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In 1 8 9 10 11 12 13 THis Issue 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 2 3

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june 2013 Volume 1 Issue 7

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1 Cover

3 In this issue

4 letters from the publisher and editor 6 in the news: national

22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29

8 pride celebrations around the world 10 out on LI: the fight against hiv/stis 12 out on LI: third glbt center coming to the east end 14 interview with tegan and sara

30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

15 tv’s leading ladies 16 book reviews 17 movie teasers 19 calendar of events

38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45

20 Be Scene: Photos from ligaly’s anniversary gala 23 li pride guide begins 24 history and theme 25 pride: photos over the years 26 grand marshals

46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60

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follow our lead Become a fan on Facebook at facebook.com/livingoutli or follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/livingoutli

stay in the know Keep connected at livingoutli.org

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David Kilmnick, Publisher info@livingoutli.org Meryl Lumba, editor editor@livingoutli.org Jeff Main, Art Director art@livingoutli.org Andrew Schleider, Advertising advertising@livingoutli.org Contributors Joey Amato, Matthew Ambrosio, Bill Blazey, Christopher Boire, Rev. Irene Monroe, Charlene Obernauer, Kirsten Rizzo, Rachel Roth, Laurie Segal, Gregg Shapiro, Gwen Smith, Andy Stern, Robert Vitelli

28 entertainment 31 where to go: parade route & pridefest map 32 glbt superheroes 34 recipes for pride: cupcakes & cocktails

36 what to bring to pridefest 38 pride fashion tips 40 rupaul’s fiercest drag queens 42 15 glbt people to know & celebrate 45 super allies 45 li pride: special thanks 46 out front: melissa etheridge 50 living healthy: teenagers today 51 living healthy: know about HIV/STIs 52 out destination: fort lauderdale 53 living smart: glbt visibility in video games 54 living smart: preparing to buy a home 55 tasty true blood cocktail inspiration 56 point of view: jason collins comes out 57 trans-missions: in unity 58 out spoken: thoughts on the boy scouts of america

Living Out is produced by The Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Services Network with support from Morey Publishing, LLC. PrivateLabelNY.com

get published! Want to join our team as a monthly contributor? We’re looking for talented writers and photographers to get involved in Long Island’s newest GLBT publication!

apply to be a contributor Email editor@livingoutli.org! LIVING OUT

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From the Publisher

From the Editor

It is my pleasure to welcome you to the June issue of Living Out and your 2013 Pride Guide! Saturday, June 8th will bring with it a new day, a new parade route, a new beginning for our movement! This June is particularly special as the time at hand is an exciting and pivotal one for our community. Two Supreme Court cases are currently challenging the discrimination that still exists today. One of the cases challenges the Defense of Marriage Act (DoMA), which involves Long Island’s own Edie Windsor. We hope the courts will rule in favor of justice in the coming weeks, and bring our community one step closer to equality. We have also heard our Vice President Joe Biden announce that transgender rights are the civil rights issue of our time, and have seen professional athletes find the courage to come out or show support. All these milestones and more show that this not only a great time to celebrate, but also to reflect on how much work there is left to do. This is the second year that The Long Island GLBT Services Network is organizing the annual Pride Parade and PrideFest. Just as The Network knows it has a great responsibility to provide critical services and programs for tens of thousands of GLBT and allied Long Islanders each year, we knew we had an equally important responsibility on June 8th: ensuring that Pride was a day in which our whole community could come together to celebrate victories and connect with each other. I am confident that we have met that responsibility this year, and most importantly, that once the festivities come to an end, each one of you will head home with unforgettable memories and a renewed feeling of solidarity, hope, and pride. Please join us on Saturday, June 8th in Huntington for a Pride like Long Island has never seen before. Enjoy incredible all-day performances by local and national entertainers, great food and drinks, and a fun-filled day of activities for everyone. Bring your family and friends! On behalf of the many staff and volunteers who have made this great day possible, thank you for joining us. We look forward to many more years of Pride to come.

Every June, I find myself wondering about what Pride truly means to me. As a New Yorker, this June has been a particularly thoughtful one as anti-GLBT hate crimes have reached higher numbers than before in addition to many unreported cases. At the same time, 12 states in America and 14 countries around the world have taken a stand in promoting marriage equality through legislation. Equality has been a journey for our community, and while it is becoming a reality, I daresay we still have much more work to do in our local and national community. And there are public figures coming out every day in supporting that important and ongoing work through pride in their identities. Musicians Tegan and Sara (pg 14) and pro basketball player Jason Collins (pg 56) are helping pave the way for GLBT youth in oppressive communities to be themselves. As singer-songwriter Melissa Etheridge (pg 46) tells us in an exclusive interview, the front-runners of the movement help us all to live honestly and “Speak True” of our identities. But I suppose I am still left with the question of what Pride means to me—what a wonderful idea that no single person’s definition matches another’s. And maybe that is what Pride is: celebrating the diversity woven in and out of the GLBT community, recognizing and appreciating our intersections and our differences, and embracing that we each hold a unique identity. That is something we can truly be proud of.

D AV I D K I L M N I C K , P H D , M S W

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MERYL LUMBA, EDITOR

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In the news national News

By Rachel Roth

Magazine issues samesex Mother’s Day greeting This year, The New Yorker celebrated Mother’s Day by honoring lesbian parents. The cover of the May 13 issue featured an illustration of two women opening a card as their children looked on. Artist Chris Ware wrote that the picture was done in “the spirit of openheartedness.” “Few people today don’t know—or have in their families—at least one loving couple who are raising children, same-sex or not. It’s really just the loving part that matters.”

Basketball player makes sports history For the first time, an active, male, pro-athlete has come out. Jason Collins declared in the May issue of Sports Illustrated, “I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay.” Collins, a free agent, said that while he did not intend to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport, he is “happy to start the conversation.” “I wish I wasn’t the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, ‘I’m different,’ he stated, “If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I’m raising my hand.” His announcement was met with an abundance of public support from fellow professional athletes, politicians, and friends. New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn said the importance of Collins’ declaration should not be understated.

California Assembly passes 2 trans rights bills

“What Jason did isn’t just going to help other athletes, it’s literally going to save lives,” she said.

The California Assembly passed two bills that add significant protections for transgender Californians.

Even though Collins kept his sexuality a secret until recently, he told Sports Illustrated that he subtly showed solidarity with the GLBT community by wearing the number 98 in honor of Matthew Shepard, a gay college student who was brutally murdered in 1998.

One bill—AB 1266—requires that school districts comply with current laws prohibiting discrimination against

transgender students. Students will now be allowed to choose the bathroom and sports team that correlates with their gender identity. The second bill—AB 1121— will make it easier for trans folks to change their names

and gender on their birth certificates. According to the Sacramento Bee, the bills passed largely along party lines and will now head to the Senate for a final vote.

for more on jason collins, turn to pg 56.

and now there are 12.. In the course of two weeks, three more states have legalized same-sex marriages. Legislators in Delaware, Rhode Island, and Minnesota have voted in favor of marriage equality. In all three cases, the bills received bi-partisan support, highlighting the change in public opinion regarding same-sex marriage. At present, 12 states and the District of Columbia grant lesbian and gay couples the right to marry, and Illinois is poised to become lucky number 13. The Chicago Tribune reported that Governor Pat Quinn called on the Illinois House to send him legislation to legalize gay marriage, saying lawmakers had plenty of time to make up their mind on the issue. The state Illinois passed the measure on Valentine’s Day, and the governor has said he’s ready to sign it.

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national News

In the news

By Rachel Roth

trans veteran official recognized For the first time, the Pentagon has officially recognized the presence of transgender servicemen and women. In a short letter dated May 2, a Navy official told Autumn Sandeen, a veteran and transgender activist: “Per your request the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) has been updated to show your gender

as female effective April 12, 2013.” Sandeen’s military identification card now reflects the change, a move called “quite significant” by the head of OutServe-SLDN, a national organization for GLBT service members, veterans and their families.

Paul Ryan supports adoption by gays Former Republican Vice Presidential hopeful Paul Ryan has changed his position on allowing gays and lesbians the right to adopt children. At a town hall meeting in his home state of Wisconsin, Ryan reportedly said that while he voted against allowing adoptions by same-sex couples in the District of Columbia, he’d be a “yea” on that issue if it came up today. Even though he is now in favor of adoption rights for gay and lesbian couples, Ryan made it very clear that his stance on marriage equality has not wavered.

I do believe that if there are children who are orphans who do not have a loving person or couple—I think if a person wants to love and raise a child, they ought to be able to do that. Period.

see more national gay news and read international headlines by visiting livingoutli.org >> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

State AG says Texas municipalities can’t offer partner benefits Republican Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott issued an opinion saying that domestic partner (DP) benefits offered by local government entities in Texas violate the state’s constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.

According to the Dallas Voice, Abbott’s opinion is non-binding, but was written as a response to a request last year from Senator Dan Patrick (R-Houston).

Patrick sought out the council of Abbott when Pflugerville Independent School District agreed to offer (DP) benefits to employees last October, becoming the first district in the state to do so. Pflugerville’s decision also prompted a Republican state lawmaker to introduce a bill that would cut funding for school districts that offer DP benefits. The bill— HB 1568 by Drew Springer of Muenster— is awaiting a vote in the House.

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out on li

A Look At

Pride Festivals Around The World by Charlene Obernauer

In the United States, GLBT rights activists have put on gay Pride parades since 1970, when the day of protest was called “gay liberation” day. The first parade was planned for the last Sunday of June: the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall riots, which was the beginning of the gay rights movement. GLBT liberation came about because of a culture of discrimination: President Eisenhower issued an Executive Order in 1953 legalizing the firing of GLBT people. Openly GLBT couples were not even allowed to publicly gather, which further criminalized the community. In 2013, much has changed. GLBT relationships are completely legal, gays can serve openly in the military, the President became the first in history to support gay marriage, and the Defense of Marriage Act seems likely to be overturned by the US Supreme Court. But America has come this far for a reason: the United States is home to one of the most dynamic and successful GLBT rights movements in the entire world. In countries where going to a Pride parade can get one fired or even arrested, activists are brave to just show their faces. Pride parades are illegal in most of Russia, including the urban cities of St. Petersburg and Moscow. Kissing on the street could result in the equivalent of a $16,000 fine or two years imprisonment, but activists are committed to GLBT equality. In 2012, anti-gay protestors attacked Pride activists in St. Petersburg, and not a single attacker was arrested. This year, despite increasing criticisms from the international community, many city governments in Russia are keeping the ban on gay pride alive. Activists continue to protest, and are regularly attacked and arrested. Homosexuality just became legal in India in the summer of 2009, but the first gay Pride parade took place a year earlier in four Indian cities as a form of protest against discriminatory laws. Participants wore masks to cover their faces, afraid of their identities being revealed. Since then, India’s parades have steadily grown. Mumbai, the city’s capital, now holds an annual Pride parade and activists proudly show their true colors. Chinese activists tried to organize Pride in 2005 in Beijing, but police tracked their activities. Venues that agreed to host the event were shut down and Pride was canceled. But activists were resilient 8

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here “In countries wpa rade going to a pridered or can get one fi ctivists even arrested, ast show are brave to ju s.” their face this year, Stockholm Pride organizers have launched an advocacy campaign inviting Russians to celebrate Pride in the Swedish capital, thus bypassing russia’s 100-year ban on pride events.

and after a few years of trying, they successfully held their first Pride parade in Shanghai in 2009, attended by 2,000 people. The parade has been labeled a weeklong cultural event by the Chinese government and cannot be officially labeled “gay Pride.” However, the event still attracts thousands of people and is well filled with film screenings, family pool parties, and big opening and closing parties. The biggest Pride parade in Asia is in Taiwan, which had its 10th anniversary last year, attended by more than 65,000 people. The parade called for the passage of gay marriage, with rainbowcolored diamond engagement rings plastered on the posters. The country is expected to be the first Asian country to legalize gay marriage. Many countries in Latin America a few steps ahead of the United States, with gay marriage already legal and GLBT rights progressing at a rapid pace. With a strong history of GLBT activism, Mexico has more than a million people at their annual pride parade in Mexico City, which has been taking place for more than 30 years. Like the United States, gay

Pride does not just take place in the biggest cities, but small towns all over the country hold their own Pride events in June. Argentina also has a strong history of GLBT activism. Instead of a Pride parade, they have a Pride march in Buenos Aires, with political speeches as an essential component of the day’s activities. Their protesting has been fruitful: the country was one of the first to pass gay marriage and continues to win rights for GLBT people. Canada is home to some of the earliest signs of GLBT activism in the Americas, with its first Pride parade occurring in Toronto in 1972. Pride week became celebrated nationally the following year. Canada is home to some of the biggest and most culturally diverse Pride celebrations in the world. Toronto will be home to the fourth World Pride celebration in 2014, which will include an international human rights conference. The first official gay Pride rally in the U.K. was held in London in June 1972, also to commemorate the Stonewall Riots. More than 100 men attended the

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Bethpage offers more convenient ways to bank. “The biggest pride parade in the wor even bigger than ld— York City and SaNnew Francisco—is in Sa Paulo, Brazil, and o at tended by more is an 4 million peopleth .”

parade, and in years to follow, it attracted people of all genders and grew exponentially. London Pride now attracts over one million people, and is one of many enormous Pride parades in Europe. The biggest Pride parade in the world—even bigger than New York City and San Francisco—is in Sao Paulo, Brazil, and is attended by more than four million people. The event is heavily supported by the city government, which invests $500,000 into the parade. In turn, the event brings $90 to $95 million into the city and attracts 400,000 tourists. This year, activists really have something to celebrate, with gay marriage becoming legalized recently this May. Gay Pride parades, or gay liberation protests, as they were first called, have been critical to bringing about GLBT rights on an international scale. As long as holding a rainbow flag is illegal in different countries all over the world, as long as gender identity can get a person fired or fined, and as long as GLBT people are marginalized, Pride parades will be a critical component to achieving full equality.

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ELI REYES, DIRECTOR OF HIV PREVENTION SERVICES FOR THE LONG ISLAND GLBT SERVICES NETWORK, PREPARES A SYPHILIS TEST FOR A CLIENT.

is facilitated by a professional social worker and provides the unique opportunity for all GLBT people living with HIV/AIDS to gather, instead of just one segment of the community. “HIV Prevention work with youth on Long Island has, for me, shed light on one of the most pervasive barriers to sexual health: communication,” says Lambert Liu, Health Counselor with Long Island GLBT Services Network. “By and large, youth are most grateful for the chance to speak openly, have their questions answered honestly, and be met with judgment-free and sex-positive views about sex.”

ligaly and the center Soldier on: The Fight Against HIV/AIDS by kirsten rizzo and robert vitelli

Long Island continues to be the suburban area with the greatest number of new cases of HIV in America each year—a fact that is not new. While many in the GLBT community might have an understanding that HIV is no longer a “gay man’s disease,” the facts also make it clear that there is a re-emergence of HIV among gay and bisexual men. According to the New York Department of Health, while gay and bisexual men represent just five percent of the Long Island population, this small community comprises more than half (52 percent) of all new HIV infections on Long Island. The numbers signify a major health disparity that is being met with a firm response. Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) and

weekend retreats

The Network offers regular weekend retreats for gay men of color exploring factors (culture, society, religion) that may influence sexual behavior.

The Long Island GLBT Community Center (The Center) are leaders on Long Island working to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS, particularly among gay and bisexual men who are disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS. With this re-emergence of the epidemic, the organizations have ramped-up efforts to help the GLBT community. LIGALY and The Center’s HIV/STI Outreach and Testing Program conducts community outreach and education services so that GLBT people know how to stop the spread of HIV. LIGALY and The Center’s HIV/STI Program also provides free and confidential rapid HIV testing, helping people know their status and get connected to specialized HIV medical care. Just last year, LIGALY and The Center doubled their outreach and testing staff with a profound community

Counseling

Because we all need to talk to someone sometimes. It is not easy finding a place that understands you, but The Network offers such a place!

impact—301 HIV tests were conducted in 2012, which is more than twice the number of tests conducted in 2011. LIGALY and The Center have also taken on the responsibility and leadership to offer free STI screenings as well. The risk of contracting HIV increases two to 23 times when someone has an STI. Screenings for gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis are offered in conjunction with HIV tests at their community centers so that someone can access all services at once. Beyond prevention efforts, LIGALY and The Center also provide support. “Living PositHIVly” is a new group exclusively for GLBT people living with HIV/AIDS—the only group of its kind on Long Island. Aiming to provide peer support, this group

Free Condoms

The Network offers condoms, dental dams, and other forms of sexual protection as well as information on how to use them.

Sadly, young gay and bisexual men of color are at the highest risk for contracting HIV. LIGALY and The Center has developed special outreach programs to engage this hard-to-reach group. Part of its efforts include special education programs borrowed from the CDC—“evidence based interventions” or EBIs that are proven to help participants decrease their risks. The Network coordinates these special programs for young gay and bisexual men of color to provide education while also building a sense of community. “Educators do a great disservice by assuming that youth may not ‘be ready’ to hear certain things about sex and sexuality. An adage about parenting that I’ve come across is highly relevant here—if a child is old enough to think to ask a question, they’re old enough to get the honest answer to it,” says Liu. Knowledge is power. GLBT youth can be directly involved in the important task of educating their peers through LIGALY’s SNAP program, which is a four-week interactive, fun, educational, and team building program that teaches the tools needed to deliver HIV risk reduction messages.

Workshops & Training

If you are involved at your school, church, or community center, you should ask about making a workshop or training happen at yours.

Medicine

If you cannot afford it, please ask The Network about their recycle system. And if you have extra, you can donate unused HIV/ AIDS medications to help others.

learn more about LIGALY’s HIV Prevention Program: 631.665.2300, 516.323.0011, or ligaly.org

Awards Recognize Work of GLBT Community on LI Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) and its founder and CEO, David Kilmnick, were recognized with two separate awards last month, commending their efforts to promote equality for the GLBT community. The first award, given by the Suffolk County Human Rights Commission during the 2013 Awards Dinner and 50th Anniversary Celebration 10

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on May 16, recognized Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth for its 20 years of service, education, and advocacy. LIGALY was given the “Community-Based Organization Award,” accepted by Kilmnick. The Commission wrote that it chose LIGALY for being “among the first organizations to actively push for Marriage Equality in New York State... for working to get the Dignity for All Students

Act passed... for working to make Suffolk County schools safer... and for taking a stand against homophobia...” On May 9, Long Island Business News honored Kilmnick with the 2013 Outstanding CEO Award. Kilmnick was among a select

group of recipients to receive this prestigious award. Long Island Business News noted that it must have been particularly difficult for Kilmnick to launch a business when met with resistance from others, highlighting that Kilmnick did not let opposition stand in his fight for GLBT equality.

DAVID KILMNICK ACCEPTS THE COMMUNITY-BASED ORGANIZATION AWARD FROM THE SUFFOLK COUNTY HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION.

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CHILD CARE LEARNING CENTER

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AFTER SHARING A TRAGIC STORY ABOUT A 16-YEAR-OLD EAST HAMPTON GAY YOUTH WHO COMMITTED SUICIDE IN OCTOBER 2012, KILMNICK ANNOUNCED THE OPENING OF THE ORGANIZATION’S THIRD CENTER, THE GLBT CENTER OF THE HAMPTONS, THIS SUMMER.

LIGALY ANNOUNCES EAST END GLBT CENTER at SOLD OUT GALA! More than 400 business, political, civic, and community leaders attended the Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) 20th Anniversary Gala on Friday, May 10th. A record $250,000 was raised to continue LIGALY’s critical programs. Honorees Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi, US Supreme Court Petitioner Edie Windsor, and former LIGALY Board President and NARAL Pro-Choice NY COO Andrew Stern all praised the leadership and work of LIGALY while sharing personal accounts of their journeys and fight for full equality.

LIGALY’s CEO David Kilmnick delivered an impassioned speech that reflected on LIGALY’s beginnings when few believed the organization could survive and prosper in conservative suburban Long Island, to current times where LIGALY is working with more than 110 school districts and has served more than 100,000 young GLBT and allied people. Kilmnick reminded everyone that while the GLBT community celebrates their legislative victories today, they cannot forget the past and the fight that is ahead

of us: Still today, there are disproportionally higher rates of bullying and suicide as well as a reemerging health crisis with more than half of new HIV cases on Long Island being young gay and bisexual men. Kilmnick then announced that LIGALY plans to open its third center in Sag Harbor, The GLBT Center of the Hamptons, to serve East End youth, families, and seniors. Kilmnick said, “It will ensure that no matter where you live on Long Island, whether it is in Mineola or Montauk, there is a GLBT Center that is accessible to everyone.”

long island’s three glbt centers... The Center at Garden City

400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City, NY 11530 Open Monday through Thursday, 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., and Fridays 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

The Center at Bay Shore

34 Park Avenue, Bay Shore, NY 11706 Open Monday through Thursday, 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., and Fridays 9 a.m. to midnight.

The GLBT Center of the Hamptons

Old Whaler’s Church, Sag Harbor The GLBT Center of the Hamptons located at Old Whaler’s Church in downtown Sag Harbor is slated to open July 2013, offering a GLBT community space for the first time on the East End of Long Island. More information to follow.

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out and about music

By gregg shapiro

More than a dozen years after the release of your major label debut, what would you say are the most significant elements in the evolution of Tegan and Sara as individuals and as a duo? It’s a tough thing because we’ve changed so dramatically as people. What’s sort of remarkable about that transformation and change is that it hasn’t meant the end of the band. Even though we’ve changed as people and our sound has changed and our look has changed and our approach to the industry, our goals and expectations, all those things have really changed quite dramatically from the time we started until today. I’m just grateful that all of that hasn’t meant that the band had to be finished. In a way, I’m also glad that the band didn’t get caught in a state of arrested development. I’m glad that we were able to grow outside and inside of the project and that it’s still something people are interested in and growing.

Because collaboration is such an integral part of being in a duo, do you and Tegan have to do anything special when you bring in another party, such as producer Greg Kurstin? In a way, we weren’t great at collaborating when we were younger. We did a lot of our songwriting independent of one another. The project was built on some of the friction and complexities that come from two people who are very strong-willed and have their own identities and their own ideas about how music should sound or how the band should be. It’s through collaborating 14

Tegan and Sara, the duo consisting of openly gay, Canadian twin sisters Tegan Quin and Sara Quin, and their band, have been evolving from singer/songwriter acoustics to fuller arrangements, drawing on a variety of influences, particularly those of an electronic nature. Their latest disc, Heartthrob (WB/Vapor), is the culmination of those efforts. We spoke with Sara shortly after the release of the new album.

LIVING OUT

with other people, different producers or songwriters, side projects, that sort of thing, even within the touring band, it’s through that practice, that experience that’s made Tegan and me more effective at collaborating.

One of the things that Greg Kurstin does is enhance your trademark sound with synthesizers and glossier production. Do you think it was inevitable that Tegan and Sara would make a record such as this one, which incorporate electronic beats and those kinds of influences? I think so. I definitely don’t think we were heading towards a metal record [laughs]. I don’t mean that in a put-down kind of way. If we were heading towards a metal record, that would be great too. But I think the spectrum of influence that we’ve been pulling from in our career—not that it’s changed, it’s just the emphasis on certain elements has changed. We weren’t discriminating against anything, but we obviously naturally gravitated towards a stripped-down singer/ songwriter type of thing for the first couple of records. Each record has been pulling out and emphasizing parts of our influences the music that we make. Synthesizers, keyboards, programming, electronic elements—we sort of flirted with them on all of our records to varying degrees.

The music video for “Closer” features you and Tegan acting out singing karaoke to the song. Have you had the experience where you encountered someone performing a karaoke

version of a Tegan and Sara song? [Laughs] Sometimes I feel like that could be the description of what I’m doing with some of my own music [laughs]. I’ve never been in a bar and seen anyone karaoke one of our songs. We always check out fan videos and people doing versions of our music. I think it’s incredibly flattering. I love karaoke, I love singing other people’s music. I think it’s a really wonderful tradition of infusing your style and your ideas on somebody else’s music. The day that we go to a karaoke bar and they have a Tegan and Sara song on the playlist, I’ll be thrilled, really excited.

have seen our band develop over some really important years in our society where being gay and being in a band doesn’t necessarily mean you are a gay band. It also doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re only going to have a gay audience. Those kinds of limitations and reductions angered and frustrated me, made me furious, because I wanted to be gay and be a band that could be liked by everybody. This was one of our first opportunities to make something that was reflective of the song and the energy and the spirit and to be inclusive of same sex couples.

The “Closer” video features a variety of couples, including a few same-sex pairs. How important is it for you to be inclusive in that format?

I think the most heartwrenching song on the disc is “Now I’m All Messed Up,” which contains the emotionally weighted line “Now I’m all messed up sick inside wondering where/Where you’re leaving your make-up.”

This is the first time that we purposely included a narrative involving other people and characters, and once it became clear that there was going to be couples involved, it was the most important thing for us, that there was going to be same-sex couples represented. I think we walk a fine line in our band where we are completely proud and comfortable and open about our sexuality. But we’re also very cognizant about the fact that we still live in a world where if things are not portrayed properly or in a respectful way, they can suddenly take a crazy left turn. I would never want people to think that we’re exploiting anyone, straight or gay. I want to honor what I think is a really diverse fan base. Tegan and I

It’s interesting, that was the first line that I wrote for the song. It was something I had scribbled down. It is a really intense and emotional song, and it started from one lyric. I wasn’t going through a breakup or a trauma of anything like that. I had started to date someone really significant in my life, it was starting to get serious. I was starting to write music for this record. I was thinking about the breakups that I had in the past and how traumatized I was by them. When you start to fall in love with someone, even when you’re happy, that can be the scariest time for introspection and writing. At least, that’s my experience. When you’re deep in the sh-t, and you’re sad and you think there’s nothing worse that can happen, there’s

nothing to lose. All you’re doing is reflecting. For me, being very happy and feeling like I was in a good place and I was falling in love with someone, I was utterly paralyzed by the idea that I could go through a breakup or someone cheating on me or leaving me. My girlfriend wears makeup, and I would wake up and there would be mascara on my pillowcases. I thought this would be the worst thing in the world, the idea that she would be with someone else, leaving her makeup in their bedroom.

Jack Antonoff, who co-wrote the song “How Come You Don’t Want Me?” with you and Tegan, had a good night at the Grammy Awards (in February 2013) with his band Fun., as did your fall 2012 tour-mates The Black Keys. What would it mean for you and Tegan to get some love from Grammy voters? I think getting nominated for a Grammy is a remarkable thing. Recognition from your peers and your industry feels good when you’ve worked really hard. It feels like a significant thing. I’ve never really subscribed to the idea that anyone can judge somebody’s art against somebody else’s. I struggle with the idea that one thing should be a winner over another. But I also think that there’s a part of me artistically and as an ambitious person who feels that recognition on that level would be, it would be totally a lie to say that it wouldn’t be significant [laughs] and be something very important to me. Tegan and Sara perform July 22 and 23 in NYC at Hudson River Park - Pier 26.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG


television

out and about

By meryl Lumba

Like summer, television programming continues to heat up. While some fans may feel the chill of having to wait for The Walking Dead or American Horror Story to return, there are tons of thoughtprovoking series on television now to help fill that void. Women’s roles in television have exceeded expectations, portraying characters that are memorable and essential to the plot while also becoming positive role models, not just background noise. Here are some leading ladies Living Out is proud of this summer.

Brienne // Game of Thrones This leading lady has torn down gender stereotypes of all kinds, with sword in hand. Once knighted, Brienne had taken vows of honor and duty, roles typically set aside for men in the novel. In the incredibly gender policing world of Game of Thrones, characters such as Brienne give power to women both on and off screen.

mackenzie // the newsroom Not afraid of consequences, MacKenzie’s unconventional take and assessment of the news challenges current journalism, re-establishing a form of media that is not ultimately pandering to its constituents’ political stance. MacKenzie’s attempts to return news to a pre-corporate driven world is admirable.

gloria // modern family Modern Family’s Gloria always stands up to her stubborn, and old-school husband, Jay. Gloria encourages Jay to support his gay son, Mitch, and teaches Jay to not be afraid of being an emotional backbone for his children. Gloria’s strength shows that hard work can help transform relationships.

tara // true blood Recently turned Tara of True Blood is fiercer than ever, and combined with “maker” and potential love interest, Pam, Tara will have even more courage to defeat her inner demons. Having surpassed abusive relationships and traumatic events, Tara’s growth marks her not only as a fighter, but also the biggest survivor of the series.

tina // glee Glee’s Tina can sing, and Gleeks are sad to see her constantly outshined by dwindling plot-lines and over-dramatic cast members. However, Tina has jumped major hurdles in the difficult confines of her high-school hallways. In turn, Tina does not care what people think about her and continues to break out of her “shy” shell.

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out and about

reading rainbow

by gregg shapiro

poetry in motion

Gay poet Richard Blanco’s star continues to rise after he read his poem “One Today” at President Obama’s second inauguration in January 2013 (below). His 2012 poetry collection, Looking for The Gulf Motel (Pittsburgh, 2012), containing the poem “Queer Theory: According to My Grandmother,” is the winner of The Publishing Triangle’s Thom Gunn Award for Gay Poetry.

fictional accounts

Multi-award winning lesbian poet Maureen Seaton’s eighth solo poetry collection Fibonacci Batman: New and Selected Poems (Carnegie Mellon, 2013) draws on six of her full-length books. Comprised of more than 60 poems, the book gives readers a firsthand look at the ongoing evolution of Seaton’s written work.

Straight ally, and a frequent collaborator of Seaton’s, Denise Duhamel returns with her 10th full-length book of poetry in Blowout (University of Pittsburgh, 2013). Anyone who has been through a difficult divorce or break-up will appreciate Duhamel’s insightful handling of the subject matter, put forth in her distinctive style.

Published last year, A Horse Named Sorrow (Terrace Books, 2012), by award-winning gay novelist Trebor Healey is a finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, to be presented in June 2013, and is the recipient of The Ferro-Grumley Award from The Publishing Triangle.

Ali Liebegott’s latest novel Cha-Ching! (City Lights/Sister Spit, 2013) is set in the ‘90s, following “down-on-herluck queer girl” Theo’s relocation from San Francisco to Brooklyn, where her new circle of friends includes her roommate, her girlfriend, and a Pit Bull.

Can’t get enough queer historical fiction? Monica Nolan, author of Lois Lenz, Secretary, Bobby Blanchard, and Lesbian Gym Teacher is back for more pulpy and steamy Sapphic fun with Maxie Mainwaring, Lesbian Dilettante (Kensington, 2013), set in the fictional Bay City in the carefree mid 60s.

Musician-turnednovelist Steven Jordan Brooks takes us back in time, to the ‘70s, with Hollywood The Band (Authorhouse, 2013). Subtitled “A Tale of Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll,” the book touches on the sexual revolution, gay and women’s issues, as well as civil rights matters.

queer voices

Consisting of interviews with queer youth, as well as essays by the author, In A Queer Voice: Journeys of Resilience from Adolescence to Adulthood (Temple University Press, 2013) by Michael Sadowski chronicles an unheard community and provides them with a forum in which to speak their minds.

Australian feminist/queer theorist Annamarie Jagose gets up close and personal with the illustrious and elusive orgasm in Orgasmology (Duke University Press, 2013). Jagose elevates the material beyond sex and sexual orientation, venturing into “agency, ethics, intimacy, modernity” and more.

SEE MORE BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS online at livingoutli.org

VINCENT DIDANIELE Licensed Real Estate Salesperson 631.252.7227 vdidaniele@elliman.com On Target With Your Real Estate Goals ©2013 Douglas Elliman Real Estate. Equal Housing Opportunity.

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Equal Housing Opportunity.


the big screen

By Kirsten Rizzo

out and about

From Pages To Celluloid:

Book-Based Films To Keep An Eye On World War Z – June 21 Zombies are back! Author Max Brooks wrote this widely popular book about a pandemic that spreads quickly across the country and later the world, threatening the stability of all governments and humanity itself, and now director Marc Forster (director of Quantum of Solace) is at the helm to bring the story to the big screen. Brad Pitt stars as a United Nations employee thrust into the middle of the conflict.

Catching Fire – Nov. 22 The Great Gatsby – in theatres now You don’t have to channel ninth grade English class to remember this great American classic by F. Scott Fitzgerald: director Baz Luhrmann (Romeo and Juliet, Moulin Rouge) presents the classic story through a modern and lively perspective. The story follows Nick Carraway, an aspiring writer who comes to live on Long Island in the summer of 1922 and comes to know his neighbor Jay Gatsby (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) and Gatsby’s love obsession with the beautiful Daisy Buchanan. The decadent setting of 1920s Long Island makes this a must-see alone, but the juxtaposition of pop and hip-hop music and Luhrmann’s signature cinematography add to its success without being a distraction. Each frame is a work of art, so be sure to check it out in 3D to enjoy every extravagant detail.

Suzanne Collins’ super-popular book series comes to the silver screen for a second installment just in time for the holidays. The original reminds me of another novel-made-film, Battle Royale, out of Japan. Yet the sequel appears to go in a completely new direction, pitting Katniss Everdeen (played by Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence) against her devious president and the corruption of the governing system—with lives hanging in the balance (for good measure).

The Host – available in DVD/Blu-Ray July 9 The Host, by Stephenie Meyer, is a science fiction tale about aliens who have come to Earth and taken possession of mankind’s bodies—namely, protagonist Melanie. These aliens also erase our memories—this sounds a lot like most of my Monday mornings. Can love break this spell? Director Andrew Niccol is just what the doctor ordered, having done similarly themed titles like Gattaca, The Truman Show, and S1m0ne. If you missed this film in theatres, don’t worry: The movie comes to DVD and Blu-Ray on July 9th.

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out and about

tv special

by meryl lumba

THE SECRET LIFE OF LIBERACE: AN HBO ORIGINAL FILM

Facts about Liberace

Academy Award winners Michael Douglas and Matt Damon shared screens on HBO’s Behind the Candelabra, which premiered on May 26th. Based on Scott Thorson’s memoir, the tempestuous six-year relationship between Liberace (Douglas) and his much younger lover (Damon) is recounted, with lavish attention to detail, a fantastic Living Out says: must see portrayal of the outrageous entertainer’s showmanship and extravagance, and more costume changes than one can count. Directed by Academy Award winner Steven Soderbergh, this film is definitely a well-acted one by Douglas and Damon: Scenes of intimacy are passionate and natural in this biopic of a secret gay love affair.

R E - WAT C H T H I S I N FA M O U S L O V E A F FA I R O N H B O G O

At the insistance of Polish piano virtuoso Paderwski, he dropped his first name and performed under his last name only. When he opened Las Vegas’ Riviera Casino-Hotel in 1954, Liberace was the city`s highest-paid entertainer. That concert was the first one that he wore extravagant costumes (including a gold lamé jacket). As reported in the June 2001 issue of A&E Biography Magazine, Liberace was so vain about his baldness that he would even go to bed wearing one of his hairpieces. During his career, Liberace earned two Emmys and five gold million best seller albums. In 1969 Liberace was named one of the five highest-paid entertainers in show business. In the ‘70s, Liberace spent at least $100,000 a year on his sparkling, brocaded, diamond and jeweled costumes.

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show your pride

calendar of events Line Dancing Wednesday, June 12, 7-8:30 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City $5 admission, call SAGE-LI to RSVP www.sageli.org, 516.323.0011

Long Island Gay Parent Teacher Student Association Thursday, June 13, 6:30-8 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City The nation’s only chartered Gay PTA, open to all who want to create safer schools. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

Long Island Gay Men’s Chorus Concert – Jukebox Time Machine Saturday, June 15, 8 p.m. – Vail Leavitt Music Hall, Riverhead Sunday, June 23, 3 p.m. – Boulton Center, Bay Shore Take a trip back through time with LIGMC back to the 1930s all the way to the present. $20 general admission, $15 seniors/students ligmc.org

SAGE-LI Pride Dance Thursday, June 20, 5-9 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Celebrate Pride month with GLBT older adults and friends. $10 admission. www.sageli.org, 631.665.2300

Professionals Networking Mixer Thursday, Juny 20, 6-8 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Join fellow GLBT and allied professionals for an evening of cocktails and socializing www.liglbtnetwork.org, 516.323.0011

Book Club Tuesday, June 25, 7 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City This month, the group discusses Jodi Picoult’s Sing You Home. www.liglbtcenter.org, 516.323.0011

LIGALY’s 13th Annual GLBT Prom Thursday, June 27, 7 p.m. The Historical Thatched Cottage, 445 East Main St., Centerport LIGALY’s Annual prom for GLBT youth and their friends. $10 admission. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Suffolk Restaurant OUTing and OUTdoors Friday, June 28, 12 p.m. Bayard Cutting

Arboretum, 440 Montauk Highway, Great River Lunch at the Hidden Oak Café followed by a walk through the arboretum. $8 parking. www.sageli.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Advisory Board – Suffolk County Monday, July 1, 1-2 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Provides feedback for SAGE-LI programming for older adults and helps plans future programs. www. sageli.org, 631.665.2300

Senior Advocate Monday, July 1, 11-1 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Representative from Suffolk Office for the Aging visits SAGE-LI monthly to provide on-site Benefits and Entitlement Counseling. www. sageli.org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Advisory Board – Nassau County Tuesday, July 2, 1-2 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Provides feedback for SAGE-LI programming for older adults and helps plans future programs. www.sageli.org, 516.323.0011

AlAnon Wednesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Closed group for all ages. www. liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

AlAnon Thursdays, 7-8:30pm The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Closed group for all ages. www. liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

Alcoholics Anonymous Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Closed group for all ages. www. liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

Aleph 2.0 4th Mondays, 7-8:30 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City The Aleph 2.0 Project supports LGBT Jewish young adults in their 20s and 30s, with programming and discussions reflecting their lives. www.liglbtcenter.org, 516.323.0011

Aleph Project Youth Meetings Thursdays, 5:30-7 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City The Aleph Project supports LGBT Jewish youth, their friends and allies, with programming and discussions reflecting their lives. www.ligaly.org, 516.323.0011

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

Brother2Brother 1st Thursday of the month, 7-8 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Social and discussion group for gay and bisexual men of color age 21+. www.liglbtcenter.org, 516.323.0011

Co-Dependents Anonymous Thursdays, 7:30-9 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 12-step group for those who desire healthy and loving relationships. www.liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

Drop-In HIV/STD Testing – Nassau County Thursdays, 5-8 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Free and confidential testing for HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. www.ligaly.org, 516.323.0011

Drop-In HIV/STD Testing – Suffolk County Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Free and confidential testing for HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

LITE Social and Discussion Group Wednesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 1st and 3rd Mondays, 8-9pm The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City An open discussion group for transgender people and their friends and family. www.liglbtcenter.org, 631.665.2300

Living PositHIVly 2nd and 4th Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City A support group for GLBT people living with HIV/AIDS. www. liglbtcenter.org, 516.323.0011

Monday Mingle Mondays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore, SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Bay Shore. www.sageli.org, 631.665.2300

Friday night social program for GLBT youth and their friends ages 13-21. $2 admission, transportation available. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

Suite 110, Garden City

Parent Support Group 1st and 3rd Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore 2nd and 4th Mondays, 6-7 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City

TRUE Social Discussion Group 4th Fridays, 6-7:30 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Discussion group for parents of GLBT children. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

PEP Team – Suffolk Thursdays, 6-8 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Interactive leadership program promoting sexual health for GLBT young people. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

Safe Schools Team Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore Youth leadership program for young people committed to creating safer schools on Long Island. www.ligaly. org, 631.665.2300

SAGE-LI Women at OUTlet Nassau (SWAN) LIVING OUT 4.314x5.563 Fridays, 8 p.m.-midnight Wednesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 The Center at Garden City, Park Ave., Bay Shore 400 Garden City Plaza,

A social and discussion group for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women. www.sageli.org, 516.323.0011

A space for gay and bi men of color to talk about health, relationships, sexuality and other topics. www. ligaly.org, 516.323.0011

TRUE Calling Youth Video Project Tuesdays, 5 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City LIGALY is offering a great opportunity for black and Latino gay and bisexual youth and their friends to show off their skills! Sing, act, dance, or perform. www.ligaly.org, 516.323.0011

Women 2 Women Tuesdays, 7:15-8:45 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore W2W is dedicated to providing a safe and supportive space fore lesbians age 40+. www.w2wli. org, 631.921.8368

Have an event that you want to promote? Let us know. Email editor@ livingoutli.org.

Garden City Mingle Tuesdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City SAGE-LI’s weekly social for GLBT seniors 50+ at The Center at Garden City. www.sageli.org, 516.323.0011

Hampton Bays Mingle 2nd and 4th Thursdays, 3-5 p.m. Hampton Bays Senior Center, 25 Ponquogue Ave., Hampton Bays SAGE-LI’s bi-monthly social for GLBT seniors 50+ on the east end. www. sageli.org, 631.665.2300

LIFE in Nassau 2nd Thursdays, 6:30-9 p.m. The Center at Garden City, 400 Garden City Plaza, Suite 110, Garden City Monthly BDSM Discussion Group. www.lifeinnassau.org

LIGALY Advisory Board Mondays, 5-7 p.m. The Center at Bay Shore, 34 Park Ave., Bay Shore

Youth help plan new programs and events at LIGALY. www.ligaly.org, 631.665.2300

LIPSA Tuesday Night Tease Bowling League Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. Bowl Long Island, 138 West Road, Patchogue Friendliest co-ed/mixed LGBT Bowling League. LIPSAbowling@ optonline.net, 516.375.9473

LIVING OUT

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be scene ligaly’s 20th anniversary gala

may 10th at carlyle on the green in bethpage state park more than 400 business, political, civic, and community leaders attended the Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY) 20th Anniversary Gala on Friday, May 10th. LIGALY’s impact on the local and national levels was celebrated, and a record $250,000 was raised to continue LIGALY’s critical programs serving glbt and allied youth.

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See the complete gallery: www.ligaly.org/galaphotos

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be scene

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long island pride 2013

your pride guide table of contents LI Pride History

24

PrideFest Entertainment

28

PrideFest Fashion

38

This Year’s Theme

24

Where to Go

31

RuPaul’s best Queens

40

Pride Over the Years

25

GLBT Superheroes

32

Who to Know

42

2013 Grand Marshals

26

Pride Recipes

34

Super Allies

45

TD Bank VIP Lounge

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What to Bring

36

Special Thanks

45

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the pride guide

saturday, june 8: huntington, li

History

Long Island Pride traces its origins to 1991 when Long Island Lesbian and Gay Pride Freedom Committee founders Leah Gustavson, David Kilmnick, Cara Wilson and Steve Henaghan approached the Town of Huntington to grant a permit to hold the first Pride Parade. The request was denied by the town on the grounds that only “traditional” parades were allowed on Huntington’s streets. The committee was represented by the ACLU and the matter was heard in a federal court on May 28, 1991 by Judge Leonard D. Wexler who ruled in favor of the committee and granted the parade permit. The first Long Island Pride Parade was held on June 9, 1991; 2013 brings the 23rd Annual Long Island Pride celebration.

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2013 Theme

This year’s theme is Super Pride, a time where superheroes in our community are called to action to celebrate Pride while also recognizing the heroic steps we have taken toward equality for all GLBT people in the local and national levels. Leave your cape at home or come decked out in full costume, but don’t hide behind an alias: We’ll see you at Long Island Super Pride.

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the pride guide

saturday, june 8: huntington, li

PRIDEFEST 2012 BROUGHT OVER 13,000 SPECTATORS TO HECKSCHER PARK.

Pride Over the Years see more highlights: lipride.org/photos LIGALY SHOWS THEIR PRIDE IN THE 1998 PARADE THROUGH HUNTINGTON.

FLOATS TRAVEL DOWN MAIN STREET DURING THE 1994 PARADE.

LOCAL DRAG CELEBRITIES SHOW OFF THEIR FABULOUS-NESS (LEFT); A FAMILY MARCHES TOGETHER TO SHOW SUPPORT (MIDDLE); YOUTH CHEER FROM A FLOAT DURING PRIDE 2010.

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

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the pride guide

saturday, june 8: huntington, li

2013 Grand Marshals DONALDSONS

Frank Petrone

Ralph Colamussi

Donaldsons Subaru

Frank P. Petrone was first elected Huntington Town supervisor in 1993 and has been re-elected four times since then. His almost 20-year tenure has been marked by sound fiscal management, community redevelopment, economic and housing initiatives, dedication to preserving the environment and open space and major capital projects to further enhance the town.

Ralph Colamussi’s grandparents were immigrants from Italy who settled in New York City and later moved to the “Gold Coast” on the North Shore of Long Island. After graduating from High School with honors, he attended Cornell University, later beginning his career as a teacher. Although loved by his peers and students alike, he eventually realized that his true calling was in the “Food World.” He purchased the Thatched Cottage, a restaurant and catering hall in Centerport, and quickly achieved recognition and success while raising his three children, Christopher, Jennifer, and Steven.

Donaldsons of Sayville has been serving Long Island’s automotive needs since 1955. Its business reputation has been built on honesty, integrity, and the best possible service.

Prior to to becoming Supervisor, Mr. Petrone worked for more than 18 years in public service. Past positions include Assistant Suffolk County Executive under three administrations, Director of Environmental Control for the Town of Huntington, Chief of Staff to the Suffolk County Legislature, and most notably as Regional Director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA).

Ralph has and continues to be an active member of many local charities, concerns and projects as well as an avid supporter of the GLBT community.

Donaldsons has been the exclusive Subaru dealer of The Long Island GLBT Services Network for the past two years, and continues to support the programs and services of The Network as one of their largest corporate supporters. Their annual charitable giving to initiatives that directly benefit Long Island’s GLBT community make them an important supporter and corporate ally.

Look for this year’s grand marshals leading the parade! New route: pg 30

The TD Bank VIP Lounge A true VIP experience awaits you at the 2013 PrideFest Celebration! The TD Bank VIP Lounge will provide an amazing experience for enjoying all of the incredible entertainment that PrideFest has to offer. Amenities include comfortable seating, shade from the sun, complimentary hors d’oeuvres, two drink tickets, and exclusive stage front access – the absolute best place to enjoy all of the entertainment!

TD Bank Cardholders receive free access to the exclusive VIP Lounge!

purchase your passes at PrideFest or in advance at lipride.org 26

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Comprehensive Cardiac Care Close to Home at Southside Hospital Same Day Appointments Available Southside Hospital provides a full spectrum of cardiac care. Our cardiac program, along with our board-certifiedcardiac physicians, has been ranked among the best for quality care by Long Island Press, American Heart Association and New York State Department of Health, among others. Our cardiologists, including interventional cardiologists and electrophysiologists, provide integrative care such as angioplasty and stenting, valve repair and replacement, and bypass surgery along with Southside’s cardiac and vascular surgeons. Our Specialists Offer: ■

Routine Cardiac Care

Advanced Arrhythmia Evaluation and Management

Pacemaker Implant and Monitoring

Renowned Expertise in Heart Disease in Women

Interventional Cardiology

Atrial Fibrillations Ablations

Risk Factor Modification

Carotid Stenting

Laser Lead Extractions

Stress Testing

Treatment of Peripheral Artery Disease

Cardiac Rehabilitation

3D Echocardiograms

Most insurance plans are accepted. To make an appointment with one of our cardiac specialists, call (631) 591-7400

North Shore-LIJ Medical Group—Southside Cardiology Physicians Jean Cacciabaudo, MD, Chief, Erik Altman, MD, Burak Arkonac, MD, Saaron Laighold, MD, David Sedaghat, MD

Southside Cardiology 280 East Main Street • Bay Shore, NY 11706 Phone: (631) 591-7400 • Fax: (631) 591-7401

>> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG

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t n e m n i a t r e t n 2013 E 13 Questions with Debbie Gibson

Can you tell us what it was like growing up on Long Island and is there anything you miss about it now?

you tell us a little bit more about why you’ve chosen charities such as these, particularly with your focus on pediatric charities?

It was a great place to grow up! You could trust your neighbors and there were tons of arts programs. I miss friends, family, and Galleria Pizza!

Kids are our most precious resource. I think because I started young, I felt that that was where I could make the most impact. I am now the spokeswoman for Children International. If you saw firsthand how people live... their strength is inspiring. I won $50,000 for them on The Celebrity Apprentice, and it went toward building a new center in India.

You were so young when your career launched! Is there anything that you wish you would’ve changed? Was it difficult to be part of the music industry at 17? It was difficult in the sense that there was no road map and no community of young performers. There were a handful of us, and we were the guinea pigs and pioneers! I wish I knew that an artist is always free to call his or her own shots— and not be owned by a label. I think all artists are programmed to deliver, no matter what, and be super human—but it is not a race and staying sane and healthy is the most important thing. What inspires you most to make music? What is your thought process like when writing a song? My process has changed drastically! I used to sit and write a song top to bottom in five minutes. But that was when my life experience was limited. Now, I find verse ideas or little additions to songs dropping in randomly—even for a song I started months ago—so now I have tons of voice recordings to compile to get the best of the best! Life and people’s emotional journeys inspire me. These days I am also inspired to write about this country and what people are going through. What album did you have the most fun with?

Debbie Gibson

“Only In My Dreams” “Shake Your Love” “Electric Youth” “Lost In Your Eyes” This Long Island native has been a true entertainer for 25 years, having been a songwriter, musician, actress, and dancer. At the age of 16, she already hit Billboard Pop Charts and was the youngest to write, produce, and perform a number one hit song (“Foolish Beat”), a record that still maintains its standing in the Guinness Book of World Records. On Broadway, Gibson played Eponine of Les Miserables and broke office records for a production of Grease through her role as Sandy. She continued to premiere in US Broadway productions, some of which include Chicago and Gypsy. She also had her one-woman show, entitled Pop Goes Broadway. Gibson is a staunch advocate for underprivileged children and created two foundations to help them excel. She is also a spokesperson for Children International and has spent more than 20 years of her life being a child sponsor. 28

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Probably the second one, Electric Youth, in terms of “fun” because I went from recording in Fred Zarr’s (Producer) basement to the Hit Factory—to [people] asking me what kind of toilet paper I wanted the bathrooms stocked with. [Laughs] It was peanut M&Ms and Doritos—my wildest dreams of making music coming through all at once!

You’re performing in the Long Island PrideFest Celebration. What inspires you to perform and participate at different Prides and what does performing at your own hometown pride celebration mean? I knew this was a smaller event, and I was thrilled to be able to make it all work and come out... no pun intended! The GLBT audience was instrumental in launching my career from Only in My Dreams to Broadway, and I will never forget it! What was life like for GLBT youth when you were growing up in Nassau County? Wow... it was rare for someone to come out. People forget how it was. People were hiding who they were, which broke my heart and continues to. I hate judgment of any kind. Live and let live and celebrate differences. That is what Pride is about to me. All the pent-up frustration from youth can now be unleashed and celebrated... loudly! Your alma mater Calhoun HS now has a GayStraight Alliance Club. Would this have been something helpful when you were growing up in Merrick?

Is there any artist in the music industry today that you admire and support?

I did not know that! I am so proud of them! And yes! My dancer/ choreographer, Buddy, would have benefitted I am sure – as would have many others. But you cannot look back... you can only celebrate the progress. I mean the Liberace movie? Matt and Michael go there. That is awesome and how it should be: all people portrayed not as caricatures but with the depth they possess.

I think Usher is brilliant and so versatile and dedicated. He makes it look so easy!

What advice would you give to today’s youth who might be struggling to come out?

Of your various accomplishments, which one are you most proud of and why?

Come out to me! Many have, truly! Life is yours—and to be celebrated—and those who cannot accept you for who you are will miss out on a great gift. But your gift to yourself, God, and the world is to be authentic and unique and live! All good things are wild and free. That is a quote from Emerson I believe. It is true. The biggest sin is to not live life to the fullest!

The ASCAP Songwriter of the Year Award! I got shut out at the Grammy’s... never won one. At that time, teens were not taken seriously. But the ASCAP award was based on the fact that my songs were played more than any other that year, so in a sense it is an award from the people. I tied with Bruce Springsteen! You started the Gibson Girl Foundation. Can you tell us what you hope to accomplish through the foundation? We give scholarships to kids who cannot afford to attend arts programs and arts camps primarily! You also support several other charities, including the Pediatric AIDS Foundation. Can

What can fans of yours look forward to next? I am currently an “Expert” and judge on Sing Your Face Off airing next season on ABC, and I am having a ball! Darrell Hammond is my weekly counterpart, and he could not be a sweeter man. I am also writing my next album, and it will get recorded when I am in the best possible emotional and vocal place. I didn’t wait this long to release something that is mediocre!

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the pride guide

saturday, june 8: huntington, li

Robin S.

Janice Robinson

Hailing from Queens, New York, this singer-songwriter scored much success in the music industry in the early ‘90s. Her debut single, which happens to be her number one hit, “Show Me Love” hit the top of Billboard charts. Under Big Beat Records, her music continued to receive success from dance charts, which helped her receive a spot as a performer on the American Music Awards. In 1997, Atlantic Records helped her release an album filled with Gospel and Contemporary R&B sounds. Her single “It Must Be Love” stayed at number one for weeks on dance charts.

Former lead of the ‘90s sensational Eurodance and House group, Livin’ Joy, Janice Robinson started her solo career in 1999. Their biggest hit, “Dreamer,” was an international hit all across Europe. Robinson’s solo album, The Color Within Me, slowed to a Pop/Rock sound but is still popular among Livin’ Joy fans. Janice Robinson opened for legendary Tina Turner’s US Tour in 2000. Her single “Dream ‘05” made the top five on the Hot Dance Music/Club Play charts while “Earthbeat” was compiled in a Pride 1998 mix.

“Show Me Love” “Luv 4 Luv”

“Dreamer” “Don’t Stop Moving”

PrideFest 2013 Host SIRPAUL

Aunt Barbara

Out New York music producer, singer/songwriter, and performer SIRPAUL has described his music as “Next Generation New Wave Electro-Folk, combining acoustic and electric guitars with old school Hip-Hop and ElectroBeats.” His new single “Touch Me” is dominating the Top 10 charts world-wide. SIRPAUL’s single “Do U” has also been the theme song for Logo’s NewNowNextAwards in 2008. Currently, he is promoting his new album The Horse and working on his electropop side project called Simulover.

Long Island’s favorite Tupperware consultant will be this year’s host at Long Island PrideFest. This self-proclaimed “potpourri of ‘60s and ‘70s Long Island housewives” will surely keep attendees laughing and on their toes.

“Do U” “Touch Me”

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Your Favorite Tupperware Consultant

entertainment continued on page 30 LIVING OUT

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the pride guide

Angelo Garcia

Former member of Puerto Rican boy band, Menudo, Angelo Garcia signed on with World Wide Entertainment records to jump start his solo career. Garcia started performing at the young age of 7, and has been acting, creating music, and modeling since he was 11 years old.

saturday, june 8: huntington, li

Amber Ferrari

Another Long Island native, singer-songwriter, musician, and actress Amber Ferrari electrifies crowds with her music all over New York. Amber released her Debut CD, Electric Blue, with Special Guest Billboard Recording Artist Richie Cannata best known for playing with Billy Joel & The Beach Boys on Saxophone.

Shadina

R&B sensation Shadina is a singer-songwriter and producer who started the dance group Raw Fusion at 10, and was actually discovered by The Temptations’ Otis Williams at age 13. She has shared the stage with heavy-hitters Alicia Keys, Robin Thicke, Mary J. Blige, and Nas just to name a few.

Performances begin at 1pm in Heckscher Park Host: Aunt Barbara

DJ: Steve Fog

Performance Lineup:

DJ Steve Fog

Long Island native DJ Steve Fog boasts of highquality sounds that get crowds jumping. He boasts a considerable collection of music ranging from Latin to House to Hip-Hop, and has made a name for himself spinning several nights a week across Long Island.

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At Most Fear

The 2013 winners of LIGALY’s Got Big Talent (L.G.B.T.) are At Most Fear, a hard rock/metalcore band hailing from East Islip. The group credits its musical style to influences like Bullet for My Valentine and Of Mice and Men.

Amber Ferrari At Most Fear Janice Robinson Shadina

Robin S. Angelo Garcia Debbie Gibson SIRPAUL

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LIGayPride_Jun8_v3_Bay St 5/21/13 2:35 PM Page 1

the pride guide

Bay Street’s Hamptons Pride Dance Parties!

saturday, june 8: huntington, li

Know Where to Go PARADE

New Route! Lineup: Huntington Senior Center/Cinema Arts Center parking lot (423 Park Avenue)

The Long Island Pride Parade will begin at the Huntington Cinema Arts Center in Huntington Village on Park Avenue, turn left along Main Street, and end at the Heckscher Park entrance at the corner of Main Street and Prime Avenue. The Parade kicks off at 12 p.m. and draws thousands of spectators: arrive early to find the best view and cheer on this year’s marchers!

Summer Saturdays June 22, July 27 and August 31 Fun starts at10:30 pm

PLAYGROUND

PRIDEFEST

Dance with DJ Karin Ward

th YaPyAPTaH thAD TbHaD Ab Sa B

FOOD TRUCKS

ToB TO SA

E

AG ST

Rock the Dock!

ENTERTAINMENT Bathroom

Saturday, July 20!

SE UM

E PA

RVIEM

Hosted by the one and only

Evergreen Pine Grove

MU

IM

largest fundraiser of the year!

BEER GARDEN

PR

BAY STREET THEATRE’s

VIP LOUNGE

HEALTH PAVILION

NEU

G

Richard Kind!

KIN PAR

E NU

With celebrity auctioneer

NO

E EV A

Susan Lucci!

T IRS H DF OL URC CH

EXHBITORS

EXHIBITOR DROP-OFF

CHILDREN’S AREA

I

DINNER • COCKTAILS • DANCING • PRIZES

Reserve now for the Hottest Party of the Season!

Individual tickets, tables and VIP tables

Call the Development Office at 631-725-0818.

MA

ET

RE

T NS

PrideFest runs from 1 p.m. until 6 p.m. in Heckscher Park. Enjoy all-day entertainment, community booths, food and drinks, and much more. E T SCALE PARKING IN HUNTINGTON

M

A

IN

ST

RE

There are 3 available municipal parking lots in the Village of Huntington. 1. The first lot is south of 25A (Main Street/Northern Blvd) between Green and New Streets. From the east, travel on 25A past the store. Make your first left and the lot will be on your right. From the west on 25A, make a right on New Street and the lot will be on the right. Pedestrian Entry 2. The second lot is located on 25A (Main street) just east of the intersection of 25A and New York Avenue. This lot is on the south side of the street. 3. The third lot is located off of Gerard Street across from the main Post office. Also note that meters are in effect weekdays until 6 p.m. only, and that bank lots that are not chained off are available for parking at night.

100 ft = 1 in

Call or buy online! 631-725-9500 www.baystreet.org All programming subject to change.

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the pride guide

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Know Your Comics: GLBT Superheroes

by Christopher Boire

Katherine Kane (Batwoman) – Leave the

Alan Scott (Green Lantern) – Multiple figures

in comics have taken up the mantle as one of the Green Lantern Corps (like Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern most moviegoers are now familiar with), with Alan Scott being the first in 1940. The character was originally straight, and the father of a gay son. The character changed in 2011, when DC Comics, the company behind Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, among other comic heroes, decided to start fresh with all of its franchises. This was to introduce new readers to classic heroes, and a chance to make the iconic figures more accessible and inclusive to modern readers.

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Jean-Paul Beaubier (Northstar) –

Gifted with super-flight and reflexes, Northstar holds the title as one of the first openly gay superheroes in American comics. Even though he was introduced to the comic world in 1979, Northstar wasn’t confirmed as being gay until 1992, in Issue #106 of “Alpha Flight” (an issue that also featured a child dying of AIDS). Last June, in Issue 51 of “The Astonishing X-Men,” JeanPaul married his partner Kyle Jinadu, with their ceremony in Central Park making the cover.

subtext for Batman and Robin. Katherine Kane (known as Kate), is identified, from the start of her 2011 self-title comic, as a lesbian—and in several comics leading up to it. Kathy, a love interest for Batman since 1956, is another superhero remolded by DC Comics’ franchise re-launch (called “The New 52”), also making the character of Jewish descent. Issue #17, released in February, featured her identity reveal and marriage proposal to girlfriend Maggie Sawyer. DC has identified Batwoman as its highest-profile gay superhero.

Brandon Sharpe (Striker) and Julie Power (Lightspeed) – Another title

focusing on teenage heroes from the Avengers universe, “Avengers Academy” followed a team of super-powered humans deemed likely to become super villains. The Avengers teach them to try and avoid this fate. Among the students is Brandon, a lightning-powered, womanizing child actor so eager for the limelight that when he finally does come out, it’s in a press conference. His revelation is aided by the bisexual flier and teaching assistant, Julie, introduced in Issue #23, with her own confusion on how she fits into the gay/straight spectrum.

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LGBTad_LongIslandURJ_2013:Layout 1 5/13/13 11:53 AM Page 1

We are all family Reform Judaism embraces everyone!

B’nai Israel Reform Temple, Oakdale

Port Jewish Center, Port Washington

Central Synagogue of Nassau County, Rockville Centre

Sinai Reform Temple, Bay Shore

Community Reform Temple, Westbury The Community Synagogue, Port Washington Garden City Jewish Center, Garden City North Country Reform Temple-Ner Tamid, Glen Cove North Fork Reform Synagogue, Cutchogue North Shore Synagogue, Syosset

Temple Am Echad– The South Shore Reform Congregation, Lynbrook

Temple Chaverim, Plainview Temple Isaiah, Great Neck Temple Isaiah, Stony Brook Temple Sholom, Floral Park Temple Sinai of Massapequa

Temple Avodah, Oceanside

Temple Sinai of Roslyn, Roslyn Heights

Temple Beth David, Commack

Temple Tikvah, New Hyde Park

Temple Beth El of Huntington Temple Beth-El of Great Neck Temple Beth Torah, Melville Temple B’nai Torah, Wantagh

Men of Reform Judaism North American Federation of Temple Youth Reform Jewish Voice of New York State Women of Reform Judaism

For further information about congregations in your neighborhood, please visit urj.org or reformjudaism.org or call the URJ at 212.650.4295.

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the pride guide

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What you’ll need • • • • • •

White cake mix (18.25 oz. box) Food coloring (red, blue, green, and yellow) 6 small bowls Baking cups Frosting (of your choice) Rainbow Sprinkles

How to make it

Prepare white cake mix, then divide the batter evenly among six small bowls. Dye each bowl of batter a rainbow color.

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COLOR

DROPS OF FOOD COLORING

Purple

9 drops red, 6 drops blue

Blue

12 drops blue

Green

12 drops green

Yellow

12 drops yellow

Orange

12 drops yellow, 4 drops red

Red

18 drops red

What you’ll need

• 1 part Apple Liqueur • 1 part Blueberry Liqueur • 1 part Cranberry Juice • 2 parts Tropical Fruit Juice

bake or mix a festive treat this June!

How to make it

Bake any type of cupcakes according to recipe. Let cool and top with bright blue frosting. Take rainbow candy (Airheads Xtreme Sweet/Sour Rainbow Strips, available at most supermarkets), cut into strips, bend into shape, and push into cupcake. Hide edges of candy with 3-4 mini marshmallows for clouds on each side.

Put the cranberry juice and the tropical juice into a tumbler. Pour the liqueurs into a shaker over ice and shake well. Pour into tumbler and add a pink umbrella. Sprinkle with pop rocks.

What you’ll need

Line 16 muffin pan with baking cups. Evenly distribute the purple batter among the cups, then the blue, and so on, following the order shown. Gently spread each layer of batter with the back of a spoon to cover the color underneath.

• 55ml. Light Rum • 1 tsp. Caster Sugar • 55ml. Strawberry Schnapps • Juice of 1 Lime • Fresh Strawberries

Bake the cupcakes according to recipe directions. Before serving, let cool and top each cupcake with frosting and sprinkles as garnish.

Blend the ingredients and strain them into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with crushed ice and umbrella.

LIVING OUT

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At TD Bank, we like to bank human. And we’re proud to celebrate the LGBT community.

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the pride guide

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A Picnic in the Park Make sure you have the essentials to enjoy all PrideFest has to offer in Heckscher Park by coming prepared!

BLANKET OR CHAIR Dancing to Debbie Gibson and other PrideFest headliners may make you tired, so be prepared to sit and stay a while. A folding chair or picnic blanket on the grass is a must-have.

SUNSCREEN If the weather is in full summer swing, you’ll want some protection from the sun. Bring sunscreen, some sunglasses, an umbrella, or however else you like to avoid a farmer’s tan.

Or stay out of the sun by partying in the TD Bank VIP Lounge: more info on pg 26.

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CAMERA Whether you’re snapping pictures of local drag performers, dancing entertainers, or your family and friends, you’ll want to save the memories: Bring a camera.

Be sure to smile for the photographers and you could be featured on LI Pride’s website!

YOUR APPETITE Get refreshed with a drink at the Beer and Wine Garden or snack on hors d’oeurves in the TD Bank VIP Lounge, or standard festivale fare awaits from one of many gourmet food trucks!

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Partnering with you, partnering with the community.

Donaldsons is a proud sponsor of the LI GLBT Network

Donaldsons Volkswagen Subaru Sales, Service & Parts Center 5700 Sunrise Highway Sayville NY 11782 888.255.6712 www.donaldsonsvw.com www.donaldsonssubaru.com

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the pride guide

style

saturday, june 8: huntington, li

by matthew ambrosio

PrideFest Fashion Drawing Inspiration from Music Revolutionaries Show Some Skin

You know it is going to be an interesting time for fashion when the must-have accessory is a hula hoop. The summer music festival season is reborn, and fashion takes on a different character that screams patriotic rock star, nouveau hippie, and floral goddess. Whatever persona you wish to take on, one theme remains constant throughout: pride. The music and art gatherings carry on as a timeless tradition. While it does evolve with time, the fashion statement legacy remains for anyone who wants to use the art of style as a social platform and self-promotion.

While some prefer to blend into the lush scenery, others dress in more of a freethinking manner that would make Mother Nature turn red. Concert attire can take on a rebellious role and push the limits of risqué.

Nature is Haute Set in a beautiful sunshine-filled valley surrounded by the elements, Coachella celebrates music and the arts. Those who are present become part of the exhibits and ensembles with flowing floral patterns and specific details adorning textiles, footwear, head bands, and sunglass rims, so naturally you would think they lived in a fantasy garden. The inner feminine goddess is liberated.

Attire is not just an individual style statement. It takes on new meaning when you bring together thousands for a special purpose. Fashion and style become more of a “uniform” method of distinction for those with specific musical fixations and beliefs. It becomes a powerful medium of showing off what you stand for. This June, get inspired by music festivals like Coachella, Bonaroo, or Pitchfork, all of which demand trends from song-loving revolutionaries.

Rock Out At rock music and art festivals like Bonaroo, which has hosted groups such as the Beastie Boys and Metallica, short shorts scarcely wrap curves and tiny tops create a delicate frame for showing off the midriff. Long and untamed hair completes the look, reminiscent of styles from past decades of the ‘70s and ‘80s. Fashion to these rockers are a channel to advocate for freedom, love, and to breach boundaries with the power of pride.

Share your pride outfit with Living Out and be featured by Matthew Ambrosio next issue!

facebook.com/livingoutli

We Know What It Means to Have a Family. We Help Build Them Every Day. At Long Island IVF, we are committed to helping all people become parents, regardless of sexual orientation or marital status. When you are ready to start, Long Island IVF is here to help. Please contact us to learn more. Melville Phone 631-752-0606

Lake Success Phone 516-358-6363

West Islip Phone 631-661-5437

Brooklyn Phone 718-375-6400

Plainview Phone 516-939-2229

Stony Brook Phone 631-331-7575

East Patchogue Phone 631-687-2229

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Building Families Every Day

www.longislandivf.com

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“I thought all funeral homes conduct cremations the same. Boy, was I wrong.” Many people think all cremation providers are alike, until they hear terrible stories in the news about families who weren’t treated right. Our funeral home is the exclusive provider in our area to offer Cremation with Confidence™. This means we commit to a 10-step process in taking care of cremation. We are so committed, we offer the Cremation with Confidence™ Guarantee. Having served families for many years, we know how important it is to have peace of mind. Here at Moloney Family Funeral Homes, we have taken care of all the details.

YES! Please send me a Cremation with Confidence™ brochure along with cremation information for my family.

NAME ADDRESS CITY/STATE/ZIP

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Please clip and send to: Moloney’s Lake Funeral Home and Cremation Center 132 Ronkonkoma Ave. • Lake Ronkonkoma, NY 11779

631-588-1515

www.moloneyfh.com

Serving all of Long Island with locations in: Central Islip, Holbrook, Hauppauge, Bohemia, Lake Ronkonkoma, and Port Jefferson Station

Do You Know Somebody Celebrating Love? WEDDINGS • COCKTAIL PARTIES DINNER PARTIES • BBQ’S

Our Friendly Catering Consultants Will Help You Plan A Fabulous Affair At The Location Of Your Choice Home - Backyard - Venue (Site Suggestions Available)

FROM SIMPLE CASUAL TO FABULOUS ELEGANCE

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THE BEST PART OF AN AFFAIR IS OFTEN THE COCKTAIL PARTY SO WE CREATED THIS MEAL WITH THAT IN MIND. THE FOOD, BEVERAGES & FUN ARE CONTINUOUS RIGHT INTO DESSERT & COFFEE. SO THE PARTY DOESN’T GET SLOWED DOWN BY A SEATED MEAL

“BISTRO DINING”

Discriminating Tastes Rave About This Meal!

When You Have A Need For Catering From Casual to Elegant Speak With Our Friendly Catering Consultants or visit us at: www.coliseumcaterers.com

View Our Complete Menu Online or Call for a Complete Brochure 516-483-4900 x4 www.coliseumcaterers.com

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NOT PRINT BLUE LINES DODO NOT PRINT BLUE LINES FILE IS TO SIZE FILE IS TO SIZE

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DO NOT PRINT BLUE LINES FILE IS TO SIZE


the pride guide

saturday, june 8: huntington, li

The Herstory of Rupaul’s Drag Race

1 2

Did anyone else cry when Jujubee had to lip-sync against Raven in the All-Star season? This hilarious queen was in the top three two times, and when not talking about her love of fried chicken, Juju has graced commercials and music videos with her presence.

Season four’s large and in charge queen, Latrice has won the hearts of many fans, landing her the “Miss Congeniality” title. She also was runner-up in the All-Star season. This queen overcame a troubled past, and continues to pour positivity to both queens and women on Drag U. Let her sop you up!

3 Fans have a love-hate relationship with season three, top three queen Manila for her disheartening, cliquey behavior, but that all changed in the All-Star season when Manila became one of the fan favorites. This haute queen is known for her humorous couture outfits. Gag!

4

5

Who do you think deserved the crown? Tell us at livingoutli.org

Beautiful and bold, Nina Flowers was in the top two for the very first season of Drag Race. While only in the All-Star season briefly, Nina continued to challenge conventional drag with her fierce and androgynous runway looks. Nina is also no stranger to the music industry and is a professor on Drag U.

Season two, California native Raven was in the top three twice in Ru Herstory, but her frank demeanor and confidence have taken her much further than the set of Drag Race. Raven has shot promos for hit series Nip/ Tuck and Orbitz Travel, in addition to music videos and guest appearances on reality series American’s Next Top Model. Work!

Kellen, Operations Analysis Manager, Strategic Improvement

We’re all different, every single one of us. That’s something to respect, encourage and celebrate. At Capital One, ®

you are who you are. And that’s the way we like it. Proud to be a sponsor of the LIGALY 20th Anniversary Gala.

capitalonecareers.com We are an equal opportunity employer committed to diversity in the workplace.

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the pride guide

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Good Company 15 Out and Proud GLBT People to Know and Celebrate

Frank Ocean

Anna Pacquin

Margaret Cho

This Grammy winner and R&B singer-songwriter came out in 2012 when he stated he experienced unrequited love from a man.

True Blood actress Anna Pacquin publicly came out as bisexual at a Give a Damn, a campaign that is part of a GLBT advocacy group.

This queer-identified comedian has won awards for her humanitarian work for women, Asian Pacific Islanders, and the GLBT community.

Mary Gonzalez

Fallon Fox

Azealia Banks

She is Texas’ first ever GLBT lawmaker as a State Representative. After her campaign, she officially came out as pansexual.

She is the first known trans MMA fighter. To date, she has two wins and no losses and the full support of MMA’s management.

While she considers herself openly bisexual, this award-winning rapper says she does not like labeling people on sexual orientation alone.

Tammy Baldwin

Richard Blanco

Lana Wachowski

Baldwin is the first openly gay senator to win a seat in the US Senate, and she has the highest seniority in her class of senators.

He is the first Latino and openly gay inaugural poet, and read at President Obama’s second inauguration.

Director of The Matrix, Lana is the first major Hollywood director to come out as trans. Wachowski received a visibility award from HRC in 2012.

Matthew Vines

Chris Tina Bruce

Andy Marra

This activist took a leave of absence from Harvard in order to study the Bible and homosexuality in order to fight for GLBT people who also come from a Christian background..

Bruce is the first trans bodybuilder to participate in a competition. Bruce is an avid speaker, activist, and trainer dedicated to discussing gender fluidity.

This activist came out as trans to her adoptive parents and travelled to Korea to meet and to come out to her birth parents. She works with GLSEN, NCTE, and GLAAD.

Edie Windsor Having been together with her late wife for more than 40 years, Windsor is being forced to pay $363,000 in federal estate taxes, a whopping amount she would not have to pay if she were in a heterosexual marriage. Windsor is currently fighting the Supreme Court on the constitutionality of DOMA.

Anderson Cooper This renowned CNN anchor came out in 2012, noting that he has always been gay and proud. He is also a freelance writer and published his a memoir earlier in his career.

Diego Sanchez Hired as the first openly trans Capitol Hill legislative staff member by Barney Frank (who is the first congressman to be in a same-sex marriage), Sanchez was also the first trans person on the DNC Platform Committee. 42

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Learn more about these courageous members of our community at livingoutli.org >> READ MORE AT LIVINGOUTLI.ORG


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ART is my life. Long Island is my place. Long Island Pulse is my magazine. —Artist Jerelyn Hanrahan

Long Island Pulse Proudly Supports Long Island GLBT Services Net work

Sophisticated, successful professionals who live, work and play in the Hamptons, Gold Coast and boutique communities of Long Island subscribe to Long Island Pulse Magazine to catch up with the who’s who and find out where to go and what to do. Join this influential readership. Subscribe today at lipulse.com/subscribe.

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the pride guide

saturday, june 8: huntington, li

5 Super Allies

Making a Difference Zach Wahls This young activist addressed the Iowa House Judiciary Committee in a public hearing regarding the state’s ban on same-sex marriage. Though not gay, he has two mothers, and he explicitly stated that he does not consider himself an ally, but rather, part of the GLBT community. He is also the co-founder of Scouts for Equality and currently works with environmental activists.

Brendon Ayanbadejo This NFL Raven’s player has advocated for marriage equality since 2009. He is one of the participants who filed an amicus brief with the Supreme Court in support of same-sex marriage, particularly after Prop 8. He also received national attention when he participated in a Maryland campaign for marriage equality.

Nancy Pelosi An ally to the GLBT community as early as 1996, Pelosi voted against the Defense Against Marriage Act, voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment in the early 2000s, and stated her opposition to Prop 8. She has noted that since her first day in Congress, ending discrimination against the GLBT community has been a top priority.

Jay-Z & Beyoncé In an interview with CNN, Jay-Z praised President Obama for his stance on marriage equality, noting that Obama’s decision is the “right thing to do as a human being” and believes the ban on same-sex marriage is one of the things “holding the country back.” His wife, Beyoncé, has openly addressed her support of gay marriage as well.

Josh Hutcherson He was honored as the youngest person to receive GLAAD’s Vanguard Award, which is for professionals who have increased the visibility and understanding of the GLBT community through their work. The Hunger Games star is also the co-founder of the national ally organization Straight But Not Narrow.

long island pride would like to thank... the board of the long island glbt services network Jason Rein, President Bruce Castellano, Vice President Linda Fazio, PhD, Secretary Frank Ullman, Treasurer Trent Preszler, PhD

John Ottino Tom Maligno, Esq. Robert Heppenheimer Dr. George Santiago, Jr.

the staff of the long island glbt services network Robert Vitelli, MA Chief Operating Officer / Director of Development; Robert Balzarano, LMSW Director of Mental Health Services; Matthew Cotty Director of Health Promotion and Education; Ruth Davis Information & Referral Specialist; Eliscia DiStefano Executive Assistant; Keri Divanian Program Assistant; Jenilee Dowling, MSW Youth Organizing and Leadership Coordinator; James Fallarino Public Affairs Director; Dominick Lettieri HIV Testing and Outreach Specialist; Lambert Liu, LMSW Health Counselor; Meryl Lumba Editor, Living Out; Jeffrey Main Communications and Social Media Coordinator; Kerrie O’Neill, LMSW Director of Programs; Elier Reyes Director of HIV Prevention Services; Kirsten Rizzo Community Initiatives Assistant; Christopher J. Scarpati, MA Assistant Director of Development; Andrew Schleider Development Officer for Corporate and Business Relations; Michael Serrano Development Officer for Database Management and Special Events; Karen Taylor Director of Jewish Outreach; Irene Tsikitas, MSW Director of Adult and Senior Services; Patricia Valdez Program and Administrative Assistant

and each of the many volunteers who made long island pride 2013 possible!

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out front

A Living Out exclusive with Melissa Etheridge on being out, being whole, and being proud. Interview by Meryl Lumba t’s the sort of thing you keep to yourself, and then you leave town,” said singersongwriter Melissa Etheridge. As a young Kansas native and lesbian growing up in the ‘60s and ‘70s, coming out was not an option.

father was the one person she really modeled her life after, sharing that he was a “wonderful man” that took her to all her performances and drove her to every rehearsal. She also admitted that if it was not for her father, she would not be the performer she is today.

The first time she perhaps knew she is a lesbian was when she “maybe didn’t feel the way [her] friends do about boys.” Still, her small conservative town forced her to keep those ideas to herself, and to stay in the closet until she was a teenager.

Etheridge then went to college in Boston, stating that she always thought of big cities as gay meccas. Shortly after being in Boston, she left college to pursue her music career in California. Before she travelled to larger cities, however, Etheridge started performing in male-country music groups at only 12 years old.

Etheridge noted that by the time she was a teenager, the band morphed from Country to Pop and turned into a Top 40 group by the end of her junior year. Though the band turned more mainstream than her liking, this did not stop her from pursuing her craft. Etheridge stated that what inspires her most to make music is her love of it, adding that the craft has been her favorite thing to do since she was only 10-yearsold. Etheridge shared that she loves having the ability to transform thoughts to song and then to music, noting that she is honored to translate emotional ideas.

“It’s funny because I loved being in front of people, but I wasn’t playing songs I actually liked, although I appreciated it,” Etheridge remarked. “I got to learn about music. I played with great

When asked what album she had the most fun creating after all these years, with two Grammy awards and multi-platinum selling records, she paused to think and then chuckled, “Probably my last

When asked who she first came out to, Etheridge laughed, “Probably my best friend in high school because I was kissing her. Besides that, my friends and my dad—I came out to him before I left.” Etheridge also added that her

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musicians.”

one. Each album I make, I’m more confident and aware of what I enjoy and how I enjoy with the best experiences.” Etheridge also shared her thoughts on the music industry today. “There’s a come-and-go of what we call civil war music: The Lumineers and Mumford & Sons [are bands] that everyone is singing in the bars,” she remarked. “Then I look at someone like Adele and I’m like ‘Oh, she’s gonna be around’ cause she’s got this talent, this soul, this understanding of it.” Etheridge also shared that she thinks Adele is smart for being able to be in the spotlight and knowing when to take a break. She also added that if she could perform a duet with any current artist in the industry today, she would want to sing with Adele.

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out front

Your word is all that you have. Every choice that you make, the words that you say and the thoughts that you think create what’s in front of you. Walk with as much truth as you can find, and it’ll help your journey. Melissa Etheridge on what “Speak True” means to her today.

“You call Adele and tell her I want to sing with her!” Etheridge joked. In 2011, the singer-songwriter also wrote an autobiography entitled The Truth Is: My Life in Love and Music. Etheridge noted that the process of getting her thoughts to paper is a difficulty in and of itself. “It’s like a hot potato: you want to get it off [of yourself],” she laughed. Etheridge stated that after spending 10 years talking about what it is like being a lesbian, she just wanted to write her experience and present it to the public factually, especially after years of audiences making generalizations about her and her orientation. At the height of her career in 1993, Etheridge came out publicly at the Triangle Ball, despite the consequences it could have had on her career. Having released three

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albums at the time, she noted that though there was a risk she needed to do it for herself. “I remember doing an interview—it was one of the first covers of a magazine I’d been on. Warehouse music had an in-house magazine, and I was on the cover,” she paused. “I was very careful to always be very genderless. I’d say ‘partner’ or ‘they’ and the writer went through and changed it to ‘my boyfriend.’” Worried that people were to think she was lying about her sexual orientation, especially after she was out to loved ones and was discovered in lesbian bars, Etheridge disclosed that she reached a boiling point. “If someone isn’t going to buy my music because I’m gay, then they don’t understand it then!”

Since, Etheridge has been a staunch and fearless activist for several causes, many of which are incredibly personal to her. In 2004, Etheridge had been diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. She chose to be open about her struggles, making her treatment no secret to audiences worldwide. Etheridge also voiced her support of legalizing medical marijuana. Through her personal experiences, she does not understand how anyone could withstand chemotherapy without it. “If you really believe in Western medicine and that the doctor knows best and you want to do whatever they say to live, that system is for you. I have a more holistic approach to my body. I want to know why I got cancer. I don’t believe that cancer just picked me,” she said.

Etheridge remarked that she believes her body was in a series of conditions at the time, including the food she was eating and the stress she was experiencing. After studying the cancer for many years, she stated that her cancer was a process of too much acid in the body. Etheridge stated that her decision to use medical marijuana gave her pain relief and kept her from getting depressed, which she noted is a big issue in chemotherapy, in addition to giving her an appetite, claiming that under-nourishment is why most chemo patients end up in a hospital. “I can either take four to five different pills that each give me side-effects or take this herb that has no side effects and is not addictive. So it just made sense to CONTINUED ON PAGE 48

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out front CONTINUED FROM PAGE 47

me,” Etheridge shared. “There’s a lot of old-fashioned fear.” Shortly after her several treatments, Etheridge participated in arguably one of the most awe-inspiring performances the Grammy Awards has ever experienced, as she sang “Piece of My Heart” with Joss Stone, a tribute to Janis Joplin. Sharing that this moment was a very personal experience, Etheridge was surprised by the effect her performance had. “It was my first appearance in public since my announcement that I had cancer. It had been months since I was outside of my house—other than going to chemo treatment,” she disclosed. Etheridge reminisced on her decision to perform. “I guess I don’t do things on a small level much,” she chuckled. “I love Janis Joplin. I remember thinking I might be weak…but I’d be pissed if I was home and someone else is singing ‘Piece of My Heart.’ As [the performance] got closer, it meant

a lot to me. That morning, I got my radiation treatment. I was very weak, and that’s probably what made the performance so good. It grounded me because I couldn’t move like I usually move. I’m very grateful for that. Not a week goes by without someone mentioning it to me.”

However, of all her professional accomplishments, she remarked, without hesitation, that the one accomplishment she is most proud of is her children. Mindful of her children’s privacy, Etheridge boasted that she is absolutely proud of all of them, remarking that they are four “absolutely amazing individuals.”

On supporting a wide variety of charities, such as the Treatment Action Campaign, V-Day, and the Grammy Foundation, just to name a few, Etheridge shared that she chose groups that represent the parts of her that she never wants to dilute and ignore. She remarked that the groups would always be GLBT causes, in addition to cannabis and specific cancer research foundations.

“I want to brag to the world, ‘Don’t even question whether gays can raise kids because wait ‘til you see mine!’” she laughed.

“I don’t believe in the big raising— and the millions of billions of pink ribbon dollar stuff. I don’t think that’s worth that—that’s why I try to give my attention to people who understand that health is our own responsibility. There’s a wellness revolution happening, and that’s who I try to give my attention to,” Etheridge argued.

“Know that it gets better. Your goal is to have wholeness inside of yourself and being just who you are is the greatest strength that you have in this world—otherwise you’re always off balance,” Etheridge paused. “If you want any personal satisfaction, success, goals of any kind, you will need to be yourself. You will need to

As someone who is openly out and has children of her own, Etheridge had wise words for youth struggling either with their sexuality or gender identity, stating that it is not easy being a youth no matter what one’s sexual preference is.

present yourself to the world as you are. Otherwise, it will always be a constant journey of falling off.” And perhaps one of the phrases Etheridge is well known for is “Speak True.” She said that today, the meaning of this phrase is still the same: knowing that one’s own words are hugely powerful. “Your word is all that you have. Every choice that you make, the words that you say and the thoughts that you think create what’s in front of you. Walk with as much truth as you can find, and it’ll help your journey,” she shared. Since Etheridge has been so honest and candid about her personal life, Living Out asked if she could share one thing fans may not know about her. In turn, she laughed, “Oh, everybody knows everything. I have nothing left at all! Well, I’m a huge Game of Thrones fan.” Fans of Etheridge can look forward to her creating more of the things she can from music: television, movies, theatre, records, and on stage. “I just love music,” she said. “I’m far from over.”

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living healthy

parenting

by laurie segal, lcsw

Teenagers Today “It’s 10 am! …Do you know where your children are?”

Summer can offer older children and parents a welcome respite from the stresses and strains of homework, tests, and other school-year demands. However, it can also provide a new set of worries for parents with adolescents not away for the summer or involved in daily activities. Adolescents want to make their own decisions on their own; parents worry about being overprotective. Finding a balance between encouraging independence and setting appropriate limits to ensure children’s safety is a dilemma facing every parent.

1

go with your gut instincts

Trust your instincts. If you are concerned about your adolescent spending long periods of time alone at home, you may have reason to be.

2

talk about the issues

Identify the major areas of concern and talk about them with teens. We’re not just talking about sex, drugs, and rock and roll! We’re talking about the everyday issues of excess, such as using the phone and the Internet, breaking curfews, watching cable TV, violent shows, and “R”-rated movies. This includes mundane issues as well, such as who, what, where, when, and how many kids can come over when you’re not home.

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3

While it’s fine to allow your teen to enjoy downtime, too much can be a problem for your family. Research indicates that unsupervised and unstructured time can lead to boredom, peer pressure, and risk-taking behavior.

collaborate with your teen

It is very important for adolescents to feel they are a part of the decision-making process. Allow teens to express and negotiate the things that are important to them. Ultimately, however, it is the parent’s job to set the stage regarding expectations and boundaries. It may not appear this way, but teens are desperately looking for parental help to keep their impulsive behavior in check.

4

ask laurie I’m a bisexual man in my thirties and have a nine-year-old daughter who I have custody of every weekend. My friends or family will often make jokes about my sexuality in front of her, implying that I am promiscuous or “can’t make up my mind.” I want to tell her that these remarks are simply untrue and offensive. Do you have any suggestions? -Bi and Blue Dear Bi and Blue, I am so sorry you are in this difficult situation. Having custody of your daughter every weekend is wonderful because she will be able to see the truth about you with her own eyes. > Start slowly and gingerly. Open up a discussion by letting her know the grown-up world can be confusing and if she has any questions about you, or anything else, you hope she would feel comfortable asking you. > Be sure not to badmouth others. Modeling tolerance is more effective than adding conflict. > If she asks about your bisexuality, ask her first what she has already heard and clarify in an ageappropriate way. > Explain to her that while people may have conflicting opinions, all comments should be managed with tolerance and respect. > Be sure to let her know that whatever your sexuality, she was conceived with lots of love. Good luck! –Laurie

set reasonable goals together

Be realistic and have reasonable expectations. If you are too rigid with your adolescent, they will hide things from you and perhaps lie. If you are too permissive, they will act out in an attempt to draw you into setting appropriate limits. Make sure expectations are crystal clear. It is not too obsessive to have a written agreement regarding acceptable behavior as well as what the consequences will be if rules are broken.

5

communicate, then evaluate

Speak to other parents and find out what their kids are doing during the summer and learn from their experience. This is particularly important for working parents who find themselves out of the parent communication loop. After you collaborate, communicate: Evaluate how things are going on a regular basis. Check in with your teenager and be sure to allow for corrections as you go.

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glbtad2:Layout 1

wellness

3:40 PM

Page 1

by dr. bill blazey

What you need to know about STIs and HIV... Most people think that they will know if they have an STI, but did you know that many times a person can be infected without knowing it? Getting a rash or noticing a discharge typically makes people go to the doctor, however for many STIs, these symptoms can resolve even though the infection persists. People with an STI can transmit the infection to other people even when not having symptoms. Preventing infections by safer sex or abstinence is the most important step you can take; it is also important to get regularly tested for HIV and STIs.

HPV The most common STI in the United States is Human Papillomavirus (HPV), with most sexually active adults being infected during their lifetime. The CDC reports that there are about 14 million infections of HPV each year. HPV can be spread during oral or genital sex. In addition, adult toys can allow for transmission if not cleaned properly. It is important for women to have a PAP smear regularly to screen for early signs of cervical cancer and HPV. People who engage in anal sex should ask their doctor about having an anal PAP smear. Vaccines are available to prevent certain strains of HPV, so you can talk about these with your medical provide. CHLAMYDIA

5/21/13

Chlamydia is the second most common STI, with about 1.5 million infections a year. Men and women between the ages of 15-24 account for most of the infections. Symptoms include discharge and pain with urination or sexual activity; most women, however, will not show any symptoms. A simple urine test can be performed to check for this infection. As an alternative, there is traditional testing with a swab. Early treatment with an antibiotic cures the infection, but your sexual partners need to be tested and treated as well to prevent you from being infected again.

In the time it takes for you to read this article, a person in the United States will be infected with HIV.

Know yourself and respect yourself by getting tested. Be proactive about preventing HIV and STIs, so you can keep living healthy! MORE ON PG. 10: LEARN ABOUT LIGALY AND THE CENTER’S HIV/STI SERVICES.

SYPHILIS While syphilis is fairly uncommon in the general population, the rates of infection have been rising rapidly in gay and bisexual men. The CDC has found that 72 percent of all new syphilis infections are in men who have sex with men, which is a shift from the 1990s when it was typically a disease in the heterosexual population. Without treatment, syphilis is often life threatening. If you are or had been sexually active, you should ask your doctor to test you for syphilis. Infection with syphilis increases your risk of acquiring HIV by up to five times. Using a condom correctly each time you have sex and/ or practicing mutual monogamy with an uninfected partner reduces your risk of getting syphilis.

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HEPATITIS Hepatitis is a viral disease that affects the liver and can cause severe disease, including liver failure and cancer. The CDC estimates about five percent of people in the United States will be infected with a form of hepatitis. Men who have sex with men are 10 times more likely to be infected with Hepatitis A or B than heterosexual men. The good news is that there are effective vaccines for both Hepatitis A and B, so all gay and bisexual men should make sure to be vaccinated. Hepatitis C does not have an available vaccine. The CDC recommends that all people born between 1945 and 1965 should be tested to check if they were infected. HIV Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) infection is estimated to affect 1.4 million people in the United States, with almost 56 percent of those being in gay and bisexual men. After many years of declining rates of new infections, recent CDC statistics are showing an increase in infections in gay and bisexual men between the ages of 13-24 years old, who accounted for 72 percent of new infections in their age group in 2010. Since the AIDS crisis began in the 1980s, more than 635,000 people have died; each year about 15,000 people die from AIDS. The CDC estimates that one in five gay men are HIV positive and 59 percent may not even know they are infected. Generally, everyone should be tested at least once a year; however testing every three to six months can be done if you engage in higher risk behaviors such as unprotected sex or IV drug use. Early diagnosis will allow your doctor to offer treatment and help decrease spreading this disease. There are many new treatments to prevent and treat HIV, but the first step is to know your status.

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living smart travel

by joey amato

out destination: fort lauderdale Known as one of the country’s foremost GLBT capitals, Fort Lauderdale definitely offers visitors a plethora of dining, entertainment and cultural options, in addition to miles of pristine beaches perfect for those looking to catch some rays while listening to the mesmerizing sounds of the Atlantic. Fort Lauderdale is actually three destinations in one. The first, Fort Lauderdale Beach, is a picturesque ocean-front destination dotted with high rise condominiums and hotels, including The Ritz-Carlton, W, and Hilton. Dozens of beach front restaurants, shops, and attractions line North Atlantic Boulevard, also known as A1A, and are extremely gay-friendly. But the charm of Fort Lauderdale Beach lies just two blocks inland. Those looking to avoid swanky hotel chains in favor of smaller, more personal accommodations should head to one of over a dozen GLBTowned guest houses, most notably, The Grand Resort & Spa. The Grand is the largest gay-owned and operated men’s resort on Fort Lauderdale Beach, offering 33 luxurious guestrooms, two pools, a Jacuzzi, full-service spa, fitness center, and complimentary breakfast. Stay in one of the suites, which contain a separate living space and full kitchen, perfect for those looking to spend a few extra days of fun in the sun. Guests can enjoy the resort’s famous Sundown Happy Hour every Thursday through Saturday before heading to one of the beach’s fine restaurants including Steak 954, 3030 Ocean, or Coconuts, where diners can savor delicious American cuisine including New England Lobster Rolls, Coconut Shrimp, or the fresh catch-of-the-day while

watching the sunset over downtown. Enjoy some after dinner libations at any one of the many venues on Las Olas Boulevard, including Yolo or Wilton Manors, South Florida’s gay mecca. Just a few miles from Fort Lauderdale beach, Wilton Manors is an epicenter of gay culture. Dozens of gay-owned shops, restaurants, bars, and clubs are clustered along Wilton Drive, making the area a onestop destination for the GLBT traveler and a great place to mingle. Sports enthusiasts should head to Sidelines, a friendly neighborhood sports bar offering daily drink specials and a great mix of men and women alike. Beer aficionados should visit Wilton’s Bier Garden, a fairly new establishment offering 16 beers on tap and over 100 different bottled beers imported from countries around the world. Dance the night away at The Manor Complex, a huge mega club in the heart of Wilton Manors which combines a restaurant, ultra lounge, and nightclub all into one upscale experience. Check out The Manor’s website for a list of daily events which include special appearances by world-renowned DJs and numerous live performances throughout the year. After a fun evening of partying, culture buffs should visit the Fort Lauderdale Museum of Art, located in downtown Fort Lauderdale. The museum is home to a permanent collection of more than 6,000 works, including significant pieces by the artists of the northern European CoBrA movement and contemporary Cuban artists. The museum also offers numerous unique exhibitions which included the recent Primordial: Paintings and Glass Sculptures by Isabel De Obaldía.

Feeling romantic? Watch the sunset with your partner at the Hollywood Beach.

A few blocks away is the Museum of Discovery and Science consisting of 85,000 square feet of interior space, a 300-seat AutoNation IMAX Theater, and an open-air grand atrium. The Museum features dynamic interactive exhibits in the natural and physical sciences and a large array of programs to serve diverse audiences. If you’d prefer to spend a more casual afternoon with friends, head to Rosie’s Bar & Grill, and enjoy some of the best burgers, sandwiches, and salads in Fort Lauderdale. I suggest trying the She BOP Wrap consisting of grilled chicken, bacon, fresh avocado, cheddar cheese, and herb mayo rolled into a tomato-basil tortilla with a side of homemade sweet-potato fries.

Rent a boat and sail along the Atlantic for a fun excursion.

While in town, be sure to stop by the Stonewall National Museum & Archives, an extraordinary collection of cultural and historical artifacts celebrating the GLBT community. The museum is home to move than 21,000 books, 19 traveling exhibits, and over 7,000 artifacts including the gavel used to end “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Fort Lauderdale is also home to many GLBT charitable organizations including SunServe, Out of the Closet, and Broward House, South Florida’s oldest and largest HIV/AIDS community service organization. If your vision of a vacation includes the hottest go-go boys in South Florida, then visit Johnny’s Fort Lauderdale, one of three bars in town featuring nightly go-go dancing. The staff and dancers at Johnny’s are always welcoming, so if this is your first time visiting, they will make you feel right at home.

Enjoy the beautiful beach breeze with your children by lounging in the pool or on the sand of the Atlantic Hotel. Go to GLBT-friendly Fort Lauderdale to bask in the sun and catch some clear blue waves.

OUT Destinations is part of OUTreach Public Relations, a company specializing in LGBT marketing. Founded by Joey Amato, OUTreach PR has quickly become one of the most soughtafter companies for firms looking to target the ever-growing and affluent LGBT consumer. For more information, please visit outreachpublicrelations.com.

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living smart support characters reflecting the community in a respectful fashion, a mainstream video game featuring a strong, exclusively gay or lesbian lead is not exactly in demand from a majority of gamers. The same goes for games targeted for a GLBT audience. For this demographic, video games have concentrated on a different route to inclusion, one exclusive to the medium: active audience participation. In the last decade, role-playing and simulation games (like The Sims, allowing same-sex couples in 2001 and marriage in 2009) have taken advantage of giving players more say in the kind of protagonist they play as. As video games become more complex and technologically capable, players are able to deviate from the token image of the hero through their choices. This includes picking their protagonist’s gender, appearance, and responses in conversations with other characters—they can even strike up a romance. Some characters are open only to leads of the opposite sex, others to the same-sex, and some are available to both.

CAN YOU SEE ME? As public acceptance of the GLBT community grows, even the most hetero-normative, hyper-masculine cultures find ways to welcome us into their folds. It’s one of the reasons the stories of figures like Orlando Cruz and Jason Collins become so inspiring. And just like professional sports, other industries formerly dominated by straight men are finding ways to make the GLBT community feel accepted. Among these is the world of video games.

All of these player choices bear little consequence in their games. A lesbian or gay protagonist in a role-playing game is not any less successful saving the day than the straight, male version. And very rarely do characters respond to a lesbian hero differently compared to a straight male one. In these games, no player has to start a romance with a particular gamer. That is what makes such games so receptive to GLBT audiences. The choices are merely for the player’s immersion into the game world: to build the kind of character they can connect with.

Games that defied this trend started to appear in the late 1980s, as female gamers were given more consideration as a demographic. Game developers started producing more action-based titles with strong female leads, either alone (Metroid, in 1986) or as part of a team alongside

Social online games (also called massively multiplayer online games or MMOs) are an entirely different story. GLBT inclusion in these kinds of games are even less about what the game itself provides, and more about what the players bring into it. Such games emphasize group play and interaction over following a storyline. Such games are also more gender-neutral, with no token protagonist persona to support or defy.

As video games become more complex and technologically capable, players are able to deviate from the token image of the straight male hero. This includes picking their protagonist’s gender, appearance– and sexual orientation.

In its relatively short history (Pong was released in 1972), video games struggle to be recognized as part of mainstream culture, on par with films and television. But like its contemporaries, video game developers have demonstrated, through the game titles they release, who reigns in the industry. These games have reflected what developers thought the majority audience wanted to see: powerful male protagonists succeeding, from sports games to shooters. Girls in games alternated between specific, overly feminized titles, and portrayals in “boys games” as damsels in distress or eye candy. Issues include strict gender-conforming character roles, unrealistic body types, and ridiculous interpretations of the concept of “clothing” for women (Duke Nukem is an example). Any reflection of gay identity was either ignored outright or insinuated using characters with stereotypical homophobic mannerisms. Unfortunately, several fighting games relied on the latter.

Robert Nicoletti

Chief Human Resources Officer

a male lead (Resident Evil in 1996). And recurring female characters in standing franchises, like Princess Zelda in the popular Legend of Zelda series (who is added ninja and pirate to her résumé in later titles), become more than just the prize at the game’s end. They become more nuanced with each title, developing as self-sustaining characters in their own right. This particular shift has not been as prevalent regarding GLBT identities. While games are featuring more secondary or

Bullying and homophobic behavior still occurs, and game administrators and developers are still learning how to respond to this. They do not always get it right: In January of 2006, Blizzard, the developer for the 2004 MMO, World of Warcraft, briefly attempted to ban the advertisement of GLBT-friendly player guilds in an attempt to curb harassment of the guilds’ members; public outcry ended this attempt. Now, more than 30 GLBT-friendly guilds exist for players to spend time together, participating on various servers.

There is still work to be done. Gamers still toss around hateful slurs during matches, characters are still stereotypes, and some games still offer fewer options for gay players than straight ones. Additionally, virtually no portrayals of bisexual or transgender characters exist in popular titles yet. But progress has been made, and quickly. It is through participating in the industry, writing to developers, and supporting games that include GLBT identities, that the GLBT community will see more games that want them to come and play—sooner than realized.

Phone: (631) 385-2451 Fax: (631) 656-7235

Long Island Association for Aids Care, Inc., Since 1986 60 Adams Avenue, Hauppauge, NY 11788 • www.liaac.org Mail, Fax or Email resume to: rnicoletti@liaac.org

Quakers for Equality and Social Justice Conscience Bay Friends Meeting supports and welcomes the GLBTQ community. www.cbquakers.org

For HIV/AIDS Information, Referrals and Assistance, Call the toll-free LIAAC Hotline at 1-877-TO-LIAAC LIAAC is an Equal Opportunity Employer

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living smart

Long Island’s Best Home Equity Line of Credit.

finance

Preparing To Buy A Home Owning a home can provide you with many advantages over time. Among the many benefits you will enjoy are the potential to build equity in your home, a possible mortgage interest deduction (please consult your tax advisor), and more.

home equity line of credit

1.99%

APR* fixed for 2 years

Prime for life, thereafter

The First Steps in the Home-Buying Process Establish a Budget Before you start shopping, you must decide what you are comfortable with as a monthly housing cost. Consider both the up-front and ongoing costs associated with purchasing a home.

Determine Up-Front Costs Down payment, closing costs, legal advice and other costs such as over’s fees to telephone installation, may add up to your up-front costs.

Calculate Ongoing Costs Your housing costs can include the following: • • • • •

Monthly mortgage loan payment (P&I) Homeowners insurance Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI), if applicable Flood Insurance, if applicable Property taxes

Consolidate your credit card debt, renovate your home or pay for college – and more!

Applying For Your Mortgage Most real estate agents require you to be pre-approved for financing prior to showing you homes. A pre-approval gives you a preliminary credit decision, allowing you to confidently negotiate with a seller. Once you are pre-approved, you would then select the type of mortgage that works best for you: •

Fixed-Rate Mortgages: If you want the peace of mind that comes with knowing that your interest rate will never change, you may want to consider a fixed rate mortgage.

Adjustable-Rate Mortgage (ARM): Typically the initial interest rate is lower and will adjust based on the index and the margin assigned to your loan.

Get in on the savings. Apply at lovebethpage.com, your local Bethpage branch or call 800-628-7070.

The Application Process Once your application and the purchase contract have been submitted, qualified individuals will receive their loan approval, along with a commitment letter that stipulates the agreement to lend you a specific amount of money for the purchase of your home. Your file is then forwarded to the closing area and you are one step closer to owning your new home. Be skeptical of lenders who are unwilling to give you a written estimate or those who may be advertising exceptionally low rates. Any offer that sounds too good to be true usually is. 54

Federally insured by NCUA.

*APR = Annual Percentage Rate. Rates and terms accurate as of 06/03/13 and are subject to change without notice. All offers of credit are subject to credit approval; applicants may be offered credit at higher rates and other terms. Loan-to-value restrictions may apply. Hazard insurance is required on all loans secured by real property; flood insurance may also be required. No closing costs on new HELOCs up to $500,000. Closing costs paid by Bethpage must be repaid by the borrower(s) if line is closed within first 36 months. HELOC is a variable rate product with a maximum APR of 18%. The introductory rate is 1.99% APR for members who take an initial draw of $25,000, maintain this balance for one (1) year, and have automatic transfers from a Bethpage checking account for the monthly payment on the account. The rate after the introductory period is prime, currently 3.25%. New HELOCs only. Prime rate as of 06/03/13 = 3.25%.

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5/28/13 9:13 AM


living smart

With the highly anticipated sixth season of HBO’s True Blood approaching rather quickly, fans are curious to see what Alan Ball’s replacement will do to the show. Between werewolves, religious movements, military overtones, and faeries, viewers’ patience is running thin with Ball’s overly saturated themes. Should viewers expect True Blood’s multiple plot-lines to come to a simmer by HBO’s decision to cut two episodes from their standard 12? Either way, there’s no denying a Truebie’s thirst, and here’s three cocktails to celebrate the premiere.

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After Dark INGREDIENTS • 1.5 oz. vodka • 1/2 oz. ginger syrup • 1/2 lemon juice DIRECTIONS Pour 2 oz. Tru Blood over ice and into a highball glass. Shake the rest of the ingredients and layer over the Tru Blood. Will cause a two-tone effect. Garnish with a slice of ginger and a slice of blood orange.

Team Billith INGREDIENTS • 1.5 oz. orange vodka • 1/2 oz. lime juice • 3 oz. ginger beer • 3 oz. Tru Blood DIRECTIONS Pour all ingredients into a highball glass with ice; garnish with an orange wedge. Faerie’s Nectar INGREDIENTS • 1.5 oz. pink grapefruit vodka • 3 oz. grapefruit juice DIRECTIONS Shake with ice and strain over cubed ice into a glass. Top with 3 oz of Tru Blood. Garnish with a slice of grapefruit.

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points of view op-ed

by reverend Irene Monroe

Jason Collins The Great Black Hope

Collins, who deliberately wore the jersey number “98” to honor slain gay student Matthew Shepard during the 2012 - 13 NBA season, is a 7’ 0” center for the Washington Wizards, a former Boston Celtics, and is also African American. Closeted for all of his professional playing life, until now, Collins told Sports Illustrated why he finally came out.

“I realized I needed to go public when Joe Kennedy, my old roommate at Stanford and now a Massachusetts congressman, told me he had just marched in Boston’s 2012 Gay Pride Parade. I’m seldom jealous of others, but hearing what Joe had done filled me with envy....I want to do the right thing and not hide anymore.” GLBT athletes must constantly monitor how they are being perceived by teammates, coaches, endorsers, and the media in order to avoid suspicion. They are expected to maintain a public silence and decorum so that their identity does not tarnish the rest of the team. In what will now hopefully become the last closet where GLBT people hide their sexual orientation, thanks to Collins, the sports world’s hyper-masculine and testosterone-driven milieu might actually begin to loosen its homophobic hold, especially among black athletes.

“I’m really proud of Jason. He still can play. He’ll be active in our league, I hope, and we can get by this—get past this. I think it would be terrific for the league. More than anything, it would just be terrific for mankind, my gosh.” The statement, “I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m

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The African-American community, let alone the sports world, desperately needed an openly gay, current male professional player.

black. And I’m gay,” by Collins in the May issue of Sports Illustrated is as momentous as when renown comedienne Ellen DeGeneres’ quote “Yep, I’m Gay,” appeared on the cover of the April 1997 issue of Time Magazine. Although the time span between the two statements is 16 years, and many more advances and civil rights have

When Ellen so boldly came out in 1997, she received a torrent of praises from the GLBT community and allies. But “her career puttered and stalled out for the three years following her coming out,” and her impact did little for both the world of sports and for many straight and GLBT people in the African American community in understanding the deleterious effects of homophobia. In fact, it is still being argued that many African American communities consider homosexuality as a “white disease” and not a civil rights issue.

The statement, “I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay,” by Collins on the May issue of Sports Illustrated is as momentous as when Ellen DeGeneres’ quote “Yep, I’m Gay,” appeared on the cover of the April 1997 issue of Time Magazine.

Doc Rivers, an African American coach of the Boston Celtics, is revered among black athletes. Having coached Collins for 32 games before Collins was traded to the Washington Wizards, Rivers’ remarks help spread a message of acceptance.

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The professional sports world has been waiting for a Jason Collins moment—a gay athlete currently playing in a major league to come out publicly. What you may not know is that the subtext is that it was hoped the moment would star an African-American male.

been afforded to us, GLBT Americans now see they’re still part of a nation grappling with the issue. While both Collins and DeGeneres give a public face and personal testimonies of their struggle of being closeted about their sexual orientation, their messages reach and resonates within only certain pockets of the American population and not others. And within those pockets of the American populace, the reprisal and applause they also receive for coming out still fracture along several fault lines, with profession being one of them.

In the sports world, most women athletes, even today, are assumed to either be lesbians and/or unfeminine. For example, in many African American communities, Olympic basketball player Lisa Leslie was perceived to be a “girly-girly” and therefore, not a lesbian, but certainly a weak and nonaggressive player. Tennis superstars, the William Sisters are aggressive players but too muscular, especially Serena, to be seen as feminine.

LBT women in professional sports have come out of the closet while playing, at least, two decades before the “Jason Collins watershed moment.” While race plays a factor in the African American community coming to grips with its homophobia, especially in the world of sports, so, too, does gender. Just last month, Brittney Griner, also an African American like Collins, is a 6-foot-8, three-time AllAmerica center and was the number-one pick in the WNBA draft, announced she was a lesbian. It wasn’t considered a big news story. In 1997, a pregnant Sheryl Swoopes—three-time

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Olympic gold medalist and threetime MVP of the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA)— promoting a heterosexual face for the WNBA was the cover-girl for the premiere issue of Sports Illustrated Women. At the time, Swoopes was married to her male high school sweetheart. That was considered a big news story. But so too in 2005, when Swoopes came out as a lesbian, becoming the second in the WNBA, and endorsed the lesbian travel company Olivia. She was at the time partnered with Alisa Scott, an assistant coach for the Houston Comets that Sheryl played for from 1997 to 2007. And in 2011, it was another big news story because she was with a male. To incurable homophobes, especially of the fundamentalist Christian variety type, who peddle their “nurture vs. nature” rhetoric that homosexuality is curable with reparative therapies, they saw Swoopes as the prodigal daughter who had finally found her way home to Jesus. Many heterosexual African American brothers, such as Chris Unclesho, the man Swoopes was then engaged to marry, was the “Man: A bona fide ‘dyke whisperer’” who had turned Swoopes out to the sexual joys of what it is to be with a man. But long before Swoopes, Griner, and Collins, both tennis greats Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova came out in 1981. Martina was publicly taunted for not only being a lesbian but for also not bringing femininity and beauty to her game. Her muscular physique and supposedly masculine appearance killed not only sponsor endorsements but also attempted to kill her spirit in playing the game. With the sports world celebrating Collins’ news, Navratilova has joined in voicing her joy in an op-ed she wrote: “Now that Jason Collins has come out, he is the proverbial game-changer. One of the last bastions of homophobia has been challenged. How many LGBT kids, once closeted, are now more likely to pursue a team sport and won’t be scared away by a straight culture? Collins has led the way to freedom. Yes, freedom—because that closet is completely and utterly suffocating. It’s only when you come out that you can breathe properly.” Navratilova is correct in stating that Collins is a “game-changer,” because he stands on all the GLBT shoulders in sports before him. Truth be told, Collins is not the first professional gay or black athlete to come out. He’s not even the first professional athlete to come out while playing. But in a sports world that has become overwhelmingly shaped by African American male players and masculinity, Collins’ coming out celebration has everything to do with timing, gender, race and many more straight brothers embracing their gay brethren.

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trans-missions

by gwen smith

points of view

In Unity

June is here, and with it Pride Month. Time to break out the rainbow flags and pink triangles, find the local parade and street festival, and whoop it up. It’s the time of year for celebrating who and what we are, for living without shame, and guilt, and fear. It’s a time to feel kinship, joy, and inclusion. Meanwhile, Pride itself seems to be changing. While it was once an event by the community and for the community, a radical reminder of the Stonewall riot and something clearly designed to be in the face of those not welcoming the GLBT community, it isn’t so much anymore. Corporations long since jumped on the bandwagon, and see Pride as an excuse to market to our community.

transgender today were out in the streets with those whom we’d categorize as drag queens now. Then was a time when we might stand arm in arm with the larger community as a unified whole, understanding that there was great strength in numbers. The Pride of today is not the same as today. Many decades separate the two, and miles of bad road between the factions that make up the GLBT community. We spend a lot of time looking for the slights, and at the same time, we all too often find them. Maybe, in the spirit of Stonewall, in this time before Pride becomes an excuse for the mainstream community to wear a rainbow and grab a cheap brew in the park, we should

Even more shocking, perhaps, to those who took to the streets in the early 1970s is seeing Pride shift into the Gay St. Patrick’s Day or Cinco de Mayo. Pride seems doomed to one day be yet another lightly themed beer bash, offering only lip service to its foundation while providing another excuse for hordes of straight, non-transgender folks to party. I’m not altogether convinced, by the way, that this isn’t a bad thing. Yet as this goes on, I feel it important to note that transgender people still often find themselves on the outside of most pride events.

We must remember that at the forefront of the Stonewall Riots were transwomen, fighting alongside gay men, lesbians, and other members of a widely diverse community.

Much like the early 1970s, we see an ongoing rift between feminists and transwomen. The Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival remains trans unfriendly at best, and so-called Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists troll the Internet and elsewhere. Beyond this we see an overall disparity between the world of the larger GLBT movement and the transgender community, perhaps most obviously expressed in the focus on marriage rights while transgender people themselves face staggering issues with homicide, suicide, and economic disparity. I often feel that we missed one of the most important lessons from the Stonewall Rebellion that led to this whole movement. At the forefront of that fight were transwomen, fighting alongside gay men, lesbians, and other members of a widely diverse community. Without Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson, and without such a varied community, we may never have made it past that night.

Transgender people were there that night in June of 1969. We were at Compton’s Cafeteria in San Francisco in 1966. We were there in 1972 when Christopher St. Pride set up a “no drag” policy. We were there, showing support during the height of the AIDS crises in the 1980s. We were there— though usually begging to be included—in the early 1990s. We’re here. We always have been. The movement of the 1970s was at both times more serious than it is today, and far less serious. In a time when going to a Pride parade and being visible could cost a person everything, the community wore their post-hippie best. It was the time of the psychedelic drags known as the Cockettes. It was the decade that brought forth the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. It was a time of glitter, feathers, and the personal vas very much political—and provocative. This was a time when those whom we might call

look at Pride as a time to once again come together. Beyond Pride, there is so much we can accomplish together. We need to work on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) and other legislation that can aid us all. We need to look at homelessness, poverty, homicide, suicide, and other ills that can affect any one of us, no matter what letter in the GLBT acronym we may identify with. Yes, we can also look at marriage, too. Transgender people seem to be disproportionately target in those states with DOMA type laws, and have faced the erosion of rights from what were legal marriages. Let’s look at what our forbearers did back in 1969, and try to imagine a time when we could be one people: a convergence of people wanting to live their lives without hatred, prejudice, and discrimination. A people who not only wanted equality, but even more: a new world where we could truly be ourselves. Let’s take this notion of community and make it mean something, let’s go beyond the acronyms and learn to stand together—if only for one time in June. Let’s start something, together. About the Author

Gwen Smith believes in strength in numbers. Find more at gwensmith.com.

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point of view musings

by andy stern

“Get Them While They’re Young, Evita, Get Them While They’re Young.” It was Thanksgiving, 2003. Aside from a somewhat undercooked turkey, the family was managing quite nicely—me and my partner, my two older brothers, sister-in-law, niece and nephew—pleasant if less than gripping conversation. Somewhere around dessert, my sister-in-law announced the big family news: They had just enrolled my eightyear-old nephew into the Boy Scouts. Interestingly, it would be a decade before all three brothers would be in the same room together again. For me, the issue of homophobia within the Boy Scouts is deeply personal. I have never been a Boy Scout. Never had the slightest inkling or interest in becoming a Boy Scout. The closest I’ve ever come is my adoration for Samoa Girl Scout Cookies (and we all know the Girl Scouts rock, yet another example of female superiority). But the very notion that the nephew whom I loved could be indoctrinated into a belief system that teaches it is acceptable (in fact, required) to discriminate or, even worse, be taught to stay in the closet if he happened to discover he was gay?

To my mind, this decision means more gay teens and pre-teens will actually join the Boy Scouts, which means more gay teens and pre-teens will be placed directly in harm’s way by this homophobic quagmire of an organization.

On April 19th, the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) announced a proposal that would end the ban on openly gay scouts but continue to exclude gay adults as scout leaders. Their twisted version of compromise, I suppose. They’re great at tying things into knots. The Inclusive Scouting Network said in its statement, “We believe the proposed policy is a small step forward, but does not go nearly far enough in addressing issues of discrimination against gay Boy Scout members and leaders.” Evan Wolfson, who represented ousted gay Eagle Scout James Dale all the way to the Supreme Court, stated, “The move by the Boy Scouts of America to ban anti-gay discrimination against youth members, but still discriminate against members and leaders who grow up, is a sign of the momentum in society and a step in the right direction, but still sends a discriminatory message that harms kids. The right answer is to ban discrimination, period.” Bless them for all their fine work, and they are far more steeped in this battle than I, but that allows me to say what they probably feel they cannot: 58

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This is cockamamie folderol. A step in the right direction? Seriously? It is indeed possible to take one small step forward and one giant leap backward simultaneously, and at this the Boy Scouts score a merit badge. I well respect the well-weathered concept of incremental change, but not when it is so morally unsound, convoluted in its logic and dangerous at its core. To my mind, this decision means more gay teens and pre-teens will actually join the Boy Scouts, which means more gay teens and pre-teens will be placed directly in harm’s way by this homophobic quagmire of an organization. This proposal is tantamount to informing our kids, insidiously so, that they will be deemed predators and pedophiles when they become adults. It demonstrates not only the organization’s profound institutional homophobia but a staggering lack of conceptual understanding about basic child and adolescent psychology as well. And they think we’re scary, twisted and perverse? Physician, heal thyself. Around the same time that our community started falling all over ourselves to spin control some modicum of “success,” the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the church that sponsors the largest number of scouting troops) announced

that it was satisfied with the new proposal, stating it “constructively addresses” the issue. Does it really take anything more than the Mormon’s (remember, they’re the ones who financed the battle for Prop 8 in California) support of something GLBT-related to know it must be intrinsically counterproductive and gay unpositive on its face? Should this proposal pass the 1400 members representing the Boy Scouts National Council (the vote will be taken shortly after this issue goes to press) it is deserving of absolute contempt without a shred of credit or positivity from our community, instead of the vaguely frustrated but ultimately optimistic rhetoric the vote will surely engender.

Later that Thanksgiving night, my brother apologized profusely, told us he and my sister-in-law had made a huge mistake in judgment, and would be removing my nephew from the Boy Scouts. And so ended a career in the Scouts literally before it even began. I know they took some flack from folks in their community for doing it, too. Sometimes, true bravery is acknowledging the error. The next time I would be in the same room with both of my brothers again was at this year’s Equality Awards Gala, along with my sister-in-law, my niece and my nephew, who is no worse for wear for having missed out on some camping trips, jamborees, and insect study. Instead he took up soccer, and will be going to college in the fall on a soccer scholarship. At this same event, Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi stopped the show when she delivered the line, “Tolerant is a word that I don’t like to tolerate because it’s condescending.” Could the BSA possibly be any more condescending if they tried? And could we as a community be any more self-prostrating than to accept such repackaged homophobia as any kind of victory? It is our responsibility to ensure the health and wellbeing of our youth. Our kids deserve so much better.

About the Author Andy Stern has been a pro-choice and gay rights activist for more than two decades and is the past Board President of Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth.

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Issue 7, Volume 1: June 2013, LI Pride Guide