FamilyLife - March 2016

Coastal Dishes in P.E.I.

10 inspiring women

Kids Savings

FamilyLife Welcome Home

March 2016

March Contents

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ADVICE

ORGANIZE

FOOD

ON THE COVER

17 Better Balance Screen Time

37 Off the shore

73 Coastal Views

Photography by Roberto Caruso

23 Tips for Helping with Homework

FEATURES

IN EVERY ISSUE

27 Protecting Your Family's Medical Information 32 Kids and Money

59 10 remarkable women share the meaning of real beauty

14 Editor's Letter 86 Last Look

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FamilyLife EDITOR IN-CHIEF Pamela Hayford CREATIVE DIRECTOR Brendan Fisher MANAGING EDITOR Day Helesic FOOD DIRECTOR Annabelle Waugh FASHION & BEAUTY DIRECTOR Julia McEwen HOME & GARDEN DIRECTOR Sarah Gunn TEST KITCHEN SENIOR FOOD SPECIALIST Irene Fong FOOD SPECIALISTS Amanda Barnier, Jennifer Bartoli, Gilean Watts INTERN Rebecca Fallowield ART DEPUTY ART DIRECTOR Lena Diaz ASSOCIATE ART DIRECTOR Sarah Big Canoe CONTRIBUTING ART DIRECTOR Leanne Gilbert PRODUCTION SPECIALIST Genevieve Pizzale EDITORIAL SENIOR FEATURES EDITOR Megan Howard FEATURES EDITOR Mary Levitski COPY EDITORS Debbie Madsen Villamere, Stephanie Zolis EDITORIAL ASSISTANTS Marianne Davidson, Sarah Dziedzic HOME & GARDEN HOME & STYLE DIRECTOR Ann Marie Favot DESIGN EDITOR Morgan Lindsay ADVERTISING SALES, TORONTO GENERAL SALES MANAGER, CONSUMER PUBLICATIONS Kelly Whitelock SENIOR SOLUTIONS DIRECTOR, DIGITAL Myra Thompson NATIONAL SALES DIRECTORS Andrea McBride, Anna Vecera Marto ADVERTISING COORDINATION MANAGER Janice Clarke NATIONAL SALES REPRESENTATIVES Paul Cummins, Daciano da Ponte, Jillian Dann-Macerollo (Team Lead), Cathy Ellis, Gary Forshaw, Kathleen Irish, Joanne Landry, Delainie Marin, Lennie Morton, Erin Suckling, Vanessa Watson, Lindsay Weir (on leave) DIGITAL NATIONAL SALES REPRESENTATIVES Crystal Falls, Akta Sharma, Alex Vaccher SALES ASSOCIATE Patricia Mixemong

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Editor's Letter

Spring Trip Back during my teaching years, I worked several summers as an assistant director for a local summer day camp. It was loads of work but also tons of fun.

Part of the fun was seeing campers return year after year, along with staff and assistants. I also enjoyed the environment. Camp has a very laid-back, relaxed feel to it. It was a treat to get to work with the kids and see them outside of school.

The March issue is our annual summer camp issue.

And while you may look outside and think, “Summer is a LONG way off,” you’ll blink and summer will have arrived! I know from experience that all of these fabulous camps listed in our 20-plus-page guide have been working for months to plan a great experience for kids. Whether you’re looking for a day camp, overnight camp, specialized camp, sport camp, etc., we have you covered. So grab a cup of coffee and your kids and enjoy leafing through the camp guide together and planning out the best summer ever!

Do you have spring break plans? We typically don’t travel over spring break, but that doesn’t mean we have to miss out on the fun! If you are staying in for your break this year, we’ve got some terrific ideas for you. And our calendar has lots of great events to keep you busy the entire break.

Happy spring!

Pamela Hayford Editor In-Chief

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Advice

Better Balance Screen Time Simple Tips for a Happier Family

By CHRISTA MELNYK HINES

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Advice With mobile devices readily available anywhere and everywhere, striking a healthy balance between online and in-person interaction is difficult for today’s families. How do we find a happy medium between quality family time and the siren song the pixelated forest of apps, games and social media generates?

According to Common Sense Media, mobile media use among children ages 0 to 8 years has doubled from 38 percent to 72 percent since 2011. On average, kids spend a little more than an hour a day on the devices, downloading apps, playing games and watching videos.

“Perhaps my biggest concern about the overuse of technology in families is ‘opportunity costs,’ which is an economic term that means that time spent in front of a screen is time not spent engaging in healthier and more meaningful activities such as family time, exercise, faith, culture, education, etc.,” says Dr. Jim Taylor, psychologist and author of Raising Generation Tech.

Find your middle ground.

Overexposure to media can lead to poor school performance, obesity, sleep deprivation and invasions of privacy. But banning kids from technology can effectively shut down conversations about appropriate media use, spurring kids to sneak around, creating accounts and playing games on friends’ devices where you have no oversight.

“Technology use becomes unhealthy when it hurts physical or mental health, relationships, school work or healthy avocations like sports, music and charity,” Taylor says. “The bottom line is that technology should be the exception and not the rule: a tool, not a toy.”

Use time wisely.

Make the most out of the time your child engages with technology by choosing educational apps and games.

Although kids may be attracted to games featuring casino-like sounds and colors, these weren’t developed for kids and they can be addictive.

“It’s important that you dictate the way your child goes down the path of gaming. I’m not a big fan of allowing kids free rein of time wasters because that’s just sunken time,” says David Lord, CEO of JumpStart, a gaming company that produces learning games for kids like the popular MathBlaster app and DreamWorks’ School of Dragons, a science game based on the movie How to Train Your Dragon.

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Be a healthy role model.

A 2012 Google study found that 90 percent of us engage in multiple screens at once, like watching television while also scrolling through a smartphone. Kids will follow your lead when it comes to how you interact with electronics.

Become conscious of how much you use technology and whether you engage with technology in a healthy way.

Designate tech-free spaces.

Silence or put away electronics during homework and chore time and during family-oriented activities. Meals in particular present a rich opportunity to connect with your kids without electronic distractions.

“We no longer plant vegetables or quilt on the front porch together, so mealtime is one of the few times of the day when a family connects with one another,” says Dr. Anne Fishel, author of Home for Dinner: Mixing Food, Fun and Conversation for a Happier Family and Healthier Kids. “If family members are distracted by checking their phones and other screens, they miss out on the chance to really focus on each other and convey that essential message: ‘You come first.’”

Studies find that families who eat dinner together experience lower rates of substance abuse, depression and teen pregnancy. Kids who regularly eat dinner with their families are also more likely to have higher selfesteem, better grades and even stronger vocabularies.

Set limits.

“Cell phones, computers, the Internet and tablets are not rights––they are privileges. And like any privileges they need parameters and rules for their use,” says Dr. Michael Osit, a child psychologist and author of Generation Text: Raising Well-Adjusted Kids in the Age of Instant Everything.

“Be firm with time limits and content limits.”

If you have trouble keeping track of how much time your kids spend playing video or computer games, set a timer.

“Only one hour a day or only after other important priorities have been fulfilled, like homework and household chores,” Taylor advises.

The lights and sounds electronic devices make can interfere with quality sleep. Collect your kids’ phones and electronic devices at bedtime and plug them into a main charging station in your home.

Advice Plan ahead.

Decide when, where and for how long you will allow computer time––mobile or otherwise––during the week.

Also consider the amount of television your family watches. Plan which TV shows your children can view during the week to avoid mindlessly turning to television whenever boredom sets in. Viewing family-oriented shows together can invite conversation opportunities like “What would you do if something like that happened to you or one of your friends?”

To prepare for unplugged times, meet as a family to come up with alternate activities you and your kids can enjoy that aren’t screen-related. For example, go on a family walk, play board games, toss the football, ride bikes, build, read, cook, draw or explore your community.

Engage with technology together. According to researchers at Arizona State University, gaming together offers teachable moments to share values and explore creative problem solving.

“Parents miss a huge opportunity when they walk away from playing video games with their kids. Many video games are meant to be shared and can teach young people about science, literacy and problem solving,” says researcher Elisabeth Hayes, Delbert & Jewell Lewis Chair in Reading & Literacy and professor in Arizona State University’s Mary Lou Fulton Teachers College.

Use technology together in other ways to strengthen communication skills and creativity. Invite your child to Facetime or Skype with grandparents. Show her how to start a private blog about one of her favorite subjects.

Take digital photos together and collaborate on a photo book or a calendar.

By taking a proactive, balanced approach to technology with boundaries firmly in place, you can focus on using technology to complement rather than control your life while growing closer and happier as a family.

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Advice

Tips for Helping with Homework

By JESSICA SAMUEL

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Advice School is out for the day, you’re able to leave work on time and dinner is all planned and ready to go. The kids are streaming in, and everything seems to be going perfectly.

So what is missing here? Homework!

You want to make sure it gets done, but also done the right way. Oh, what to do, what to do?

Pay close attention—here are some keys to success!

Set up a homework-friendly work environment.

Schedule a regular study time in a cool, calm place filled with supplies. If your kids have the materials to be successful, that’s one less reason they might not finish their homework. Always have paper, pens and pencils ready to go.

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2 Watch for signs of frustration.

It’s so easy to get caught up in whether the assignment gets finished or pushed to the side. But be conscious of the student—your child—and whether he is showing signs of discomfort or frustration. If he is, have him take a second to relieve a little stress. Deep breaths usually work.

Inhale relief and exhale stress. Have him step completely out of the work environment and back into it when he’s ready. You want to make sure the assignment gets completed, but you also want to make sure your child is learning along the way. Stress free.

Eliminate or keep distractions to a minimum.

Things like the television, loud music and cell phones are okay for parties or social gatherings, but not so much for an effective homework environment. Be mindful of what you allow in a place of focus. If you allow distractions to happen, you’ll only blame yourself later. Trust me.

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Motivate, Supervise and Praise Let your children know you care. Ask about quizzes and upcoming tests. Don’t hover over them while they do their homework, but make sure you’re available to answer or walk through any difficult questions they may have.

Periodically check in to make sure the work gets finished.

Let them know all the great things that come from finding out the answers themselves. Last but not least, PRAISE them! Encouragement goes a long way. If kids know they’re doing something wonderful, odds are they’ll repeat it.

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Don’t do it for them.

Being suckered into doing homework isn’t as crazy as it may sound. Kids are tricky, and parents don’t like to see their children struggle. Especially if you can be their relief.

But guiding them and completely taking over are two completely different things. Just make sure you let them do the work. If you do all the work, what exactly are they learning?

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Advice

Protecting Your Family's Medical Information

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Advice Health information is valuable. Your doctors need swift and easy access if they are going to provide effective treatment, especially in an emergency. But health data also has value to researchers and advertisers, and medical financial information is attractive to criminals who can use it to steal medications, equipment and services.

Sign up for online accounts.

Many doctors and pharmacies provide patients with password protected access to personal medical files. Not only is this an easy way to check the accuracy of records, but it also keeps anyone else from setting up an account under your name.

Now that medical records are being kept electronically, they can more easily be misappropriated. Health care providers and insurers have been hacked, creating worries about privacy, as well financial vulnerability. Medical companies that get access to health information may bombard you or your child with advertising for treatments that you don’t want or need. A thief who gets access to insurance information can ruin your credit and max out your benefits. Just as worrisome, a person who accesses health services under the name of a family member may have his information entered into the medical record, creating confusion that can have serious consequences.

Correct misinformation. Fraudulent medical claims can introduce inaccurate information into medical records. If you become aware of errors in your medical files, ask that they be corrected. Keep in mind that the medical provider who created the record has responsibility for changing it but won’t necessarily notify any other providers who may have received the information. Follow up with each of them to be sure records are accurate.

Protecting your family from these problems requires vigilance. Get into the habit of following these rules: Study statements. Check provider names, dates of service and the type of service provided. Does anything look unfamiliar? Were you billed for the same thing twice?

If you see a mistake, report the problem as soon as possible.

Check EOBs. An Explanation of Benefits from your insurance company usually says “This is not a bill” at the top. That’s not a reason to ignore it. Match EOBs to statements from medical providers. If there are any discrepancies, contact your insurance company immediately. An inaccurate EOB may be your first indicator that someone else is using your insurance information.

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Set Up Personal Health Records.

Having your own records makes it easier if you need to change health care providers. MyPHR.com has an extensive list of record-keeping apps and programs, as well as paper forms that can be downloaded. Regardless of format, you’ll want to record the following information for each family member: Dates of immunizations Lab results, including blood type Allergies and sensitivities to medications, foods and materials Prescribed medications, including dosages Treatment for chronic conditions such as asthma Treatment for unusual conditions, including hospitalization or ER visits Because genetic history is likely to become more important in your child’s lifetime, you may want to use the same file to record medical conditions of ancestors and other family members as you learn about them.

Advice Keep records safe.

Use a password to protect health records stored online.

Store paper records in a safe place—a locked filing cabinet is ideal. Shred outdated health insurance forms, prescription receipts, physician statements and even the labels from prescription bottles.

Guard your numbers. Treat your insurance card as carefully as your credit card. If you lose it, call the insurance company immediately. Avoid putting social security numbers on health information forms. Numbers for children are especially desirable to thieves because you may not detect a problem until the child applies for a driver’s license. If forms from medical providers or, for that matter, schools or sports teams ask for social security numbers, leave the space blank. Don’t share medical or insurance information on the phone unless you initiated the contact. Don’t provide it in response to email.

Be smart online. Thanks to HIPAA, medical providers must take privacy seriously. But those rules don’t apply to social media, message boards or companies that sell wearable medical devices. Think carefully about sharing health information online. You may want to restrict it to an inner circle of family and close friends. Consider using a nickname if you decide to share health information in online support groups or forums. Think carefully about equipping children with any kind of wearable medical device—even a pedometer—that shares or aggregates health data.

Be skeptical about free. Medical identity thieves try to trick people into revealing sensitive medical information by offering free products and services. Drug companies and other suppliers set up free forums to harvest information that may be useful in marketing. Free medical apps may collect information that is sold to advertisers. Before accepting a deal that seems too good to be true, read the fine print—especially the privacy policy.

If, despite all these precautions, you suspect someone has stolen the medical identity of a family member, act swiftly, following the steps outlined at IdentityTheft.gov/#whatto-do-right-away. You also can request an Accounting of Disclosures, a record that details when, what, to whom and why your medical information was shared by your provider. Even if you don’t suspect medical fraud, you may want to request a disclosure report, as well as reports from the three major credit agencies (AnnualCreditReport.com). By law, you are entitled to a free copy of each of these reports each year, and you may sleep better at night if you know they’ve given your family a clean bill of health.

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Advice

Kids and Money Three Things to Consider When Your Little Ones Receive $$$

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Advice Kids know what money is at a very young age but don’t necessarily understand what it means or what it can do. Throughout the year, your children may receive money for various reasons. They may receive cash for birthdays, holidays, baptisms and graduations (seems like the average kid goes through at least six graduations by the time he is 18). Perhaps you have a little entrepreneur on your hands who has created a lawn mowing business, is a dog walking extraordinaire or takes care of the neighborhood children on Friday nights. What should kids do with that cash? Here are a few tips when dealing with children and money:

Let them make the final decision.

Everyone likes to get new things and do enjoyable activities. Help your child make a wish list of all the items he would like to purchase or events he would like to attend that cost money. Talk him through the details of what each item or event actually costs and how he would like to prioritize the items. Help him weigh the options and offer your advice, but let him make the final decision. This process helps children learn from their mistakes or, conversely, gives them a sense of accomplishment from making a wise choice. If they blow all of their hard-earned funds on toys that break down or are quickly neglected or coveted shoes that rapidly fall “out of style,” children will (hopefully) learn a valuable lesson. Even if you think they are spending foolishly, bite your tongue and let them figure it out.

Teach Them Values.

If being charitable is important to you, use their income to help instill that value in your children. If you believe in giving 10 percent of your income to charity, explain that to your kids, help them calculate the percentage and let them choose where the funds will be donated. They will experience the joy of giving and feel very grown up doing it. Many people do not understand the “pay yourself first” saying. Help children determine a long-term financial goal (e.g., saving up for a bike, a laptop for college, a car or building an emergency fund) and have them allocate a certain percentage of their income to fund those goals BEFORE they can make any purchases with the money.

Many young adults today feel like they are financially ignorant because they never learned the basics about money management. Give your kids the tools they need to be financially aware, make wise decisions and be good financial stewards.

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Take Advantage of the Learning Opportunity.

Use the money as a teaching tool. Help your child create a budget by identifying how much money (or income) she has and how much of it she wants to spend on her list of desired items. Kids rarely look at price tags if they know someone else is paying the bill, but when it is their money, they realize only a finite amount exists and it should be spent wisely. Learning to manage money at an early age will help youngsters understand the consequences their actions, promote goal-setting and aid them in understanding the concept of self-control. You also could use this opportunity to educate your child about the stock market. Help her research a company she is familiar with (McDonalds, Apple, Disney, etc.) and have her determine which company she would like to invest in and why. Buy a share or two of stock and actively watch it together to help her understand market moves and develop a realistic view about investment returns.

Organize Off the shore Peek inside a luxurious oceanside house in West Vancouver, Steven and Renée Rechtschaffner first met on a ski hill when they were both pro skiers. Today their lives still revolve around the outdoors, which means their deck, backyard and views are important as the inside of their home.

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Anyone can park a house on the beach, but it takes a creative couple to skilfully blur the distinction between indoors and out and blend past with present. Renée and Steven Rechtschaffner moved into this 100-year-old cottage in West Vancouver just as their three children (Conor, Michaela and Luke) were becoming teenagers.

Counting themselves lucky for finding a rundown property that hadn’t been touched since the ’60s, but unable to afford renovations, they filled the house with Ping-Pong tables and video games. (Steven was a video game producer at the time and always had the hottest prerelease games.)

Both former professional skiers (Renée travelled the World Cup circuit for five years on the Canadian ski team and was number 2 in the world for combined skiing in 1981; Steven was a freestyle skier for the U.S. team), the couple shared a passion for outdoor activity. They would spend early mornings in the kayak, late evenings on the paddleboard and every sunny afternoon splashing in the waves. Ten years in, the constant cacophony of sleepovers and joyously shrieking teens drove them to build the “Bunker,” a quiet place to escape from their children. The couple constructed their master bedroom in a new 900square-foot wing of glass and concrete with massive, unobstructed views of the ocean. Renée knew she wanted a contrast of old and new, hard and soft, so she turned to her old high school chum Frances Zago, now an architect.

Together they designed a sculptural space that took its cues from the natural rock the house is built on. As functional as it is beautiful, their bedroom became their own private tree house where they could both observe and hide from the chaos of family life.

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Then, as the kids left for university one by one, Renée and Steven began to reclaim the rest of the house. While tearing away at their 1915 gem, the couple uncovered original features like rock walls under aging plaster and a stone fireplace complete with thick black grout. To contrast the historic pieces, they added modern elements like concrete floors and countertops in the kitchen and as much glass as the house could hold to make the most of their waterfront location.

Through it all, Steven left Renée, a painter, to her own artistic devices, always supportive, never interfering with her vision. Now that the kids have moved out, Renée says, “it’s our turn to play in this house.”

Soften hard surfaces with luxurious touches The bedroom is the perfect place to play with texture. Concrete walls and white marble floors contrast nicely with sheer drapes and indulgent bedding (thick pillows, velvet, Mongolian wool and soft chenille throws). A chandelier overhead is a glittering focal point that reflects the sea beyond.

Bed, Inform Interiors. Bedding, Pisolino. Side table, Brent Comber. Chair, Livingspace.

Painting, Renée Lee Smith.

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Mismatched chairs make a dining room less formal Early in their married life, Renée couldn’t afford an expensive dining set (a young family and a house in need of major renovation were the priorities). Renée scoured yard sales and vintage shops for chairs, and years later this eclectic assortment of furniture still welcomes people to the table.

Painting, Renée Lee Smith.

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Mix it up Renée left the original fireplace intact and made it the focal point of the living room. To update the space, she chose a mix of modern furnishings combined with rustic wood and quirky accent pieces.

Coffee table, Sturdy. Sofa, Inform Interiors. Chair, lamp, Livingspace. Throw, 18 Karat.

Accent table, Brent Comber. Painting (above fireplace), Ross Penhall. Painting (in hallway), Janieta Eyre.

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Create a calm corner Renée loves the original heavy swing-chain windows, which lend a cottagey charm to the kitchen. The classic Saarinen tulip table and chairs add a sculptural element and a cozy place for the couple to enjoy their morning coffee.

Dining table and chairs, Livingspace.

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Play with cabinetry Symmetrical open shelving draws the eye and showcases Renée’s pottery collection.

Frosted glass is an unconventional choice and makes everyday dishes and glassware look surprisingly pretty.

Globe light, Inform Interiors. Cabinetry, SnaideroUSA. oven, Bosch.

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Make a door a work of art Framing a garden with glass doors creates a seamless transition between inside and out. Renée spent years landscaping the rocky outcrop her house is built on, so when she renovated her entrance she used a large sheet of glass to show off the stunning setting.

Paintings, Derek Root. Doors, Imperial Glass, 604-985-7622. Bench, Avant Gardener.

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Indulge your creative side After Renée’s three children had grown and moved out, she converted their basement playroom into an artist’s studio. A kitchen trolley houses her art supplies, and the wall has become her mood board.

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Bring the indoors out Renée and Steven created a sensational deck that is their outdoor oasis. Several seating areas with natural materials and decor elements (including a dramatic centrepiece of shells and eye-catching driftwood sculptures) are set against a backdrop of sea and sky. The outdoor shower and a short climb down to the beach give the home a perpetual vacation vibe.

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“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.”

– Margaret Atwood

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10 remarkable women share the meaning of real beauty Clockwise from top: Braanna Kunz, Angela Jackson, Robin Konstantopoulos, Jennifer Slay, Marla Zapach, Lauren Perrier Picture of confidence New research from Dove reveals that more than 80 percent of women feel uncomfortable having their photo taken. When we heard this alarming stat, we joined forces with Dove on a campaign to celebrate real beauty — and we challenged women to share unretouched, unfiltered pictures of themselves.

Thousands of you sent us your photos and told us your stories. We captured 10 of these powerful, intensely personal journeys here. It’s nothing short of an amazing read, so sit down, dig in and let yourself feel inspired. (Warning: Tissues may be required!)

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Amarit Grewal Age 30, Surrey, B.C., certified dental assistant "It's not the quality of the picture. It's the message the person in the photograph is sending."

My five-year-old son walked into the washroom while I was putting on my makeup and asked, “Why do you wear colours on your face?” I responded, “Mommy likes it; it makes her feel pretty.” He said, “Well, I like it better when you don’t wear makeup, because you look really pretty, just like my mommy.” Children don’t care what you look like on the outside. If my son tells me I’m beautiful without makeup, why would I disagree? Now that I’m a mother, I find my children give me more confidence than anyone else. They love me regardless of what I look like. When an innocent child wants nothing more from you than just you, how can you not be beautiful? Children see your heart. The older I get, the more I love myself. Positive women who welcome aging surround me. I love having my picture taken, something I rarely did when I was younger. I wish I hadn’t dwelled on my looks so much. I wasted a great deal of time hating myself, wishing I looked different and blaming my appearance for my failures. Now, I realize this had nothing to do with my looks, but rather with how I negatively perceived myself. Had I been more confident, I would have carried myself much differently. I’d tell the teenage me, “Throw away the mirror and look at yourself through the eyes of others. Beauty isn’t about makeup, clothes or anything materialistic.

It’s about confidence. Be confident in every aspect of your life and you will be beautiful.”

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Jennifer Slay Age 39, London, Ont., child-protection worker, entrepreneur "The best pictures are when you can feel the mood of the people in them."

This moment, right now, is probably the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m not saying this to brag, but I have so much to offer and I’m blessed I can help others. As the co-founder of an image and styling company, I show people, especially women, how to release their inner diva — it’s incredibly important. Women are so powerful and have such a huge impact on those around them. When you feel beautiful, you are beautiful. Beauty is being yourself. I love getting older. I get wiser with age and I feel sexier than I did 10 years ago! I’ve learned how to help others appreciate their features that get better with age too, like curvy hips and laugh lines. They add character. I was 33 years old when I had my second baby and experienced the baby blues. I was going through difficulties financially, I’d gained weight and my mood was down. I just didn’t feel like myself.

Having a perfectionist-like attitude about myself, particularly when I’d screw up, took its toll. Now I accept that my good parts far outweigh the bad ones. Over the past couple of years, my husband and I have gone through tremendous trials together as well, but we’ve worked through them and now, we’re so much stronger. Learning to appreciate myself, and the people around me for who they are, is freeing. My kids are healthy and happy, my marriage is good and I count my blessings by focusing on what I have, rather than what I don’t have.

Marla Zapach Age 46, Nordegg, Alta., independent consultant, ecotourism entrepreneur "A photograph is beautiful when it captures more than a face or a scene and allows you to understand the essence of that split second, and see a glimpse of the the person's spirit."

I was in my mid-30s when I realized my face and body were changing and I was entering another phase of life. It was hard to imagine that I was going to lose the appearance of youth I’d always taken for granted. So when my first crow’s feet and laugh lines became apparent, I started to feel uncomfortable in front of the camera. It has taken me many years to understand that beauty can’t be produced or even defined. It’s something that comes from understanding who you are and how you positively affect those around you. My brother has Down Syndrome, and I see and feel the pain he experiences when people make hurtful comments and treat him disrespectfully. Like everyone else, he has rights and deserves to be loved and integrated into our lives and our communities. My most difficult moments are when I see the world making judgments based on outward appearances. Beauty is confidence. When I’m happy I actually glow; my pleasure is so visible it’s infectious! My happiest moments are when I am challenging myself and achieving my goals, and when I am simply being quiet, realizing how fortunate and blessed I truly am.

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Robin Konstantopoulos Age 39, Keswick, Ont., administrative assistant, independent fragrance director "Beauty is a soul that can smile. It's what's beneath, not on top of, the surface."

I've spent most of my life uncomfortable in front of the camera. To some extent, I still feel this way.

It’s paranoia, I guess, of having too many wrinkles and not being good, skinny or young enough.

Sadly, my self-worth is often determined by how I think others might see me. The hardest moment in my life was learning my son has severe autism.

Then I learned my second child, my daughter, is also autistic — the second-most difficult moment I’ve experienced. Their births were my happiest times, though. So was earning a free trip to Greece this year! I worked hard and now I get to have the honeymoon I never went on and the trip I’ve always dreamed of. I don’t mind aging, but I’m not enjoying the physical aspect of it. My daughter is only seven years old, but I tell her that her hair and skin colour will not determine the person she’ll become. Her actions will. Her brilliance and her incredible personality will make her outshine everyone else. I gain confidence when I have a great hair day or when my clothes feel a little less snug, when I don’t look so tired and feel so sleep deprived. I also gain confidence when I see my children achieving their goals and when I assist other parents to help their autistic children achieve their goals.

Leona Planko Finlayson

Richelle Greathouse

Age 42, Vancouver, full-time mom, part-time belly dance teacher and performer

Age 42, Charlottetown, social worker

"Even though my smile may be crooked. It's a part of me, and I love to smile. My eyes light up when I do, and I can say, a lot with just my eyes."

My friend said this and it has stuck with me: “If I have to choose between being in this body or not being here, I choose this body.” Aging is hard, it isn’t fun to feel aches and pains, but I’m grateful I get to be here to age. The consolation is wisdom, experience and the realization that the beauty you hold inside will shine through if you let it. I don’t feel comfortable posing for photos. It’s hard for me to feel natural. Ha! Maybe it’s because my mom always made us pose for the camera when we were kids. I love to look at photos, though. They document the different moments of our lives.

Choosing to follow my heart and do the right thing has been hard. Every day, I struggle with who I am and what I’m supposed to do. My heart tells me I’m on the right path, but my bank account tells me I could be wrong. There are days when I wonder when that battle will end. Knowing I love myself and that I am loved keeps my daily challenges in perspective. When I listen to my heart and follow it, it gives me confidence.

Remembering the day both of my boys were born always brings a smile to my face. There’s nothing like it. Giving birth is a gift and it’s pretty amazing.

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"When a picture makes me see life through another person's eyes. I feel very blessed."

Once, I had a professor tell me he never had to wonder what I was thinking, because he could read my face. My husband claims he’s still discovering my many facial expressions — they’re my best feature. I used to duck away when it was family-photo time. There was always something I disliked: a bad expression, dark circles, chipmunk cheeks. It wasn’t until my husband pointed out how much he loved what I considered to be bad photographs that I learned to look at myself in a less critical way. If I could tell my 13-year-old self anything, it would be, “So what if you are pale and have freckles? Love them; they’re a part of you.

Stop comparing yourself to others; it’s a yardstick you will never be satisfied with. Validation comes from within.” My 89-year-old grandmother says she still feels like a young woman. She radiates love and beauty. I want to be that woman when I’m her age. In 2007, I returned to school to pursue my dream of becoming a social worker, and it was like a hidden part of me began to bloom. Knowing I’m doing good things in my community and seeing positive change in others gives me the confidence to step outside of my comfort zone.

I’m privileged to work with what the world sometimes refers to as marginalized women.

These women have seen a lot of struggles, yet they are some of the most incredible people you will ever meet. The love and compassion they have for their friends, family and community is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Angela Jackson

Gail Azoria Shandro

Age 51, Vancouver, server, entrepreneur

Age 60, Calgary, retired nurse educator

"When I am genuinely joyful, you definitely know it.

My smile comes from my heart and I can't hide it.

Nor would I want to."

"No matter how classically pretty the person is, their picture is not beautiful unless I can see a smile of welcome, the openness of spirit and the light of humanity in their eyes."

You're either having a birthday or you're dead.

That’s how I feel about aging! The older I get, the more authentic I become, and I hope and expect this will continue. Plus, getting older means one day, fingers crossed, I’ll be a grandmother, and that’s something I’ve looked forward to since the birth of my son. A couple of years ago, I realized I love my son more than I love myself and what a huge gift this is. I would walk in front of a bus to save that kid and not think twice about it. Since I believe we’re on this earth to love and be loved, I’ve pretty much hit the jackpot when it comes to personal goals. It’s all gravy from here. Throughout my life, I’ve felt photographs are a gift — a moment in time with friends and family or somewhere you’ll never physically be again. It’s not about perfection; it’s about memories. There’s never been a time I’ve felt uncomfortable in front of the camera. Years ago, I reached a crossroads in my life and had to follow my heart and choose myself.

I couldn’t just be someone’s wife and someone’s mother anymore; I had to discover who I was. Even though the fallout from this decision was brutal for years, my son and I are thriving and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Beauty is holistic and originates from within us. A person who radiates joy, confidence and goodwill is an alluring person who draws others to them. That’s beautiful.

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I'm always the first person to line up in front of the camera. I love the memories pictures give you.

Three years ago, I had a transient ischemic attack (TIA, a mini-stroke), and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was getting old! I had to take all sorts of drugs. I felt vulnerable. When I looked in the mirror I saw sagging bits, a colour-drained face, jowls and a thick body. I felt ugly. Worse, I felt invisible. I’d always been attractive. Who was I now? No one looked at me anymore. After my TIA, there were a few hours when I couldn’t talk; I was paralyzed on my left side, and my brain was fuzzy.

Years before, I’d survived the tsunami in Thailand. I was so angry that this was what might kill me! But once I was able to walk and I knew I had no lasting, physical damage, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. Now, I stand up straight — it makes me look and feel more confident. I wear makeup when I leave the house. I’m active and I love my brand new, short, silver hair. When I was 13 years old, I was the pretty girl, and for a long time I let my other attributes go. Then, at 30, while pursuing my nursing degree, I discovered how exciting it could be to be the school leader, the smart girl. I would tell my younger self, “Find your musical or artistic talent and become the person people want to have at parties.”

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Lauren Perrier

Braanna Kunz

Age 27, Thunder Bay, Ont., emergency 911 dispatcher, communications operator

Age 32, Kelowna, B.C., owner and founder, Kunzy Kreations; social media manager

"When you capture a real smile, feelings and interactions, you can feel the emotions."

"Being beautiful is an attitude. As cliché as that may sound, you have to be beautiful on the inside to have it reflect on the outside."

Hands down, my best feature is my smile. It brightens my face. I don’t have perfect, straight teeth and I’ve never had braces, but I look natural.

I also love my legs because they are muscular and strong; I’m proud of what they can do. Beauty is difficult to define — kindness and personality play a big role. I’ve gone through phases when I didn’t feel beautiful. The first time was in high school. I didn’t have great skin, I hadn’t figured out how to tame my frizzy hair and I wasn’t comfortable in my body as it was changing. I thought I had to look like the popular girls. The most difficult moment was admitting I suffered from an eating disorder. I was trying to lose weight and I was making unhealthy choices. I was scared and unhappy, and I didn’t want to tell the people who cared about me because I didn’t want to hurt them. I felt like I let everyone down. In the end, having my parents’ support allowed me to start loving myself and to get healthy. Life is a journey. Sometimes I get so hung up on one small setback I forget I’m going to experience many in my life. When this happens, I remind myself to live in the moment. I feel pretty good about aging. I don’t have any grey hairs, yet, and I haven’t found one wrinkle, so maybe that will change. I believe in using natural products and limiting sun exposure. You can’t stop aging. The things that make you beautiful now will be the same things that make you beautiful through the aging process, so take care of them.

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The happiest moment in my life was when I got married. I was signing a contract beyond a marriage licence — I was marrying my best friend, a lifelong companion, an ally and a wonderful man to help me raise our daughter and my son. It completed our circle as a growing, loving family.

Finding out I was pregnant when I was 16 years old was my most difficult moment. I felt like my life was over. Little did I know, it was just the beginning of the most amazing chapter: being a mom. Looking back, it was a blessing in disguise and it has made me the person I am today. My daughter says my long hair is my most beautiful feature; that’s what’s important when you’re 11 years old! But I think it’s my smile — it comes from within and lights up my eyes. My kids give me confidence. They’re a reminder that I’m their biggest role model, and I want them to lead lives full of self-confidence and strength, even though sometimes they think I’m embarrassing. It’s sad to say goodbye to my youth, but at the same time aging shows I’ve survived and matured into a beautiful person. There is nothing more attractive than an older woman who has aged gracefully, naturally. I would tell my 13-year-old self, “These obstacles are going to pass and will make you a stronger and better person.” I think every teenager needs to know they have an amazing life ahead of them.

Food

Come on in!

This main includes some of the best seafood found along the coast of P.E.I. Photo, Roberto Caruso

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Coastal Views A close-knit family and their friends gather every summer at their P.E.I. home. Long hot days punctuated by cool dips in the Atlantic are capped off by leisurely memorable dinners with the best eats the East Coast has to offer.

Photo, Roberto Caruso

Cocktail hour Now all grown up, daughters Katie and Amy love nothing more than taking in the views from the back deck.

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Island living It was love at first sight for architects David and Liz Sisam when they came upon quaint Sea View, P.E.I., on a vacation nearly 30 years ago. “I spent a few hours driving around to find the most beautiful spot I could on the island,” says David. “Then I knocked on the farmer’s door and asked to buy some land.” Now the whole Sisam family (which includes their three children) spends most of July and August there every year at the house they designed and built, with the help of Montgomery Sisam Architects. It was important to the pair that they respect the island’s indigenous esthetics. As a result, they chose details inspired by the quiet simplicity of old farm buildings, like traditional steeply pitched roofs and cedar shingles. “We also positioned the footprint of the house to focus on the ocean views and beautiful patchwork farm fields instead of the other cottages in the area,” says David. Glass sliding doors throughout allow for unobstructed sightlines from the front of the cottage straight through to the red-sand beach, just a few steps away. And with a small courtyard of wild roses on the back deck and a row of yellow Adirondack chairs to settle into, it might just be the dreamiest spot on the whole island.

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Pick a massive table for big gettogethers Summer living means slowing down and enjoying meals with family and friends. A large rustic harvest table surrounded by simple chairs sits plenty of people and is fuss-free. Blue lanterns and a chandelier of candles keeps the mood intimate and charming.

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Stovetop clambake This main includes some of the best seafood found along the coast of P.E.I.

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Stack colourful dinnerware on open shelves Wood-lined walls with matching cabinetry are the perfect backdrop for a curated collection of bright and cheery jugs and pottery. Open shelving means even guests can easily find what they're looking for.

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Green onion biscuits with Old Bay butter Serve your clambake with a side of flaky biscuits spread with Old Bay butter.

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Blueberry-lemon cheesecake bars The island’s homegrown wild blueberries make these squares a sweet end to dinner.

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Decorate with local finds and homegrown antiques Part of the fun of owning a summer home is filling it with treasures you stumble upon on your outings, especially if the region has a rich decorative history. Handmade quilts, folk art and vintage signage add a personal touch and speak to the surrounding area.

Rugs and pillows, Elte. Bed linens, Au Lit Fine Linens.

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Food

Stovetop clambake

Green onion biscuits

Blueberry-lemon cheesecake bars

PREP TIME:20 MINS TOTAL TIME:35 MINS

PREP TIME:10 MINS TOTAL TIME:25 MINS

PREP TIME:25 MINS TOTAL TIME:1 HOUR 30 MINS

2 330-mL bottles beer , preferably lager 4 corn on the cobs , husked and snapped in half 12 clams 2 kg mussels , about 2 bags 250 g turkey kolbassa , casing removed, sliced into 1/2-in. chunks 2 tbsp unsalted butter lemon wedges , for serving

3 cups all-purpose flour 2 tbsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 1/3 cup finely sliced green onions 3/4 cup cold unsalted butter , grated 1 3/4 cups 35% cream

1 1/4 cup butter , at room temperature 1/2 cup granulated sugar 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tbsp lemon zest 1/4 tsp salt

1. Bring beer to boil over high in a very large pot with a tight-fitting lid. Add corn. Cover and cook until tender, about 6 min. Transfer corn with a slotted spoon to a medium bowl and cover tightly with foil.

Add clams and mussels to pot.

Cook, covered, until all shells have all opened, 6 to 8 min. Transfer clams and mussels to a large bowl and cover with foil. Add kielbasa and butter to the broth and stir until butter has melted completely.

Pour broth over clams and mussels. Serve corn alongside.

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1. Preheat oven to 450F. 2. Stir flour with baking powder, salt and green onions in a medium bowl. Season with fresh pepper.

Stir in grated butter. Add cream, stirring mixture with a fork, until it starts to come together. Transfer dough onto a floured surface and pat into a 1-in.-thick circle. Cut into 7 3-in. rounds with a cookie cutter or drinking glass; then roll scraps together and form into 1 more biscuit. Arrange on a baking sheet.

3. Bake in centre of oven until top of biscuits are dark golden, about 15 min.

FILLING 2 170-g tubs fresh blueberries , about 2 cups 2 tbsp brown sugar 2 tbsp lemon zest 2 tbsp lemon juice 2 250-g blocks cream cheese , at room temperature 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1 tbsp vanilla 2 eggs 1. Preheat oven to 350F. Line a 9×13in. baking pan with parchment, letting it overhang the pan.

2. Beat butter with 1/2 cup granulated sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer on medium, until creamy. Beat in flour, 1 tbsp lemon zest and salt until combined. Press dough over bottom of prepared pan. Bake in centre of oven until edges are golden, 25 to 30 min.

3. Combine blueberries with brown sugar, 2 tbsp lemon zest and juice in a small saucepan, and set over medium. Cook, stirring occasionally, until berries are just soft, 8 to 10 min. Set aside to cool.

4. Beat cream cheese with 1/2 cup granulated sugar and vanilla in large bowl with an electric mixer on medium, until smooth. Beat in eggs, 1 at a time, until combined.

Scrape mixture into warm crust and smooth top. Dollop blueberry mixture all over top. Gently pull a knife tip through the top to create swirls.

5. Bake in centre of oven until filling is set, about 40 min. Transfer to a rack to cool for 1 hour. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours before slicing into 16 bars.

Food

Old Bay butter A seasoned butter you can spread over biscuits and serve with a clambake, stew or soup.

PREP TIME:5 MINS TOTAL TIME:5 MINS 1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature 2 tsp Old Bay seasoning 1 tbsp finely chopped parsley Stir butter with seasoning and parsley in a medium bowl. Set aside until ready to use.

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Last Look

Movies

Zootopia March 4 In a world of anthropomorphic mammals, rabbit Judy Hopps from rural Bunnyburrow fulfills her childhood dream of becoming a police officer in urban Zootopia. Despite being the academy valedictorian, Judy is delegated to parking duty by Chief Bogo, who doubts her potential because she is a rabbit. On her first day, she is hustled by a con artist fox duo, Nick Wilde and Finnick. Judy abandons parking duty to arrest Duke Weaselton, a weasel who stole a bag of crocus bulbs known as Midnicampum holicithias. Bogo reprimands her, but an otter, Mrs. Otterton, enters Bogo's office pleading for someone to find her husband Emmitt, one of fourteen animals who are missing.

Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures 86

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