels she is quite easy to please – so long as he does what she wants.

■ The Pleaser: Easily Pleased...Prone toward self-doubt...Very Giving...Accommodating...Rarely (if ever) complains...Blames herself when things go wrong. Men view this type of woman with a similar fondness they might have for their favorite pet. Dependable and available when you need her, but not very exciting. If they are upset, she is most likely to say she’s sorry for causing trouble. If he stops pursuing her, she steps in with phone calls and gestures to explain how much she cares for him. When he stops giving, she gives even more. You can see the appeal of her. She’s often a better mother to a man than his own mother was and, yet, it’s too easy. Men want what they can’t have and tend to despise what comes easily. At least that’s what James Dobson said over 25 years ago in Love Must Be Tough. Well, actually, we all want that, but men, in particular, need to feel this way in regards to the woman of their choice, especially to a woman like Allyson.

Allyson is, by most men’s standards, neither striking nor ugly. At five foot, four inches tall, she has an average build with medium-length hair. If you were to ask any of her ex-boyfriends or current friends to describe her, you would hear such phrases as: “She’s very nice.” “One of the kindest people I know.” “She loves people.”

Anyone who knows her soon realizes that she has a very giving nature. Whenever she has a disagreement with a boyfriend, she is the one who apologizes, for fear of losing him. She is the one who bakes him cookies, rubs his back, sends him emails and calls him. In some regards, she is a better boyfriend than her boyfriend, and in time every boyfriend ends up becoming bored with her. She’s too giving, or put another way – she’s too accommodating. While this characteristic is lovely, in time, most men will not find it appealing. Her selflessness makes her appear less than confident, like she has to be nice to prove she’s desirable.

■ Expensive Woman:

Sets limits – with any man...Rarely raises

her voice – to any man...Never allows the relationship to proceed too quickly...Understands that Sex requires an investment... Displays the Ability to be at Ease...Dresses in a manner that is appealing to men – not only women. This woman is the essence of what men find fascinating. She seems to have the best attributes of the Witch and the Pleaser. She is rarely, if ever, sarcastic and seems to genuinely like men. She doesn’t “have her guard up,” because she trusts in her ability to set any limit that is necessary. Thus, she doesn’t take herself too seriously. She is comfortable with her attributes, as well as her perceived imperfections. When men see her, they often describe her with this phrase, “There’s something about her.”

This phrase accompanies a woman like Becky. In college she smiled at men effortlessly and almost always appeared to be interested when they spoke to her. In fact, she consistently treated both attractive and unattractive men the same – with kindness. The result of this attitude was that nearly every guy on campus wanted to go out with her, and most tried. If you polled most of the men on campus as to what it was about Becky, they would struggle to find a single word. Pretty would be the most common phrase; but if you compared her to other women her age, you wouldn’t say she was the most attractive. No, there was more to her than simply her looks. For some reason, Becky actually believed she was fun to be around, and because of this belief, she was easy to please. Even small gestures from men seemed to make her happy. Men, it turned out, believed she was as valuable as she believed she was. Because of this, if a man ever took her for granted, he lost his chance with her, as another man simply stepped in to take his place.

While no individual encompasses just one of these types, every woman has a predominate type, one that dominates the other two. It takes courage to become the Expensive woman but it is well worth the effort. The Woman Men Adore‌and Never Want to Leave is a road map toward being Expensive forever.


Third: Your Attitude Affects Your Type


ave you ever wondered why office romances are so powerful? So powerful, in fact, that many companies

have specific guidelines regarding romantic relationships between fellow employees. From a man’s perspective, the power derives from the fact that often a woman he has noticed isn’t exactly what he would have chosen if given a choice. Yet what often happens is a man begins to experience a female coworker as he interacts with her. Perhaps she laughs at his jokes or seems impressed with his ideas. She most likely dresses in outfits that compliment her shape. In time, the idea of a relationship with her begins to “grow” on him and he initiates a relationship that has great professional risks to him. This is not to say that in some instances a man does finds one of his coworkers extremely attractive and wants to date her. It is to point out that that same woman, who is gorgeous, can become repugnant in the same man’s eyes if she is a witch (or substitute another word). Yes, your attitude does have more of an effect on a man than men will let on.

What characteristics in your demeanor do men find so attractive? The answer is that the ability to be at ease is what men find most attractive in a woman. In the classic book, A New Look on Love, Elaine and G. William Walster reveal that when a woman is able to act in such a manner that she would normally act around a man she has no interest in whatsoever, this attitude is alluring. This is one of the reasons the men you are not interested in are so attracted to you. You don’t care and it makes you appealing. In fact, this aspect is one of the characteristics I describe in my book, The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave. It’s the quality that some women have and some don’t, with the good news being that it is attainable for every woman.

What are other attitudes that stand out? Well one that every man perceives as negative is how much a woman complains. For many women, they feel that they are simply “processing” or “expressing themselves,” but men often find it nothing more than being negative. Men tend to view complaining in this manner, “Talking about something negative, which you can control, and then not doing anything to remedy the situation.” Please notice that the solution to this statement isn’t for women to simply be positive. Instead, if they are going to complain about something, then they should do something about it. Most men understand situations that are beyond your control, such as the death of a loved one or a medical illness. What is difficult for men is to be immersed in painful or

uncomfortable feelings and trying to cure them, since men don’t find as much emotional relief in discussing their feelings as do women. When a woman is discussing her feelings and makes it a point not to overwhelm a man with emotions, she is instantly more attractive in his eyes. It’s as though she understands men and genuinely likes them, which is charming in most men’s eyes. The effect of your attitude cannot be overstated. What many women do not realize is that there is no such thing as inner beauty or outer beauty…there is only beauty. The thoughts you think and the attitudes you embrace will always have an effect on your physical appearance. It manifests in your skin, your posture, and how often you smile. Medical doctors, who perform Gastric Bypass Surgery, require the potential patient to undergo a psychological assessment to determine if that person is an acceptable candidate for having their stomach reduced. What they know is that, often, those who are obese have a psychological reason for their excessive weight gain, even if there is a physical contributor. Yes, men do notice how much you like yourself. They can’t always describe it, but they can tell the difference after your first sentence is uttered – and this can’t be faked. The quality I am describing originates from your heart, not from memorizing certain phrases. I have told many clients this phrase:

“A man can’t believe anything about you that you don’t believe yourself. If you think you aren’t pretty, then he won’t be able to convince you otherwise and, in time, he’ll stop trying.”


Fourth: If Women Only Understood this – Men are Hard-Wired to Like Women (they don’t need to be perfect)


any women feel men are so picky that unless they have perfect bodies, flawless skin and, of course, huge

breasts, then a man isn’t going to find them attractive. In all fairness, considering what is displayed in magazines, on television and on the Internet, it’s easy to see why so many women – especially those over 40 – have this perception. The truth is that men like women in general, not just the “perfect ones.” Men have a natural predisposition toward the shape and curves of a woman. This same characteristic is also what tends to drive women crazy at times, “All he does is look at my breasts.” If you need proof, the next time you are at an airport and have to wait for your flight (that shouldn’t be too hard) notice out of the corner of your eye the men near you. If you look long enough, you will see that they are gazing at women. Not just

the ones most would say are stunning, but nearly every woman. They may stare longer at one woman than they do at another, but they stare, and it’s because they are visually stimulated. The truth is that men are simply fascinated with a woman’s body. They will do extraordinary things to gain access to it, some of which are unsavory (as in telling whatever lie is necessary to seduce a woman). This is one reason why some men who are married to “beautiful” women have affairs, and sometimes with women who are arguably not as attractive as their own spouse. Remember Hugh Grant cheating on Elizabeth Hurley? Don’t forget Jude Law cheating on Sienna Miller. While these are but two examples, they reinforce the concept that being a woman, alone, is more powerful and appealing to men than most women realize.

“Men have a natural predisposition toward the shape and curves of a woman.”


Fifth: What Men Say vs What They Do (in regards to the women they date and marry)


he best evidence for all that you have read actually comes from men themselves. For all the talk that men

do regarding what they think is pretty, it is important to consider the individual man as opposed to all men. Some men are so superficial that only a “perfect” woman is considered pretty. These men are often considered narcissistic and shallow, and their opinion isn’t an accurate reflection of men in general. If you’ve ever dated a man like this, you will know it by the fact that when he is enthralled with you, his love seems over-

whelming. There appears to be no limit to the things he is willing to do for you and his feelings seem so certain and strong. Beware, though, because when he is not motivated, he becomes detached and moody. He suddenly starts to notice any imperfection and the slightest annoyance causes him to lose interest in you. This type of man is the wrong one for any woman to take too seriously.

The men I am referring to are those who are not fragile and self-centered. They may have their issues, but, in general, they don’t think women are perfect and they don’t expect perfection in their appearance. They enjoy how a woman looks and believe that every woman can be beautiful. They really do – just don’t ask them to say it. What is most notable about these men is the difference between who they date and who they marry. While they may pursue the woman who is thinner, blonder, or with some other characteristic, in time they learn that when choosing a life partner, pretty is more than what they see. As one man put it, “I dated this girl who was really pretty. We were going out with some friends and I prayed that she wouldn’t open her mouth.” It goes without saying that within a week he ended the relationship. The more time he spent with her and her negative attitude, the less attractive she became to him. Does all that you’ve read sound simple? Probably, but that certainly won’t make it easy. In fact, it is quite simple and very easy to implement all of these insights. Some you might have known, others may have been a surprise.

In my book, The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave, I give readers an exercise that offers specific instructions on how to practice becoming ‘Expensive’ women. It’s fun, simple and, best of all, it will remind you of how you should see yourself.

In Addition to learning how to become Expensive, The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave also offers several additional insights:

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓

How to Listen to Your Heart

What Men Crave the Most and How to Give It to Them.

Your Secret Guide What You Call Your partner, They Will Become Why Working Harder Isn't the Answer Why Men Don’t Listen The Only Reason Men Marry Why Men Need to Experience Pain The Stages of Forgiveness

If you’d like to discover all of these insights, get your copy of “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave” **** CLICK HERE ****

Letters & Notes from Women Who Read This Book lly “Thank you so much!!!! I rea e been enjoyed reading your book. I hav a very separated for 7 months from 12 years. angry man. We were married for this time. I really want to do it better on how I was searching for answers have given to do it the right way and you I cannot me the answers in your book. e you. tell you how much I appreciat that Thank you, I cannot tell you one and I enough. I have just met some new am so excited to try out my d your techniques. I plan to really rea e it deep book over and over until I hav l let you inside me and do it right. I wil know ... thanks again.... God Bless you...�


ut your “I came across the information abo ething quite book when I was looking for som to end the opposite, namely advice on “how w the relationship,” because I did not kno n. After I other way to deal with the situatio t I'd read it the first time I realized tha e got back finally found the gold key and hav g time ago my peace which I once had a lon dent I but lost somewhere. Like a good stu decided to act exactly the way you ned “teach”...Everything completely tur l satisfied around after the first attempt! I fee and happy.” Lauren

“I must admit, it wasn’t as easy as I had hoped it would be. My situation seemed hopeless, so I figured I had nothing to lose and boy am I glad I gave your book a try. It’s kind of scary being vulnerable, but now I am seeing the results with my boyfriend that I never dreamed were possible.”


“I wanted to thank you for writing such an enlightening book. I've jus t finished reading it last night and have been using all of the methods. I feel so much more comfortable in my relationship now and am not constantly thinking of breaking up with him . I'm almost as relaxed as I was in the beginning.”


“I didn’t believe that it was possible to change my man. Even though I was skeptical I decided to give it a try and am I ever glad I did. It happened jus t like you said it would.”

Cathy “I can’t believe it happened just like you said. You told me not to give up and he just proposed last weekend! I knew something was up but this caught me completely by surprise!”


"I have told my friends that I know someone who is a "Miracle Worker." I tell them that I know someone who relates well to people. I wish I had read your book before I went through my divorce."


first time ever I felt “I read your book and for the rstanding Men has like I knew the answer! Unde mething inside me never been so easy! It's like so came alive.”


“Armed with your guidance and insight, this is all so much better and less painful than in the past. Thank you so much for what you wrote - it has boosted my confidence so much.”


“The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave”

Special Preview Edition

~ Table of Contents ~ Introduction........................................................................................................................4 Chapter 1 - Knowing What You Want ............................................................................7 Chapter 2 - Where To Find Your Man .........................................................................27 Suggestion One: Men Love Golf ..................................................................................30 Suggestion Two: Consider a part-time job working in a man’s clothing store................................................................................................32 Suggestion Three: Habitually visit the library and/or neighborhood bookstore....................................................................................34 Suggestion Four: The Internet......................................................................................39 What Makes For Successful Internet Dating? ............................................................40 Chapter 3 - Prepare Your Heart ...................................................................................48 Chapter 4 - Now You’re Ready To Get Noticed ..........................................................59 Chapter 5 - Once You Get A Date..................................................................................67 The Second Date.............................................................................................................77 The Third Date...............................................................................................................84 Chapter 6 - The First Three Months..............................................................................91 The Argument Women Can’t Win...............................................................................92 Your Secret Weapon......................................................................................................95 Chapter 7 - The Second Three Months........................................................................100 Chapter 8 - Months Six Through Twelve ....................................................................103 Chapter 9 - Final Thoughts...........................................................................................108 Suggested Reading .........................................................................................................110 About the Author ...........................................................................................................111

~ Introduction ~ I want to tell you something. Regardless of what you have been through, it is possible to have a wonderful man want to marry you. I know because every year I get the privilege of seeing some of my clients have a wonderful man walk right into their life. For some, it’s the result of having a carefully crafted plan that they follow regardless of how silly or insecure they might feel implementing it. Others simply take a look into their past and realize how they have been unconsciously sabotaging their deepest desire to find love. Once the realization comes to them that attracting a man is pretty simple, love seems to find them, almost as though it was waiting on them right around the corner. Perhaps you’ve heard such optimistic stories before and wonder if what you are about to read is nothing more than just a repackaged assortment of clichés such as, “You need to go out and meet more people,” or “You just haven’t found the right man” and my personal favorite, “If you weren’t so picky, you’d be married by now.” I promise you’ll find none of that here. This book is about you getting results because nothing else really matters, does it? If you simply wanted to feel good about yourself and remain single, you certainly wouldn’t be reading this book. Every single woman I have ever counseled has experienced the feelings of loneliness when their friends are getting married and they are not. One client described it to me like this, “It feels like all my friends were invited to a party and I didn’t get an invitation.” It’s a feeling that is rarely discussed but universally felt by single women across the world. It feels lonely sometimes, and hopeless, and no matter how hard someone tries, when these feelings arise within a woman, it is inevitable for her to wonder to herself, “Is there something wrong with me?” Or sometimes the question is, “Am I doing something wrong?” Regardless of whatever questions or fears or doubts have come into your mind, you are going to learn how to attract and marry a wonderful man. If you noticed that I didn’t say ‘the man that you want,’ then your observation is very keen. For now I am going to suggest that you may or may not know what type of man you really want. If you’ve dated the same type of man for years without getting married, it might be that you truly don’t know what type of man is good for you. Even if you don’t, it doesn’t matter because, by the end of this book, you will know exactly what you are looking for and will never fear ending up with the wrong man. For this to be successful I need something from you. It is absolutely essential that you maintain an open and curious mind throughout this entire process. If you are not getting the results that you want, then it is highly probable that you are doing something wrong and you must be willing to change either yourself, the way you present yourself, or even your choice of the type of man that you’re selecting. The reason I feel so confident is that I offered a free 15-minute coaching session with the purchase of my first book, The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave. Through those hundreds of mini-sessions, I observed that every woman was in some way contributing to their lack of success. Women do not marry the man of their dreams by accident. Some can tell you how they did it, while others just have an inner knowledge that enables them to attract men like flies. Rather than continue to speak to women one at a time, it became obvious to me that I needed to write a book that showed every woman exactly how to attract the man of their dreams.

CHAPTER ONE Knowing What You Want

Here is a phrase that would save a lot of women countless heartaches when it comes to dating: Start before you date or it’s too late. By the time you are on your first date, a lot of things are already in place. Once you are out with someone, all your fears, insecurities and hopes are already in motion. No matter how much you think you’re going to be rational, you can’t be if you really like him. You’ll give him some indication that you like him and make it easy for him to captivate your heart. Once your emotions take over, forget about being rational. If, on the other hand, you have a pretty clear idea as to what type of man you are looking for, the type of characteristics he needs to possess, and you have a brutally honest assessment of who you are, you’ll save yourself untold hours of anguish during your dating, because you won’t have to try to figure things out as you go along when you have all of your emotions mixed up in the process. Once you go on a date, it should be fairly effortless because your objective really is to see if he’s any fun. We’re going to begin by finding out exactly what type of man you want to marry. I’m going to ask you some questions which will enable you to discover a more accurate view of the type of man you want to end up. Otherwise you will simply be practicing trial and error dating. So, let’s begin with the idea that within a month to six months, somewhere in there, you’re going to be meeting someone wonderful. If that seems too long, then let me remind you that getting what you really want is always worth the wait. Now I’m not saying it has to take a month to six months, if someone wonderful pops into your life tomorrow, by all means, act on it. But if you’ve had any trouble finding the person who is in your heart, it usually means that your actions are incongruent with your beliefs. Something you’re doing or not doing is causing your dreams to not manifest. Do you think this sounds too hocus-pocus? I promise you, any therapist, psychologist or coach who has had success working with singles will echo my statements. It’s not something I have made up. There’s a reason why some women are lucky at love and some women seem to struggle, even though both of them are similar in appearance. Since you can’t often see the difference, it must be an unseen quality that separates the successful women from those who struggle with getting and maintaining a relationship with a man. What’s on the inside of someone has a large impact on how lucky they are on drawing someone into their life. If you describe yourself as being a “black and white” person, you are going to need to expand your thinking. Relationships are rarely “black and white.” There isn’t one perfect method that works with every man, every time. If there were, you would have already discovered it by now. What is true is that there are principles that can be learned that will nearly always produce the results you desire. I would be remiss with you not to bring this to your attention because my goal is to help you get what you want. I’m not telling you what you have to pick in a man. You tell me what characteristics you want in your man, and that’s our goal. So let’s go over a few generalizations.

Did you like what you just read? Can you imagine what your life would be like if you met the man of your Dreams? There’s no need to wait, you can have this e-book and a FREE 15-minute coaching session with Bob Grant, L.P.C. now. Why wait any longer? Click Here

The Woman Men Adore: Preview of the Book


By Bob Grant, L.P.C.

Welcome to a preview for the e-book, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.” This book is the product of over 20 years of working with both single and marred women of all types. Rather than continuing to work with women one at a time; I wanted to share these insights with as many individuals has possible.

My clients have told me what works and what does not. While these insights have proven effective time after time, it is more than simply a book of insights. It is a manual to practice. In time, what you read can change your life. I know because every week I receive feedback from a client who tells me how different her life is and how surprised she is that these insights have been helpful. So sit back, relax and enjoy the first few pages of “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.’

A Message from Bob Grant: Have you ever looked at your relationships and wondered what was missing? Perhaps you are like many of my single clients and have an active social life. You date often and wonder why you can’t seem to find that special someone. I also work with married women who have found their life partner but realize they are in a marriage where love seems to be lost. Well, I have great news for you. If you would like to enhance your dating life, get married or spark the fire within your marriage, this book was written for you.

During the past 20 years I have talked with thousands of women. Some of these are excellent in interacting with men. They seem to have certain characteristics that enable them to effortlessly cast a spell over the men in their life. From the outside it appears to be magic. In the following pages I will describe to you what it is they know and how you can act and think the same way as these women. Some suggestions will be very practical while others will be more abstract. Before you begin I have one request, as you begin applying these skills and insights to your life, please be patient. It is going to take some time for you to feel comfortable with implementing these new skills. In fact some of them will be totally different than what you have previously believed about men and relationships.

This book will present several PRINCIPLES which can apply to both single and married people, and which can be used separately or in conjunction with one

another. In other words, you don’t have to view the advice in this book as an “allor-nothing” type of plan. Simply read what I have to say, and when you find a suggestion that seems to apply to your situation, try it.

Let me begin by stating something which will become very obvious as you read this book; this book is for women. The suggestions, insights and the changes to be made (at least at first) will need to be made by the women in the relationships. This is by no means because I, as a man, believe that women are at fault for all relationship problems. Nor do I feel that it should be the responsibility of the woman to always “fix” the problems in a relationship. It’s just that in my years of practice as a therapist, I have noticed that women tend to be the ones who are primarily interested in the development and improvement of their relationships. It is far more common for me to see a woman in my office, asking for advice as to how she should handle a particular relationship issue, than to see a man, or even a couple. Women are simply more interested in the entire concept of relationship development.

Most men view the relationship as, “Fine,” until there is a blow up. In a relationship, the woman is typically the primary one who wants to improve, develop and constantly grow closer. She is continually seeking new ways to achieve this end, whether or not her chosen mate participates in her quest.

A man, on the other hand, often views a relationship as a race rather than as a journey. For the typical male, a relationship has a beginning and an end, and marriage is typically the end, or “finish line”. For men, the motto is, “just get me the girl, and I’ll take it from there.” Once marriage is achieved, your average Joe will sit back and relax, assuming that he has won the race, earned his keep, and achieved his goal. It will seldom, if ever, occur to him that he still has to work, or that he might be expected to continue growing. For him, the hard part is over, and it’s time to kick back and enjoy the fruits of his labor. Left to his own devices, the typical man will never initiate couples counseling, because the typical man rarely considers the need for it. Even if he does notice a NEED in the relationship, he will probably be unable (or unwilling) to recognize what that need might be.

Most of my clients are women but every once in awhile a man comes into my office for “relationship help”. When guys ask for help in relationships, they usually mean one of two things: either I end up talking to a single guy who wants to meet someone (like joining a dating service), or I’m dealing with a husband/boyfriend who has made some poor (dumb) choices and needs to know the “magic words” that will make everything okay again. Yes, ladies, I’ve actually had male clients come to me for that very reason—not therapy or counseling (many don’t realize that there can be deeper issues)—but some sort of catch phrase that will make a woman melt. If you’ve seen the movie Roxanne, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Believe it or not, that type of guy is far closer to the norm than you

may think. The fact is, I find that women have a greater interest and ability to influence men than vice versa. My own clients back me in this belief, because more than half of my married clients are women who come to me alone.

So, before you read any further, please be aware. As the woman in the relationship, by following the ideas and suggestions in this book, you will be asked to initiate the changes in your relationship. Whether your goal is to “get out of a rut,� to repair a broken relationship or to simply find someone to share your life with, you will find helpful advice in the following pages. After years of experience this book is the net result of one thing, doing what works. By improving yourself, you will be able to influence your mate or draw one into your life. This is about positive changes you can make in yourself that will ultimately result in positive changes in your relationship. These changes will lead to better communication, more intimacy, and a better understanding of why problems arise in the first place. That being said, let’s begin!


If the man is the head, then the woman is the heart


Listening to Your Heart.


Your secret guide.


What you call your partner, they will become.


Why working harder isn't the answer.


Why men don’t listen.


Men marry for one reason, SHE MAKES HIM FEEL GOOD.


Why men need to experience pain.


Why receiving is for women and giving is for men.


The stages of forgiveness.


What men crave the most and how to give it to them.

Order your copy of “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave” by clicking here

Next: Letters from Women who read this book

"Thank you so much!!!! I really enjoyed reading your book. I have been separated for 7 months from a very angry man. We were married for 12 years. I really want to do it better this time. I was searching for answers on how to do it the right way and you have given me the answers in your book. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you. Thank you, I cannot tell you that enough. I have just met someone and I am so excited to try out my new techniques. I plan to really read your book over and over until I have it deep inside me and do it right. I will let you know ... thanks again.... God Bless you..." –Yvonne

"I came across the information about your book when I was looking for something quite opposite, namely advices "how to end the relationship", because I did not know the other way to deal with the situation. After I read it first time I've realized that I'd finally found the gold key and have got back my peace which I once had a long time ago but lost somewhere. Like a good student I decided to act exactly the way you "teach"...Everything completely turned around after the first attempt! I feel satisfied and happy." –Lauren “I must admit, it wasn’t as easy as I had hoped it would be. My situation seemed hopeless, so I figured I had nothing to lose and boy am I glad I gave your book a try. It’s kind of scary being vulnerable, but now I am seeing the results with my boyfriend that I never dreamed were possible.” –Amanda "I wanted to thank you for writing such an enlightening book. I've just finished reading it last night and have been using all of the methods. I feel so much more comfortable in my relationship now and am not constantly thinking of breaking up with him. I'm almost as relaxed as I was in the beginning." –Lisette "I didn't believe that it was possible to change my man. Even though I was skeptical I decided to give it a try and am I ever glad I did. It happened just like you said it would." –Cathy "I can't believe it happened just like you said. You told me not to give up and he just proposed last weekend! I knew something was up but this caught me completely by surprise!" - Robin "I have told my friends that I know someone who is a "Miracle Worker." I tell them that I know someone who relates well to people. I wish I had read your book before I went through my divorce." -Tracy "I read your book and for the first time ever I felt like I knew the answer! Understanding Men has never been so easy! It's like something inside me came alive." -Michelle

"Armed with your guidance and insight, this is all so much better and less painful than in the past. Thank you so much for what you wrote- it has boosted my confidence so much." -Julie

You Too Can Learn The Secrets to Captivating A Man’s Hear By Obtaining “The Woman Men Adore… and Never Want to Leave”

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