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MARCH 8, 2018



A GIFT FOR GRIEVERS CREATED BY MATT SCOTT My dad, Moses Edward Scott, passed away on March 8, 2017. In an objective sense, nearly all he did was for others, whether for those closest to him (his family) or for those he barely knew and became fond of, in particular the seniors he would meet through his home healthcare business Right at Home of Essex County, founded in honor of my grandmother Sophia Brown Scott who gave all of herself for her family and community. While I dedicate the creation of this to my lost loved one, I also dedicate the creation of this to the nearly 100 grieving adults who responded to a simple prompt: What is your best piece of advice for someone who is dealing with and navigating losing a loved one? As one person said, no one is an "expert" when it comes to experiencing loss and grief, except those who survive it and can speak from experience. What follows is wisdom they had to share from their experiences.

Among this advice was a bunch of recommended reading on grief. "Option B" by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant "About Grief" by Ron Marasco and Brian Shuff "Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief" by Tom Zuba "It's Ok That You're Not Ok" by Megan DevineÂ


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It's okay - even normal - to not feel okay. It's also okay to feel okay.

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Understand that others sometimes don't understand what you're going through.

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Listen to and find comfort in others who have been through it.

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Every person and relationship is different so every loss and grief process is different.

Don't compare your grief with others. Your grief is yours.

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Don't feel like you need to simply "get over it".

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Be patient. Grief takes time, and there is no set timeline. Grief has no set process or flow. Often times, it's like a rollercoaster.

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Take things one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year at a time. Baby steps.

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Time leads to change and even gradual progress. Change in who you are is normal - not easy, but normal.

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Be open to changing for the better, too.

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Be kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion and self-care.

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Breathe, eat, drink water (drink a lot of water), rest, showever, and exercise.

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Take walks and enjoy nature.

Listen to music you love.

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Visit your doctor and take care of your health and yourself as best you can. Listen to your body.

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Whether for anniversaries or other days grief may be more overwhelming or for regular days that you think may be more difficult, make a plan.

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Talk or write to God or your lost loved one.

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Talk about your lost loved one and share stories, if you can.

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Recognize that sometimes you want to be alone and other times you want to be with others.

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You have the option to get by with a little help from your friends, family, strangers, grief groups - both online and in-person - and therapy. Peer support can mqke a world of difference for some people.

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Know that your grief is not a "burden" on others. You are deserving of others' time, care and listening ears. When people reach out, try to accept it.

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Sometimes, you just need to go to bed without judgment.

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Cry! Some call it a form of "liquid healing".

Ride the wave of grief. Don't always fight it, feel it... though it's okay to take a break from it.

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When you're ready, find ways to memorialize your loved one.

With time, memories can bring happiness, not just tears.

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Try new things! Try to be the person your loved one loved, if you can. Doing something you loved one loved to do can be one way of staying connected with them.

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It's okay to laugh. You might feel guilty when you find joy, but it's okay to be happy again.

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Love those you still have in your life harder.

Be open to finding new loved ones in your life. It's not "replacing" your loved one, just making sure the love you have to offer is put to good use.

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Never give up.

Tell yourself you'll learn to navigate with your grief.

Special Thanks Option B Adrienne F. Ainee B. Alena O. Andi C. Andy M. Ann R. Ann W. Annette M. Barbara J. Beverly R. Carol M. Carol P. Chris O. Christine L. Cindi K. Darlene B. Dawn H. Deb S. Debi P. Deborah W. Delores V. Denise M. Diana T. Donna A. Donna C. Eileen C.

Elizabeth K. Ellen C. Ellen M. Emily G. Emma P. Geraldine P. Grace S. Helena K. Hieu T. Jan K. Janet F. Janice F. Jeffrey Z. Jenifer A. Jessie M. Joi A. Karin M. Kathy B. Kim B. Kimberly B. Kimbra B. Linda L. Liz V. Lori T. Lorrie E. Mandy R. Margo J. Maria B. Marlene G. Martha K.

Mary S. Maryann G. Matt S. Maureen J. Millicint C. Nadine B. Nina B. Patricia P. Philis W. Robert F. Rowan E. Sally B. Samantha M. Sara B. Sherri N. Souniamh D. Stoffelina E. Sue C. Susan S. Tyler D. Ursula W. Velva M. Wendi O. Whitney R. Wilbert S. Will R.

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A Gift For Grievers  

Created with the wisdom of nearly 100 people who've experience loss and offered their own advice for someone experiencing grief or loss.

A Gift For Grievers  

Created with the wisdom of nearly 100 people who've experience loss and offered their own advice for someone experiencing grief or loss.