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Fleetwood Jokes & Comments Sent In

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won’t be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both.. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything..

I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge? No, we have carport, and not need one. I mean what are your relations like? All my relations still in Poland . Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and DVD player. Does your wife beat you up? No, I always up before her. Why do you want this divorce? She going to kill me. What makes you think that? I got proof. What kind of proof? She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read English pretty good, and it say: ~~~Polish Remover~~~ ................................................................................

He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR YOU?

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don’t really give a hoot. It’s the tortoise life for me!

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another Lion and says “What’s the food like here?”

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. The lions say: “Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish & Chimps with Mushy Bees”.

4. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

................................................................................ The Polish Divorce And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so. A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

I’m retired. Go around me!

Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of concrete.

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LINK-FY7 Fleetwood Magazine May 2012  

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LINK-FY7 Fleetwood Magazine May 2012  

CHARITY STATUS WRECK TREK 2012 Wyre, Blackpool & Fylde A Fun-Packed Transport Event For All The Family… Join in the Fun. LINK-PRINT OFFE...