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LE NURB 21 September 2008



This months burning question, what is your favourite summer tune?

A word from Ben Moxey, Union of Brunel Students Media Officer and editor extraordinaire!


Well, here goes for another year at Brunel. And this year will be a good ‘un! Before you is the Freshers edition of Le Nurb, crafted by experienced (and old!) hands. We hope you enjoy! In here is stock of information useful to Freshers (p.4), a word from your President (p.7) and round up of all the sports that took place this summer (p.15-16). The only thing missing is what I like to call ‘The 5 questions’: “What’s your name, where are you from, what are you studying, what halls are you in and what was “...We need writers, editors, your name again?, I forgot”. Use these wisely and you can start off layout designers, photographers many a friendship, I’m sure. and the most important thing is Apart from that, I’m not fully sure what to write in here (being my we need feedback. Feedback first Le Nurb..). But one thing I will from you, the Brunel public....” say is that we need new students constantly here at Le Nurb (and our sister, the radio station, URB). We need writers, editors, layout designers, photographers and the most important thing is we need feedback. Feedback from you, the Brunel public. So please, drop me a line, or accost me in Freshers week.

Ben Moxey ‘(Mucho Mambo)Sway’ by Shaft

Designer: Sarah Francis ‘Boys of Summer’ by Don Henley

News Writer: Mustafa Kaiser 'Toca's Miracle' by- Fragma

Sports Writer: Ben Vallely ‘Hysteria’ by Muse

Feature Writers: Donna Law ‘All Summer Long’ by Kid Rock Mike Ryder 'Summer Song' by Joe Satriani Sam Middlewood 'Island in the Sun’ by Weezer

Roving President: Jay Patel ‘Rise Up’ by Yves Larock

Music Reviewer: Laura Watts ‘Pjanoo’ by Eric Prydz

Film Reviewer: Alex Sergeant ‘In the Summertime’ by Mungo Jerry

If you’d like your name to appear here, get in touch with the editor at

Contents Le News


Hellboy 2

Mustafa Kaiser

Alex Sergeant

Welcome to Brunel

A Student’s Life p.4

Donna Law

A Presidential Hello



Michael Ryder

What’s on in Freshers Week? p.13 p.7

Union of Brunel Students

Jay Patel

Snow Club Get Involved



Sam Middlewood

Ben Moxey

Get Down Convention

Le Sport p.9

Laura Watts

You don’t mess with the Zohan p.10 Alex Sergeant


Ben Vallely


Le News

Heathrow’s Terminal 5…and then the swift closing. Within 2 weeks of being open, over 500 flights were cancelled and 28,000 bags had flown solo. Many domestic and short-haul flights were affected By Mustafa Kaiser with bags having to be sent to Italy for re-sorting. Other issues included a disabled “...there are teething issues which can passenger, be fixed with a finger of brandy; and Every four years we see something new at the Olympics and being stuck there are teething issues where all of this year was no different. Beijing hosted a remarkable event on the plane you teeth fall out, get sent to Italy by and a stunning opening ceremony. for an hour mistake and then your dentist refuses This was followed by games, in which new records to find out whose mouth they are now were set. Usain Bolt of Jamaica broke and then in...” getting left 3 world records in 3 races winning 3 in the road gold medals (they say it’s a magic outside, as he was unable to get up the high kerbs and into number…) becoming the star of the the building without assistance. 2008 Beijing Olympics. Bolt's BA’s chief exec, Willie Walsh, put this down to ‘staff 9.69 seconds in the 100 metres, 19.30 s in the 200 metres and 37.10 s familiarisation’ and ‘teething issues’. Now, frankly Mr Walsh, in the 4x100 metres were recorded as there are teething issues, like the kind you have as a toddler, which can be fixed with a finger of brandy (didn’t everyone the fastest ever legal times. This officially makes him the fastest man in have that?); and there are the teething issues where all of you teeth fall out, get sent to Italy by mistake and then your the world. dentist refuses to compensate you or find out whose mouth China grabbed 51 gold, 21 silver and 28 bronze they are now in. Which one is this then? medals adding up to a total of 100 medals. The United States, Russia and Great Britain following closely behind. In the closing ceremony, the Olympic flag was handed to London mayor Boris Johnson, with organisers briefly showcasing the 2012 Games. In the closing ceremony In Mt Isa, Australia, the town mayor has demanded that Leona Lewis and Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin emerged from more ugly women move to the town, due to the alarming rate the top of a Routemaster, as you do, and performed Led of dateless men. He told a local newspaper: "May I suggest if Zeppelin’s ‘Whole lotta love’ while David Beckham kicked off there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where the 2012 countdown there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask “...our medal haul could well break them to proceed to Mount Isa." (quite literally) by booting into the top 3 for the first time in a ball at the bus, sending Obviously, this upset the local female population, decades. And now we have home 91,000 fans wild in the who demanded an apology and forced him to advantage…” Bird's Nest. back-pedal furiously. “I said beauty-disadvantaged, With new sports beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Beauty can be being added to the Team GB line-up, most notably Football a good set of teeth, beauty is nice wavy hair. Beauty can be (maybe..), our medal haul could well break into the top 3 for blue eyes or green eyes” No word as yet from the Beautiful the first time in decades. And now we have home Alliance of Brown Eyes, but press expect BABE to say advantage…. nothing and look pretty.

The Olympics

Blimey! That’s a Sheila?!

Terminal Destination

Who is this Icarus?

The 27th of March was due to be a celebatory time for BA and BAA, as the culmination of 7 years of building, 26 years of planning and £4.3bn spent saw the official opening of

A UK-built solar-powered plane has set an unofficial world endurance record for a flight by an unmanned aircraft.

Abstinence-only sex education? American Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has hit the headlines with what could arguably be called the most ironic story of the year - her 17 year old unmarried daughter is pregnant. Ms. Palin is a staunch opposer of comprehensive sex education, favouring instead the “abstinence only” approach, which teaches saying no, and doesn’t include information on contraceptives. Ironic, really, as her daughter’s experience proves it doesn’t work...!


The Zephyr-6, as it is known, kept flying for more than three days, running through the night on batteries it had recharged in sunlight. The flight was a demonstration for the US military, which is looking for new types of technology to support its troops on the ground. The Zephyr flew non-stop for 82 hours, 37 minutes. This amazing, new technology is primarily designed to aid the military in spy work, but makers claim some commercial roles may be available in the future. This all sounds great, solar powered flight, soaring through the sky, emitting no harmful toxins or CO2s, free with the birds and no morality issues of melting ice caps. That said it is SOLAR POWERED. I cant imagine an airline willing to buy it up, for fear of a grounded fleet, due to ‘heavy dimness’. Only Air Jamaica. Or possible Virgin will hook up the light gleaming from Branson’s massive smile….

Ex-Box While the Americans are gearing up to register for the upcoming presidential elections using their X-Box 360’s, the Japanese have completely run out of them. Microsoft faced one of the biggest challenges in Western games console marketing, officially reporting complete stock sell-out of machines in Japan, considered the home of games consoles. Microsoft showed its surprise in an official statement, saying (translated): "Our own sales targets have been exceeded by the actual customer sales. We deeply apologise for any inconvenience to our customers, retailers and business partners." Microsoft meanwhile claim their ‘CrystalBall 2.0’ contains a few bugs…

Something for the weekend, sir? Dubai is the hottest thing around right now and we all know it.

Along with the biggest collection of man-made islands and the stunning Palm Hotel, it is home to the world’s first seven star hotel the Burj (Achieved by having a stretch of motorway from the airport to the hotel, for the use of guests only!) and, now, has the world’s first underwater hotel underconstruction called the Hydropolis. The Hydropolis is one of the largest construction projects in the world covering an area of 260 hectares, about the size of London's Hyde Park, and will cost an estimated £300 million. It is self-acclaimed to be a 10-star hotel (no idea how they get the motorway to go underwater..) and has 220 suites. The hotel will be ready by 2009. It has been designed by Joachim Hauser of Germany. All the hotel parts are made in Germany and are being assembled in Dubai. The expected room prices will vary from £ 250 to £ 3500 per night.

at the figures for the last 10 years the number of knife victims has remained relatively stable - although there have I thought I’d take a second in this blurb of news to be serious. As the instances of been spikes - at 200 to 220 a year. But there is some evidence the demographic knife crime rise in London, the latest child (that’s right, child) has been stabbed has changed. The average age of homicide victims overall has been going to death by youth, say Met Police. Shaquille Smith, 14, has joined down, with younger and younger victims.” the ranks of Londoners killed on the For whatever reason that young streets of the capital. The numbers now people carry knives, for respect, for pride, reach into the 100s for this year alone. for looking cool; none are a good enough The Government and, the Home reason to explain to Shaquille’s parents. Secretary, Jacqui Smith will point to As they come to terms with the loss of figures claiming that violent crime has their daughter, London’s population must decreased by 41% over the last 10 years steel themselves for increased vigilance. If and that knife crime only makes up 8% you see anything suspicious, even if it of the remaining crimes…..but the figures don’t include under 16s, and that ‘doesn’t concern you’, I implore you to ring the Met Police or Crimestoppers is where the damage is being done. (completely anonymous – 0800555111). Richard Garside, the director of the For more info, visit Centre of Crime and Justice Studies at Kings College London, said: "If you look

How Many?

NEWSFLASHES: • The fossilised skull of an "extremely rare" steppe mammoth has been discovered in southern France. • A large slice of cake made for the wedding of Lady Diana Spencer and Prince Charles has been sold at auction. • Tesco is to change the wording of signs on its fast-track checkouts to avoid any linguistic dispute. “10 Items or less” will become “Up to 10 items” to avoid the less/fewer debate. • Census data reveals that some 100,000 young men have left Australia, leading to a serious "mandrought".


Brunel University is (according to the University) a “stone’s throw” away from central London. Actually it’s several hundred of your average “stone’s throws” but we’ll let that slide.... maybe.

Welcome to Brunel By Donna Law

Congratulations, your name, where are you from, what you’ve made it! are you studying, and what halls are You’ve found the you in?” Half of the people you meet right halls of in Freshers Week you will never bump residence, into again, but equally many a firm inevitably waded friendship has been forged over a through the takeaway pitcher of Snakebite. menus already piling up at your flat door (and if you haven’t yet, you will), Of course, a little variety never hurts, and met the ever-enthusiastic, eagerso there is also the Hub bar to check to-help crew in brightly coloured tout, upstairs in the Union building – a shirts. These are your ‘contacts’, and slightly more laid-back atmosphere, your best friends for Freshers Week, but equally as enjoyable. Both places ready to show you what Brunel has to serve food if you can’t bear the offer. thought of cooking for yourself just yet, as well as the ‘More’ refectory and So, what is there? I highly Café “...many a firm friendship has recommend Loco’s as Rococo, been forged over a pitcher of giving your first port of call, your Union bar, and host Snakebite...” you to many a good social ample event. Here you will no doubt discover choice of somewhere to grab a bite on the Brunel’s songs and halls chants led campus. For the sporting among you, by, yes them again, your contacts. Bar Zest is upstairs in the sports Slightly inebriated singing aside, this is centre, giving you the perfect place to one of the easiest places to meet many relax after a game with friends or a of your fellow freshers, and ask and be gym session, and the Pavilion bar, by asked the essential questions: “What’s the sports pitches, offers the


opportunity to unwind after Wednesday matches. In terms of nightlife, Brunel has its very own nightclub on campus, The Academy. More fondly referred to as “The Academy of Dreams” or “Accaders” it offers a whole variety of music nights to suit everyone’s tastes, as well as comedy nights, live football on the big screen and other events besides. Don’t forget to buy your tickets early to avoid disappointment, although there are more available on the door. At the end of the night, if you’re feeling peckish, you can always take advantage of Pronto, our fast food outlet on campus. For an alternative venue, check out the Liquid & Envy nightclub in town. Wednesdays is the student night to be at, with the new Pub 2 Club venture: drinks in Loco’s, followed by GET LOST@Liquid – (friendlier than it sounds..) the all new student event being launched this academic year. The walk home at the end of the night will no doubt see many of you

attempting to climb ‘the Embankment’ beneath the roundabout leading into town, cos you just have to.

food and drink you can’t go wrong with The Good Yarn, the local Wetherspoons, or the Metropolitan Bar. For those of you looking for live music, the Crown and Whilst there are two shops on Treaty at the far end of town is the place campus – the campus store and to be. For the best Sunday roast, I highly Costcutter – for you to buy any essentials, recommend the Load of Hay, situated or just a snack between lectures, just off of Cleveland Road at the front of inevitably you will have to venture into campus. Of course none of them are as Uxbridge town at some point. Just a 15 good as the union bars…ahem. minute walk, or a short bus ride from either side of campus, Uxbridge town If it’s fitness you’re after, Brunel centre has plenty to offer. With two has plenty of sports facilities available for shopping centres, numerous pubs, coffee all to use – both socially and shops, restaurants, a library, an Odeon competitively – as well as Fitness First cinema, a snooker club, a Tesco Metro, a and Virgin Active in town. Sainsbury’s and various other shops Unfortunately, there is no swimming beside, you won’t be short of things to pool at Brunel, but there are local pools do. Of course, if that’s not enough for just a bus ride away from campus with you, Uxbridge is student served by both the memberships “...eventually the sight of Metropolitan and available. However, teenage mutant ninja turtles Piccadilly London there is a new and other childhood heroes Underground lines, leisure centre wandering through campus at leaving you just an development taking night won’t cause you to even hour from central place in Uxbridge, bat an eyelid!” London. Don’t with an Olympicforget to top up your Oystercard on sized swimming pool set to be campus for cheaper fares and, if you’re completed in 2009. going for a night out, don’t forget that the N207 night bus service takes you back to Campus life is a vibrant one, campus – provided you can find the right although I’m sure you’ll soon become bus stop first! Alternatively for travel, the accustomed to its oddities; eventually nearest rail station is West Drayton, just a the sight of teenage mutant ninja turtles short bus ride from campus. and other childhood heroes wandering through campus at night won’t cause If you need somewhere to relax you to even bat an eyelid! For some, in town with new friends, there are, as Brunel is just a place to earn a top mentioned before, numerous pubs to degree, for others it’s a way of life. choose from. It’d be pointless to mention Whichever it is to you, this is your them all here, but for reasonably priced Freshers week to enjoy. Regardless of

whether you’re an undergraduate or postgraduate, home student or international, staying locally or commuting, there is something for everyone to get involved with. Don’t forget Thursday is when Freshers Fayre takes place, so you can join up to your favourite sports and societies, or even take up something new! Stay safe, have fun, and welcome to Brunel!


• • • • • • • • • • 5

Shop in Sports Soccer's 'Closing Down' sale (3 years and counting) Order anything from Yumchi's Chinese takeaway Go to the unsigned bands night at the Crown and Treaty on a Thursday night Ride the N207 (extra points for going AWAY from Uxbridge first time) Stand outside, with a cup of tea, watching security turn off the Fire Alarm, for the 3rd time that night Walk back from town with EXACTLY three more Tesco bags than you can carry Go to lectures in your PJs and slippers Run for the tube train, only to then sit there for 20 minutes, out of breath and panting, before the doors close Run up the Embankment outside Liquid, in the Subway. Use the charity shops in town to buy fancy dress items for the Monday night, and feel like you've done something good, even though that hat was only 50p.


This year’s Exec from left to right: Raj (VP Services & Marketing); Teresa (Equality & Diversity); Jay (President); Ben (Media); Simi (Sports); Dawn (Volunteering); Nat (VP Education & Welfare) and Razwan (Campaigns). Missing is Nick Ince (VP Student Activities) but we’ll let him have his very own picture in the next issue!

A Presidential Hello By Jay Patel

Right! I have a full change, and now I embark on a year By Christmas 2004, I had page within which long goodbye to an experience which decided to go on a one man mission to I have been asked has changed me forever. When I first make the most of my university to write an article. got to Brunel, I was welcomed by the experience and to change, for the Of sorts. About concrete jungle of Isambard (as you better, the experiences of my fellow something…. Of will soon notice if you haven’t already, students. The union was my passage, which I am unsure. But here goes! it is now amazing) and I recall but the students were, and remain, the I have promised myself that thinking this is going to be tough! I key. I had to go out and find what I over the course of this year, I will try spent the first few months looking for was looking for and break the cliques and stay away from a way which existed in the union. If you ranting and raving in the out. I don’t drink, play sport or like “...Change is difficult to deal union paper, but as it is missed nightclubs, this does not mean you with; some of you will thrive, the first edition, it would home, I should be excluded from being able to some of you will struggle, but be criminal of me not to. missed have a good time! To this end, I either way you WILL be ok.” So where shall I start? my believe the union has changed The Olympics. As I sit friends substantially over the past few years here writing, we have currently won and I had made no new ones and I and so it should have. Coming here is 17 Gold medals and old Brunel boy was skint. Those were different times a challenging experience. The student Phillips has yet to jump, Usain has and this was, indeed, a very different community here is diverse, profoundly destroyed opposition and annoyed the place. Brunel gave me a challenge, cultural and for many will be an head of the IOC because he is too thus in turn, it gave me a purpose. I experience which at first is incredibly good; and poor old Paula is still had always envisioned being at foreign to them. I urge you not to reeling. Arsenal have surprised me by university a challenge, but also the worry if you are not having as much signing a United player and good old making of me as a man (GRR!). I had fun as you initially thought you would. Gordon is taking a break and been only been 18 for three weeks Change is difficult to deal with; some preparing for another year of bashing when I turned up; young, naïve and of you will thrive, some of you will in the houses of Westminster. ignorant to the world. I now start my struggle, but either way you WILL be Only one year ago, I was last year at the tender age of 22, (yes I ok. sitting here writing an article for Le look older, leave the beard alone!) So, to move away from a blog Nurb, having only been president for a having graduated, type article, I couple of months and went about been president for “...Last years theme was to shall finish by strewing and straining the importance two years and badger you to get involved and saying, of ‘Getting Involved’ in the many having met some conform. This year I urge you to welcome to all areas of union life which are open to of the most be yourselves!” newbie’s, you. This year, I have decided on a eclectic, awesome welcome back different tact. I am now going into my and odd people I am ever likely to to all you old guard and I urge you to fifth and final year at Brunel, and only meet. help make this one of the best years recently became very aware that this is Last years theme was to badger you to ever. If you want to know how you the same time period as secondary get involved and conform. This year I can help, come and see me and we school, which seemed like forever. I urge you to be yourselves! can have a good old chin wag. Much have seen this place evolve and love my fellow Brunelians!


One of the most fun ways to get involved in the Union is through RAG. This could involve anything from racing rubber ducks to skydiving!

Get Involved By Ben Moxey

And so like the motto: ‘Get Involved’. I’ve heard it so banners, shouting, singing and meddling editor I much I’m thinking of tattooing it generally badgering people in the am, I thought I’d somewhere on my body….or naming name of democracy, is one that do an article! First, my first child after it. everyone should ‘GI’ with. welcome to So with the elections, it was a Because your union is shaped Brunel, I know we chance to Get Involved (again) with by you. That’s the simple fact. Too are all saying it in the union, the often in this magazine, but seriously I mean it, heart and soul of “....ever since I arrived at uni, that the welcome! the uni, at a level has been the motto: ‘Get Involved’. elections I Now that’s over with, I’d like to take a I can understand. I’ve heard it so much I’m thinking of asked the tattooing it somewhere on my ever-tiring few minutes of your undoubtedly busy I’m not an day to be a narcissistic arse and just fill athlete, so sports body….or naming my first child question space talking about me (and a little bit were out. I’m not after it...” “Hey about the future). charitable (its not guys, you Born in Scotland in the that I don’t care, its just I’m a lazy, voting today?” only to be told “No”, middle of the 80’s, I started at Brunel lazy git), so that’s out and what with a or in one case “Eff off ”. Many people in 2005, living in the mighty show on the union radio station, also say “What’s the point? It won’t Isambard. Sadly, as I never paid URB, so I was keen to Get Involved make any difference”. This last attention/was too drunk at college, I (which will hence forth be written as statement is criminal for anyone to say, tanked my A Levels and ended up GI) in that I could stabilise and at any stage in life. Everything you do, doing Foundation of Engineering. improve it. can make a difference, for example if Which I am now delighted that I did I always enjoy the elections at you are sitting reading this in the bar because it was immense fun, a great Brunel, the campus seems to buzz and or a crowded area, shout something. introduction to a brilliant course and a take on a massive energy. Whether it Anything. And watch people looking bit easy, which is cushty with me. was campaigning for Raj in my first around. You did that! Look at the Having done that I moved to real year…on St Paddys Day….with far difference. The whole point of the Engineering and too much alcohol; Union officers is to shout and scream “...The whole point of the then I won the or campaigning for and cause a fuss on your behalf. If you Union officers is to shout and election for Media Officer, this have an issue, come and see someone, scream and cause a fuss on Media Officer year coming down we are here for you in any capacity! your behalf...” last Feb, and to a close result for here I am. me and even closer results for the Because after all, it’s your union One of the reasons I ran for other guys, the immense fun of and you chose us to represent Media Officer was that I love to get grouping together out front of the you. So use us! involved. Seriously; ever since I union, all of us in various printed/ arrived at uni, that has been the sprayed/painted t-shirts, holding


Get Down Convention Music Review By Laura Watts

“Ballot Boxes Only” reads the tea-leafed sign. Have I come to “Emergenza final was a real eye opener for us” says Ste, “it the right place, I ask myself ? I’m here to meet two of the made us realize we have come a long way in a short space of founding members from five piece indie pop band, Get Down time, but the competition out there is amazing; we still have a Convention. I expected groupies, partying and plenty of booze long way to go.” from this rendezvous; instead I’ve got pet ducks, a televised Modesty is obviously one of Ste’s many qualities; the band game of footie and warm apple pie, hardly my idea of rock seems to be made up of five serious musicians who have the and roll! Are these guys more PCSOs of pop than Kings of fortune of being genuinely nice. Walter, the promoter of Rock? There’s only one way to find out… Emergenza seems to agree, he recently described them to me As I continue through the student home of bassist Ste and as “the nice guys in rock n roll.” They obviously enjoy playing band guitarist Zane, I find a seat in their kitchen/TV/dining together and making music, but, to them, dedication is vital room and I sit down, football acts as background noise, and no matter how many times they practice, they are never accompanying the smell of ASDA’s frozen apple pie that Zane satisfied. As if uni commitments were not demanding enough, has just put in the oven and around me there is a scattering of Zane also works as a music producer; working with the likes of musical instruments. I get the idea this is no normal interview Sincere, Scorcher, Ms Dynamite and *Jelluzz*; all big names set-up Instead of sitting down and chatting, Ste talks to me on the UK urban scene, which is where his roots lie. while busying himself making chocolate rice krispie cakes, and With musical roots in grime, hip hop and electro, Zane seems my questions seem to act as an odd element to the band, but digging time filler for Zane; as he deeper into their history and characters, “...I expected groupies, partying and constantly checks the oven for it is clear to see that the band has a plenty of booze from this rendezvous; his apple pie to be done. This range of influences and interests. instead I’ve got pet ducks, a televised doesn’t help to convince me of game of footie and warm apple pie...” Perhaps this is what makes their music so their musical prowess and with hard to define. Asking them what genre Ste’s promises that the next they would say it falls into and Zane tells time we do this, it will be in a fancy London hotel, only comes me “Indie pop with electro cabaret.” Now, I regard my my intrigue; exactly how do they plan on getting there? musical knowledge as pretty strong and eclectic, but even this Their biggest achievement so far is reaching the final of the is a new one on me, if you are finding it hard to imagine, they UK heat of Sony/BMG sponsored international music are often likened to the Hoosiers and Bloc Party, though I competition, Emergenza, which was held at ULU in June of recommend catching one of their gigs as the best way to this year. A huge feat achieved by fending off strong understand their music, and while we are on the subject of competition from hundreds of bands throughout the UK in 3 gigs I must bring up ‘The Peacock Dance.’ grueling rounds, to play at the ‘amazing’ ULU. However, they GDCs loyal troop of fans, created the now famous dance are quick to add, that while the venue was great, playing on moves, which accompanies what can only be described as a their home boards at Brunel is always special, and in those musical anthem ‘Captain Peacock;’ the bands infectious single. cases it’s all about the audience response, they are clearly Having been to a couple of GDC gigs myself, I’ve seen first looking forward to this year and the loyal student fans of hand, how their music gets everyone going and how many join Brunel returning, so that everyone can enjoy more gigs. in with the Peacock Dance; Indie’s answer to Souljaboy.


With more gigs at Brunel and around the UK planned for the coming year, GDC has a lot to look forward to; and it doesn’t end there! The guys have recently recorded in a multi-million pound, 1st class, London studio, used by the likes of Holloways, Winehouse, and Kate Nash to name but a few, after successfully recording several tracks and having CDs made. On that note, my interview with two fifths of musical maestros Get Down Convention comes to an end. They may not be in the same league as ‘Rockstars’ like Axl Rose or Keith Richards; their musical ability permits them to be, but their grounded and loveable personalities put them in a

league of their own, no arrogant behavior or selfish band mates, for these guys its all about the music and how refreshing that is. I’m shown to the front door and thanked for my time, I even get a rice krispie cake (very yummy I must say) Ste waves me off and I hurry to my car…I’m off to practice my Peacock! Check out Get Down Convention on the; getdownconvention or by typing ‘Get Down Convention’ into Facebook.

You don’t mess with the Zohan Film Review By Alex Sergeant

party-pooper, but I struggle to see why that’s a good thing. Have I missed a meeting or something? When was it Don’t get me wrong, being a student decided that a 42 year-old man critic is brilliant. You get to watch lots attracting beautiful women in an eerily of films, often for free, and you get to Stepford-like way, by being disgusting, force your opinion on anyone was funny? When was it who cares to read it. “...the message of the film seems to be that decided a comedy pitched to However, sometimes it isn’t whatever your religion, whatever your be flying in the face of all it’s cracked up to be and ethnicity, everyone likes a Mariah Carey political sensitivities can be this is usually because you concert...” this bland and uninteresting? have to watch Adam Sandler The film isn’t without some films. This commercially here. I don’t watch the news as laughs, I chuckled occasionally successful comedian is the bane of our frequently as I should, but I’m fairly throughout, almost all due to the antics existence: he is unexplainably popular certain no Israeli spends their time of people other than Sandler himself. from making what summarises as a very wearing tight shorts and arse wiggling average collection of films. For every for anyone’s pleasure and I’m also Wedding Singer there is Click, a film so quite confident no Palestinian looks undeservedly sentimental that I wanted like Rob Schneider. But of course, to smack it. For every Punch Drunk that’s not the point. The film isn’t Love there is I Now Pronounce You concerned with anything happening Chuck and Larry: a nasty, hypocritical east of the Brooklyn Bridge, it’s piece of celluloid and one of the worst interested in how disgusting old films of last year. people having sex are, how funny a In his latest comedy, You good knob joke is and what a glorious Don’t Mess with the Zohan, Sandler sensation it is to break wind. At the does what we’ve all been waiting for, he finale, the message of the film seems tackles the complex political situation in to be that whatever your religion, the Middle East in a comedy about a whatever your ethnicity, everyone former Israeli hitman trying to make it likes a Mariah Carey concert. And as a hairdresser at a Palestinian saloon for a real measure of how in New York. Yep, sometimes being a conservative this film actually is, the When all is said and done, this film isn’t critic is a bit of a struggle. diva herself shows up for a cameo. terrible it’s just rather dull, thoroughly First of all, about ten minutes So what we are left with very unmemorable at ultimately not worth into the film you realise that actually its quickly is just another Adam Sandler the price of admission. How sad that concerns have absolutely nothing to do comedy and, I’m sorry if I’m being a technically it exceeded my expectations. ** 2 Stars


with anything happening on planet Earth. Maybe on some far moon of Jupiter, which incidentally appears to be where Sandler has researched his accent, there is a political climate resembling something that is presented

Hellboy 2 Film Review By Alex Sergeant

magical and original. It’s like watching a modern day Lewis Carroll, as if the writer himself were still alive to deal with No doubt as the Hollywood agents and studios. It knows summer draws to when to be stylish, when to be deep and a close, this year’s when to play for the laughs. We care selection of about the character of Hellboy, and we blockbusters will suffer when he suffers. When he is be summarised ostracised by the public or when he neatly into three struggles with his own identity – he is, words: The Dark ultimately, the demon of the apocalypse Knight. – we struggle too. That is where the Proclaimed by substance of the movie lies, and that is many critics to be the Citizen Kane of why it is so good. comic book movies and the second I should add a confession at this highest grossing film of all time, it looks point, I can’t help watching this movie set to eclipse all that have come around with the mindset of another. I still it. For my money though, which I confess haven’t quite got over seeing Pan’s isn’t a significant investment, the title of Labyrinth a few years ago. That film was best superhero of the summer goes to an absolute masterpiece, and this I must Guillermo del Toro’s admit is not. Like latest work. The sequel “...once everybody gets over Heath Ledger’s performance and his character, this to his modest 2004 hit, realises they’ve spent a lot of money on something that isn’t film feels like this film has more wit, that good, hopefully this will get the attention it deserves...” Pan’s Labyrinth more invention, more with its horns light fable is a welcome relief from the heart and a much more coherent grimy, realistic aesthetics of recent major filled down to fit in, and thus there is a substance. It is a film that truly sense of hesitancy throughout. The understands the art-house/picture-house money outings, which to me, sit rather uncomfortably when you’re essentially direction is slightly unsure of itself, the divide. You don’t need to make tone of the film juddering about something that is both, because one done telling the story of men in tights and occasionally when it really needs to be capes, kicking people. The events on well is enough. Whilst Christopher screen aren’t there to make people frown assured, meaning that some action Nolan’s work interspersed action with or think or chin-stroke, there they to sequences are not quite as spectacular as characters openly discussing the moral make you jump, laugh and reach for they could be and moments of emotional dilemmas they found themselves in, another mouthful of popcorn. And depth fall a little flat. However, and I Hellboy 2: The Golden Army tells its want this clear and on the record, it is another. politics through its visuals, through it However, this does not mean to the superhero film of the summer. It is character development and through its larger-than-life story. Ironically, for a film say that the film is without substance. Its more fun, more exciting and much, not Transformers, it has characters to much more coherent than The Dark about devils, 6ft fish and twisted interact with and a plot to get engaged Knight and once everybody gets over firestarters, it is full of heart and soul. Heath Ledger’s performance, which was with, and whilst these qualities seem Batman took two and a half hours to alright, and realises that they’ve spent a work out that sometimes it’s a bit hard to simple, they are the bread and butter of narrative cinema. Del Toro has a real lot of money on something that isn’t that be quite good when bad stuff is happening to bad people that might have understanding for his audience. His job is good, hopefully then this will get the to entertain, not preach or intellectualise. attention and make the money it been good if they hadn’t gone bad. deserves. And when that time comes, for His characters are well drawn and Hellboy 2 poses a very simple question: interesting, his situations absolutely the official record, I said it here first. **** 4 Stars


What makes a man? Is it his upbringing or his nature? For those of you unaware of the quirky, fun delight that is the original Hellboy, let me explain the key movers. Our hero is Hellboy (Ron Perlman), a devil summoned by the Nazis to destroy the world, but instead raised amongst humans and now fights to save it. He is accompanied by his fellow freaks in the Bureau of Paranormal Research, including girlfriend Liz (Selma Blair), who occasionally spontaneously combusts and best friend Abe Sabien (Doug Jones), a giant fish. In this adventure, they fight to save the world from the threat of Prince Nuada (Luke Goss), the prince of the fantasy creatures that were banished from our world long ago, who is a little pissed off. This breezy,

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Angels with Dirty Faces Nightwatch About a Boy The Science of Sleep

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Milo & Otis The Libertine Blazing Saddles The Princess Bride

The Student Paradox It’s a bit of a strange phenomenon really: students can afford copious amounts of alcohol and shelf upon shelf of DVDs and games, yet can’t afford things most sane people would refer to as being more ‘essential’.

A Student’s Life The joys of moving house By Michael Ryder

I’m a little bit worried about my Thirty pounds later, (take note my an article, has something of the housemates. friends of the ‘plus’ part in the name repressed homosexual about him. Not We’ve been living together ‘Pound Plus’: we shan’t be deceived only does he have a fixation for large for just over two weeks now and again!), and we arrive back home with fluffy pillows and incense sticks, but he already there is something rather odd an assortment of shabbily made tools, also has a wardrobe that would make about our house-sharing relationship. poor quality hooks and some very Elton John proud. Not only this but I’m not sure what Tom our other “...when Tom pops out from behind a doorway wearing his worries me more housemate, is really- the fact Tom brand new matching Superman apron and oven gloves I exactly the same! I nearly died from shock!” is way too excited was more than about having a slightly taken cheap looking washing baskets. A few aback some five minutes after having condiments cupboard, or the fact we days later and the screwdrivers have can apparently afford a 42-inch stepped beyond the threshold on widescreen television but can’t afford a worn out, all the hooks have fallen off moving in day (and, I might add, the walls and the washing baskets are dustbin. It’s a bit of a strange having signed my contract), when phenomenon really, the fact we can all looking like a very poor investment. I Tom pops out from behind a doorway as students afford copious amounts of wonder to myself then, why we wearing his brand new matching couldn’t have just gone to a proper alcohol and shelf upon shelf of DVDs Superman apron and oven gloves. I shop and bought proper tools and not tell you now reader I nearly died from and games, yet can’t afford things wasted our money instead on a most sane people would refer to as shock, and to make matters worse not novelty bathplug from Wilkinson’s being more ‘essential’. Given some only do we have one set of these when thus far all of garish and outlandishly gay items, but thought I’ve “...we can apparently afford a us have taken come to he saw fit to buy TWO sets! One set 42-inch widescreen television nothing but describe this for him, and one for Dave. Frankie showers! Please but can’t afford a dustbin....” phenomenon as Goes to Hollywood eat your heart out. note I had the student I really do wonder what I’ve let myself absolutely nothing to do with the paradox. in for… purchase of the said bathplug. I blame And here’s another example: it on Tom! only the other day we were forced to Talking about Tom, those of venture out to the ‘Pound Plus’ shop you familiar with my articles in this in West Drayton in search of tools to hallowed paper will be aware that my put together our flat pack furniture good friend Dave, the source of many and other useful household items.


Freshers Week 2008 An overview of What’s On By the Union of Brunel Students

Sunday Monday




Friday 13

Day: Arrivals // Ticket Sales // Meet your Contacts // NUS Extra Card sales Night: UBS Welcome Party @ Academy (10pm)

Day: Football Tournament @ Cemetery Pitches (2-4pm) // Poster Sale@Academy (2-5pm) // Guitar Hero heats in Crank Marquee (12 - 4pm) // Croquet (12-6pm) & Netball Shootathon (12 - 3pm) in the Quad. Night: Play Pyjama Party @ Academy (9pm - 2am) // Freshers Quiz in the Crank Marquee (8 - 10pm) // Film Night in the Howell Theatre (7pm)

Day: Cemetery Pitches - Afro-Caribbean BBQ & Steel Band (1-6pm) // Rounders with Women’s Sports Clubs (4-6pm) // Poster Sale in Academy (2 - 6pm) // Pool Comp in Loco’s // Guitar Hero (12-4pm) and Westside BBQ (1-3pm) in the Crank Gardens // Croquet (12-6pm) & Pimp my Contact (12-4pm) in the Quad // Treasure Hunt - collect list from UBS Reception 12-4pm Night: Comedy Club @ Academy (7pm) // Masti @ Academy (10.30pm) // Academy of House @ Loco’s (10.30pm) // LAN Event @ Howell Theatre (7pm) // Film Night @ Howell Theatre (7pm) // Speed Mating in the Crank Marquee (8pm)

Day: London Sightseeing - Meet at 9am, UBS Reception // Horse Riding - meet at 1pm, UBS Reception // RockBand in the Academy (2 - 5pm) // Guitar Hero in Crank Marquee (12 - 4pm) // Man o Man in the Quad (2 - 3pm) Night: Salsa Lessons in Academy (5-7pm) // Return to Ibiza in Academy (9pm) // Singstar in Loco’s (7 - 10pm) // Homecoming The Journey with ACS in the Howell Theatre (6.30pm) // Debating Society in the Crank Marquee (8pm)

Day: Freshers Fayre in the Sports Centre (10am - 4pm) // Poster Sale in Academy (12-4pm) // Poker League Taster Session (2 - 5pm) // Eastside BBQ @ River Pinn (2pm - 5pm) Night: Tony Lee Comedy Hypnotist @ Academy (7-10pm) // Luscious @ Academy (10.30pm - 2am) // Guitar Hero Final Heats in Loco’s (7-10pm) // Amplified @ Loco’s (10.30pm) // Film Night in the Howell Theatre (7pm) // Arts Centre Night of Entertainment (8pm - 11pm)

Day: RAG Day. Picnic on the Pinn @ 12pm // Duck Race on the Pinn at 12.30pm // Wacky Olympics in the Quad (1-4pm) // Horizontal Climb at 2pm on the Concourse Night: Global Launch Party @ Academy (9pm) // Halls of the Year Awards in Loco’s (8 - 10pm) // Christian Union Non-Alcoholic Cocktail Party in the Cranks Gardens (7-11pm)

Snow Holidays! This upcoming season, the club is travelling to Tignes in the French Alps from the 2nd to 9th of January. Previous trips have taken over 100 of Brunel’s biggest party animals to Europe, and this seasons looks to be the biggest yet.

Snow Club By Sam Middlewood

The Snow Club here at Brunel has the 6 day lift pass to gain you access to team up to participate in the events, only been running for few years, but in some of the best slopes in the Alps! plus a few who just got trolleyed. that short time it has become one of For this year, we plan to take part in the most popular and successful clubs, Although the trip hosted by Brunel more inter-university competitions, and had the biggest member intake of Snow Club is the highlight of our year such as the BUSC (British Universities all clubs and societies for the first at Uni, it’s far from all we have to Snow Sports Council) Main Event, semester of last year. offer. held in Austria every Easter. The reason for the club’s To get both new and existing Of course the club offers a increasing popularity, particularly with members ready for the trip, the club packed non-snow related social fresher’s, is that skiing, snowboarding, offers lessons for both boarders and calendar to go with all the on the and unfortunately snowblading, are skiers at a very cheap rate. Weekly slope action, with our own take on continuing to be Pub Golf, dominating sports all “...The lessons cater for all ability levels, from guys and girls nights out in over the globe, and who have never seen snow before, to those who want to fine- central with the club’s trip to tune their technique to save embarrassment in France....” London, France each winter to themed sessions, held at Bracknell dry ski carve it up for a week long party, we Academy night and ice-skating are just slope, are priced at around £12 per make sure we’re a big part of it. a few ideas we are working on. session and that includes transport to This upcoming season, the Brunel Snow Club really has the slope from Uni campus. The club is travelling to Tignes in the something to offer everyone, from lessons cater for all ability levels, from seasoned pro to total novice, come French Alps from the 2nd to 9th of guys and girls who have never seen January. Previous trips have taken along to their stall at Freshers Fayre, snow before, to those who want to over 100 of Brunel’s biggest party meet the guys and girls who are fine-tune their technique to save animals to Europe, and this seasons responsible for making this club one of embarrassment in France. looks to be the biggest yet. the best at Uni, join up, get a load of Until last year the club didn’t The cost of the trip this year free stuff, check out this years club kit compete, this year we are starting to is just £345, which includes return and get a discount, and find out more branch out into both ski and transport from Brunel to Tignes, ski about us. snowboard race events. In November in/out accommodation near the heart 2007, the BUDS (British Universities of the resort town, 4 evening meals, Dry Slope) Event was held just outside plus an evening BBQ , and of course Edinburgh, and Brunel Snow took a


Le Sport

The Champion’s League England’s top two teams descended on Moscow for the first all-English final of the UEFA Champions League.

By Ben Vallely

Manchester United looked the better What a summer we’ve had for sport! team before the break, and after the The Brits are finally doing well left, interval, Chelsea dominated as much right and centre, with a Formula One as United had in the first half, but all ace seemingly marching towards a efforts resulted in a draw after Extra World Championship, Andy Murray Time. winning his first Masters Level Penalties ensued, with the decider Tournament in Miami after a brilliant falling to John Terry. His slip was showing at Wimbledon and Team GB expensive, sending the ball clattering doing ludicrously well in Beijing. Add against the post. Causing another round in which saw Nicolas Anelka stepped up to the plate to stay in it and Edwin van this to an unusually good Tour de der Sar saving to win the cup. Manchester United celebrated their third France for the Brits, all change for the Champions League, fifty years after the tragedy of the Munich Air Disaster, and England Cricket Team (now with a exactly forty years after their first European Cup triumph. Chelsea and the rest of South African in charge…), a pretty Europe will have to try again this season instead. good Euro 2008 (even if the home nations weren’t present!) and all following on from a magnificent from all. Spain challenged Germany in around the Spanish harbour of Champions League Final from the Valencia, sits on top of the World Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow at the end a very even final, and ran out 1-0 victors, winning their first piece of Championship table five points ahead of of May. Wow! silverware in 44 years. reigning World Champion Kimi Raikkonen. However, one of the age old sayings of Formula One states that, to win a World Championship you need skill, speed and a little bit of luck, which Lewis Hamilton made a flying start to After the Champion’s League was a seems to currently be firmly on the the Formula One European season back in March Stevenage Kid’s side at the moment! “What a summer we’ve had for tournament with victory in the that no home sport! The Brits are finally doing curtain-raiser in well left, right and centre..” nation would Mark Cavendish became the appear in first British rider to win four stages on for the the Tour de France in a single year in first time 2008, which is a nice refreshing change, since but he was powerless to even attempt to Euro ’84. stop the third Spaniard in three years, Most this time Carlos Sastre, winning the couldn’t event, with an amazing all-round assault miss out on the B-roads of France to become the on the overall winner of the Yellow Jersey. football fix though and as a result, Melbourne. As Ferrari found their form Eventually, along rolled the greatest “adopted” countries that were competing, with claims like "my “...Brunel has a very rich sporting heritage (we ARE grandmother’s postman was Dutch, it better than Loughborough, no matter what they’d have feels like home to me". After the shock you believe!)” of France being sent packing at the Group Stage, nobody could quite from Malaysia onwards, Lewis carried sporting spectacle on the Planet, The envisage the knock-out stages playing on being consistent, and, at the time of Olympic Games. High hopes for Team out as they did. Total football seemed writing shortly before the brand new GB appear to have been very well back in vogue with fast flowing football European Grand Prix, on a street circuit founded and Tom Daley seems one of

European Championship

Formula 1

Tour de France

Beijing Olympics


many to use their performances as a Individual Sprint and the Keirin Titles, for the Beijing Games. Phillips Idowu springboard (Oh dear – Ed) for as well as the Team Sprint title with the claimed a Silver Medal in the Men’s preparations for London 2012! Initially, help of Jason Kenny and Jamie Staff. Triple Jump, Heather Fell claimed Silver Team GB was expected to finish fourth in Also among the talents of the GB in the Women’s Modern Pentathlon and the medals Cycling Team Tom Stallard was part of the Men’s table with was Rebecca Eights Rowing Crew that won Silver. 41 medals, Romero, who, Also Brunellians are Heptathletes Kelly of which after winning Sotherton and Julie Hollman, Sprinters 10 to 12 the Individual Montell Douglas, Emma Ania and Laura should be Pursuit Title, Turner, Rower Beth Rodford, Hockey Gold. In became the players Matt Daly, Ben Marsden, Jo Ellis reality, as first female and Kate Walsh, and cyclist Roger the Games athlete to win Hammond. ended, we medals at two If you wish to get involved with have 19 (!) consecutive any of the Sports Clubs and Societies at Gold games, in two Brunel, almost all of the current clubs Medals, completely will have representatives at Fresher’s part of a total of 47, sitting 4th in the different sports, her Gold in Beijing Fayre on Thursday 25 September, so medals table. adding to the Fours Rowing Silver she don’t hesitate to get down there and sign Rebecca Adlington amazed the won in Athens four years ago and Ben up for information about training sporting sessions and trials. Don’t worry about world by “...Stand proud and be counted, you WILL be better “not being good enough” at trials, as winning the than you think, and you may even surprise yourself and that is almost certainly not the case. first Gold Stand proud and be counted, you steam straight onto the team sheets!” Medal for a WILL be better than you think, and Ainslie managed to battle the very British you may even surprise yourself and British woman in the pool in 48 years, and then winning another one a few days weather in the Finn Sailing class, to claim steam straight onto the team sheets! his third successive Olympic Gold (two in later (just like buses…you wait YEARS for one and then… well… you know). 14 the Finn class, one in the Laser class), all following a Silver Medal in Atlanta 12 year old Thomas Daly was originally aiming for his first Olympic experience to years ago (in the Laser class). occur in 2012, yet due to becoming National Champion, and then qualifying for Beijing, he gains valuable Olympic know-how that should serve him in good Brunel has a very rich sporting heritage stead when he competes in London. (we ARE better than Loughborough, no Chris Hoy became the first British matter what they’d have you believe!), Olympian in 100 years, since the 1908 and had no fewer than 14 current or London Olympics, to win three Gold alumni students registered in Team GB Medals in one Games, when he won the

Sports at Brunel

To get involved in Le Nurb get in touch with Ben Moxey, the editor at You can find out more about us online at This issue will be available online from 29th September 2008 for your viewing pleasure.


Issue 1 2008/9