L i t t l e M i s s L o bo t o m y â€™s
i s s ue #5
R e l e a s e d 4 . 3 . 18
A Letter from the Editor Hello, This zine is passion project. Thank you for taking a look. Ruth Currently, the major Little Miss Lobotomy focus is bringing a short film to life. We’re at the Fundraising part of it – find out more about it on patreon! www.patreon.com/littlemisslobotomy
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About the Zine
Book of the Month
Comic of the Month
Story of the Yeard Etiquette
Magic & Laughs
Little Miss Lobotomy’s Editor-in-Chief: Ruth Noemi Freelance Writers: Mr.S Trevor Andersen
For a chance to win the complete 3rd season of Fear the Walking Dead, become a patron on Patreon. Winner will be drawn May 3rd,2018.
About the Magazine The origin of the name: My partner’s last name is “Lobato.” Back when MYSPACE was big, he used the tag “Lobotomy,” making him Mr. Lobotomy. I, in recent years, took to using his old user moniker – it was appropriate. I wanted to change the way that people see things – I still want this. The name is apt. Why are your cards silvery? Have you heard the phrase “Not all that glitters is gold.”? It means that not everything that looks valuable is valuable. Well, not everything that isn’t gold is invaluable. Silver, much like gold, is valuable. Sometimes a shiny glass bead can be a treasure, for example. Also, I prefer silver to gold. Who does your graphics? I do. Can we hang out? Sure. Follow the calendar on my website to attend events with me. Keep an eye out for standup comedy ticket sales. What does this magazine contain? L.M.L.’s contains more writing & less photos than most popular publications. You’ll likely not find news pieces here, who knows, I might change my mind. There are plenty of those though, aren’t there? I think The Daily Show with Trevor Noah & Last Week Tonight with John Oliver are two great examples of good news sources (though neither is done in print). How accurate is the information in this thing? Everything is fact checked. Mind you, just about everything is filtered through a lens skewed by how I or my team see the world. Why are you writing about these things? I think they are neat, so they are worthwhile. Mind you, this is not because I think highly of myself, but because a lot of things hold no interest for me. If I find it interesting, I am sure other people will too – being part of fandoms has taught me this. Who is your audience? I know there are people out there who are like me. This is for them. I know there are even more people out there that are not like me than those who are like me. This is for them as well. What does that mean? Not everyone has the chance to go out and explore the city or expand on what they know, so why not have interesting things brought to their attention – from the comfort of their own choosing. Just because you can’t attend something or haven’t heard about something, doesn’t mean you don’t want to read about it. How do I help the magazine keep going? Go to www.patreon.com/littlemisslobotmy , then click the "become a patron" button & Patreon will help you get set up (if you are not yet a patron). I want more than some writing; will you make videos? I’d love to take you along on my little adventures. If you don’t mind low resolution stuff, check out my Instagram. To bring you better quality stuff, I’ll need to save up some money. Your patience would be appreciated, I’m working on it for you. Can I help speed up the video process? I am working on saving up to make a film for ya (with a script and everything!). You can read more about it on Patreon.
de f i ne . hum a n â€œI am but one voice in a crowded hall full of people trying to say their piece.â€? - Jared Eakin
An interlude with Jared Eakin & Ruth.
define.human is an American Industrial, Noise, and Witch House musician who resides in Los Angeles, California.
R. What inspires you? J. The theory of sound studies scholars like Jonathan Sterne, Joanna Demers, and Michael Bull, as well as the countless music and sound-perception experiments that have occurred in the development of electronic music and the Industrial megagenre-umbrella since the 1970s. R. How do your influences affect how you go about making music? J. I usually get a spark of inspiration for a new track while reading theory, which is reinforced by sometimes even a minor characteristic of whatever music I’m listening to at the time. When I sit down in front of my DAW, I try to create a dialogue between the two and whatever amorphous monstrosity comes out is my music. Haha. R. Do you enjoy being in front of a live crowd? J. My formative years were spent dabbling in many areas of performing arts, so I do enjoy tapping back into that part of my past, yes. Typically, I don’t enjoy the immediate before-andafter. I’m a nervous wreck of a person during those times, but it’s getting better the more frequently I perform. Once I’m on stage and begin my set though, I experience a calm that is both tranquil and directed. R. What is your favorite part about the experience? J. I really like hearing something I wrote boom in club acoustics, but more than that… I don’t rely on lyrics to give my music meaning because most listeners are conditioned to allow linguistic context to dominate sonic context, so when I look up while performing, I enjoy the brief moments I can make eye contact with individual audience members who are feeling a thing from the sound alone. R. If you could talk to your childhood self, what would they think about what you do?
J. I’m… honestly not sure… Haha. I was a pretty spaced out kid. Spaced out enough to not remember many details of my childhood. R. Where do you want to go with your music? J. That’s a tough question, as I consider myself a perpetual student of sound theory, so my focus could take a sharp left depending on whatever information I absorb in the future. Speaking more abstractly, I wouldn’t mind writing music in a society that understands sonic information as well as it does visual. Meanwhile, I’ll keep generating more tracks while navigating the uneasy dichotomy of complexity and accessibility. Wherever that takes me is where I’ll end up. R. Will you take steps to help to help society understand sonic information? J. That's definitely what I'm trying to do with my music. It feels more natural to explore the complex ontology of the hearing sense through music than sitting on the cutting theoretical edge and writing essays. It seems like only a few, Pauline Oliveros and Steve Goodman for instance, are built to do both. Maybe I'll get there in the years to come. R. What steps will you take? Youtube videos-? J. Video somewhat undermines what I'm trying to do, but the information is readily accessible in many of my tracks. QC, for instance, exemplifies ideas in Don Idhe's essay ‘The Auditory Dimension' about sounds relationship to motion and the role of the mute object. Another examples is d.FREQ, which uses both community-generated and my noise to create a hybrid musical soundscape of depression during the early days of Trump's campaign when the Mental Health and Substance Abuse parity clause in the affordable care act was under congressional attack. Along those lines. R. Information that is readily available is not always consumed. How will you make the consumption of this information easy to digest? J. The most direct method I've found is by applying it to recognizable forms like pop-music structures. Hybridizing and
genre-fluidity creates diverse accessibility, but like with most things digital, and I'm sure you experience this as well, I am but one voice in a crowded hall full of people trying to say their piece. Define.human was recently signed to the California based noise label, Crunch Pod and will be releasing their first EP 60hz Hymns in late May of this year.
In the mean time, check out define.human on the following sites:
Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/define-human Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pg/define.human Spotify https://open.spotify.com/artist/1imeDcHqnIkJmI3WPD1MkR
This is a screenshot from the MOCA website. You now have the information you need so you can plan a trip.
The MOCA is the only contemporary museum in Los Angeles. MOCA receives very little, in government funding, and does not have a steady source of cash, leaving it to rely on donors to pay about 80% of the museum’s expenses. A tip for you, if you are uncomfortable when you make loud noise unintentionally in a public place, be sure to wear “quiet” shoes. I want you to enjoy a time out, not to run away before you get to enjoy the place. Check my website to see about joining the free monthly group outing. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE TO YOUR TRANSPORTATION, SNACKS, & PARKING COST.
(Adam Hunter - credit unknown) Do you like comedy & live in Los Angles? You should check out the Dime Bar on Monday & Tuesday nights. There is a Comedy show put on by Adam Hunter every week. The show starts at 8pm (or a little past 8) & goes until 10pm. It’s Los Angeles’s best kept secret. You never know who will be a surprise guest & there is no cover cost. Beware the parking signs. May the empty parking spaces be ever available when you arrive.
Adam has a self-professed mission to make the world a better place through laughter. Check Adam Hunter’s Videos, Schedule and More at: www.adamhunter.com
BOOK OF THE MONTH:
Body to Job Christopher Zeischegg Aka Danny Wylde
“It’s fair to say that you actually get to know Chris through his words. There are no dull moments. Chris, as a ‘main character,’ is incredibly relatable.” ~ reader
Ever wonder about the life of adult film stars? Take a peek behind the lens and delve into Body to Job. You won’t regret it. Body to Job is a collection of short stories based on factual events in the life of Danny Wylde, an adult film star. As an artist who spent eight years working in the adult film industry, Mr. Wylde has a lot of interesting stories to share. Mr. Wylde, also known as Christopher Zeischegg, is a writer, a musician, and a filmmaker. Like him on facebook: www.facebook.com/christopherzeischegg/ Want to purchase his book? Go to this url: https://amzn.to/2qfFzlE
Comic pick of the month Transmetropolitan Written by Warren Ellis Illustrated by Darick Robertson Comic Review by Mr. S The story centers around Spyder Jerusalem, a famed foul mouthed Gonzo Journalist obsessed with "the truth". A majority of the stories center on his escapades & opinions covering the conditions the modern poor person(aka everyone you've ever met, known or loved) lives in. It is a thinly veiled critique of our world. I thought - right off the bat - to assert my aim when reading a comic. Depth. I wanted to find something with meat to bite (so to say) - it needed to have meaning. No resolution, no happy ending, nothing other than what was. Nothing past the facts and perspective. Perspective. Perspective, one should always consider the narrative presented. Transmetropolitanâ€Ś read it. On the back cover: After years of self-imposed exile from a civilization rife with degradation and indecency, cynical journalist Spider Jerusalem is forced to return to a job that he hates and a city that he loathes. Working as an investigative reporter for the newspaper The Word, Spider attacks the injustices of his surreal 21st Century surroundings. Combining black humor, life-threatening situations, and moral ambiguity, this book is the first look into the mind of an outlaw journalist and the world he seeks to destroy.
WARNING: The book contains a cyber punk story about a nationâ€™s politics swirling the drain. 10
Story of the Yeard By Trevor Andersen
When I was 20 years-old I wanted adventure so I followed some advice from my grandfathers and I joined the military. I had grand imaginations of travel and danger, and there was some, but what I wasn’t prepared for was the regular desk job. I wanted to see the world and instead I was working in an office in rural Tennessee. I was disappointed to say the least, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, so I just kept re-enlisting. One day, while I was stationed in Tokyo, Japan, I went to an open mic at the Tokyo Comedy store, an English language comedy club. I wrote some jokes that my friends thought were hilarious and I performed them to complete silence. The friends who had laughed so hard before couldn’t even look me in they eye. It didn’t matter because I finally found what I wanted to do. Goof off for money. I spent years working on material and crafting the best act I could but the military is not a good place for goofing off. I let my contract lapse. After 12 years of desk work with intermittent travel or adventure I was finally a free man. I took the first step of freedom most men who leave the service take, I grew a beard. I’m not talking about a little scruff, I let it grow. In the beard growing circles (yes there’s a whole subculture) I grew what’s known as a “Yeard” or a beard that you let grow for an entire year.
After 12 years of being forced to shave every day I was going to take a year off. There are so many products for bear maintenance and I bought them all. Beard oil, beard balm, mustache wax, special combs and brushes. What started out as an attempt to cut down my grooming time more than doubled it by the six month mark. One morning I woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw a severe case of bed beard. The whiskers had curled up to one side and then back around like a question mark under my chin. I didnâ€™t want to take the time to make it look good so I stopped. My girlfriend noticed immediately and begged me to shave it. I was only 6 months out of what had been a 12 year commitment to the clean cut look and she wanted me to go back? I had been thinking of shaving anyway but I couldnâ€™t let someone who didnâ€™t understand what I was doing dictate that for me. Instead of doing what I wanted to do, I dug my heels in because no body gets to tell me what to do anymore. The beard stayed another 6 months. My girlfriend is cunning and patient however. She never mentioned it again, and even pretended to like it while I worked out my issues through facial hair. I appreciated it. A lot. One time, last month, I kissed her, and my mustache went up her nose. This was pretty standard at this point but it also went up mine. I realized that there were a lot of downsides to having this much facial hair. 12
For example, when you have a beard and you kiss a girl, it kind feels like she’s the one with the beard. That’s never been something I’ve wanted. Eating, drinking and blowing your nose require a full beard wash afterwards. But most irritating to me was that my beard just did whatever the hell it wanted and the styling products I’d purchased all those months ago were practically useless. Any style I’d force my whiskers into would revert before lunch. The final straw was when the adorable puppy my girlfriend bought me decided my beard was a chew toy. I pulled the little monster off of me and declared, “That’s it! I’m shaving!” My girlfriend’s enthusiasm was a little excessive. “Let’s do it right now!” She squealed giddily. “It’s not that simple,” I said. “We have to decide the order of operations.” “You shave it off and I get to see your face again,” she said. “That’s the order of operations.” Like many women, she can’t grow a beard and therefore has no knowledge of how these things work. I did my best to explain to here that If I shave off the sides to do a giant goatee, I can’t do the “founding fathers” style mutton chops. I can’t go for an Amish chinstrap and also do the Charlie Chaplain stache that everyone got mad at me for the last time I did it. She rolled her eyes at me which I’ve come to recognize as a gesture of love and admiration. I stood in front of the mirror with a ten cent Albertson’s bag in the sink and we began to plot out my beard’s destruction. First I took of the mustache. I was going for the Amish look but I accidentally looked more like Muslim apologist Dr. Shabir Ally.
Next I shaved down the middle to go for giant mutton chops but this is where things went off the rails. I don’t know what I would call what I did next but it wasn’t good. It was like a bi-hawk with Joe Dirt sideburns I guess. As the beard came off bit by bit I noticed to my horror that underneath I had become a big fat guy.
I knew I’d gained weight since leaving the navy but the beard had extended my chin making me look thinner. Now I was face to face with my face and it was round and pale like a peeled apple. Somehow my girlfriend is happier. Also I look a little younger, so that’s good. I didn’t shave today, but I went to the gym.
Trevor is a stand-up comedian in Los Angeles. Keep up with him on Instagram: @trevorscottcomey
Etiquette Every issue includes a new tidbit about etiquette. No two months should be the same. Some will be short, some may require multiple pages. Etiquette a set of rules that cover all types of social interactions. What do you mean all type of social interactions? What do you mean rules? Well, for all social interactions, there are social rules. These rules cover the proper way to speak – be it at work, on the phone, in school, or elsewhere – how to behave, how to ask for help, how to shop in a store, and anything else that requires you to interact with anyone or anything. In other words, if there is a situation you can think of, there is a set way to behave that is construed as socially correct. Etiquette : noun : et·i·quette pronounced: \ ˈe-ti-kət , -ˌket \ Definition: The conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life. (Miriam Webster Dictionary) Example: It is rude to look over the shoulder of a person who is either reading or writing, but it is done every day. Synonyms: manner, form, mores, proprieties
Ever wonder what to do if you are caught in a riot? Think carefully – there are more of them than there are of you. DO NOT try to reason with them. Blend. Blend like your life depends on it. Walk in the same direction of the crowd at an angle (so long as you know they are not headed towards a bridge or a cliff or somewhere equally high up. DO your best to remain 15
calm. If you can get inside of a safe building, do. DO NOT try to force yourself into anywhere that has been barricaded. If you are injured, use your clothing to take care of free-flowing blood. Seek medical attention as soon as you are able to. It is better to walk around in your underwear than to bleed out. What if the air is not clear? Use your shirt, hat, jacket, shorts, or bra as a nose and mouth cover. What if you are in your car? Do not stop, unless traffic is at a complete stand still. Keep your doors locked and your windows up. Remain vigilant. Be prepared to make a break for it if your windows are broken and you are unable to move forward. Continue to go forward, slowly, if there are no immovable objects in your way. People are more inclined to move than a brick building. What about safety if I have to bail on my car? Try to keep a go bag in your car along with a road side emergency kit. What if we get separated? Have you watched War of the Worlds? Do that. See the end that seem surreal? Yeah, that is what you want to do. Agree on somewhere to meet up and get there. Arrive. The point is to arrive. If youâ€™re not in one piece, so what? You made it. Make it. Just make it. Stay safe. 16
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Hosting free comedy shows every Monday & Tuesday night. * The show starts at 8pm & goes until 10pm. It’s Los Angeles’s best kept secret. You never know who will be a surprise guest. *This is not an open mic. If you are interested in performing, contact Adam Hunter.
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Edited & back up, enjoy!