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LE NURB 20th October 2008




A word from the brain of Ben Moxey, Union of Brunel Students Media Officer.

Ben Moxey

Designer: Sarah Francis

News: Sub Editor: Mike Ryder Contributors: Rebecca Wilcock Peter Giblin Lucy Palmer Kelly Dolan Deborah Klaassen Mara Arts

Features: Sub Editor: Donna Law Contributors: Diane McMillan Joe Greenwood Georgette Dyer Jatin Patel Emma Jolly Lubna Begum Joe Sommerlad Mike Ryder Helen Murdoch

Sport: Sub Editor: Ben Vallely

Wow, what a week.... one of the most tiring and most amazing weeks of my life! And I’d do it all again! For those Freshers out there, once again, welcome! We at the Union hope you enjoyed freshers week as much as we did! The numbers were immense: 3000 moving in; 6500 through the door at Freshers Fayre; 450,000 hits on! For the returners, welcome back. As you can see, LeNURB has had a polish and a lick of paint for the new year, and we are geared up for the best year yet at Brunel! “...The numbers were immense: As for licking paint, if you’re daft enough to want to join our 3000 moving in; 6500 through the stellar radio station, URB, the door at Freshers Fayre; 450,000 broadcast is running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and we have spaces! hits on!...” It’s great fun, really easy and could kick off a stunning career on the wireless! Finally, I must put out a call for layup artists and designers out there. From the next issue our layup person is leaving us so we really need someone to fill her sizeable (size 3) shoes! Please get in touch if you’re interested at

Contents Le News


If you’d like your name to appear here, get in touch with the editor at



Thoughts of a Fresher p.4

Anthropology? p.12

Thoughts of a Returner p.5

A Student’s Life p.13

October is GO!

Le Sport


Contributors: Ollie Willis Malachi McPherson Fay Djemil Donna Law Dan Ross

Film Reviews

Brunel Debating Society


Young, Gifted and Black p.8 Music Reviews



Le News

apocalyptic predictions could have led to the ultimate destruction of the entire galaxy, at least “ . . . y e a r s o f w o r k a n d billions in costs culminated it would’ve been in something of an something! Physics hasn’t underwhelming mild cheer Mmmm... Credit Crunch and a few claps...” changed much since Deborah Klaassen the creation of The The effects of the global credit crunch have Standard Model in the 1970’s, a theory which describes begun to be seen around the world as Ireland falls into the fundamental interactions between particles. Built in recession and England looks set to follow shortly. parts 100m underground the LHC runs a ring 17 miles Unemployment is now at its long crossing the Swiss-French border. Seven trillion highest for nine years as banks tighten their purse strings and are volts will power particle beams consisting of protons or lead ions through super-cooled magnets. Upon collision unable in some cases to provide they’ll recreate the loans or mortgages. In America President Bush asked conditions just after the Congress for $700bn (£380bn) to Big Bang, creating new particles and ushering in bring stability to the American a new era as it explores financial markets, but was refused by Congress. beyond known physics. Pessimists are suggesting the recession could last a few When The European years whilst more optimistic city traders say the

World News

economy will be more stable by “...with our sweet student loan we can Centre for Nuclear Research next summer. have a good giggle at the big-wig (CERN) finally switched on bankers who blow a billion in a day....” the device, years of work and Feel a draught? billions in costs culminated in Rebecca Wilcock something of an underwhelming mild cheer and a few Hurricane Ike hit Cuba and mid-west America claps. Collision has yet to take place – so no black holes including Texas, Louisiana, Tennessee and Ohio, yet, and recent equipment testing caused liquid helium leaving $31.5 billion of damage and 61 fatalities. The to leak into the tunnel system. Repairs and winter’s National Weather Service issued a ‘certain death’ elevated energy costs mean it won’t be operational until warning to the people of Texas, but despite this cheery next spring. forecast, almost 40% of people decided to forego the chaos of evacuation to battle against the worst of the storm. This year’s Freshers’ Week resulted in some thousands The day the world didn’t end of people (Contacts and Freshers) feeling not so fresh on Saturday morning! After a whole week of partying, Peter Giblin The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) presents this sporting, meeting new people and generally having fun, millennia’s latest Doomsday scare, and although the most of us spent the weekend sleeping and regaining

Campus News

Professor Heinz Wolff presents Gravity Every now and then, we get a story at LeNURB, that is just too good to be true. When this landed on my desk, I may have let out a squeal of delight…. Heinz Wolff has released a Nintendo DS game. Following in the footsteps of Dr Kawashima and the Nintendogs, the venerable professor has followed up his Great Egg Race TV show with a game called Professor Heinz Wolff’s Gravity, where the aim is to progress through 100 levels using barriers and items (and of course gravity) to press a button at the end of the course. Throughout, the Prof will be there in virtual format to guide and pester you to completion. In the next issue we will have a full length interview with the man himself and, hopefully, a full review of the game. Personally, I hope you will all join me in saluting this legend on campus.


strength. But it was a great week; why don’t we do it again some time?

The STUDENT Credit Crunch Kelly Dolan

Since the beginning of time students have been accused of being broke, debt ridden bums…but with our sweet student loan and cushy campus accommodation we can have a good giggle at the big-wig bankers who blow a billion in a day. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel so guilty about buying that new outfit last week anymore!

Too many beans in a Lecture theatre! Mike Ryder

Another year, another awful timetabling blunder.

This week, Creative Writing students experienced real value for money in their three-grand-a-year fees when over twenty students were forced to sit on the floor for the duration of a three hour lecture/seminar! Timetable clashes meant a class of thirty-five swelled to over sixty! This writer wonders why Brunel persists in subcontracting out timetabling responsibilities, if they cant tell that some beans and some beans is too many beans in a lecture theatre.

the lovely colour coded maps are all there) but surely the segregation of well and good, this writer wonders the old guys and the new guys wont Ben Moxey led to much harmony? The facilities why instead of investing in signs, the This Freshers Week saw the university over there “’s all well and good finding the right opening of the sexy, new Isambard are excellent, building, but if you don’t know what that didn’t spend complex (everything has a complex but no-one building is in the first place then you’re a the money these days). When I say Freshers on will use it, if bit stuck really....” Week, there aren’t any in there…they reorganising none of the cant be trusted. kids live there! Its yet another shame the somewhat ridiculous room With their sticky numbering system and get the in planning… hands, smelly feet timetables sorted out properly. I and posters of You are now entering the mean, its all a bit Disney, isn’t it? ‘You Morgan Freeman, are in the Goofy Zone!’ Now it’s all the uni decided to goofy zone.. well and good finding the right partition the west- Mike Ryder The more observant amongst building, but if you don’t know what side for returners that building is in the first place then you will have noticed our beloved and post-grads you’re a bit stuck really. Sort it out university has provided lovely new only. Now I can understand that Brunel! Freshers aren’t worthy of the mighty signs over the summer to help Isambard (Ed – Only the greats lived Freshers, the lost and the confused find their way around campus. While

The Isambard Complex

NEWSFLASHES: • A car thief who had his name and birth date tattooed on his neck is caught after CCTV images helped police track him down. • A couple in Cambodia give new meaning to "broken home" by sawing their home in half to avoid the divorce courts. • Goat 'condoms' save Kenyan herds - Drought is forcing Kenyan herdsmen to turn to traditional contraception to control the goat population! • The national debt clock in New York runs out of digits to record the spiralling figure. • Messages are beamed to a planet 20 light years from Earth in the hope they will reach intelligent alien life.


I’ve had some great nights out, stocked up on enough free Lea & Perrins to last the year, worried that one of my flatmates was dead (don’t worry, she soon resurfaced) and survived four fire alarms. I’ve even done my laundry! - On freshers week.

Thoughts of a Fresher... Diane McMillan

night was Pyjama Party at the It was with a combination of experience, but at least it broke the Academy. A night spent dancing trepidation and nervous excitement ice. around in your PJs with all your new that I rolled up at Brunel University After that our next port of friends turned out to be a great idea. for my first day. Unsure of what to call was the Academy. It was a fairly It was a brilliant night and a great expect, I cautiously entered Lacy Hall strange start to the night; you don’t with my suitcases and boxes in tow. generally end up in a fully lit nightclub opportunity to get some embarrassing Before I had a chance to catch my at seven thirty in the evening, without photos of your flatmates to use for breath I was soon surrounded by a even having had a few drinks to put blackmail purposes in the future. motley crew of smiley people, in you in the mood. It was a bit of a As the week wore on we bright coloured t-shirts. As I was soon slow start to the night, with a fairly found we had a lot of spare time on to discover, these were the contacts awkward atmosphere but once the our hands. This turned out to be no bad thing, though, as all that waiting who were on hand to carry bags, give alcohol started flowing and the lights around leads to lots of random banter advice about the best night outs, and went down people soon started to smooth over the introductions mingle and it turned into a great (if a with your flatmates, which is a great way to get to know them all better. It between new flatmates. bit random) night. The first day passed by in a By the next day friendships was also during these times of blur of introductions, boredom that we planned “...shouting daft songs at the top of your voice things like putting our money goodbyes to parents and while you’re still relatively sober is quite an together to buy the student hasty unpacking. At experience, but at least it broke the ice....” essentials such as a seven o’clock we were told to meet up outside microwave and a blender for were already being forged between my Bishop complex. When we got there making daiquiris. Daytime boredom flatmates - the most challenging part is also a great push towards the we were told to sit on the grass and being trying to remember everyone’s were then taught various chants by the names. And, surprisingly quickly, my student lifestyle of sleeping all day and partying all night! contacts. Sitting on the ground with a little room was starting to feel like Thursday brought the bunch of strangers, shouting daft home - it’s amazing how much Freshers Fayre, which in itself was songs at the top of your voice while difference a few posters and a string of you’re still relatively sober is quite an quite an experience. On walking into fairy lights can make. The second


the sports hall I was second year status some friends and I decided that Freshers suddenly surrounded by have more fun, and so made our way down to Loco’s in an seemingly hundreds of attempt to claim back that first year feeling. Firstly, I’d like to people who all wanted to say I’m sorry to anyone I offended by looking at you like you convince me that I really were Gary Glitter, but apparently I’ve completely forgotten the did want to join the art of making friends since those intense few weeks of it at the Climbing/Outdoors/ start of last year. A few drinks down the line, however, I found myself getting more into the action. A couple of my Ultimate Frisbee club. housemates were Contacts this year, so after half an hour I had Negotiating my way green stripes on my face, ‘Lancaster Forever’ scrawled down around the hall without one arm, and ‘Bishops Rule’ down the other. I felt like a traitor: being coerced into joining the Sci-Fi society last year I was a Saltasher. It was disappointing to see the lack of Saltash turned out to be an exercise in self-assertiveness. However, by presence in Loco’s this year, although one of my housemates the time I managed to fight my way out to freedom I had said she walked past it the other day and there were asbestos amassed quite an impressive selection of freebies, including removal vans parked outside, so maybe it’s for the best that posters, a UV pen, foot spray and a packet of strawberry flavoured condoms! Freebie-blagging was definitely one of the there aren’t many freshers living there. They’ve got that posh Isambard complex to swan around in now anyway… I bet they highlights of the week. don’t have sixteen people sharing one oven. Nah, I know it was One of the hardest things to get used to during a death trap, but there really was no beating going poor chic in Freshers week was the dreaded fire alarm, which seems to go off all too regularly. One minute you’re sitting in your kitchen, Saltash and having everyone in your corridor hear you going for a poo. glass in hand, chatting to your new flatmates and the next Anyway, hygiene standards between halls wasn’t the you’re being deafened by a klaxon and are expected to only thing I noticed was different about Brunel this year, oh no. stampede down the stairs and freeze to death outside until security decide it’s time for you to be allowed back in. By then It turns out the whole place has been divided into ‘zones’ now; what the heck is that about? I don’t know where the lifts are back in “...One minute you’re sitting in your anywhere is in this place at the best of times (I only action, but with kitchen chatting to your flatmates and found everyone keen to get the next you’re being deafened by a out the back upstairs there’s no option but to climb klaxon and are expected to stampede library down the stairs and freeze to death had the six flights of stairs outside...” more once again. At least than it’s a cheaper way of one floor in keeping fit than joining the gym. Although I am struggling to November last control my homicidal urges towards people who can’t cook a year) so now if slice of toast without setting off the fire alarm! some Fresher asks So all in all it’s been quite a week. I’ve met loads of me how to get to people, some of whom I’ll probably never see again and some who’ll hopefully become good friends. Along with my flatmates Zone B or wherever, I’m over the past week I’ve had some great nights out, stocked up on enough free Lea & Perrins to last the year, worried that one going to look like a right plonker. of my flatmates was dead (don’t worry, she soon resurfaced) Zones and things aside, though, some things at Brunel and survived four fire alarms. I’ve even successfully done my laundry – it’s not that bad, just make sure you take at least one never change. Freshers Fayre was just the same as ever (we flatmate with you to stop you getting bored. I can’t believe that crashed that too, we’re such wannabes). You grab heaps of Freshers Week is over, and that it’s already time to get down to posters of bands you don’t like/films you’ve never seen, take more condoms than is really healthy to use in a year, and just the serious business of lectures! generally get hassled by members of societies you have no real interest in joining. One guy from some hiking society asked my friend if she liked the outdoors, and she replied with, “I like watching television.” I wish I was that honest about my interests; last year I spent about half an hour listening to a girl talk about dance club. I dance like your average forty year old man. Emma Jolly It was also comforting to find that none of the little I’d forgotten how strangers just come over and talk to you things had changed either, the queerer aspects of life at Brunel during Freshers Week. After a few days of revelling in our new

Thoughts of a Returner...


having niggling doubts about whether you actually have that most Freshers will by now have already discovered. The anything in common with the people you’re bouncers are still just “...Some of those people are now my currently hanging out with: seriously don’t worry as weird and scary as ever, and the cleaners best friends, while some of them I about it. Some people are lucky and find their best have conveniently forgotten ever friend lives right next door to them, but the are still weirder and existed. It really is impossible to judge likelihood is that you’ll have to look a bit further to scarier than the bouncers. You also still who your real friends will be so early find the people you really get on with. It is a relief though when you can finally ditch that ‘Wow, have to wait for about on....” everybody loves everybody, isn’t that just so an hour at the bar in Liquid before getting served (be wise - buy four drinks at a LUCKY?!?’ attitude. It feels so good when you can finally time). admit to yourself, ‘you know what, I really hate that girl at Finally, I number 12…’ don’t think the whole I do like being in second year, but it’s still a little sad to ‘friend making’ think that this year actually counts, and that I should probably process will ever alter. turn up to a few lectures now and again. I walked into my first I remember meeting lecture, and the first thing the guy said to us was: “This year, my flatmates for the things get serious.” Damn. Enjoy it while you can, Freshers, first time last because trust me, it year. It was one “...It feels so good when you can goes immensely fast. finally admit to yourself, ‘you know It seems like just a of those rare what, I really hate that girl at moments when couple of months number 12…’” you’re so ago that I was frantically scouring nervous, you the charity shops of Uxbridge for a Halloween costume (make actually nearly poo yourself (I hope it’s not a mental note to buy white face paint ASAP, because last year the whole of Uxbridge had run out by the 31st, and I had to just me who gets that). But yeah, I remember for the first few weeks I met sooo many people. Some of those people are now paint my entire body with poster paints) and yet here we are again, a year later. Scary. my best friends, while some of them I have conveniently forgotten ever existed. It really is impossible to judge who your real friends will be so early on, so, to any freshers who might be


October is GO! The UBS Executive Team

The upcoming month is all go, with elections, campaigns and referenda to keep you all excited. The 20th October sees the by-election for the three remaining executive positions: RAG officer, Societies officer and International students’ officer. It is also the elections for our 7 Congress representatives for the upcoming year

more of you to have your say. We also see the Annual General Meeting taking place on the 6th so that we can ratify budgets for the upcoming year and present the officers’ reports of the last academic year.

course of your studies. From the 1st November to the 18th we are launching Operation Christmas Child “....Operation Christmas Child looks to spread We also have quite a in conjunction with Samaritan’s Purse. The venture looks to spread Christmas Christmas cheer to underprivileged children few events and campaigns going on cheer to underprivileged children across the world by sending them gift-filled over the course of across the world by sending them giftshoeboxes....” the month. From the filled shoeboxes. and also the 9 delegates who will be 3rd to 6th November is Union representing Brunel students at NUS Awareness Week; an opportunity for So, we hope you all get involved and national conference in April in you to gain an insight into the things take the opportunity to have your say Blackpool. Woohoo! November also the Union does and what the officers and also donate to good causes. We sees the referendum taking place for get up to. The 5th November is look forward to seeing you all over the the review. On the 13th November, National Stress Awareness Day, a course of the next month. the vote will be put to our student campaign designed to keep our body to change the structure of the students calm and gain insight into Union so it can be updated and allow how you can beat the stress during the

Brunel Debating Society Joe Greenwood

Hooray! With much fanfare and rolling out of red carpets (and just a little exaggeration) Brunel Debating Society has celebrated its inaugural debate at an event that was agreed by all present to be rather better than satisfactory. The launch event for the Union of Brunel Students’ newest society included not only a debate on whether the Olympics are a waste of money, but also a highly enjoyable introductory training session to bring newbies up-to-speed on the basics of the fine art that is debating. The training included some leisurely discussion and some initial rhetorical exercises covering subjects as diverse as whether hybrid cars are a waste of time, whether grey is the new black (daaarling!), and whether Bono is a dick (is there really any debate to be


had, honestly?). The training was designed to convey the point that being an ace actor (so you can convincingly assert a point) can be as important as knowing fact and figures when attempting to win over a discerning audience. The debate itself considered numerous points ranging all the way from the cold hard economics of the Olympics through to the sense of national pride that will come with them. Both sides put solid arguments and the points from the floor were extensive and interesting. Crucially, the team arguing that the Olympics are a waste of money won the audience vote by 15 votes to 12 (with 1 abstention). In summary, it was not too shabby at all.

Naturally, the event was only the beginning of a hopefully illustrious run for the Brunel Debating Society. In that light, they have already organised their first event: Debate: ‘This house believes that Amy Winehouse is a tortured genius’ Wednesday 23rd of October, 8pm The Atrium, Union of Brunel Students, Hamilton Centre For more information on the event or on the society more generally, please email: Ben Vallely Secretary, Brunel Debating Society

Barack Obama Young, gifted and black - he’s AfricanAmerican and on track to be the first black president of the US.

Young, Gifted and Black Nat Foster

October is Black History Month and so frequently I hear young black students posing the same questions day in and day out. • ‘What should I do?’ • ‘How can I succeed in a culture which appears closed to me?’ • ‘How can I progress in a society which tell me everyday that young black people have been poorly educated, and that our ambitions are low?’ The words of the Nina Simone song ring in my ears…. To be young, gifted and black, Oh what a lovely precious dream To be young, gifted and black, Open your heart to what I mean In the whole world you know There are a billion boys and girls Who are young, gifted and black, And that’s a fact!

Group on Youth Affairs. She is also an Honorary Vice President for the British Youth Council. In 2007 she was appointed to the Children & Families Select Committee and is the Assistant Chief Whip for Gordon Brown's Government. She was born in London to Jamaican immigrant parents. She was the first black female minister in the House of Commons. She was the third black woman to become a British MP, the others being Diane Abbott and Oona King. She is Dawn Butler MP

After winning the 2005 series of Sir Alan Sugar’s ‘The Apprentice’, and landing a one year contract with the health and beauty division of Amstrad, he remained in employment for a further year until announcing that he was giving up his £100,000 a year job to start a male grooming business of his own, as well as There are a multitude of assumptions about young black The Bright Ideas Trust, a people in the UK today that shape the reality of our lives, social initiative to inspire the from issues relating to gun and knife crime, our low socionext generation of economic standing and family life. These negative issues entrepreneurs. In 2007 he surrounding our community shape the way we see became a Social Enterprise ourselves and instigate the self fulfilling prophecy. Ambassador as part of a British Government initiative that However, we are successful; we are leaders in our aims to apply modern business solutions to social and communities and we are trendsetters. I present to you just environmental problems. He is of Jamaican origin and was a few… born in East London, Plaistow where he still lives with his In 2005 she won by an overwhelming majority to represent family. He is Tim Campbell Brent South for Labour. She is the Parliamentary Private Secretary to the Health Minister Jane Kennedy, and in 2006 was appointed Chair of the All Party Parliamentary


He is a British Rastafarian writer and dub poet. He is a well-known figure in contemporary English literature, and was included in ‘The Times’ list of Britain's top 50 postwar writers in 2008. He was born and raised in Birmingham, England. He had finished full time education at the age of 13. His poetry is strongly influenced by the music and poetry of Jamaica and what he calls 'street politics'. He was not satisfied preaching about the sufferings of Black people to Black people, so he sought a wider mainstream audience. Over a 22-day period in 1991 he performed on every continent on this planet. He was the first person to record with The Wailers after the death of Bob Marley in a musical tribute to Nelson Mandela. In 2003, he wrote in ‘The Guardian’ that he had turned down an OBE from the Queen because it reminded him of "how my foremothers were raped and my forefathers brutalised." He is not afraid of controversy. He is Dr. Benjamin Zephaniah She has served in two terms of government for Labour. As Foreign Office Minister working for the home department at the Lord Chancellor's Office she is effectively number two to Lord Irvine of Largs and the lead minister on immigration and asylum matters, legal aid, legal services and the development of Civil Law in the UK. In 1991 she made legal history becoming the first black female QC (Queens Counsel) at the age of 35. She was made a bencher of the Middle Temple in 1997, becoming a judge in 1999, and raised to the Privy Council in 2001. In 1997 she became the joint first black woman peer when she was created a peer as Baroness of Asthal, in the County of Oxfordshire. She is Baroness Patricia Scotland He is recognised as one of the leading architects of his generation in the UK. He has been a lecturer at the Royal College of Art where he received his MA in Architecture in 1993. In June 2001, he won the Idea Store competition to design two new-build libraries in East London. The first of the two Idea Stores (near Canary Wharf) opened in July 2004 and won a 2005 RIBA Building Award. The 5-storey flagship library/community centre with a top floor café and dance/yoga studio opened in October 2005. His work has led him to his nomination for one of the UK’s most


prestigious awards in architecture, The Stiling Prize. He is David Adjaye I am a 2008 Brunel Law School graduate. I was Brunel African and Caribbean Society Events organiser and a Residences Student Mentor. I oversee the academic & welfare issues that students at Brunel may face. I sit on a variety of University and Union committees representing students. I’m also the union’s point of contact when it comes to issues regarding equality and diversity. I oversee the Unions campaigns for the year and as well as that I oversee the running of the Advice & Representation Centre (ARC). I am the author of this article. I am Vice President Education & Welfare. I am Natalie Foster

Who are you?

Brunel African and Caribbean Society (ACS) presents….

‘Who are you?’ Monday 27th October 2008 Howell Theatre (H001) Doors Open 7pm Price: Members £4, Non-Members £6

Music Reviews proud Boddingtons paunch he could probably just push the little oik over anyway. On a record of lush, layered but sometimes syrupy ornamentation, 'Some Riot' comes as its real shock and shuddering heart. Against stark and mournful piano and Joe Sommerlad strings, Garvey's hoarse wail is suddenly hardened and breaks in with the ominous: “A friend of mine grows his very own I wanted to hate this. brambles...” Later he asks: “When will my friend start singing I've never set much again?” A more haunting question you'd be hard pressed to stock by the Mercury find in pop. It's presumably an allusion to Bryan Glancy, the Prize and, from the outside, Elbow look like late singer-songwriter whose ghost stalks the record and whose just another Radiohead nickname gave it its title. Away from the morose, there's a nice dash of grimy kitchen sink naturalism at its centre with 'The tribute act floundering in the indie ocean, clinging to the Loneliness of a Tower Crane Driver' and a pleasantly verbose bloated corpse of Britpop for want of a better idea. But I was duet with bequiffed Sheffield crooner Richard Hawley on 'The wrong. These perennial “underdogs” are actually rather good. Fix.' The rumbling 'Grounds For Divorce' is an early It's not all a success, highlight, pounding however. 'Starlings' and out some of that “....Elbow look like just another Radiohead tribute 'Mirrorball' are tedious and twee, baggy Mancunian act floundering in the indie ocean, clinging to the crying out to be called “lovely” energy we liked about bloated corpse of Britpop for want of a better idea. when actually you find yourself Doves or The Stone But I was wrong....” drumming your fingers with Roses. Also excellent is impatience. And, personally, I 'The Bones of You,' setting out frontman Guy Garvey's don't buy their sunny, carpe diem optimism on 'One Day Like healthy preoccupation with death from the off. “I love the This.' It's too obvious and cynical a punt for radio-friendly, bones of you that I will never escape,” he moans. Elbow anthemic festival sing-along, idiot hero-worship status. Still, benefit hugely from Garvey's creaking-barstool romanticism they deserve their accolade for sheer perseverance, and, in the and weary experience in a field dominated by skinny-jean teenagers with nothing to say other than what an agony it is to end, Guy Garvey just wants to be loved like everybody else. Which is a shame, as there's a truly miserable band here just be famous. His astute and wordy lyrical observations leave waiting to get out. Why deny yourselves, lads? only Alex Turner still standing in his wake. And with that

Elbow: The Seldom Seen Kid

ear. The craftsmanship of the band’s instrument playing is, as always, second to none and drummer Nathan Followhill continues to inspire. His drumming never overpowers a track or settles as a wall flower; it is an entirely essential element. Many anticipated this most recent offering to be their Laura Watts best to date, but Only By the Night doesn’t quite achieve this. The recently Nevertheless, certain tracks stand out and could easily be released fourth offering regarded as anthems. Tracks like debut release Sex on Fire and from southern-fried Notion greet the ear with pure musical bliss. Back to Kings’ American preacher’s class of old, they will suit perfectly the main stage at festivals sons Kings of Leon around the globe. has met mixed “...they serve to excite and The band said reviews. The BBC’s quench the listener’s thirst, that they wanted to from the otherwise barren “tackle their southern Chris Jones declared it as “the album that the world's been landscape....” waiting for the Kings Of Leon to make;” other critics and roots again,” and the fans alike haven’t been quite so positive. efforts on the reflective The album’s Followhill and Animal montage art work Revelry and the poignant I Want You have paid off in that is striking and commanding, but in my view this doesn’t reflect respect. Certain tracks are reminiscent of songs from previous the tracks on the album. Certain tracks pull you in after only albums; Sex on Fire includes evocative guitar riffs similar to one listen, others take a few listens to appreciate, and some fail those of Aha Shake Heartbreak and even predecessor album, to achieve such an effect even after several meetings with the Because of the Times. The greatest tracks don’t seem to have

Kings of Leon: Only By the Night.


diverged from their classic neo-garage rock style, but those that have attempted to end up quite bland. Caleb’s gypsy folk drool is there to guide and preach the album to you; he seems to have experienced no problem in transcending the band’s post adolescent indie days, to those of current stadium glory. With an exciting summer behind them and a UK tour imminent in December, Kings have made the unusual

step of disappointing me. The problem I find with Only By the Night is that it doesn’t cement at all - neither Kings’ status nor the tracks. Individual tracks don’t work to complement one another; instead, the few quality tracks that there are on the album stand out like an oasis in a desert - they serve to excite and quench the listener’s thirst, from the otherwise barren landscape.

Film Reviews and a cat and mouse game ensues as gangs attempt to capture our hero. Denton is helped by his drug dealer Saul Silver, expertly played by James Franco who can be recognised from the Spiderman franchise. The character’s Helen Murdoch journey is a mix of hilarious comedy scenes – watch out for **** 4 Stars their fight with fellow dealer Red played by Danny McBride – and there are some close moments between our two lead Director: David Gordon Green characters. Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride Now, as farfetched as this plot is, Pineapple Express Length: 111 minutes delivers in all the right places. The casting of Franco as loner drug deal Saul fits perfectly against Rogen’s accidental hero, It seems that the past few years have been and there are plenty of funny moments if you’re after a dominated with the comedic stylings of Judd Apatow and relaxing night out with a few friends. However, if stoner Seth Rogen; it began with the hilarious The 40 Year-Old comedies aren’t your thing then I would Virgin, gave us the teen comedy “ farfetched as this plot not recommend this movie, as a five Superbad, and now we have another is, Pineapple Express delivers minute section about a cross-shaped comedy from the Apatow camp: spliff may not appeal. I thoroughly in all the right places...” Pineapple Express. enjoyed watching Pineapple Express as a The plot is as unbelievable as light movie to watch with friends and then have a few pints most of Seth Rogen’s work but it still has a certain laughing about it. something. The movie follows the journey of stoner Dale This movie is a standard comedy that hits the right Denton (Rogen) who is the only witness to a murder by a spot for a movie of the week. It is not going to live on as a local drug lord and a crooked cop. In haste, Denton drops classic comedy but for a fun night out I would recommend his roach containing the very rare weed Pineapple Express, this movie.

On board with the Pineapple Express?

His film Tropic Thunder is based around a bunch of Hollywood prima donnas making a war movie set in Nathan Tyers Vietnam who inadvertently get caught in fight with a drug cartel. Armed with fake guns, movie explosives and their Director: Ben Stiller acting skills they have to escape alive. The film certainly Starring: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, delivered on the comedy aspect, with humour interspersed Robert Downey Jr. with action and drama scenes. Thankfully this film avoids Length: 107 minutes the cliché slapstick humour that Hollywood seems to deliver quite often, but neither is it a film that makes you think too So I’m a fresher, completely new to university, and at hard. You won’t feel emotionally for the characters of this Freshers Fayre I show some interest in writing in this very film, but maybe that’s a good thing, considering that they’re magazine. So, what do they do? They ask me to review the all misfits. The only let down for this film is the ending, as it’s film Tropic Thunder as my first assignment with a deadline a typical Hollywood ending.  less than a week away (Ed: welcome to journalism…). Otherwise Tropic Thunder is definitely a Watching a film and sitting down with friends saying that it’s recommended must see, especially with Tom Cruise making cool or rubbish is easy; however, that isn’t a review. This is. I a special cameo appearance as a complete lunatic (Ed: admit, as a film fan, I like to criticise, but writing about a playing himself then?). Definitely one of Ben Stiller’s better film is quite hard, as I’m now finding out. I’d hate to imagine films of his writing-directing career. a film writer’s method, never mind directing it. Well, that is exactly what Ben Stiller delivered.

Tropic Thunder


The Strangers Georgette Dyer Director: Brian Bertino Starring: Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman Length: 85 minutes

staying there (Tyler & Speedman) in the process. Kristen and James are supposedly enjoying a romantic weekend away, but it’s not just their unwanted guests that cause the mood to turn sour. However, as bad as it is, you still can’t help screaming out, “RUN – HE’S BEHIND YOU!”

If you’ve already seen the trailer, you’ve no doubt seen the best, or worst, this horror tale has to offer. All in all, Bertino clearly fails to include much suspense or a story line in his Ultimately, this horror flick by debut flop, The Strangers. Here’s hoping that his mooted director Brian Bertino fails to offer much more than a trio of sequel, which is scheduled to start filming in early 2009, masked psychopathic men and women making random provides a viewing more prone to leave you jumping out of appearances and then miraculously disappearing in and out your seat rather than slumped in it. of a secluded holiday home, terrifying the adorable couple

Anthropology? Lubna Begum

a ‘sexual anthropologist.’ Anthropology is Famous anthropologists can write volumes the study and dissecting human behaviour, those with the credentials and observation of scientific research to form and back up theories relating to human behaviour, human behaviour. These theories relate to the holistic view especially their that is anthropology. But I take a more light-hearted society and approach. No two people are ever alike, but when customs. It encountering and socialising with a variety of people (all includes the part of the uni experience), you will inevitably spot similarities and similarities and differences of the trends which I “...Sex and the City fans will world’s people. recognise Carrie Bradshaw often find Humans are amusing. Case as, in her own words, a complex creatures, ‘sexual anthropologist.’...” in point, I having the ability to think beyond the realms of their most recently got basic of animal instincts i.e. eat, drink and procreate. talking to a friend-of-a-friend, and, within five minutes of We’re educated from an early age, and encouraged to speaking to him, felt I kind of had him figured out. He was question and observe the world around us. We are also the kind of bloke who only liked art-house films, hailed equipped with the ability to feel emotion. With all this in Catcher in the Rye as a literary masterpiece, and when the mind, it’s not surprising human behaviour was going to be inevitable MySpace friend request came, had the most put under the microscope, and thus, anthropology was obscure track loaded on his page. Pretentious is too strong born… a word, but you know the kind of people I’m talking Often identifying trends and patterns with how about… humans interact with each other, and exploring the Anthropology appeals to all kinds of people, from reasons why people act and behave a certain way, those who observe it, to those who anthropology looks at a range of things in “...He was the kind of bloke who only liked can identify with it. When looking at depth: from art-house films, hailed Catcher in the Rye as a anthropological discussions, we can relationships and love, literary masterpiece, and when the inevitable usually find some similarities in to how people react in MySpace friend request came, had the most ourselves, or an ideology that we can certain situations. relate to. And the little self-indulgent obscure track loaded on his page....” part that’s in all of us will always be Directly related to interested in something that we feel correctly describes our Sociology and Philosophy, this can include all aspects of actions and motives, often because we don’t understand or human life. It is not meant to be judgmental or notice them ourselves. condescending, simply an observation. Sex and the City fans will recognise Carrie Bradshaw as, in her own words,


A Student’s Life

New housemates, Thai brides and… MURDERDISK. Michael Ryder

over used exaggeration, but in this particular case I don’t So a few weeks have passed since I wrote my last article think any other expression could be closer to the truth. and quite a lot has happened in Bellclose Road that is worthy of a report. First of all, I need to mention our new Apparently, her name is Ju, she’s from Thailand, and Tom met her on the internet. Barely believable as this is, housemate Barry. He arrived a forlorn figure on our doorstep a couple of weeks ago with just a guitar, and a tin apparently he’s paid for her visa and everything and will be collecting her from the airport on Saturday. Rather of ‘Barry’s tea’ to his name, and in the few weeks he has been with us has become a firm fixture on the sofa in front worrying if you ask me, especially if you consider Tom’s tendency to have a sudden loss of blood to the brain of the television, regularly sitting for six hour rugby whenever anything remotely female is concerned. sessions with Tom who is at last happy to have at long last Considering my housemate’s typical idiotic behaviour and found a friend. offensive alpha-male attitude whenever women are present Quite an interesting addition to the Bellclose Road dynamic you might think, this tea-drinking, Guinness in Bellclose Road I fear I shall be spending the next week locked in my room wondering what I did to deserve this swigging, rugby loving post grad from foreign lands. Well cruel, cruel fate. you’d think “..naturally the two of them have been talking It’s not all bad however. that in Irish accents for nearly two weeks now Though Tom and I have certainly had our wouldn’t thinking that perhaps the joke is still funny...” ups and downs at Bellclose Road recently, you? one big positive from the past few weeks has Unfortunately Barry suffers from something of an been the invention of the game we have all lovingly come affliction- a curse if you will- that has caused me no end of to call Murderdisk©. Though it started off as just a very grief these past few weeks. What is that curse I hear you dangerous game of throwing a nylon-and-wire Frisbee at ask? I can’t hold it back from you any longer my friends. I might as well just tell you all straight away and get the pain each other indoors to see who could cause the most damage to household items and in many instances, each out of the way now… other, the game has now come to take on something of a Barry is Irish. Now on meeting him most people wouldn’t think gladiatorial edge. We now have rules (or as Tom will have twice about the fact Barry comes from Ireland, other than them called, ‘laws’) setting out player positions, pointscoring methods and bonuses which include hitting David’s ask the stereotypical questions: ‘Do you like Guinness?’ girlfriend Amy, or just David in general really with bonuses ‘Do you like Rugby?’ and ‘Have you ever considered for head shots or catching spectators unawares. Obviously joining a boy-band?’ when we hit David while he is watching the television it’s The problem is of course that Dave and Tom have taken just an ‘accident’. We can’t the whole ‘embracing other “....such is our level of accuracy with the help it he sometimes just cultures’ thing to a whole Murderdisk© now both Tom and I can pretty gets in the way! I say that of new level. According to my safely call ourselves ‘Frisbee Assassins’ course, but such is our level housemates, the fact Barry is when it comes to our sudden strikes that of accuracy with the from Ireland is of course his come from nowhere....” Murderdisk© now both sole defining feature, and Tom and I can pretty safely naturally the two of them call ourselves ‘Frisbee Assassins’ when it comes to our have been talking in Irish accents for nearly two weeks now sudden strikes that come from nowhere and typically hit thinking that perhaps the joke is still funny and that yes, our housemates on the side of the head when they’re busy Barry appreciates the small taste of home. Personally, I’m cooking. Given the strength and sheer amount of not buying it and if I’m honest with you now reader, the Irish accents are wearing a bit thin. If I hear another Mrs. profanities that issued forth from the Irishman’s mouth Doyle impression or if I hear Tom or Dave say ‘You fekkin yesterday when Tom hit him I don’t think Barry really appreciates Murderdisk© just yet, but don’t worry, he will: egit!’ once more I may well have to take matters into my - he doesn’t have a choice! own hands. The results could be very messy indeed for all parties concerned.


With the somewhat multi-cultural theme to this issue’s article, I feel it somewhat appropriate to now turn my attentions to the expected second addition to our house over the next week or so. You may think use of the words ‘Thai Bride’ in the title to this piece is something of an

Murray can’t have been too disappointed – he still left with a cheque for one million dollars…

Le Sport Ben Vallely

lower than they should have. A factor they claim has a £500,000 price tag. Where will this all end I wonder?

Toon Turmoil

A long way away, in the deep dark North-East, a band of loyal followers have lost their West Ham United’s legal troubles show little sign Messiah and their way. Since of dwindling quickly. They are currently tackling a multiKevin Keegan left Newcastle million pound damages claim from Sheffield United over United after deciding that he their controversial relegation from the Premier League. could no longer work under Sheffield claim that pocket-sized Argentinean meddling owner Mike Ashley, the striker Carlos Tevez was instrumental in their demise from portly chairman has ensured that the Premier League as he scored against current club Newcastle United has retained its Manchester United on the last day of the status as the most tabloidseason, clinching the Hammer’s safety and “...With the ADUG holding 10 times friendly club in England. hurtling Soppy Sheffield to the realms of more money than Chelsea, it looks as Fresh off the back of the though City will be doing anything to offering star players (such get their first Premier League title...” as Michael Owen) to rival Premier League clubs Championship. (against the manager’s will), he sold fan-favourite James Tevez’s signing broke FA Milner just before the transfer deadline. This was all hard rules on third-party ownership enough for ‘King Kev’ to deal with, without the man Ashley due to him selling part of put in place to oversee transfer activity, Dennis Wise. His himself to his agent, although purchase of two players Keegan didn’t particularly want and West Ham were fined, a few this was the last straw for the popular manager and he left the football clubs refuse to see this club despite a promising start. It has now been 5 losses in a as comeuppance. Both Fulham and Wigan row for ‘the Toon’ and after the appointment of 61 year-old ex-Wimbledon manager Joe Kinnear (pictured) as Keegan’s also claim they are entitled to replacement, the city is in uproar. It is unclear who they hate compensation, in light of a FA more – Wise or Ashley, but it is certain that both are ‘persona ruling that Tevez was worth at non-gratis’ in the Toon. least three points to West Ham

West Hammered!

in the season, this has seemingly launched a free-for-all; both teams alleging Tevez’s goal caused them to finish one place


Jim Furyk’s par putt at the 17th was conceded by Miguel Ángel Jiménez to provide the 14 ½ points needed for the victory, and the United States went on to defeat Europe, 16 ½ to 11 ½, to return the Ryder Cup to America’s hands for the first time since 1999.

US Open Tennis Men’s Singles Final The US Open Tennis Men’s Singles tournament saw Andy Murray reach his first ever Grand Slam final, having overcome 2008 Wimbledon champion Rafael Nadal in an epic, rain-delayed match of four sets. The Brit is no stranger to success at Flushing Meadows, having won the junior title It was on the 17th green at the Valhalla Golf Club there in 2004. However, with a back-on-form Roger Federer in Louisville KY, on Sunday, where the United States team to contend with in the final, victory was to be far from easy. won the Ryder Cup and closed the widest margin of victory In fact, it proved to be elusive, with since 1981. the imperial Swiss ace beating Murray Led by the Cup rookies Anthony “...Murray gave it his all, as ever, but in less than two hours in straight sets, even the tenacious Scot wasn’t going Kim, 23; Hunter Mahan, 26; to stop Federer romping to his fifth and seizing his thirteenth Grand Slam Boo Weekley, 35 and J.B. title in the process. Murray gave it his successive US Open..” Holmes, 26, who combined for all, as ever, but even the tenacious eleven of the team’s points, the Scot wasn’t going to stop Federer romping to his fifth United States team never stopped soldiering on against the successive US Open. Still, Murray can’t have been too Europeans. At the same time, the European Ryder Cup disappointed – he still left with a cheque for one million stalwarts Padraig Harrington, Sergio García and Lee dollars… Westwood failed to win a match.

Defeated we stand - United they strut.

Manchester City Sale Ollie Willis

So summer is over and the excitement and terror of the transfer window has come to an end. Berbatov and Robinho are now both playing in Manchester, however, not for the same team. As unlikely as it sounded when it was confirmed on Sky Sports News on 1st September, Manchester City did in fact hi-jack the expected bid of Chelsea for Real Madrid’s Robinho, spending a British record fee of £32.5million. They almost had Berbatov from under the noses of their city rivals, but he could not be prised away from his ‘dream move’ to Old Trafford. So where has the money come from? The Abu Dhabi United Group is the answer to both the question and the prayers of Manchester City, for competing against their Red rivals. With the ADUG holding 10 times more money than Chelsea, it looks as though City will be doing anything to get their first Premier League title, and prove that they are more than the new Chelsea.


Lewis Hamilton Penalty For Ok. I’m probably one of very few Englishmen who don’t work for Ferrari that think that Mr. Hamilton deserved the 25 second time penalty that he sustained at the Belgian Grand Prix this year. I speak and write as a person who was lucky enough to actually be stood at the Bus Stop Chicane for the duration of the day, from the GP2 Sprint Race at 9.30 BST through to the end of the Grand Prix at about 14.45 BST and so I feel I can comment on what was a blatant breach of the Sporting Regulations and Code due to the incident happening right in front of my vantage point. The FiA Sporting Regulations state that if a driver gains an unfair advantage by cutting a corner, then they are to receive a Drive through penalty. However, article 16.3 of these Regulations states that: The stewards may impose any one of three penalties on any driver involved in an Incident: a) A drive-through penalty. The driver must enter the pit lane and re-join the race without stopping; b) A ten second time penalty. The driver must enter the pit lane, stop at his pit for at least ten seconds and then re-join the race. c) A drop of ten grid positions at the driver’s next Event. However, should either of the penalties under a) and b) above be imposed during the last five laps, or after the end of a race, 25 seconds will be added to the elapsed race time of the driver concerned. Mr. Hamilton gained an advantage by cutting the chicane. A penalty will be forfeited if the advantage is given back immediately. This Lewis appeared to do and I will not dispute that. McLaren’s basis for appeal of the decision was that Lewis had lifted off the Go-pedal and was 6kph slower when crossing the start/finish line. However, the boy is driving a 200mph machine, and as a result, 6kph is nothing, especially if you are going to cut straight back into the slipstream of the car in front and gain your advantage straight back again. Felipe Massa, who ended up being credited with the win, when questioned on the incident glossed over it to an extent, not wanting to get involved in the politics, but said that if you follow a car through that chicane properly, then it is impossible to pass at La Source (the first corner of the lap), due to you losing approximately five to ten metres on the car in front of you, in acceleration, out of the chicane. This is true and anybody watching the entire race will have seen this happen time and time again throughout the field. Lewis deserved the ensuing penalty, for nothing other than what was a mistake. It was inexperience in these sorts of

situations that led to a mistake. He has only been driving Formula One cars in competition for a year and a half ! A lot of people forget that he is in fact still learning. He obviously had the faster car and the superior grip in the slimy, wet conditions, but he also had two more laps to pass Kimi on track, the most obvious of places being into the top chicane after Eau Rouge. He most certainly didn’t need to pass that early. The penalty is justified and we can rest assured, that Lewis won’t make this mistake again, especially not at such a crucial stage in a Race for the World Championship title…

Against Ok first off, it was a stunning GP, a great spectacle and a stunning battle. The last few laps are what every petrol-head and every F1 fan wants in a race. The shear thrill of “any one of four can win it, who has the biggest balls?”, and without a doubt, that man with the cajones is Hamilton. He did all the work, kept it on the road when no other man could and won…but... In the incident, Hamilton went in a bit hot and Raikkonen closed the door, as is allowed. This meant that Lewis had to dive off, sharpish, or crash. He chose to run in the only safe place available, the inside of the corner, the only tarmac not filled by Ferrari that was open to him. So he has to concede the place, he does. Mclaren have him tracked at 6kph slower than Kimi as they cross the line, and he is still off the fast pedal. So halfway down the straight, Lewis is coasting, and then he ducks inside and takes the spot legit, getting a nudge from Kimi for good measure. Now I’m not going to beat up the FIA/politics/ Ferrari route. That’s muddy water, I am though, going to say that this is exactly what the sport doesn’t need! A thrilling race which was ruined by meddling stewards two hours later. Mclaren told him to back off, he did, he went behind, he tried again a corner later, job done. Now the FIA have clarified, like the blind man trying to find the exit, and said that in this instance, you can’t retake until AFTER the next corner…excuse me? In Monza, you had drivers tip-toeing around, sliding off in the conditions, only to rejoin the track and then spend half a lap mincing around trying to differentiate whether a kink was a corner or not. Just let them bloody race! Yes, he got an advantage from the chicane, but no, he should not have been penalised, as he administered the punishment on track, as all good drivers do.

To get involved in Le Nurb get in touch with Ben Moxey, the editor at You can find out more about us online at This issue will be available online from 30th October 2008 for your viewing pleasure.


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