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TEASER INT. CALTECH / LEONARD’S LAB - DAY LEONARD, RAJ AND HOWARD GATHER AROUND A LAB TABLE, SAFETY GOGGLES PERCHED ON TOP OF THEIR HEADS.! A PARTICLE ACCELERATOR-- ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF A LARGE DOG-- SITS ON THE TABLETOP. RAJ What is this supposed to do again? LEONARD PERKS UP AND SPEAKS IN HIS “PRESENTATION VOICE.” LEONARD Using a miniature version of the Large Hadron Collider, I will address the issues that are holding physicists back from conclusively declaring the existence of the Higgs boson. RAJ So? LEONARD So, it could explain the origin of mass in the universe! HOWARD Yeah, that’s really something.

Can

you just do the demonstration so I can grab lunch?

Leslie Winkle is

working on a new sports bra and I want to maximize my time with her dazzling, lingerie-clad test subjects.


2. LEONARD AND RAJ SHARE AN EYE ROLL.! LEONARD QUICKLY WALKS TO THE DOOR AND PEERS OUT. LEONARD I’m waiting for Sheldon. RAJ Why?

So he point out your mistakes

and mock you? LEONARD No, so he can support me the way friends are supposed to support each other. HOWARD Leonard, this is Sheldon.

We had

to explain to him why people exchange birthday presents. LEONARD TILTS HIS HEAD, CONSIDERING. LEONARD Good point. LEONARD WALKS BACK TO THE PARTICLE ACCELERATOR. THE MEN LOWER THEIR SAFETY GOGGLES AS SHELDON RUSHES INTO THE ROOM. HOWARD Sheldon, you’re late. SHELDON Not at all.

Like Gandalf the Grey,

I arrive exactly when I mean to. HOWARD HANDS SHELDON A PAIR OF SAFETY GOGGLES.


3. LEONARD Anyway... this is a miniature version of the Large Hadron Collider... SHELDON (INTERRUPTING) Just do the demonstration so I can go back to work.

I’m close to a very

important breakthrough. LEONARD And on that encouraging note... LEONARD PUSHES A BUTTON.! NOTHING HAPPENS. SHELDON I’m so glad I took time out of my day to watch a particle accelerator do absolutely nothing. LEONARD SHUFFLES AROUND SOME PAPERS. LEONARD Hold on a second, guys.

If I can

just find the error in my calculations and correct it, then-LEONARD LOOKS UP.

THE LAB IS EMPTY. LEONARD (CONT’D)

Guys? THERE IS NO ANSWER. END TEASER


The Big Bang Theory: The Tenure Miscalculation