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woman THE OTHER

HER DEBUT ISSUE

N OVE M B E R 2 0 1 8

d e s o p Ex d e r e v o & Unc WHO IS SHE?

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#FREETHEOTHERWOMAN

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woman THE OTHER


Welcome

It is my pleasure to welcome you to the debut issue of The Other Woman. You’re probably wondering what my motive is creating this publication and why I deem it necessary to address The Other Woman. Well, I thought it was time to finally expose the secretive woman lurking behind the scenes of life – my life and yours. Yes, your life, too. Whether you believe it or not, the other woman is a part of your life more than you realize. You may already be conscious of the subtle signs of her existence and chosen to ignore her or maybe you’ve put on blinders to pretend she doesn’t exist with hopes she’ll eventually go away. I’m calling her out because I want you to be sensitive to her presence. I want you to acknowledge her and learn to live with her. I know this may sound absurd but before you judge me or call a friend to spiritually gossip about me, allow me to explain. I fought The Other Woman for many years and once I accepted the fact she wasn’t going anywhere, my struggle with her lessened. To be honest, she is a blessing in my life and I can’t imagine my life without her. She was waiting to be accepted and The Other Woman in your life is also waiting for you. How do I know The Other Woman is in your life? Trust me, she does. Stop fighting her, relax, and let life happen. I did. You can read more about my meeting The Other Woman on page eight. Again, welcome to The Other Woman. Lavender Shedrick Williams

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TH E O T H E R

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woman THE OTHER

HER DEBUT ISSUE EXPOSED & UNCOVERED

Copyright - The Other Woman is published three times a year by Candy Publishing, an independent publishing company located in Montgomery, AL Copyright 2018. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. Contact: Candy Publishing ATTN: The Other Woman P.O. Box 9082 Montgomery, AL 36108 Printed in the US.

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“It is my mission to help you discover the silenced and often suppressed woman resting within and infuse a desire to live courageously without reservation or regrets.�

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Contents P18

MY CONFIDENCE TO BE

P12 ARE YOU LIVING OR EXISTING?

P26 MARRIAGE MATTERS

P44 FROM A

MAN'S MIND

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P21 GRAY HAIR, HIDE OR SHINE?

P34 SINGLES SPACE

Who Is The Other Woman? 6 About the Cover 8 Life Happened 10 A Letter From The Other Woman Lifestyle Features 14 Betty Anderson 16 Ellen Molina Featured Articles 18 My Confidence to BE 21 Gray Hair, Hide or Shine? 22 What Aging Has Taught Me 24 Every day is a Good Day Singles Section 36 I Am Enough 39 Single, Holy & Horny 41 Successfully Single Marriage Matters 28 Under vs. Over 30 The Frustrated Man 32 Masturbation and Marriage From A Man’s Mind 46 Signs of a Cheater 48 Confront Your Man

The Other Woman contains enlightening articles written by women who have unleashed their Other Woman. Do you have an article to share? Send it to our Content Editor, Kitra Martindavis, to review at candypublishing1@gmail.com.

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IS THAT A

VAGINA? C

ontrary to what you may have been thinking about the image on our cover, it's not a vagina. It’s an image of the inside of a rose. The rose is one of the world’s most popular flowers. Its unique beauty and distinct scent invites smiles, warms hearts, and helps deliver an endless variety of messages without a word spoken. Similar to a woman, roses come in an array of colors, shapes, and forms – rose bushes, shrub roses, blush roses, climbing roses, miniature roses, and the list goes on and on. There is another remarkable similarity flowers, not just roses, have with a woman which is the reproductive organ, the ovary. Yes, flowers have an ovary! These similarities explain the vagina looking image on our cover title. The flower's ovary is the hollow cavity containing ovules which is the structure containing the egg cells. You'll never look at a rose the same way, and as a matter of fact, you may even look at one a little closer, a little deeper.

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That's not all. The petals on a rose are modified leaves with a purpose of attracting pollinators like birds and bees. Women aren't the only ones using our assets to attract. So, while you were thinking we were a little too edgy with our delivery, we were merely dropping a little knowledge on you.

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Photo by Terra Evans

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LIFE HAPPENED LAVENDER SHEDRICK WILLIAMS

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or 20 years, I poured my soul into my family – it was my life. I loved being a wife and mother until…life happened. After much prayer, more prayer and waiting for answered prayers, I chose to walk away from my twenty-year marriage. I like to say I was "released" from the union. Call it what you wish – I walked. Yes, I tried to salvage the withering vows. For many years, I prayed for change, yet the more I prayed, the more I felt my continual forgiveness was condoning unacceptable behavior. For better or for worse. Til death do us part. Divorce wasn't an option. Unfortunately, I felt alone in my fight and was robotically going through the motions of being a wife - inside and outside of the bedroom. Why? Because staying married was the right thing to do. The “right” thing had consequences on my health, well-being, and peace of mind. My worth as a woman (and a human being) was being challenged. I had joy, but I wasn't happy. I finally found the courage to think about myself instead of the 20 years we built together. I had to love myself more than I enjoyed the idea of family life. I had to love myself more than the many couples we ministered to through our church's Couples Ministry. I had to love myself more than the possible impact divorce would have on our sons. I had to love myself more than what anyone would say or think. I had to

“When love is no longer served, it’s time to get up from the table.” NINA SIMONE

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love myself more than what religion taught me. Yes, forgiveness is necessary but the God I serve told me to forgive and get the hell out. It was then when I met The Other Woman – the other woman in me. Now in my Golden Years, I'm evolving and awakening to The Other Woman who was dormant for many years – resting within me and waiting to live. I'm not suggesting you leave your husband or significant other. I'm attempting to pour a little courage into your spirit. I want you to acknowledge your other woman before your life is over. Have you ever felt a stirring to do something other than the norm? To take a risk? To embrace the change you’ve been avoiding? That’s the other woman nudging you! The other woman is the life which has been placed on hold, suppressed in a world of submission due to child rearing, society, religion, family, roles, titles, responsibilities, and what “they” said. The other woman doesn't confuse her homegrown values or religious upbringing with her heartfelt emotions. She doesn’t allow the standards of society to influence her choices. She makes up her own mind – she thinks for herself. She lives with no regrets. She is brave. She is free to simply…be. Rebellion? I call it not giving a damn what other people think about what I do on my one-way journey called LIFE. I am the other woman. You are the other woman! There is a life force within waiting to be set free. The other woman rests in us and now is the time to be aware of her presence and acknowledge her. Now is the time to stop ignoring her nudges, set The Other Woman free and begin to live as you've never lived before! TH E O T H E R

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When you die, those who truly love you will grieve but not as much as the other woman who was never allowed to live.

Kelli Schofield

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D Dear Woman,

Forgive me for barging into your life, seemingly unannounced, but you wouldn't acknowledge me or answer my subtle yet frequent nudges. I understand you may have some reservations and perhaps a few fears about my intentions. I'm not here to dictate how you live your life; I only want you to be more aware of your life and the incomparable worth you bestow. I’m here to help you grasp life in a way you never have. We all realize how time flies, but think about your age for just a second. Where are you on the timeline of life? 20----30----40----50---60----70----80. How many years of your life have gone by? What did you do with them? Were you so busy living life, you forgot to live? Whether you're a mother or not, married, single or divorced, in your thirties or eighties, you are a woman who is deserving of recognition, honor, and the freedom to unreservedly live the life you've been gifted. Life is a one-way journey. No round trip tickets! You've already given a significant part of your life (if not all of it) to others. Women give. We nurture, support, encourage, enlighten and inspire. We even do some things we don't want to do and often do for those who don't appreciate or understand the magnitude of our value as a woman. People will use you until they use you up. Why? Maybe because we allow them to use us? Woman, you deserve the same of what you've been giving to others. Time is passing by, and you're getting older.

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If you don't do for yourself now, then when? Why not take that vacation you've been dreaming of and pursue the career you've been wanting. Start the business you want. Complete the degree you began, plan the party you've always wanted to host, drop your guard and receive the unexpected love calling you. Get rid of thoughts from your past and enjoy the present. Show those big, beautiful legs more often. Treat yourself to a candlelight dinner. Take a risk and do something you've always feared doing. There was a time when women were limited and laws prevented us from doing certain things. Those days are over! The only obstacle you now have is Self. Get out of your way! You're wasting valuable time making excuses and waiting on someone else to bring the life you desire to fruition. Allow your other woman to live. Set me free! You know I'm here because you silence me when I try to speak. You suppress me when I'm stirred up. You deny me when I compromise your comfort zone. You have a right to laugh out loud, a right to walk in your worth, and a right to enjoy life the way you want to enjoy it. Stop living for others and live unapologetically without reservation or regrets! Set me free, The Other Woman

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“I feel free to simply BE” woman THE OTHER

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LIVING OR

? g n i t Exis

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t’s a complete waste of time to try to speculate the life of a woman. While publicly living her life, there is another life force residing in a secret state within her heart and mind. I recall a movie about a Jewish woman who followed her family's Jewish lifestyle and customs. She lived a full life while interacting with the Jewish community, yet she felt an emptiness. Something was missing from her life. She married and continued to live her husband's Jewish lifestyle helping him fulfill his dreams while denying her own pursuit of happiness. She didn't have a clue who she was or what she wanted, but one thing the woman did know – she wasn't happy. The woman wasn't allowed to enjoy simple pleasures such as listening to her choice of music because of what the "community" would say. One day this faithful wife and new mother met a stranger while running errands. The mere presence of the stranger who wasn't from her community

was a breath of fresh air for her. The conversation was different. The tone of his voice was different. She was definitely out of her comfort zone, but she began to crave the "newness" of the stranger who quickly became less strange. He introduced her to wearing blue jeans which invited a little pep in her step and ignited her desire to BE. She realized a little freedom didn’t mean she didn’t love her family. She only desired an occasional few minutes of being her Self and doing something she enjoyed without being judged by the community. As her new jeans were broken in, the woman's spirit broke out. She found joy in something small, but it was a huge awakening for the silenced woman within – her other woman. Sure, we all have responsibilities in life, but don't lose your Self under the many hats you wear. Don't just endure life, live and enjoy your life! Be free to be…YOU!

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Profile for lavendershedrick

The Other Woman Magazine - An excerpt from her debut issue.  

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