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GLOSS BUSINESS | MONEY | LIFE | REVIEWS | YOU

JUNE 2015


CONTENTS JUNE 2015 05 A Message From Me BUSINESS

Why LBD member A LARGE 20 06 ADD Lucie Trinco is the PINCH OF SALT: An exclusive interview with Bernard Salt

bravest of them all

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Grand Designs Debbie O’Connor

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Creating A Brand-Effective Media Profile Michelle Soia

20 Coraggosio: It’s Italian For Courage Lucie Trinco

MONEY

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gift to you this Why Lois Lane is 62 Our 60 month: an exclusive feeling distinctly extract from Margie Warrell’s new book

cowardly

Are You Following The Care Instructions? Melissa Browne


LIFE

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GLOSS MAGAZINE Issue 22 Courageous Choices Karen Gately

36 Building Brave Careers Margot Andersen

EDITOR IN CHIEF Janine Garner MANAGING EDITOR Kate Matheson CONTRIBUTING EDITORS

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Courage; Action, Or Just Words? Adrian Morgan

Margot Andersen Dr Jenny Brockis Melissa Browne Nikki Fogden-Moore Adrian Morgan FEATURED THIS MONTH

YOU

48 Brain Fit Leaders Dr Jenny Brockis

Bernard Salt Karen Gately Debbie O’Connor Lucie Trinco Michelle Soia EDITORIAL & ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES kate@littleblackdressgroup.com.au MEMBERSHIP & FEEDBACK ENQUIRIES

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Bringing Mojo Back Nikki Fogden-Moore

support@littleblackdressgroup.com.au PUBLISHED BY LBDGROUP littleblackdressgroup.com.au

REVIEWS

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Book: Owning It Blog: The Braveness Project

© LBDG 2015 All content in this newsletter is protected under Australian and International copyright laws. Reproduction in whole or in part without the written permission of LBDGroup is strictly forbidden. The greatest care has been taken to ensure the accuracy of information in this online magazine at time of going to press, and we accept no responsibility for omissions or errors. All rights reserved.

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Leadership is not a position or a title, it is action and example.

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A MESSAGE FROM ME

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elcome to the June issue of GLOSS. This month, we are looking at aspects of Bravery and Courage. Whether it is personal, professional, or a combination of both, to step outside the comfort zone and take risks is a journey not everyone is willing to take. Thankfully for you, our readers, all of our contributors have made that leap of faith and in the process have an incredible story to tell.

We are also incredibly fortunate to be able to feature in this issue the brilliant and very courageous Margie Warrell, great friend to LBDGroup, and her new book - fittingly titled, of course, Brave: 50 Everyday Acts of Courage. She has generously given us the opportunity to share an exclusive excerpt of the book with you as her gift of bravery. Make sure that you make June a month of ‘I will’ rather than ‘I won’t’ to do justice to your own ability to be brave.

From our exclusive interview with Bernard Salt on generational courage in the workplace, and who our courageous And, as always, remember to leaders of industry are, to LBD member Lucie Trinco’s frank and personal story Inspire. Connect. Succeed. of what it takes to be courageous in small business, this month’s issue investigates just what bravery means. BUY FROM ME TO WE NOW!

JANINE GARNER EDITOR IN CHIEF GLOSS JUNE 2015

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here is something about Bernard Salt that puts one in mind of being back in the lecture theatre at University. It’s nothing to do with his manner, or tone, or any sense that he is anything other than charming and personable. It is simply that he is phenomenally whip-smart and quick on the uptake. As a result, I felt as if a favourite lecturer was peering closely at my intellect and finding it terribly, terribly wanting.

ADD A LARGE PINCH OF SALT: AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH BERNARD SALT

There is no indication that this was not in fact the case, although thankfully, he was far too much of a gentleman to reveal whether I passed or failed the Professor Salt ‘Is She Pseudo Smart or a Genuine Sage?’ test. What I can say that I am intelligent enough to comprehend, is this. If you are given the opportunity to talk business, bravery, generational conflict in the workplace and the lack of political brilliance in Australia with Bernard - actually, you could probably talk about baked beans and he would have a new perspective and some neverbefore released statistics about Heinz - embrace it. You will go away with a brain fizzing on a bigger firecracker high than the Sydney Harbour Bridge on New Year’s Eve.

It is fitting that this month’s issue has Kate Matheson a theme revolving around bravery and

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courageous thinking, because for someone who writes, speaking to a well-known and esteemed writer whom you personally admire requires a great deal of bravery - and a fair dose of chutzpah. Bernard is a prolific writer; his regular gig is as a twice-weekly columnist with The Australian - and he is of course the author of five best-selling books dealing with the mores, manners and many foibles of Australian society and the workplace. His research into what makes the different generations tick, both in their own skins and in their interactions with others, is ground-breaking and insightful. As a National Partner for KPMG Australia, heading up KPMG Demographics, a division he founded, he is producing essential people-centric data at a level unheard and undreamed of ten years ago. My point is made, I think. It was time to put the big girl reporter pants on, and courage the hell up. I wanted to know what he felt the biggest challenges currently facing each of the generations in the workplace are. How can they turn their fears around and act courageously?

THE BIGGEST FEAR FOR ANYONE AND EVERYONE IS IRRELEVANCE. THEY WANT TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO MEANINGFUL WORK, MAINTAIN ENGAGEMENT, AND ULTIMATELY, BE REWARDED WITH THE APPROPRIATE REMUNERATION. TO BECOME IRRELEVANT WIPES ALL OF THIS AWAY, AND LEAVES US LACKING ANY DIRECTION. His response was prompt and forthright. ‘The biggest fear for anyone and everyone is irrelevance. They want to have the ability to do meaningful work, maintain engagement, and ultimately, be rewarded with the appropriate remuneration. To become irrelevant wipes all of this away, and leaves us lacking any direction. In terms of challenges facing the generations individually, they can be summed up by steps. For Gen Y, it’s a fear of Stepping Up. For the Xers, it’s being able to Stay On The Step; and for the Boomers, it’s a fear of Stepping Back.’ GLOSS JUNE 2015

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I asked him to expand on this. ‘Gen Y generally has an apprehension of moving beyond adolescence and growing up – of facing the realisation that now it’s time to save for a mortgage, to commit to a relationship, and to find one’s way in the world. It’s also about coming to the realisation that the world doesn’t always think you’re wonderful. They are very civic minded – they look at and measure themselves in terms of giving back – and in terms of being seen to give back. So within the workplace, the whole idea of stepping up and leading effectively and in the right way is something that presents a challenge, and is a fear to a certain extent.’ I was particularly interested in what he had to say about Gen X, because I am smack bang in the upper-middle X demographic, and I know what I fear most in terms of my own success/fail rates in the workplace. ‘Gen X has been holding the management helm since the GFC – in other words, managing business during perhaps some of the most turbulent times in corporate life. They have faced the advent of digital disruption, including the thought that your competitor isn’t the obvious one; a prime example being that of Uber for taxis. They have faced the “unknown unknowns”. They are standing looking wistfully both at Baby Boomers – who only had to deal with managing conventional business, whilst they deal with asymmetric corporate warfare - and at Gen Y, who seem to have a certainty about the way to handle the new business age that they lack’. I personally have always felt a certain need to succeed out of guilt; guilt that if I don’t be a powerhouse of personal and business brilliance, I am undervaluing the sacrifices of my grandparents in the Second World War, and those of my parents who didn’t have the opportunities I had when it came to choice of career and education. I wanted to know if Bernard thought this was a Gen X-ian trait. ‘ I certainly think that migrant kids - those who are the next generation on from the “ten pound Poms” and Greek and Italian immigrants of the 50s and 60s have a strong generational obligation. I also think that Gen Y have a different feeling of obligation in that their parents had tertiary education access – can they do the same, and succeed? It was easier for the Baby Boomers; their parents were not generally well-educated, and most had achieved more professionally by the age of 21 than their parents would achieve in a lifetime. 8

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At the same time, for the Baby Boomers, they are now facing a loss of relevance. It actually has a name; Relevance Deprivation Syndrome. Having been in management positions for over fifteen years, and now being confronted by letting go, handing over the reins... the biggest challenge and fear is in stepping back. It takes a great deal of courage’. He also feels that the way in which we are working now has meant a need for greater bravery in business generally. ‘The age we are living in - the age of information and a constant availability of products, ideas, and concepts - has completely changed the way we work. The power balance has shifted to the consumer; any, and all, products and ideas have

THE AGE WE ARE LIVING IN - THE AGE OF INFORMATION AND A CONSTANT AVAILABILITY OF PRODUCTS, IDEAS, AND CONCEPTS - HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED THE WAY WE WORK. THE POWER BALANCE HAS SHIFTED TO THE CONSUMER; ANY, AND ALL, PRODUCTS AND IDEAS HAVE TO REMAIN RELEVANT [FOR SUCCESS TO CONTINUE]. to remain relevant [for success to continue]. This has engendered a need for bravery in speaking out [on an internal and external level], in being yourself in business, and being willing to make commentary. Authenticity is essential, as is visibility.’ I wanted to know what he thought about bravery in Australian culture and politics - which is of course reflected in our choice of leaders and iconic figures. The groundswell of support behind Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren is showing a cultural shift in America that was unimaginable in the 80s and 90s GLOSS JUNE 2015

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– one thinks of Geraldine Ferraro for example. Having had a female Prime Minister previously here, I asked him why he felt that there is so much less representation by women in the current government at an executive level – and the opposition for that matter? ‘There is no figure [currently in Australian politics] that in any way compares with the impact of Hillary Clinton; Julia Gillard was our great white hope – Julie Bishop could be, but probably won’t. Circumstances haven’t yet presented the right candidate. This is simply the luck of the draw. Medicine, law, and other professions in this country are producing remarkable women leaders – but not politics as yet.

EXTENDING THE THEME OR THE PARADIGM ISN’T PARTICULARLY BRAVE... IT’S UNDERSTANDABLE AND SUCCESSFUL, BUT IT’S NOT COURAGEOUS... It has taken twenty years of experience for Hillary Clinton to get to this point; whereas in Australia, there is no longevity. Generally, in politics, those who “lead” - both men and women – are shooting stars in terms of their time at the top.’ I mentioned that Australians as a whole have a lot of bravado, which is of course the opposite of being brave – both professionally and personally. Does he think that when it comes to our position on the international stage, we tend to bluff ourselves when it comes to overestimating our importance and significance? ‘Yes I do. We are a self-confident people; some might say deluded. Even though we are the twelfth largest economy on the planet, this doesn’t give us the independence we should have, nor the impact we think we have. We tend to be largely erroneously - overly pleased with ourselves.’ I asked him who he felt were genuinely courageous public figures in Australian society and business. ‘ For me, it’s those men and women who are solid, astute business people - those whose hands you want on the wheel. Michael Chaney (Chairman of NAB), Gail Kelly... it’s an incredibly hard job running a corporation with tens, if not hundreds of thousands of jobs in Australia, and a tremendous responsibility. 10

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I admire greatly the historian, Geoffrey Blainey, who foresaw the rising power in the 80s of Asia with his brilliant and courageous book “The Tyranny of Distance”’. Finally, I wanted to know what he thought were the bravest business decisions taken in the last twenty to thirty years, both nationally and internationally? Who does he feel are the Captains Courageous of commerce now? ‘Richard Branson; he’s very brave and unbelievably successful. And it’s not like there’s a low barrier to entry – he is an example of going to a casino and putting everything on the black. His capacity to take on “big” is quite extraordinary. For a business - Apple; the iPhone was a society changer. Similarly, in terms of a lack of courage, Kodak – for not seeing the potential of digital. Encyclopaedia Britannica similarly. There are certainly a lot of people I admire; at an international level, the head of Netflix, Reed Hastings, put everything on the line, and I felt that was extraordinary courage. David Thodey, the ex-CEO of Telstra, steadily, assuredly changed the way Australians see Telstra. He is very strategic and safe handed. In terms of not showing a particular amount of courage, it would have to be Tim Cook. Since Steve Jobs’ death, the Apple watch is of course the first new product. It’s the logical next step, and one that Jobs would probably have made himself. A courageous decision would be to take Apple in a completely different direction. Extending the theme or the paradigm isn’t particularly brave. It’s understandable and successful; but it’s not courageous in the sense that they need to take the business in another direction altogether – AI for example, or driverless cars. He has only looked at the current trajectory.’ If there is anyone who looks outside the current trajectory - and perhaps outside the stratosphere - it’s Bernard. His scope of thought is astonishing, and his understanding of what makes not just his own generation, but the crossgenerational workplace and Australian society generally tick is an absolute joy to take in. Brain still fizzing. GLOSS JUNE 2015

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stay humble

WORK HARD 12

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be kind


business

business: /ˈbɪznəs/ noun

1. a person’s regular occupation, profession, or trade. 2. commercial activity.

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I

grew up in a small bush town in South Africa called White River. It was nestled on the border of the world’s largest nature reserve, the Kruger National Park. My childhood was filled with long, sunny days, hours exploring the rocky outcrops, making forts and playing with clay while my mum threw pots. I was the oldest of 4 children and what I remember most about that carefree time, was the community I grew up in. Everyone seemed so connected, supportive and caring. Children called friends’ parents ‘Aunty and Uncle’, not because they were family, but because we were all treated like family. Lift club to and from school meant that we spent extra time with our friends, but it meant that our mums only had to take us to school a day or two a week as they spread the load. This was the community I grew up in, so I guess you could say that collaboration is in my blood.

GRAND DESIGNS Debbie O’Connor

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Imagine my surprise then when I grew up, left home and began to explore the world beyond my borders. A world full of disconnect, solitude and single mindedness. It seemed crazy to me that everyone was working so hard - and all alone. Why didn’t they connect with people and share the load? I say this now with the luxury of hindsight. The truth is that I started my creative studio, White River Design (WRD) alone after moving to Australia.


I was in a country where I knew noone other than my husband and his family. I battled it out and struggled through, as I didn’t have any network to fall back on. I had no history in the country. I really felt the isolation, the overwhelming fear of not knowing if what I was doing would work. I didn’t have anyone to bounce ideas off. I took a leap of faith, backed myself and never looked back. OK, so I make it sound as though that was easy to do. It wasn’t. There were (and still are) a significant amount of tears, doubt, failed ideas, wasted time

and of course wasted money. I realise how much I missed the connected community of my youth. I began to yearn for a space where I could work with like-minded people and so 10 years after I started WRD, my next journey into a start-up began. As with all businesses, The Creative Fringe started with an idea. Damn those ideas! It seemed like a simple concept, especially as it was based on some of my core beliefs which include collaboration, abundance and the power of relationships. The idea was to design a space where many creative GLOSS JUNE 2015 15


and entrepreneurial people could work under one roof, leverage off each other and join forces to take on bigger projects that they may previously have ignored. I knew that my plan involved capital. It was at this point that I realised that my negotiation skills had to come into play. I had to convince my husband that we should purchase a commercial property through our self managed fund. Some

may say that I have been brave setting up my business, but the true bravery was the faith that my husband put in my ability to make this work. We found the property - a dirty, old mechanic warehouse that needed a lot of TLC! We mortgaged our house to fund the renovation and so the next venture began. I should also note at 16

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this stage that although co-working is popular in the major cities, it is a very new concept to Penrith and I was unprepared for the amount of education it was going to take to get people to embrace what we were doing. We launched with much fanfare and excitement. But winter followed soon after and no one came. I started to panic! What had I done? I’ve invested our retirement funds and worldly

possessions into a property and business concept that wasn’t working. I knew I couldn’t give up, I had too much invested. I needed to trust in my gut, allow winter to pass and then work my marketing skills to get the people to come. Spring is a wonderful time of year. As the grass gets greener and the flowers


start to blossom, people begin to come out of their hiding places and discover the world beyond winter. The people did come. The collaborations started to happen and our community has begun growing.

on the line. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. The trick is to keep moving, thinking, evolving. If something doesn’t work, move on quickly and if it does, hit the repeat button.

Anyone who has ever started a business would know that it’s not easy. It takes a lot of bravery and self belief in yourself to give things a go. We put so much

Life as a business owner is hard but exciting, challenging yet rewarding and always evolving. I salute all who have been brave enough to travel this path. GLOSS JUNE 2015 17


CREATING A BRANDEFFECTIVE MEDIA PROFILE TOP TIPS FOR MAKING THE BEST IMPACT WITH MICHELLE SOIA

1: STRATEGY & APPROACH

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ike every other aspect of your business, your media approach also requires strategy and planning, perhaps even more than others. Many businesses are affected by their lack of planning around their communication with the media. Identify key events and opportunities within at least a 12 month time frame. A lacklustre “I’m just going to throw it out there, close my eyes and hope someone picks it up” approach will never work. A good plan, written well with great timing is crucial to execute a smart media engagement.

2: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

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his is a phrase you will hear – a lot. Knowing your audience is key in the delivery of your message. The right content combined with the right medium of media will bring you a return.

Ask yourself – How does your audience consume information? Is it online, radio, television, newspapers or social media? By what means? Do they read it, watch it listen to it and also most importantly will they look to share it? The biggest mistake not only made by businesses but also PR firms is saturating the market with a generic message that more than likely if the media outlet receives it in their inbox they are going to hit delete. Your information needs to be tailored to your audience and deliberately placed based on consumer habits.

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3: QUALITY CONTENT

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othing substitutes a quality story. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. When looking to deliver your message read it again, but from a third person perspective, and ask yourself these questions – Am I interested in the topic by the headline presented? Does the content in this piece capture me with a story? Is this newsworthy? Measuring what your audience want to hear is more important than what you want to tell. By keeping your story relevant, human and interesting, you will capture the audience’s interest.

4: AVAILABILITY

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lways be prepared. If you are putting yourself out there to be contacted by the media, make sure that you are available. Correct contact details, phone numbers, email, and social media handles will enable the media to have that 24/7 access to you that you have offered them. Be the immediate point of contact; the last thing a senior journalist wants is to call through and get hold of your PA who in turn then needs to contact you to book an appointment. Take the opportunity that is presented to you – this will assist you in building your expert status.

5: SELL YOURSELF

6: BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

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ctually don’t. Ever. My greatest fear when it comes to hearing a client on radio or watching them on the television, is that they will suddenly go into a spiel about themselves, their book or their business when the interviewer has not asked the question. If you have been identified by the media as the expert commentator on a subject, more than often they will have already done this in the introduction. As mentioned in quality content, you are there to discuss a newsworthy topic, not to sell; if you want to sell then perhaps you should have been contacting the advertising department not editorial.

ne of the greatest mistakes made by commentators is that they fail to follow up and build a real relationship with the journalist, producer or presenter. This sets a foundation for future media engagements. A brief thank you email is all it takes to acknowledge how appreciative you are of the opportunity that has been given; you are not irreplaceable and there is always someone else out there willing and able to jump on board in your position.

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CORAGGIOSO: IT’S ITALIAN FOR BRAVE

Lucie Trinco

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know that to many people, my life seems like a bit of a fairytale, and in many ways, they aren’t all that far off the mark, certainly from a personal perspective. I am incredibly lucky in that I have achieved a happily ever after in the marriage I have - it isn’t perfect, because that would be insanity! - but it’s happy, and I know how amazing that is. I have three beautiful, happy, healthy children, and again, that is something that so many women don’t get to say and celebrate, and I also see that as a fairytale blessing.

I think I can safely say that this is not the life of Lucie Trinco, self-proclaimed legendary handbag designer, and as mentioned above, mother of three girls...

There is a certain tendency though, and I think it is getting bigger and bigger, to have pre-conceived ideas about those people who live their life in the public eye - on any level, be it large or small. If you are a celebrity, a famous author, director, movie star, famous for being famous or even just a business owner who is active on social media, your life is perfect in every way - right?

Over the years, there have been varying degrees of courage needed as the business has ebbed and flowed. Working pretty much until the day before each of my girls was born, because our team was so tiny. Packing bags for orders until two in the morning at peak times - and then having to reduce prices when things were not so great, and watching what you have spent so much time and effort on be sold for less than it took to make it.

I mean, everything is glamorous, and exciting, and you spend your days flitting from lunch meetings to shopping sessions and then your evenings at incredible events, meeting even more exciting people. 20

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Under seven. I have owned and operated Il Tutto for the past seven years. It is as much my baby as my three bella bambinas, and I left the security of a corporate role (and fab design studio) to give it life. That takes a lot of guts, if I do say so myself.

That is when you realise that life really isn’t a fairytale, and maybe a godmother with wings didn’t gift you


with as much courage as you thought at I have been so lucky in the tribe of birth. beautiful women (and a few men!) that Il Tutto has brought together. I can’t The next week, though, you take a deep think of a single truly famous person breath and keep going - because you who has a fanbase like my business. ARE in the public eye, you DO have But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t take a business to run, and because bravery courage to open up and admit when is there, deep down. Plus, social media things aren’t great. It actually makes waits for no woman, and realistically, it harder, because I feel as though I you know how loyal your customers am personally letting them all down. are. They have supported you for a long I know that they see me in a certain time, so you owe it to them to look as way, and to ruin that image in any way though the fairytale is just that. feels as though I am betraying them. My blog posts, my writing for various

WHAT INSTAGRAM DOESN’T SHOW IS THE LEVEL OF BRAVERY YOU NEED TO PUT YOURSELF AND YOUR STORY - AND YOUR BUSINESS - OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THERE IS NO HASHTAG TO DESCRIBE THE WAY IT FEELS WHEN COURAGE TAKES A NOSEDIVE ALONG WITH YOUR ‘LIKES’ ON A PARTICULAR FACEBOOK PRODUCT POST, AND NOBODY THINKS MUCH OF THE BABY BAG YOU SPENT SIX MONTHS CREATING.

What Instagram doesn’t show is the level of bravery you need to put yourself and your story - and your business - out there for everyone to see in the first place. There is no hashtag to describe the way it feels when courage takes a nosedive along with your ‘likes’ on a particular Facebook product post, and nobody thinks much of the baby bag you spent six months creating. Actually maybe there is... but it’s not really a word for GLOSS!

fashion websites and magazines... all of this makes my life look like that fairytale. ‘Lucie Trinco, owner of Il Tutto, sitting at her desk surrounded by sketches and fabric swatches, wearing a gorgeous outfit and always, always even more gorgeous lipstick.’ There’s a reason why my business is called ‘Il Tutto’; it’s Italian for ‘everything’, and sometimes ‘everything’ GLOSS JUNE 2015 21


means the illusion of everything. If you are going to live your business and your life publicly, they are going to be very similar to my baby bags and handbags.

I try to live my life, whether it is in private or in that public space, with courage every day. I say to myself every day how grateful I am for what I have achieved, and for the blessings I have been given in my family and

THERE’S A REASON WHY MY BUSINESS IS CALLED ‘IL TUTTO’; IT’S ITALIAN FOR ‘EVERYTHING’, AND SOMETIMES ‘EVERYTHING’ MEANS THE ILLUSION OF EVERYTHING. You need the ability to clean them out and wash stains away easily, because things are going to get messy. You need compartments, so that you can shut away the things that are most important to you and your family. And you need a really good design, so that outwardly life looks pretty damn amazing. 22

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my abilities. But I would love for every reader of GLOSS to understand that bravery is not just a word when it comes to business, especially small business. It is a challenge. Sometimes I need to use that naughty hashtag word to face it.


money

money: /ˈmĘŒni/ noun

a current medium of exchange in the form of coins and banknotes; coins and banknotes collectively.

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ARE YOU FOLLOWING THE CARE INSTRUCTIONS? Melissa Browne

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f you’ve ever purchased a gorgeous cocktail dress, a dapper suit or a fabulous feathered coat (OK the last one may be just me) you’ll understand that buying your prized outfit is only the first step.

That’s because you’re (hopefully) not going to take off your now slightly soiled outfit and leave it on the floor to be kicked to the bottom of the wardrobe where it will live for the next few months.

The next steps are organising where you’re going to wear your new outfit, working out how you’re going to accessorise it and of course, the latest step, how it’s going to look its best in a selfie.

You’re also (hopefully again) not going to throw your new suit or cocktail dress into the washing machine without checking first if it’s hand wash or dry clean only.

Of course, once the outfit is worn, photographed and uploaded to your various social media sites, the most important step is still to come. 24

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Instead, if you’re wise, you’ll read the instructions on how best to care for your new outfit, follow them when you’ve finished wearing it, and then store your dress or suit appropriately


until next time you want to wear it.

instructions.

Now, if all you do is go away and decide to follow washing instructions, my work here is partly done.

What do I mean by that? Well, deciding to purchase the asset is simply the first step. Sure it might be one of the hardest and most exciting steps but it should always be the first step. After that you should follow step-by-step care instructions to make sure your asset is protected and looking its best for the long term.

However I think too often we’re following the care instructions on our clothes, but we’re not thinking about the care instructions on the biggest and most expensive assets that we’re purchasing.

Let’s use the example of the commercial Let’s take a large, expensive, commonly property of a business and look at the

I THINK TOO OFTEN WE’RE FOLLOWING THE CARE INSTRUCTIONS ON OUR CLOTHES, BUT NOT ON THE BIGGEST ASSETS WE ARE PURCHASING. This is like wearing your new suit or cocktail dress and sitting next to your clumsy drunk cousin at a wedding. The question isn’t will you get red wine spilled all over your new outfit, it’s when and how much. purchased asset: the commercial property of a business. What business owner hasn’t showed off their shiny new office or warehouse when they’ve first purchased it, in the same way we might twirl around in a new cocktail dress or swagger in a new suit? However when the new owner signs on the dotted line they effectively throw their new purchase onto the wardrobe floor and stomp on it because they’re not following the proper care

care instructions I believe need to be followed: Step 1: Make sure the property is purchased in the most appropriate structure. Too often I see business property being purchased in the company name the business is operating out of. This is like wearing your new suit or cocktail dress and sitting next to your clumsy drunk cousin at a wedding. The question isn’t GLOSS JUNE 2015 25


will you get red wine spilled all over your new outfit, it’s when and how much. Instead, the property should be purchased in a non-trading structure and perhaps not in the name of the director of the company so there is more protection afforded.

birds wash themselves. Instead, I talk to the manufacturer, check the washing instructions, and find a really good drycleaner. It’s the same with your business property.

If you live in Australia for example, one of my preferred structures for business premises is a Self Managed Superannuation Fund (SMSF).

You need to ensure everything you’re doing is based on market value which means obtaining market opinions from those qualified to give them and drawing up commercial leases.

Holding your property in an SMSF means you can effectively contribute more to your retirement, your property is protected and once you retire, all profits and rents may be tax free.

There is also the matter of having the rent paid to the correct entity and the expenses being paid from the correct entity rather than just thinking it’s all the same pot so it doesn’t matter.

Step 2: Make sure you’re being commercial.

This is particularly important with an SMSF.

So you’ve decided your business property should be sold to your SMSF, and you figure it’s worth around $200,000 because Tommy, the gardener at the golf course, told you that’s it’s worth that and your friend mentioned his rent is around $5,000 a month so you’ll stick with that too.

Step 3: Make sure your property is protected for the long term.

And no need for a lease because it’s yours anyway, right? Wrong!

Yes, it’s the money we sometimes feel is being thrown to the wind, but spending money on the right level of insurances and having appropriate wills drawn up means our assets are protected for the long term.

This shouldn’t be a do once and never worry again exercise but a regular When I’m cleaning my feather coat (yes check-in. I really have one, but just deal with it and move on) I don’t hang it outside In my local community, bushfires last in the rain because I figure that’s how year left many residents and business 26

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OFTEN WE’RE SO CAUGHT UP PURCHASING OUR BRIGHT NEW SHINY THING THAT WE DON’T THINK ENOUGH ABOUT THE AFTER-CARE INSTRUCTIONS.

owners drastically under-insured because the cost to rebuild and replace had risen so dramatically. Make sure that you don’t leave you, your business and your family shortchanged if something were to happen. Often we’re so caught up purchasing our bright new shiny thing that we

don’t think enough about the after-care instructions. Make sure you talk to your advisor or accountant about how best to care for your major purchase so it’s not laying at the bottom of the cupboard but is protected and looking its best for years and decades to come. GLOSS JUNE 2015 27


it takes nothing to join the crowd.

everything to stand alone.

it takes

hans f hansen 28

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le a y t y o ir u fa r n w o e t financial a e Cr

30

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l i fe

life: /lĘŒÉŞf/ noun

the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.

GLOSS JUNE 2015 31


COURAGEOUS CHOICES: MAKING BRAVE DECISIONS THAT ENABLE YOU TO THRIVE Karen Gately

“LIFE SHRINKS OR EXPANDS IN PROPORTION TO ONE’S COURAGE.” — ANAÏS NIN

S

uccess in any area of our lives depends on self-belief as well as the ability to conquer both our fears and limiting views of what is possible. Living with courage is underpinned by the strength of our confidence and our conviction to keep tackling any challenge that comes along. Growing up in the martial arts I learned that fighting for our life 32

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demands that, regardless of how scary things get, we must choose to believe in our ability to survive. We can’t afford to either freeze or cower away; surviving requires that we look threat in the eye and meet it head-on. At the core of every lesson in karate is practicing fortitude in the face of extreme pressure, courage to push through our fears, endurance of discomfort, and resilience to keep going or bounce back when we are down.


Karate taught me that courage is a powerful enabler of our ability to not only survive but to thrive. In business, people and circumstances equally challenge us and demand that we act courageously. The strength of both our conviction and resolve to succeed matter at work as much as they do in any other area of life. While in business it isn’t often a matter of life and death, our ability to reach levels of performance and success

occasions in which we are essentially alone in making the choices that will best serve our objectives. While others can guide us, we must find answers within ourselves and have the courage to make the decisions we believe are right. If we choose, every one of us can muster the depth of courage necessary to step out of our comfort zones, go against the grain, and do what we feel is right for us. Be aware however that

THE STRENGTH OF BOTH OUR CONVICTION AND RESOLVE TO SUCCEED MATTER AT WORK AS MUCH AS THEY DO IN ANY OTHER AREA OF LIFE. beyond our own limiting beliefs and boundaries of imagination, requires courageous choices and courageous actions.

limiting beliefs and irrational fears can cloud our view, tempting us to make decisions that are safe rather than optimal.

COURAGEOUS CHOICES

Determining a path or course of action in the face of limiting beliefs or fears undeniably takes courage.

Some of the decisions we need to make in business can be far from easy.

BE INSPIRED

Courageous choices typically challenge us to make gutsy calls. There are plenty Sir Richard Branson’s book Screw Business As Usual reveals powerful of circumstances in which we receive guidance from others, but there are also insights into the courage with which GLOSS JUNE 2015 33


he has lived his life, both in and out of much more. business. Richard’s ability to push the boundaries of conventional thinking to find new and better ways of doing business is inspiring to me. His willingness and ability to swim against the tide of both his internal and external worlds reveals the courageousness of his choices and actions.

Close to 18 years ago my husband and I made what was then considered a courageous choice for him to stay home with the kids while I went to work. Kevin, who we refer to as our Director of Domestic Affairs has been extremely successful and happy to play that role but not everyone agreed with our choice.

The courage with which he has lived up until this point clearly continues to burn, fuelling his desire to make a bigger difference for the good of the planet and everyone living on it. In the book, he comments on the growing connection between business success and doing good, encouraging the reader to look for higher purpose in work and to strive to make a bigger difference for the good of our planet and humanity.

When we first made the decision it was during a time when many still believed a woman’s place was in the home and that ‘manliness’ was defined in part by the ability to provide financial security for the family. Thankfully we were on the cusp of social change, so we weren’t altogether alone; but there were still those who felt we were doing something wrong, and who chose to voice their opinions.

Richard, and other people like him, who believe that we can change the world, we can heal the pain and suffering, and we can all prosper without killing our planet inspire me to think and behave courageously.

‘Don’t you feel guilty leaving your children?’

A better world isn’t possible unless we all find and act with courage. It takes courage to challenge ourselves, to strive to become a better version of the people we already are. To change the world, we need to face and give up a lot—but in doing so I believe we will gain so 34

SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE

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‘Doesn’t it bother you that your wife is looking after you?’ Comments like these became an almost daily event for the first few years. In the face of such criticism, Kevin and I felt even more determined to make the decisions that we knew were right for our own family. It’s true to say however that it took a lot to find and


maintain the courage we needed.

confront, and even convince ourselves that the decisions we have reached Underpinned by our belief that happy are no longer what we want. It takes parents make for happy children, we courage to keep making courageous remained resolute in the convictions we choices at every step along the way. held about the roles we had each chosen to play. It wasn’t easy; and at times, I Even when faced with things that was tempted to question our decisions. stretch our capabilities, it is essential There were days when I worried that that we hold onto the belief and other people may be right after all: that conviction we need to succeed. I was a bad mother who let my children down by not being there for them. Deep down inside, however, I firmly believed not only that was I a better mum for working, but that Kevin was the ideal choice for the role of full-time parent. With three amazing children well on their way to becoming very happy and well-adjusted adults, neither one of us doubt anymore that we made the right decisions.

FIND AND HOLD ON TO COURAGE There is nothing more complex about having courage than choosing to act despite any fears telling us not to. We need to see our own fears and decide not to give in to them by limiting the choices we make. Courageous action starts with making courageous choices. Beyond that, it becomes a matter of maintaining our focus and resolve on the way to achieving our goals. It can be tempting, as we move forward, to second guess the decisions we make, tire of the struggles we GLOSS JUNE 2015 35


BUILDING BRAVE CAREERS Margot Andersen

‘I FEEL LIKE MY SECRET MAGIC TRICK THAT SEPARATES ME FROM A LOT OF MY PEERS IS THE BRAVERY TO BE VULNERABLE AND TRUTHFUL AND HONEST.’

A

- KATY PERRY

ll too often when we think of bravery we think of once-off heroic acts… firefighters who run into burning buildings to rescue people; the person who jumps into the rising flood waters to save a child in danger; or the whistleblower who takes a very public stance to report corruption in the workplace. But the truth is there is no such thing as a small act of bravery. Responding to situations and making decisions - no matter how big or small – when there are no guaranteed results requires brave 36

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thinking and brave action. We currently live and operate in times that crave a higher degree of bravery. Everywhere we turn there is a huge cry in our communities and businesses for a return to genuine authenticity, transparency and engagement. However the truth is, we can’t do any of these things without the bravery to be vulnerable, truthful and honest. To really show up, interact and give things our all.


As leaders (both of our own careers and the businesses we lead) we need to continually push things up a notch, question and challenge the ‘status quo’ and always strive to maintain and develop new standards of excellence. We need to feel comfortable with the fact that we won’t always have all of the answers in stepping out of our comfort zone and we need to stop treading that same, familiar safe path. When we do we will drive both our careers and

Changing career paths, taking on a bigger or more diverse role, proposing new ways of doing business, voicing an opinion that is not shared by the consensus or standing up publicly to share your thoughts and views all requires a high degree of internal strength, conviction and bravery. The reality is being brave can be hard. It is often much easier to sit back and do what we have always done and coast along than to do something different

THE REALITY IS THAT BEING BRAVE IS HARD. IT IS OFTEN MUCH EASIER TO SIT BACK AND DO WHAT WE HAVE ALWAYS DONE AND COAST ALONG, THAN TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAT MIGHT EXPOSE US TO THE WORLD. our businesses forward to new levels of that might expose us to the world. It is success and create future opportunities. however by allowing exposure that you progress and develop any real value in When facing big decisions, new your career and business. challenges or a changed environment, the saying ‘we are our own worst The good news is that bravery is enemies’ often rings true for many something that we are all capable of. of us. At the heart of it is fear – fear It has little to do with status, position, of failure, fear of what others think, title or income. We can all choose to fear of not being good enough. The live bravely in what we do on a daily expectations, limitations and fears basis. Following are a couple of tips to that circle in our minds so often stop help you do just that: us maximizing not only our current opportunity but also our true capability. GLOSS JUNE 2015 37


1. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHY Get crystal clear on both what you want and why. It is so much easier to be brave when acting from a place of clarity, purpose and conviction. Knowing both will allow you to pro-actively pursue pathways with confidence, take risks when called for and stand up and voice opinions when everyone else is quiet.

innovation, creativity and change.” Embracing vulnerability will allow us to navigate the ever-changing, ambiguous world that we live in with confidence. It does not mean that we will always get it right but it will teach us that we will be all right regardless of the outcome. It will allow us to live life more fully and to achieve a higher degree of satisfaction in what we do and why we do it.

GET CRYSTAL CLEAR ON BOTH WHAT YOU WANT AND WHY. IT IS SO MUCH EASIER TO BE BRAVE WHEN ACTING FROM A PLACE OF CLARITY, PURPOSE AND CONVICTION.

2. IDENTIFY YOUR STRENGTHS AND YOUR WEAKNESSES

4. IDENTIFY YOUR TRUSTED INNER CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE

Understanding what both your strengths and weaknesses are will allow you to operate with a higher degree of productivity and efficiency and ultimately bravery. You will make decisions faster, reach out and ask for help earlier and encourage higher degrees of collaboration. When you are honest and transparent about what it is that you do well, you attract opportunities that capitalise on your talents and passions.

We all need people around us to support, challenge and champion what it is that we do. The people that allow us to discuss ideas, make mistakes and succeed without judgment or criticism. They support our actions of bravery regardless of the outcomes.

3. EMBRACE VULNERABILITY In the words of Brene Brown, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of 38

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Most of us don’t think of ourselves as brave. I believe every brave thing we do in life counts. It’s time we stood tall and claimed our bold and audacious selves and used – as Katy Perry says in the quote above – our secret magic trick to set us apart. For it is only when we do that we will gain the confidence to continually live bravely.


Work hard in silence. Let success be our noise.

GLOSS JUNE 2015 39


COURAGE:

ACTION, OR JUST WORDS?

L

Adrian Morgan

ike many words, courage has become over used, with little connection to its meaning. People talking of courageous decisions in politics. People making courageous stands against racism with social media campaigns such as #illridewithyou.

Courage is the thing that allows, or maybe forces us, to take actions, to protect those who cannot protect others. Courage is something that puts you in danger. It inspires fear in you, or potentially intimidation.

I’m calling bullshit on all these.

Courage isn’t demonstrated on the football field. It is demonstrated

It is action, not words of support. Courageously supporting gay marriage. Courage is the person standing up to Having what is termed the courage to domestic violence in the street, not the support gay people in AFL/NRL/insert person signing the white ribbon oath. sport here.

COURAGE IS STANDING UP TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THE STREET. Courage isn’t demonstrated on the football field. It is demonstrated when the only other way out would be cowardice. It is action, not words. To support these things today is no more courageous than putting full cream milk on your muesli. Aristotle said courage was thethe first of all the attributes, as it was the quality which guarantees all the others. Courage is the attribute that allows us to take action. He said it was only seen in truth by soldiers on the battle field, and everyone else was just trying to mimic their heroic efforts. 40

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when the only other way out would be cowardice. So the next time you hear the word courageous, think about it. Did that person really put themselves in harm’s way by their stand of support? Was it action, or just words? Because without action, words of ‘courage’ are as useless as a Facebook like or share.


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LBDs OUT & ABOUT

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you

you: /juË?/ pronoun used to refer to the person or people that the speaker is addressing.

GLOSS JUNE 2015 47


W

hen you first meet Professor Silva (or Desi as she is known to her friends), you can’t help but notice she is a real people person. She is someone who makes you feel really special, because she is genuinely interested in what you have to say. Her magic? She gives her full and undivided attention to whatever she is attending to. You can tell by the way she lights up a room simply by her presence. So you can imagine that as a Paediatrician, she is much loved by all her young patients and their families.

BRAIN FIT LEADERS: HOW HIGH PERFORMANCE THINKING LEADS TO SUCCESS. Dr. Jenny Brockis 48

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From all accounts she has carved out a hugely successful career for herself; as Professor of Paediatrics at Joondalup Health Campus and the University of West Australia, she also runs a private clinical practice, teaches medical students, provides paediatric health care to the Pilbara and is passionate about her work in the field of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Having just finished her Ph.D. examining early risk factors and outcomes for kids with ADHD, she is now heading up a large research project called The Origins with The Telethon Kids Institute and Joondalup Health Campus to look at how noncommunicable disease can influence the early pre-programming and epigenetics of kids’ health. Her life is full to the brim and incredibly busy. So I wanted to ask her how she does it, how does she manage


all the multiple facets of her life that makes her the successful and happy person she is. In chatting to her three main contributing factors were apparent; energy, tenacity and family.

kids she bought a dog and decided to start running regularly along the nearby beach for some exercise. What mattered was that the running had to be done at chat speed, as naturally Desi likes to have a chat and run at the same time!

From there it was perhaps inevitable that one thing would lead to another – triathlons and a Half Ironman As the youngest of three children born to Sri Lankan and Swiss parents she was competition where her time gave her

HIGH ON ENERGY

brought up in an environment where participating in sport was the norm. She swam, played squash, windsurfed and dived. Her natural grace and skill in diving earned her a place in the Sri Lankan dive team and an opportunity to go to the Asian Games. While she never considered herself a natural runner, after she had her own

a place to represent Australia in the World Triathlon held in Perth in 2009. She still swims (having participated in the Rottnest Channel swim half a dozen time either in a team of four or duo), kayaks, and holidays are naturally adventure orientated – climbing mountains, exploring South GLOSS JUNE 2015 49


America, running along the Great Wall a child she was always looking to fix up of China (of course, who would think wounds, real or imaginary. of walking it!) When she was 16 her family moved to Desi uses her love of sports to stay fit, the UK to provide her the best chance revitalized and as her down time. She of getting into medical school. loves bringing people together and Once there, she sat her final school exercise enables her to achieve this. exams and got excellent results. Despite Being outside provides her a natural high – this is what she uses to maintain this, she wasn’t offered a place at any of the Medical Schools so Desi decided her vitality and switch off from work. to take things into her own hands. She discovered who the Medical Deans of Participating in regular exercise keeps several Medical Schools were and then our brain healthy and primes it to be made an appointment to meet them, on in a state of being “ready to learn”. her own terms. One was a dentist, so Learning involves a complexity of paying attention, retaining information, she made herself a dental appointment as a new patient! Another worked in a consolidating and transferring data Pathology lab, so she took herself off to to our long-term data banks and then find the lab where he worked. Of the being able to recall it. three Deans she met, all three offered her an interview and she accepted a In business staying in the “learning state” is essential to not only keep up to place at The Royal Free Hospital. date but to have the mental flexibility to deal with change, make appropriate Having tenacity in any business is a critical value for success. Desi has never decisions and access important accepted “No” for an answer if the memories and known associations. cause is something she believes is worth fighting for. So if you find yourself struggling to come up with new ideas, being able Knowing what we stand for, who we to focus on what matters or remember those crucial items, start your working are and being comfortable in our own skin helps to keep us in a positive mood day with a 20-30 minute session of and motivates us to continue in the aerobic exercise. pursuit of our dreams and goals.

A TERRIER LIKE HOLD ON TENACITY.

Desi said she knew she always wanted to be a doctor from the age of three! As 50

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Tenacity is a common trait of many successful people. They have the right balance of knowing how long to keep going, and when to let go.


It’s easy to give up when confronted with disappointment or failure. Having a mindset that recognises these as temporary setbacks is what provides us with the ability to learn from what hasn’t worked and to be open to trying something different. Flexibility of thinking in our challenging and rapidly changing world is essential to avoid getting stuck in the status quo.

FAMILY FIRST. For Desi, family is everything. She and her husband Barry have three grown up children - and they still all go on regular family holidays together. As the family holiday organiser Desi fills her calendar with regular sojourns for herself and Barry as well as frequent trips around the world with her family.

WHAT’S NEXT? Desi has always had a natural affinity and curiosity about the world around us. It is that curiosity that drives her to always question: Who? Why? What? How? Curiosity is another key to having a high performance brain. It’s about asking, “How can this be done differently, or better?” Desi shared that her greatest wish is for us all to have a greater understanding about what matters to achieve a healthy life: to ensure that our kids are born into a world that will provide them the ability to grow and live to their full potential. She envisages that the research she is now involved with will provide the blueprint to that understanding. That one day this will be taught as a module in school so that our children gain the knowledge and understanding prior to them themselves becoming parents.

In business it can be easy to get sucked into thinking that work is the most important thing in our life. While it may matter a lot, it is those around us, our support group, back up band and most loyal of groupies; our family - that That is the way we can all learn and will be there for us through thick and shape our culture and society. What thin, that are vital. one generation learns is passed down to the next. We are social beings and our social connections are as important to us as the air we breathe, the food we eat and Whether you are a Paediatrician, an Engineer, an Artist or CEO, using the shelter we seek. our brain to develop high performance thinking is what allows us to always For Desi, it’s not a matter of seeking perform at our personal best. work-life balance; it’s about living life to the fullest in every aspect. GLOSS JUNE 2015 51


N

o doubt you’re reading this with a million things on your ‘to do list’ and the resolutions you made in January about your health and fitness are probably well and truly out the window.

BRINGING MOJO BACK: CHECKING YOUR VITALITY BANK BALANCE Nikki Fogden-Moore 52

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Nikki Fogden-Moore

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to jump out of bed in the morning with a bundle of energy, to have a sharp mind for decision making and to limit feeling stressed, to actually look forward to the exercise time you have scheduled in your day - and to know that whilst you are working hard to build your business and your financial security, that you’re also building your health as your wealth? Well, it’s time to do a balance check on the five pillars of your vitality - from business, to personal nutrition and wellbeing, who you spend your time with, and the mindset that you have. All these elements add up to a positive Vitality Bank (TM) balance. Some of the very first questions I ask leadership teams or high achieving individuals when we coach together is ‘can you define a true sense of Vitality? What does the ideal balance look like for you? Are you bringing business and personal goals to life with an integrated approach? Think of this month’s article as a line in the sand for your 360 degree EOFY for your life.


WHAT’S YOUR VITALITY BANK BALANCE?

MORTGAGING YOUR ASSETS YOU’RE IN SURVIVAL MODE Are you... • On ‘ borrowed time’ and running from one thing to another? • Loading up on caffeine and late nights to manage deadlines and big projects? • Working late after you’ve put your kids to bed and still ‘online’ or with a digital device right before you go to sleep? • Packing too many things into your agenda without time to review and process meetings and calls in between? • Pushing the ‘ME’ time, health, wellbeing and fitness goals down the list so they become a weekend occurrence (if that) because life is just too busy? • Spending time with people that drain your energy, challenge your goals and leave you feeling depleted?

Here’s how you can create the shift from crazy to calm - by making regular deposits into your Vitality Bank on both a business and a personal level.

ADDING VALUE • Drink plenty of water - ensure you have filtered water in meetings, in a stainless steel bottle on your desk

(avoid plastic and go for a re-usable version) Move daily - 1% if your day is just 14.4 mins - at the very least commit that time to something that is focused on your health and fitness - the WakeUpWorkout, a brisk walk before you have a shower and head to work, an express stretch session, 15mins cardio on the cycle at the gym, a jog around the block if you’re travelling for work. Throw out the old excuse of needing an hour and plan 15 minutes DAILY on your cardio and muscular health. The results WILL surprise you. Consistency is the key to success. Manage your calendar well to create space, allow creativity and rejuvenation on a daily basis - do this by planning your winning week religiously - you need to create the week you want or you’ll get the one you’re given Re-ignite a positive mindset. A fresh perspective is essential in leading by example, encouraging innovation, creativity and leadership. Pause before you answer or rush into problem solving, are you surrounding yourself with the right people and are you giving back and sharing your knowledge. These things all contribute to creating a culture of clear decision making and teamwork. Eating healthily - it’s actually the most important element for anyone with a demanding schedule. As an entrepreneur or business leader you GLOSS JUNE 2015 53


dinner with friends? Then make sure this is not just out of habit but because you really enjoy their company.

WE KNOW ALL OF THIS INFORMATION SO WHY DON’T WE DO IT? Often the biggest barrier to your complete success is yourself. You need to run your body and personal life much like you do your business. Avoid the same stories of being too busy and tired and make the time to turn things need to think of yourself as somewhat around. If your why is strong enough of an athlete. Mental agility, physical nothing can stand in the way. Put time stamina and reduced stress levels are and energy into planning your week all vital in a fast paced environment. where all elements are integrated into Quality food choices, limiting alcohol one agenda - after all you work hard and treating your body with respect to create freedom to spend time in the will ensure you can not only sustain way you want, why not start scheduling the pace but have enough energy to it in now? think about next projects, be creative and enjoy the journey. Good nutrition EACH SUNDAY PLAN IN reduces the risk of long term diseases, THE FOLLOWING - IT’S heart conditions and keeping blood NOT A DETAILED WORK IN pressure in check. No excuses. The PROGRESS SHEET, BUT TOP goal is for 75% of your diet to be from fresh food - as close as possible to its LINE ACTIVITIES YOU NEED TO HAPPEN TO CREATE THE WEEK natural source. YOU WANT. • Choose who you spend your time with - focus on those that you love, those that inspire you, encourage 1. Health and wellbeing: schedule you or people who follow your same this IN ADVANCE (book a social drive and energy. Combine your appointment with fitness to make workouts with a social engagement sure you stick to the time) that will enable you to chat creative business ideas and still get health and 2. Admin and Productivity: plan wellbeing ticked off the list. Planning time for personal finance as well 54

GLOSS JUNE 2015


as business finance and goals, making plans for creating and longer term planning is not a once a year occurrence. Are you working towards your big picture planning financially on a weekly basis. Being in control of this reduces stress levels and helps your body function in a more balanced manner. We are what we think. 3. Friends and Family: booking time in for school runs, events and time at home is important. Also, consider who you want to connect with in terms of friends. Time is a precious commodity so use it wisely. It’s OK to say no. Plan your time - don’t let someone else run your agenda.

with your team. The more successful you get the more demands are made on your time so focus on one giving back moment a week rather than trying to be all things for all people. I’ve included the Vitality Circle of Life, 5 ELEMENTS OF THE WINNING WEEK and the Vitality Bank (TM) Balance Sheet PDFs in a free download link for you. Just click on www. thevitalitycoach.com.au/GLOSSJUNE to get the trio of PDF worksheets.

4. ME Time: this time for yourself - whether it’s study, meditation, personal time out reading or planning a holiday - should be scheduled in like anything else. In order to be our personal best we need to DO our personal best. Be frank, Not sure how to get started? You can clear and allocate moments in the always hit reply in the email when you day you can calibrate and allow space receive your PDFs and I will personally for mental growth as well. respond. 5. Giving Back: what can you do this week that contributes to others? Do you have a mentoring role that you need to check up on, can you do something for your parents or siblings or a charity you support. Keep it simple and choose one task a week that’s dedicated to giving back. Even if it sharing knowledge

Enjoy Mojo Making this June! It’s never too late to start bringing personal and business vitality to life.

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“A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure”

Henry Kissinger

GLOSS JUNE 2015 57


NEWS AND REVIEWS

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Brilliant (and brave) stuff. GLOSS JUNE 2015 59


O

nce upon a time, in a far off land, there was a reasonably well-known writer and editor, who may or may not go by the pseudonym of Lois Lane.

LOIS LANE LIVES: THE COWARDLY LION, THE WITCH, AND A VERY LARGE WARDROBE Kate Matheson 60

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It could be touted that by writing under said pseudonym she was displaying a slight lack of courage to start with; but in fact it’s a tribute to the gutsy go-get’em attitude of the original LL that inspired this writer a long time ago, and is in fact one of the reasons she is writing professionally today, so boo sucks to this malarkey. However. It cannot be denied that at this present moment in time, Mrs Lane-Kent is feeling a distinct lack of... what would be the right word for it, she ponders, busily looking up her handy Googlesaurus. Pluck? Bravery? Spirit? Valour? Nerve? Daring? Audacity? If you put these in a quiz and had the option of ‘currently lacking courage, or all of the above, and is at this present moment hiding behind the doona covers in the linen closet’ You would be pretty much spot on. I like to think that on a day to day basis, this Girl Reporter doesn’t lack a bit of grit and derring-do. When it comes to standing up for others, I am usually busy making sure nobody hurts my friends, relatives, cat, or the bloke who just happened to wander past when I was


on my latest crusade against the forces of darkness (or the Kardashians - same, same, really).

to bugger off back to Rivendell. I think you’re a really good sort. Whaddaya reckon?’

There are a few things that tend to defeat me on a momentary basis though, and one of them is unexpected physical illness, when for once, it looked as if the wicked witch had naffed off for a while to set her flying monkeys on some other poor sod.

This is when the quote from To Kill A Mockingbird stops being words on a page - not that this book has ever been just that for me - and becomes something of a mantra.

To see through a challenge that is phenomenally hard, and you have faced It’s tempting to not only clamber into the before - knowing what it feels like, and linen cupboard, but to try the wardrobe the effect it has on you - is real courage. instead and see if there really is a magical You begin, and you see it through no

“I WANTED YOU TO SEE WHAT REAL COURAGE IS, INSTEAD OF GETTING THE IDEA THAT COURAGE IS A MAN WITH A GUN IN HIS HAND. IT’S WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’RE LICKED BEFORE YOU BEGIN, BUT YOU BEGIN ANYWAY AND SEE IT THROUGH NO MATTER WHAT.” - ATTICUS FINCH, TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD

land on the other side, where perhaps the opportunity to either a. sit around and eat Turkish Delight all day, or b. defeat a White Witch and be crowned Queen Lois The Awesome are on the table as options. And obviously, there is no pain or craptacular disease to contend with. Unfortunately though, I think my chances of reaching said magical land are about as likely as Aragorn popping his head in and saying ‘hi love, Arwen is really giving me the pip, so I got her

matter what. It may not necessarily be because you, Lois Lane, feel like staying the distance. You may be tired as hell. But there are several other members of the Daily Planet who might not be able to run the paper - or the world - without you, and may in fact miss you. Just a little bit. And if you think of it like that... Then perhaps - just perhaps - the wardrobe can wait for another day. GLOSS JUNE 2015 61


SPEAK BRAVELY, YOUR VOICE NEEDS TO BE HEARD. An exclusive excerpt from BRAVE: 50 Everyday Acts of Courage to Thrive in Work, Love and Life by Margie Warrell 62

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Your conversations are powerful. They hold the power to grow influence and trust, or to weaken it. They can open doors of opportunity and possibility or quickly close them. Conversations can trigger family feuds that last for decades. They can also heal old wounds and pave new pathways to peace: in our homes, communities and throughout the world.

courageous. After completing his tours of duty he was assigned to a senior administrative post at the Pentagon. It was there that he found himself needing to build a whole new type of courage: ‘conversational courage’. Though he’d excelled at executing the orders of his superiors, he struggled when speaking up to challenge them

IT WAS THERE THAT HE FOUND HIMSELF NEEDING TO BUILD A WHOLE NEW TYPE OF COURAGE: ‘CONVERSATIONAL COURAGE’.

Indeed, the words you speak can make a profound and lasting impact on those around you — for better or worse.

and when giving candid feedback — two skills essential to excelling in his new role.

A few years back while I was living in Washington DC, I had the opportunity of working with a colonel in the US military. He’d done multiple tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, leading numerous missions that had required putting his life on the line. It’s fair to say he fit the bill when it came to being

BEING BRAVE IN YOUR CONVERSATIONS CAN BE JUST AS SCARY AS BEING BRAVE ON THE BATTLEFIELD. GLOSS JUNE 2015 63


His situation highlights the reality of courage: that being brave extends far beyond heroic actions on the battlefield. In fact, most of the time being brave is far less dramatic, far more mundane and easier to avoid without appearing cowardly. It requires us not to confront an external enemy, but to confront the

THE MOST IMPORTANT CONVERSATIONS ARE OFTEN THE MOST DIFFICULT. Harnessing the power of conversation in your work, your relationships

HARNESSING THE POWER OF CONVERSATION IN YOUR WORK, YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AND YOUR LIFE ALL BOILS DOWN TO YOUR WILLINGNESS TO PARK YOUR PRIDE AND STEP OUTSIDE YOUR CONVERSATIONAL COMFORT ZONE.

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enemy within ourselves — our fear, our ego and our insecurity — which drives us to fit in and to preserve the image we want others to see.

and your life all boils down to your willingness to park your pride and step outside your conversational comfort zone.

Nowhere is this more relevant than in how we connect and communicate with those around us. Not just about the really big issues, but about the everyday small ones that can slowly compound, fester away and ultimately derail our relationships, careers and lives.

As simple as it sounds, many people struggle to say what they think, to share how they feel, to reveal where they face difficulty and to ask for what they need. Which is why speaking truthfully is one of the most courageous things you can ever do. It’s also one of the most important because the health

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of your relationships, your career and your heart depend on it.

marriage.

While addressing sensitive issues — It takes courage to step out of your where emotions can run high and conversational comfort zone — to speak sensitivities deep — may never be up and give voice to the things that easy, the price you pay for avoiding an truly matter to you. It takes courage to uncomfortable conversation far exceeds make a stand for yourself or for those the discomfort you feel in having it. who can’t speak for themselves. And it takes courage to say things that will WHAT ISN’T TALKED OUT make you vulnerable to judgement, rejection or disappointing people you GETS ACTED OUT care for. Issues that aren’t put on the table for It’s why so many people choose to stay open discussion and debate, but left to silent: their fear of speaking up about fester, always find a way of expressing what weighs them down exceeds their themselves. It’s rarely constructive. commitment to changing it. More often, issues that aren’t talked Too often we choose the certainty of an out end up being acted out as snide issue remaining unaddressed because remarks, subtle innuendos, passive we’re afraid of the possibility of an aggression, manipulation or the ‘silent awkward conversation. Perhaps you’ve treatment’. ‘No big deal’, we tell walked that path yourself — choosing ourselves, ‘everyone does it’. But over to step around an issue or pretend time, the lack of oxygen turns petty everything is fine when in fact you’re grumbles into major grievances. feeling upset, alone, hurt, frustrated, resentful or outright angry. If so, you People walk out of their jobs or their aren’t alone. marriages. Or, short of physically leaving, they emotionally and mentally ‘Oh, I could never do that,’ Vanessa check out. It exacts a steep toll on their said to me when I suggested that she performance and relationships, as well speak to her boss about how she felt she as their happiness and health. was constantly being passed over for promotional opportunities. Medical research has shown a higher incidence of heart disease and other ‘We don’t have those kinds of serious conditions in people who have conversations,’ Debbie confided after felt resentment for extended periods of I suggested she speak to her husband time. about how isolated she felt in her GLOSS JUNE 2015 65


7 KEYS TO A COURAGEOUS CONVERSATION

on the heart. So begin by clarifying your highest intention for the other person, for yourself and for those your relationship impacts.

Never underestimate the impact of a courageous conversation. When you decide to put issues on the table (however uncomfortable that may feel) — to share how you feel with dignity, respect and a genuine intention to

When you enter a conversation — not to prove you’re right or to make someone else wrong, but to create a better outcome for all — your words land differently from when your pride, anger or ego are running the show.

EMOTIONS ARE HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS, SO WHEN SOMEONE IS ACTING SMALLMINDED OR PETULANT, MEAN OR JUST OUTRIGHT RUDE, RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO RESPOND IN KIND.

improve a situation — you’ll find that you not only build more trusting and rewarding relationships, but that you grow your influence and, with it, your confidence to address other issues that arise in the future.

1. START WITH HEART What comes from the heart lands 66

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2. FIND THE COMMON GROUND While you may want something different from someone else, if you keep zooming up, there will be things that you both want and concerns you both share. Speak from that place: from a mutual goal or concern you both want and care about. For example,


‘I know we both care about making this [project, marriage, team] work and want to feel [valued, supported, respected] in it’.

3. EXPRESS YOUR OPINION AS JUST THAT When you express your opinion as though it’s the one and only truth, you’re guaranteed to get others offside. Rather, express your perspective as just that — your perspective — and then share how it makes you feel using ‘I’ statements. Feelings are never wrong or right; they just are. Doing so removes the judgement so the other person doesn’t feel you’re making them wrong or belittling their opinion (which is always counterproductive). For example, ‘I feel undervalued and embarrassed when I’m cut off midsentence in front of others’ will be heard and responded to differently from saying, ‘You don’t value me and always embarrass me’. One shares; the other accuses.

4. DISTINGUISH THE PERSON FROM THE BEHAVIOUR If you’re unhappy about what someone has done or failed to do, be careful to disentangle who they are from what they’ve done.

Someone may have acted thoughtlessly, but by labelling them as thoughtless, careless or cavalier you imply they can’t be any other way. Instead of boxing people in, use language in ways that leave open the possibility for positive change.

5. ACT BIG WHEN OTHERS ACT SMALL Emotions are highly contagious, so when someone is acting small-minded or petulant, mean or just outright rude, resist the temptation to respond in kind. Hold the high ground and stay calm, even if they’re getting upset or throwing accusations. No matter who it is, what they did or how strongly you hold them in the wrong (because, damn it, they are!), always act with the character, courage and calmness they may be lacking. It’s rarely easy to swallow, but it’s those people who annoy and upset you the most who have the most to teach you.

6. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOUR BODY IS SAYING Your way of being communicates far more loudly than your words. So be mindful of how you’re holding yourself, your tone of voice and facial expressions. You may not be aware of these, but the person you’re speaking to is. GLOSS JUNE 2015 67


POET THOMAS FULLER WROTE, ‘ALL THINGS ARE DIFFICULT BEFORE THEY ARE EASY’. AND SO IT IS WITH TALKING ABOUT ISSUES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL INTENSELY UNCOMFORTABLE.

7. FOCUS FORWARD It’s easy to get pulled into ‘who shoulda-woulda-coulda’ conversations, stone throwing and name-calling. But to what end? Keep your conversations future focused. How would you like things to be in the future? What needs to start happening? What needs to stop? Be as specific as you can. In the interim, you may simply have to agree to stay in dialogue and navigate the best path forward. You succeed or fail one conversation at a time. My colonel friend’s experience showed that engaging in conversations that require us to lay our vulnerability on the line can sometimes feel every 68

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bit as dangerous as laying our life on the line. Even when, intellectually, we know it’s not! Which is why you need to trust in yourself that if there’s something you genuinely want to say, chances are there’s someone who genuinely needs to hear it. Your conversations have the power not just to change lives, but to change history — starting with your own.

DON’T WAIT TO OOZE CONFIDENCE BEFORE YOU SHARE WHAT’S WEIGHING YOU DOWN.


Poet Thomas Fuller wrote, ‘All things are difficult before they are easy’. And so it is with talking about issues that make you feel intensely uncomfortable. While I don’t know what conversations you need to have right now, I do know that you have the ability to speak up about any issue with any person at any time. You may not have mustered up the courage until now or mastered the skill, but you have within you the ability to do both. You just need practice. So don’t wait until you have the selfconfidence of Bill Clinton or the eloquence of Oprah before you step courageously into conversations about the things that matter most. Take a deep breath, then open your mouth and share your truth. In the end, it’s no more or less difficult than that. What’s going on in your life that’s calling for you to engage in a courageous conversation? What’s the cost of not addressing it? If you were going to be really brave today, what would you share?

Get clear about your highest intentions for yourself and others; take a deep breath, then speak from your heart. It will make all the difference. MARGIE WARRELL is a thought leader in human potential and passionate about helping people live and lead more bravely. Margie has learnt a lot about courage and overcoming adversity since growing up the oldest of seven children on a dairy farm in rural Australia. Today she draws on her background in business, psychology & coaching to leadership, communication and courage-building programs to organizations worldwide. A mother of four noisy children and avid adventure traveller, she is also a Forbes Columnist and best-selling author of two other books: Find Your Courage and Stop Playing Safe. She is also a regular media contributor with leading media.

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