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November 2010 - Le Nurb

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November 2010

“We will march”

...will you?

See page 14

BRUNEL WILL MARCH Priya Pallan Higher Education is being pushed into radical transformation, University life as we know it is about to change forever. With both the Browne review and the government’s comprehensive spending review being published within the space of a week, the future of Higher Education funding is at best uncertain, and quite possibly very bleak. The budget for higher education is to be slashed from its present level of £7.1 billion per year to £4.2 billion a year. That’s a whopping 40% cut to the budget. The Coalition Government has seized on the recommendations of the Browne review and has indicated that a massive increase in fees will be used to make up the shortfall: that is, it will be the individual student who bears the costs of this shift of investment. This proposal clearly indicates a shift of responsibility from one party - the state as a whole, to another - the individual student. Indeed, many argue students should be bearing the burden of sky high fees because it is they (US) who benefit. They quote statistics which suggest the average graduate earns an extra £100,000 over their lifetime compared to a non graduate. Quite significant? Correct me if I am wrong here, but if the average graduate works for 40 years;

that is only an extra £2.5k per year over a non graduate. Oh, and let’s not forget these are AVERAGES – averages include graduate doctors (upwards of £50k per annum), management consultants, and of course investment bankers … that skews the average a bit doesn’t it? Does this argument justify fees of up to £12,000 per year? There are three beneficiaries of Higher Education; the individual student, society (the national economy)

and the businesses who EMPLOY us when we graduate. To my mind it is only fair that all three parties invest in the graduates of this country in a FAIR, balanced and reasonable rate. A rate which won’t discourage students, saddle us with huge debt at the start of our working life (and for many of us throughout a large proportion of them!), and plunge us into a market place where we may have to choose the “best I can afford” rather than “the best I can

Demonstration of marching

Please Recycle

ACHIEVE”. As for the third spoke in this wheel of funding? I don’t hear much from businesses as to how THEY contribute to Higher Education … just how they profit. Over the past month, the Officers and I, alongside the majority of Students Unions across the country, have been busy preparing for the demonstration on Wednesday 10th of November 2010. This day will see the NUS (National Union of Students) and the UCU (University College Union) unite staff and students from across the country to march against the cuts being imposed on higher education. The cuts will affect all universities across the country, some more than others. As universities attempt to balance the books in a fundamentally altered financial landscape; there will be job losses, department closures, and reductions in student support. We all value higher education - that is why we are here. If you have just arrived at Brunel, march for YOUR student experience, for the next years of your degree. If you are a final year student, march for the future of your family, your friends and children. If you are a Brunel Graduate, show support and fight for the institution that supported you. If you are staff, march to show solidarity with our students, to state your dissatisfaction with funding cuts to education. March to protect the quality of what you deliver, and to ensure that the University is not plunged into a dark cloud of financial uncertainty. So, staff and students alike, join us on 10.11.10 and make our voice even stronger. Be part of history and stand up for our rights. Join us and march to secure the future of a fair and accessible higher education system. To find out more and how you can support, please visit www., or join us on Facebook: Brunel Will March 2010-11-10.

Le Nurb - November 2010

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Foreword from the Editor

Gaz Corfield - Editor A bright, warm, happy November to you all! Oh alright, it’s actually cold, wet and miserable, but who says you can’t be cheerful? This month we have the NUS demo, complete with the official UBS contribution – although, as many of you have (rightly) pointed out, the demo itself isn’t a completely popular move. Being the even-handed publication that we are, we’ve corrected our previous stance and published a selection of opposing views. As time goes on, I do find it quite interesting how various parts of the University and the Union interact with each other. I’m not shy of admitting that I had virtually no involvement with the SU for my first two years here, and the only bit of the university I ever had any interest in was the Hub. Well, that and the Sports Centre, but that was only for the time that I was running the Target Shooting Club – who, by the way, meet on Thursdays in the Exercise Studio between 6pm and 8pm! Being editor of this publication certainly has opened my eyes to new things; how the SU and the university liaise with each other over issues like the future of sport at Brunel; how coverage of certain issues simply can’t be neutral (you always get dragged into being for or against certain things. Such is the way of the world); and how to create a working newspaper from scratch. A useful life skill, that last one. Cheers, Gaz

COMPLAINTS All comments and complaints about content in Le Nurb should be addressed to the Editor in the first instance: Complaints will only be entertained where it can be proven that an article or graphic is: factually inaccurate; breaches the Press Complaints Commission’s Editors’ Code of Practice; breaches the National Union of Journalists’ Code of Conduct; breaks the law; or encourages readers to break the law. No complaint that fails to satisfy at least one of these criteria will be upheld.

This Month... 03




International business deals and music

Updates from the Student Officers













Fees and the future of defence

... through London!

Live at the Academy & Black History Month

Pink Night

Yet more pleasant little timewasters

Brunel kicks balls


Editor Deputy Editor Deputy Editor (Admin) Secretary

Gaz Corfield Ben Moxey Andrew Elliott Josie Daw

News Editor Features Editor Arts & Reviews Editor Sport Editor

Amy Blackford Natasha Prayag Paul Dunn Ben Vallely


Chief Designer Designers

FILE FORMAT Please send articles as an MS Word compatible document (.doc or .docx format), with a filename containing your article headline, and your name. We do not accept Microsoft Works (.wps), OpenOffice documents (.odt), or any other proprietary format. IMAGES Images should be .jpg or .png format and attached separately. Please don’t embed images into Word documents: this compresses them too much for use on the page. You should, however, include the image file name, and any image credits (who the photographer is) at the end of your article. Images you submit must not be copyrighted by another individual or organisation. Please don’t just nick pictures off Google Image Search; we can’t use them 99% of the time! Images should always be submitted with a caption. ARTICLE LENGTH Articles should be no longer than 450 words unless discussed in advance with the Section Editor. SEND TO: - General enquiries & complaints - News articles - In-depth articles on a given topic - Reviews and non-news articles about the arts - Everything sport-related DEADLINE FOR INCLUSION IN ISSUE 4: Articles: Monday, November 22. Advertising: Thursday, November 25.

Thirty-Nine Words from the Chief Designer’s Style Guide

Vic Jeganathan Robert Hunt Enya Williams Adam James James Squire

Issue 4 out December 2nd.

“All pages have 4 colloums with for each collum is 63.756 mm and the far left collum should allign with the BLUE line on the left and the right colloum should allign to the right hand side BLUE guid line.” (yes, he was sober when he wrote this! - Ed.)

More from Vic next month.

All articles and pictures © their respective authors unless otherwise indicated. Views expressed are those of the writers and do not reflect the official position of UBS or Brunel University. Published by: Union of Brunel Students, Cleveland Road, Uxbridge. UB8 3PH Printed by: Harmsworth Printing Derby, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby, DE1 2BH

November 2010 - Le Nurb

News 3 Template about this incident.

Telsha Arora Claire Mason A homosexual Brunel student says he has been left “traumatised” after a nightmare night out. The 20-year-old was out with university friends at Liquid nightclub in Uxbridge. The group were enjoying their night until a fight broke out beside their table. The group’s night got worse when a burly bouncer then apparently made his way over and, the student claims, proceeded to aggressively eject him from the club. After the student explained that he had nothing to do with the incident, the bouncer allegedly stated “your kind shouldn’t be in here anyway, you’re disgusting.” The student said that he believes this to be a direct homophobic comment and attack. The alleged force of the bouncer left him fearing his shoulder would be dislocated altogether and resulted in painful bruising. He further told how this incident has left him “shaken” and “shocked”. It is worrying to think that Liquid’s staff may need to have their behaviour and attitudes severely re-evaluated. Stephen Lynn, a spokesman for Liquid, had this to say about the actions of their staff: “It is unfortunate that they are unable to detect every incident at its immediate time of occurrence which on some occasions

results wrong person [sic] being identified.” Regarding the accusation of bigotry, Mr Lynn responded with the following: “Liquid and its parent company will not tolerate any form of discrimination and takes any accusation of this nature very seriously. A full investigation will take place and on completion of this investigation the

Image captured at Liquid Uxbridge, Weds 27th October 2010

The Antonin Artaud building, located at the southwestern corner of campus Shaun Handy The cheapest alcohol on the Brunel campus, live music and an evening of unique entertainment; who knew that the Artaud building did more than just teach Drama students, and host the occasional, dreaded, Academic Practice lesson. Arts @ Artaud, the University’s very own talent show, but without any Simon Cowell wannabes and with a whole load of class. There are no judges, no public votes and no odd Jedward style acts, just the respect of the crowd and an appreciation of art in all forms.

appropriate action will be taken.” With regular student nights being held there and it being the local club for students in the area, this may well prove damaging to their profits. For now, the student is still feeling fearful of ever going there again, and not surprisingly so are numerous other gay students from Brunel, upon hearing

Editor’s note: Liquid Uxbridge has been in contact with Le Nurb regarding this alleged incident: “All staff of Liquid & Envy are vetted and trained to the required standard and it is hoped that in every circumstance all staff acting on our behalf would remain polite and courteous at all times. I would not like any customer visiting our venue to feel they had been discriminated against and any form of discrimination will not be tolerated.”

It’s an evening where virtually anything goes: singers, actors, poets, writers, dancers, artists... if you want to perform then you have a performance space, and, sometimes more importantly, an audience willing to see what you have got to show them. Arts @ Artaud is certainly diverse. Witnessing the different kinds of acts: watching, listening and, in places, viscerally feeling the character in the performance was highly enjoyable. To find out dates, upcoming acts and how to get yourself involved then join the Facebook group by typing “Arts @ Artaud” into the search bar.

Brunel - university of where? Ajay Nair Brunel University have been trying to come to an agreement with another university, regarding their plan to re-brand this month. Thames Valley University were granted permission to re-brand themselves as ‘The University of West London’ by the privy council in August, earlier this year. Brunel University objected to the decision, claiming that Brunel had always been associated with the West London area. Thames Valley University were planning on unveiling their new brand and logo at the

Image rights reserved: flickr/ashleybaz

end of October, but have decided to continue talks with Brunel and go ahead with the rebrand in April next year instead. A Brunel University spokeswoman said: “We are in discussion over creating a coexistence agreement for future branding strategies”. Thames Valley University have already spent £50,000 on the new branding and administration costs. They are putting their plans on hold even though they have already been given the go ahead. The decision to change their name comes after moves to place more emphasis on TVU’s west London campuses.

Le Nurb - November 2010

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Nazia Dewji A Brunel University student will be living off £10 a week for the next eight months. Catherine Lux, 19, hopes to raise £4000 for charity with her £10-a-week challenge. Four weeks in, she has lost four kilos and admits she misses sugar the most. “I have a very sweet tooth and I’ve always snacked loads so I’ve been missing things like ice cream, chocolate and sweets.” Catherine has also had to forego trips into central London, eating out and going to the theatre. All this has had to be traded in for DVDs, books and a savings pot to afford to venture outside of Uxbridge. The £10 a week pays for basic food rations but does not include rent and bills. The idea of living on £10 a week stemmed from Catherine realising she would not qualify for a full student loan and would have to live on a tight budget. As it turned out her parents decided to fit the bill so she turned her plan into a charity venture. The money raised will go towards Tommy’s and Home-Start, as well as Lupus UK and Hughes Syndrome – two charities which Catherine feels particularly

Rosie Hayes Chancellor George Osborne has unveiled a new spending review after months of heated debate with ministers about UK spending cuts. The £81 billion cuts package will be the biggest in decades, and will hit many sectors including welfare, councils, and police. Mr Osborne’s hour long statement in the Commons claimed the cuts to departmental budgets were less severe than previously thought. Local Councils will be hit fairly hard as their government funding will be cut by 7.1% in April. A planned rise in the state pension age will start six years earlier than planned in 2020, which will raise the retirement age for men and women to 66. Rail fares will be allowed to increase after 2012, higher education spending will be cut, and up to 500,000 public sector jobs could be

Rebecca Chaouch Three London councils plan to merge their services to generate savings of between £50m and £100m a year. Desperate times have called for desperate measures. The Conservative boroughs of Hammersmith & Fulham, Kensington & Chelsea, and Westminster have decided to unite, just after the government announced significant cuts to the main local authority grant.

strongly for. “The day I planned it all, my aunty died very suddenly. We had become close over the past couple of years and she was more like the big sister I never had. I felt I needed to do the challenge for her so no one else has to go through what we went through.” With student-life being as expensive as ever, Catherine has found a few ways to save the pennies. She arrives early to nightclubs to avoid paying entry and sticks to tap water all night - luckily she doesn’t enjoy drinking very much. The Orange Wednesday buy one get one free cinema ticket has also been a hit. She said: “I’m hoping more people will start donating soon when they realise that I am actually doing this and taking it seriously, I’m not just going to give up.” With Christmas being an expensive time of year, Catherine has planned ahead. All her Christmas presents will be bought with Boots Advantage Card points. Of her challenge so far, Catherine said: “I’ve learnt that people aren’t as willing to donate to charity as they make out.”


Read Catherine’s blog at:

lost by 2015. Mr Osborne said that the redundancies in the public sector were unavoidable when the country had run out of money. Government departments facing cuts include the Home Office, Foreign Office and Cabinet office. Next month each government department will set out reform plans for the next four years. The budget for new social housing will be cut by 60% over four years, which will be a devastating blow to low income families on housing waiting lists. The Chancellor insisted that tough action was needed to end the debt crisis, however he was met with criticism from the shadow Chancellor, Alan Johnson for Labour, who said the review stifled a “fragile recovery.” He even went further to suggest that the government bench cuts described were an “ideological objective” and what they had come into politics for.

Every service would be shared –from chief executives and senior directors to street cleaners and social workers- but each authority should carry on having its own elected council leaders. If the plan goes through, the new “super council” could be bigger than Glasgow or Leeds. Communities Secretary Eric Pickles encouraged the move, saying he hopes it will lead the way for other councils. Colin Barrow (Westminster), Stephen Greenhalgh (Hammersmith and Fulham)

Catherine’s weekly budget

Image: altogetherfool

George Osborne and Sir Merrick Cockell (Kensington and Chelsea) aim to “reduce duplication and drive out needless cost”. Furthermore, “we need to seriously examine new ways of working including sharing service provision with other local authorities to deliver more for less.” Labour fear a decline in the services provided, with the fact that decisions would be made by unaccountable town hall officials. Labour Group leader for Westminster council Paul Dimoldenberg accuses “ideologically-driven Conservatives to cut services regardless of the personal cost to those who depend on public

services”. While Westminster and Hammersmith and Fulham are already working to merge their children’s services department, working groups have been set up to report back by February about more detailed plans. Appearing on BBC Radio 4, Stephen Greenhalgh said: “Clearly if you have less money to spend you are not going to be able to safeguard every job and we are going to see significant reductions in staff but this is about squeezing every penny, every pound, to protect frontline services,” United we stand, divided we fall?

November 2010 - Le Nurb

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In brief... Road to... er, nowhere.

Adam Martley Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has apologised to a student in Nottinghamshire after breaking his election campaign pledge on tuition fees. The Deputy Prime Minister promised before the election to vote against any rise in the fees and it is still Lib Dem policy to scrap them. Mr Clegg said during a public appearance at a secondary school with David Cameron intended to explain the cuts that he now regrets making the pledge. The coalition government has supported Lord Browne’s review on higher education funding which says that the current cap of £3,290 should be lifted. Student Jodie Goulding told Nick Clegg that higher fees would be unfair on future students and the audience applauded her comments.

Mr Clegg replied: “I feel really bad, really bad. I have gone back on a pledge that I find now I cannot deliver. I would love to live in a world where every single promise I ever made I could deliver...” David Cameron and the Lib Dem leader were also challenged by a Multiple Sclerosis sufferer on the cuts recently announced by the government. 52-year-old Margaret Lynch said: “You are really picking on the weakest people in society and it is completely unfair how you have applied the budget cuts.” The Institute for Fiscal studies has claimed the cuts are regressive rather than progressive, arguing that the lowest 10% of earners will suffer the most. However, the Deputy Prime Minister said the Comprehensive Spending Review was fairer and more balanced than others had suggested.

Chinese officials in Guangzhou, China have failed in naming the province’s newest superhighway. The original intention was to name it in honour of a local Communist Party leader, but Town Hall committees couldn’t decide which. This was then forgotten until 2 months later, when the interim name “XXX” was used on road signs and a member of the public posted a picture of the sign online, prompting an official spokesperson to say: “(We) hope the public will continue to supervise (our) works.”

Image: Liberal Democrats

Nick Clegg, Deputy Prime Minister

Shoruk Khaddour An inquest has heard how former Sterophonics drummer, Stuart Cable, choked to death on his own vomit after a three-day drinking binge. Cable’s partner Rachel Jones made the gruesome discovery at his home in South Wales. Detective Sergeant Richie Jones described the rocker’s movements prior to the incident: “He had been drinking large amounts of vodka and did not appear to be his usual outgoing self.” As the Coroner rules the death as accidental, the inquest heard how Jones had woken by the noise after Cable returned home from a hectic day at work. “He was extremely drunk at that point but despite this he proceeded to get a bottle of vodka out of the fridge and drink it neat,” added Detective Sergeant Richie Jones. He essentially drank himself to death. The level of alcohol in his system was so high it was classed as ‘toxic.’

Image: flickr/

A chap from China has found himself in a sticky situation after dropping his phone down a toilet. Rescue workers strived for 10 minutes to liberate him using crowbars and hammers after he had chased after his phone and his hand had become wedged in the U-bend. I think most of us would have left the phone there to be honest…

Frisbee team denies God

On, it seems that Ultimate Frisbee is not for everyone. In a shocking disclosure, the club described the sport as “a fun exciting game that requires atheism, co-ordination, endurance and good sportsmanship”. Jesus, Mohammed and Krishna were all unavailable for comment. Stuart Cable was also known for his Noddy Holder impressions

Mother jailed for euthanising son Sharna Heir A devoted mother was jailed for life after giving her son a lethal injection of heroin. Tom, 22, had suffered from severe head injuries when he fell out of an ambulance in 2007. His mother, Frances Inglis, 58 of Dagenham east London, believed him to be ‘trapped in a sort of living hell’ and felt the need to put a stop to this and end his life in a peaceful way. Barrister Alan Newman QC said: ‘She was entirely taken up with the belief that Tom was suffering’.

In the biggest demonstration of karma ever, David Cameron was locked out of the 10 Downing Street last week. He had stepped out to accept a poppy from the British Legion representatives as part of the buildup to Remembrance Sunday. However, when he thanked the reps and turned to walk back into No. 10, he found that the door had shut on him, locking him out. Reports that Nick Clegg had wedged a chair under the handle are unfounded.

‘She was no longer the person her family, friends and colleagues had once known.’ He told the Lord Chief Justice and Lord Judge, that before the tragic events Inglis was ‘a devoted mother, a perfect lady, a person of impeccable character’. Tom required round-the-clock care, could only communicate by blinking and squeezing his hands and had to be fed through a tube. Inglis said she had ‘no choice’ but to end his life. She was found guilty of murder and attempted murder in January, and is now sentenced to life imprisonment.

WRITE FOR US! Le Nurb accepts submissions from any Brunel student. See page 2 to find out how to get involved!

Editor is a tool Le Nurb’s editor managed to get the entire Hamilton Centre evacuated last Friday after slamming a door. Gaz Corfield had opened the back door to the Media Office to get some air flowing through the place after the previous night’s beer and curry made their presence known. However, due to recent rain, the door had swelled. As he heaved the door closed, the cover to the adjacent fire alarm point fell off and triggered the alarm system. This caused the instant evacuation of the Hamilton Centre, including the Hub, Locos, Academy, More Foodhall, the UBS offices and also the National Blood Service’s donor centre which was operating in the Newton Rooms. Gaz himself was last seen hiding under a desk in the Media Office with a bottle of whisky.

Le Nurb - November 2010

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End in sight for the Charles Taylor Case Akeem Maull Nicol The Charles Taylor trial appears to be coming to its conclusion, as the defence only plans to call one more witness and a timetable has been set to end the case. At a Status Conference held on Friday 22nd of October in The Hague, the Special Court for Sierra Leone judges also dismissed in entirety a defence contempt motion seeking an enquiry into how prosecutors conducted themselves during their investigations. Former Liberian leader Charles Taylor is standing trial at the special court for Sierra Leone in the Hague. Taylor, 62 is accused of arming rebels in Sierra Leone, West Africa

who raped, maimed, and decapitated civilians. He faces 11 counts of war crimes against humanity for his alleged role in the 1991-2002 Sierra Leone civil war. The ongoing case has been active since January 6, 2008 and now has a decision date of February 2011. At the state conference the presiding Judge of the Trial Chamber, Justice Julia Sebutinde, made both parties aware that the Trial chamber will make an oral decision without reasons of the defence motion that contempt investigations be established against prosecutors for their conduct in dealing with witnesses during their investigations. In the motion filed by defence lawyers in September 24, 2010, defence lawyers alleged that prosecutors

had misconducted themselves during their investigations by bribing, intimidating, and sometimes physically assaulting witnesses to testify against Mr. Taylor. In her brief ruling Justice Julia Sebutinde said, “The Trial Chamber dismisses this motion in its entirety and will publish its reasons in due cause.” Following this ruling the court heard that the defence will call one more witness to testify for Mr. Taylor. The witness will start his testimony on Monday, November 1, 2010. Defence lawyers intend to lead the witness in direct examination for two days, but it is not clear how long prosecutors will take to cross-examine the witness. Mr. Taylor’s defence counsel Terry Munyard

has said he does not expect the testimony to exceed one week. In what signals the intent to reach a verdict in the near future judges outlined the following orders. The defence case will end when the testimony of their final witness is finished. This witness will be the 21st witness used for the defence in the trial. After the closing arguments, the court will then determine how long it will take before a final judgement is delivered. The court adjourned and will resume on Monday, November 1, 2010 with the commencement of the evidence of the final defence witness.

Rare and valuable coins discovered in Kenya Akeem Maull Nicol Gun camera footage from a US helicopter attacking unarmed journalists Sana Uqba An online organisation released the largest classified military leak in history last Friday. Wikileaks, which first received attention when leaking video footage of an incident in Iraq in which U.S soldiers were seen to brutally murder innocent Iraqi civilians, has now revealed over 350,000 reports on the Iraq war. The reports contain first hand details of what was seen and and heard by US forces in Iraq and are seen to be the first real glimpse into the secret war the government have been so furtive about. The “Iraq War Logs” as they are now known show how US authorities have

intentionally overlooked torture in Iraq, instructing their soldiers to ignore detainee abuse by Iraqi authorities despite claiming to do otherwise. The reports have also revealed the shocking, real number of civilian deaths in the war, and states that their were over 15,000 unlisted civilian deaths. Top US officials have condemned the release of the reports with Hilary Clinton stating it “puts the lives of United States and its partners’ service members and civilians at risk”. Anders Fogh Rasmussen, Secretary General of Nato told reporters in Berlin that it “may have a very negative security impact for people involved”.

You don’t need to be a member of the Le Nurb team to write for us. You don’t even need to be studying journalism. All we ask is that you’re a Brunel student and are passionate about your topic! See page 2 for details of how to get yourself published in the one and only Brunel campus newspaper.

Ancient Chinese coins, discovered in Kenya discovered at the end of October, are raising questions to the history of trading in eastern Africa. A joint team of Chinese and Kenyan archaeologists found the 15th century coin in Mambrui, a tiny nondescript village north of Malindi on Kenya’s north coast. The China-Kenyan Lamu island archaeology project was officially launched in July of this year. The project was set up to investigate claims made by local Kenyan villagers that they are descendants of the ancient Chinese people. The project also aims to recover ships sunk 600 years ago,the ships in question were part of a fleet led by Zheng He, the Chinese explorer. After a month of searching in Mambrui region, the aboveground archaeology team, led by Dashu, have found many Exhibit A: Qin A vulnerable drink relics. These include a coin referred to as ‘Yongle Tongbao’ of the Ming Dynasty. The coin was minted under the reign of emperor Changzu between the years 1402 and 1424. Dashu, an archaeological professor

from the Peking University, China said, “These coins were carried only by envoys of the emperor, Chengzu,”. He addded, “We know that smugglers would often take them and melt them down to make other brass implements, but it is more likely that this came here with someone who gave it as a gift from the emperor.” The findings by the joint archaeology team provide convincing evidence of trade between Africa and China hundreds of years ago. Such findings have cast doubt on the accepted history of the first traders in eastern Africa. The new evidence is not entirely conclusive, although it undermines Portuguese explorer Vasco Da Gama’s claim to have been the first international trader to open up East Africa. Studies have confirmed that China’s legendary explorer Zheng He reached Africa almost 80 years before the first Europeans arrived in the region. Professor Qin Dashu says the discovery will urge historians to reconsider East Africa’s early trade relations with the rest of the world.

November 2010 - Le Nurb

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Ben Moxey After years of cramped queuing, rude staff and some things that just never sold (25th Anniversary decanter anyone?), the MACE campus store has closed forever. The lease for the shop ran out last week and the university chose not to extend it. This leaves Brunel without a dedicated ‘Campustore’ for the first time in years. Costcutter will remain open

and will be allowed to sell items that were previously monopolised by MACE. The stranglehold that Mr Sharma, proprietor of Campustore, had over the products he could sell (and more importantly, that others couldn’t) was the biggest complaint about the shop that many students had. Up until now, Costcutter (and anyone else trading on campus) could not sell newspapers, confectionery or

tobacco. The press release from Brunel stated that a new shop will open once “essential work on the drains had been completed”. They continued to state that they hope to have “further details on this… announced by the end of November” and that they “wanted to open a new store by January.” I’m keeping an open mind, but come on – how likely is that?

Join us before the Le Nurb logo gets the treatment. Email to get involved.

No mate, it’s closed. See the empty shelves?



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Le Nurb - November 2010

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Avina Patel Avina Patel

It’s that time again! As winter draws in the campaigns begin, so make use of our wonderful ways to ensure you stay safe and secure. I am running a number of well-being campaigns this year beginning with SHAG (Sexual Health, Awareness and Guidance). Unlike before, this campaign will run over the whole year as opposed to one week in November. This year the campaign will launch on the 1st November 2010 with a number of events I hope you all get involved in, including: Sexy Zombies in the Academy

on the 1st November; counselling on Brunel Radio on the 2nd between 10am-2pm; a poker night in Locos on the 4th November starting from 7pm; Doctors and Nurses in the Academy on the 29th November; games in the atrium; general health checks and chlamydia screening also being available. We will also be giving out FREE ‘SHAG bags’ with contents including: the SHAG magazine; free condoms; lubrication and sexual health advice. So check out the ‘condom fairies’ that will be volunteering throughout the week and promoting safe sex for all your essentials! All volunteers are welcome so if you fancy getting involved in SHAG, or any of the other campaigns, please get in contact with me at: vp.communitywelfare@brunel.

Messages from Middlewood Sam Middlewood Sam Middlewood

As I am writing my first update since Freshers Week (and oh what a week it was!) I am sitting on a Virgin Train heading up to Liverpool for the NUS Union Development Zone Conference with the fellow Officers! For the next 2 days we will be discussing, along with other Student Unions, how we are taking things forward in our respective offices and what we have in store this year for the each of our student bodies. One area that certainly won’t be far from the agenda will be that of the Higher Education cuts, but I will let Priya tell you more about that. Outside of Union Development, I have been plodding on with both the Personal Tutoring Campaign and the continuation of Assessment and Feedback – ‘Have You Got the Feedback Bug?’ – which was started last year. With Personal Tutoring, I have been meeting with members of University Academic and Management Staff to discuss how Personal Tutoring can be developed and broadly improved so it benefits students in a far greater way that it does now, but also so it gains the interest of the Tutors instead of just generating

Gaz Corfield Student Assembly met for the first time on October 28 in the Library Seminar Room. Ben Moxey was elected as Chairman, with Brendan Cogan being elected ViceChairman. A number of students were co-opted to fill assembly member vacancies that weren’t filled at the Autumn Elections. Assembly also accepted the reports of all the student officers and the various committee chairs without any significant changes.

more work for them. Not an easy task. However progress so far has been pretty fantastic. I shall be in contact with a number of student groups over the next few months to share some ideas and get your opinions, so please let me know if you would like to be part of what I hope will be one of the biggest changes Brunel has seen with regard to its teaching and overall student experience. With the Good Guidance Document produced last year for Assessment and Feedback, my job this year is to ensure each of the academic Schools here are brushing up their procedures to adopt the recommendations. Areas such as feedback turnaround times, demonstrating to you the importance of using feedback to your advantage, and also how academics are going to improve on the delivery of feedback to students, are all catered for in the recommended good practice. So watch for these improvements coming soon in your School. Finally I would like to give my congratulations to our newly elected Student Reps, Student Chairs, Student Assembly Members, and Student Trustee. Nowsh, our new Academic Minority Chair and Mike, our new World Students Chair are two of the new Chairs who I will be working closely with, and I am very much looking forward to it.

Some vacancies for academic school members are still available; contact Joe Greenwood (, UBS’ Democratic Support Co-ordinator, for more information. Becoming a member of student assembly gives you the power to influence Union policy and propose new policies of your own. Perhaps you think beer in the bars is overpriced, or we don’t have enough alternative music nights? Student Assembly is the place to go to get that changed!

Joel Brasher-Jones Joel Brasher-Jones

So, as you may or may not know, one of the main things I am trying to achieve is a union and university strategy towards sport. Sport is one of the main sources of engagement, and as Brunel has such a rich history of sport it would be tragic if we let it die out. The Sports Strategy is a paper which will guarantee the future of sport at Brunel. It is a very important document as it is bring collated by both the union and the university. Five years ago there was a similar strategy, but unfortunately it only got as far a draft report before the change in staffing prevented it being passed. This year I am hoping to get this report passed and secure the future of sport at Brunel. At moment we have influence from all

Brunel is leading the way in sustainable travel for students by organising a day dedicated to sustainable travel on 19 November 2010. The day will include an array of activities and exhibitors to interact, educate and engage regarding sustainable modes of travel. Brunel was selected as a pilot university in West London for a sustainable travel day because it has an effective travel plan in place; is in an ideal setting for walking, cycling and using other sustainable modes of transport; and offers an enthusiastic Student Union. As a pilot university, lessons learnt from Brunel will then be applied to other Higher Education sites. On 19 November, come down to the

the different departments. The university has a strong representative working on this paper as does the union, but we have also have an external company that is helping us. These guys are from Reading and already have 4 university sports strategies under their belt. They are a free service, which have we welcomed, and they have been heavily involved from the start. We are hoping to get the report passed in November and therefore an operational document will be worked on throughout the coming months. This is a positive move by Brunel in the wake of all the cuts and will sustain sport at Brunel. On another note, the union is embarking on a mass participation scheme, and with this I introduce Give It A Go Month. This will be a month-long program which will introduce sport and exercise to people who thought they would never get take part. This will happen early next term. Check out the union website nearer this date!

Student Union where you can have your bike repaired, learn more about cycle and walking routes in the area, sign up for a discounted Oyster or Railcard or just check out activities along the main concourse. As part of the day, there will be prizes and giveaways for students. Until then, here are small ways that you can travel more sustainably: d Walk or cycle to lectures and/or work d Use the bus to get around the local area d Instead of making a bus or car trip into town use facilities such as the gym, the bars and the shops on site d If travelling by car is essential and you know another person who would also be taking the car, consider travelling together.

November 2010 - Le Nurb

Tom Scott Hello LeNurbians. Welcome to other side of student media. Whilst LeNurb continues to provide its monthly dose of “humour and charm”, (erudite wisdom and benefaction, thankyou - Ed.) Radio Brunel has relaunched with a brand new line up of shows and is waiting for you to listen in! When I became the Media Chair for the Union of Brunel Students, I had no idea what reception to expect from students and the response was truly overwhelming. We now have a line of over 100 amazing and different DJ’s out there providing over 50 unique shows for your listening pleasure. We have everything from contemporary pop to electric evenings. We have dedicated music shows from all over the world including Korean pop and Greek chillout music. We are always packed full of hilarious and spontaneous banter to make your studies a whole lot easier. So check out our timetable and see if anything takes your fancy, or just tune in for the heck of it and you might just enjoy something you never expected. Don’t forget our website, www.radiobrunel. com and we are (like everything else these days) on Facebook and Twitter. Radio Brunel never stops and neither should you! Image: Sam Lester

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9 am



Kat and Sophie

Urban Mixup








Saturday Mornings with Greg and Daisy


10 am 11 am UBS


12 pm Bad Rep with Erin and Vongai

Relay Relapse Lunchtime with

1 pm STS

Bang on Brunel

ACS Hour of Pure Entertainment

Sweet Music

The Spin Off

2 pm K-Pop

The Rundown


Afternoon Delight

Kid Disco’s Radio Blog

Get Your Kits Out

Reason and Mankind

Rick Rokk’d

T-Shirt Time

Dance, Brunel, Dance

The Bras Show

3 pm Saz and Caz 4 pm

In The Mix Lost Causes Tall Short and Ginger

5 pm Alphabetti Spaghetti

6 pm

Tom Scott and Josh

3guys1mic Eaves Drop

7 pm Rec-Loose Radio

BASS Don’t Panic

The Niche

Mista and Kris

Blessed Radio

8 pm Kickstart your week with Kat And Sophie every Monday morning between 9 & 10. Featuring the best popular music and all the latest gossip going on around campus at the moment. Waking up with these two beautiful drama students has never been so much fun.

Come Like Hot

9 pm Sauce

Club Hitters


Electrovery Straight Flava in Your Ear

Mickey Norm’s Comedy Hour

Sector 9

10 pm Rock Hard and Slippy

Radio Brunel at the Chillout Lounge


11 pm

Eclectic Electric Deep House and Techno Hour

Will and K

Arabicano High Def Sounds

12 am

Will + K The Niche is Radio Brunel’s single best source for the awesome creative writing and poetry that Brunel has to offer. Hosted by Matt Smith, he will have different guests each week and amazing classic rock music to make this show an instant classic. Tune in every Thursday between 7 and 8 at www.

T-Shirt Time One of the most naturally entertaining shows on Radio Brunel, Will And K provide amazing banter every Wednesday between 10 and midnight, with odd and interesting topics and music, this is one show you cannot miss. They always say, they can tackle their language barriers enough to keep you entertained for a full two hours.

Alphabetti Spagetti is one of the most unique shows we have to offer, with each week all the topics and all of the music are based around a specific letter of the alphabet. Hosted by some of our most experienced DJ’s this one will have you tuning in every single week. Check it out every Monday between 5 and 6.

Inspired by classic moments from Jersey Shore, T-Shirt Time is one of Radio Brunels most entertaining chat shows, with awesome popular music and genuine moments of hilarity; this show can’t be missed. These guys know how to party, know how to entertain and how to wear awesome T-Shirts at the same time. Saturdays between 5 and 6.

Le Nurb - November 2010

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One week’s tuition fees under the new system. fees to cover the gaping hole left in university funding. What happened to investing in the future? With such a huge handicap imposed on us by the previous generations (who hypocritically got to their positions of power due to free grants at university) how are we supposed to be as successful as them? It is grossly unfair that the failures causing the economic crisis are taken out on students by cutting university funding. Especially considering that it’ll be many of today’s economics students will be the ones to eventually fix the crisis. The government plan to remove the cap on tuition fees, meaning they could increase from the current £3,290 to as much as £7,000. The interest rate on student loans would increase to squeeze as much money out of us as possible. This could result in a graduate debt of at least £40,000. This is the grim prospect threatening students today. How can we ever cope with £40,000 worth of debt before we have even earned a penny? We would be further into the red than we could possibly claw back for years, perhaps even decades.

This encourages nothing but spiralling into more debt as we would have to borrow more in order to have any kind of life. None of us would have the financial security in the near future to buy our own houses or to start families, which would also further damage the economy. Government proposals comprise each university being able to set its own costs for its courses. This will inevitably involve the top universities having the most expensive degrees, therefore only accessible by students from the most affluent backgrounds. As only the richest students can then attend the best universities, they will be the most employable and earn the most, maintaining their wealth and furthering the gap, and not giving a chance to anyone from a lesser privileged background. This regression to the grossly unfair system of the past is completely despicable. How can anyone possibly support this? The only solution is not even being considered by any party: free university education for all UK citizens. The only argument against this is that it would be too expensive for the taxpayers to fund.

Doing the right thing

I managed to convince a friend to attend. Together we intrepidly entered LC114, not knowing what to expect and what was expected of us. To my delight the whole experience was rather pleasant. The Global Poverty Project is a “community education group that aims to increase awareness and action in regards to extreme poverty” their sole aim is to eradicate extreme poverty, defined by the World Bank as anyone who lives on less than $1.25 a day, within a generation. This goal may seem far-fetched, but the statistics show that in the last year 15-years extreme poverty has halved and Gori, who was presenting on behalf of the GPP, confidently showed us how this goal could be achieved. Even I, sceptical by nature, believed by the time I left the meeting that extreme poverty could be wiped off the face of the earth and furthermore I could be part of its decline. Then the exciting part began. The Global Poverty Project asked the volunteers to plan an event for One World Week in March 2011 which is to take place on the Brunel campus. The creative juices were flowing; we excitedly discussed ideas we had for raising awareness

James McLaughlin The government have abandoned students. This is not going to be an ideological rant stating why any one political party is better, because, simply, they have all failed us. The Conservatives have no problem with only the richest being able to attend the best universities, the Liberal Democrats have unforgivably gone back on all their manifesto promises about tuition fees, and Labour’s proposed system of graduate tax concentrates so much on equal opportunities that it misses the point of the burden on students completely. Not only have the government betrayed students, but older generations who received free university education are also backing the fee hike. They support the drastic increase in tuition

Howard Riddiough During the first week of term, I signed up to be a volunteer. I do not know what came over me, it has never been “my thing”, but I did it and it felt good. A friend and I headed over to the Brunel Volunteers Centre (found between the two campus shops) filled with enthusiasm to give something, anything back to the community. Expecting a little one-to-one chat with a volunteer officer, I was disappointed when told “applying is a simple procedure that can be completed online.” So, we exited the volunteer centre looking at our shoes, complaining how modern life has had the fun sucked out of it by computers. But, we didn’t let the thought of

filling out a tedious online form deter us. Surprisingly the website was actually quite impressive; much like a miniature Facebook whereby you create an account, which takes seconds, and then you are free to browse the volunteering opportunities on offer. You can even keep in touch with contacts made through the scheme, and you and your friends can keep tabs on who is doing what and where. In essence it is a networking paradise. There are vast amounts of choice on offer suiting all types of motives. Whether you want to boost your CV or more importantly give back to the community by helping create green areas or giving much needed advice to teenage kids. What ever you choose, every placement on offer will help you develop much needed. I was placed in touch with the Global Poverty Project [GPP] committee and in no time there was a reply in my inbox inviting me to a meeting they were holding the following week.

We Have A Tea Urn and we’re not afraid to use it!

Next meeting: Wednesday 27th October 5-7pm Isambard Amenity Building

The solution to this is simple. The replacement of Britain’s ageing Trident nuclear deterrent system is going to cost the taxpayer £20 billion. If this was to be scrapped then the ridiculous amount of money saved could provide free university education. What does that say about our values as a society? If grants are reintroduced to pay for tuition fees, then social background is irrelevant in applying to university. It is the only fair way that allows students to earn their place at the top universities through hard work, ambition and merit alone. In order to be completely funded by the government; universities need to remove “Mickey Mouse” degrees such as fashion studies, in order to focus more on academic subjects. Colleges or apprenticeships are a better for teaching vocational subjects. This would save money for academic subjects and restore the reputation of some universities. Focus should be placed on subjects like medicine, science and engineering in order to create the next generation of doctors and scientists to advance our society. It is essential that this sector remains strong, which requires high quality graduates from high quality universities. It would therefore be beneficial for the country to fund university education and create a more academically orientated system. Education and healthcare are the two of the most important institutions underpinning our society. The NHS is the envy of the world, providing free healthcare to all who need it. Why should our higher education system not be the same? As the two integral parts of society, they should both be funded by the government in order to make the fair society that the politicians say they strive for. The best course of action we can take to prevent the huge increase in tuition fees and reduction in government funding is to protest in a manner students are famous for. Brunel is planning to be involved in the protest. As this is a matter that affects us all; I urge you to attend the Fund Our Future demonstration, organised by the NUS and UCU on Wednesday 10 November, at Horse Guards Avenue at 11.30am. We must disprove the misconception that British students are lazy by standing up for ourselves, and not allowing our future to be destroyed by politicians doubling our debts. Editor’s note: This article was written before the government announced the £9,000 limit on tuition fees. We’d also welcome any letters or articles presenting opposing views.

of extreme poverty. Danielle, a fellow volunteer, decided she was going to organise an open-air event with music, emotive films and hot food. Anna, another volunteer, had another great idea to collaborate with the good people at Brunel Radio and create a drama series with themes of poverty embedded within its story lines. This is a fantastic opportunity for any student at Brunel. It’s not too late, you too, have the chance to organise something magical, no matter the size, any idea is welcome and you will have the full support of the team at GPP. If you are too lazy to plan your own event, then simply offer a hand with events already in the pipeline. Do not hesitate to get in touch with Bunmi (, co-ordinator of events for One World Week, to get involved with this wonderful organisation. You too can make a difference to extreme poverty. So apply now, there is nothing stopping you, you don’t even need to leave the comfort of your chair, simply visit and get started now!

November 2010 - Le Nurb

Shoruk Khaddour This controversial and recent story has stirred something of an ethical debate in the media. Project Prevention, an American charity setup by Barbara Harris, aims to deter drug addicts from having children by giving them cash compensation. Harris has also adopted four children born to a mother with a crack cocaine addiction. The money is not much. The first ‘volunteer’ for this scheme in Britain is John (surname withheld) from Liverpool, who received £200 for agreeing to the reversible procedure. According to John, he had been thinking about having the procedure and the money had “spurred” him into doing it. Is £200 enough money to deter heroin and crack addicts from having children in the future? I am not advocating the permanent sterilisation of addicts but I believe when a person chooses that lifestyle, they forfeit any personal freedoms that they are usually entitled to. Human rights activists will argue no human on earth, no matter their situation, should ever be forced into giving up the basic right we are born with; the ability to procreate. When a heroin addict decides to take the compensation given to them by Project Prevention they are in their right mind to make the decision because they see an opportunity to fuel their habit. When they decide to bring children unto the world, they are in no fit state to make that decision. Statistically speaking, children born to mothers or fathers with a serious drug addiction are more than

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likely to develop health problems in life. Some of them do not even make it to the age of 4. This is not to include the squalor and the desperate environment they would be born into with the constant neglect they would face from their parents. No child should be brought into the world having to face this. First and foremost, addicts should be given the opportunity to prove that they are capable of cleaning up their act. Rehabilitation should be the first option we turn to in ultimately trying to help addicts overcome their addiction. Only when they have declined this and shown they are incapable of changing their habits should we resort to vasectomies for men or effective and long-lasting contraception for women. Those who liken this to Hitler’s ethnic cleansing in WWII Germany are wrong in doing so, because what Harris is doing is offering the addicts an opportunity to not ruin an unborn child’s life; she is not permanently depriving them of the ability to have children, she is merely saying there are certain responsibilities that come with the privilege and until they are fit enough to take on that responsibility then they should be stopped. When I express this opinion, I am not saying poorer people or those living in third-world countries should be paid to not have children. The poor and the desperate living in poverty cannot help the way they are. Addicts choose their lifestyle and like any other bad choice which drastically affects us, our families and those around us, there must be consequences and sacrifices that we must carry as our crucifix to remind us of the choices that we have made. When we are willing and ready to change the path we have been walking on only then should our freedom be given back to us.

Oliver Lincoln Plan your night

Know where you are going and when. Check public transport times and ensure you that you know your route, particularly if the area is unfamiliar.

Carry a mobile phone

Ensure that you have enough credit and battery life for the entire evening – this might prove a lifesaver if you are stranded!

Let someone know

Phone or text a family member or friend when you are leaving and when you will arrive. Even if you are going to the same place you go every Friday night, it is always good for someone to know where you are.

Carry a deterrent

There may not be assistance at hand; however, using the few seconds to put a distance between you and a potential attacker could prevent you from becoming the next victim. VestGuard’s Bouncer is a legal aggressor deterrent spray and should not be confused with any kind of pepper spray; it is entirely legal in the UK. Bouncer emits a UV marker, invisible to the human eye, which can remain detectable for up to 72 hours. This can assist the police in identifying an attacker, increasing the chances of a successful prosecution. Additionally the discharged spay emits a repulsive odour aimed at distracting an attacker. Keeping VestGuard’s Bouncer in your handbag, whenever you go out, will not only keep you protected should anyone confront you, but will also give you reassurance in feeling protected should you find yourself vulnerable.

Switch off your mp3 player

Listening to your favourite tunes at the end of the

Tory Engineer Defence cuts are always hard to take; especially when certain other departments, bloated and inefficient they be, have their budgets ring fenced. However, given the spirit of the times we live in, it is necessary to attempt to take an open minded view to the National Security Strategy and the Strategic Defence and Security Review. The former certainly does not inspire confidence. Most prominently with regards to the aims of the review is the list of threats to the UK and their prioritisation. In the Tier 1 (highest risk) section are: terrorism (including chemical, biological, radiological and nuclear threats; attacks from Northern Ireland); cyber attack and large scale internet crime; major natural disaster and/or outbreak of disease; major international crisis leading to British involvement. In Tier 3 (lower risk) we find disruption to oil and gas supplies, an attack on another NATO or EU state, attack on overseas UK dependencies and disruption of vital trade supplies. This is a fairly odd threat analysis. Internet fraud: more dangerous than a lack of fuel and the resulting difficulties in distributing food. Flu: a greater risk than a second Falklands War. Republican dissidents: more threatening than an attack upon a NATO country (as occurred on 11th September 2001) and the resulting war (Afghanistan). What links the Tier 1 threats? Terrorism and cyber attacks mean a greater

Main Battle Tanks: a concept from the past? budget for MI5, GCHQ and counter-terrorism units. Influenza and natural disaster response: more money for the NHS (“we can’t cut that, it’s part of the defence strategy!”). Major international crisis is a very vague term which allows the justification of a greater international aid budget in the name of ‘crisis prevention’. They’re all cheaper to deal with because they’re part of the remit of departments that do not require a lot of submarines and tanks. How convenient. How convenient that British strategy marries so neatly with cutting costs. Speaking of which: the SDSR. Good news

on the submarine front (commitment to the production run of 7 Astute class attack boats), more mixed on the tank front (cuts of 40% to the Challenger 2). And, in what was a ballsy piece of spin if nothing else, Mr Cameron managed to take credit for buying 12 new Chinook helicopters while in fact cutting the Labour government’s order for 24 in half. The most publicised part of the review was the news that the Harrier jet is going to be scrapped to spare the Tornado, leaving the two brand new carriers with no fixed wing air group until 2020. Some commentators have

night might seem like a great idea, but you need to have your faculties about you. You should be aware of your surroundings so that you can identify any sign of potential danger.

If you think you’re being followed

For most people this is their worst nightmare. But it needn’t be if you keep your wits about you and act fast. First try crossing a road or turning back on yourself. If they continue to pursue you, assume your suspicions are correct and seek help. Look for people - pub, bar, cafe, shop, service station etc. or knock on the nearest door where the lights are on. If the worst happens and you think an attack is imminent have your ‘bouncer’ to hand and run as fast as possible to the nearest place where there are other people. Leave your handbag or other valuables behind if that’s what they’re after - you are far more valuable than property.

Always use a licensed cab

At the end of a night out, when someone asks you if you want a cab in the middle of the street, the chances are that it’s not licensed. Would you get into a stranger’s car? That’s what this equates to. Book a cab through a local reputable company, and ensure that you know the name of the driver who’s supposed to collect you. It’s worth saving a couple of cab numbers into your phone before you hit the town!

Walk with confidence

Someone striding confidently with their head held high will certainly put an attacker off if they think that you might cause them trouble. Take a pair of flats to squeeze into your handbag and ensure that you have your front door key in your hand when you get to your door. Top tip: Walking in the direction with the traffic coming towards you will ensure that a car cannot creep behind and surprise you. said that this means we will no longer be able to use a carrier group as a major offensive force. Unfortunately we haven’t had that capability since at least 2006, when the Sea Harrier was scrapped. Our current jump jets are solely ground attack aircraft, completely incapable of defending the fleet. Not that that lets Tornado off the hook: it was designed as an ultra low level bomber, a job that is a) currently completely unnecessary and b) led to horrendous losses when performed against the relatively inferior Iraqi air defences in 1991. Tory Engineer’s (slightly facetious) suggestion: sell or scrap both, swallow our pride and go cap in hand to the United States Marine Corps to beg the use of some of their Harrier AV8Bs, which have radar, decent anti-air missiles and compensate for a slight reduction in precision bombing capability with an internal cannon, better for close air support in Afghanistan. They should have a few going spare since they’ll be converting to the F-35 in 2012, almost a decade before we get our hands on it. The cuts to the surface combatant fleets are acceptable, especially if it curbs the large warship addiction of the Royal Navy. There is no purpose in sending a Type 45 air defence destroyer against drug smugglers or Somalian pirates. Corvettes and smaller craft would suffice and would be much cheaper, letting the Navy build more and so commit more resources to fighting piracy with greater efficiency. The warfighting capability can be maintained with a core of vessels to provide escort for the carriers and through the attack submarine fleet. Liam Fox should be commended for his efforts to protect the armed services but this review has clearly prioritised cost over strategy. If it is essential then it must be regarded as the lowest point for our armed forces. Any more defence cuts will break them entirely.

Le Nurb - November 2010

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Sarah Casey As a PGCE student at Brunel, I have inevitably formed a few shaky ideas as to what teaching English at secondary school may involve. Unbelievably, it is on the strength of such ‘shaky ideas’ that my motivation now tentatively teeters. I say ‘tentatively’ because my experience of secondary school is now twenty years out of date, and, due to its vicious content, the worst of my recollections have been duly repressed and laid to rest. When I unearth the hideousness of those five years, I am flung with fists and handbags down the corridors of 1984 to 1988. This was a time when Years Seven to Eleven were simply labelled one to five. Schools were referred to as secondary schools or comprehensives – the idea of High School was confined to the sweet syrupy valleys of American teenage fiction. O Levels were on the cusp of extinction as a new spectre of examination, the GCSE, haunted both classroom and home environment in a new age of coursework-based assessment; and SEN (Special Educational Needs) had little meaning beyond the spasticated gestures and Joey Deaconlike tongue thrusting that pupils directed at the weak, the vulnerable and the ginger. Oh, and let’s not forget those that suffered from the most debilitating condition of all: the inability to catch a ball. Yes, I was one of those idiots that flapped their arms wildly, inwardly honking like a seal as the ball missed my Joey Deacon-like grappling and cracked open my nose. Difference was to be disguised, and failure to do so would result in partial or total ostracisation, or worse still, the spotlight of humiliation would illuminate one’s shortcomings with a centre-stage kick-in. As I write this and re-engage with my inner eleven to sixteen-year-old, hazy recollections of a school in the arse-end of Hillingdon collide with those of the 1980s BBC kids’ drama, Grange Hill. I’m not sure which one scared me more. The reality of my own school days and their hyperbolic television doppelganger were equally sinister. My peers were divided in nature (or perhaps it was nurture). This divide hinged on which side of the Uxbridge Road they lived. Those that lived ‘over’ the road (the side of Hayes Rec and Atlantis Fish Bar) had a sense of community that bore the stamp of being ‘hard’. Indeed, the main purpose of attending school and negotiating one’s survival within its peeling walls was concomitant with asserting one’s hardness. This was the curriculum that drove pupils’ objectives and outcomes, and underpinned some of the appalling behaviour in and out of the classroom. Such ‘hardness’ found expression in arson (someone took the incineration of feminine hygiene products to epic levels); there were fights that started at the bus stop, progressed to the subway and ended in casualty; and, of course, one could not get the fifth star on

one’s McComprehensive badge without indulging in all manner of sexual liaisons and recounting such experiences in the most vile and colloquial language possible. And, for anyone that did not understand (or successfully fake understanding of) the ‘Secondary Guide to the Slang of Sex’, you were, of course, relegated to a sub-section of the Special Needs register for social and sexual outcasts and untouchables. For those that lived on the opposite side of the road, (the side of Dalton’s Farm, Kingshill Avenue, and The Brook House Pub) it was as if their UB4 postcode had become a debilitating affliction that rendered them slightly ‘soft’. School was a divided place, one of conflict, which thrived in the presence of difference. Being ginger-haired or not being able to catch were the worst kind of disabilities, much worse than smelling of urine. In fact, a certain level of poverty resulted in a bizarre kind of pride. It was not cool to have money or decent clothes from High Street stores. Anyone in Marks and Spencer clothing (and there weren’t many left standing) had been targeted for abuse. It seemed that the proper way to show that you had money was, bizarrely, to take the little money on offer and spend it with wild abandon at the Western International Market in Hayes. Fake Gabicci jumpers, 80s boots with side tassels, pleated skirts belted with fake gold chain: they all bore the hallmarks of the ‘market look’. Uniform was therefore less about navy or black, or blazers and ties, and more about customising and subverting the raw materials. Oh, and handbags. The most popular girls had the smallest handbags. Pencil cases and dog-eared books got crammed into fake leather handbags. The more that could be stuffed in, or rather, the more you had hanging out, the better. This equally applied to cleavage. It was all about as being as impractical as possible. As such, not wearing a coat in winter took cool to a whole new level of meaning, until the latest fad of ski and puffer jackets, and snow boots eclipsed bare-fleshed ‘hardness’. It was all so 80s. So fickle. So Last Christmas. I could digress further. Much further. But I must return to my more contemporary experience which comes in the form of my first PGCE school placement. So, what’s occurring in the classroom today? How do the 80s compare with 2010? Well, for a start, I am transgressing a monumental boundary: I am crawling half-Nethanderal, halfDracula-like, across the desk that separates pupil from teacher. I am in that painful and metamorphic space that is the trainee. And in my state of acute liminality, I’m feeling like I can’t catch any kind of ball that’s being thrown at me. I might as well stink of urine or bring out my copper highlights, honk like a seal or thrust my tongue out violently and smack my own wrists. Just walking through the main steel gates and the swishy reception doors was enough to make my flesh recoil. It’s all very, ‘Tonight, Matthew… Sarah is going to be… (drum roll) … a complete muppet’. I am an apprentice, and that is exactly how I felt on day one of my training. I get taken into meet the Head Teacher. High on caffeine, I am bewildered by the Ikea-like spot lights that illuminate the stark white walls. What is this – the set for Logan’s Run? There’s not a wood panel or a leather-studded oak chair in sight. There is no dust or tobacco-stained wood-

chip, no elastic bands or sticky-back plastic. Instead, I am guided towards an enormous glass conference table and I struggle to find a graceful way to pull out a heavy cream leather-backed chair. Along with four other‘apprentices’I sit nervously, unsure if I should rest my arms on the polished glass, worried that my spiral polka-dot Tesco notepad will break the ambience. The Head Teacher talks about management structure and other stuff that I nod to in all the wrong places. This inauspicious induction sets a paranoid tone. I have assumed that each member of staff I meet has a hidden agenda. Any kind of friendliness is merely a trick to make me drop my guard and provide me with the little space it takes for me to make a spasticated Joey Deacon-like gesture, or commit a career ending eye-squinting faux-pas. Oh yes, this is Big Brother without a diary room or the maternal embrace of Davina. Nothing is as it seems. There are secret agents, double agents, moles. There are microphones embedded in toilet walls. My Facebook has been hacked and posted up for staff ridicule, and there are cameras everywhere. Small smoked domes punctuate the corridors and classrooms, and they spy on us. Apparently, CCTV is a necessity in terms of security, guarding the bounty of laptops in most classrooms. We are told that footage is only ever watched when there has been an incident, such as a chair being thrown. I don’t believe them. They are watching me. I don’t feel I can even yawn or scratch discreetly. The Assistant Head wears crocodile-skin cowboy boots. The point of the toe is unnecessarily long and scarily thin, so much so that my gaze returns to their crinkled veneer in involuntary bouts of incredulous assessment. Her boots scare me. They actually scare me. I have no idea why. I look, then look away. Look again, then look away. What sort of person wears boots like this? I calm myself down by deliberately situating her in a dimly lit Conservative Club, and I make her line-dance (badly) and dosey-doe (clumsily)

to Cotton-Eyed-Joe. Yet I still wonder what kind of corporal punishment those boots might inflict under a full moon. After my induction meeting with the Head Teacher and senior management team, I am issued with a swipe card that will allow me access across the whole school. This sacred card will even let me into an underground car park. But I know I will never, ever, dare take my car down that concrete slide for fear that my pass will not work, and I shall have to make an entire department reverse up the concrete slide and out onto a main road whilst I look at my faulty pass with as much incredulousness as I gave the assistant head’s crocodile boots. I have some Vicky Pollard classroom moments that I could share with you. And I can tell you about SWAT teams and walkie talkies and solitary confinement. But that will come later. Instead, I’m going to highlight an encounter with an outrageously out-of-control girl that I asked to make me cry. There is a learning context to this, one of script-writing and audience response. Her page was blank. The boys were focusing on a fight scene. The girls were focusing on the aftermath of the fight scene. So I asked this girl to write something that might make me cry. Weird requests get weird responses. She told me she would never be able to do that. She looked completely baffled. And then she said she might need my help. That’s fine, I said, you have my help. But she didn’t need it. She started writing. And when I showed her the goose bumps on my arms she refused to stop writing, and it pained me to tell her to stop because the lesson had ended and everyone else had packed away long before her. I’ve seen her since – in form group, in other English lessons. It’s as if that moment never happened. It’s gone. She has gone. I am the invisible trainee. She is the transient pupil. Our worlds collided for a brief moment. Perhaps that is all teaching can ever be – brief, transient moments. For better or for worse, pupil, teacher or trainee, it all leaves its mark.

November 2010 - Le Nurb

Sarah Tawfiq

Over 200 English Defence League (EDL) demonstrators gathered outside the Israeli embassy in London on the 24th of October with infamous guest speaker Rabbi Nachum Shifren (street name: the ‘surfing Rabbi’), of the American Tea Party movement in attendance. Orthodox Rabbi, Nachum Shifren, took the podium to declare he has ‘come here from 10,000 miles and all I got was abuse, and I welcome every bit of it.’ He continued with a 5-minute ramble in Hebrew. Did someone forget to mention the majority of EDL members are, at the best of times, barely coherent in the English language? Abruptly switching back to English, the Rabbi continued by declaring that ‘We’re still waiting for the Arabs and Muslim to make peace with each other, but like the dogs they are, they eat each other alive. We’re sick of governments destroying our lives with taxes. Forcing us to have multiculturism. We want to be free’. Take note: Rabbi Shifren is a candidate for a seat in the California Senate in District 26 in West Los Angeles. A few yards away, there was a noticeably smaller counter-demonstration beginning to form. Organised by Unite Against Fascism, supported by Rabbis For Palestine, the Muslim Defense League and hip-hop artist, Lowkey. With about 30 attendees, the

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demonstration had a disappointing turnout, with a huge lack of publicity being the culprit. The EDL’s side of the demonstration, shaped from a concoction of football hooligans, racists and the inebriated, reeked of Carlsberg and ignorance whilst endeavoring to provoke the counter demonstrators by bellowing confrontational abuse. At one point, an EDL supporter propelled himself in front of a 15 year old demonstrator whilst screaming ’fuck you all!’. Nevertheless, despite a few altercations, the police managed to keep both sides apart for the majority of the time. While speaking to one of the EDL protesters (a man going by the ambiguous pseudonym of JTR), I happen to mention that I’m covering the story for a student newspaper. To which he gave this invaluable observation: ‘We don’t get much sympathy from student unions. I think it’s because they’re mostly made up of brown people’. Such an outlandish statement did not even warrant an answer. David Landau, a case worker and a member of Jews Against Zionism, said: ‘I think it’s a disgrace that the EDL are trying to associate themselves with the Jewish people. This Rabbi Shifren is dividing communities and pitting them against each other and the only reason they’re associating themselves with Jews is because of their hatred of Muslims. Jews who support the EDL clearly haven’t learnt form their own history’ Despite EDL’s declaration, the intention of the demonstration was to show support for Israel, there were scores of mixed messages being sent out. Rabbi Shifren claimed: ‘When an English man is killed, there is one thing to blame- it’s your stinking press’ (at this

Le Nurb cannot condone such unhygienic behaviour. point, an EDL steward turns around to me and says: ‘he has a point, you know’… whilst clutching a copy of the Sunday Express). Kevin Carroll, a Luton based EDL supporter whom some may recognise from the BBC3 documentary ‘Young, British and Angry’ declared that ‘We’re not anti-Islam, we’re anti radicals. I refuse to submit to Islamic ideology. It’s time someone kept an eye on

“them”.“Them”being the very people his organisation claim to not stand against. Yes, I too am baffled as to how any of this is supposed to make sense. Unite Against Fascism and their sister organisation Love Music Hate Racism have called a national demonstration in London. The march will assemble at 12 noon on Saturday 6 November on Malet Street, London WC1.

On November 10th 2010 thousands of students and staff from across 14 14 Template Template the country will march in central London; join the Union of Brunel Students as we march on the streets of central London to fight against the looming, savage cuts to education


LeLeNurb Nurb--November November2010 2010



MAR 10

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MARCH STARTS Horse Guards Ave. at 11.30am

Meet here if you can’t meet us on campus.


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make history


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Le Le Nurb Nurb -- November November2010 2010

ROUTE of the march

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From the Archives - 1996 The CFE National Demonstration and the continuing fight for a decent living grant On Wednesday 20 November, approximately 10,000 students from across the country took to the streets of London as part of the Campaign for Free Education’s National Demonstration against student hardship. The demonstration was built by student activists from many student unions in response to the decision by NUS at the last National Conference in March to replace existing policy in favour of FREE education with one which suggests that students should pay towards their education through further loan schemes. Since that conference, the Committee of Vice Chancellors and Principals have threatened to introduce top-up fees – a clear example of the way things go when we back down on our principles and try to work with those who govern our education. In response to this move, the Campaign for Free Education changed the slogans of the demo from “End Student Debt – grants for all students” to “End Student Hardship – no to tuition fees” in the hope that the National Union of Students would back the march and join us in the campaign against

the C.V.C.P. NUS refused to back it, feeling that they couldn’t possibly work with the CFE, even though the latter is a broad student based group which makes up a majority of the NUS’ membership. Instead, they tried to block the demonstration every step of the way – by organising a meeting of National Council on the same day in Birmingham to prevent certain people from being in London and demonstrating against these cuts. However, the day itself was hugely successful and even more so than the one NUS had organised the previous year with the message from the students as clear as day. “Give us back our Grants”. People chanted the ever popular favourites such as “Education is a right, not a privilege”, “We won’t pay our loans back”, “What do we want? Grants, not loans” and battled with the cold to get their voices heard and their messages across. The march went from the University of London Union to Kennington Park where a rally took place, including a number of speakers. Tony Benn MP announced his full

support for the campaign and disrespect for the NUS leadership. A good day was had by all, with many people joining the CFE and a fringe meeting held gave reports from many student unions with Free Education policy – including ours. So where now? Well Douglas Trainer (NUS President) continues to travel around

A typical student of the 1990s, pre-student loans

debating with Tory MPs on the issue of tuition fees, the most recent one at the Institute of Education – see Guardian cutting – was attended by many of us from CFE who informed the audience what students really want and need. But does this really achieve anything? Of course not. What has the most effect, is the noise made by YOU – the students and the way that you come together to make yourselves heard – just remember Mr Trainer is only one man. In the next few months, motions will be submitted and played around with for the NUS Conference. We are currently trying to get as many SU’s to propose free education motions as possible to make this a priority and to win back the only policy for students – a return to 1979 grant levels with full benefits in the summer. Just think about how many people have to work part-time whilst studying just to get by and remember – unless we refuse to take this shit it will get even worse. The next piece of action being planned also is a march in stages from Bradford to London, so more details of that will be forthcoming.

November 2010 - Le Nurb

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19th October 2010 Release date: 15/10/2010 Director: David Fincher Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Rashida Jones, Justin Timberlake

Sumita Deb

Paul Dunn After a long battle between my journalistic integrity and my desire for alcohol, I reached the conclusion that a review written while drunk would probably be more interesting reading. In hindsight, asking myself ‘What would Gaz do?’ was probably a bad idea. (Bollocks! – Ed.) The first act was Jonny Mudd, whot got the night off to a great start, playing a medley of acoustic rock covers with a couple of original songs thrown it. The man has a truly incredible voice and knows how to use it; as well as vocal range, he also has an impressive control of volume, which gave his set an intimate feel. Mudd accompanied himself on the acoustic guitar, and seems to have a solid grasp of the instrument, not letting it dominate, but rather using it to provide a solid base for his soaring vocals to return to. The whole set had a good sense of pacing, and the catchy beat had the crowd clapping along at a few points; an impressive feat for an opening act. Jonny Mudd recently made it through to the area finals of Open Mic UK, and I for one wish him the best of luck in getting in to the national finals, although I doubt he’ll need luck to do so! The second set of the night was performed by an unnamed four-piece band consisting of singer Christina Rogers, bass player Dan Trott, guitarist James Clarke and Olly Provan on drums. The band was clearly unused to performing together, with

Rogers looking particularly nervous at first, however, she didn’t let that get in the way of her singing at all; she has a really nice voice for the R&B influenced pop numbers they were performing. Once it was clear that the audience was receptive, she soon gained confidence. James Clarke (guitar) had seemed set on standing ramrod straight and pouting, but by the third song, he was visibly beginning to enjoy himself, and the quality of his playing showed it. Trott and Provan seemed more certain than their bandmates, playing their respective instruments with enthusiasm and skill. The set itself was regrettably short, consisting of only four songs, and I hope they intend to expand their repertoire. The third and final act to perform were Blind Bandana, who made quite an impact by charging on to the stage and launching straight into a blinding cover of Jumpin’ Jack Flash. They were half way through their third song when I suddenly remembered I was there as a journalist; the entire band have great stage presence, making it very hard not to get caught up in the moment with them. Frontman Pete Lewis struts around the small stage, striking poses like a rock legend, while yelling at the top of his lungs. It was unfortunate that he was nearly drowned out by his bandmates, as Lewis’ voice is great for the sort of bombastic classics which dominated Blind Bandana’s setlist. Lead guitarist ‘Aces’ Poulter, really knows his way around a guitar, and isn’t shy about showing off – especially when he and James

‘Gears’ Geary (bass guitar) climbed off the stage to rock out amongst the audience. Geary seemed determined to show that the bass guitar is not just an instrument for those who can’t be bothered to learn guitar, and he did this with a stunningly precise solo. Rhythm guitarist Ellis Dunn (no relation) was good too, laying down some solid riffs as Aces shredded his way around them. The band was without their usual drummer, so Kevin Hotung Yuen, whose claim to fame is having been kicked in the face by Jackie Chan, stepped up to drive a pounding beat throughout. Overall, the night was a very good one, and showed off just a small slice of the talent available at Brunel; I for one hope that the Academy will host more such nights in the future, but if this is their intention, they need to work on promotion. While the audience was enthusiastic, the Academy was nowhere near full, probably because most of the people attending had heard via word of mouth. This needs to change; the Academy has plenty of prominent advertising space across campus, and if they want events like this to do better they need to make effective use of it.

LISTEN Jonny Mudd Blind Bandana

David Fincher, previously known for dark films such as Fight Club and Zodiac, seems to have strayed far from his usual material with this film, but he has once again produced an amazing result. Even though the setting may still be dark, there is nothing dark about this film, and this illustrates the brilliant talent Fincher possesses. Based on the book The Accidental Billionaires, ‘The Social Network’ tells the story of how Mark Zuckerberg (Eisenberg) created facebook. The film does not go into the nitty gritty details,instead it chooses to focus on the relationship between best friends Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin (Garfield), the co-founders of facebook, and the legal battles that followed over the creation of this worldwide phenomenon. The film wastes no time in showing us how Zuckerberg’s character thinks, and not only does Eisenberg look incredibly similar to the real life Zuckerberg, but his performance of being the awkward college geek is impeccable. The performance and chemistry with all the actors in this film is faultless. Even Justin Timberlake’s supporting role is performed brilliantly without him overshadowing the main characters. This film truly is a breath of fresh air. It makes a change from films where the geek rises up against the popular kids to do something amazing, and everyone loves him at the end of the film. Here, although Zuckerberg is the geek, by no means does he get trampled by the popular kids; he doesn’t give them a chance, but neither does he end up being our onscreen hero and loved by all. You will end up becoming completely immersed in this film waiting for what comes next for these characters, and then, before you know it, the film draws to an end. The only fault I can see with this movie is the title. ‘The Social Network’ does not instantly grab anyone’s attention and say this is going to be a great film to watch, but you know I’m really struggling to find flaws when that’s all I can come up with.


A cleverly portrayed film that will also provide you with a few laughs. Exceptional performances, but listen carefully otherwise you might miss what Zuckerberg has to say for himself.. 88888

Le Nurb - November 2010

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The Return of the Mentalist Mark Ulrich Bar a few early chuckles at the title, The Mentalist has garnered little media attention in this country. For those who aren’t aware of the series, it is a typical murder mystery show set around the Californian Bureau of Investigations, but one with a twist. The centrepiece, played by the wonderfully charming Simon Baker, is an eccentric expsychic who has given up the con, now solving mysteries by using the skills of his former vocation. He uses his wonderfully unethical schemes that in real life would require a ridiculous amount of paper work. It isn’t a show that requires much thought, I’m by no means a Sherlock Holmes but even I can generally figure out the murderer in the opening scenes (Hint: It’s almost never the shifty looking one), but that isn’t the point. The entire premise of the show is to marvel as the main character, Patrick Jane, makes his police buddies look like fools. We’re in the third series now, with seasons generally around twenty episodes long, and there’s pretty much no hint of a suggestion about who Red John actually is. Don’t expect it to be revealed soon either. Overall, the joy of the show is found in its sunny locations, charming characters and a

Starring: Maggie Q, Lyndsy Fonseca, Shane West combination of generally delightful scenes, interspersed with the odd sinister goings on. With TV becoming more and more obsessed with darker dramas its pleasing to see one that, despite a heavy story arc, genuinely has an optimistic outlook on life. Patrick Jane spends the odd moment brooding, but it doesn’t define the character at any point, and he’s still willing to have a smile and a joke, with very occasional tears, making the character all the more endearing. He’s as genuine a character as you’ll find on television, and that’s a combination of solid writing and great acting. It won’t be up for any awards any time soon but as good, mindless, optimistic entertainment it’s hard to beat the Mentalist. And with its return to our screens, following the taking of another Red John victim, there’s never been a better time to go hunting for murderers in sunny California. The Mentalist can be watched on Fridays at 9m on Five, or viewed online using Demand Five.


Definitely not critic bait, but the upbeat atmosphere, likeable characters and entertaining plots make for pleasurable viewing. . 88888

100 Club headline show 18th November Debut single ‘Revolver’, 6th December, Guitar pop with a blues edge.

Stephen Leatherbarrow Meet Warehouse Republic. Passion fuelled young lads sound tracking 21st century vision; Callan Maloney – Vocals, Charlie Flynn – Guitar/Vocals, Ben Woolford - Bass, Alex Howson - Drums. Brand new and refreshing, they’ve been rehearsing, gigging and recording for several months.  Great early gigs,  paved the way for their forthcoming first release, a (genuine) live favourite, ‘Revolver’ (December 6th).   Actress, Rachel Hurd-Wood (Perfume, An American Haunting, Dorian Gray), appears in the video. Catch a seminal Warehouse Republic show pronto. Thursday 18th November could be one of the 100 Club’s last

rising-legend shows (though hopefully the venue can be saved). This “unknown band” have shifted over seventy advance tickets already and, naturally, been promoted to the headline slot. Tickets can be purchased from Stephen Leatherbarrow on campus for £8 (email for more details). In 2011, catch them at IndigO2 at the O2 Arena on 11th February. A soundtrack for our crumbling, celebrity-obsessed snoozefest of a society, their music and pretention-free intelligence is magnetising a similarly disillusioned community. You can’t fabricate a word-of-mouth buzz. At the Cavendish Arms Ballroom recently, the chairs and tables were cleared away as the songs incited rocking out from an excited crowd. It felt like more than “this week’s scene”. Warehouse Republic are level-headed and extremely driven. They understand that in order to survive in this industry you have to be trend setters not followers.  Consider yourself tipped.

Sumita Deb With the end of Lost at the beginning of summer, and shows such as Smallville drawing to a close, my TV life is starting to look a little empty. I have, therefore, been on the lookout for new up and coming shows to replace this void in my life. On this mission I have come across Nikita, an action thriller based TV drama based on a 1990 French film by the same title and various other TV series that have been based on this character. 6 years ago Nikita (Q) was recruited as an assassin for a secret government agency known as Division, which has now turned rogue. Nikita managed to escape 3 years later, after the man she loved was killed by Division, and her identity has been erased. Now she is trying to bring down Division whilst being hunted by an agent, Michael (West). However, unbeknownst to Division, Nikita has infiltrated the agency, along with

with Alex (Fonseca), and together they hope to destroy the agency and its boss Percy. If you enjoyed watching the Bourne Identity, then you should like this programme. It doesn’t offer anything new in the sense that Lost or the O.C did, but it will keep your attention. It also helps that the actors in the programme aren’t exactly difficult on the eyes, which works in the shows favour. Ladies have the broody Shane West (A Walk to Remember), who looks brilliant in a suit and is torn between trying to kill Nikita and also loving her. Guys, you have two amazing looking ladies in the form of Maggie Q and Lyndsy Fonseca, who can pull out some kick ass moves. With cleanly choreographed fights and shoot out sequences by all the actors they do look even more banging. After a few episodes you learn that, in order for Nikita to bring down Division, she requires these black boxes that carry all of Division’s work, but this doesn’t really draw you to care as to what exactly the information is within these boxes. The show is very predictable in its series of events and at the end of each episode you are not really left with any cliff-hangers or suspense as to whether Alex will get caught by Division. The show contains all the formulaic material; the sexy assassin, a mission, fight sequences, secret pasts and not forgetting your typical computer geek. However although it makes a change from the current hype over vampires, which you have to admit is wearing very thin right now; it has all be done before.


It’s a good action show with a sexy cast but it will not leave you desperately wanting to see more. You can take it or leave it. . 88888

Brunel’s Bob is the next big thing


Bess Browning Keep your eyes peeled in 2010/11 for Brunel’s very own talented singer songwriter and gifted guitar player, Ibraheem Juburu, known to his friends as Bob. Born in London, nineteen year old Bob is a multi-talented musician, inspired by artists such as Jeff Buckley, Jimmi Hendrix and James Brown. Playing the guitar and singing, his music is a mixture of genres, ranging from

blues and acoustic to funk and his friends describe his voice as ‘mesmerizing’. Bob has been making music for five years and now writes all his own lyrics. He says that his friends promote his music a lot and insists that ‘without them, I’m nothing’ He has performed in front of as many as 900 people and has had his music played on the radio and internet. He recently featured on Radio Brunel, speaking about his love for music and promoting a music competition he is taking part in. Bob has already made it to the top 53 in the competition but needs Brunelian support in helping him reach the next 24. You can vote for Bob at http://www. and you can listen to some of his work at his website – www. If you too are a keen musician and are interested in working with Bob, he is searching for a bassist and a guitarist, so please contact him through his website. Screw the X-Factor, Brunel’s Bob is the next big thing.

November 2010 - Le Nurb

Paul Dunn You know you’re a proper journalist when people give you free stuff to review. While I make no claim to be a proper journalist, it seems that publishers aren’t as discerning as I am. The reason for their generosity is that this book is being advertised as, “The World’s First Student-Only Edition”, so, appropriately enough, they want reviews from student media. Looking for Mrs Dextrose, by Nick Griffiths, is the sequel to In the Footsteps of Harrison Dextrose, which some of you may have thoroughly enjoyed, and some of you will never have heard of! At first I have to admit I wanted to like this book. After all, being given something for free is a very pleasant sensation, but as I read, any goodwill I felt began to vanish. Looking for Mrs Dextrose is a rambling, purposeless mess of a book. The protagonist has one objective – to find his missing mother – but I estimate only 10% of the book is actually centred on that search, and that’s probably being generous. Doubtless this was intended as more of a coming-of age story, but then all that seems to have been left in the previous volume, as far as I can tell. When things are actually happening which are relevant to the plot, Looking for Mrs Dextrose is readable, in fact I found myself thoroughly enjoying it, but Griffiths seems to take a perverse pleasure in bogging down his protagonist with meaningless tangential objectives. As part of the “Student Only Edition” promotion, I was given the opportunity to meet up with the author for an interview. I met Nick outside a pub on Baker Street, and I immediately began to feel a bit guilty about the quite scathing things I had prepared. This feeling was exacerbated when he disappeared, before returning with a pint for me. He shrugged off my attempts to pay him back, insisting “You’re a student. You have better things to do with your money.” As soon as I was seated, he proceeded to take out a copy of his first novel, In the Footsteps of Harrison Dextrose, and presented it for me to keep. One of the first things I spoke to Nick about was the seeming confusion over who the target audience should be. The book was described to me by the publishers as a cross between The Hitchhikers’ Guide to the

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Galaxy and The Mighty Boosh, although how they reached this conclusion is beyond me. Griffiths hasn’t read THGTTG, but he does see a definite connection with The Mighty Boosh – “LFMD does go through some fantastical lands with some stupidly named people, and The Mighty Boosh, I’m a massive fan of them, they’re pretty surreal and stupid, I think surrealism does come from stupidity.” With this in mind, my theory had been that the book was aimed at English Literature students. I thought that this might have been the idea behind the student focus of the marketing strategy, but Nick was quick to correct me, “It was my idea actually; the reason was that on the net you’ll find a lot of people who named In the Footsteps of Harrison Dextrose as one of their favourite books of all time, and they all tend to be in their early 20s. If students love it we’ll get a bit of a buzz going, and then when the mass market edition comes out next May, hopefully there’ll be a bit of impetus behind it already.” Looking for Mrs Dextrose definitely isn’t all bad, while the structure of the novel isn’t particularly coherent, Griffiths definitely has a way with words, and the humour of the book lies, not with the situations, but rather the descriptions, which are filled with idiosyncratic similes. This seems to be a hallmark of Griffiths’ approach to writing, perhaps even life in general - “I sort of do that in conversations as well; I’m not the person who sits down for an earnest philosophical discussion about politics, I’ll be the one chipping in with stupid glib comments now and then, which is sort of what my book does.” Griffiths is clearly aiming for laughs rather than plot, and he succeeds, but at the end you’re left wondering if there was any real substance to what you just read. For all the aspiring writers out there, Nick had some advice: “Don’t.” However, for those not deterred by this, he has these words of encouragement: “The brilliant thing is, as a kid who loved reading, the idea of having a book out is amazing, so to see these books is quite incredible, it’s a dream come through, it’s an ambition fulfilled, but there’s so little money in it; you have to live off the glow that comes with being published. In terms of actually getting a novel written, just write and write and write and write because you can only keep improving.”


Tellison frontman Stephen Davidson gives an insight into the shape and sound of their impending album release, as well as the struggles in producing such an album in the modern day music industry.

James Smith London indie-rock quartet Tellison released their debut album‘Contact! Contact!’ in 2007, demonstrating an impressive mix of both bright, fast-paced singles alongside more mellowed and poignant material. It is the latter that has taken centre-stage in what will become the newest instalment in the Tellison collection. ‘I think the songs on the new record were clearly written with a little more experience, with a bit more intelligence maybe in terms of structure, musically and lyrically, having had a few more years on the clock. There’s certainly a steadiness to it.’ Early indications, from the band’s performances of ‘Thebes’ and ‘Edith Wharton’, definitely do suggest a more sobre and reflective tone in the band’s new work. Davidson cites a change in the band’s perspective in their approach to the newest release as part of the reason for such a steadying and maturation of the band’s sound, ‘when we made the first record we were a lot younger, we were bright-eyed, naive and breathlessly hopeful. This time round we've seen the circuit, we've taken some knocks and we've got some ugly scars to prove it.’ The band have certainly come a long way since first penning the tracks to ‘Contact! Contact!’, and this newest album is the culmination of many years of work. ‘This record was written in fits and starts between degrees and crushing rent-paying jobs. It took its sweet time at first but over the last few months it developed at the right kind of pace and I think we all feel it's a good marker of where we were at when we made it.’ But, along with many other bands caught up in the swamp of the UK indie music scene, they find themselves constantly fighting against a lack of backing from labels to produce the music they want to. ‘It's becoming increasingly difficult to make a record at the moment. The music industry is a sinking cruise liner and no-one is willing to part with any money, especially to a crappy indie rock band without the right clothes or haircuts. Obviously we made it work and recorded in people's front rooms and basements, because we believe in our band and we enjoy being in Tellison, but I

look at where things were 10 years ago and I wonder if we wouldn't have been better off being born a few years earlier.’ Such a lack of financial resources have delayed the production of the record at every stage, but it would seem we are now just a few months away from beginning to uncover the album that has slowly been grafted and polished, and then re-polished, by Tellison over the last couple of years, ‘I think the plan is to try to get something out this Autumn and then for the record to follow.’ But regardless of the state of play for bands like Tellison in the modern British music industry, graced with the momentum of a warm reception to this upcoming release, Tellison do have the potential to go a long way. ‘As I think all my answers have illustrated, we're desperate to quit our jobs and play music all the time, touring is the one way that we can afford to do that. I'm hoping we'll get some long tours round the UK in soon but also that we'll get the opportunity to go further afield, into Europe and maybe elsewhere. I'm looking forward to some new venues, some new cities and new people. But there are also places we go where we've got history and we always have a good time: Kingston, Northampton, Manchester and Glasgow.’ ‘We'll also get to work on new material. I've already got a few ideas down and I think we definitely learned our lesson from having such a big gap between records. We want to try and push forward faster this time round.’ This new album presents the band with a greater chance than ever to kick things up a gear and take the Tellison adventure to greater levels; it truly is make or break time. And despite all the setbacks along the way, there is no one more confident than themselves that in the next few years, they can make a real success of it. ‘If we were a boxer the first record was our confident refusal to believe we could be beaten, with this record we've been knocked down a few times, we've seen fighters around us succeed and fail, but we still believe we've got what it takes to compete and we're trying.’

Le Nurb - November 2010

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At “Roots of Fashion”

Sedem Ama October has been a very eventful month; you might have pencilled the releases of Robbie Williams’ Greatest Hits album and horror movie Saw 3D in your diaries, but, most importantly, each year for thirty days we celebrate Black History Month. This means something different to everyone, but it is an essential occurrence in my year, as it highlights and recognises the achievements of black people, and how far we’ve come since those dreadful days of slavery. So, to end off this brilliant month, I attended an excellent showcase on Saturday 23rd October, called Roots of Fashion. The show took place at South London’s chic restaurant/ nightclub Gold Coast, and was organised by ODF (Ow‘Du’Feel), in conjunction with Active Promotions. The beautiful Maria Okanrende was the host for the night, accompanied by the wet-yourself-laughing A Dot Comedian, and together they livened the scene with their jokes and interaction with the audience, definitely keeping me alert between performances. The night displayed a variety of acts from every genre: vocalists, actors, poets and, of course, a range of up and coming fashion designers were involved in making the evening an eventful one. The show kicked off with the fierce female dance group CEO who instantly brought a flavour of ‘roots’ to the entire audience with

their African dance routine. I found myself tapping my feet in rhythm to the beat on the track, which reminded me of my culture and heritage. Another act I found thoroughly enjoyable were the vocal trio RTI (Rochelle, Tina and Ivy). These ladies again emphasised the fact that talent does lie in young people, and during their performance they had the eyes and ears attentive to their soulful voices. We had the privilege to even see one of Brunel’s own, poet James Massiah, performing on the night. Reciting his own poetry, “Fendi Friends” and another untitled piece, James

definitely commanded silence in the room as everyone listened to his deep and emotional style. The talent of the fashion designers was amazing and I’m pretty sure members of the audience were picturing how the outfits on the models would look in their own wardrobes. There was a great variety of outfits, from work to party, even numbers you could wear down the street! Designers such as Kenema and Fanta’s Creations most certainly caught my eye with their range of clothing. What I loved was that they still kept

the African element with their pieces. Other brands such as ODF and Me Firi Ghana kept it real with their clothing; their models sporting high street fashion which can be purchased at high street prices!


4 out of 5- A vivacious and energetic event. Members of the audience said that they “enjoyed the range of fashion” which the show displayed and definitely a highlight to my Black History Month! 88888

November 2010 - Le Nurb


All photos by Le Nurb chief photographer Adil Khan Deshmukh

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Le Nurb - November 2010

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Coffee Break Easy Difficulty: 55555 3






8 1


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ROB’S SCORE: 14 in 10 mins


















ROB’S TIME: 20m 10s


8 5

Find as many words as possible using letters from the grid. The words must be four letters or more, and contain the central letter, but each letter may not be used more than once. There is at least one word that uses all nine letters in the grid.

Hard Difficulty: 55555

ROB’S TIME: 5m 17s


Difficulty: 55555








Ratings: 12-16 average

S 17-22 good

23-28 excellent

29 godlike












Difficulty: 55555


Tenpin Bowling

Pie the Teacher

Dunk the Teacher

Bake Sale

ROB’S TIME: 19m 53s

Mrs. Ware Mrs. Andrews

Every year the local high school holds an annual fundraiser. Each school department has one stall to help raise money. The same people, who all happen to be women, have been running the stalls for some time now. From the clues below determine who is running what stall, which department they are raising money for, and what year they started.


1. The lady who raises money for the music department has done so at every fundraiser since 1999. 2. Mrs. Ware, who runs the stall for the maths department, began taking part six years later than the lady who runs the tenpin bowling stall. 3. It was 2002 when Mrs. Staton made her first appearance at the fundraiser. 4. The raffle stall raises money for the History Department. 5. Neither Mrs. Dixon nor the lady who raises funds for Drama runs a stall that involves throwing things, or teacher-dunking. 6. The pie-the-teacher stall has been a constant feature at the fundraiser since 1996, at least three years before Mrs. Blair began helping at the event.

Mrs. Dixon Mrs. Blair Mrs. Staton English Drama Maths History Music 1993 1996 1999 2002 2005




Start Year

November 2010 - Le Nurb

Coffee Template Break 23

ARIES (March 21-April 20) Has it turned black and started to smell? Then stop scratching it and see the doctor. Quickly. You never know what you can catch from licking windows.

LIBRA (September 22-October 22) Weigh up all of your options before you commit to another Wednesday night going to the same bar. You’re represented by scales; weighing is a specialty of yours!

TAURUS (April 21-May 21)

SCORPIO (October 23-November 21)

Democracy is a wonderful thing. Have a vote on whether you should shave yourself or not. The will of the people must prevail!

Keep the hell away from doors that don’t shut properly. And fire alarm boxes. Someone might faint.

GEMINI (May 22-June 21)

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)

Elephants never forget. So be careful next time you go out. Playing fat-bird rodeo won’t work twice. You might get trampled, and die in a mass of pulped flesh. And blubber.

You utter bellend. If it isn’t working, don’t bugger about with it. And definitely don’t rip it off the wall!

CANCER (June 22-July 22) Next time you have a drink, don’t forget the last time you tried walking sideways all night. It didn’t work did it?

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 20)

LEO (July 23-August 22) Eating recycled children from third world countries may possibly be immoral. Consider asking an atheist for spiritual guidance on this.

AQUARIUS (January 21-February 19)

VIRGO (August 23-September 21) Whatever you do today, don’t look up at the sky. I mean it. If you do, some serious shit will happen. This might involve an incontinent pigeon.

PISCES (February 20-March 20) Laziness is next to godliness. And soap-dodging. Thought about becoming a professional protester? Go to London on the 10th and try it out.

You are half goat, half fish. Go eat some underwater grass... or... something. Yeah. Weirdo. You smell too.

You’re a frigging mess. Pull yourself together and stop rubbing your genitals on the pool table. It encourages dogs to lick the baize.

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Evil Sudoku

Average Sudoku

Last Month’s Answers First Name


Tennis Club






















Le Nurb apologises to the individuals featured in last month’s cartoon for not asking permission to use their images. On the bright side, we now have a vacancy for cartoonist! Email if you’re interested.

Le Nurb - November 2010

24 Coffee Template Break

Dear Sir, Is Le Nurb a mouth piece for NUS propaganda? This year’s first issue of Le Nurb (dated 16/09/2010) announced the launch of new NUS website,, but failed to comment on those who might support the cuts. Aaron Porter’s insistence that, the cuts, “would undoubtedly be disastrous” is unsubstantiated. Encouraging institutions to fund themselves rather than survive of government hand outs better reflects the world we live in. Unlimited tuition fees would ensure students take a more serious approach to their education. New Labour’s dream of over 50% of young people participating in higher education never truly reflected the academic ability of Britain. Earning a degree is a privilege, not a right. Yours sincerely, John Galt. This is an issue that affects all students across the UK, but you are right; we didn’t look for any opposing views. Bad form by us. –Ed. Dear Sir, Le Nurb (Issue October 2010) featured an article which talked about the proposed university fees. To suggest that raising interest fees will enable poorer students to be prioritised over the middle classes is not believed by students or the government, but it instead known that the raising of interest on fees will further increase the amount of those that are already unable to pay for university. The idea of students needing to pay less of their fees upfront is on the whole a terrible idea, as it rewards the students with wealthy parents, and ensuring that once again the poorer students will be unable to afford a university education. The solution instead is for governments to keep the ratio paid by students the same instead of making the students pay a larger amount, whilst the universities still receive the same amount of funding. To compare, the government will pay 0.1% of tuition fees if the proposed changes go ahead, the same as in Chile, a country that is hardly renowned for its educational prowess. Daniel Beake

BEEF & HORSERADISH CASSEROLE by Pip Preparation: 15 minutes Cooking: 2 hours 30 minutes Serves: 4 Ingredients

2 tbsp vegetable oil 800g pack diced braising steak or beef shin 1 large leek, sliced and washed, white and green parts separated 2 tsp medium curry powder 1 tsp ground ginger 25g plain flour 900ml hot beef stock 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 250g Chantenay baby carrots 3 tbsp Creamed Horseradish 1/2 x 20g pack fresh parsley, chopped


Preheat the oven to 170ºC, gas mark 3. Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a large flameproof casserole or ovenproof pan. Add the beef and fry over a high heat until browned all over (you may need to do this in batches), then remove and set aside. Add the remaining oil and fry the white parts of the leeks over a high heat for 2-3 minutes, until soft. Return the beef to the pan and sprinkle in the curry powder, ginger and flour. Gradually blend in the hot stock, stirring constantly. Bring to the boil, then add the Worcestershire sauce. Cover and cook in the preheated oven for about 2 hours, or until the beef is tender and thoroughly cooked (or just leave on a low heat on the hob to simmer, stirring occasionally). About 30 minutes before the end of the cooking time, add the carrots and the remaining sliced leeks. Return to the oven, cover and continue cooking. Stir in the horseradish, season and add the parsley. Serve with mash.

Need a public rant? Want to thank someone for something? Maybe you just want to muse about events on campus. Whatever you want to say, you should write to the Editor! Messages should have “Letter to the Editor” in the email subject line, and be no longer than 200 words.

November 2010 - Le Nurb

Template Sport 25

Adil Khan Deshmukh Having come off the back of an unbeaten season in 2009, Brunel Cricket searched for ideas to move the club forward in the winter to not only improve player’s ability but also to attract new members. Many ideas were banded about, and the decision was made to acquire a brand new bowling machine; a significant piece of equipment that the cricket team lacked. The first problem the club had to overcome was how to fund the purchase of the machine. Thankfully, the University Alumni and the Sports Development Grant help to fund clubs with needs just like this; Brunel Cricket spared no time in submitting their application for the grant. A few months later the club found out they were in the last two. Within a few days of being notified of being in the final two, the club was informed that they had been offered a conditional grant based on

In the first game of the season, the lowest competitive team in BUCS leagues for the Netball Club had the pleasure of entertaining Royal Holloway 3rds in the early start (1pm) in the Netball Hall. Following lecture problems, Royal Holloway arrived later than the published start time of 1pm, and took to court without a warm up, where things went from bad to worse for the visitors quite quickly. Having won the toss, and choosing to take the first centre pass (a real tactical advantage in Netball by starting with the possession) Brunel scored first, jumping into a 3 - 0 lead before Holloway scored. After 5 minutes Bru were leading 8 - 1, though five minutes later the lead had been “pegged” to 10 - 2. Holloway scored once more in the first quarter leaving the score at the quarter-break at 16-3. Whatever the Brunel girls had to drink at

the club raising half the funds. Now came the hard part; raising the substantial sum to enable the purchase of the bowling machine. The club as a whole rallied together to put on different fundraising events such as cake sales and BUCC’s inaugural intra-mural indoor cricket tournaments, with the final tournament in the year including the participation of Women’s Hockey, Women’s Cricket and a VP Student Activities Selection. Brunel Cricket’s Monday night event in the Academy was Playboy night, and an improvement on the year before enabled the club to get closer to the target set. Thanks should be given to Brunel Tennis club for lending their speed gun to the Cricket club which enabled us to hold a bowling competition to find Brunel’s fastest bowler. Finally, after a long winter, we succeeded in reaching our target and over the summer the bowling machine was ordered. The bowling machine has

quarter time seemed to have helped. After about six minutes of gradually stretching their lead, Holloway scored again, before Brunel sprinted to a 29 - 4 lead at half time. If Royal Holloway thought that, now they’d effectively had their warm-up of

now arrived, and was enthusiastically assembled by keen committee members for a test session, with one player saying ‘Christmas has come early’. Brunel Cricket is a small club that has done something that perhaps couldn’t have been achieved two years ago. It shows that a small club can achieve anything if they put their minds to it.

half an hour, albeit during the game, what happened in the third quarter didn’t help. Discipline (or lack of ) among the Holloway defence led to numerous penalty passes for the Brunel shooters, and by the end of the third quarter, Brunel had an unassailable 43 – 5 lead.

Whether you bought the cakes, came to Playboy Night or attended the intramural tournaments; Brunel Cricket is truly thankful to everyone who helped the club achieve this goal and we hope to see the support equalled during our winter season which kick starts with the BUCS Indoor Regionals at the University of Hertfordshire on 7th November.

The final quarter, and the match, finished 53 - 7, with the girls having averaged a goal per minute of game play. The Royal Holloway centre, Zahra Jefferies had a very good game and was Brunel’s player of the match for the opposition, and Jo Rowland, the starting Brunel centre, was the player of the game from the point of view of the Away team. Personally I think one of the best players on court was Brunel GK/GD Megan Gibson, who performed exceptionally well throughout the match in both positions ensuring Holloway didn’t reach double figures. Coach Lisa Sumpter had the following to say on the performance, “It is a nice strong start to the season, especially considering I needed to try out a few things after half time using subs. There is definitely lots to work on but it is a solid start. I’m very pleased with the girls today!”

Wednesday 17th November 2010 Team Opposition Please note all fixtures are subject to change. Timings are estimates. Not all fixtures may be listed so keep an eye out! Wednesday 3rd November 2010 Team Opposition Men’s Badmington Women’s Fencing Men’s Football 1s Men’s Football 3s Women’s Football 1s Women’s Football 2s Men’s Hockey 2s Men’s Hockey 3s Women’s Hockey 2s Netball 1s Netball 3s Rugby League Men’s Rugby 2s Women’s Tennis 1s

Brighton 1s UCL 1s Cardiff 1s Imperial 3s UWIC 1s St. Mary’s 1s Essex 2s Reading 2s Imperial 1s UWIC 1s Roehampton 4s St. Mary’s 2s Kent 2s Hertfordshire 1s

Location Sports Hall Exercise Studio Centre Pitch Site 5 Site 5 Site 5 Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Netball Hall Netball Hall Site 5 Site 5 Outside Courts

Time 2pm 2pm 3pm TBC 2pm 2pm 1pm 4pm 2.45pm 3pm 5pm 2.15pm 2.15pm 1pm

Wednesday 10th November 2010 Team Opposition Men’s Badmington 1s Men’s Basketball 1s Women’s Basketball 1s Women’s Fencing Men’s Football 2s Men’s Football 3s Men’s Football 4s Golf 1s Golf 2s Male Hockey 1s Male Hockey 2s Male Hockey 3s Netball 1s Netball 3s Netball 4s Men’s Rugby 2s Women’s Rugby Men’s Table Tennis 2s

Oxford South Bank 1s Sussex 1s Imperial 2s Sussex 1s St. Mary’s 2s Portsmouth 5s Portsmouth 1s Royal Holloway 2s Kent 1s Reading 2s Royal Holloway 2s Gloucester 1s St. Mary’s 1s Portsmouth 3s Brighton 2s Swansea Essex 2s

Location Sports Hall Sports Hall Sports Hall Exercise Studio Site 5 Site 5 Site 5 Stockley Park Stockley Park Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Netball Hall Netball Hall Netball Hall Site 5 Site 5 Exercise Studio

Time 1pm 7.30pm 5pm 4pm 2pm 2pm 2pm TBC TBC TBC TBC TBC 5pm 1pm 3pm 2.15pm 2.15pm 1pm

Women’s Badmington 1s Men’s Fencing Men’s Football 4s Women’s Football 2s Golf 1s Men’s Hockey 3s Women’s Hockey 1s Women’s Hockey 2s Women’s Hockey 3s Lacrosse Netball 2s Netball 5s Netball 6s Rugby League Men’s Rugby 1s Women’s Rugby Men’s Squash 2s Men’s Squash 3s Men’s Table Tennis 1s Men’s Tennis 1s Women’s Tennis Men’s Volleyball

Reading 1s Surrey 1s Kingston 1s Brighton 1s Bucks New Uni. 1s Imperial 3s Exeter 1s Portsmouth 1s Brighton 3s Essex 1s Chichester 1s Bucks New Uni. 2s LSE 3s Essex 1s Surrey 1s Hertfordshire 1s Reading 3s Bucks New Uni. 1s UCL 1s Chichester 1s UCL 1s Chichester 1s

Location Sports Hall Exercise Studio Site 5 Site 5 Stockley Park Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Cemetery Pitch TBC Netball Hall Netball Hall TBC Site 5 Site 5 Squash Courts Squash Courts Exercise Studio Outdoor Courts Outdoor Courts Sports Hall

Time 2pm 4pm 2pm 2pm TBC TBC TBC TBC TBC 2pm TBC TBC TBC TBC 2.15pm 2.15pm 1pm 3pm 1pm 1pm 1pm 5pm

Le Nurb - November 2010

26 Sport Template

Wednesday 24th November 2010 Team Opposition Women’s Badmington 1s Women’s Basketball 1s Men’s Fencing Men’s Football 1s Women’s Football 1s Women’s Football 2s Netball 2s Men’s Squash 1s Men’s Squash 2s Men’s Table Tennis 1s

Queen Mary 1s Kent 1s Essex 1s Bournemouth 1s Portsmouth 1s Canterbury CC 1s Kent 1s Royal Holloway 2s Imperial 3s Brighton 1s

Wednesday 1st December 2010 Team Opposition Men’s Badmington 1s Men’s Badmington 2s Men’s Basketball 1s Men’s Basketball 2s Women’s Fencing Men’s Football 2s Men’s Football 3s Men’s Football 5s Golf 2s Men’s Hockey 1s Men’s Hockey 2s Women’s Hockey 1s Netball 1s Netball 3s Netball 4s Rugby League Men’s Rugby 2s Women’s Rugby

Bristol Roehampton Middlesex 1s Brighton 1s City 1s Reading 1s Chichester 1s Imperial 3s Portsmouth 2s Brighton 1s Roehampton 2s Bristol 1s Cardiff 1s Brighton 1s St. Mary’s 2s Gloucester 3s Uni. of Arts 1s Kent 1s

Location Sports Hall Sports Hall Exercise Studio Centre Pitch Site 5 Site 5 TBC Squash Courts Squash Courts Exercise Studio

Location Sports Hall Sports Hall Sports Hall Sports Hall Exercise Studio Site 5 Site 5 Site 5 TBC Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Multi-use Astro Netball Hall Netball Hall TBC TBC Site 5 Site 5

Time 2pm 5.30pm 4pm 3pm 2pm 2pm TBC TBC TBC 1pm

Time 1pm 1pm 8pm 5.30pm 1pm 2pm 2pm 2pm TBC TBC TBC TBC TBC 1pm TBC TBC TBC TBC

Wednesday 20th October 2010 Team Score Men’s Badminton 1s Men’s Badminton 2s Women’s Badminton1s Men’s Basketball 1s Men’s Basketball 2s Women’s Basketball 1s Men’s Fencing Women’s Fencing Men’s Football 1s Men’s Football 2s Men’s Football 3s Men’s Football 4s Men’s Football 5s Women’s Football 1s Women’s Football 2s Golf 1s Golf 2s Men’s Hockey 1s Men’s Hockey 2s Men’s Hockey 3s Women’s Hockey 1s Women’s Hockey 2s Women’s Hockey 3s Lacrosse Netball 1s Netball 2s Netball 3s Netball 4s Netball 5s Netball 6s Rugby League Men’s Rugby 1s Men’s Rugby 2s Women’s Rugby Men’s Squash 1s Men’s Squash 2s Men’s Squash 3s Men’s Table Tennis 1s Men’s Table Tennis 2s Men’s Tennis 1s Men’s Tennis 2s Women’s Tennis 1s Men’s Volleyball

1-7 6-2 3-5 64 - 112 52 - 63 38 - 63 135 - 64 86 - 100 0-4 3-0 0-3 0-3 3-2 0-1 3-4 3-3 0.5 - 5 6-1 2-1 2-1 4-1 5-4 0-4 N/P 52 -20 46 - 49 22 - 23 39 - 25 35 - 10 53 - 7 N/P 10 - 21 5 - 33 20 - 5 4-1 3-2 2-3 15 - 2 17 - 0 4-8 4-8 N/P 1-3

Opposition Bath 1s Reading 2s Chichester 1s Oxford 1s Roehampton 1s Kent 1s Royal Holloway 1s Uni. of London 1s Bath 1s Brunel 3s Brunel 2s Westminster 1s Uni. of C. Arts 2s Hertfordshire 1s Essex 1s Brighton 1s Portsmouth 2s Portsmouth 1s Royal Holloway 1s Royal Holloway 2s UWIC 1s Chinchester 2s Bucks New Uni. Kent 1s Bristol 1s Kent 1s Kingston 1s Royal Holloway 1s Westminster 1s Royal Holloway 3s St. George’s 1s Reading 2s Brighton Royal Holloway 1s Brunel 3s Brunel 2s Brighton 1s LSE 2s Portsmouth 1s Bucks New Uni. 1s Portsmouth 1s

Streak L W L L L L W L L W L L W L L X L W W W W W L W L L W W W WL LL W W W L W W L L L

Wednesday 27th October 2010 Team Score Men’s Badminton 1s Men’s Badminton 2s Women’s Badminton1s Men’s Basketball 1s Men’s Basketball 2s Women’s Basketball 1s Men’s Fencing Women’s Fencing Men’s Football 1s Men’s Football 2s Men’s Football 3s Men’s Football 4s Men’s Football 5s Women’s Football 1s Women’s Football 2s Golf 1s Golf 2s Men’s Hockey 1s Men’s Hockey 2s Men’s Hockey 3s Women’s Hockey 1s Women’s Hockey 2s Women’s Hockey 3s Lacrosse Netball 1s Netball 2s Netball 3s Netball 4s Netball 5s Netball 6s Rugby League Men’s Rugby 1s Men’s Rugby 2s Women’s Rugby Men’s Squash 1s Men’s Squash 2s Men’s Squash 3s Men’s Table Tennis 1s Men’s Table Tennis 2s Men’s Tennis 1s Men’s Tennis 2s Women’s Tennis 1s Men’s Volleyball

5-3 6-2 0-8 66 - 73 Cancelled 41 - 45 120 - 118 Postponed 4-2 2-2 3-1 10 - 1 4-1 0-2 N/P 2.5 - 3.5 1-5 1-1 3-2 0-3 0-5 3-1 1-0 Cancelled 65 - 18 69 - 23 33 - 32 N/P 38 - 6 15 - 15 42 - 22 37 - 3 Walkover N/P 3-2 N/P 3-0 4 - 13 Postponed 12 - 0 N/S 2 - 10 Postponed



Bristol Kingston 2s Brighton 1s Middlesex 1s


Royal Holloway 1s Sussex 1s City 1s Brighton 1s St. Mary 2s Reading 1s TVU 1s St. Mary 6s Chinchester 1s Bucks New Uni. 2s Surrey 1s Brighton 1s Portsmouth 2s Royal Vets 1s Bristol 1s St. Mary 1s Imperial 2s Cardiff 1s Kings 1s Imperial Medics 1s Uni. of C. Arts TVU 1s Gloucester 3s Royal Holloway 1s St. Mary’s 3s Portsmouth 1s Surrey 2s Kings 1s Kent 2s Imperial 2s Roehampton 2s Roehampton 1s Reading 1s

November 2010 - Le Nurb

Template Sport 27

Football: A Tale of two Home Teams; Brunel 2s v Brunel 3s Arvinraj Rambojun From the start the Brunel Seconds dominated and were duly 1-0 ahead through a penalty, awarded for a blatant push in the 18 yard box. Despite the Thirds keeper correctly diving to his left, the attacking number 18, Mathieu, calmly slotted the ball into the net. The Thirds were quick to respond through one or two half chances, yet all too often they let themselves down in conceding possession carelessly. With the Seconds also pressed high up the pitch the midfield became congested and the Thirds couldn’t assert themselves. Naturally the game turned into a scrappy affair with only Mathieu impressing. Unsurprisingly, it was he who added a second for the team in white after a cool chip when one on one with the keeper. Shortly thereafter the left winger for the

From the Archives Pimps and Prostitutes work the Academy

Seconds added a third when he had plenty of time and space to collect a cross field ball, cut in on his right foot and shot across the keeper into the bottom right corner of the net. Due to less goal mouth action the second half was far less eventful and by the end the match had become the definition of lethargy.

Route 66 : November 2001 On Tuesday 9th October, the Academy for organizing it and continuing the quality played host to the Rugby Club Theme Night, tradition of Sports social nights. the sell-out success that was Pimps and Prostitutes. After a good start to the Social Calendar from the Football Club, the Rugby boys kept up the tradition to ensure that the Pimps and Prostitutes Night was a classic and they did not disappoint! With tickets that sold like hotcakes, it was great to see the Club being supported by so many people without a direct interest in Rugby (or the players!). The variety of costumes produced although some undeniably dodgy (no names Sparky!) were highly amusing (Athers!) and although the dance club were noticeably absent from the stage, the dance floor was heaving to the standard tunes of Jamie C. Unfortunately the night was cut short by the fire alarm but even this couldn’t ruin what was a great night, thanks to the Rugby Club

Autumn Placement and Careers Fair Monday 8th November 2010 Sports Hall 1pm 4pm

See website for details

Le Nurb - November 2010

28 Sport Template

Le SPORT Rugby: Brunel 1st team maul rivals Royal Holloway Adil Khan Deshmukh Site 5 was blessed by glorious sunshine and pleasant winds as a solid performance by Men’s Rugby 1sts saw off local rivals Royal Holloway (RH). Brunel had just come off the back of an extremely poor performance against St George’s Medics on 20th October, and the showing by the team was a vast improvement and the perfect retort to the disappointment of the previous week. Early on in the match, Brunel took a 3-0 lead after being awarded a penalty for the tackler not releasing, with Tom Stokes converting the kick. Another penalty resulted in a decision to kick the ball into the corner being vindicated when a vintage catch and drive resulted in Open-side Flanker Tom Ratcliffe scoring to increase the lead to 8-0, with the conversion missed. The first half was a solid start for Brunel with the forwards being dominant in the maul enabling the team to drive RH deep into their own half; however the pack was being soundly beaten in the scrum. RH’s dominance in the scrum was counteracted by the strong performance of Number 8 Luke Byrne; Byrne continuously saved the scrum by picking the ball from the back and wheeling off, always gaining

significant ground. Line-outs were problematic for both sides in the first half, with many throws being penalised for not being straight and the troubles for the home lineout continued as RH started to win a few against the throw. Indiscipline was Brunel’s main problem in the first half as it continuously bailed RH out and it was the source of their first and only points of the day with their kicker scoring a penalty from roughly thirty metres out. RH’s kicker had the opportunity to cut Brunel’s lead to just two points, however he missed the kick and Brunel went into the break 8-3 up. In the second half, Brunel eradicated the indiscipline of the first half and it showed with a dominating performance, RH struggled to get out of their own half. The first points of the second half came courtesy of a quick move from a tap and go, with Brunel getting quick ball to the outside for right winger Sam Randall to go over in the corner to make the score 13-3. Brunel’s lead was extended further when a scrum from RH’s twenty-two resulted in Tom Stokes kicking a great ball into the left corner where winger Huw Bowen was able to touch the ball down to make the score 18-3. The points were now coming thick and

fast for Brunel, with back row Bobby Coles scoring a try in line with ‘continuous Toulouse style play’. Paddy Brown kicked to make the score 25-3. Bru’s superior fitness was proving to be extremely important, as the away pack was starting to tire significantly shown by Brunel’s late dominance of the scrum. A tap and go from a penalty inside RH’s twentytwo led to Adam Geale scoring a quick-fire try under the posts; which was converted to make it 32-3. In the dying seconds, Matt Bennett scored an unconverted try to

Ben Vallely New floor. New markings. New season. Brunel Basketball is back. Forty minutes of high tempo action split into four quarters, end to end. A full Sports Hall. A buzzing crowd. Bring the Noise! The opener for Men’s Basketball 1sts was a hard fought affair, however the scholars from Oxford were superior in every respect. After winning the tip-off, Oxford sailed into a 12 - 26 lead by the end of the first quarter. Fast, clean action kept flowing by the skill of both sides, despite the deficit, and a worrying lack of players following in shots for the home team, Brunel looked like they were just warming up. The second quarter was a slow starter, but Brunel got the first points, only to gift Oxford with 2 free-throws almost immediately. Then came the main controversy of the game however, with the score at 16 – 31 one of the Oxford defenders elbowed a Bru attacker in the neck. The referee gave Oxford the possession claiming charging by the attacker as the foul apparently wasn’t under the basket. Understandably the Brunel bench were incensed, as were the crowd. Sweat was mopped off the floor, UNDER THE BASKET (the new lines which don’t officially come in until 2012 include a semi-

complete the rout with Brunel winning 37-3. After the match, Coach Gareth Rise gave his view on the team’s performance, ‘From last week’s performance, numbers one to twentytwo bought into the ethic of Brunel Rugby and showed what intensity and work rate can achieve.’ Overall, it was a good team performance, but there is still room for improvements and the team should be able to take the momentum from this match into the Cup tie at Queen Mary’s on November 3rd.

circle under the basket for purposes equal to this call) proving the referee wrong. By half-time the score had reached 32 – 44. As the end of the third approached however, Oxford stepped on the gas, and Brunel couldn’t grab the handbrake fast enough. The gap stretched to 30, with a 4777 score line. If Brunel thought Oxford were now done and they could fight their way back into the game they were mistaken. Oxford kept their foot to the floor and showed their superiority completely, with the score finishing at 64 - 112. After the game, I spoke to Noel Kinrade, one of the coaches and he had the following to say, “The crowd were incredible, absolutely outstanding. These guys (Bru) played terrible, those guys (Ox) played outstanding, and that result reflects a combination of the two. The crowd were absolutely outstanding though!” Brunel’s boys were applauded by an incredible crowd, something the coaches were very quick to appreciate, and must be reminded it was only match-day one. There is plenty to work on, but they’ll get there. Just make sure that you attend the next home game. The support is always welcome, and really intimidates the opposition.

Issue 3 2010