Why Kids Cheat Continued From Page 60
The Defense Lawyer from channel K-BLAM, the blame channel, skillfully turns your child’s every wrongdoing into blaming others. His strong voice repeats, “It’s their fault.” Your youngster learns to accuse others for his misconduct. The Inner Guide, airing on channel K-TRUE, directs your child toward truth and virtue. He doesn’t shout but your child can hear if he quiets himself and listens. Now suppose your student is taking an exam. What would the channels inside his head be broadcasting? The Critical Judge “You’re stupid, weak, and lazy. You’ve never been a good student. Studying is too hard for you. Everybody cheats. Besides, you like video games. They’re easy and a lot more fun.”
What will he do? Will he study? Will he play video games instead? Will he whine, “I can’t? It’s too hard.” How your boy listens to his Critical Judge will influence his decision. The Defense Lawyer “You wouldn’t have to cheat if your teacher was fair. Her tricky questions purposely mislead you. Only the brainy kids get them right. Why don’t you look at Jack’s paper or use your iphone? Besides, you didn’t have time to study last night because your dad made you go to the basketball game.” Will your boy justify cheating? If your son listens to his Defense Lawyer, will he take his advice? The Inner Guide “It’s true you didn’t study and you might not pass this exam, but just do the best you can.
You’ll feel better because you won’t have to lie to yourself or justify cheating. You can ask your teacher to give you work for extra credit. You’re a smart kid. Next time, study for your test.” Will your child quiet his critical judge or his defense lawyer? Or will he give in to their powerful messages? How can you promote honesty and the voice of his inner guide? Parenting Tips for Raising Honest Kids: 1. Start promoting positive messages about honesty when your child is young. Have a family meeting for encouraging members to create mottoes about honesty. Post a new saying on the refrigerator each week. Use a small marble jar. Each time someone says the motto put a marble in the jar. When the jar is full of marbles, play a family game together. Here are some samples mottoes: a. Be true to yourself. b. Be brave. Be honest. c. You won’t regret being honest. d. Cheating injures the cheater. e. No one trusts a cheater. 2. Teach your child to listen to his inner guide (conscience) as a best friend and follow its voice. His inner guide can be a beloved pet, a wise person, his loving heart, even a cartoon character. It’s up to him. Discuss your youngster’s inner guide with him. Tell him to close his eyes and imagine what his guide looks like. Ask, “What do you like about him?” Urge your boy to take a few minutes now and every evening before he falls asleep to connect with his inner guide. 3. Rather than asking about a test grade say, “How did you feel about the test?” The goal is to avoid making top grades so