Page 1

January 2011!"!#$!%&'(



Target Shooting hit the spot!

Andy Burnham MP interview

January 2011

University wins award

. . . w i l l y ou? page 22 page 11

See page 14

page 3

*+,-./01!*&'1$!2345/$6!78996 Gaz Corfield Students living in the Isambard Complex were left homeless just four days before Christmas after electrical works went badly wrong. The power surge, which happened on the 21st December, was caused by the installation of voltage optimisation units. Designed to increase energy efficiency, this equipment was fitted to Brunel’s No.7 substation which supplies 17 halls in the complex. Lucy Oxenham, a resident of Shoreditch Hall, said: “I went to bed but apparently there was a power surge in the night and anything that was plugged in and on, seemed to get fried and not work in the morning. Luckily I had turned everything off so my lights were ok and my laptop untouched. My neighbour had his alarm and all his lights blown out.” The surge is thought to have happened at about 2am. Two halls of residence, Shoreditch and Trevor Slater, were evacuated after the surge whilst six more had their power and heating supplies affected. All of the motionsensitive lights in Shoreditch and Trevor Slater halls were destroyed by the surge, forcing residents to use torches instead. Displaced students were temporarily housed in the University’s Lancaster Suite hotel until necessary repairs were completed. Despite the holiday period, repairs started the day after the power

Shoreditch Hall, one of the two halls of residence evacuated just before Christmas outage and continued throughout the Christmas period. Contractors are expected to complete these works in the next week or two. Students are also expected to allow access to their rooms by maintenance contractors for up to an hour at a time, in



34(5%1,%6%/'7%/78%$4*$97:$1/6;($6 3919%*/6<7=*64%91,671/&7:0(19$(6 )*$4*$19(7855*>/967?(,5*2(

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order to allow inspection and repair of affected plug sockets in their rooms. Paul Thomas, the University’s Chief Operating Officer, said: “We would like to apologise for the inconvenience caused to all those affected and assure them that we are acting swiftly to minimise the


25 25 25 Please Recycle

disruption and ensure that no loss is incurred by any student.” Residents in the affected halls are urged not to use any electrical equipment (such as laptops, lamps and TVs) from their rooms that has not been tested or bears a red label after testing. The University is currently having affected equipment tested by qualified electricians. Some items that failed testing have been impounded by halls management for safety reasons. These items can be collected from the Residences Office, which is located at the front of Concourse Hall. Owners of damaged equipment can also collect forms to claim compensation from the Residences Office. Were you affected by the surge? Contact us on and give us your story!

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

2 Welcome

Foreword#from the#Editor

This#Month... 03







ARTS+&+REVIEWS Music and comedy reviews

Images you submit must not be copyrighted by another individual or organisation. Please don’t just nick pictures off Google Image Search; we can’t use them 99% of the time!


ARTICLE#LENGTH Articles should be no longer than 450 words unless discussed in advance with the Section Editor.

Gaz Corfield - Editor Happy New Year! Welcome to 2011, which, if you judge by the number of ‘2010 was crap, bring on 2011!’ type groups on Facebook, is set to be a far better year than 2010. One of the biggest problems facing mankind at the moment is, how do you pronounce 2011? Personally, I say ‘twenty-eleven’. However, I know people who say “two thousand and eleven” and I find this a bit weird. Keep it as ‘twenty eleven,’ you weirdoes! Anyway, apart from major philosophical questions like that one … something else that caught my eye in this week’s news was the announcement of new dates for protests by the major trades unions. I won’t give the dates here mainly because they seem to be fluid; there was one protest timed for the day that Edward Woollard – the 18-year-old kid who threw a fire extinguisher off the roof of Millbank – was due in court but it was cancelled at 24 hours’ notice. Incidentally, the police still deployed hundreds of officers anyway, so clearly the protests are making people in high places sit up and take notice. It is true that violent protestors turn up to these legitimate protests and try to hijack them for their own ends. I think it’s fair to say that those people who turn up with the express intention of smashing things up have nothing to do with either Brunel or the student cause; the best way of protesting at these things is to stick with the official protest and not go off with fringe groups who may have less honest intentions. In the words of Conor Burns, MP for Bournemouth West: “I don’t think the people setting light to everything utside are representative of most students, unlike the highly articulate ones who came to talk to us.” Let’s live up to that positive, constructive image of ourselves as students and put our education to use. Let’s TALK to the people who make the decisions about our future - as UBS did in early December when a delegation travelled to Vince Cable’s constituency office and spent an hour talking to the man. That, my friends, is how we go about influencing the political process.

Issue 6 out 3rd February


There are no horses this month

Facebook and our political situation

Silly things done in the name of charity

Incorporating Letters to the Editor





Your embarrassing photos from Global

Brunel wins everything it touches

FILE#FORMAT Please send articles as an MS Word compatible document (.doc or .docx format), with a filename containing your article headline, and your name. We do not accept Microsoft Works (.wps) or OpenOffice documents (.odt), or any other proprietary format. IMAGES Images should be .jpg or .png format and attached separately. Please don’t embed images into Word documents: this compresses them too much for use on the page. You should, however, include the image file name, and any image credits (who the photographer is) at the end of your article.

SEND#TO: - General enquiries & complaints - News articles - In-depth articles on a given topic - Reviews and non-news articles about the arts - Everything sport-related DEADLINE#FOR#INCLUSION#IN#ISSUE#6#(February): Articles: Monday, January 24th. Advertising: Wednesday, January 26th.

The#Team EDITORIAL Editor Deputy Editor Chief Designer Secretary


News Editor Sub Editor Designer


Features Editor Sub Editor Designer

ARTS#&#REVIEWS Arts & Reviews Editor Sub Editor Designer


Sport Editor Sub Editor Designer

Gaz Corfield Ben Moxey Vic Jeganathan Josie Daw

Amy Blackford Marise Jeyarajah Adam James

Natasha Prayag Kashfia Kabir James Squire

Paul Dunn Emma Butcher Boring Rob

Ben Vallely Kat Muhly Enya Williams

All comments and complaints about content in Le Nurb should be addressed to the Editor in the first instance: Complaints will only be entertained where it can be proven that an article or graphic is: factually inaccurate; breaches the Press Complaints Commission’s Editors’ Code of Practice; breaches the National Union of Journalists’ Code of Conduct; breaks the law; or encourages readers to break the law. No complaint that fails to satisfy at least one of these criteria will be upheld.

Four#Words# from#the#Chief# Designer Will this do, Gaz? More from Vic next month.

All articles and pictures © their respective authors unless otherwise indicated. Views expressed are those of the writers and do not reflect the official position of UBS or Brunel University. Published by: Union of Brunel Students, Cleveland Road, Uxbridge. UB8 3PH Printed by: Harmsworth Printing Derby, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby, DE1 2BH

Please recycle this/the environment thanks you/with grateful hand jobs

January 2011!"!Le!Nurb

News 3

Brunel!triumphant!at!award! ceremony

Calling!all!Engineers! and!Designers! Ben Moxey

Brunel University

Usain Bolt trained at Brunel over the summer Bess Browning Brunel University has won the ‘Best Higher Education Provider’ award. The Best Business Awards reward different industries for being excellent in their area of work, however big or small, and it has recognized Brunel for its brilliance as a university. This is not the first but the third award Brunel received in 2010 for its distinction in UK Higher Education. The chairman of the judges honored Brunel for its ‘world class professors’ and ‘careful cost controls.’ He said: “Among advances are


improved IT infrastructure, industrial collaborations, a new emphasis on staff well-being and sports facilities that have attracted Usain Bolt and the Jamaican track team for training.” The university’s Pro-Vice-Chancellor, Professor Steve Dixon, said: “It is a tribute to the commitment and dedication of all our staff. It also reflects Brunel’s strategic strength, confidence and forwardlooking ethos at a time of great change for Higher Education.” Other winners included Barclays Bank, the Metropolitan Police and Hillingdon Council.

The School of Engineering and Design is holding its annual ResCon, a research student conference aiming to give research students the opportunity to practice their presentation skills and present their findings to their colleagues, academics and industrial collaborators. This year’s even will consist of 3 days of technical presentations, along with poster sessions and a social. There will be prizes for the best presentations in each area, which will be a donation to help the student present at an international conference. ResCon will be held between 20th and 22nd of June 2011 in the Newton Rooms. Please visit the ResCon ’11 website on the School of Engineering and Design’s site for more info

DESIGN FOR US! Join us before the Le Nurb logo gets the treatment. We mean it this time! Email to get involved.

There is NO JOINING FEE at Brunel University’s More Energy Fitness Centre throughout January. That’s a saving of £30 for staff and £25 for students to use state of the art fitness equipment. Staff membership starts at just £18 per month, while student membership is from as little as £15 per month. Call today on 01895 265307 or email for details on how to join. Limited spaces are available.

Brunel!Journalists! Professionally!Accredited Amy Blackford Brunel University’s journalism degree has become the UK’s newest industry accredited course. The BA (Hons) in Journalism was launched almost three years ago, and has just received industry hallmark accreditation by the National Council for the Training of Journalists (NCTJ). Brunel University now offers the only honours programme in Greater London. The programme, run by course convener Keith Somerville, is now one of only 18 courses, accredited by the NCTJ, across the UK. NCTJ chief executive Joanne Butcher said: “It’s great to see the journalism provision at Brunel going from strength-to-strength. We know how challenging it is for undergraduate

journalism degree courses to meet the NCTJ standard for accreditation but the team at Brunel was more than able to demonstrate the commitment, resources and quality we require.” The course is taught by many active practitioners and academic researchers. Sarah Niblock, who established the Journalism department, said: “We are delighted as we want to provide the best possible launch pad for our students’ careers in this competitive climate. But at the same time they are taking a demanding academic programme, equipping them with the critical and contextual knowledge they really need to navigate a fast-moving media world.” Brunel currently offers an MA Journalism course, which is accredited by the NCTJ, and an MA International Journalism. Both hold strong employment records.

Brunel University

Obituary!–!Eileen!Nials It was with great sadness that Le Nurb learned of the sudden death of Eileen Nials, shortly before Christmas. The University flag flew at half mast as a mark of respect on Friday 7th January. Eileen had worked in the Catering department for the past seven years, later within More food hall where her ever smiling face greeted customers at the till area.

Remember the ducks/they shiver in chilled water/with discarded tat

She will be greatly missed by all her friends and colleagues throughout the University. If anyone wishes to make a donation in memory of Eileen, a collection is being made within the food hall to a charity of her family’s choice. Eileen Nials, 31st August 1952 – 20th December 2010

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

4 News


Hayley Baldwin

Cristiano Betta Cristiano Betta flocked to the sales before the VAT increase on 1st January Shoppers

UK#music#sales#drop#for#a# sixth#consecutive#year

What do you get if you combine Boxing Day sales, an increase in VAT looming and a sixhour time limit? The answer is thousands of shoppers and total chaos! Boxing Day used to be a relaxing extension of Christmas day, but sadly, the temptation of half-price homeware, discounted designer clothes and inexpensive electricals have lured people away from their families and into stores nationwide. Not even the freezing weather conditions and tube strikes could stop shoppers bombarding stores in search of a good buy. The eager bargain hunters are increasing year by year, according to the Daily Mail, as over 8,000 people were waiting outside Selfridges on Oxford Street before it opened. This is a significant increase compared to the 2,000 who turned up last year. It seems that due to the increase of VAT, shoppers were more desperate to grab a bargain than ever before.

Due to Sunday trading laws stores limited their opening times to six hours, meaning shoppers would have also had the added stress of a time limit. However, some stores opened early due to the high demands from shopoholics queuing outside stores. The Daily Mail also reported: “Brent Cross shopping centre in north London opened its doors two hours early and saw up to 10,000 shoppers within the first hour”. London was among many other cities that were invaded with an army of sale seekers. Braehead shopping centre near Glasgow and the Trafford Centre in Manchester also experienced thousands of shoppers and raked in hundreds of thousands of pounds in sales. It is reported that the most sought-after items were iPads and HD televisions. Like Valentine’s Day and Father’s Day, some argue that Boxing Day has become just another day of the year for businesses to take advantage of the materialistic desire of shoppers; however, in our money-hungry economy, who can blame them?

Kindle#becomes#best(selling# Amazon#product#ever

machechyp machechyp album sales and digital downloads are falling Physical

Ollie de Kretser Figures show that the music industry in Britain seems to be the latest victim of the recession. The British Recorded Music Industry (BPI) recorded a 7% drop of combined physical and digital album sales last year. This drop is mainly due to a heavy decline in CD sales and at HMV’s music stores likefor-like sales for the five weeks leading up to January 1st were down 13.6%. The high street music retail giant will be closing 40 of its UK stores over the next 12 months in response to the slump in profit. Retail analyst Nick Bubb has said that HMV is ‘the last man standing’ in terms of high street music retailers and it will take some serious thinking to keep consumers coming back to buy physical albums over digital downloads from sites like the iTunes store. The digital downloads market has seen growth over the past year with the BPI finding that for the first time sales of downloaded singles surpassed the 5 million mark, no

doubt helped along by the Christmas number 1 race led by X-Factor winner Matt Cardle. BPI says there is a ‘healthy stream’ of releases from big artists like Rihanna, Katy Perry and Kings of Leon but a major problem is that digital download sales are not growing as fast as physical album sales are declining. Jim Killock of the Open Rights Group has said that ‘music competes with games, video and TV for your hard-earned cash’ and when push comes to shove, some consumers will choose to download music illegally and pay for other entertainment. The BPI has blamed illegal downloading for the decline in sales, however, Jim Killock has said: ‘Music companies should make albums more compelling, rather than calling for families to be cut off the Internet.’ ‘Record labels are masters of their own fate and need to stop blaming their customers for their industry’s own failures.’ HMV is not the first store to make cuts due to sale decline as in 2008 both Woolworths and Zavvi collapsed.


Amazon Kindle - the latest craze? Adam Martley Amazon’s latest e-reader has become the online retailer’s best-selling product in history after outselling the last book in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series. The record was previously held by Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which sold 2.5 million copies when it was released in 2007. The Kindle 3 has a battery life of up to one month and allows users to download e-books wirelessly through Amazon’s Kindle Store. Over a million books in the store are available for free, including many classics. It has also been announced that US

Recycle this rag/it will please the editor/he loves the planet

users of the device are able to lend an e-book to a friend or family member for 14 days, in a similar way to borrowing a book from a library. Amazon said in July last year that its Kindle e-books were outselling hardbacks. Although Amazon has not revealed how many units have been sold since its release, last August, the record confirms the claim made by the CEO of, Jeff Bezos, that “millions of people now own Kindles”. The Kindle’s main rival is Apple’s tablet computer, the iPad, which sold three million units in its first 80 days and over seven million since its release last April.

January 2011!"!Le!Nurb

News 5

Blade!in!Duck!protest Ben Moxey The mascot of Sheffield United, Captain Blade, has announced his support for his opposite number at Preston, Deepdale Duck. Capt Blade, 122, held up a sign emblazoned with the words ‘Free the Preston One’ during Sheffield Utd’s game with Doncaster at the start of January as a protest against the Duck’s dismissal three days earlier Preston’s mascot was escorted from the ground by stewards during the Preston v Derby game after Stephen Bywater, the

Derby keeper, claim to have been put off by him. Preston have rushed to confirm that Duck, 151, will not be facing any further action and a spokesman was quoted saying “We’re still not quite sure why Deepdale Duck was escorted off” At time of writing this saga looks set to rumble and the following match is set to be against Nottingham Forest though it remains to be seen if the great outlaw and Forest mascot, Robin Hood will make an appearance at the game due to what will undoubtedly be an increased police presence due to Duck’s unruly behaviour.

Loren Javier

Screen legend rescued by sea craeture sin his youth

Porpoises!Rescue!Dick Ben Moxey Dick Van Dyke, one-time Englishman and winner of the ‘Best Cockney Accent of the Year’ award for 1964, has revealed that he was saved from certain death by a pod of porpoises whilst out surfing as a young man. The 84-year-old actor said that on the trip to the beach he went out to catch some

waves. However, he dozed off while paddling out to sea and drifted far from land. “I woke up out of sight of land. I started paddling with the swells and started seeing fins around me and I thought ‘I’m a dead man!’” “They turned out to be porpoises,” he said. “And they pushed me all the way to shore.” The porpoises were unavailable for comment.

Is!it!a!bird?!Is!it!a!plane?!Is!it! some!random!guy?!Um,!yes Great Britain could be forced out of the EU over unnoticed law

Britain!in!EU! Membership!Crisis! Gaz Corfield Xurble

Move over Superman - there’s a new hero in town! Ben Moxey Villains of Seattle should watch out! There’s a new crime-fighting unit in town! It’s Phoenix Jones! A real-life super-hero who is dressed in a black and gold lycra suit, with a bullet proof vest, stab protection, taser and tear gas. Before patrolling downtown Seattle, Phoenix walks into a comic store, enters the backroom and hides behind the shelves to transform into his alter-ego. He has already prevented one man from having his car stolen. A witness, known only as Dan, saw a man trying to jimmy a door open on a

nearby car. Dan began to ring 911, but before he finished dialing Phoenix Jones had appeared to chase the crimmo away! But Phoenix doesn’t ride alone. He and the eight other members of his Rain City Super Group walk the streets, fighting crime. Since starting his crusade nine months previously, Phoenix has been stabbed and threatened at gunpoint numerous times. He told CBS reporters “When I walk into a neighbourhood, criminals leave because they see the suit. I symbolise that the average person doesn’t have to walk around and see bad things and do nothing” He also symbolises insanity.

Britain’s membership of the European Union could be terminated overnight if an almost unnoticed law is passed through Parliament. Philip Hollobone, who is the Conservative MP for Kettering, Northamptonshire, introduced the European Communities Act 1972 (Repeal) Bill to the House of Commons in July last year. The Bill has had its first reading and is set for its second reading in December 2011. The European Communities Act 1972 is the key piece of legislation that places EU treaties and decisions of EU bodies, such as the European Court of Human Rights, above British law. Repealing this Act would remove the EU’s power to enforce its laws and judicial decisions

Earth dying poisoned/stop excessive pollution/you selfish arseholes

within the UK, as well as releasing the UK from its financial obligations towards the EU. However, it could also have negative consequences for Britain’s international trade with EU member states, possibly including a sharp rise in the price of goods imported from the EU, and would most likely harm diplomatic relations with countries such as France and Germany. Despite the Bill’s potential consequences, experts are sceptical that the Bill will have any significant impact on Britain’s international standing. Abimbola Olowofoyeku, professor of law at Brunel University, commented: “This is a private members’ Bill that has no chance of becoming law. As such, I do not think that it is a worthwile project … [it is] simply not worth the paper that it is written on.”

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

6 News

All#change#please! VAT#Increase#Hits#Post# Christmas#Sales Marise Jeyarajah

Ben Elias

London Underground’s Metropolitan Line gets a facelift Gaz Corfield New trains are being introduced on the Metropolitan Line for the first time in almost fifty years. After half a decade of service the old A Stock trains, built between 1960 and 1962, are being withdrawn and replaced by the brand new S Stock. Four of the new trains are currently in service, although they will only visit Uxbridge four times a day: twice in the morning and twice in the evening. A Stock trains will continue to run until platform improvement works have been completed, allowing the new trains to use all platforms at Uxbridge. A Transport for London (TfL) spokeswoman explained: “Work to accommodate the new longer trains is ongoing at some stations, including Uxbridge, which means that the new trains are not able to serve all platforms

just yet. However, work at Uxbridge is expected to be completed towards the end of February.” Critics have complained that although the new fleet of 58 trains are touted by TfL as increasing passenger capacity, there are in fact 29% fewer seats on board. TfL’s planned upgrades to the Underground’s signalling systems, parts of which date back to the 1940s, will allow more frequent services to run. It is hoped that these will increase overall passenger capacity by 27%. Anthony Wood, Chairman of the Federation of Metropolitan Line Users’ Committees, commented: “We were told the new signals would be in place by now and they would step up the number of trains running, but the contract hasn’t even been awarded yet and it will take three years to do the work.” TfL estimates that the signalling upgrades will be complete by 2016.

As post-Christmas sales begin, shoppers are hit with the horror of a VAT increase. The Value Added Tax rise from 17.5% to 20% began on the 4th January and will affect all consumers throughout the country. Customers will see a surge of escalated prices on almost all goods and services leading to a likely drop in sales. VAT applies to most goods such as clothing, household appliances, cars etc. However items like foods, children’s clothing and so on are exempt from VAT or have a ‘reduced rate’. Having raised VAT to the highest percentage seen in decades, George Osborne assured people that the increase was an “unavoidable” action that was “tough and fair”. This comes as the latest decision taken by the Coalition Government in an attempt to reduce the country’s growing debt. Mr Osborne has said he is determined to bring down Britain’s debt within five years but aims to do it mainly through cuts rather increasing taxes.

After 3 weeks of fun, festivities and frolicking in the winter blizzards, Radio Brunel returned this Monday with every single show eager to bring witty banter, top music and awesome entertainment all day, every day. A great deal has changed since Radio Brunel were last on air. Brunel’s only student radio station has launched a new look website and introduced several new shows appealing to a new demographic of students. Radio Brunel and the ARC have now joined forces to bring you live counselling sessions every week. Along with a new Chart Show every

Sunday afternoon, watch out for more live interviews that are exclusive to Radio Brunel. Radio Brunel will also be working with RAG, bringing you an exclusive 120 hour live broadcast from the likes of Will

WRITE#FOR#US! Le Nurb accepts submissions from any Brunel student. See page 2 to find out how to get involved!

Smooth#Operator Ben Moxey A homeless man from Ohio, USA has become a YouTube sensation after using his ‘God-given gift of voice’ to beg for money. A video of Ted Williams reciting voiceover lines in his smooth baritone have been viewed over 4000 times. It all stems from his childhood of listening to the radio and realising that the voice never matches the face you picture. “He said to me: ‘Radio

Radio#Brunel#Revamped Tom Scott

The Opposition, however, held a different view as they branded the decision as “reckless” and a threat to jobs and growth of the economy. Labour insists that the VAT increase will affect the families with the lowest household incomes. Estimations show households losing an extra £400 in their yearly spending as a result of the increase.

And K, Tom Scott And Josh and Dance Brunel Dance. Whilst much is new, all your favourite shows are back, refreshed and ready for the upcoming months of great entertainment.

You must recycle/it pleases us at Le Nurb/we may give you cake

is defined as theatre of mind’,” Williams says. Having attended broadcasting school as a teen, he was forced to drop out due to problems with alcohol, drugs and “a few other things”. He now claims to be 2 years sober and begs for money with a sign saying: “I have a God-given gift of voice. I am an ex-radio presenter who has fallen on hard times. Please! Any help will be greatly appreciated” To check out the video, visit

Check the official website for all the details on the new timetable (as your favourite show may have moved) as well as much more. Radio Brunel is back and, once again, better than ever.

January 2011!"!Le!Nurb

Union News 7

More!students!than!ever!before!apply! for!vocational!degrees

News!In!Brief Izzy The Le Nurb Office has just been informed that the RAG team is to kill off Izzy, their famous yellow duck. This saddens us.

Arthur Rumours are flying around that Arthur, the legendary OAP famous for appearing in the Academy during the year with stick-on cornrows and wearing a Brunel tracksuit, has been spotted at Kingston University. He graduated from Brunel this summer.

Cheeky!Caution Current member of the Cheeky Girls, Gabriela Irimia, has been caught shoplifting at a local Sainsburys in Cheshire and was subsequently cautioned by police. A spokesman said “the 26-yearold woman from Essex was detained on suspicion of theft of grocery items.” No word yet on whether security had to ‘touch her bum’.


Practical courses increase in popularity after graduate employment prioritised Amy Blackford Recent figures from UCAS have shown that applications to study subjects such as engineering and the sciences have all increased so far this year. Johnny Rich, editor of the university guide, said: “The increase in higher education applications over the last few years

has been based on what students want to study. Now it is based on what they think they may earn money from.” As fears of arise in graduate debt loom, students are racing to apply for a degree that will almost guarantee employment. Demand for education courses is up by more than 9%, while degrees in communication, including PR, have risen by 7%.

More!Student! Protests!Planned

Matt Baldry

Students continue protesting after rise in tuition fees Amy Blackford The National Union of Students (NUS) and University and College Union (UCU) will join the Trades Union Congress (TUC) for another demonstration, in Manchester, on the 29th January 2011. It is aimed at highlighting issues relevant to young people; including access

to education, youth unemployment and Government plans to scrap EMA. Another demonstration planned for the same day in London by the National Campaign against Fees and Cuts (NCAFC) and the Education Activist Network (EAN) has been condemned by the NUS leader, Aaron Porter, calling it “unhelpful”.

Rich said: “Students taking these sorts of courses are not necessarily correct that they will lead directly to a job. For example, there are 8,500 people studying forensic science in the UK but there are only 9,000 jobs in the industry, and many of those people will have degrees in other subjects such as biology and chemistry.”

Student!sit! in!to!end Le Nurb Reporter Several students occupying a building at the University of Kent have said their protest at education cuts and rises in tuition fees is to end. The group begun on the 8th December but continued after other university sit-in protests ended last month. University of Kent student Ben Stevenson, 20, said: “I suppose we feel as though we have done as much as we can. “We know that the university would get a possession order because it’s their building, but we feel as if we are leaving on our terms. “We are still very much in dispute with the university and we will be continuing our campaigning once we are out.” Food parcels were sent to the protestors over the Christmas period.

Reuse your old things/it may seem like they’re useless/but you are quite wrong

Fishy!Prices The world’s largest bluefin tuna has been sold for £254,000. The fish, which weighed in at 754lb, was sold to an upscale sushi restaurant in Tokyo. The high price tag of the tuna left some market traders ‘surprised by the price’.

Beckham’s!Boy!is!Best"Dressed GQ Magazine have named Romeo Beckham has one of Britain’s best dressed men. Whilst not outdoing father David, Romeo, aged 8, has been voted a ‘better dresser’ than the likes of Simon Cowell, Dermot O’Leary and Prince William. No word yet on whether this news has affected the young prince’s confidence going into his big wedding on April 29th.

Bewitching!Law!Change ‘Witches’ in Romania have cast a spell on government officials to show their outrage at having to pay tax. Twelve women threw poisonous mandrakes into the River Danube to curse the officials over the change in law. The new tax, which came into effect on January 1st, was another step towards Romania recovering from the recession.

Troublemaker!Extinguished Student Edward Woollard, 18, was jailed on 11th January 2011for throwing a fire extinguisher off of the Millbank Roof at the NUS protest on 10th November 2010. He was sentenced to two years and 8 months at Southwark Crown Court.

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

8 Features

your background which you can then tile over and over, causing madness to the visitor and prevents anyone reading the text on there. You will also be able to completely destroy the profile’s format so that it requires a monitor the size of the IMAX to display without scroll bars and causes your browser to give up and die. Finally, you will be able to upload extremely loud, low-quality sound clips that will automatically play on loop and perforate the eardrums of anyone stupid enough to open your profile. And the play/pause button will be camouflaged into the profile background. And it will move. Constantly.


Scaremonger 2.0 This application aids in the creation of an infinite number of groups warning of the closure of Facebook/the internet/the world. Lots of people are guaranteed vto join these groups because, as we all know, if enough people join a Facebook group then its proposals instantly become official law in most civilized countries.

Richard Stephenson

Facebook profiles can act as an unintended and unwanted portal into our lives.

Ben Moxey

Ben explores the ever-expanding world of Facebook apps and suggests a few of his own to highlight their intrusion and integration into our daily lives. Facebook is the UK’s number one tool for trying to convince people that you are popular by uploading pictures of yourself in nightclubs. But that’s not all this huge social network (hmmm... good film name...) site can do. You can also list all of your favourite bands that no-one has heard of in a pointless note that no-one will read, spend hours slogging through an endless list of ‘naughty’ things you have done and add people who you may have shared a tube carriage with in 1999. Until recently, these were all devices you needed to maintain your absurd

masquerade of being an interesting person. However, you can now supplement your profile with an expanding array of sloppily programmed applications. These can do anything from allowing you to brag about your knowledge of Friends trivia, to experiencing the life of a cyberfarmhand, complete with virtual shitraking...probably. These new additions to the established Facebook formula of hollow boasting and thinly-veiled references to exciting things that have happened to you are causing a real stir, and like every idiot I am keen to jump on this bandwagon. Sadly, as an engineer, I know little about programming, so I appeal to all nerds with a lax attitude towards things like ‘me taking all the credit’ to help me code my awesome App ideas. Here are some of the early ones: Friends+ This application will go through the electoral register and add everybody in there as your friend. Most will accept because, like you, they are desperate to

have more friends listed than their exgirlfriends in order to demonstrate that they are ‘coping fine, thank you very much’ and that their life is not falling apart. It will automatically generate wall posts like “Hey long time no see, how are you doing?” and then hopefully they will post back on your wall and push the news feed post about your ex telling you about their trip to Spain with their new fella. SuiStatus You can use this application to generate enigmatic status updates that make it seem like you are contemplating suicide. This will cause concerned friends to post on your wall, telling you they love you. You can then choose to either post back saying they misunderstood, or not to log on for a week and see if you get any panicked text messages. MyFaceSpaceBook The aim of this App is to provide the functionality of the rival site MySpace. You can upload a blurry, garish JPEG to

Spicing up Le Nurb/with recycling themed haiku/it’s a fun pastime

Ultra TimeSaver Deluxe It is possible to spend a lot of time on Facebook, and this application is targeted at those who spend this time conducting ‘research’. No doubt you are all familiar with this process: You see an attractive girl in one of your lectures (or the bar if you are an engineer) and work out her name from the register. Once home you go on Facebook, find her profile, bless your luck she hasn’t thought to make it private, check her relationship status, anxiously analyse messages left by boys on her wall for signs of intimacy, comb through her 2000+ pictures to see if there are any of her in a passionate embrace with one of the aforementioned boys, cross-reference her email address against her ISP’s database to find out where she lives, check it out on Google Street-View, clamber into a nearby tree, take grainy photos on your phone of her reading a book, break in while she is out, sniff her pillows, try on her bras, have a shower with her products in her bathroom, steal something small from her dresser, hand it back to her in a lecture telling her you found it in the street, lean in and smell her hair, ‘accidentally’ touch her arse in the crowded campus store, glare at the boy who comes up and greets her, follow him home, push him down a flight of stairs, crack his head with a brick, run to her house still wearing clothes soaked in his blood, propose marriage and struggle with the police as they drag you to their car. It happens to the best of us. This application just trims out all the faff and just contacts the appropriate authorities straight off the bat. If you know how to make any of these dreams into a frightening reality, then please contact me on Twitter @ TheOnlyMoxey. We will agree a split of the doubtlessly huge profits, but it probably won’t be in your favour. Sorry.

January 2011!"!Le!Nurb

Features 9

Don’t!Dwindle,!Dream Change!and!Questions James Walls James aims to explain the politico-economic changes happening in our country in a method that is easy and clear to understand. Like you, I do not pretend to understand every political and economical event that happens around me. So this is an account, and a request; if anyone knows the answers please do reply.


Don’t you think it’s time to follow your manifest destiny? a fool anymore, he’s made it big. He is rich, while you are sitting on the couch in your average apartment thinking about what Amidu could have been. You once had potential, Njiemoun aspirations, until you decided to settle for average. You realize you’ve wasted your life, then fall into a midlife crisis, quit your In Amidu’s own words: “Don’t be afraid mediocre job, divorce your wife – because to chase your dreams, never settle for you settled for average and she’s not hot less and don’t let anyone say you can’t enough – and try to turn things around. Only, you can’t get a job nor can you find a do something. Remember when you were a little new wife because you’re too old and quite kid, maybe six years old, your whole life frankly, not that good looking either. ahead of you and people asked you what Depressed, you start living on the street, you wanted to be? I’m guessing your shaking it for dollar bills at your local strip answer was something along the lines of club making just enough money to get ‘I wanna be an actor’ or a singer, doctor, or high. You know… the usual. professional football player. But do we really want that? I guess Whatever it was, I’m sure it was some people do, but those who don’t, something big, something aspirational. those who are not satisfied with average, Something that, years later, when you told those are the people I am trying to reach. people about it they would just laugh at Don’t sell yourself short; don’t let anyone you and tell you to ‘get real’ so many times tell you you can’t do something (The that you start to lose confidence and find Pursuit of Happyness… good movie). But it silly yourself. So you locked it away deep also realize that life is no cake walk and inside of you, thinking that maybe one you won’t go from zero to hero. Unless day you’ll try to achieve it. you are freakishly good looking, no one But not now, I mean you’re just at will hand you anything on a silver platter. university, merely 20 years old, there’s The good news is, if you realize this now plenty of time left. So you live your and start making moves, then you won’t student life, study whatever it is you’re have to worry about what your stripper studying, hoping to graduate and find a name should be (I would go with Bubbles, job, but nothing too that’s just me). ...we are young, and we but fancy, nothing out And that’s because do have most of our life we are young, and of the ordinary. After ahead of us. all, you have to stay we do have most of Work hard and you can ‘real’, remember, stay our life ahead of us. do almost anything... ‘average’, ain’t no risks Work hard and you involved with that. It’s a lot safer than can do almost anything you want. Cliché, aiming too high and chasing a dream I know, but it holds more truth now than that might never come true. That can wait ever before; I mean nowadays you can tell until later, when you’ve settled into your a black kid that he can become president life and built a foundation. Yeah, when one day and you wouldn’t even be lying. later comes around you can always still Anything is possible, so don’t waste accomplish that dream of yours. any more time, sit down, think about So you go on to live your life, do your where you want to be and what you have thing, work in a safe workplace, average, to do to get there and do it. If things still but safe. Then one day, you turn on the TV don’t work out, don’t blame me, life’s a and see someone you know, maybe one bitch. of the fools people made fun of because he dared to dream big. Only now he’s not

A Recap Last year boasted a move into Conservative rule with a so-called Liberal Democrat coalition. Disappointingly, Nick Clegg has not kept his word on many of the popular policies he shouted about prior to the election. Instead we have seen cuts ranging from education to the NHS, and council cuts incurring job loss. Interestingly for all the Eco-Warriors, there has also been an attack on British wildlife. Many state-owned forests, including traditional royal hunting grounds like the New Forest and Sherwood Forest are set to be sold to the highest bidder. No real rules have been set as to what these buyers can do with our wildlife, but my guess is they are not to make lovely parks for the public to walk their dogs. The 150,000 hectares of prime woodland have drawn interest from timber companies and housing developers alike, begging the question: will Britain maintain its “green and pleasant land?” A look at the present Moving into 2011 I would like to point out that I do recognise the need for change. There is much inefficiency and money-wasting in our country. But should the solution be to the detriment of a small amount of people? How will the unemployment figure look in the future? Will those who need benefits get all the help they need from society or will new regulations disallow this? Only time will tell, but what we are aware of in the present is the VAT rise. The rise to 20% this year is set to benefit January with the obvious sales boom. But the Centre for Retail Research claim in their report that the first month achievement will drop and an estimated £2.2bn fall on last year’s sales will occur. The British Retail Consortium has concluded that the fall is a necessary harm on the public sector needed to supplement the government’s deficit combating package. But what does this deficit mean? I pose this question honestly to

When you finish this/don’t discard it casually/think of the forests

you, readers, from a blog I recently wrote: This is an honest question and maybe a stupid one: what is the national debt? Ok, so I understand it is an amount of money which has been accumulated by our country’s government spanning back many decades. I also understand that the figure is ridiculously high, going way up into the £900 billion mark. But in all honesty what does it mean? For example, an average person who is in debt may feel worried. This person may have the bank phoning up threatening to ruin their lives ,and the lives of their family, if they do not pay up. Perhaps their house may be repossessed, or they may be forced to declare themselves bankrupt and lose all future credit opportunities. But seriously, who is banging on 10 Downing Street and asking for money? Other countries?! I don’t know. So, if no one is asking for the money why does it matter? How will it explode? I know vaguely that the capitalist economic system works in a spiral of supply and demand and, yes, there will often be recessions. These recessions are just the bottom of the spiral, but, once supply levels out, surely it all springs back and we get a peak, then the whole process starts again…? The Future So far I haven’t mentioned Mr Ed Miliband. In all honesty: I am in great support of Ed Miliband and what he has not done. The fact that he hasn’t done much or attempted to do much is a very clever move. At the moment the polls are sliding away from the coalition with people now realising the cuts won’t just affect the students but also every average Joe’s life. Ed Miliband realises this and knows just what to do. He has already offered support to the disillusioned Liberal Democrat MPs and claimed that Osborne mislead the public on the VAT rise policy. Small attacks such as this can only benefit the Labour leader, but his real ally is time. With the waning support of the coalition becoming more apparent, what better way to gain public support than letting the public see the Conservatives’ faults for themselves? If Miliband stays relatively quiet and makes only sensible moves, his hope for regaining power may be a reality. Looking to the future, it would take one failed majority vote to tumble the coalition. The balance is delicate and in order to make sure Miliband doesn’t get buried under the fall of his party he should stand well back and pick his strategy carefully.

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

10 Features

From#Russia#to#Brunel:#Words#of#Wisdom# to#International#Students

Sanja Gjenero

Travelling abroad for education is a daunting experience but it’s important to make the most of the adventure

Gamal Mazhikov

Gamal explains his experience of being an international student and his frustration at the clique nature of same-language individuals. For most international students, studying in the UK is a once in a lifetime experience. I remember how I felt arriving at Heathrow – full of enthusiasm and anticipation, ready for a life changing transformation. Aside from all the fun and adventure, it can put a lot of pressure on you too. Adjusting to life in a new country, studying, and possibly working part-time is really challenging, especially being so far away from home. Here I can share a couple of thoughts on how to get more out of your time at Brunel as an International Student. Apart from studies there is so much going on: clubs and societies, sports activities, Placement and Careers Centre events (which I strongly recommend attending), London at your doorstep and lots more. But whatever you choose to do, it’s better to manage your time well and recognise your priorities.

Firstly, since there is so much stuff worth doing, try to eliminate any time wasters that you might have. One thing that I did was getting rid of my laptop – it was my single greatest time waster and with much reluctance I decided to make that painful sacrifice. When I had it, I was wasting an average 2-3 hours daily on Skype, Facebook, YouTube, gaming, watching movies, just pointless browsing and other rubbish. After that first step, I made “to do” lists for computer work and when I needed a computer, I went to the John Crank building, which is open 24/7. A simple measure but very effective – saved me loads of time. Joining a sports club is highly advisable. You will be doing something fun and healthy, and are also quite likely to make new friends. There is a great range of sports clubs at Brunel – fencing, rock climbing, archery, football and many more; there is definitely something to suit everyone. It will also provide a useful distraction from studies, and be something to look forward to, not just lectures and seminars. Another thought is about English. If you come from a non-English speaking country it is worth putting some effort into perfecting your English while you are here. Fluent English would be an invaluable asset for your future career, back home or in England. In my time here I’ve met people from Latin

America, China, Russia and other countries, who have lived here for years but still have very poor English. Why? Because they live and work in communities where they speak their own language. And I noticed something similar happening in Brunel – students from the same country sticking together and speaking their own language. Well, I was kind of lucky with that – I come from a Russian speaking place and there aren’t that many Russian speakers in Brunel. On arrival in the UK I decided to completely abolish Russian from my head (easier said than done) and endeavour to become an English speaker. Since I was going to study in England only for a few years and I will probably speak Russian for the rest of my life when I get back, it seemed perfectly rational to me. Now I’m glad that I made that choice. There are huge books written about learning English but I’ll try to present in a nutshell what worked for me. As I said, try to minimise the use of your native language and use English for all your personal needs (shopping lists, personal diaries, notes, etc). I stopped using English-Russian dictionaries and started using only English-English dictionaries which give definitions of words; most of the time I was listening to the radio – usually BBC Radio 4, BBC World Service or LBC (these stations don’t play music and just talk 24/7).

Don’t stop recycling/polar bears holding me hostage/they hate pollution

A great source of help with my English came from somewhere quite unexpected. My first job in London was to look after people with disabilities and many of them don’t have much to do, being housebound. A lot of them like to speak to their carers; one lady actually had a hobby of teaching her carers to speak English properly and she was always correcting my mistakes, she said that it “kept her on her toes” mentally and a lot of my progress happened thanks to her. It improved my perception of English speech. I had a client who was partially blind and I had to read books for him, sometimes for hours. Before that I could understand others but others could hardly understand me – I had a harsh Russian accent with rolling Rs and everything. Reading in English for hours out loud almost destroyed my vocal cords, my mouth and throat were literally sore, and after a few months, they were a lot more adapted to English pronunciation. Those reading sessions made my speech a lot more comprehensible. I’m not saying that everyone should go and get a job with disabled people :-) But I think these practises are transferable – try to be involved more with native English speakers and have discussions with them. Maybe the idea of sitting in your room alone and reading out loud in English seems a bit morbid but if you change your mind, give it a go – it might help. I’ve been told that these three years at university will pass very quickly, so I’m trying to make the most of them. In your youth you are full of energy, talent and potential – so try to put them to a good use. Good luck!

January 2011!"!Le!Nurb

Features 11




Alex Mitchell

Ben Moxey speaks to Andy Burnham, Labour’s Shadow Secretary of State for Education.

Ben Moxey In the first Brunel Questions interview, MP Andy Burnham talks to Ben Moxey and Alex Mitchell about the student tuition fees controversy: how the Coalition has got it wrong, and the Labour alternative. “To me, Hillsborough was the end of the era where the authorities could stitch everything up and shaft the punters.” Standard statement from a football terrace, no? Or the bookies? Or even just a pub. Instead it is Shadow Secretary of State for Education, Andy Burnham. Today, Le Nurb is allowed a backstage pass at Westminster, as the government race around putting out fires (metaphorically and physically) in the run up to the vote on the tuition fee rise. However, while we grill him on the state of Higher Education in the UK, he also has time to give Thatcher a kick, and blame those at the top in the eighties for the strife he and his fellow Northerners endured. A simple day has long since started by the time we arrived in Portcullis House, the real seat of Government. It is said that more bills are hammered out and deals cut here than in its sand-coloured neighbour over the road. Having been plied with enough coffee to keep the average man awake for many a moon, we are finally shown through to meet Andy. Despite claims that he only aspires to leave his constituency of Leigh as a safe seat for Labour, the 41-year-old recently made a grab for the top spot during the recent Labour leadership contest following Gordon Brown’s resignation. After a 5 month race in which The Other Miliband won, Andy emerged 4th behind Ed, Dave and Ed Balls. When pressed on what he learned from the experience and what the journey felt like he is remarkably stoic: ‘It was up and down and I had to dig deeper

than I’d ever done before... But I don’t regret it Right. It’s clear we should move on. Time at all. For me as a politician it was an incredibly to talk about an area of obvious passion for empowering experience, because I spoke for our constituents: the students. When the myself, I spoke for nobody else and I connected talk moved towards the recent marches and with some people. I obviously didn’t connect looming vote, Andy’s manner returns to its with enough, though!’ previously buoyant nature. As the Shadow Over the years, Andy has made a slow Education Secretary, universities don’t strictly march from the backbenches of obscurity, fall under his remit (they belong to the Dept. working with David Blunkett, Ruth Kelly and of Business, Innovation and Skills – currently Tessa Jowell until he hit the big time in 2008, helmed in the Coalition by Vince Cable) but he when he was appointed Secretary of State for speaks with honesty and drive, as a man who is Culture, Media and Sport. While in this role he well aware of the human cost of the bill. advocated more control over online video “The most corrosive thing about the content and warnings. He also attended the Browne Report and the Government’s 20th Anniversary of the Hillsborough Disaster response to it is - I can imagine in living rooms and pressed Gordon Brown to establish the across the Northwest, on the day the news Hillsborough Independent Panel to disclose reported the bill, dads saying to their children, documents on the tragedy, which he holds out ‘Forget about university, it’s out of the reach of as the moment he is a politician it was the likes of us now.’” most proud of in his an incredibly empowering When pressed further life. “As someone from experience, because I spoke on the Coalition’s Liverpool, I knew how for myself, I spoke for nobody plans he lashes out raw that was going to else against them. ‘I think and I connected be, going to that event, with some people. the catastrophic error that sense of injustice.” of judgement [they] His body language has shifted, his tone flatter. have made is to take a huge leap towards a fully It is clear that he also feels this injustice. Though private education system, where the onus of he comes from the blue half of the Merseyside, paying for the education is fully on the back of he is clearly rooted to his fellow Liverpudlians, the individual. Now for the Liberal Democrats, “I was at the other semi-final, but had many that’s a complete about-turn from where they friends at the game. Obviously there were the were arguing for a fully-funded university 96 who, tragically, lost everything, but there system.” were so many other people who were deeply But does Andy concede that while the scarred and the collective damage it did to the Lib Dems promised the moon and provided community was just massive.” the slurry, Labour promised nothing and said Then he makes the statement at the nothing? Surely as the man who aimed to lead beginning of the article. A glance to his staff, his party in opposition he could explain the they seem to have ignored it. It is true when deafening silence over the tuition fees and the Andy Burnham says he speaks for himself, he Browne review, which his party ordered? “Yeah, speaks for himself. You couldn’t imagine anyone when we look back at that maybe we should in Cameron’s cabinet accusing the police and have been clearer about that. And perhaps the government of ‘shafting the punters’ in been clearer about the ‘big-picture’ options, during the eighties unrest.... Not that they were like Graduate Tax which gained currency in the aware of it. He continues: “I felt the authorities Leadership campaign.” didn’t want to give any credence to anything So the Lib Dems were wrong to promote the football supporters were saying, and it was a fully-funded university system and the an era when they could almost get away with it.” Coalition is wrong to push through the bill You must recycle/otherwise you’re killing Earth/you ignorant git

to raise the fees cap to £9,000. Where would Labour place the impetus? On the student? On the state? “For me, it’s got to be a partnership. So university benefits both the individual who goes and society in whole. So society should contribute! While Labour had their own difficulties on this issue, we came to the right position: That funding of higher education in the UK should be a partnership between the individual and the state; in fact, it should be more a 50% partnership. Then the repayment system needs to be as progressive as possible to enable people from all backgrounds to take advantage of university. For me, Labour should stay on that ground: a partnership. Obviously fees would have to rise to meet the 50:50 split in the funding.” And the while the figures of the tuition fees are in much debate, it hasn’t escaped the attention of many in Whitehall that during the debate, larger issues are seemingly swept under the PR carpet and by and large ignored. “What is utterly wrong about what is proposed is the 80% cut in the Teaching Grant which is essentially just removing the state from the sponsorship of the humanities, of arts courses and that is profoundly wrong.” And it appears his party leader agrees, with Ed Miliband calling it ‘cultural vandalism’. The bill not only brings about a lobotomy of the teaching budget for universities, but also the cancelling of the Education Maintenance Allowance scheme. “While it is right to raise the thought that university is for everybody, you do have to clearer about the different approaches to learning...The scrapping of EMA is as pernicious to the life-chances of any young people in this country as are the rise in fees. Maybe Labour are at fault for not singing the praises of EMA, our commitment to it and we have to learn from that.” And with that (and a few final quick-fire questions) the interview is over. We thanked Andy for his time and were transported via a secret door back to Westminster underground station, back to the real world. The world that feels the effects of what the man and women above us do, like ultimately-complicated puppets, or some sort of bizarre ‘Sims’-esque game. The decisions made on the 9th of December may not directly affect those who marched over the course of November, during the ‘Demo 2010’ campaign, but it will affect the millions of young people sitting A-levels this summer, it will affect the teenagers sitting GCSEs with aspirations of being doctors or scientists or authors or even politicians. It may even affect those yet to go to school, yet to form an aspiration or yet to be born. This is the first in a series of interview conducted for Brunel Media. The next interview will take place during January with Robin Tilbrook, the founder and leader of the English Democrats. If you would like to see the interview with Andy Burnham in full, please visit the YouTube page or search ‘Brunel Questions’ on iTunes.

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

Raise and Give

12 Features

(...Because we say so. E d.) (and I say so as well. C.D esigner)

Dear students! My name is Stefan Archer and I am the Chair of RAG. For those of you who don’t know what RAG is, RAG stands for Raise and Give and is a fundraising society which is run by students with the goal of raising money for worthy causes. In the Past we have aided charities such as Childre n in Need, McMillan’s, Friendship works and Saving Faces. This year the charities we are supporting are First Aid Africa, Marie Curie Cancer Care, East Anglia Air Ambulance and the Royal National Lifeboat Association. We aim to raise money the most inventive and fun ways imaginable. Stefa

From the archive RAG WEEK - 1st March 2002

The Great Duck Race

A spectator sport not to be missed, we release a ridiculous amount of ducks down the Pinn. We invite everyone to watch their process from the bridges and the lucky owner of the winning duck wins a prize as do the two runners up.

What we can do to liven things up

Last years

ducks floatin

g away

999 Emergency Services Night

The night is going to be awesome. Academy has given RAG the opportunity to fundraise in what at times is our favourite way, by drinking and having an amazing time out. Last ye

ars 60’s

party (w e think


p mpionshi unel Cha The FifabeBr m roo e tur lec s st use of the universitie

Possibly the finding jaro group is working on projectors . The Kiliman a series be l wil eir Th . 11 20 Brunel who the Champion of Fifa for see to y ting in a final on Frida .... of 1v1 matches culmina er. off to s ha l are the best Brune will be able to say they at Fifa.


SUMO SUITS! The sumo suits will be making their outing on Thursday, so prepare for some incredible sumo action and watch and laugh as the two combatants roll themselves at each other.

Alexander Buchanan suggests some less conventional ways of raising some money for charity, or just for a laugh! Yes folks it’s here again that once a year only extravaganza, the ‘doyenne’ of the students social calendar, the one you’ve all been waiting for, the week that needs no introduction or explanation, the greatest event in the history of the world, the one, the only, RAG WEEK!!!! Um..... No, well to tell you the truth I don’t really know what its about either. I was just told we had to write something about it. The only good rumour that I heard about RAG week so far, is that because last year’s RAG trip to Amsterdam (So named because the river by the original settlement was dammed by hamsters) lost money because so few people went, the Students Union will be taking the first few hundred pounds raised for RAG to cover their losses. Whether this is true is another matter, but a nice scurrilous rumour is always a good page filler. This year RAG week is the 3rd to the 7th March at Uxbridge, and the 15th to 22nd at Runnymede. You can check out some of the crazy, wacky and original ideas (i.e. exactly the same stuff as last year) on the UBS website. However this is the chance for you to do something crazy for charity, since the line “I was doing it for charity officer, honest” is far more effect than the line “I was doing it because I was drunk”, when you are pulled over by the police for the charge of “Riding a polar bear down Uxbridge high street, while dressed as a clown and singing ‘I did it my way’ backwards”. However be prepared to produce a list of Sponsors. RAG week is all about being wild and outrageous for a good cause, as well as going out and molesting the public and taking their money. Please note that actual muggings are generally frowned upon, and you are still not allowed to break the law in the name of charity. However if anyone does come across the six and half million

Please help me stop this/ I can’t stop writing haiku/they’re hurting my brain


n Arch

dollars stolen from Heathrow, RAG will be quite willing to split the difference and look the other way (my cut is ten percent). Some of the tamer ways to raise money include: Dressing up in strange clothes (stranger than usual that is) and annoying members of the public until they give you money to go away. The best costume is a threeday-old beard, bloodshot red eyes, a dirty overcoat, worn out old boots and a bottle of paint stripper. Trust me, this works, especially if you mumble to yourself a lot and keep twitching. Declare yourself “RAG Dictator” of a small part of the university (such as the doors of the Lecture Centre) and have some friends set up border checkpoints all around it. Charge anyone who wants to come across a fee for charity, and give yourself the power to perform an intimate strip search on anyone you wish. Become a “RAG drug dealer” by buying a few packets of Polos, crushing them into a powder and selling them to street gangs for fifty pounds an ounce. There will be laughs all round when your prank is discovered. Kidnap Pop Star’s winner Will and say that you won’t release him until enough money is raised. Have a group of friends dress up in ridiculous RAG outfits consisting of: black suit, dark glasses and a gun or baseball bat. Adopt Italian accents and make sure they all refer to you as the Don. March into restaurants and demand protection money, making sure to use phrases such as ‘For the good of the family’ and ‘Say goodbye to your kneecaps punk’. Hilarious fun for all involved. Try the hilarious RAG week prank of hijacking a nuclear missile, replacing the warhead with a gallon of cold custard, and threatening to fire it at the Houses of Parliament unless two million pounds is raised for charity by five pm Friday, making sure to record your ransom demand in the style of Dr Evil. Remember to practice your evil laugh. Or you can fall back on the time honoured RAG tradition: be as annoying as possible until people pay you money to go away.

January 2011!"!Le!Nurb


What S going on? What Where Saturday15th Sunday







24 Hour Touch Rugby hosted by Rugby League



24 Hour Touch Rugby hosted by Rugby League



RAG Dodgeball Crème the Exec Table Tennis Challenge Rowing 24 Hour Row 999 emergency services night

Sports Hall Concourse Atrium Atrium Academy

10am - 2pm 12pm - 3pm 12pm - 4pm 12pm 10pm - 2am

Rowing 24 Hour Row Women’s hockey presents “the cube” and cake sale.

Atrium Atrium

12pm 10am - 4pm



Thursday 20th Friday



Garden Games & Sumo Suits


11am - 5pm

Kilimanjaro Friday Open Day Krispy Krème and Sweet Stall

Atrium Atrium

10am - 5pm 12pm - 2pm

Radio Brunels 120 hour broadcast 12am - 6am

6am - 12pm

12am - 6am


Monday 17th


Eaves Drop

Straight Flava in Your Ear

Eclectic Electric

Tuesday 18th

Will & K

Don’t Panic

Reason & Mankind

Relax Relapse


Saturday Mornings

Saz and Caz



Tom Scott & Josh

Lost Causes


Dance Brunel Dance

Tall, Short & Ginger

Bad Rep

KDRB/Rick Rokked

Wednesday 19th Thursday 20th Friday 21st

From the archive RAG WEEK – ROUTE 66 DEC. 2003

YOU CAN’T DO TOO MUCH FOR RAG, YOU CAN ONLY DO TOO LITTLE – Rimmer and Lockstock What the hell is RAG week? RAG stands for Raise and Give and RAG weeks have existed for as long as anyone can remember. It’s one of the most important events in the Brunel social calendar. RAG week is when the whole campus ‘gives up work’ (like you needed an invitation to do that) for the

week and raises money for charity. It is a chance for everyone to get involved and act irresponsibly to raise a few quid. It is an annual event but unfortunately, last year did not happen. So, this year, we must make an even larger amount to cover last year’s cockup. The Uxbridge fund raising record for RAG stands at £6000 – Runnymede campus raises a similar amount even though there are only 500 of them! And worse still, our bitter ‘friends’, Loughborough Uni, in their own RAG week regularly manage to raise around £400,000. This is the target for any RAG week and with your help it is possible. There are between 15,000 and 20,000 students at

Brunel and if everybody contributes some money then it is easily a target that can be reached, but we NEED YOUR HELP – SO GET INVOLVED!!! There are many ideas for RAG week floating around at the moment, such as all sports clubs playing each other at different sports, i.e. Rugby Vs Football at hockey and so on. Other ideas include slave trades, a chance to shower with the rugby boys (Rimmers’ idea) and for the piece de resistance, the longest drinking boat race ever in world history. This is your chance to get into the Guinness book of Records for

The planet heats up/all due to global warming/and it is your fault

drinking! Perfect! Societies are also going to do their part in their own special way. So, in conclusion ladies and jellyspoons, things to remember are: 1. RAG week is absolutely crazy 2. It requires your help 3. It is for a good cause 4. We’re going to try and break a world record Rimmer and Lockstock

Le(Nurb(.(January 2011

14 Arts & Reviews


Review(.(Taste&of&Chaos&Tour Paul Dunn

Emma Butcher These are the songs that restore my faith in the music industry. I’m fed up of listening to plinky synth sounds and drum machines that spout a monotonous droning beat while screaming ‘we are the music of this generation’. I’m fed up of the ‘Black Eyed Peas’, who think it’s ok to rhyme ‘here’ with ‘temperature’ and still make number one in the charts even though they’re tone deaf and can’t hold a single note. I’m fed up of listening, on repeat, to my

housemates’ awful iTunes music that sounds like my hamster dying an agonising death in a washing machine. The songs in this article keep my hope alive that music once existed in this cruel world. They’re all from the days of vinyl, and they’re all from a time where musicians could actually produce a decent sound from a guitar. Eat your heart out, plonky computerised excrement.

TOP(PICKS King Crimson - Court of the Crimson King Court of the Crimson King is a progressive titan of a song, with a big emphasis on the drums and an almost ‘funeral-esque parade’ melody. The lyrics speak like a traveling troubadour, taking the listener to a land fantastical weirdness.

David Bowie - Ziggy Stardust You could pick out a lot of great Bowie songs, but I think it’s the ‘sockittoem’ attitude of this particular one that really makes it stand out. Taken from the days where glam was king, Bowie’s alter ego ‘Ziggy’ really takes us back to the days where music was pure rock’n’roll.

Pink Floyd - The Great Gig In the Sky Now, this band do great things, they’ve produced albums that altogether are just the work of pure perfectionists. This song in particular is nothing like I’d ever heard before. So, it mainly involves the bansheelike screaming of Sam Brown, but for some reason... it works.

ALSO(RECOMMENDED... Fleetwood Mac – Seven Wonders Seven Wonders is the perfect blend of husky female vocals, great harmonies and a catchy chorus. Dire Straits – Tunnel of Love Get over Mark Knopfler’s ‘I’m drunk and slurry’ voice and just bask in the awesomeness. The Eagles – Hotel California It’s a cliche, but it’s a deserved classic. Kate Bush – Hounds of Love Kate Bush has one of those haunting voices that leave you feeling like you’ve just taken an entire chemist’s worth of drugs. The Rolling Stones – Gimme Shelter This slice of hippy love really makes you want to grab a beer and smoke. Queen – I Want to Break Free After playing this on my radio show a few weeks ago, I found myself belting out the lyrics and actually understanding what the song was about. Powerful lyrics sung by the best voice of a generation, and the guitar solo in the middle tops it all off. The Who – Love Ain’t For Keeping

I think I can ultimately say this is my favourite ‘Who’ song. This song is the great representation of what ‘The Who’ were about: powerful, clean-cut guitar and lyrical genius. Jimi Hendrix – All Along the Watchtower One of the best guitar solos of all time. I don’t think words can adequately describe it in all honesty, just listen. Genesis – The Knife Now forget about Phil Collins. Genesis, with Peter Gabriel, were one of the greats of progressive rock. ‘The Knife’ tells the story of war and honor in the life of a medieval knight. Ok, so that description may sound a little weird, but honestly, this is a rare example of aggressive rock in progressive music, and Genesis do it so well. (Also check out Napoleon Bona Parts 1 & 2 by Budgie. If you’re a hard rock fan, you’ll love these guys - Ed.)

Location: Wembley Arena Acts: Halestorm, Buckcherry, Papa Roach & Disturbed Going to a gig isn’t purely about the music; it’s about the atmosphere. It’s about people getting together to be entertained by people who themselves are doing what they love. This review really should focus on the music, which went from solid, down to bland, right up to some first-rate stuff, then back to merely solid, but occasionally you get a gig when the music seems incidental to the theatre occurring on the stage. The Taste of Chaos tour’s visit to Wembley Arena was, from its high points to its lows, very nearly one of those gigs. Nearly. I never really expect much from an opening act, a philosophy that I find has two advantages; it’s very hard to be disappointed, and occasionally you get a really pleasant surprise. Halestorm definitely counted as a pleasant surprise, but not for the usual reasons. The music itself was solid enough, although nothing particularly special, but while lead singer and guitarist Elizabeth “Lzzy” Hale initially caught my attention with her powerful vocals, it was her brother Arejay (drums) who really kept my focus. For an idea of why this happened, go to Youtube and search for “Korean Drummer Rocks Out”. Done that? Now, imagine that drummer from that video got into hard rock, then decided he really needed to be a bit showier and you have some idea of Arejay Hale’s drumming style. At first I assumed that he was doing this just to amuse himself, but when he pulled out a pair of novelty oversized drumsticks in the middle of a drum solo, it became clear that he was quite aware of the silliness of the whole situation and was milking it for all he was worth. Good on him. I did not like Buckcherry, the second band to grace the stage. They annoyed me. I don’t know what it is about them that pissed me off the most; the generic hair metal guitars, the singer’s complete lack of dynamic range, or the unwarranted air of smug arrogance. The music was completely predictable, taking no risks at all; I get the feeling that I could have hummed along to every song, even if the amps had cut out after the third chord. Singer Josh Todd came off as a stuck up poser, gleefully shouting dirty words as if they made up for the complete lack of lyrical depth, stage presence and talent, yelling out things like “This song is about the first time I took heroin!” and strutting around the stage like a demented heron. Following the dazzlingly dire display by Buckcherry, anything would have been an improvement, however we got more than an improvement, we got Papa Roach. I’ve never been much of a Papa Roach fan; I have of course heard ‘Scars’ and ‘Last Resort’, but their other material has pretty much passed me by. I am now determined to catch up on what I’ve missed. That’s what a great performance does, it gets people excited, and Papa Roach certainly know how to perform. Jacoby Shaddix, lead singer and proud owner of an

You fools all laugh now/but when the mole people rise/you will all repent

extremely cool name, was energetic in both his singing and his on-stage actions, and his enthusiasm was infectious, really succeeding in getting the crowd moving. Energetic is sadly not a word that could be used to describe the last band. I’m a big Disturbed fan (as many of you probably saw in my review of their last album), but their set was a bit disappointing. Musically they were on good form, although David Draiman’s voice sounded a bit strained, but their stage presence was definitely lacking, at least compared to the previous bands. The height of their interaction with the audience was when Draiman silently pointed a camera at the crowd, as if unsure what he was doing with it, before launching into “Ten Thousand Fists”. The band members seemed content to stroll leisurely from one lighting cue to another, occasionally putting one foot on a monitor for a while, before apparently getting bored of that and going for another walk. It seems unfair to judge them like this, when I’ve already said that the music was solid, but I get the feeling that Disturbed were on autopilot for the evening, and that had they been playing to an empty arena, they’d have done pretty much the same thing.


A varied gig, with some great music yet a few disappointments along the way. Papa Roach generally stole the show with a fantastic performance and stage presence, whereas other bands seemed to lack that certain spark. 88888

Terry Shuck

January 2011%<%Le%Nurb

Arts & Reviews 15

It’s%a%barrel%of%laughs%at%Brunel! Sedem Ama To round off the first term of the new academic year, Brunel University’s AfroCaribbean Society put together a jam packed evening of enjoyment called Kings of Comedy, which took place in the Howell Centre on campus. Hosted by the cheeky yet hilarious Aurie Styla, the show kicked off with the beautiful vocal sounds of Kady Douglas, a young singer accompanied by a guitarist, making a lovely start to the show, and preparing the audience for the comedy acts which were to follow! There were rumours of a guest act for the show; and the anticipation was immense. The comedian we all awaited was the oh-so-funny Kevin J. Having been on MTV for Kojo’s Comedy Funhouse, much of the audience were familiar with this white comedian who works the black circuit. His act came just before the interval, which was perfect as he had many still rolling in laughter from his jokes and his superb Nigerian accent. I even noticed one girl in tears. Axel Da Entertainer was another comedian who stole the show during the first half and had the entire audience in stitches! Other comedy acts included Prince Abdi, Babatunde, and KG who ended the show. Not only were several comedians present, but other performers provided a good balance between the acts. Brunel’s own poet, Teju (a fresher) brought her lyrical talent to the stage as she recited two of her own poems: An Eternal Truth and Storm of Lights. Rapper Yung Smiler, a second year also studying at Brunel performed too, so the show definitely had

a combination of everything to keep the audience occupied. To get the crowd involved, Aurie Styla also hosted a game show, which first year Brunellian Ella won! The highlight of the night for me, personally, was Kevin J, and I’m sure others would agree. The ACS put a lot of effort into producing a great show for the end of term, and despite the slightly late start there were smiles all round at the closing of the show.


A night filled with plenty of jokes, it was an appropriate mid-week event to end the term. 88888

Kings of Comedy, hosted by ACS

Review%<%Black&Swan Sumita Deb

Natalie Portman as Nina With Black Swan, we get to see Natalie Portman at her best. This psychological thriller takes you into the world of ballet and the fierce competition that comes with it. Nina (Portman) is a ballet dancer in New York City who is obsessed with perfection. When cast for the lead role of the swan queen in Swan Lake, she must perfect both the white and the black swan. This obsession with perfection leads her to a world of insanity where Nina’s perception of reality becomes so muddled with her imagination that it’ll even leave you wondering what is real and what is not. Aronofsky cleverly lays the backdrop to Nina’s personality from the beginning of the film. However, an initial glimpse into her mind set is altered when you realise, later on, that what you see is not necessarily what is going on. For those a little squeamish, cringe-worthy scenes which are bordering on the verge of selfharm will leave you wanting to look away whilst remaining glued to the screen. I myself have a very limited knowledge of ballet but you can see from Portman’s

ballet skills how beautiful her portrayal of the white swan is and the difficulty she faces in dancing the black swan; the beauty and serenity of ballet is mirrored by the psychological madness experienced by Nina personally. Mila Kunis plays Lily the black swan to Nina. Lily is Nina’s rival for the lead role, however, through the film it becomes difficult to distinguish whether this is in fact a real threat or just an imagined one by Nina due to her insecurity. Kunis appears in short bursts through the film, but the effect she leaves on Nina are extraordinary; it shows how much one person can affect another’s life. With the need for Nina to become the black swan, she begins to grow up from her child-like personality and starts opening up to her sexuality in very dramatic forms. There are elements of horror and the CGI effects toward the end of the film are brilliant. The scripting of the film, just like Nina, strives to be perfect. There are no unnecessary scenes and the use of the story of Swan Lake to, in some manner, mirror Nina’s life is ingenious. Natalie Portman has clearly given it her all in this movie. Her portrayal of a timid Nina is impeccable with the psychological breakdowns being terrifying. With many whisperings of an Oscar for Portman’s performance I have to say, if won, it is well and truly well deserved.


Brilliant performances all round. This film will give you an insight to the dark side of ambition. It’s not a happy film, but prepare to be astounded by its sinister dark edge and ingenious storyline. 88888

Digital%Copy:%A%step%in%the%right%direction%against%piracy Paul Dunn I didn’t get much this Christmas, but amongst the gifts I did receive was a copy of Inception. After profusely thanking the uncle who bought it for me, I took a closer look and noticed something strange; a little sticker on the front stating that the case contained copies of the film on BluRay, DVD and a Digital Copy. The more tech savvy amongst you will have to forgive me for being a bit behind the times here, but it gave me pause for thought. For those of you in the same boat as me, I’ll provide a bit of background information. Digital copies have been bundled with DVDs since 2007, and the practice is becoming increasingly common. This allows the owner of the DVD to input a code and download the film in the format of their choice to play on their computer, iPod, phone, PDA and (quite possibly) their toaster. This may not seem like such a big thing, but it is another weapon in the arsenal of piracy. Before the advent of the internet, piracy was a relatively small threat to distributors. In those days its spread was limited by the fact that the large majority of pirated films were low quality VHS tapes, often filmed

from the back of a cinema. To the modern observer this seems quaint; why bother with the risk of prosecution for a poor imitation of the actual product when you can simply put the DVD in your computer and run a simple program to “rip” a copy of the film with no loss of quality. To the distributors, this is a terrifying prospect, one statistic (culled randomly from the internet) states that around 75% of internet users have at some point illegally downloaded music or videos. In the past, methods of halting this have ranged from the blatant, with Digital Rights Management (DRM) software and legal attacks on file-sharing websites, to the subtle. It has been suggested that one of the reasons for the big push towards 3D films is that they make piracy less appealing; most people don’t have access to 3D screens in their own homes, and distributors have been keen to suggest that if you didn’t see the film in 3D, you missed out on a big part of the experience. The rise of digital copies can be seen as another step along this path, going after the demand for pirated media, rather than the supply. You see, people will always be able to illegally download films; no matter how

many people work out how to prevent it, the nature of the internet practically guarantees that even more will be finding ways to continue it. The thing is, the distributors know this too, and a lot of them know which battles are worth fighting. The idea behind this system is to give people an easy way of watching the films they own in the manner of their choosing, without having to resort to piracy. The purpose of this is clear; once someone sees how easy it is to pirate media, they are far more likely to do so again, so if a legal digital copy stops the viewer from taking that first step, they are less likely to pirate films in the future. It is my view that this can only be a good thing, but looking around the blogosphere to research this article a bit, I ran into quite a few posts claiming that all this does is give more money to the distributors. My response to this is as follows – of course it bloody does you cretins, but what you apparently fail to realise is that giving money to distributors is what drives the whole film industry. The other major complaint seems to be that, since these digital copies include DRM, you may not be able to watch it on every device you own. Well they’re right about that one; I obtained my digital copy

The oceans will rise/drowning small woodland creatures/then you’ll be sorry

through iTunes so I can only download the film to the measly five computers I can authorise, as well as any devices synced with those computers. Unfortunately, no plans have been announced by distributors to cater to the large number of people who want to watch their films on six or more computers at the same time. Shame on you film industry. Shame on you.

WRITE%FOR%US! Le Nurb accepts submissions from any Brunel student. See page 2 to find out how to get involved!

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

16 Coffee Break

Coffee Break Sudoku Easy

Difficulty: 55555










Difficulty: 55555


ROB’S TIME: 23m 08s










6 9



1 7

7 5

1 2

8 4


Difficulty: 55555

2 3

All the puzzles are tried and tested by the Le Nurb team, and you can see the fastest time next to each one. Your prize for beating us? A sense of smug satisfaction, and a warm, glowy feeling in your midriff.


ROB’S TIME: 5m 58s





























ROB’S SCORE: 10 in 10 mins EMMA’S SCORE: 10 in 10 mins, but only if ‘feng’ counts, which it doesn’t.



Find as many words as possible using letters from the grid. The words must be four letters or more, and contain the central letter, but each letter may not be used more than once. There is at least one word that uses all nine letters in the grid.








Ratings: 10-15 average

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

16-20 good

21-25 excellent

26 godlike


Comet Donner Prancer Rudolph Building Blocks Doll Drum Kit Teddy Bear Train Set



2:00am 2:30am 4:00am

Difficulty: 55555

On his Christmas rounds, Santa became stuck in five different chimneys and ended up very behind schedule. At what time was Santa rescued from each chimney, which child was he delivering what present to, and which reindeer hauled him out? 1. Craig didn’t get the train set. 2. Rudolph hauled Santa out of one chimney exactly 1 hour before Santa was rescued from Diana’s. 3. Building blocks were delivered to Ryan after 1:30am but before 4am. 4. Blitzen helped Santa out of one chimney exactly half an hour after Donner hauled him out of another. 5. Comet helped Santa out of James’s chimney, but this wasn’t the last time he got stuck. 6. The teddy bear was delivered directly before the doll, but not to Diana and wasn’t with Santa when Rudolph pulled him out. 7. Prancer did not help Santa when he was stuck in the chimney with the drum kit. 8. No reindeer helped Santa out of a chimney with a toy having the same initial as the reindeer’s name.



Train Set

Teddy Bear

Drum Kit


Building Blocks











ROB’S TIME: 22m 54s




Not sure where to start? Read Clues 1 and 3 carefully - we’ve filled in everything they tell you at first.


What’s the next letter in this sequence? 55555 OTTFFSS?

Next letter: Use eight 8’s to make 1000. You can use any mathematical operations, and combine the digits if you want. 55555

= 1000 Julia is as old as John will be when Julia is twice as old as John was when Julia’s age was half the sum of their present ages. John is as old as Julia was when John was half the age he will be 10 years from now. How old are John and Julia? 55555

John: My focus now shifts/apocalyptic visions/replacing slogans


January 2011!"!Le!Nurb

Coffee Break 17

Horoscopes ARIES!(March'21*April'20)


This month is not a good one for deep-sea crustaceans. We’re not sure why this is relevant to you but we’re assured that it is.`

Your attraction to the wrong kinds of people will increase over the coming weeks, including (but not limited to) cartoon characters, clowns and back bench politicians.



It’s too cloudy to see Taurus at the moment, and we really can’t be bothered to look it up. It’d probably be best if you avoid life this month, just in case

Work hard, keep your head down, and above all double check your spelling this month. Your life may well depend on it.



As the star sign to depict the Greek mythological twins Castor and Pollux you should have a chat with a Capricorn

You never really notice your sense of smell until it’s gone, not that has any relevance to you. Your arms on the other hand...



Avoid blue light this month, especially if it’s rushing toward you, flashing as it sits on top of a police car.

As Saturn aligns with Mars, the Moon is in the 2nd Quadrant. So tonight, it’s sex with twins.



Neptune is ascendant this month, and it looks angry. Keep an eye out for meteors aimed at your head.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re wrong, especially not lecturers, what do they know?



That pretty person over there keeps looking over. DONT LOOK! Jeez, make it obvious why don’t you? Subtly walk over and write your number on their forehead

You will spend this month getting to the bottom of things. You may well succeed, but remember, the bottom of things is sometimes ugly, and often smells bad.

4 5 6 7 2 9 3 1 8

7 3 9 5 8 1 6 4 2

6 4 8 1 9 3 2 7 5

9 1 5 2 7 8 4 6 3

2 7 3 4 6 5 1 8 9

3 6 4 8 5 7 9 2 1

1 9 7 6 3 2 8 5 4

5 8 2 9 1 4 7 3 6

4 1 3 8 9 7 2 6 5

9 6 2 5 3 1 4 8 7

8 7 5 6 2 4 3 1 9

6 2 8 7 4 9 1 5 3

3 9 7 1 5 8 6 4 2

5 4 1 3 6 2 9 7 8

2 5 4 9 8 6 7 3 1

1 3 9 4 7 5 8 2 6

7 8 6 2 1 3 5 9 4


8 2 1 3 4 6 5 9 7

Extreme Sudoku

Moderate Sudoku



This would be straight, but our hamster walked on the trackpad.

acid, acrid , aide, aire d, arid, cid cried, cro e Ratings: ci, dice, d ire, iced, id r, circa, cowardice riced, ride , ea, radio, , wadi, we raid, ir, weird, w wire, wire eirdo, wid rice, 11-15 a d e, wider, verage 17-22 g ood 23-28 e xcellent 29-00 g odlike

























Top recycling tip/catch party puke in buckets/drink recycled beer

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

18 Coffee Break

Dear Sir, In its November 2010 issue, Le Nurb reprinted an article first published in 2001 concerning a party held at the Academy with the theme “Pimps and Prostitutes”. I am offended by both the concept of this event and the decision to reprint this article. It celebrates a cultural expectation that women’s primary purpose in life is to act as the sexual property of men. The photo reinforces this view, positioning a fully-clothed male student against the backdrop of a seminude female student. I realise that it may be problematic to take issue with the party theme itself, if only in the sense that it took place nearly a decade ago. But I think it is worth questioning the decision to select this particular article and photo for re-publication, from a collection of likely hundreds if not thousands of others which might not be so incredibly sexist. Since this is a learning environment, I would like to point out that there is a field of academic study devoted to these kinds of issues known as ‘feminism’. I suggest that the editors of Le Nurb acquaint themselves with the concept. Sincerely, Clare Jackson The Editor responds: The article you refer to was printed in our November issue as part of our occasional “From the Archives” series, where light hearted articles from the Le Nurb archive (including Route 66, Le Nurb’s predecessor) are given a fresh airing. In the selection of articles from our archives we do not seek to present a sanitised view of UBS’ history. These types of events happened, and large number students actually enjoyed them – as you would have seen (“with tickets that sold like hotcakes”) had you read the article beyond the headline. Naturally such things don’t happen today; I refer you to the UBS policy on sexual content, which effectively prohibits such things from happening. Further, we do publish features that critically examine the role of women in today’s society from a female perspective: to name but two, “Women: Liberated or Undervalued” in our December issue and “Queen of Hearts” in September. Le Nurb goes through a rigorous censoring process prior to printing and distribution, at the hands of the UBS President and Media Chair. Finally – the image we used was a stock photo used for illustrative purposes only. If this caused you offence, then we apologise.

Dear Sir, I just had a look at Le Nurb for the second time, the first time I saw it on the floor in the loo after I had just registered at the uni and thought it was a really clever name. This time I actually looked inside the paper. I must say: well done, well done indeed. It is really quite good. I don’t often read newspapers because to be perfectly honest they’re as boring as shit; but I read one of the articles on the protest and it was really good. It got me thinking but then my head hurt so I stopped thinking. I flicked through the rest and then decided to check my horoscope. That was the best horoscope I have ever read, it was so accurate it was beyond belief as well as being a fantastic rip at astrology (I’m a Taurus btw). Very good paper, I may even read it tomorrow if I remember why it’s there. Oh I just read the foreword from the editor, that’s a beautiful reply and all, but can a kid really comprehend that? They should have thought that one through better. If you ever want budget recipes in your newspaper, I will be happy to supply you with some, and I promise they wont be “Buy pot noodles: read instructions: follow instructions: eat.” Oh wow that red bull story was amazing! I’m going to apply to that, thanks! Okay, I’m going to stop typing now because

this is starting to look like a really well typed drunken rant, and all I’ve had is cream cheese, but my temporal lobe is rather throbbing so I think I will go to bed. Brilliant paper! Don’t stop writing it! Yazmin Bunbury-Milton

Need a public rant? Want to thank someone for something? Maybe you just want to muse about events on campus. Whatever you want to say, you should email the Editor at! Messages should have “Letter to the Editor” in the email subject line, and be no longer than 300 words, unless by prior agreement with the editor.


Le Nurb accepts submissions from any Brunel student. See page 2 to find out how to get involved!

On my random browsings around the Internet I came across these amusing pictures from Alex Eylar. Eylar, 22, spends hours building these Lego models of scenes from his favourite films. He explains: “I’m a movie nerd of the highest degree. If I see a movie I like, there’s an excellent chance I’ll build it. The builds themselves usually take an hour or two. I light scenes like movie sets, anything to create a mood or an atmosphere or bring the recreation better to life.” Alex’s Flickr feed contains loads of these pictures from films he’s watched, as well as some illustrating how he sets up each shot and the bricks he uses to create them. See the rest of Alex’s pictures at: http://www. Reusing is good/when you finish reading this/give it to someone

January 2011!"!Le!Nurb

Frame & Shame 19


All photos by LeNurb chief photographer Adil Khan Deshmukh

Minimise your waste/buying only what you need/less to throw away

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

20 Sport

Sports#Federation#and#Guild#of#Societies#Update BUMS Overcome the challenges of 3 minibus breakdowns in two trips! Brunel University Mountaineering Society has got over 100 members. We have done 3 outdoor trips to the Peak District and Wales, have run our regular lessons at the Brunel climbing wall every Tuesday and Thursday, and started a new Sunday bouldering class. Our Social Secretaries have organised socials on nearly every week this term. We have had Academy nights, several meals, and a fun climbing session including zip lining and gladiator. Our website has had a re-design over the summer and is now used more than ever. Brunel Disability and Dyslexia Society Raised £150 in one day! We are mainly a social society where likeminded people get together to share their interests/issues. This term, we have held meetings where we have discussed our aims for the society, any issues, and our plans for next term. We held a stall back in October where we raffled off an iPod, had games, and sold Krispy Kreme Donuts. Next term, we are hoping to organise more socials, and to give the rest of the student body the opportunity to get more involved in the society. Dance Club Dance is now competitive. Dance club have had a very successful first term for 2010! Firstly, we are running a very successful outreach programme, where we teach in local schools and invite younger students to participate in our classes. Also, we participated in our first external competition, entering in 5 categories, with Hip Hop placing 3rd and a Brunel dancer getting freestyler of the night. We are looking forward to our own competition next year, along with our show for another hugely successful term!!

felt about the Club. Brunel’s Volleyball Club, also known as the Blackhawks, is one of the most improved sport clubs in year 2010/11. It has been active in various volleyball activities, i.e.: Volleyball England Student Cup in November 2010. The club has increased its level of playing from recreational to competitive in a very short time. The club itself is very active. It participated in many social events such as Freshers’ Fayre 2010 and “Academy Flirt Night!” to raise general awareness. Rowing Preparing for competition. Although rowing is an year-round sport, this time of year doesn’t bring much opportunity for competition. Our members have taken part in two big races on the Thames: at Henley and Hammersmith. Poker Set up its own league. The Poker Society has been holding a tenweek poker league throughout term 1 on Thursday evenings in Loco’s. Competition was tough, but at the end of the final tournament held in week 12, Johan Nayer came in third place, Rav Phgura in second place, and the winner of the Poker Society term one league crown was Daood Ahmed. Well done, Daood! Next term the society will be holding another league based tournament so if you would like to get involved email us at Tambourelli All are welcome at TamBrunel. TamBrunel has had a very successful first term. Our membership has increased to 40 with that amount regularly attending the Tambourelli session on Thursday 7-8:30pm in the Netball Hall. If you have been wondering whether you should get involved in some of the great sport here at Brunel but just want to get some exercise and have some fun with a great group of people, then come and try Tambourelli. You won’t be disappointed. Sailing Training in the freezing weather! We at Brunel Sailing have had a cracking year and can’t wait for 2011! Our racing team had great success at Loughborough and ‘sailed’ through Nationals, coming 5th overall. All that training in -6C weather paid off! We have a fantastic line up of competitions and events including qualifiers, the Brunel Badger and our Thames Cruise summer bash; everyone is welcome! Fancy joining the club for a summer filled with boats, water and a yachting trip to a Greek island? Volleyball Also known as the Blackhawks. “I feel good!“ sings James Brown in his famous song, and that is what Behrouz Behzadan, the Volleyball Men’s Captain, also sang when asked how he

Rugby Union (Women) Remain unbeaten! The luck that abandoned Women’s Rugby last year seems to be safely back on our side! Or might it be more to do with the talents we found at Freshers’ Fayre this year? Either way we’re back on form. With our new coach, new league, new players – including complete newbies to the sport – has come a new experience… Numbers on our side of the score board! And now having finished our last game of 2010 against Hertfordshire (63-12 anyone?) We remain unbeaten! So if you see a smug looking girl or two wondering around campus… they probably play rugby. Athletics Successes across the board. Brunel Athletics Club have been competing in the London College Cross Country League and training hard for the upcoming track season. Having completed four of the six league races, Brunel’s Cross Country squad have brought home some pleasing results, with the men’s team currently lying in 10th and the women’s team in 4th. There have been some notable improvements this year, including Rowan Axe winning each of the matches he has raced in and the women being able to enter a team for the first time in three years. Brunel Athletics look forward to continuing this success into the New Year. Equestrian The Equestrian club this year has reached and overtaken its target membership, reaching almost 50 members - the highest membership we are aware of! We’ve had huge interest in the club this year and have got more non-team riders than ever. We have three teams, all with the potential to reach regionals, and are training the less advanced riders to ride well enough to try out for teams next year and continue the high performance from this year!

Recycling is good/but it is just the first step/buy recycled stuff

Cult Film Introducing monthly screenings. In the first term the Cult Film Society has gained close to 60 members and held very successful weekly events, including introducing screenings of “White Dog” (with Julian Petley) and “Danger Diabolik” (with Leon Hunt). Our Freshers’ Week events were hugely popular, with the most well attended screenings being “A Clockwork Orange” and “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” We have also held joint screenings with several societies, including History, LGBT, and Psychology. Next term we hope to introduce an additional monthly event which will give us a chance to exhibit even more alternative films. Judo With backing from British Judo. Judo welcomed many new faces in to our family this year, setting the bar high with the largest number of members in recent memory and many new belts earned in gradings already! British Judo helped Brunel obtain funding for their active universities bid and are providing the university with funding for a permanent martial arts training area later this year. The Brunel team also travelled to Hillingdon Judo club and put on a dominant performance, coming away with numerous gold, silver and bronze medals and demonstrating that Brunel Judo is a force to be reckoned with. Watch this space! Roc Soc A very social society… We have met every Thursday in Loco’s to socialise. So far we have organised a few trips to London, including Sin City at the Electric Ballroom, Metal Warriors, and N.A.S.I.N. These nights proved to be a huge success. We had a pirate themed Academy night, which was again a great success and seemed to be enjoyed by all! Most recently we held a Christmas dinner, which was attended by many of the members and was a great way to round off the year.

January 2011!"!Le!Nurb

Sport 21

A!look!at!what!some!of!Brunel’s!many!Clubs!and!Societies!got!up!to!last!term Kung Fu All members have passed their grading. The first term was extremely busy for Brunel Kung Fu (Shaolin Nam Pai Chaun) as the grading approached in December 2010. After much hard work, new students who passed their mock-grading were invited to grade for their first belt, or higher grades for more established students. On 5th December, members of the Brunel club where joined by students from across Europe, at Kings College, London. Syllabus requirements were demonstrated in front of an expert panel. All Brunel students passed their grading with flying colours. The club was established in 2009 and now has students from white belt to 2nd Green belt. Tamil Auditions coming soon… Brunel Tamil Society is proud to welcome over 200 Tamil and Non-Tamil students this year who have shown great interest in the society and its activities. Since the beginning of the year BTS has launched a series of cultural and social events including The Fresher’s BBQ, the BTS Film Festival, and the Ice Skating Trip. Currently, Brunel Tamil Society’s Dance and Music Teams are conducting auditions aiming to discover talents to fill their ranks. In the second term BTS is looking forward to host their long anticipated Dinner & Dance Show, Exhibitions as well as to compete at Face Off – The Final (University Dance Battle). Rubgy Union (Men) Excellent coaching for all talents Men’s rugby union is a vibrant and welcoming club. The club caters for people of all talents, ranging from the social member to the keenest of players with two teams in place. The club has in place two excellent professional coaches and one student professional strength and conditioning coach. Training runs on a Monday 7-8 pm (3g pitches), Tuesday

7-8 pm (Cemetery pitches), Wednesday – Game day, Friday – Fitness (strength and conditioning in the IAC) 8-9 am. For further information please look upon our website.

Football (Men) Chances of winning all respective leagues So far this year, all our teams have been competitive and most have a chance of promotion or winning their respective leagues. Our murals on Wednesdays are going really well, and in January we hope to have started a 6-a-side boy’s and girl’s league. £2 per player per game with a £20 joining fee. We have had regular social events and plan on more throughout the year. You don’t have to be a member of BUAFC to join in, so come along! Football (Women) Top of the Futsal League Women’s Football 1st team are currently third in the BUCS Prem, winning 3 out of 5 games, with a special mention to Gemma Fraser scoring 2 hat tricks already this season!! The 2nd team are also doing well after being promoted last season, currently positioned second in their league after winning 2 of their 4 league games. Also, we have competed in the Futsal regional qualifiers, currently topping the league, and hoping for a place at the championships in Sheffield.

Cricket (Men) Record membership The cricket club has developed a lot since the start of term. The club has achieved higher member numbers this year, attracting 22 more members to the club with an all-time high of 76. We have had the new bowling machine delivered, enhancing the squad training sessions. We have also begun to establish links with the Middlesex County Cricket Board to give members more opportunities to enrol in and complete coaching courses. The indoor season has started well, with the team progressing to the semi-final of the BUCS indoor championship and winning the SESSA Indoor Cup.

ABACUS Busy first term ABACUS has had various food events over London at discounted prices, in which many Freshers from Brunel participated and had fun. There were about 80 Freshers (including Chinese, Taiwanese and Britishborn Chinese) who enjoyed the freshers’ dinner in a Chinese restaurant at West Drayton. We had our Christmas dinner at the Slug & Lettuce at Uxbridge. Our other events included: Freshers’ Dinner Boat Party on the Thames Winter Ball Christmas Dinner Later, we will be holding a Chinese New Year dinner, and perhaps a karaoke night.

Basketball:!Middlesex!miss!out!to!Men’s!Firsts Ben Vallely Despite rotten weather of the white and fluffy variety, indoor sport goes ahead – snow or no snow – and this home fixture between our local rival, Middlesex, had no chance of being called off. The only problem that could have been noted was a flickering scoreboard, which was very annoying to anybody not playing the game who could see it. Nobody seemed to know why it was flickering, and the game went ahead – I blame flashing Christmas tree lights somewhere in the building! Brunel have had a difficult season so far, but, after a slight personnel change and a back-to-basics approach, they started immediately a lot brighter than the last game to be reported for Le Nurb, against Oxford. Brunel gained possession from the start and quickly moved into an

8 – 2 lead. One similarity in this game to the loss against Oxford would be Brunel’s reluctance to follow in their own shots to try and get rebounds. As the game progressed, however, Brunel addressed this and brought success under the basket. The game progressed quickly, flowing easily from end to end, with Middlesex squandering more chances than Brunel, allowing the hosts to go into the first break ten points up at 26 – 16. Brunel seemed to be playing in a much more positive manner, with the number 4, Terrence Aryee, running rings around Middlesex. As Brunel continued to press in the second quarter, Middlesex managed to close the gap to just 3 points early on, before Brunel stretched their legs again. At one point, the Middlesex number 11 gave into a Didier Drogba-esque

mentality, claiming he was tripped (he slipped) and then throwing his water bottle at the wall of the Sports Hall when a decision wasn’t forthcoming... Brunel carried on completely nonplussed and finished the quarter with a flourish that included a slam dunk for the camera, followed by a big three points (both by Daniel Dunscombe) to leave the half-time score at 43 – 29. The third quarter was a much more measured affair, with the best passage of play from either team coming mid-way through the half. Middlesex worked the ball through Brunel’s defence but missed an absolute sitter, followed by a failed counter-attack apiece, before Brunel managed to set up Matt Carpenter for a big 3 pointer. The following minutes ticked by quickly, with no real advantage gained from either side. The quarter ended with Brunel still up, 59 – 43.

Choose what you buy well/avoid wasteful packaging/it only gets binned

Dunscombe dunks for 2 in Q2 Netball An active coaching scheme Brunel Netball is an extremely active and sociable club. All of our six competitive teams have maintained our high standards throughout the first half of the season, with the 1st team attaining an almost clean sheet and the 6th team sitting comfortably at the top of the table. The club also took a trip to Portsmouth on our annual mini-tour! The club’s Coaching and Ambassador Scheme has also been very active this term. High 5 coaches have been at West London Academy taking Years 5 and 6 in weekly sessions. This scheme has been such a success and is going to continue after Christmas. Tea Soc The Tea Society drank some tea.

Brunel kept up the pressure throughout the final quarter, scoring some nice 3s and numerous 2s to push through to victory in a very convincing manner. Middlesex’s number 11 spent most of the entire quarter continuing to throw his toys out of the pram, which harmed the away side’s efforts to peg back the difference as, when he had played, he’d shown promise. Brunel was unperturbed by his childish actions and made sure of a well-worked victory, drawing fouls on the attack and converting them to win. The only thing missing from such a sweet victory? A crowd in full voice! Brunel Basketball appreciate the support that you all give, so keep an eye out for the home fixtures, and come along and get behind the boys.


Brunel 78 – 53 Middlesex

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

22 Sport

Target#Shooting:#Both#teams#on#target#for#honours Tom Leonard Barely a month into the first term, the annual BUCS Inter-University .22 Target Shooting League was commencing. After a very successful start to the term, Brunel University Target Shooting Club entered 2 teams into the league. The A Team consisting of Gareth Corfield, Jon Fletcher, Jim Starley, Chris Green, Sam Andress, and Bianca Nicklen - was placed in Division 3, with an average of 559/600, and the B Team consisting of Russell West, Justin Wei, Daniel Wilkin, Michael Staples, Simon Brockie, and Alex Boden - was placed in Division 6, with an average of 499/600 After lots of commitment, coaching, and practice from all team members, everyone put in a strong performance, mostly shooting above average under pressure, and performing well when it mattered. The scores for the first three rounds were collated and submitted before Christmas, with promising results received in time for the start of term. Our A Team won 2 out of the 3 rounds, narrowly losing round 1 to the division leaders by only 1 point out of 600! A strong total score leaves our A Team in second place in the division after 3 rounds,

Jim Starley taking aim with 7 more to shoot. Our B Team put in an even stronger performance, convincingly winning all 3 rounds and leading the division. Congratulations to everyone who achieved a spot in the teams after a tough selection: Daniel Wilkin and Michael Staples, who were new to the sport and put in strong performances for the B team; and also Chris Green and Jim Starley, who shot new personal bests with the A Team, scoring 99 and 97 respectively. Hopefully these strong performances can continue into the New Year, supporting high hopes that both teams can win their divisions for the first time in the club’s history!

BUCS League 2010/2011 Division 3 Position Team 1 2 3 4 5 6

Newcastle Univ RC B Brunel University A St Andrews Univ A Southampton Univ C Univ of Exeter B Div 3 Bye

BUCS League 2010/2011 Division 6 Position Team 1 2 3 4 5 6

Brunel University B Cardiff University B Newcastle Univ RC D Durham Univ D Durham Univ C Div 3 Bye







3 3 3 3 3 3

3 2 2 2 0 0

0 0 0 0 0 0

0 1 1 1 3 3

6 4 4 4 0 0

1,695 1,693 1,680 1,652 999 0







3 3 3 3 3 3

3 2 2 2 0 0

0 0 0 0 0 0

0 1 1 1 3 3

6 4 4 4 0 0

1,548 1,584 1,544 1,444 1,295 0

Brunel#Sport#Results Wednesday 1st December 2010 Team M Badminton 1s M Badminton 2s W Badminton 1s M Basketball 1s M Basketball 2s W Basketball 1s M Fencing W Fencing M Football 1s M Football 2s M Football 3s M Football 4s M Football 5s W Football 1s W Football 2s Golf 1s Golf 2s M Hockey 1s M Hockey 2s M Hockey 3s W Hockey 1s W Hockey 2s W Hockey 3s Lacrosse Netball 1s Netball 2s Netball 3s Netball 4s Netball 5s Netball 6s Rugby League M Rugby 1s M Rugby 2s W Rugby M Squash 1s M Squash 2s M Squash 3s M Table Tennis 1s M Table Tennis 2s M Tennis 1s M Tennis 2s W Tennis 1s M Volleyball

Score No Match No Match Postponed 78 – 53 No Match No Match No Match Walkover to Brunel No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match 0–2 No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match 5–0 No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match Walkover to Brunel



N/A N/A N/A Middlesex N/A N/A N/A City 1s N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A Royal Holloway 1s N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A Sussex 2s N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A Bucks New Uni. 1s


Wednesday 8th December 2010 Team Men’s Badminton 1s Men’s Badminton 2s Women’s Badminton1s Men’s Basketball 1s Men’s Basketball 2s Women’s Basketball 1s Men’s Fencing Women’s Fencing Men’s Football 1s Men’s Football 2s Men’s Football 3s Men’s Football 4s Men’s Football 5s Women’s Football 1s Women’s Football 2s Golf 1s Golf 2s Men’s Hockey 1s Men’s Hockey 2s Men’s Hockey 3s Women’s Hockey 1s Women’s Hockey 2s Women’s Hockey 3s Lacrosse Netball 1s Netball 2s Netball 3s Netball 4s Netball 5s Netball 6s Rugby League Men’s Rugby 1s Men’s Rugby 2s Women’s Rugby Men’s Squash 1s Men’s Squash 2s Men’s Squash 3s Men’s Table Tennis 1s Men’s Table Tennis 2s Men’s Tennis 1s Men’s Tennis 2s Women’s Tennis 1s Men’s Volleyball

Living with your friends?/get them to recycle as well/do it as a group

Score No Match No Match No Match Postponed No Match Postponed No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match Postponed No Match Postponed No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match 0–1 0–3 No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match Postponed No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match



N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A Bath 1s Royal Holloway 1s N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A

L----X--XWW-LWLW--W-LWWWW-W----WLLL-L-W-L---LL---L---WW--XW-X-W-L---WW---WW--X--WLL-L ---LL -L---LL-WLW-L-W-W-L-W-W-L---WW---WL-L-W-L---W----WWW-WW---W-LWW-LW--WWL--W---WL-L-LW-

January 2011!"!Le!Nurb

Sport 23

RAG!Week!Event:!24"Hour! Ben Vallely Snow was falling, and the Umpires were late, but Cardiff managed to make the trek up the M4 for the second-to-last fixture of the term. Brunel turned out in force (sort of) to provide a crowd for this nice indoor-y sport, but they were a quiet bunch. One lonely Irishman could be heard above everyone, sporadically shouting encouragement in his distinctive tones, sounding totally alone on the bleachers despite being surrounded. Bless. Could the girls give him something to cheer about as the game progressed? Brunel won the toss, meaning they got to take the first centre, and they put their foot on the pedal almost immediately. Scoring first, Brunel gave up a goal to Cardiff, before racing to a 5 – 1 lead in a matter of seconds. Cardiff managed to get a couple back, but Brunel then just kept going, pushing through to a 19 – 7 first interval score, at one point scoring six on the bounce. A key element against a strong Cardiff side would be Brunel’s ability to hold off a voracious attack, whilst pushing through to ensure that the opposition’s defence went home with their heads in their hands. The second quarter showed that the away team weren’t going to give up the game without

a fight. Both teams started playing scrappy Netball however, with the Umpires doing their best to let the match flow, but on numerous occasions having no choice but to blow up for infringements. Cardiff attacked strongly and won the quarter, outscoring Brunel by 12 – 15 to make it 31 – 22 at half time. Brunel were riled by this defensive loss, and pushed on in the third quarter, taking no prisoners. They scored 20 goals (with Cardiff only scoring 6 in reply) once even scoring 9 in a row. Cardiff obviously felt they had no answer to Brunel to overturn a 23-point deficit, only scoring three times in the final quarter. Brunel scored a further 17 times, with some slick passing and good interceptive play to win the ball back following Cardiff’s Centre Passes. The frustration of the Cardiff players showed at times, with their Goal Defence continually arguing with the Umpire’s decisions. Brunel outclassed Cardiff in every area for much of the game, keeping level heads and putting together a very strong performance as a unit. With the snow falling the way it was, Cardiff’s journey home couldn’t have been fun, especially following such a loss.

FINAL!SCORE Brunel 68 – 31 Cardiff

Brunel!Sport!Results Wednesday 15th December 2010 Team Men’s Badminton 1s Men’s Badminton 2s Women’s Badminton1s Men’s Basketball 1s Men’s Basketball 2s Women’s Basketball 1s Men’s Fencing Women’s Fencing Men’s Football 1s Men’s Football 2s Men’s Football 3s Men’s Football 4s Men’s Football 5s Women’s Football 1s Women’s Football 2s Golf 1s Golf 2s Men’s Hockey 1s Men’s Hockey 2s Men’s Hockey 3s Women’s Hockey 1s Women’s Hockey 2s Women’s Hockey 3s Lacrosse Netball 1s Netball 2s Netball 3s Netball 4s Netball 5s Netball 6s Rugby League Men’s Rugby 1s Men’s Rugby 2s Women’s Rugby Men’s Squash 1s Men’s Squash 2s Men’s Squash 3s Men’s Table Tennis 1s Men’s Table Tennis 2s Men’s Tennis 1s Men’s Tennis 2s Women’s Tennis 1s Men’s Volleyball

Score No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match 122 – 135 No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match 4–1 1–0 No Match No Match No Match 3–0 No Match 2–1 No Match 7–2 No Match 40 – 39 20 – 22 No Match No Match No Match No Match 15 – 16 No Match 32 – 9 63 – 12 No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match No Match

No ducks will be harmed during this match Leon Carter To kick-off the start of RAG week, the Brunel Barbarians are running a 24-hour Touch Rugby League game! Are we mad? Yes! But we need your support! Anyone can join in on the day at whatever time you would like. All we ask is that you give a donation. It does not matter if you have not played before, as we will be teaching the game as we go along. “In addition to taking part in the game, there

will be a variety of other activities taking place to help raise money. These will include a raffle, where you have the chance to win a signed England RL match ball. There will also be a chance to go up against your friends on the Wii and at table football. Please come down to the IAC and support us at any time from our 12pm (noon) kick off on Saturday the 15th, to 12pm on Sunday. We are putting in as much money to RAG as we can as a club and would love it if you can help us too!




N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A Imperial N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A Birmingham UWE 1s N/A N/A N/A Reading 2s N/A Bristol 1s N/A Imperial Medics 2s N/A UWIC 1s Kings 1s N/A N/A N/A N/A Exeter 2s N/A Imperial Medics 2s Hertfordshire 1s N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A

----X---WW--WLW--W--WWW--W----W-L LL---W------L---L---WW--W XW--W -W------W---WW--W X---LL-LW --LLL---W LL--LW--W -W--L -L---W------W---WL--L -W------W ----W WWW-WW---W--WW--W---WL--W---WL---LW--

Please note that all fixtures are subject to change. Start times and Venues may differ from those supplied at the time of going to print. Keep an eye out as fixtures get close and details may be released by the clubs in question. Not all home matches may be listed.

19th January 2011 Team M Badminton 2s M Basketball 2s M Football 5s W Football 2s Golf 2s W Hockey 1s W Hockey 2s Netball 2s Netball 5s Rugby League M Rugby 1s M Rugby 2s M Table Tennis 1s M Tennis 2s W Tennis 1s



Start Time

Roehampton 1s Brighton 1s Imperial 3s Kent 1s Portsmouth 2s Oxford 1s Portsmouth 1s Portsmouth 1s Bucks New Uni. 2s Gloucester 3s Sussex 1s Portsmouth 2s Kent 1s Surrey 2s Brighton 1s

TBC Sports Hall Site 5 Site 5 Stockley Park Golf Club Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Netball Hall Netball Hall Site 5 Site 5 Site 5 Exercise Studio TBC Outdoor Courts, Brunel

TBC 19:00 TBC TBC TBC TBC TBC 14:45 13:00 TBC TBC TBC 16:00 TBC TBC



Start Time

Kingston 1s St. Mary’s 1s Portsmouth 1s Bucks New Uni. 2s Canterbury CC 1s St. Mary’s 1s Royal Holloway 2s Bath 1s Kingston 1s Westminster 1s Oxford 2s Reading 2s

Sports Hall Sports Hall Exercise Studio Stockley Park Golf Club Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Netball Hall Netball Hall Outside Courts, Brunel TBC TBC


26th January 2011 Team M Basketball 1s W Basketball 1s W Fencing Golf 1s M Hockey 1s M Hockey 2s W Hockey 3s Netball 1s Netball 3s Netball 5s Rugby League M Rugby 2s

Next month something new/iambic pentameter/that sounds like a bitch...

Le#Nurb#(#January 2011

24 Sport

Le#Sport Rugby#League:#Brunel#edged#out#in#tense#thriller# SPORT#CONTENTS

Adil Khan Deshmukh The Brunel Barbarians came into their clash against Exeter having received an absolute thumping in the reverse fixture. The team had been dogged by injuries in the previous tie, resulting in the 94-10 defeat at the hands of their promotion rivals. From this point, the only certainty was that the performance of the team could only improve. The Barbarians can be commended for their admirable response to the thrashing, with them able to keep Exeter at bay for long periods of the first half. The reverse match against Exeter happened three weeks before and the lack of match practice did not deter Brunel from holding their own. Almost all of the scoring happened in the first half with tries from Matt Sheppard, Jake Alsop and Rich Varney. Two of the tries went unconverted, however, and the teams went into the interval at 14 points apiece. The second half was completely dominated by both defences; neither team could score a try in the half. The lack of scoring for both sides was also due to handling errors, and with neither side utilising good territory to their advantage. If there was to be a winner in this match, it would come about either by a moment of brilliance or a howling error. A moment of quick thinking from Jake Alsop let him score a drop goal, giving Brunel a one-point lead. Brunel’s defence looked like it was capable of keeping Exeter at bay, having

Adil Khan Deshmukh

Troy Elkes the battering ram managed to shutout Exeter for the whole of the second half. Brunel then gave away a penalty approximately 25 metres out; the visitors subsequently kicked the penalty and the referee blew the whistle for full time.

Although the Barbarians just lost the match in the last second, due to indiscipline in defence, it should not be forgotten that they lost to Exeter 94-10 only three weeks before. Brunel should be proud of their recent performance,





















Barbarians v Exeter Indoor Success First team v Cardiff Rugby League Event 15th December 2010 19th and 26th January 2011 Latest Results Update

1st and 8th December 2010 Middlesex mullered Clubs/Socs Updates

and there is no doubt that they will be raring to go when their highly-packed fixture schedule starts again this term.

FINAL#SCORE Rugby League – Brunel 15 – 16 Exeter

Cricket:#Freshers#Flourish#in#Indoor#Triumph Tom Leonard BUCC saw some fresh faces in the team for the SESSA Indoor Tournament at the Barking and Dagenham College in Romford. Due to the late arrival of one of the teams, Brunel got the opportunity to get their eyes in with a warm up game. Things did not go to plan, and Brunel were beaten fairly easily; the new rules and specific styles of batting and bowling (completely different to BUCS) took the team by surprise - but this was no excuse. After a team-talk to discuss tactics, standin Captain Tom Leonard won the toss and chose to back his bowlers against Richmond College. With the length of each innings only 4 overs, the bowlers had to keep things tight, and Filmer, Knibbs, Warden, and Fieldhouse proved a bowling attack not to be taken lightly. They bowled the ball at a good line and length, making it very difficult for Richmond to score runs, and giving the batsmen just 17 to chase in their 4 overs. The opening pair of Leonard and Walters lost a few wickets (which results in the loss of 5 runs each) but put on enough for Grinstead and Kanji to breeze past 17 for the loss of just

Another piece of silverware courtesy of Brunel Cricket 1 wicket. This put the team within a game of the final. Between games, the Brunel boys were given a boost when top team Portsmouth were eliminated from the competition by a plucky Middlesex side. London South Bank stood in the way of the final; Brunel won the toss and again bowled first, cue wickets galore! A mixture of fantastic bowling, keeping, and fielding

followed from all the players; mention must go to Warden’s direct hit from a long distance, restricted LSBU to -11. All Brunel had to do was bat and not lose many wickets. Despite Leonard and Walters’ free-scoring manner, however, miscommunication resulted in 2 late run outs which left Brunel -3 after 2 overs. When Grinstead and Kanji took to the crease, an early run out put us on -7! But sensible

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batting got Brunel back into the positive and Middlesex awaited us in the final. Again Brunel won the toss and bowled first. Another outstanding performance by the bowlers kept Middlesex’s total to a modest 16. Senior bowler Warden lead by example, and Freshers Filmer and Knibbs and PostGrad Fieldhouse backed him up, proving they could be a part of this Brunel team come the summer. The batting was much easier for the batsmen by now, and if it wasn’t for a late run out, it would have almost been a perfect innings. Leonard and Walters laid the foundations, and finishers Grinstead and Kanji brought the team home for a hard-fought but well-deserved win; Brunel were once again the 2010 Champions of Southern England!


Tom Leonard (Captain) Adam Walters Jack Grinstead (Wk) Vishal Kanji Dan Filmer Sam Fieldhouse Will Knibbs

Issue 52010/11  
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