‘Am I going keep doing this till I’m 80 or am I going to get help?’ Because of insecurity and extreme perfectionism, nothing Daniel* did was ever good enough in his eyes. Eventually, this exhausted him mentally and physically. ‘I’ve always been a perfectionist and insecure. During my exams in high school I started noticing that something was wrong. I had a lot of negative thoughts, like ‘what if I’m the only one who doesn’t pass?’ or ‘what do I do if I have to re-do this?’ I was afraid of disappointing myself and the people around me. After my final exams, I couldn’t get out of bed. I was completely wiped out. My back hurt so much from all that non-stop studying that I could hardly walk. Ultima-
tely, I had to go to a physical therapist and I needed a lot of bed rest. When I started my current programme, I ran into the same problem. In the first few weeks, all I wanted to do was study, no matter where I was. I would re-read everything in the train on the way to school and even when I was cooking I’d have a book in my hand. I was constantly fixated on school. At night, I couldn’t sleep because I felt like I wasn’t going to make it and because of this feeling, I often waited until the last possible minute to do my assignments. My mother works in healthcare and she recognised the classic fear of failure
a long time, because the blood carries more oxygen to the body instead of the brain. Normally, the effect wears off quickly, but for people who suffer from fear of failure, the fight or flight reaction is stronger and lasts longer. You remain alert for longer periods and the tension doesn’t stop, which can wear you out, emotionally and physically.
symptoms in me. I once went through two days with only one hour of sleep and couldn’t talk about anything but school. When I found myself exhausted after the first exam round, I decided to address this. I thought to myself: ‘Am I going to keep doing this until I’m eighty or am I going to get help?’ After a talk with my supervisor and the school counsellor (decaan) I went to see the school psychologist. I’ve only been working on it for a short while, but I already feel calmer and have more confidence in myself.’
Daniel studies at the Academy of Public Management, Safety and Law.
on exams or assignments,’ says Marieke Lambeek, a school psychologist at THUAS. Fear of social failure refers to the environment and public places. ‘Asking a question in class can be a major obstacle for these students,’ says Lambeek, ‘but so can a nice evening singing karaoke in the pub.’ There is also a type of fear of failure with regard to motor skills and movement. ‘For example,’ says Lambeek, ‘a person’s muscles can feel stiff or numb during an important sporting event.’
Clear your head Lambeek deals with a lot of students suffering from fear of failure, though she notes that ‘to be honest, I rarely see cases that are purely about that one thing. It’s usually a mix of different situations that create stress and can lead to fear of failure.’
Karaoke Fear of failure manifests itself in three different ways. Fear of cognitive failure refers to concerns about brainpower and schoolwork. ‘It’s about performance
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Lambeek lays out some tips for dealing with these fears: ‘Make sure you plan your time effectively and make time to rest. Arrange it so that by time it’s the night before the exam, you don’t need to study anymore. You should also make time to eat right and exercise. If you exercise, you can clear your head and you’ll have less energy to waste on worry. And don’t forget the importance of relaxation. Try some relaxation exercises – you can find a lot of information online – and make sure you talk about your fears with your classmates, teachers, your supervisor or the school counsellor (decaan), so that they know what’s going on. If you can’t beat it on your own, make an appointment with the school psychologist at studentpsycholoog@hhs.nl.’
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