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It's Never Too Late To ... Make A Match, Find A Find, Catch A Catch

Special to Life After 50 by Sherri Murphy, CEO and VIP matchmaker at Elite Connections

If You’re Single, make This valentine’s Day The Day You commit To loving Yourself and exploring New Possibilities

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rom the time we are children, we are taught that Valentine’s Day is the most romantic day of the year. School halls decorated with pink and red hearts are filled with children thinking about whether they should reveal their secret crushes. Teenagers use their allowances or after-school job money to make their first purchase for a significant other. And, as adults, we pressure ourselves to live up to the romantic Valentine’s Day hype we’ve been fed since we ourselves were back in grade school, leaving many singles feeling unnecessarily lonely or let down on February 14. As a professional matchmaker, I’m guessing that most people would expect Valentine’s Day to be my favorite holiday. Well, as surprising as it may seem, I find the whole Valentine’s hype to be a bit overrated. I mean, come on, good luck getting a great table at your favorite restaurant. And if you do, the organic intimacy felt on previous dates is now nearly unreachable with all the forced romance and unattainable expectations. Everything is supposed to somehow be more special just due

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to the calendar date. I am a believer that love is organic, that relationships ebb and flow, and romance is often found in small details. Neither love nor romance can be forced to fit a certain date, time or place. As February 14 once again approaches, you may be with that special someone you love and adore. That’s wonderful! Enjoy Valentine’s Day and use it as an opportunity to remind yourself and your partner of what you love and appreciate about one another. In my opinion, that’s what the day is really about: providing reminders of what you, hopefully, share and show to one another on every day of the year.

embrace YourSelf But what if you haven’t met that special someone? Are you doomed to a mid-February day of wallowing in self-pity and Chardonnay? Absolutely not! Being single on Valentine’s Day should, in no way, negatively affect your self-esteem or crush your hopes for loving again. Instead of thinking about what is lacking, shift your focus to all the new and exciting opportunities for romance that may lie ahead. Embrace this day of love as a day to love yourself! As clichéd as that may sound, one cannot truly love another before they learn to love themselves – and that begins with taking positive steps that manifest and create desired change in your own life. Put away your Kleenex and pass on the sappy movies and ice cream and make a plan for how, during 2015, you can improve your quality of life, with or without a partner. Sign up for the class you’ve been interested in, finish that project you’ve been working on, or plan the trip you’ve always wanted to take. Invest in yourself and the things you are passionate about. And don’t be surprised if, by doing this, it attracts the kind of person you have been seeking. Remember, confident people who are engaged in life are happy and dynamic and seek out the same in others.

IT STarTS WITh a NeW Self-PerSPecTIve During my 20-plus years as a professional matchmaker, I have seen far too many singles make the same mistakes over and over again. One such mistake has nothing to do with having the ability to identify qualities they are seeking in others, but rather, in neglecting to do the necessary work on themselves. They want someone who is engaging, stylish, open-minded, fun, curious and interested in life, and yet, they find themselves static and stuck in their own routines. I was once a divorced mother of two children who, after being single for 10 years, was highly skeptical of ever finding love again. I was stuck in a rut – doing the same things over and over again and hoping for different results. I was a busy real estate professional, working six or seven days a week and spending the little free time I had either with my children or playing tennis at my club. Since I preferred not to date people from either work or the club, I found myself alone and losing hope in romance. I knew I had to do something different and, finally, decided to work with a professional matchmaker. I did it because I had come to terms with the fact that my way wasn’t working and if I wanted to be successful in love and move my life in a new direction, I would have to be open to new possibilities. That is what I did and that is how I met Bill, who is now my wonderful husband and forever Valentine. The experience of utilizing the services of a professional matchmaker led me to open my own matchmaking agency, Elite Connections. I knew it worked and I saw a need for singles, like myself, to find a way to meet other serious and commitmentminded people. This is especially true for those over 50, when it can be harder to meet an abundance of quality singles. Many people prefer not to date those they work with and, as they get older, don’t have as many social opportunities to find potential romance. That is why it’s imperative to try new things and be open to new possibilities. This may be uncomfortable in the beginning, but as I can personally attest, the end results are well worth any initial discomfort. To learn more about Elite Connections and how Sherri and her matchmakers can help you take the first step to a different tomorrow, contact Sherri Murphy at (800) 923-4200 or via e-mail at info@eliteconnections.com

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