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We Need To Talk By Carol Taylor-Shim, MSW


olks, we need to talk about

by IPV. Transgender individuals were

who are perpetrators, we are quietly

intimate partner violence

nearly twice as likely to experience

and unintentionally endorsing their



violence. When your friend is calling

someone or knows of someone who

survivors were 2.4 times more likely

his boyfriend everything but a child

has experienced or is experiencing

to experience IPV at work. According

of God, what do you do? When you

intimate partner violence (“IPV”).

to the report, 61% of bisexual women

see your friend grab her girlfriend by



reported being raped or physically

the arm in a way that belies the abuse

someone’s mother, someone’s best

assaulted by a partner in comparison

that is destined to occur again, what

friend, someone’s mentor, someone’s

to 37% of bisexual men. The majority

do you say? When a trans woman of

heart. When it happens, we do the same

of intimate partner violence survivors

color is slapped on the street in broad

things over and over again. We get

were between the ages of 19 and

daylight, do you keep walking? Do

outraged; we get upset; we plan vigils

29. Trans people of color are nearly

you even give her a second thought?

and town halls that never happen. In

3 times more likely to experience

As painful as it is to admit, we are

October, which is National Domestic

IPV. People of color made up 50.2%

failing our community. We choose to

Violence Awareness Month, we pay

of survivors, which speaks to the

be reactive instead of proactive. We

a little more attention to it. But what

intersectionality of LGBTQ identities

choose to turn our heads instead of

happens the rest of year? What are

and race; another area where our

calling people out on their abusive

we doing to prevent ANYONE from

community is tight-lipped. Imagine


experiencing IPV? Why aren’t we, as

how many other people sit in silence,

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

an LGBTQ community, talking about

and sometimes denial, about the IPV

but we must be actively aware every

this? Why are we ok with remaining

they’re experiencing at the hands of

day. Our awareness must transform


someone they love and who claims to

into action. I challenge all of us to be

love them.

active bystanders and intervene when

Every single one of us knows



Maybe it’s because most people don’t know how rampant intimate



October is National

Our silence as a community around

we can. I challenge us as a community

Last fall, the

dating and domestic violence helps

to stop thinking or planning to talk

National Coalition of Anti-Violence

nurture the conditions needed for

about IPV and actually TALK ABOUT

Programs released their 2013 report

IPV to thrive.

The shame, guilt,

IT. I challenge you to hold your



and fear that consume survivors are

friends accountable for their abusive

What they

burdens too heavy for anyone to bear.

actions. People’s lives are at risk and

found should shake us all to our core.

The deafening silence from your

we are sitting idly by as spectators.

According to the study, LGBTQ

own community while you wonder

No more. No more silence. No more

youth, young adults, people of color,

if you will survive the day just adds

shame. No more IPV.

gay men, bisexual individuals, and

to the misery. When we turn a blind

trans women were the most impacted

eye to the actions of our friends

partner violence is.



LGBTQ communities.




Follow me on Twitter @ctshim71


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October 2015 LinQ  

LinQ is the only monthly magazine that focuses on the Kentucky LGBTQ... community. LinQ is published monthly by and for the Pride Community...

October 2015 LinQ  

LinQ is the only monthly magazine that focuses on the Kentucky LGBTQ... community. LinQ is published monthly by and for the Pride Community...