e a JHcraC tftls spring. by Erin Donohue
We often think about spring as a new beginning; as soon as the crocuses start to poke through the frozen ground is usually when I start my daily walks. There is no better way to emerge from a winter's hibernation than in a pair of well-worn sweats and new walking shoes. On one of my daily rounds, I was thinking about spring beginning and how wonderful I usually feel this time of year. This year, though, I am feeling a little melancholy. Most of my feelings come from all the bad news I have been hearing lately. As I write this piece in particular I am focused on the terrible news I heard today about a woman I know who is waging a particulary tough battle with breast cancer. She is a person who will not be named in print, but I hope if she reads this that she knows I (and a whole lot of other people in the community) are thinking of her and her family. She is a fighter whose battle with the disease was initially won, but as they
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say, the war was not over. She is a mom who at times was a voice of reason when it came to dispensing advice. And afterward she'd be the type of person who would follow-up on your progress and always ask how things were going. It is not often that you have people come into your life who you don't expect to be friends with, but it just ends up that way. So here it is the first week or so of spring and I am saddened by this. I can't help but wonder about all the other families in town that have their crosses to bear. Being in the community newspaper business, I can't help but feel connected to the stories we print, and though I don't personally know the people involved, I feel like I do. Recently we printed stories about a brave mom fighting ovarian cancer and about a little boy touched by a devastating disease - it sometimes seems that we only print terrible news. I hope though that our newpapers have served as a useful tool for these families and groups to reach out to one another for comfort and support.
Heidi E. Warm Our last piece visited Real Boys. Dr. Pollack's thrust that society causes boys to repress their emotions is contrasted by Rachel Simmons' position. Her book, Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls (©2002) addresses the high/price of popularity, exacted by girls. She does this through interviews with sincerity, and in some cases a pain that transcends many years; as several of her subjects hark back to the miseries of their childhood. It's interesting to me as a counselor, working with school-aged children that we tend to "stompout" boys' emotion while fostering its (dare I say) over-accessibility in girls. Simmons cites CNN's executive Vice President, Gail Evans. In El Like A Man. Win Like A Woman. Evans speaks to women's struggle for equality in the corporate world. She has observed women hit the glass ceiling, for decades, and concludes a "misguided focus on personal relationships," (p. 265), as partially to blame. I' ve been saying this, as I' m sure others have, for years! I, however, rarely succeed in persuading my adolescent girl students that the "relationship thing" can jeopardize their ultimate success. This failure comes from the tunnel vision often suffered by girls around relationships and the popularity hierarchy. What really frustrates... no not frustrates, but rather disappoints me, as a woman, is when I see adult women engaging in this very behavior. Let's grow up! Allow me to make two points... for the record...
We may not know each other, but as a part of the same community we have so much in common. We may have children the same age, go to the same school, attend the same church or shop in the same market. From our readers and writers to those neighbors who walk in our doors to tell us about the latest that is going on in our town, we are all connected without realizing it. In that sense we are all friends. So this spring, instead of just celebrating new life and new growth, how about adding
in celebrating friendship as well? Recognize the people whom you are close with, reach out to those you haven't spoken to in a while and keep a good thought about those who may be experienceing some terrible times and let them know you are thinking about them. Send a card, bring a cake to a new neighbor, cook a meal for the family who just welcomed a new addition... you'll definatly make someone happy and, who knows, you may make a friend when you didn't expect to.
your listening and dancing pleasure (coffee and cake will be provided). Thursday, April 20, noon - Elder Care attorney Frank Tortora will discuss new Mediaid law, Medicare, will trust, power of attorney (lunch provided). Thursday, April 27, 12:30 p.m. Movie, "Walk the Line" in the Senior Lounge. Coffee and Cake will be provided.
The Freeport Republican Club will meet at the Freeport Recreation Center Wednesday, April 19, at 8 p.m. Guest speaker will be a representative from Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD).
Rec Senior Center April events Wednesday, April 12, 10a.m.- Terry Pearce on the keyboard in our lobby for
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1) On the job, it's not enough to simply do the job," but rather make it evident that successful execution of the task must supersede any peripheral, relationship success (especially for a woman). To illustrate: (again, my situation is in a school, so that's the example I'll use) consider two employees. One has a child in the other's class. These two cannot possibly have a purely professional relationship... since, chances are, worker "A" would be afraid to merely disagree with worker "B," (valid or not) because she watches her daughter... and we all know the high price of child care. 2) Evans points out that "Women struggle when hearing the word 'No,' from colleagues and superiors, construing it as a sign of interpersonal conflict As a result, they will avoid asking questions they anticipate will end in 'No'" (Ibid). So ladies. Indulge me,... Let us keep our friendships with our friends outside of the workplace and our work acquaintances collegia), for if we blur the line, we cannot help but compromise our work ethic and by extension, our chances of crossing the glass ceiling
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