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HUMOR

That’s What I’m Talkin’ About By Helena Handbasket

H

appy March, ya’ll!

and then flee south to Florida

the bears have it right. No, not

Netflix to avoid the commer-

I am thrilled we

or warmer climates for the

my leathered, sexy, butch boys

cials.

are nearing the

winter. Well, suddenly, I’ve

but actual bears. I’ve always

much that we’re waiting for

end of all of this snowy, wintry

reached the place in my life

heard that bears hibernate

the next season now!

weather that has blessed us

where that concept doesn’t

during the winter months

these last few months. Here’s

sound like a bad idea. We

and honey, they have the

“Scandal.” When I watch

hoping Punxsutawney Phil

could all use a break from the

right idea! They are certainly

Carrie Washington, I gener-

misread the signs and March

insufferable cold winters.

a species with above average

ally feel that I may be a

intelligence on this one.

lesbian trapped in the body

We’ve watched so

Confession

time

about

does not bring any freezing

Close your eyes and picture

temperatures or Springtime

the perfect Christmas with

Let’s talk about the right

of a drag queen. Of course,

blizzards. Strangely enough,

me. I’d wake up next to my

way to hibernate. To start,

the President is hot too.

I’ve had the opportunity to

honey on Christmas morning.

a cuddle buddy is a must.

So, maybe I’m suddenly

sit back and take a cold, hard,

We

nice

My honey and I have done

bisexual... just sayin’.

and even colder look at myself

Christmas breakfast together,

plenty of that lately and I’m

I’ve also realized that some

this winter. Let me tell you, I

put on some shorts and flip

not complaining! *wink* But,

of the best television shows are

have learned a lot.

flops, then take our puppy

we’ve become pseudo-hermits

those from the past. I rekin-

It’s a surprise but I’ve decided

child, Mitchell, for a walk

this winter. Thank goodness

dled my fantasy friendships

that I don’t really like winter.

on the beach. We could sing

for Netflix and TV Land for

with “Will and Grace” and my

I’m just not a cold weather

Christmas Carols with the

keeping us entertained.

boys from “Queer as Folk”.

person. I lived in Minnesota

waves of the ocean as our only

Finding the right enter-

Yes, it’s been a long, cold

for just over 4 years and I can

accompaniment. Who says a

tainment is key. Here, in the

winter. Y’all just have to find

assure you that this Kentucky

traditional Christmas must be

comfort of our own home, we

a way to hibernate and do

winter was just as bad as any

cold and covered with snow?

can watch endless amounts

something productive with

of the winters I lived through

Just because of one tired, old

of movies and shows without

your time. Sometimes the

up north. I used to laugh at

song that’s overused? Honey,

the constant interruptions

most productive thing you

people that claimed to be

I’m dreaming of a warm

from people getting up for

can do is to relax, refuel, and

“snow birds”. You know, those

Christmas, not a white one.

popcorn. We are hooked on

revive. And baby, I can tell you it sure feels good.

would

have

a

people that live here during

Something else I’ve learned

the TV show “Scandal” and

the warm weather months

about myself is that I think

we’ve loved watching it on

4

LinQ

Until next month, love ya’ll.

Send comments or suggestions to: helenahandbasketKY@gmail.com

Profile for LinQ by PCSO

LinQ March 2014, Vol. 36, No. 3  

LinQ is the only monthly magazine that focuses on Kentucky LGBT issues. It is published by the Lexington Gay and Lesbian Services Organizati...

LinQ March 2014, Vol. 36, No. 3  

LinQ is the only monthly magazine that focuses on Kentucky LGBT issues. It is published by the Lexington Gay and Lesbian Services Organizati...

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