I often tell myself to trust my instinct about a stranger or a situation. As much as I am reluctant to label another person or think the worst of a situation because I dread being categorized and shun stereotyping. It is not easy to decipher a personâ€™s real intentions and it could be years of legal practice, I have a tendency to read behind what is said or written. What if the person does not even know what he or she is thinking or saying ? Have you ever experienced the time when words simply come out of your mouth before you realize that it is not what you really have meant? Often I find that my preferences change over the years and I cannot quite remember why I have expressed certain views or liked a particular style or what attracts me to something, someone or some place, whatever that is or wherever that is.
Sometimes I wonder if we think about things that upset us or things that upset us somehow crawl into our mind and disturb our otherwise calm mind. We do not necessarily share everything that is on our mind. In fact we must not and cannot possibly share everything that goes through our minds. Do we even know our own mind? There are times when I find thoughts racing through my head and I have to somehow find ways to still the mind. Through reading and writing, I find I can see some clarity and my perceptions about things and people become more astute.
Some Mondays when I dread going to work, I feel sick in my stomach or I feel I am coming down with some flu bug so I tell my friends I figure l am allergic to Mondays. How I wish I could take time off to just eat, travel, read and write. It is not going to happen unless I work towards it.