Local Riot is a collaborative magazine created by two girls who wanted to provide an outlet for the creative souls of the world to share their work, thoughts and opinions. It is a magazine for young people by young people and is a place to come together, a place to be free of ridicule, a place to make friends, a place to educate yourself, a place to express yourself, a place to be heard.
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MANY THANKS TO: All those who contributed work. Everyone who contributed in ‘Your Say’. Pip for the contents photo. Allie for the cover photo.
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CONTENTS CLASSICS letter from the editors editors' favourites mixtapes
your say the reading corner pursuit of positivity
she changes with the weather on the road again seasons of love
// 6 // 9 // 11, 43, 66, 95 // 46 // 80 // 122
// 20 // 22 // 28, 52, 76, 117 summer // 31 home sweet home // 50 5 quotes for growing up // 55 and there is also pain with love // 63 how to beat the SAD // 69 processional melodies // 84 how to be yellow when the // 89 weather is blue amandier en fleur // 102 five senses of the heart // 106 broken pots and acceptance // 112
LETTER FROM THE EDITORS
Hey Riots! As we say goodbye to 2017, and welcome in the new year we present to you a year in the life. Slightly inspired by the Gilmore Girls, slightly our own idea. We gave our writers a one word summary for each month that you will find at the beginning of each new section. Despite the fact that the seasons are different across the world, these pages are a global representation of how creatives see the year pass. It is how-to guides, stories, playlists, and poetry; all coming together to show you a year in the life of Local Riot.
Love always, Ailish and Maisie
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Get to Know the Team REGULARS MAISIE EVASON: Twitter: @thebrkfstciub Instagram: @thelittlemermais
Social Media localriot.weebly.com Twitter: @localriotmag Instagram: @localriotmag Contact email@example.com
Editors Ailish Delaney Maisie Evason Graphic Design Ailish Delaney Maisie Evason Writers Ailish Delaney Maisie Evason Ioana Florescu Emily Clendenning Teeana Stark Chelsea Murphy Amanda Odina Tim Coombs Cian Hussey Sam Passman Lesly Altamirano Jacob Langham Photographers Paloma Cifuentess Amy Meacham Millie Murfit Maile Edwards Mia Vosburgh
AILISH DELANEY: Twitter: @probablyailish Instagram: @ailish.delaney IOANA FLORESCU: Twitter: @preachitjessie Instagram: @isthatioana AMANDA ODINA: Instagram: @mandyswardrobe Blog: mandyswardrobe.wordpress.com MILLIE MURFIT: Instagram: @murfitphotos YouTube: filmsbymillie MAILE EDWARDS: Instagram: @maileinthewild AVA WHYBROW: Twitter: @avawhybrowx Instagram: @avawhybrowx CHELSEA MURPHY: Twitter: @cm_505 Instagram: @_chelseamurphy Want to see your work here? If you’re a creative soul and want to see your work, whether it be art, modelling, writing, poetry, photography, etc, just email it to us at firstname.lastname@example.org local riot magazine // 7
Get to Know the Team
TEEANA STARK: My name is Teeana, I’m 18 from Perth W.A. and have been a performing arts student basically my whole life. Due to my main passion being acting, naturally, I indulge in my exploration of human life and nature. Along with, more importantly, the power role of words in human expression. Which has been the spark that ignited my passion for writing, specifically poetry. I have been producing my own works privately and passionately for around four years now and I love it as much as I love my coffee and the winter time. Twitter: @justeeana Instagram: @justeeana Tumblr: justeeana.tumblr.com MIA VOSBURGH: 17 year old aspiring fashion journalist and photographer. Instagram: @mia.vos VSCO: @miajune LESLY ALTAMIRANO: As for about me, I'm Lesly and I love writing and fashion. Twitter: @yungvirg0 Instagram: @stylesly CIAN HUSSEY: Hello from me, Cian, an avid consumer of jazz music and red wine. Twitter: @cian_hussey Instagram: @cian_hussey TIM COOMBS: A clueless and directionless nineteen year old who is above average at a few things, but nothing all that special. Instagram: @timcoombss JACOB LANGHAM: Instagram: @jacob.langham
EMILY CLENDENNING: Instagram: @emclen
CALL ME BY YOUR NAME Another book adapted to screen, CMBYN is a coming of age film that follows 17-year-old Elio and his father’s research assistant, Oliver, as they fall in love over the summer. The movie is beautiful, that’s the only way to describe it. Each shot is aesthetically pleasing and the music is perfect. It’s a movie you find yourself thinking about and coming back to, the storyline really tugs on your heart strings. I will never shut up about this movie and for that, you should most definitely see it. LOCAL BANDS Recently, my friends and I have been listening to more local musicians and attending their gigs. It’s always a blast and a great way to find even more local talent. Some people I recommend are Almond Soy, Spacey Jane, Great Gable, Carla Geneve, Stella Donnelly, and Wooly Mammoth. A LITTLE LIFE A story of heartbreak, triumph, hardship, friendship, love and more. A Little Life is a long read but well worth the time. The friendship that JB, Willem, Malcolm and Jude share is one that most people hope to find throughout their lifetime. It deals with some horrific content but is a recommended read that will change your life. - Ailish
RED WINE There is no way to write a poetic description to this. I first tried red in Rome and hated it. Now nothing appeals to me more than the thought of a nice glass of red after a long day. OFFSPRING Offspring is a show I have ignored for years, but now I regret all the hours i spent without Nina Proudman in my life. The typical family drama is entertaining, and the comedic aspect has me in tears. The narration is such a perfect addition to the show, and although I've only watched the first season, I can't wait to see what the Proudman get up to next. THE GREATEST SHOWMAN SOUNDTRACK Apparently, I'm the only person who wasn't aware that Hugh Jackman could sing but it was the most pleasant surprise. The Greatest Showman was a brilliant film, but regardless of the movie's quality, it has one of the greatest soundtracks in existence. Full of super feel-good dance tracks and some more heartfelt songs, I have listened to nothing else for weeks!
Appreciating: Is it the weather or the free time that makes you feel alive? It doesn't matter because Summer brings with it an appreciation for friends, the beach, and a feeling that life is infinite.
SONGS FOR THE SEASON Summer has come around once again and the sun has both lightened your mood, and darkened your skin. Although the sunburn that came before the tan definitely wasnâ€™t worth it. You finally have a day oďŹ€ work, so you round up all of your friends and organise a beach date; which fits perfectly with the weather and your now empty bank account. You all run into the water to save the soles of your feet from the burning sand, and the cool ocean seems to wash away all of your troubles. After a picnic that consists of slightly warm water and various chips and dip, you all gather together and watch the sunset. The music is playing, and although its mostly drowned out by the sound of laughter, it plays echoes of appreciation for summer nights with good friends.
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It’s Nice to be Alive Ball Park Music Leave your Boyfriends Behind Leona Naess We’ll be Alright Travie McCoy Orange Juice Stanley Brinks and The Wave You Get What You Give - New Radicals Good Life One Republic Calling all Friends The Low Stars Life's What You Make It - Graham Colton With a Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles Make Them Gold - CHVRCHES Junk of the Heart - The Kooks Come Alive - The Greatest Showman Soundtrack Forever Young - Youth Group
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TEEANA STARK All the beauty. All the love. The peace and the soft colours in the sky. The ocean on a warm day and wet grass after rain. You are all the universeâ€™s most wonderful things.
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Mia Vosburgh (Model: Natalie Thomson)
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she changes with the weather Emily Clendenning It is as though with every warm day that passes, the worst parts of her melt away. The clear sunny days and endless blue that gradually evolve into a long and golden summer change her. Cold greys and and muddy browns flourish into sunset oranges and pastel pink and the warm breezes coax her out of the winter rut she as been sat in for months. cold feet and fingers are now warm and submerged in soft, white sand. In her hand she holds not a weak, floral tea that she drinks only to keep warm but a shimmery yellow pineapple drink with a purple umbrella. Her bed sheets are lighter and easier to pull off in the morning, behind the curtains is a sense of warmth and beautiful day waiting outside for her. Her legs aren't cold when she emerges from her bed. The songs she liked in winter have suddenly been reinvented and sound more alive when listening to them with a calm breeze easing through the open windows in her car as she drives peacefully along the coast. The sun kisses her shoulders leaving behind constellations of freckles and a healthy glow. the salt water leaves her hair wavy and face feeling fresh. Her skin is clear and soft. She goes for more walks and eats more fruit and drinks more water. She catches up with friends and feels confident going out. She starts to feel more than she did before which is all she really wanted. She follows her passions in the summer, she is creative and smart. She is content.
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Photo series credits: Styling: The Foxfeet Collective Team (Maria Veraldo Rojas and Charlotte Watson) Models: Anastasia Trajeskcva, Kirsten Cox, Lameck Manalula Clothing: Urban Depot Photographer: Amy Meacham
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We met in the spring but summer was our time. A season filled with love, laughter, and lots of sunburn. The freckles dotted across your cheeks seemed to constantly multiply, which tends to be what happens when you spend all of your days in the sun. You were self-conscious about them but, like most things about you, I loved them and the way they looked when you scrunched up your face while you laughed. Summer was our warmest period, a honeymoon phase. We became regulars at the beach, a towel for each of us was always in the boot of our cars. We’d go in the mornings, driving down the coast with the windows down and music up, hands flowing in the wind. You would lay on your back with a t-shirt over your face after you had applied enough sunscreen to make you glow, you were always paranoid about getting burnt. I’d lay on my front and get lost in a book, frequently forgetting to reapply on the backs of my legs. You’d nudge me occasionally and pass me the sunscreen when I looked up, I was always getting burnt. You would text me after work and I’d be outside by the time you got to mine. We’d drive the five minutes to the beach and watch the sun set and the sky illuminate with brilliant hues of red, orange and pink. You’d say something cheesy and grin as I take a picture, something like “The view is pretty but I think you’re prettier,” and I’d swat your arm and laugh at you for being lame. Sticky. That’s what summer was. Our hands were slippery from rubbing local riot magazine // 28
sunscreen into each other’s shoulders. They got too warm and sweaty when we held hands while walking, we did it anyway. Yours just seemed to fit so perfectly with mine. We’d get ice-creams and walk through the park, the conversation was limited as we tried to eat them before they melted all over us. We’d lay back and look at the clouds and you’d point out the different animals and creatures you saw within them. Our cloud animals were never the same, you saw a dragon where I saw a rabbit, but it was fun and it was warm and it was with you, so it made it okay. Live music filled our nights. We’d meet up with friends or just go the two of us to whatever gig we had planned that evening. Dancing together and shouting the lyrics as we laughed and smiled our night away. It was always warm coming home, and we’d walk through the poorly lit streets, your hand enclosed in mine, as we talked aimlessly about our hopes, desires, fears and dreams. You made my sun shine and the days bright. The summer was wholesome, we lived through a rose-tinted lens.
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Summer: The season of appreciation, procrastination and new destinations.
Summer is my favourite season. Like, how can’t it be? There’s warm weather constantly, Christmas, no school, Australia Day, you name it. My perspective of summer is one from the beautiful southern hemisphere, specifically Australia. Summer is the time when you wake earlier because of the warmth, do and see more because of the beautiful weather and appreciate the positive aspects of life more. I would say for me personally, that summer makes me a happier, more whole and satisfied human. I correlate positivity, appreciation, enjoyment and experience with the season of summer. Summer is my happy time. Summer is when you endure the 40-degree days by relaxing next to the pool or on the beach, while reading your favourite book or eating an ice cream, with the air conditioner permanently turned on. I’m just glad I don’t have to pay the electricity costs, sorry mum and dad. It is when you horridly overpay for Matso’s Ginger Beer and drink it with your love while being targeted for your English descent. Summer is when you sit inside all day and watch the Ashes, while your girlfriend falls asleep from the boredom of test cricket. Sorry, baby. Summer is the time for friends and experiences. Summer is when you play backyard cricket or laze in the sun being unknowingly burnt to a crisp and suffering afterwards, requiring large amounts of Aloe Vera aftersun spray. Shout out to Banana Boat. Everybody loves your advertisements.
Summer is when you eat fish and chips by the beach and watch the sunset. It’s the season for sunsets and when Instagram becomes inundated with sunset pictures. I am myself, guilty of spamming with beautiful sunset pictures. Summer is the time when you relax and spend quality time with your love. Summer is when you’re attacked by flies and become very agitated with their presence. Summer is when sleep is lost and uncomfortable and money is earned seeing as there’s no school or university. Summer is when you can say ‘Summer Vibes’ in your best British accent possible and not be ridiculed for it. Probably not true though. Summer is when you resemble a tomato and when your mum disapproves of the proportion of red skin on your body. Summer is when you use SPF 50+ and still get burnt to smithereens. Summer is the time for planning and creating. Given the amount of free time. Whether you’re planning a day out, how to get off work to hit up the beach or see your mates. Summer is when everyone plans to get ahead with university work and be that A++ student but really, they soak in the beautiful weather and that aspiration gets slowly forgotten about. Well, in my case. Respect to those that stick to it. Personally, summer is when I use up many SD cards with an abundance of the same sunset, park or overexposed sunshine image and use about 4 of them. It’s when you plan those illustrious trips you’ve always wanted to go on. Or it is also when you go on those trips. Summer will be when I work 4 times a week at a bowling alley, longing to be outside, so I can afford to see Melbourne and New Zealand with a very special and beautiful woman. Summer is that time when you chill and relax. It’s when you evaluate the year and make resolutions that you may or may not follow. It is a time when everybody deserves to be happy and loved. Summer is when you appreciate those around you that have made your year one to remember. There’s a person in my life that has done that for me, and she knows who she is. Summer is when you lounge about, absorb the rays and UV (not
too much, please be safe) and take a break. Summer is also when you potentially travel and experience another country with the hard-earned money you’ve earned throughout the year. Summer is also festive. Christmas is a lovely and warm occasion. Personally, Christmas in a warm country is better, just saying. Christmas is when you feel appreciated and you appreciate those closest to you via buying gifts for one another and as a male, receiving that Lynx deodorant pack just to authenticate the occasion. Summer is when you listen to your favourite music, like some Christmas top 50 hits, Triple J Top 100 (Not on Australia Day though), INXS, Tame Impala, The Beach Boys and surely some 80’s and 90’s hits for good measure. Summer is the best season. I hope your summer is peaceful, relaxing, wholesome and worthwhile. A very early Merry Christmas to you too. Let’s be honest, life’s better in thongs and boardies. I shall leave you with a quote from author, Henry James, “Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.” He’s not wrong, is he? Have a wonderful summer. Live it up. Jacob.
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Mia Vosburgh (Model: Natalie Thomson)
A column dedicated to and for the summer. 15 pieces of advice for you. Lesly Altamirano
☆ Never take advice from anyone. ☆ Lo que cuenta es lo de dentro- What matters most is what's on the inside. ☆ Never be sad about something for longer than a day. ☆ Tomorrow's a new day. ☆ Most of things you worry about never happen. ☆ Life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself. ☆ Friends will come and go. ☆ Learn to love yourself before you love someone else. ☆ Shit happens. ☆ The storm will pass. ☆ It is ok to say no. ☆ Don’t rush to grow up. ☆ Don’t be afraid to speak your voice! ☆ Not everyone will like you. ☆ Everything will be ok, eventually.
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THE BEACH sounds: ocean waves crashing one by one as they race each other to the shore families laughing with glee as they pass me by and walk along the sand music flowing through my left earphone (the only one that works) the leaves rustling in the summer breeze sight: footprints in the sand array of colours in the ocean, different shades of blues and greens rocks poking up through the water pages of my book lightly fluttering in the breeze feel: soft sand between my toes ocean breeze in my hair my skin heating up under the warmth of the sun cool water as it splashes at my legs taste: ocean salt in the air fresh strawberries my bottled water slowly becoming warmer flecks of sand that seem to find their way onto everything I touch smell: salty aroma of the ocean coconut scented sunscreen distinct odour of seaweed fresh
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Mia Vosburgh (Model: Natalie Thomson)
Mia Vosburgh (Model: Natalie Thomson)
sand at the beach (and in your car, and your room, and everywhere else you’re bound to find it), sunshine, homemade lemonade,
a clear sky with no clouds in sight, your backyard pool, swimming goggles, flat ocean
sunburnt skin, your new sundress, pink zinc stripes across cheeks, icy poles
undertones of the ocean, fake plants that won’t die in the heat, your new bathers, beach towel that’s either way too large or too small
beach bonfires, flippers, colourful flip flops, beach umbrella
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Falling: Autumn causes the leaves to fall, and the air becomes crisp. The leaves let go, acting as a gentle reminder that things have to fall apart to make way for better things.
SONGS FOR THE SEASON It is Autumn. The sun is slowly creeping behind the clouds and a cool breeze now follows you on the walk home. The leaves begin to fall, and so do you. Surrounded by the warm toned oranges and yellows, you begin to fall in love. With the boy in your English class who smiles a lot. With your best friend. Your hometown. Yourself. The sound of jazz music or the crackling of the fire. You find yourself falling, slowly. Then all at once. It feels like you’ve been swallowed by every last love cliché and every American teen movie, but you don’t mind; not anymore. All that matters is the sound of leaves crunching under your feet, and the feel of their hand in yours.
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Fooled Around and Fell in Love Elvin Bishop Can’t Help Falling in Love Elvis Presley Indiana Sun Chase Coy Call You Home Kelvin Jones Place We Were Made Maisie Peters Winter Song The Head and the Heart Yellow Coldplay You Remind Me of Home Benjamin Gibbard Suitcase Full of Sparks Gregory Alan Isakov Welcome Home Radical Face Lucky Jason Mraz + Colbie Caillait Our House Crosby, Stills & Nash
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YOUR SAY: What does home look/ feel like to you?
Home could and has been many places for me - somewhere I feel comfortable and welcome. - Chanel, 22
Home feels like when the two of us listen to records together and donâ€™t have to talk. - Anonymous Home is the place where I can fully be myself, surrounded with the people I love. - Emma, 17
I was brought up in two countries and I call both Home. Itâ€™s wherever you feel most connected to and have a strong sense of belonging. - Shimin, 20
My partner and I giving our puppy morning cuddles in bed. - Catey, 19
Home is where the pups are. - Tim, 19
Home feels like comfort and warmth. Itâ€™s being surrounded by the people you love and those who love you, no matter where you are. - Ailish, 19
Looks like an on-going art project, constant small changes, new throw pillows, an art deco plate from the salvos, a coat of paint. Smells like fresh linen and dinner cooking on the hob. Sounds like a comforting conversation or just comfortable silence. Tastes like junk food when you sit down to watch the Great British Bake Off or binging Star Wars. Feels soft and content, where I can be whichever version of myself I am that day. - Emily, 19
Home feels like my favourite song, a pair of arms and a soft smile. It feels like resting after constantly looking for something/someone. It feels like feeling peaceful in a completely foreign place.. - Imane, 18
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Home cannot be defined as something singular. It can be anything: a roof over your head, a warm shelter in the freezing winter months. Home is a safe haven. A place where you can be accepted and loved for who you are. It's that corner of paradise in which you retreat at the end of a long day. The sense of familiarity you bask in: from the scent of your favourite cookies that your mom has been baking ever since you were little, to the sight of wilted roses on the coffee table in the living room. But who are we to label home as a sturdy building? This simple word that rolls off your tongue so sweetly has no limits in meaning. A man, wise beyond his years once said: "Home is where your heart is. If your heart hasn't found its home yet, you've been knocking on the wrong door. Do not worry, for time is not wasted. You are young. You are allowed to have doubts once in a while. But do not dwell too much on them because that will be the end of you. When you're young, the world expects you to know what you want in life and chase whatever that thing is. But life isnâ€™t as easy as a finger snap. You might get confused. Everything might seem overwhelming. You might even reach a breaking point. That's okay. Not having a plan B is okay. Just remember to pick yourself back up. Finding the perfect home for your heart is a perpetual journey. Allow yourself to wander. Explore your options and go beyond. Don't embark on this journey expecting it to go smoothly. Life is just like the rough sea: its waves carry your boat to great distances. You're the sailor. Take control of your boat or you might drown. The key to finding your home is patience. Patience to rediscover yourself. Find something you love doing and pour your heart in it. Let yourself driven by passion. Give your all and wait until you reap the fruits of your labor. And when that moment finally comes, be thankful. You're home. local riot magazine // 50
Ailish Delaney It was in autumn when the cracks began to show. The air began to cool and so did we. Our days were filled with binge watching movie sagas and TV shows. We’d cuddle up on the couch and you’d make a comment about the fluffy socks I was wearing. You’d pull me closer and kiss my forehead as I got comfortable and leant into you. We discovered a liking for baking. You’d tag me in videos on Facebook and we’d try and recreate them at home, cookies stuffed with Oreos, cake in a cup, most of which turned out disastrously, but it was fun nonetheless. I’d wash the dishes and you’d dry and pack them away as we sang along to your playlist for the month. You finished and looked at me with a cruel twinkle in your eye before chasing me around the house with the tea towel. Things were still warm inside, they were good. Outside, the air had begun to chill. We’d go out for dinner or dessert and see a movie or go to a bar. You’d tell me that I looked nice that evening and I’d say the same. You’d wrap your arm around my shoulder and I’d fit mine around your waist as we walked. The dead leaves were crisp and crunched beneath our feet. You laughed at the enjoyment I got as I stepped on them. Our cheeks were flushed and we’d hold each other closer for warmth. I hung onto your every word as you talked and watched your eyes light up and dart around as you spoke passionately about something you were trying to explain to me, and then I’d laugh and call you a nerd. I thought we would last forever. local riot magazine // 52
The cracks in the pavement mirrored what happened in autumn. The things we found likeable and cute in the summer started to become annoying and irritating. We’d argue over little things, things that didn’t matter when the weather was warmer. You didn’t like my best friend and how much time I spent with him, I didn’t like you being controlling, jealousy wasn’t cute anymore. You didn’t like how I never made the bed, I didn’t like how you always failed to put your dishes away, we were a different type of messy that didn’t seem to match the other. Movie choices, deciding where to eat, text messages that were left on read, so many tiny details became the starting points of arguments. We always came back to one another, someone always caved. “I’m sorry. You know I love you, okay?” “I love you too.” We let things slide because love could conquer all. You began to grow distant and I probably did too. It was as if we were tiptoeing around each other, walking on eggshells afraid one of us would cause a damage that we couldn’t heal. We were afraid of the end. The leaves were falling around us and we were falling too, a different type of falling to spring, this time it was out of love.
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5 QUOTES FOR GROWING UPâ€¨ AMANDA ODINA There is an awkward and difficult transition between graduating high school and moving on to the up hill battle of the real world. Growing up is hard and most of the time, things don't always go as expected, something that can either be your greatest opportunity or your worst nightmare. Your parents might add some extra pressure to get a job or study in uni, your friends could gradually start to drift, or you might be facing anxieties over the direction of your life. Sometimes you need affirmations or words of wisdom as a little pick-me-up.
ACCEPT THAT WHICH YOU CANNOT CHANGE People are going to move on, it's part of life. Sometimes it's for the best and it usually hurts like hell. Everyone is entitled to their own perspective and opinions, you can't control that and you might just have to step back and accept that that's the way of the world. There are other things right around the corner.
DO WHAT YOU LOVE Don't let the opinions of others or the fear of choosing our dream, which might seem outlandish or unachievable, stop you from doing exactly what you want to do.
ALL GREAT CHANGES ARE PROCEEDED BY CHAOS Leaving the structure of and every day commitment of high school is a huge step in life, a great change if you will. There will be unprecedented challenges that will weigh heavy on your life, so be prepared. For one, it's going to happen, and two, it's worth it.
MAY YOUR CHOICES REFLECT YOUR HOPES NOT YOUR FEARS Make your decisions based on what your passions are and what you want, instead of being afraid to take the risks that lead you in the direction you prefer.
WHEN YOU CANT FIND THE SUNSHINE BE THE SUNSHINE The world, especially today, is missing a lot of positivity. While it is important, the news tends to focus on all the bad in the world. Stop for a second and be the light, shine some much needed positivity. local riot magazine // 55
trees slowly losing their leaves, sturdy boots, fire pits, sâ€™mores, mugs of hot chocolate
warm scarves, apples for a pie, sweaters, early sunsets
crisp leaves under your feet, pumpkins waiting to be carved, roasted vegetables, early sunsets
halloween candy, blankets added to the end of the bed for extra warmth, bulbs that will grow in spring
morning dew on the lawn, the last few lively leaves, jumping on leaves at the park
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In between coffee sips and long walks around the city here’s a playlist for YOUR autumn, 18 songs to groove to. Lesly Altamirano
Sativa - Jhene Aiko iRun - PnB Rock, Lil Yachty Love N Hennessy - A.CHAL Show Me A Good Time - Drake Pound Cake / Paris Morton Music 2 Drake Summer Nights - Lil Yachty Uvaje'D - Allan Kingdom Hips Don't Lie - Shakira Potential - Quentin Miller Dreams Money Can Buy - DJ Tilly U Can't Be My Baby - Foggieraw Uber Everywhere - MadeinTYO T-Shirt - Migos Shorty - Felly Glow Like Dat - Rich Chigga Chaos - Rich Chigga P.O.P - Belly Icon - Jaden Smith
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And There is Also Pain With Love Sam Passman To begin the ways I’ve fallen in love with Ange, I have to start with the painful part. We met in the warmth of spring. I was foolish enough to kiss her after knowing her for less than a day, a fact I still kick myself for. This is not the painful part. I saw her again, draped in the night sky. She wore a suit and a stunning star printed shirt to a dance we both attended. But she was with another girl. One who easily surpassed my humble looks in beauty. This is the painful part. My throat clenched, and I left the dance in tears. I swam home in a sea of sadness and regret. Regret that I could be foolish enough to think she might be interested in me. Regret that I didn’t look prettier. Regret that I even bothered to go to that silly dance. I didn’t see her again until the ends of summer. New freckles dusted across my skin. I can’t remember why we decided to hang out, but I remember that she was still beautiful and I still hurt. Somehow, we ended up talking about kissing. I offered to let her kiss me, and she said, “Not now”. That was the beginning. This is the wonderful part. I met her, watching the sunset, and we ended up kissing in her car. My heart threatened to leave my chest, swan-diving from my ribcage to her arms. We met again for milkshakes. I was so nervous that I arrived an hour early, too anxious to stay put any longer. She kissed me again, and I think that was when I asked her to be my girlfriend. local riot magazine // 63
I realised my love for Ange and that I was in love with her one day on the cusp of fall. Ange was tangled up in my arms, both of us drifting between being asleep and being awake. She was laughing and talking to me, and it hit me. I felt like my heart was trying to escape again. And I told her. “Ange, I love you”. It was lost in the air, as if the wind was trying to tell me I had made a mistake. Air conditioning has never sounded louder. But this is not a painful part. It was beautiful and it was real. She looked up at me with her beautiful, deep blue eyes. That was love. Falling in love with her has been mornings full of cooking, kisses while dancing together, singing and laughing, watching movies. It’s been watching her play music, being incredibly proud of how far she’s come, crying together when things are hard. It’s been decorating, looking for adventures, and chasing sunsets. Falling in love has been so beautiful, and I am so lucky to continue falling for her. I will chase sunsets for as long as I have her by my side to help me.
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Reflecting: The winter weather is blue and so are you. The rain keeps you in your room, leaving you with plenty of time to overthink and no time to act. But do not fret, the winter will pass and so will this feeling.
SONGS FOR THE SEASON The rain starts to fall signalling the beginning of Winter and the end of your social life. The mornings are filled with car rides where the heater only blasts warm air when you have to get out the car, and the nights have set a personal challenge of how many pairs of socks you can wear at the same time. You find yourself memorising the fall walls of your bedroom, and pretending to read books as your mind wanders. A wave of nostalgia crashes over you, as you begin to think about all the little details you thought you'd forgotten. You begin to miss your old best friend, and regret not studying for the test you did averagely in last year. You think that maybe you're not liked by many people, or maybe you don't spend enough time with your mum. An endless stream of thoughts until you've made yourself sad. You lie on your bed and play melancholic music to accompany the thoughts running around your mind; so easily forgetting that flowers need water to grow.
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Constellations - Tom Odell Seasons - Chase Coy Mother Earth - Banks Fix You - Coldplay Blue - Joni Mitchell Never Enough - Loren Allred Human - The Killers Sleep on the Floor - The Lumineers Someone Like You - Adele Fifteen - Taylor Swift Keep On Loving You - Cigarettes After Sex Hurt - Johnny Cash Holding on and Letting Go - Ross Copperman
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how to beat the sad Ioana Florescu
A self-care guide Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a mood disorder subset in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year exhibit depressive symptoms at the same time each year, most commonly in the winter. As someone who has been battling depressive episodes for years now, I have to confess that it never crossed my mind that there might be a specific reason why winter makes me sad. But wait, how can that be? Winter, although the coldest season of them all, is also a good reminder of the holiday season. How can anyone be sad during Christmas, right? No, just because there are people like me and you who don’t rejoice in the fabricated beauty of Christmas, that does not mean that we’ve all become the Grinch. SAD is as real as me and the person you bump into on the street. What can you do to combat SAD? (not permanently though, as sadness is a part of everyone’s life at some point or the other) Yes, being sad is what makes us human, but that does not mean that we should spend every second of our lives suffering. Here are my ten, tried and tested ways to combat seasonal affective disorder during the cold months.
1.Set the tone
This can mean anything you want it to mean, as long as you have a designated space for yourself, your “feel good” cocoon.
2. Read a book
Literature is infinite, you don’t have to restrict yourself to only reading fiction to have a good time by yourself. If you find enjoyment in reading about philosophy, or
maybe you’re interested in self help books, go ahead. The possibilities are endless, your imagination can travel as far as you allow it to.
3. Drink a warm beverage
This one kind of ties with the previous tip, but nevertheless, I found that it works. Not only would you satisfy your thirst but the warmth of said drink can improve your mood dramatically. Once again, a hot drink ranges from mulled wine to green tea. Pick a favourite and stick to it. Or don’t. Switch drinks up once in a while.
4. Colour in a colouring book Take up a hobby Resume an old project you were passionate about I chose adult colouring books as an example because they remind me of simpler times, of my childhood. Feel free to distract your mind as you please, as long as it makes you happy.
5. Listen to your favourite artist’s album
This one is pretty much self-explanatory. If you ask me, music has the biggest impact on our mood and, in order to kick SAD’s ass, try listening to whatever music makes you happy. Bonus points if you take your time to create a playlist, I do recommend doing that, it’s so much fun.
6. Watch your favourite movies
Again, this tip might be a little redundant, but as someone who is constantly inspired by visual art, I can only stress the importance of this tip. All of us have reasons why we choose to watch a movie, maybe you like the star-studded cast. Someone else might draw inspiration from the fashion sense in the film. Others local riot magazine // 69
may be interested in watching a movie solely because they like the soundtrack going along with it. Nevertheless, a film is always a good idea.
7. Cuddle up to a significant other or a pet (if you own any) 8. Get some sun in your system
During the cold months, our body starts producing less and less vitamin D, due to less exposure to sunlight. This is why most people experience symptoms of depression, lethargy and encounter a decrease in appetite. Ergo, try to see the sun for a few hours every day.
9. Get a good night’s sleep
While Vitamin D’s main source is the sun, melatonin, also known as “the sleep hormone” comes from, you guessed it, being well-rested. Not only could your body use the extra hour of sleep and lying in during the day, but your mind will appreciate taking a break.
10. Talk it out
Venting to someone willing to listen to you has to be one of the most fulfilling feelings in the world. You must realise that there are people who want to help you get past this period. All you have to do is ask for help. Open up, be honest, be sincere. There’s nothing wrong with being helpless. If you find yourself in this situation, speak up to whomever wants to listen. Anyone can hear you, very few are capable of listening. Trust me on this one.
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TEEANA STARK As the Winter was left behind, and Spring reached the front of the line. Old things died. Your heart changed itâ€™s mind, and I too, was left behind.
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Ailish Delaney I thought we would last forever but seasons change and so do people. We loved with a love that was more than love, but everything comes to an end. The weather became cold as winter drew upon us. The air was thick and icy, and so were we. The love had turned cold, “I’m sorry. I love you,” was no longer a solution to everything. We drew apart, we were no longer the people who had fallen in love in the spring. Your words hung over me like a weight I wasn’t sure I could carry. I was scared I was going to crumble. I saw it coming, we both knew it was inevitable, but it was you who cut the strings. The dead tree was cut down and a stump was left in its place. We no longer spoke, things were still fresh and they hurt like hell. Even as time went by, the chill never passed. Being alone brought a new kind of sadness. We experienced a different first, our first heartbreak. I would have moments where everything would hit me at once, a feeling of loneliness that was so heavy I wouldn’t know what to do but be crushed by it until I could get back up again. I doubted myself, it was my fault we broke up, it was because I wasn’t good enough, I should’ve changed, I wasn’t pretty enough, I wasn’t…. My words and thoughts made me feel worse. It was hard to remind myself that I would be okay again. I was okay before you, I’d be okay after. Winter was cold, but it was what I needed. I held my own hand when I walked down the street. I held myself tight and folded my hands under my armpits for extra warmth, when I would have leant into you. The cold winter air became local riot magazine // 76
refreshing. I focused on myself for myself. It was a period of reflection. I took myself to gigs, to movies, out for coffee. I involved myself with my friends and my hobbies. I missed you, but in a different way. We loved each other and I was crippled by the loss of that love, but I found love within myself and I didn’t need you for that. I saw you in the street. You were walking out a café holding what I assumed to be your usual coffee, a regular flat white with one sugar, and stopped when you saw me. We were both flushed from the cold, rosy cheeks and awkward smiles. You seemed nervous and we didn’t know what to say. “Hey.” “Hey.” We made small talk and you said we should catch up some time, we both knew that we wouldn’t but I said yes anyway. Our rose-tinted lens had been shattered and things had come full circle. We were now two strangers, which is how we began.
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stormy weather, iceskating, waves that grow relentlessly with the wind
cloudy days, crisp cool air, snowfall, warm bubble baths, steam rising out of a hot mug
wooly blankets, heavy coats, thick socks, berets
fireplaces burning, gingerbread men, golden sunlight reflecting off the snow
flushed cheeks from the cold air, warm gloves, soup, flannel pyjamas
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I have always loved Winter. The big coats, fluffy socks, and hot coffee always appealed to me more than flip-flops, heat, and ice-cream. As generic as it may seem, I have always believed that one of life's greatest pleasures is being rugged up in your favourite blanket, whilst sipping on a warm drink and reading a book as the rain hits your window. However, although this idea sounds appealing, there are times when I find that I can't bring myself to focus. Winter brings with it copious amounts of personal reflection, and as such I use up all my brain cells and my reading falls by the wayside. I push myself to read the classics, because I feel like I need to. But over time I have found the best way to combat a reading slump is separating my books into two categories. The first is books that, more often than not, belong to the literary canon. This is your Fitzgeralds, Austens, and Tolstoys. Many of them are brilliant reads, with strong messages, and poetic writing, but are too much for my overworked brain. The second is books that are frequently disregarded as "easy books." As if the author didn't put as much work into them. These books however, allow you to read no matter what mood you're in. Books that flow smoothly, and aren't too long, or well written books with simple yet intriguing storylines. My favourite is re-reading novels I loved as a kid, such as Enid Blyton books. They're simple because they're made for children but they still take you to another world and let you make a little home in there for awhile. I promise finding books you genuinely enjoy and can read with ease, and setting them apart for the reading slumps, will ensure you find your nose in a book all year long.
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Tim Coombs Abstract; It only armed appropriate with the year coming to a close and the discussion of seasons to bring to light the journey and struggle this period has thrown me through. If nobody can relate to this self-interested monologue then I am content with that because the only cure I've found for these thoughts violently bouncing around my head is to express them, however poorly. If you can find any part of yourself in these words then I want you to know that it's not going to end you. In all honesty, I don't know what will happen but I know that you are appreciated and loved by someone and you deserve to make the most of the things that you can't negotiate. Don't stop becoming who you want to be. It was hard. The year past was hard. It kicked my ass. To put it in more dramatic and descriptive terms (as I will attempt to do) is excessive. Profound change occurred in my life at this time. For that reason, it has been the most strenuous, testing, and at times painful, period I have endured. I encountered continuous crawl from challenge to trial and from pain to pressure, but ultimately a catalysation of my growth. Both situation and my response impacted this year's fruit in my circumstance and expectations. The source of this barrage of tribulations: change. Unrelenting, merciless, erratic change. As these changes perplexed my sanity I began to see the seasons of life take hold, driving me to a point where I had to question my identity, purpose and belonging. All the while incident racing destructively by me. The seasons this year visible on the surface were the extreme lifestyle changes that seemed to occur in distinctive sections. Firstly, the transition from high school straight into a period of intense partying and steam blowing. This section was followed by a lunge into the deep end which was starting university, where I discovered that I was completely underprepared and unmotivated and unclear and most of all terrified of the pressure to choose who I wanted to become. I
I endured the abrasive semester despite my apathetic and bleak outlook on the course I was studying, my ability to pursue it and my deteriorating mental health. Through struggle and strain I emerged lifelessly on the most challenging period of my life. I was greeted on the other side with a complete circle of the globe, which would be the highlight of my year. It provided an escape from my situation, which I definitely needed, but not from myself. I found a polarity of emotions on this trip; the great wonder of seeing and experiencing the world but equally the great fear of its size and population, with me but a meaningless and unvital link in the chain. I cherish every moment I spent on this journey, but by the end I was longing for a place that I could stay for more than a week at a time, a return to familiar faces and also a bit of a break from my family who I had spent the entirety of two months with. When I got home I decided to have a break from university, which gave me more spare time, but as I am currently learning no improvement in my attitude toward my situation. I actually enjoyed being sad at certain times. It sounds self-loathing to say but it was good to feel something that made me think, sparking small periods of creativity. I can't stand the anxious plateau where I feel sick in my stomach and completely numb to everything other than myself. I'm learning more that these extreme seasons are the ones I love, the ups and downs. I haven't yet learned to love the journey between them. I have however learnt that moments that you don't appreciate will slip by and the opportunity to make something happen for better or worse will be missed. This year bombarded me with more of these moments than I had time, or more likely energy, to allocate them sufficient thought. I think the most positive thing I can draw from this year is that I made a lot of tough decisions that required internal debate about whether the risk was worth it. The decisions I am least proud of are those that were easier, covetous or at times put my needs below a less vital desire. Each situation and resolve was important in transforming both who I am and who I want be, which was the biggest gift the seasons did or could have given to me.
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Then there were the non-seasonal changes, which are just as important to mention as those that came and went. These are the scars in my hands and the muscles in my back, the impact that abrupt change has left on me. To be truthful, I don't know if I am better or worse for this year. I don't feel stronger or healthier or like a better person. In contrast, I did learn an incredible amount about myself, the world and people around me. Then again, I don't know how this knowledge will serve me; is ignorance really bliss? These things stained me; the reality that I can't make everyone happy and still be happy myself, that by trying to do everything and have a colossal impact I was left overwhelmed and achieving nothing and that I need to have people helping me despite not wanting to drain their happiness off of them. The latter was the hardest as I didn't feel like anyone could truly help me. I still don't. However, a lantern in this calamity was the discovery that these non-seasonal problems and emotions may hinder my ability to deal with the ups and downs, but the challenges and celebrations will continue to push me downstream whether I strive against the tide with my stress and fear or not. Things change. If I didn't have any notion of this reality before, I do now. The fact is the seasonal stages in life don't always pan out the same. A storm may ambush summer or a calm night grace late August. The yin and yang don't fit together uniformly and distinctly. The exciting (and equally terrifying) phenomenon is that life is simultaneously completely out of and within our control. We can't choose the seas state but we can steer the vessel, with the hope that change will favour us when we reach the horizon. Sometimes it doesn't. Our hope in these moments in the memory of them, what we have seen, done, felt and the people who have been intertwined in them. As good times, friends and prosperity are inevitably lost, perhaps never to be replaced, the memories of the good and bad are our stories and are worth every hopeless moment and feeling that must be battled to attain them. This gives no comfort for today but provides hope at the very least for better hindsight and a chance to rectify. local riot magazine // 86
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How to be yellow when the weather is blue. Chelsea Murphy
If you’re like me (and like 90% of the population, probably), and tend to get a case of the winter blues when the cold weather starts to roll in, then here are some little tips and tricks to try out that might help pull you out of that funk, for a little while at least. Disclaimer: These are just some small things that have worked for me. If you’re struggling and need to talk to someone, I’ve left the number for lifeline Australia at the end of this article.
1. Hot drinks. All day every day. I’m probably the number one fan of hot drinks any
time of year. I try to be good to my body and treat it like a temple and all that garbage so green tea is my go to (about 6 cups a day), but when I need a really good pick me up I’ll fix myself a nice almond milk chai latte or if I’m sick I’ll make a nice big steamy black tea with honey/rice malt syrup and lemon. Sometimes I make that one even when I’m not sick. Wild, I know. But my point is, sometimes a little warmth inside can make you feel a little better when the weathers got you down, so make yourself a nice mug of hot chocolate or a coffee with as much sugar and milk as your heart desires and sit down to watch some quality vines or stare out the window or something, which brings me to my next point…
2. Stare out a window! Yes, I’m really suggesting that you should park your bum some place comfy and stare out the window. Preferably if it’s raining. Or snowing if that’s a thing where you live. We’re all guilty of doing the thing on car rides or on the bus etc. You know, the thing. The thing where you stare into the rain and local riot magazine // 89
pretend you’re in a music video and then whatever song you’re listening to/singing in your head suddenly becomes a whole new level of deep and you start thinking about every choice you’ve ever made and what’s the point of existence? And are you really a good friend? How can you be a better friend? And should you get bangs? We’ve all been there. Right? Right? Basically, sometimes when you’ve got a lot brewing, the best thing is to let the pot boil and stew in those thoughts and emotions for a bit. And yeah, you might feel a bit sadder about things for a while but once you’ve let yourself go over those things in your head for a good half hour or so you’re going to feel a weight off your shoulders. It just so happens that putting some time aside to stare out a window can and will inspire those thoughts within you, and only in those moments are we ever 100% honest with ourselves.
3. Eat some good food! This might mean you need some nice comfort food that is
probably not great for you but amazing for your mental health. Or it might mean taking care of your mind and your body and giving it the goodness it wants and deserves! Sometimes when I really need both of these things I make myself a delicious bowl of vegan mac and cheese, made with various vegetables, and chuck a bit of greenery on the side purely so I can pat myself on the back for being a health queen as I scarf down a kilo of pasta. If all you want is a nice warm dominoes to eat while distracting yourself from the storm happening outside with a good movie, try making your own pizza! Food always tastes the best when you make it yourself, am I right? Yeah, I know that’s total BS but it still feels good to make yourself something yummy and reasonably good for you. Two minute mug cakes are great, quick and easy treats if you don’t have the energy to leave the couch or your bed for more than five minutes at a time. Food heals, people.
4. Music. Much like the whole “staring out the window” thing, listening to rainy day
music can really bleed out those shitty feelings you’ve been holding in and do you a world of good. Here is my personal ‘rain’ playlist. Listen to some of these tunes or make your own playlist for days when you need it. Ionwhite - Lay With Me Jaymes Young - I’ll Be Good Oh Wonder - Plans Tash Sultana - Notion Wet - Deadwater Ziggy Alberts - Warm Coffee LANY - ILYSB (Stripped) local riot magazine // 90
Swim Deep - She Changes the Weather The 1975 - A Change of Heart Astrologyy - Don’t Need U The Smiths - There is a Light That Never Goes Out Anna Scouten - Just for Show Rhodes - Blank Space Hozier - Sedated Anna Scouten - Intuition Arctic Monkeys - Only Ones Who Know Keaton Henson - Sweetheart, What Have You Done to Us Lucy Rose - Shiver James Bay - Let It Go Billie Martin - Heavy Weather Iron & Wine- Each Coming Night The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build a Home Tom Odell -Heal Ruth B - Lost Boy James Vincent - Wicked Game (Recorded live) Coldplay - The Scientist Band of Horses - No Ones Gonna Love You Jacob Whitesides - Love Slow Leon - Liar Kyle Lionheart - Sleep by Rivers Banks - Crowded Places Billie Eilish - Ocean Eyes Obviously, sad music when you’re already feeling shitty isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.. *Sips my 5th cup of green tea for the day* So, if making a playlist of happy, upbeat songs that remind you of the sunshine and warmth makes you feel better then ignore everything I’ve just said and make the happiest sunshine playlist you’ve ever made (and please link me). Music is a really good outlet, whether you need a cry to feel better or to forget why you’re sad and belt out uptown funk in the middle of your living room.
5. Look after yourself. I’m completely guilty of lying in bed for days in winter
without changing or showering and it’s ridiculously easy to fall into that habit and lose motivation to do things like change underwear or wash your face but if you can local riot magazine // 91
muster up the slightest bit of strength even just to wash your hands and tie your hair up, you’ll feel better instantly. If you can bring yourself to leave the bed for an hour, shower, wash your hair, make your bed (even if you’re just going to lie back in it in five minutes anyway), put some clean clothes on, you will be far more comfortable and it might even help you gain a bit of motivation to do more, trust me. It might even just lift your mood a bit and hey, all victories are worth celebrating so don’t feel guilty if you get back in bed after a nice bath and reward yourself with another episode of Gossip Girl.
6. Talk to a friend. Text a friend or a family member and see what they’re up to.
It’s likely that someone else you know is also suffering from a case of the winter blues and might be up for talking about previously mentioned episode of Gossip Girl or whatever book they’ve been reading lately, or maybe venting to each other about shitty weather and shitty feelings might make you feel a little less isolated. Reach out when you can, even if it’s just to check in with a friend because who knows, maybe they need it more than you do.
7. Lastly, read a good book. There’s nothing I love more than escaping my own
thoughts with a fat-ass YA novel while it’s raining outside. Not everyone is into reading but if you are, try picking up an old favourite or even something you haven’t read yet and lose yourself in the story for a bit, because it’s okay to escape reality every now and then. My favourite recent reads have been Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman and Almost Adulting by Arden Rose. I really hope at least one of my little tips have helped you, but if they haven’t then I strongly recommend noting what does and doesn’t help you during the colder months and writing them down. Remember that you’re never alone and if you’re feeling hopeless, there is help out there. Reminder that the number for Lifeline Australia is 13 11 14. Your friend, Chels local riot magazine // 92
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Blooming: Spring is often associated with blooming. The flowers bloom, and so do people as they let the winter blues melt away. A brief and beautiful season that pushes you to reinvent yourself.
SONGS FOR THE SEASON Spring has sprung, as the cold of the winter begins to fade and the sun comes out from behind the clouds. The weather app tells you its going to be relatively warm on Saturday, so you grab your younger sister, your best friends, and your boyfriend and tell them its time for a road trip. Saturday rolls around and you all pile into your car, you've grabbed a map because you know the chances of you getting Virgin to track your location is useless. You pass your phone around and one by one you all add songs to your spring roadtrip playlist. The aircon has never worked well, so you roll down the windows; screaming lyrics at the top of your lungs to a collection of songs that couldn't be more diďŹ€erent, or work any better together. You take it in turns choosing whether you turn left or right at the next intersection, knowing it doesn't matter where you end up; because it's all about the journey not the destination. Spring has most definitely sprung, and the troubles of winter have definitely melted away.
She Changes The Weather Â Swim Deep When We Swam - Theo and the Get Down Stay Down Malibu - Miley Cyrus 4Ever - The Veronicas It's Alright - Little Red Rolling On - The Murlocs Friday I'm in Love - The Cure Teenage Dream - Katy Perry BOY - Little Numbers Brandy (You're A Fine Girl) - Looking Glass Our Place - Verge Collection Boy You're a Pretty Girl - The Kin Silver Tongue - Lucy Peach Cracklin' Rosie - Neil Diamond
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TEEANA STARK One day your storm will slow to a spring rain. When youâ€™re happy, when you love yourself. When you have it all figured out. That day will come, and I will appreciate a violent storm, but Iâ€™ll be in love with the spring rain.
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Amandier en fleur Van Gough’s Almond Blossom By Cian Hussey
It’s always amazed me how such simple, often seemingly trivial, things can make me appreciate life much more than I usually do. A song, a painting, or just a wall that’s painted a nice colour, have a profound effect on how I think or feel for the rest of the day. These small things are those that best capture the idea of “blooming” for me; they are the pretty aspects of life that give insight and inspiration, that make me feel as though life has a more nuanced meaning than I may realise. When I think of blooming, the idea of growing and blossoming, of realising and developing something in my life, I think of a tree and the way it grows, which is perhaps clichéd, but nonetheless is a perfect metaphor. As we learn more about ourselves, various topics, and life, we are striving for the ‘sunlight’ that knowledge provides to our branches. These branches are a symbol of the things that we know, the gross sum of all our knowledge. As these branches grow, the roots that keep us grounded to real life also grow; growth of branches allow for deepened roots. That is why when I learn something new, or I see a nice painting or building, my appreciation for life is deepened. Perhaps that is the value of what Josh Tillman distinguishes as art as opposed to entertainment: art allows us to face up to and explore life. Everyday objects that are in some way artistic, along with the usual suspects of literature, music, theatre, and so on, allow for a lasting insight into the realities of life, which in turn facilitates the development of our roots. local riot magazine // 102
This is what comes to mind when I think about Spring and blooming – it is the very natural process of learning and growing, one which excites me, although I often find it hard to grapple with. Amandier en fleur, or Almond Blossom, is one of my favorite paintings. It looks to me like blooming feels. The blossoms are a representation of the process that I think us humans go through. ‘Blossoms’ are the fleeting moments of optimism which are quickly pruned by self-doubt and laziness, among other things. Much like a tree grows leaves during the Spring only for them to fall, people experience these moments of blooming although they are so often short-lived. But what individuals might often forget is that the cycle of blooming and falling is completely natural; a tree is never disheartened by Autumn as it knows that Spring will come around again. We shouldn’t be frightened by the idea of blooming; we shouldn’t be held back by the realisation that what it is we are trying to nurture and develop can fall at any time. Perhaps it is this thought that holds us back from truly experiencing these blossoms in our lives. We should embrace the fact that we can experience these sensations over and over again: every time we realise something new our minds work this new thing into our roots, and we can gain a deeper appreciation for life. Even when our branches are cut back and fall, our roots don’t change. So go out, find a pretty painting or have an engaging conversation: we can experience these blossoms on any day if we look for them.
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five senses of the heart amanda odina My vision was instantly impaired as the light, once lost in the blues of winter, glared through the blinds. I peered out of my window to see the new colours of spring that seemed to have appeared overnight, although my reasoning knew it had occurred more gradually. Grateful for the sun after the series of literal and metaphorical rainy days, I was excited to see what the world outside had to offer. Without a second hesitation, I dressed for the fresh season and greeted the new day with a smile. I walked where my eyes lead me, attracted to the various colours brought by spring. Pinks, yellows, purples and bright greens surrounded me as I strolled without purpose through the somewhat busy park. I wouldn't remember it to be a Sunday when I thought back on the day, I would just remember the colours that drew me from the confines of my home or what I knew more clearly as the place I had cried night after night about the one who broke my heart. Today I felt elated with the flowers that stood tall thanks to the power of the sun, almost as if I was a flower myself. There were kids on the playground, couples sheltered by the trees and ducks in the pond. Parents were chatting, teens were texting and dogs were running. But, wait! What's that? My eyes followed through as I scanned the park over to the woman crouched beside her bike. The sight of blood usually a deterrent, but I couldn't help but notice that the woman was alone and in pain. Sucking in my gut, I rushed to the side of the fallen woman. Did blood even have a scent? I wondered as I dramatically kept myself from gagging as I aided the woman to her shaky feet. Luckily, the wind blew past and the woman's sweet perfume replaced the mysterious smell. Cherries or fairy floss? I thought as the two of us recovered ourselves. Niceties were exchanged before the woman took off with her bike, this time walking by it's side. Filled with curiosity and a recent craving for either cherries or fairy floss, I followed the dominating scent of the woman's perfume. However, I soon feared that I could have easily been perceived as a stalker if I had continued with my pursuit, so with a final inhale of the sweet perfume (that I was now desperate to find in stores), I parted ways with the fragrant stranger.
Slowly, but completely the aroma of the stranger had settled and I began to notice the other scents that loomed around me with more clarity. Naturally, I hoped the flowers would fill my senses as I imagined they smelt lovely, but I wasn't so lucky. To the left was a pungent and rancid smell from the pond, and to the right of me a family gathered around a barbecue with something cooking that smelt more burnt than tasty. I walked on with the hopes that I may encounter more sweet smells as I wasn’t going to allow a few almost nauseating smells to ruin my day. After all, the stench I imagined of the blood from the woman with the bike was closely followed by the smell of her cherry-floss perfume. So I imagined the smell, the trace of the cherry hung close to my nostril although it wasn’t quite just a trace…“Sorry,” I shook to the sound of the woman’s voice. “Gosh, I didn’t mean to startle you.” I followed the sound of the woman’s words as the strangers smile grew from cheek to cheek. “I startle easily,” I fumbled with my words, the sound of my own voice as unappealing as nails on a chalkboard. While a dramatic comparison, does anyone really like the sound of their own voice? “I’ll know better next time.” She smiled. I was comforted by her smile and felt my shoulders ease to the tune of her speech. “You helped me earlier when I fell off my bike and I wanted to thank you properly. I’m Florence.” I was only now detecting Florence’s accent, the slight ring at the end like music to my ears. I imagined that Florence might find her voice appealing just as I had. “And I thought that it would be better to introduce myself rather than stalk you around the park,” I laughed just too much and too loud in reply. For the next few hours, I listened to the melody that played through her speech over a fruit basket that she had intended to “share with the ducks, but you’re a better alternative”. Alternative… Florence’s pronunciation hung on the tip of her tongue and in my mind until she spoke other words with four syllables. In the moments few and far between that we were silent, the birds would chirp like something straight out of a movie, so impossibly perfect that it couldn't have been real. Only in spring I suppose. Like two peas in a pod or those two bees in that flower, the two of us grew inevitably closer and physically closer. I leant over to pick a strawberry as she reached for a grape and our skin met in the middle. The smooth encounter was a welcomed sensation as we both slowly pulled away, not after retrieving my strawberry of course. She smiled wearily at me, bringing the attention to the touch. local riot magazine // 107
She poked at my hand, curious of the silver band adorned over my right, middle finger. I watched on as she slid the silver between her fingertips over my skin. The single and small touches, her hand on my knee and my arm over her shoulder as we relaxed on what felt like the first genuine day of spring, sent sparks through my body. I remember the type as if I could be falling in love all over again. There must be something in the air. She combed her fingers through my hair, a gentle hand massaging my scalp, and, in that moment, I swear I was utterly swept away by the gorgeous woman. The strawberries she had packed in her basket were the best ones I have ever had. The juicy fruit was tender to bite through and perfectly sweet on the inside. I witnessed her create the fusion of chocolate dipped strawberries, swirling the ripe fruit through the creamy, melted chocolate. She fed it to me and I embraced the different flavours. The chocolate was rich as I swiped my tongue across the smooth texture, soon followed by the juicy explosion as I pierced my teeth into the strawberry. How often does someone come across the perfect strawberry? I savoured every bite as she insisted I tried other combinations of the snacks she packed in her woven picnic basket. She had a strange taste, mixing bites of cheese and chocolate or melon and chocolate… essentially anything with chocolate! We shared a laugh when the chocolate smeared across my face as I anticipated the trial of chocolate on a carrot stick. She gently swiped her finger over the mess, ushering her fingertips past my lips. I happily caressed the sweet taste off her finger as the world seemed to disappear in the light of our time together. I leant closer towards her, yearning for more of the familiar and addictive sugary taste that was fresh on her lips. As if I had known her forever, I met my plump lips to hers. The flavour of chocolate never tasted so euphoric or so liberating as I flaunted my most authentic self to the world around me. I remember that spring day with the utmost clarity. Firstly, the traditional aspects of spring that revealed themselves to their greatest capacity: the flowers, the first glare of the sun and the ultimate disappearance of the blue feeling hidden deep in my gut. Those features blended with the fact that it stands as my most vibrant and genuine memory of love. The experience is incomparable to anything I have ever known, and so epic that I can recount the story easily with vivid description of each of the five senses — sight, smell, sound, touch and taste — that all played an important part in the progression of what I remember now as the most perfect day. Cast that aside and, even so, that day was incredible because it was the day I couldn’t deny who I was and began to accept myself for who I truly am.
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local riot magazine // 109
TEEANA STARK The wind lead me to the rain, and when the storm passes the flowers will bloom. In the shades of all the brightest colours, and ours will be golden, bright and blue.
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local riot magazine // 111
i. there is a broken pot outside my window a weed sits helplessly. i used to find shards of glass thorns off roses and collect them. ii. i found a lone weed. it begged me to bring it with me wanted to know warmth and love and safety. or was i the weed looking for a home? iii. kind words bring me back from my stupor my self-induced coma i wanted isolation like the invisibility of a clover cloaked by the shade under a tree.
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iv. you grow like a weed and i smile ivy twists into my teeth kudzu entangled in my hair v. i am content dandelion wishes bring me peace no longer do i search for a home i am a weed and i am alive and i am alright. vi. i fix the broken pot outside my window and wait for what comes next with ivy in my smile and kudzu in my hair. i am ready and i will give kind words.
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local riot magazine // 116
The beginning. I was reading in a cafĂŠ when I heard the scratch of the bar stool next against the floor as it was dragged out. It was you who sat down. You were drinking a flat white with one sugar, which I later learned was your regular. You smiled at me as you sat down, as if to say hello. We sat in silence for a while, you were writing notes about something in a journal. That was the first time I saw you. The next time I saw you was in the same coffee shop a week later. It was this time that you started a conversation, after all you had sat next to me on the same stool again. This was the first time I really looked at you. I saw your slightly shaggy hair and the way the skin around your eyes creased when you smiled. I noticed the freckles that dotted your cheeks and the lopsided grin Iâ€™d later fall in love with. Your eyes were a piercing blue yet warm and welcoming. I wanted to get to know you and apparently you thought the same of me. It was in spring that we began. A season of firsts and of blooming. We had our first date, the typical dinner and a movie. We grew together and learnt who the other really was. Your favourite colour was blue, mine red. You wanted to live in Canada someday, so did I. Your favourite movie was Mad Max, mine was We Bought a Zoo. You liked to read, had one sibling, loved animals, and wanted to travel. We were caught up in our own world, trying to take it all in as fast as we could. We wanted to know everything about each other. local riot magazine // 117
The weather was warm but not unbearable. The flowers were coming out of a deep winter sleep. We had picnics on plaid blankets by the beach and in parks. We went for hikes to see underwhelming waterfalls in the hills and on road trips to lakes a few hours away. You met my family, my mum loved you, and I met yours. We showed each different bands and you told me how you make a monthly playlist. The next time we listened to it while driving you had added my suggestions. We spent our days messaging each other and when werenâ€™t doing that we were together. We felt like we were invincible, nothing could tear us apart. We were warm and happy. The weather was getting warmer and it seemed like only better times were ahead.
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TEEANA STARK It aches me to say, that i canâ€™t write masterful poetry for her, like I did for you. When you did not deserve the words I gave you. She is soft and kind, like rose petals in spring time. You were cold and cruel, like the winter storms that brew. She deserves all those beautiful words, not you.
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flower petals, maxi skirts, colour coming back to your face after a cold winter
sunny days, bees out to pollinate, sunflowers in bloom
freshly cut grass, new leaves on the trees, flowers beginning to sprout
lavender, your clean bed sheets fresh off the washing line, icy poles
clear blue sky, light sprinkles of rain, fresh berries
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local riot magazine // 121
Growth. Blooming. New beginnings. Renewal. Spring is the season associated with each of these, the season of finding and becoming a better version of yourself. Being the best version of myself is something that I think about frequently. I always want to strive to better myself and know that there are a multitude of things that I can work on. Selfreinvention is a concept that I am behind. I think it’s important to be able to take time to reflect on yourself as a person and recognise what you can do better - how you can be nicer to others, what you can to do make yourself a happier person, what changes you need to make to live your best life. Recently, I’ve been trying to better myself in a physical and mental sense by focusing on my health and fitness. I’ve never been one to willingly participate in physical activity often, exercise was not something I enjoyed. Sure, I have tried the health kick multiple times but it was never something that stuck. I have always admired people who eat well and
exercise daily, but have never been able to commit to that lifestyle myself. It’s a mental issue more than a physical thing, I lacked commitment and motivation. I wanted to be fit but my heart was not in it and I was not motivated by the right reasons. Until recently, I had never looked at exercise and working out as something that is beneficial for the mind as well as the body. People have always told me to exercise during study breaks because it’s meant to be good for you because it releases positive endorphins, but I never took that to heart. I wanted to be toned and have the “look” of a fit person but did not care for putting the effort in or realise that I did not want to better myself, I merely wanted to fit a body type that is pushed in the media. Everyone has body insecurities and that can be a key motivator for many people when it comes to exercise. Personally, I think that it is incredibly important to make sure that when exercising, you are working on yourself for yourself and not focusing on the often unrealistic and photoshopped
images that circulate our social medias. There are so many pressures placed on young people today to look and act a certain way and these can have a detrimental affect on their mental health. How can someone be expected to love their body and its unique bumps and curves if there are only images of one body type pushed online? Exercise and working on your health and fitness can be such a beneficial thing when dealing with issues of self-love. It’s not necessarily about hating your current self but more about knowing that you can be a better version of yourself, a healthier, fitter and happier you. Embarking on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance allows you to push yourself to new limits and constantly persevere. The hardest part is always the beginning, at least it was for me. It’s making the change from watching a fitness routine on YouTube, to actually going to the gym or going for a run. A shift from wanting a healthier diet and lifestyle, to actually eating healthier meals. If you’re someone who gets anxious about the idea of joining a gym or is just unsure about where to start, a great piece of advice is to start with a friend. Find a buddy who will go to the class you want to try, join the gym with you or be your jogging partner, because everything is easier when you’re not alone. Don’t expect to see change overnight. Working on your health and fitness isn’t a situation
where you’ll work out for a week and expect to have abs and a thigh gap. Each body is different, you’ll react to things in different ways and shouldn’t push yourself to achieve an unrealistic body type. It’s not best to look for immediate results, I recommend setting longterm goals that focus on bettering your strength and fitness levels and good health, rather than seeking quick physical changes.
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” - Mark Twain By making a change in your lifestyle by working on your health and fitness, you will find that you will also become a more positive and better person mentally. Exercise is about more than losing weight and getting fit, it helps your brain by improving your memory skills, helps prevent depression, reduces stress and anxiety, and can improve your mood and sleep. From one previously very lazy person to the individual with an unknown lifestyle reading this, making the change to work on myself and try to get fit was a hard one to commit to but a good change, and that’s what springs all about isn’t it?
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It's only taken us a few months to put together this issue, which is rather surprising considering we usually take a hell of a lot longer....
Published on Jan 20, 2018
It's only taken us a few months to put together this issue, which is rather surprising considering we usually take a hell of a lot longer....