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Saying 'I do': Black marriage campaign is growing (AP) (Yahoo! News: U.S. News)
part on high black male unemployment, high black male imprisonment and the moderate NEW YORK – For Kenny and performance of black men in L y n e t t e S e y m o u r , l a s t college compared with black weekend's black marriage gala women. was about celebrating their They also note the lack of seven-year marriage. They got p o s i t i v e i m a g e s o f b l a c k to meet other black couples marriage in the media and while spending a romantic several misperceptions about evening together. matrimony — that it's for white "Every time you meet another people, that it's a ball and chain, couple, you learn something that fatherhood and marriage are n e w a b o u t y o u r s e l f a n d not linked. relationships in general," said "They have either seen really Kenny Seymour, a 39-year-old bad examples of what marriage Broadway music director who looks like or no examples at l i v e s i n Q u e e n s . " I t w a s all," said Yolanda "Yanni" beautiful to be around a bunch Brown, 42, a divorced mother of of married people in love." two in Chicago, who is hosting Other black couples will be black marriage events. "They marking the eighth annual Black are saying, 'Why bother? This Marriage Day this weekend, by works for us,' not knowing there attending workshops, black-tie are so many other benefits of dinners and other activities. being married." Some groups have held events Brown says she wishes she had throughout the month, although fought for her marriage. Black Marriage Day, which Joseph Arrington II, a 38-yearcelebrates matrimony in the old black entertainment attorney black community, falls on the in Atlanta, said there was a time fourth Sunday in March. when he wanted to get married, The founder estimates more but his interest has waned. He than 300 celebrations are being hasn't had a girlfriend in 15 held this weekend. The aim is to years. His parents celebrated try to stabilize, if not reverse, their 50th anniversary last year. the trend of non-commitment He said he focuses on his work. within the black community. "It's a combination of two Studies show blacks are less things," he said. "I haven't found likely to marry than other ethnic anyone, and I'm not actively groups and more likely to seeking someone." divorce and bear children out of Gerard Abdul, 45, a who lives wedlock. in East Orange, N.J., and runs Experts blame the disparities in an entertainment company, has Submitted at 3/26/2010 3:30:36 AM
never seen himself as the marrying type. He has nine children by five women. He said he cared about them all, and each wanted to marry him. But he wasn't interested. "Because I'm so independent and on my own, I really didn't see the science of marrying them when I really didn't have to," Abdul said. "I'm a great father," he added. "But I probably would have been a lousy husband." Despite those attitudes toward marriage, there are a handful of campaigns to get blacks to walk down the aisle, from the federal government's African American Healthy Marriage Initiative to Marry Your Baby Daddy Day, with 10 unwed couples with children tying the knot later this year in New York. "You Saved Me," a documentary that explores the marriages of eight black couples, will be screened in more than 20 cities this weekend as part of a Black Marriage Day premiere. "We want people to take away that successful positive (black) marriages do exist," said Lamar Tyler of Waldorf, Md., who produced "You Saved Me" with his wife, Ronnie. The Tylers started their blog "Black and Married With Kids" in 2007 and released "Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage" last year. Don Lee and his wife, Joan
Griffith-Lee, of New York's Staten Island, who have three children, will be watching " Happily Ever After" Friday night and participating in a discussion at a coffeehouse. The couple have been married almost 20 years. Several of their friends are divorced, and Griffith-Lee, 45, who works at Columbia University, said she and her husband often talk about why. "We hope to leave there with a new awareness and maybe some tools that can help as we get older," she said. Black Marriage Day founder Nisa Islam Muhammad is encouraging couples to renew their vows in front of friends and family in honor of Tyler Perry's movie "Why Did I Get Married Too?" which opens April 2. Muhammad points out that many black children come from single-parent households and contends that the media are not helping. There's never been a black "Bachelor" on the popular TV show, and the star of the 2008 movie " 27 Dresses," about a 27-time bridesmaid, was white. "We're going to focus on the positives," said Muhammad, executive director of Wedded Bliss Foundation, which helps people develop healthy relationships and marriages. "We're going to show ourselves and our community that
marriage does matter and we have some fabulous marriages in our community worth celebrating." Those include the marriage of President Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, said Roland Warren, president of the National Fatherhood Initiative in Germantown, Md. He credits the couple with setting a positive example and creating more discussion about the issue. In a way, their marriage is evidence of the importance of marriage in the AfricanAmerican community, he said. Most blacks already think that marriage is a good thing, said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore. But many can't find anyone they think would make a good spouse. But at least Black Marriage Day will get people thinking about marriage, says Tammy Greer Brown, 43, executive director of Celebrating Real Family Life and organizer of the Staten Island event, who said she hopes to spark a discussion about marriage. She said she grew up in a single-parent home and didn't want that for her kids. She has been married for more than 10 years. "My daughter is already talking about getting married," she said. "She wants to be like my SAYING page 29